Bruins Resign David Pastrnak for 6 Years and $40 Million

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NBC Sports – The Boston Bruins have finally found a way to get restricted free agent David Pastrnak under contract, according to TSN hockey insider Darren Dreger. Pastranak new contract is reportedly for six years and $40 million (annual average value of $6.67 million).

BOO YAH! I’m not gonna lie, I was getting increasingly worried the Bruins were going to fuck it up with yet another young stud player. We saw it with Phil Kessel, then Tyler Seguin and then most recently with Dougie Hamilton. With all the talk going around the past couple of weeks about how far apart the Bruins and Pasta’s camp were on negotiations its great to see this deal finally get done. And at a reasonable average annual value too. $40 million over 6 years works out to about $6.6 million per year, which makes him the fourth highest paid player on the Bruins, according to Spotrac, ahead of Brad Marchand, but still behind David Krejci, Patrice Bergeron and Tuukka Rask. That should make everyone happy.

I’m just glad Peter Chiarelli didn’t fuck up this team’s cap salary from the other side of the country after setting the market with the absolutely absurd Leon Draisaitl contract of 8 years at $8.5 million per year. The Bruins clearly weren’t approaching that type of money nor should they have. I love Pastrnak, I’m a proud owner of a No. 88 t-shirt jersey and I think he’s gonna be a superstar in this league. But 8 years at $8.5 mil for a 21-year-old with one breakout season is crazy talk. Glad the Bruins were able to meet in the middle though and get a deal done. After months of the Red Sox, Pats, and Celtics stealing headlines, finally some shine for the Bruins.

PS – That $40 mil should buy a LOT of new tattoos at Boston Barber and Tattoo Co.

Craig Carton Just Resigned from WFAN

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So after last week’s wild story of Craig Carton getting a visit from the FBI for allegedly running a multi-million dollar ticket scam, he resigned from WFAN today. What a wild situation to find yourself in. As a guy who appreciates a good contrarian in my local sports talk radio, its unfortunate to see a dude submarine his own dream job. Looks like Boomer Esiason is going to need a new co-host for one of the most popular sports talk shows in the country. Gary Tanguay was on WEEI this AM throwing out rumors that Fred Toucher could be Carton’s replacement. Gonna be an interesting story to follow, thats for sure. Carton’s full statement below:

“For 10 years I’ve had the great privilege of showing up to work every day at my dream job. I have nothing but love and respect for my co-host, the show and the entire CBS Radio family and I’ve always tried to represent them in the best possible light.

Unfortunately, the unfounded legal issues currently plaguing me will only be a distraction to everyone at WFAN and the show I helped build. With that in mind, I have submitted my resignation to the station and they accepted. I am sad to see this chapter of my life close but know that it will allow me to focus on my family, my well-being and clearing my name, while giving the show the best opportunity to succeed without further disruption.

I’ve always felt a personal connection to our listeners and want to thank them for making me a part of their daily routine. I hope they can respect the fact that as much as I want to talk about the allegations against me I can’t at this time. There will come a time when I will be able to speak directly about the case and I hope our listeners will be there.

From the bottom of my heart, I’d like to thank my family, friends, listeners and especially the executives at WFAN and CBS Radio for their continued understanding and for giving me the most amazing platform to do what I love to do the most, besides being with my family.”

 

Craig

Philip Rivers Commutes to LA from San Diego in His $200K SUV. Wait, What?

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Yahoo – Rivers and his wife, Tiffany, decided not to uproot their family (they have eight children, ranging in age from 2 years old to high school freshman), for at least the Chargers’ first year in Los Angeles, with Rivers deciding to see how he could handle the ride. Enter his man cave on wheels. In a story by the San Diego Union-Tribune’s Kevin Acee, we learn that Rivers has invested in a custom SUV – a rolling film room, if you will – that will make his drive to and from work productive.

Hooold the fucking phone, wait a minute, the San Diego Chargers moved to Los Angeles this season, but apparently Philip Rivers did not move with them?

So this dude is making a 2-3 hour commute EACH WAY every day so he can continue to live in San Diego? My uncle’s girlfriend used to commute to Manhattan from fucking Pennsylvania taking planes, trains and buses to get there, but she wasn’t making $14 million per year. I’m pretty sure Phil could find a suitable home a little bit closer to his place of employment.

I guess if you’re a stubborn dude and just want to left alone at your house like we all do, might as well make the most of your commute. And creating an entertainment center to watch “game film” in the backseat ain’t a bad way to spend $200K.

