So through a friend of The 300s I somehow stumbled into field passes for the Patriots game yesterday and finally got to touch the sacred turf at Gillette. The same turf that Tom Brady has given me countless memories on over the years so it was a borderline religious experience.
You see all those 300s hats? That’s called branding guys. Marketing 101.
It was a beautiful monsoon-like day for a football game so naturally I had to stop at Marshalls on the way to Foxboro to pick up some waterproof pants like I was going gator hunting.
In a weird stat, Kirk Cousins threw for more yards warming up than he did in the actual game.
I thought jersey duos like this only existed on the internet, but alas I saw this couple up in the nosebleeds and it was glorious.
Check out the full breakdown below as we pretended to be part of the elite down at field level before going up into the 300s with the rest of our degenerate brethren.
*Insert over-used “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” reference here.* (Go ahead and even sing it in your head, if you want.)
FOOTBALL IS BACK, BABY!
The Patriots officially kicked off training camp in Foxborough today, and per usual there are plenty of storylines to get to.
But this year feels a little bit different. Instead of focusing on positional battles or guessing which player you’ll invest a high fantasy draft pick on only to see Belichick bury them on the bottom of the depth chart before the first leaves even change color (see: Dobson, Aaron; Gillislee, Mike; Ochocinco, Chad; Ridley, Stevan; Taylor, Fred), people seem to be much more concerned with how much “fun” the team is having, how “mean” Belichick really is, or why Tom Brady doesn’t eat tomatoes (no, but really, he doesn’t).
This entire offseason has felt like an episode of General Hospital, and I’m honestly done with all the soap opera bullshit. I’m just ready to watch some good action on the gridiron.
Here’s the first of a weekly series from The 300s focusing on actual football-related issues pertaining to Brady & Co. before Christmas finally arrives on Sunday, September 9:
Sexy Rexy vs. the New Kid: Who Ya Got?
The Pats surprised a lot of people in May when they selected former Georgia stud running back Sony Michel with the 31st pick in this year’s NFL draft.
Sure, Dion Lewis – who totaled over 1,100 yards from scrimmage and 10 touchdowns last season – had signed with the Titans two months before, but the team still had Rex Burkhead, James White, and Mike Gillislee, the last of whom people thought maybe (JUST MAYBE) could have a bounce-back season after the Pats signed him to a two-year, $6.4 million deal last summer. (OK, I know most people forgot Gillislee was even on the team, but let’s not forget that this was a guy who averaged just under six yards a carry and scored 12 total touchdowns from 2015-2016 as a backup to LeSean McCoy in Buffalo. He also had 98 carries for the Pats through the first eight weeks of last season before being banished to the bench for the rest of the year, save for six carries in Week 16 against Buffalo. He’s most likely going to be cut unless he has a monster camp, but he’s really not a bad player and should re-emerge somewhere throughout the league this season.)
Nevertheless, Belichick and McDaniels saw something in the 23-year-old Michel, who finally signed his rookie deal on Monday and looks primed for a feature role in the offense.
But wait a minute, Mattes, what about Burkhead – who had eight touchdowns in 10 games last season – and White – the loveable, reliable pass-catching specialist who got robbed of a Super Bowl MVP award against the Falcons two years ago? (Sorry, Tom, but White was absolutely the MVP of that Super Bowl. Period.)
First and foremost, White’s role is locked in, and regardless of whether or not the Pats took Michel this past spring, not much is set to change for him. He’s still going to get the bulk of the targets out of the backfield, finish with 50-70 catches, and serve as the emergency ball-carrier in the event Burkhead and/or Michel go down.
But what about Burkhead?
After signing with the team as a free agent last summer, Burkhead played in just 12.3% and 10.5% of the team’s offensive snaps, respectively, through the first two games of the season before sitting out the next four games due to injury. However, after returning against the Falcons in Week 7, Burkhead played in about a third of the team’s offensive snaps the rest of the way, ultimately becoming the team’s main goal-line back and secondary pass-catcher out of the backfield – before missing the team’s final two games of the season, again due to injury.
So while durability issues may be a bit of concern for Burkhead, there is no doubt that he is a true all-around threat at the running back position. And after re-signing with the team yet again this offseason, the coaching staff obviously plans to use him.
Sooooo where does that leave Michel?
