#RushHourRap – CRS – Us Placers

Without a doubt, the most underutilized rap group of my lifetime. CRS aka Child Rebel Soldier was made up of Kanye West, Pharrell Williams, and Lupe Fiasco. Us Placers was released in 2007 and that was just about all we ever heard from CRS. To be fair this came out *right* before Kanye’s Graduation, and Lupe’s The Cool, which are two of the best rap albums of all time, so I can see how this may have gotten put on the back burner.

However, Kanye is known for collaborating with all kinds of artists, but is also infamous for boasting about forming rap super groups that never come to fruition. Some of these groups turn into classic platinum records like Watch the Throne with Jay Z. Another is just beginning as Ye has most recently teamed up with Kid Cudi to form Kids See Ghosts. Others result in an absolute fire single only to never be heard from again like CRS.

Kanye, Pharrell, and Lupe were also credited on the 2008 N.E.R.D. remix for Everyone Nose as CRS, which still bangs to this day, but is definitely more of a N.E.R.D. song than anything else.

Technically CRS had one other song that came out in 2010 called Don’t Stop, but it was a G.O.O.D. Fridays release so I don’t really count it. If you remember, G.O.O.D. Fridays was a free weekly music drop back in 2010, which was a godsend in college, that Kanye launched leading up to My Dark Beautiful Twisted Fantasy.  Kanye utilized the full roster of his label GOOD Music to release music every Friday for several months, including hits like Power, Don’t Look Down, and a number of tracks that eventually made their way onto MDBTF like Devil in a New Dress.

Time Lord Robert Williams Doesn’t Know What Day It is Because Time is Just a Social Construct

Yahoo –  Boston Celtics rookie Robert Williams, sidelined the past five games with a groin injury, offered a refreshingly honest admission about the early days of NBA life.

“This might sound funny but I literally don’t know the days of the week,” Williams said after practice on (take note, Rob!) Sunday. “I promise, I couldn’t tell you what today is. I forget the days of the week. And with the traveling, mix up the hotel room numbers from the previous [night] – it’s a lot man. It’s a lot. It’s worth it though.”

Williams isn’t revealing anything that most rookies haven’t already experienced. The grind of NBA life, particularly with the heavy travel, makes it tough to keep the calendar straight. But in admitting it, Williams probably only strengthened the chances that his “Time Lord” nickname will stick.

Robert Williams doesn’t live in the same timeline of reality as normal human beings like you and me so he doesn’t know, nor need, the days of the week. Thats just how a Time Lord operates. So to that I say, forget these social constructs like “Monday” and just go out there and block some shots into the rafters, Robert.

Now go buy a Time Lord shirt!

Or better yet, a Time Lord clock…

I Am in a Race Against Time vs the Plastic Bag Ban in Boston

CBS News – A Boston city ordinance banning major grocery store chains from providing plastic bags to customers went into effect Friday. The new law – enacted to help reduce pollution and clean up city streets – applies only to checkout bags, described in the ordinance as carryout bags with handles. Retailers can still stock recyclable paper bags, compostable bags or reusable bags and sell them for at least 5 cents, as long as the charge is advertised near the checkout location, according to the ordinance, signed into law by Mayor Marty Walsh last December.

I bring my lunch to work every day in a repurposed Stop and Shop plastic bag because I’m a man of the people. I’m also not 5 so I don’t own a lunch box. However, today I had a very, very sobering realization. Finished making my lunch, got all the essentials, I reach under the sink and realized I am running *dangerously* low on plastic bags. Like we are at DEFCON 1. The Mrs. has already transitioned our grocery shopping over to the reusable satchels that Big Grocery has been trying to force down our throats for years so there are no new plastic bags coming into my household any more.

What is a man to do?

Do I cave and buy an Avengers lunchbox like a child? Do I just haul my Yeti cooler around like I’m heading to lay some concrete at the construction site?

I am a man at a crossroads in his life.

Come to think of it, I did buy one of the reusable grocery satchels years ago, but it’s a Super Mario one because I really am an overgrown manchild. Might be a bit aggressive for carrying my lunch around though…

#RushHourRap – Black Star – K.O.S. (Determination)

Black Star was a rap group consisting of Mos Def and Talib Kweli with K.O.S. being released in 1998 and was the duo’s only album under the shared name. Do yourself a favor and go give this entire album a listen then do what I did and go down the rabbit hole that is the career of Mos Def. One look at that guy’s career is a great way to inspire yourself to get off your ass and go get it.