I would love to get taxied to and from work every day, but I’m a poor person so I have to drive myself. But if I could sit in the back and ride along can you imagine the amount of time that would free up for me? I sure as shit wouldn’t be working from the backseat though, I’ll tell ya that. Really putting his ear to the grindstone during rush hour traffic. Phil’s prob just crushing episodes of Narcos back there. LOL celebrities, they really are just like us.

Get Me Andrew Bogut On This Celtics Team ASAP

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CBS Sports – Andrew Bogut is nearing a return to the NBA, and the Celtics are reportedly among the four teams interested in the Australian big man’s services. Bogut, who hasn’t played since March after breaking his leg, underwent a final bone scan on Tuesday and is expected to be cleared to hit the floor in the near future. The seven-footer hopes to sign with a team within the next week, with four teams already showing interest. The Celtics are one of those four teams, according to The Boston Globe’s Adam Himmeslbach.

The Celtics No. 1 weakness for years has been their (lack of) rebounding on both ends of the glass. Usually they seemingly just punt on it and say rebounding will “be a team effort.” Which is a great way to say, we know we’re gonna finish at the bottom of the league in that stat again. They finished 26th in the league last year.

After being one of the most sought after big men at the trade deadline last year, Bogut ultimately signed with Cleveland after getting bought out by the 76ers. Tell me you don’t like my idea, tell me you don’t like my firm, tell me you don’t like my fucking neck tie, but don’t tell me the Celtics aren’t one of the most intriguing teams to join right now, Andy.

Bogut infamously broke his leg in minute 1 on the floor for the Cavs last year. Now healthy the 32-year-old Center is back on the FA market and the Celtics are reportedly 1 of 4 teams interested in the big man. Get this guy on board, Danny. Especially if he’s willing to take the veteran’s minimum. That would allow us to put the Marc Gasol rumors to bed, since we’d have to trade half our roster just to fit Gasol under the salary cap.

Its also a pretty strong coincidence that after the Isaiah-Kyrie trade the Celtics have had one open roster spot looming so I think Danny is hunting for a veteran on the cheap like Bogut. Not a big time scorer as he averaged 2.9 pts last season, but he did average 8.1 rebounds and is a literal 7 footer. His career numbers are 10 pts, 8.9 rebounds, 2.3 assists so maybe his scoring bounces back a bit being in one spot for the entire year, but his rebounding has been consistent his whole career. He’d be a great guy to have on the bench and a true Center to pair with Aaron Baynes, while allowing Al Horford to play where he prefers. Horford played well at Center last year, but similar to how the C’s used to use Garnett, its not his true position. I think Horford playing better was more a matter of him amping up his intensity more than playing the 5.

BRING ME ANDREW BOGUT!

 

Here’s the Billion Dollar DraftKings Lineup

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As I mentioned on The 300s podcast Monday, this Billion – With a B – Dollar Challenge from DraftKings was complete and total bullshit with a B. Daily Fantasy Sports Codes proved my point when they reported that the Billion Dollar Lineup would have scored 232.98 points, while the top lineup for the week only scored 198.44.

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Here’s a comparison of the top lineup and the “perfect” lineup, from Daily Fantasy Sports Codes:

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I can’t believe no one thought to draft three Lions, three rookies and a bottom-ten defense from a year ago to crack the code.

Again, I understand that a contest for such a large sum of money has to be nearly to impossible to win. The Billion Dollar Bracket is damn near impossible to win but at least offers a tiny glimpse of hope. I’m pretty good at predicting first round games. If I run the table in the first round, it’s just 31 more coin flips in a row that need to go my way for the billion. Also, I can pick all four one seeds in the first round. The billion dollar lineup was not that simple.

It was not “pick the best player at all these positions.” That would be hard enough. It was draft “the lineup that scores the most DraftKings fantasy points that could possibly be scored within the salary cap and position requirements.” I’d rather take my chances with Powerball. I know for a fact someone has won Powerball in the past. I don’t think anyone in a thousand years will draft the “perfect” lineup.

Introducing The 300s Sports Journalist Power Rankings

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Sports Journalist Power Rankings? This needs to happen plain and simple. I’m sure pro athletes, for all the money and fame they have, are sick of a lot of shit. Primarily dumpy white dudes in their fifties deciding which players are the best and the worst.

 

YES, give it to me CJ. But in the meantime, lets take a crack ourselves. I present, The 300s Sports Journalist Power Rankings.

No. 1 – Adam Schefter: The perennial GOAT at the position, has remained at the height of his powers for several seasons now and we see no slowing down in sight. What he lacks in pure height, Schefter makes up for in tenacity and tweeting speed.

No. 2 – Adrian Wojnarowksi: How many writers can claim to have truly added their mark to the English language? Wojnarowski has done just that with the creation of “Woj Bombs” to categorize his breaking news tweets. While currently residing at No. 2 in our annual power rankings, we predict a battle for the top spot with Schefter as early as next season.