Well, no team in their right mind is going to use a first-round pick on a running back only to have him ride the pine for the majority of his rookie season. We may see this happen with quarterbacks, even more so in recent years, but first-round picks are not spent on running backs unless the team believes they can handle the rock right away. Michel is going to get his.
Even with Burkhead in the fold last year, Lewis still received the lion’s share of the playing time in the backfield, averaging exactly 15 carries per game over the team’s final 10 contests. He also hauled in 25 catches over that same stretch.
There were also five instances last season where both Burkhead and Lewis each surpassed 50 total yards in the same game, demonstrating that the Pats, much like the vast majority of the NFL, are furthering the belief that the days of a bell-cow back are truly coming to an end. (OK, sorry, I see you Le’Veon Bell. You’re a freakin’ machine. OK??)
Also, while there is no doubt that Michel was an absolute FORCE to be reckoned with at the college level – 1,227 rushing yards, 17 total touchdowns, and an out-of-this-world 7.9 yards per carry average (WHAT??!!) last season – he was never truly a bell-cow back himself. Michel only exceeded 156 carries in a season one time in four seasons, and he actually shared a feature role in Georgia’s backfield for the past few years with fellow NFL rookie and Cleveland Browns second-round pick Nick Chubb. He also averaged just 16 receptions per year as a Bulldog, so he is no threat to White’s status either.
Now, I’m not trying to make it seem as though I’m not absolutely amped to see this kid play. (Again, he averaged SEVEN-POINT-EFFING-NINE YARDS PER CARRY last year against the toughest conference in the country.) I’m just saying that people need to temper expectations if they expect him to be the next Zeke Elliott or Leonard Fournette.
Editor’s note: AJ Green begs to differ:
It should also be noted that since 2004, only three guys – BenJarvus Green-Ellis (2010), Stevan Ridley (2012), and LeGarrette Blount (2016) – have toted the rock more than 200 times in a season for the Pats, and there’s no reason to expect that trend to change this season.
While it’s often an exercise in futility to try and predict exactly what Belichick and McDaniels are going to do in any scenario, I am still going to provide you with my completely meaningless 2018 stat prediction for the Pats three-headed monster at running back:
Rex Burkhead:141 carries; 544 yards; 42 catches; 382 yards; 10 total touchdowns
Sony Michel:192 carries; 839 yards; 11 catches; 45 yards; 7 total touchdowns
James White: 55 carries; 205 yards; 61 catches; 510 yards; 4 total touchdowns
All I know is, Belichick knows how to use running backs of all shapes, sizes, creeds, and colors; he’s proven it throughout his career. Not since the days of Clock Killin’ Corey Dillon has Bill invested his entire stock into one running back, and he both understands and appreciates the value of having multiple guys who can carry the load.
So no matter what happens, it’s nice to know the Pats shouldn’t be in dire straits without Lewis this season, and it’ll be fun to watch how it all shakes out.
Be sure to check in with The 300s next week for Part 2 of the series!
Of all the things that make me irrationally angry in this world, The fact that Dan “I’m a fucking asshat” Shaughnessy is SOMEHOW going to be beatified as a saint by the media when he one day dies is perhaps the most infuriating. Shank is a troll plain and simple. He is an amalgamation of the worst parts of old media and big J journalism and he delights in nothing more than writing bad stories that no one cares about while grinding whichever of his axe is the dullest that week.
Unfortunately for Mr. Shaughnessy at the turn of the millennium a new sheriff arrived in town that very simply put, was not going to put up with his shit, that was intellectually and creatively superior and who could, no matter what Shank did or said or wrote, make Boston’s worst columnist look like a child at any waking moment. To put it in terms I myself can understand better, Shaughnessy is any number of hapless, 155 pound subpar grapplers and Belichick is Khabib Nurmagomedov, just taking down, holding down, stifling, and making life absolutely miserable and humiliating for his broken opponent.
But what a weird fuckin fanbase we are for getting fired up for by this huh? While other teams have to wait for the first deep call completed in full pad drills to get stoked for the impending season, we just have to wait for our coach to verbally checkmate a jackass reporter within 3 moves.