At exactly which point do you start to realize
That (life without knowledge is death in disguise?)
That’s why, knowledge of self is like life after death
Apply it, to your life, let destiny manifest

Chicago Kicker Cody Parkey May Have Just Killed the Bears Mascot

Being a kicker must be the absolute worst way to live. Sure, you get paid millions of dollars but you never get any credit unless your name is Adam Vinatieri because you’re supposed to hit your kicks. So it’s a lose lose situation. When you miss a game winning kick you might as well just pack your shit because the entire city now wants your head on a spike. Even the poor mascot couldn’t take it and apparently had a heart attack right on the field.

Nick Foles just continues to snatch souls right out of his opponents as his deal with the devil rolls on.

Biz Markie Steals the Show at Target Center ’90s Night

img_4444Friday night was ’90s night at Target Center for the Minnesota Timberwolves/Orlando Magic game. The Timberwolves wore their Kevin Garnett Classic Edition uniforms, the jumbotron went old school for the night and Christian Laettner made an appearance. The only thing missing was Roundball Rock.

[Side note – Roundball Rock is back! On Fox College Hoops.]

It was Biz Markie who stole the show on Friday night, though, with his halftime performance of Kevin Youkilis’s walkup song Just a Friend.

It was the first halftime show I’ve ever stayed in my seat to watch, and way better than the usual halftime show of a guy standing on a dozen stacked up chairs.

Today is the Eight Year Anniversary of My Appearance on The Jerry Springer Show

Facebook Memories are a glorious thing sometimes. Eight years ago today I legitimately skipped a final exam in college to go sit in the front row at The Jerry Springer Show.

That is not a punch line. It was either final exam* or an opportunity to see the legend that is Jerry.

I chose Jerry.

The Jerry Springer Show is filmed in Stamford, CT which is less than an hour from where Mattes, Papa Giorgio and I all went to college. So when a friend, without any sort of heads up, came out of the woodworks and said he had tickets to Jerry that day? There was no choice to be made. We were going.

The audience of Jerry Springer is a rare breed of humans that come together to watch  people just beat the hell out of each other before you even have lunch. I actually got to ask one of the questions that aired at the end of the show too, which still haunts me to this day that we don’t have recorded somewhere.

*Luckily, my professor found it hilarious and actually let me take the final at a later date because college is fake life.

Taking a Look at the 2018 NFL All-Pro Teams

From NFL.com

FIRST TEAM

OFFENSE

DEFENSE

SPECIAL TEAMS

SECOND TEAM

OFFENSE

DEFENSE

SPECIAL TEAMS

_______________________________________________________________________________

-The first thing I want to point out is apparently there is now a “flex” position in All-Pro teams which is LAUGH OUT LOUD funny. Fantasy Football just owning real estate in the NFL’s head. I actually giggled a bit, especially when you consider the fact that Tyreek Hill is for sure a WR and Christian McCaffrey is most definitely a RB

-A paltry 2 New England Patriots made this list. Stephon Gilmore made the first team while Cordarrelle Patterson made the second as a KR (aka 2nd Flex) (kidding). I’m not sure what our record is in our years of greatness but I highly doubt it’s actually much more than two so maybe it isn’t that big of a deal. I think Shaq Mason got stiffed a bit but the Patriots OL brand is to be shitty, so I think he might of got the shaft due to reputation which sucks but happens.*

-At my a count, truly PREPOSTEROUS SIX rookies made All-Pro status. What a stacked fucking draft class. Remember when everyone ripped the Colts for taking Quenton Nelson at 6? Who is laughing now? But wait, want to really get nuts? An additional FIVE All Pros are from the 17′ class are on here. 11 All-Pros from the last two drafts. Sheesh.

-In regards to the above, Leighton Vander Esch also deserves a shout out. For most people he was “fucking who?” when he got selected and only collected 140 tackles on the year. Never found the QB but that is probably because he was too busy terrorizing the second level.

-Both Kelce brothers made First Team so that family is talentless.