No. 3 – Jay Glazer: His stock has only been on the rise since a recurring role on HBO’s Ballers. Glazer lacks the lateral quickness to cover multiple sports, but is an alpha dog where the NFL is concerned.

No. 4 – Buster Olney: The thinking man’s ideal player. Olney is always one step ahead of his competition and has used that skill set to reach the top of the profession.

No. 5 – Stephen A. Smith: One of the bad boys of the league, Smith excels in his instigator role. But as a well rounded player Screamin Stephen A. is still well tapped in around NBA circles, landing him the No. 5 spot on our Power Rankings.

No. 6 – Al Michaels: A fan favorite for not only his well versed play by play, but his late game not-so-subtle references to gambling odds, spreads and over/unders being blown.

No. 7 – Bill Simmons: While leaving the worldwide leader forced him to make the Sophie’s Choice of axing his baby in Grantland, Simmons is still one of the most powerful names in sports journalism. With a heavy hitter umbrella of podcasts, Simmons is looking to bring The Ringer to a similar prominence. Bonus points: Getting Ben Affleck to go apeshit defending Tom Brady on his HBO show.

No. 8 – Peter Gammons: Gammons is still a productive player, a savvy veteran leaning on reputation alone to get the job done, but as an aging former all-star his days atop the power rankings are likely limited.

No. 9 – Matthew Berry: The definition of a role player on a championship winning team. Berry sticks to Fantasy Football, but he does it better than anyone else in the league. As a role player or a 6th man off the bench Berry provides immense value.

No. 10 – Skip Bayless: The closest thing to Lance Stephenson in the realm of sports writers. A player who’s sole job is to irritate the competition, Bayless is unmatched, which is why he closes out our Top 10.

 

How’d we do? Tweet us who you think should’ve made the list @The300sBoston

If You Pay $1,000 for an iPhone X You are a Sheep

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TechCrunch – Ten years ago, the world got much bigger and much smaller, all in one fell swoop. Steve Jobs introduced the iPhone, the first internet-connected smartphone that put user experience above all, finally executing on the idea of a full touchscreen handset. This ushered in the rise of constant social networking, an application economy, and a complete dependence on our smartphones for just about everything. Today, Apple has introduced the iPhone 8 and iPhone 8 Plus. But in true Apple fashion, Tim Cook promised us “one more thing.” Today, ten years later, Apple is introducing the iPhone X. And, by the way, it’s pronounced “Ten.”…The iPhone X starts at $999 for the 64GB model, with a larger 256GB option. Pre-orders begin on October 27 and regular sales begin November 3, just in time for the Holidays.

$999 for a cell phone? Are you out of your fucking mind? Let me say this loud and clear. If you pay $1,000 for the new iPhone then you my friend are a sheep.

They even created an annual subscription model for sheep like you with the option to upgrade EVERY TIME a new iPhone comes out. I got my first iPhone in 2013 and have had all of one other iPhone since then. Two phones in nearly 5 years. Now mine weren’t exactly free, but come the fuck on.

I guess Apple released the iPhone 8 and the iPhone 8 Plus today too? Then immediately kicked the legs out on their own product and introduced the iPhone X.

And, by the way, it’s pronounced “Ten.”

Of course it is.

But its got facial recognition! Don’t care. No home button! Don’t care. Wireless charging? Apple can’t even get wired charging to work half the time. You know how many times I wake up and my phone thats been plugged into the wall all night is at 20% battery?

I’m just about ready to go back to my Razr flip phone. (That was THE hottest phone on the streets in 7th grade) If I weren’t so goddamn addicted to checking Twitter every 5 minutes I would go straight up nuclear winter. Send me a page and I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m by a payphone.

But since these phones don’t really make dramatic improvements with every iteration here is my advice: Buy an otterbox so you can just beat the shit out of your current overpriced pocket computer and hold onto it for a bit. Save your money for more sensible purchases, like Yeezys.

Adrian Peterson Doing His Best to Piss Off His New Coach in Week 1

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Jesus christ, if looks could kill man. Peterson only played 9 snaps in the game rushing for just 18 yards, which he probably wasn’t too happy about, even more so considering he was probably looking for a little revenge against the Vikings. He can clearly be seen on the sidelines yelling “HEY!” at Sean Payton, who finally turns around and puts the fear of god into AP. With one look just reminding him you’re thirty-fucking-two, that team across the field just cut you, you’re my backup runningback, and I can cut you tomorrow.

Welp good to see things are going so great in New Orleans for AP after such a strong training camp risking his life to cultivate mass.