In a game that had the fans frothing at the mouth, ready to pounce on the Chiefs, their fans and most of all Roger Goodell, the Patriots couldn’t get the job done and dropped their season opener 42-27. Second year Chiefs receiver Tyreek Hill was an absolute monster as was rookie RB Kareem Hunt who had his way with the Pats defense. The Patriots looked excelling out of the gate, scoring less than 3 minutes into the game. But an failed 4th down conversion on their next drive swung momentum, followed by an overturned Gronk touchdown, some key injuries to the Patriots, and then huge plays down the stretch by the KC skill players and all of that was enough to wipe out the 19-0 dream before I even had my first Shipyard pumpkin beer of the season. On to the highlights, the lowlights, and all the rest.
Highlights
Obviously dropping the 5th Super Bowl champs banner at Gillette was a glorious thing to see, albeit awkwardly brief and to the soundtrack of House of Pain, but despite a shitty loss ya can’t take that banner away.
Brandin Cooks looks to come as advertised, fast as all hell and he is going to be a problem for defenses all year. This guy is going to get legitimately 100 hundred PI calls this season.
Robert Kraft unveiling and rocking his own damn shoe, the RKK Air Force 1.
Alex Smith is only the second QB to EVER throw for 300+ yards and 4 TDs on a Belichick defense with the only other being Drew Brees in 2009. That game was also an absolute beatdown in New Orleans that I remember clear as day watching from my college newspaper editors meeting.
The Danny Amendola head injury was devastating because Malcolm Mitchell was put on IR just hours before the game so the Pats were down to just 3 wide receivers in their first game; Brandon Cooks, Chris Hogan, and Philip Dorsett. Amendola is nails, but he needs to be managed because he does get hurt a lot. So naturally the Patriots ran him into the ground, return punts, and take absolute buddy passes over the middle from Brady. Huge loss as he put up a sneaky line of 6 catches for 100 yards before exiting the game. Hopefully he’s not out long because this team needs him right now.
The Dont’a Hightower injury could legitimately wreck the season for a team already dangerously thing in the front seven. Hightower got rolled up on by a lineman in the 3rd quarter and missed the rest of the game. He went into the medical tent and could later be seen riding the stationary bike with a hot pack on his knee, which I don’t know what to make of, but certainly looked like an MCL injury. If he is out for an extended period of time then the defense is really in trouble. Update: PFT is reporting its just a “minor” MCL sprain.
The Pats newest addition to the defense Cassius Marsh got a crash course in how to not cover a runningback out of the backfield as he got smoked for a 74-yard TD reception by Kareem Hunt. To be fair, Marsh was more of a defensive end than a coverage linebacker during his time in Seattle, but still not a great look. Especially not when you have your whole face painted like a goddamn juggalo.
The one thing that does concern me is with Julian Edelman out for the season and a brand new shiny toy in burner Brandon Cooks is that I hope Brady doesn’t try and force too many deep balls each game. Thats exactly what the Patriots were doing in the 4th quarter last night. Obviously they needed two scores to win the game at that point, but just forcing seam routes is never a great option. Gave me cold sweats as it was reminiscent of the end of Super Bowl XLII when Brady was just hucking 40 yard bombs in vain to Randy Moss.
Marcus Cannon getting smoked by Justin Houston was like seeing an old high school friend after years. Not exactly a great thing to see, but its exactly how you remember it.
Rob Gronkowski was getting flanked by one of the best safeties in the league last night in Eric Berry (who may have unfortunately torn his achilles), but as the best TE in the league you gotta make something happen. I thought he did just that on his would be TD catch, but the refs disagreed and overturned the call saying it touched the turf. Huge break for the Chiefs that helped turn the momentum of the game.
Kicking a FG on 4th and inches. Especially after going for it on 4th and 1 earlier (and failing). It was very un-Patriots like, but maybe Bill just knew he wasn’t going to get through that D-line last night as they later got stuffed on another 4th down conversion attempt.
Kareem Hunt setting the goddamn record for most yards from scrimmage for a rookie in his first game. After fumbling on his first career carry, the Spencer Ware backup exploded for 148 yards rushing and 1 TD on the ground with 5 catches for 98 yards and another 2 TDs. Savvy fantasy owners everywhere rejoice.
How about Marky Mark being unable to not promote something for 5 fucking minutes? Wahlberg was wearing some branded t-shirt that just seemed so cheesy. My man, just throw on a TB12 jersey for me one time.