-Cleveland Guard Joel Bitonio, long considered one of the good guys in the league, a worker through and through who sticks by his perennially shitty team a la his former linemate, Joe Thomas, made his first All-Pro team so kudos there.

-I had no idea JJ Watt had such a monster year. It makes me want to revisit my comment on the Pats and demand Trent Brown make this list off his game against Watt alone.*

-Also props to Julio Jones on finding this list a lot quicker than he found the end zone.

Hot Takes on the 2019 Pro Football Hall of Fame Finalists

Image result for football hall of fame logo

On Thursday night, the Pro Football Hall of Fame’s Board of Selectors announced the list of the 15 modern-era finalists who are eligible for induction into the H.O.F. in 2019 – and HO-LEE HELL, it is absolutely freakin’ LOADED.

No, seriously, I have no idea how in the world they are only going to be able to select five guys from the list. (While no less than seven people have been inducted into the Hall each year since 2010, only five “modern-era” finalists can be selected for enshrinement each year. It should also be noted that while some of those announced last night are on the ballot for the first time, not all of them are; rather, this year’s finalists were chosen from an overall pool of 102 other eligible “modern-era” players.)

And the best part is that I actually remember watching pretty much all of these guys! For the past few years, I’ve found myself caring more and more about the Hall – and the dog and pony show that comes along with it – than I ever did as a kid. With former players like Marvin Harrison, Terrell Davis, Jason Taylor, Kurt Warner, Terrell Owens, LaDainian Tomlinson, Brian Dawkins, Brian Urlacher, and Randy Moss all getting in within the past three classes, I have never been more attuned to the yearly announcement than I am nowadays.

Image result for 2018 hall of fame football

Last year’s class was a solid group.

But this list??!! I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first saw it, and I have been agonizing all morning over which five of them I’d choose to make it in (ya know, if my opinion actually mattered at all in the grand scheme of things).

OK, OK, Mattes. We get it. So who’s on the list?

Here’s a full list of the 15 modern-era legends being talked about for next year’s class:

  • Steve Atwater
  • Champ Bailey
  • Tony Boselli
  • Isaac Bruce
  • Don Coryell
  • Alan Faneca
  • Tom Flores
  • Tony Gonzalez
  • Steve Hutchinson
  • Edgerrin James
  • Ty Law
  • John Lynch
  • Kevin Mawae
  • Ed Reed
  • Richard Seymour

That rundown reads like an early-2000s Madden dream team. And it even includes two former Patriots!

Save for Law, Seymour, Flores, and Reed, the group is actually pretty light in terms of Super Bowl hardware, but the amount of collective Pro Bowl appearances and All-Pro selections is ridiculous.

But alas, only five can be selected, so here are my picks for the 2019 Pro Football Hall of Fame Class:

(Tony Gonzalez)

Image result for tony gonzalez catch chiefs

Tony G. was the easiest pick on the list for me. Some might be very quick to mention that it took him 16 years to finally get a playoff win, especially considering the fact he played on some pretty good teams in Kansas City and Atlanta throughout his career. OK. Fine. But there’s no doubting the fact that he is the most consistent and dependable tight end to ever play the game. In fact, he’s one of the most consistent and dependable pass-catchers to ever play the game, finishing second all-time in career receptions with 1,325! Only Jerry Rice has caught more balls in the history of the game, and the only other tight end who is even remotely close to Gonzalez’s total is Jason Witten – and he’s still almost 200 catches behind. Gonzalez is also eighth all-time with 111 receiving touchdowns. This is a guy who should get in purely on his numbers alone.

(Ed Reed)

Image result for ed reed

Throughout the first decade of the new millenium, there may have been no more dominant safety in the NFL than Ed Reed. (Although Troy Polamalu and Brian Dawkins, another Hall-of-Famer, might’ve given him a run for his money.) No, Reed wasn’t the biggest guy, or the hardest hitter. But his all-around ability gave opposing offensive coordinators fits, as there was very little you could do to fool him. He was always in the right spot at the right time, making tackles all over the field and ultimately finishing seventh on the all-time interceptions list with 64. Even Bill Belichick, who almost never gives praise to pretty much anyone, said this to Ed Reed back in 2009: “You’re the best free safety that has ever played this game that I’ve seen. You’re awesome.” Reed also helped the Ravens win a Super Bowl in 2013.

(Champ Bailey)

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Another guy who I’m selecting based more upon numbers as opposed to wins, Bailey defined the term “lockdown cornerback.” His 52 career interceptions are even more impressive when you consider the fact that most opposing quarterbacks usually did anything they could to avoid throwing the ball anywhere near him on the field. He was an All-Pro selection seven times in his career, including three in which he was on the First Team, and very few players in history have ever been able to completely nullify a team’s No. 1 receiver on such a consistent and prolonged basis. Bailey played in his first Super Bowl as a 35-year-old, injury-riddled backup in 2014, but his Broncos were annihilated by the Seahawks, 41-8. Still, this guy is one of the greatest cover men to ever play the game.

Here’s where it gets super tough, but I only have two more slots to fill. So, without further ado:

(Alan Faneca) 

Image result for alan faneca blocking

This one might not be the sexiest of picks, but I gotta show some love to the big fella. Faneca was a reliable and consistent force on the Steelers’ offensive line for 10 seasons and missed a total of only two games over that time. He not only helped Jerome Bettis stay relevant toward the end of his career, but he was also one of the people helping to protect a young Big Ben, with whom he won a Super Bowl in 2006. He was also a First-Team All-Pro six times (again, not just “All-Pro,” but “First-Team All-Pro”). (Side note: I always made sure to select Faneca as my top O-lineman in my Madden fantasy drafts. I’ve been a big fan of this dude for years.)

(Tom Flores)

Image result for tom flores

OK, so I wasn’t even a twinkle in my parents’ eyes during Flores’s time, but after reading a pretty awesome ESPN.com article on him today, I can’t ignore what I now know. Flores is eligible to be inducted into the Hall as a coach, even though he did spend some time as a player. And he was not just any player; he was the first professional Latino quarterback in history and finished as the fifth-leading passer in AFL history. (Again, this was before the NFL as we know it today was a thing.) He’s also won four combined Super Bowls in his career: one as a player, one as an assistant coach, and two as head coach of the Raiders in the 1980s. Again, I’m no expert on the guy, but after learning as much as I did about him recently, he’s a shoe-in.

We won’t know who ultimately makes it in until early February, but it’s always fun to speculate. (And I’m sorry to my guys Ty Law and Richard Seymour! But as the faithful 300s readers know, I’m no Patriots toadie! They’ll always be my No. 1 squad till I die, but I also keep it real, baby!)

We’d also love to know who you think should make it in and why. Be sure to let us know in the comments section or on Facebook!

The Joe Rogan Podcast With Kanye West is Coming Soon and I am Jacked Up

Joe Rogan has one of the most popular podcasts in the world and interviews everyone from his comedian buddies to UFC stars, astrophysicists, psychologists, and even self proclaimed UFO and alien life experts like Tom Delonge. Rogan is an excellent interviewer as he knows when to jump in and stir some shit up, but he also knows when to sit back and just let the guest go.

Not long ago Kanye West was tweeting up a storm after he took a ton of flak for his bizarre appearance alongside Donald Trump in the White House. Shit, even Trump looked nervous wondering if the whole thing was about to go off the rails.

Kanye was flummoxed at the overwhelmingly negative response his appearance got and legitimately seemed desperate for a way to make people “understand” him, which is what you see from a lot of creative types when they hit a crossroads.

Kanye is saying nobody wants to actually listen to him and would rather just put him into a box and disregard what he says as “crazy.” He’s not wrong. It’s easy to do and I am always cognizant of doing that to anyone after hearing Dave Chappelle discuss a similar situation years ago:

Chappelle gets it better than most. He was the most successful comedian in the world with one of the most popular TV shows of all-time. I still quote Chappelle’s Show 10+ years later even though it barely finished 2 seasons. He famously rejected a $50 Million deal from Comedy Central and moved to Africa so Chappelle knows a thing or two about being labeled crazy.

Enter Joe Rogan, who jumped in and offered Kanye a platform to discuss his ideas; nothing more nothing less.

As one of the most widely downloaded podcasts in the world, Kanye will be able to talk about whatever he wants and probably for as long as he wants since the majority of Rogan’s podcasts are anywhere from 2-4 hours. This could be a trainwreck for Kanye or it could provide some valuable context to the bizarre antics he’s becoming known for more than his music. Either way I will be listening to this the second it drops.