Mike Gillislee looked great, rushing for 3 touchdowns, but it was definitely disappointing to see him get stuffed on 4th and short on two separate occasions. For our goal line guy, you gotta have those.
It looked like the Patriots weren’t exactly dying to have Tom Brady smash his head into a wall in Week 1 as they decided against the QB sneak on 4th and inches. Instead electing to go with Gillislee again, who got stuffed. Very odd to see because Brady is essentially automatic from that spot.
The Pats special teams unit frustratingly (and hilariously) refusing to not absolutely smoke the Chiefs punter. Thankfully it was a long 4th down conversion as the Pats ran into the kicker on two consecutive plays to earn a 5 yard penalty each time. Almost seemed intentional, maybe they just don’t like the guy.
Now I gotta listen to shit like this all over again.
No, no he’s not. Lets give him more than one game with a new offensive scheme and see how things go. Brady was far from great last night going 16/36 for 267 yards with 0 TD’s, but if anything I’m putting this L on the defense.
So whats the silver lining?
Its one bad game. This same exact thing happened two years ago against the same exact team and everyone was more than happy to dance on the Patriots graves.
Then what happened? The Pats came back and anihilated the Bengals and then went on to win the Super Bowl. So lets all pump the breaks. Bad games aren’t concerning. Trends are concerning. So if they get trounced next week by the Saints, then we can talk.
247 Sports – Vince Wilfork will not be in New England for his retirement tailgate. The former Patriots nose tackled retired from the NFL earlier this offseason and in his announcement teased a big tailgate party in the Gillette Stadium parking lot as he partnered up with Kingsford to send off his career in the league. However, Wilfork announced on social media that he’ll no longer be in the region for the tailgate or the opener as he’s elected to stay in Houston to help those impacted by Hurricane Harvey. “It’s one of those things when Mother Nature calls, it calls,” he said in a video expressing his desire to help.
I was so damn excited for Vince Wilfork’s retirement BBQ tailgate party. It looked like it was gonna be a blast with the big man grilling and smoking meats with the best of em before the Pats start their Super Bowl defense.
But in true Big Vince fashion, Wilfork knew he could do more good by helping out down in Texas after that sonofabitch Harvey did its best to smash Houston.
Vince Wilfork will not be in New England for his official retirement tailgate; staying back in Houston to help those affected by Harvey.
LETS GOOO. LETS GOOO. Your Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots are back tonight after 7 months without football. Tonight they’re gonna light the biggest fire the north has ever seen.
The last time we saw this team they were lifting the Lombardi Trophy after completing the greatest comeback in NFL history and giving Roger Goodell and the league a gigantic middle finger. As Robert Kraft once said, this one is unequivocally the sweetest.
The Pats had to literally redesign the goddamn stadium to make room for Super Bowl Champs banner No. 5. That is preposterous and tonight we get to see Tom Brady and the boys drop another banner on the rest of the NFL.
It sucks that we lost Julian Edelman for the year with a knee injury, but this team is still stacked. We’ve got Gronk back, added Brandon Cooks, and brought in Rex Burkhead and Mike Gillislee. Another year in the system for Chris Hogan and Malcolm Mitchell. Dion Lewis, Danny Amendola, Dont’a Hightower, Malcolm Butler, Devin McCourty, Stephon Gilmore, GET OFF THE TRACKS BECAUSE THE TRAIN IS LEAVING THE STATION.
Boston.com – The Patriots quarterback insists that he is “never sore,” despite fending off hits from the defense and sometimes even blocking pads to the face from head coach Bill Belichick. “I could practice every day,” he said. “I could practice twice a day if they’d let us do that, but that’s not the way it goes anymore. It’s just fun being out here competing.”Brady’s recovery regimen, which includes his line of Under Armour sleepwear, will be one of the featured topics in his upcoming book, The TB12 Method: How to Achieve a Lifetime of Sustained Peak Performance.
A friend of mine said to me last night over a couple of exclusive craft beers known as Rolling Rocks about Tom Brady that “He is fully going to get busted for PEDs” and a cold shiver went down my spine as I laughed it off.
I mean I want to believe that a Plant Based Diet Presented by TB12 is the one true reason for Tom Brady’s success, but who the hell knows. Maybe its the food, maybe its the avocado ice cream, or the concussion water, the plyometrics work or the TB12 space pajamas. Its probably some combination of all the wacky shit Brady does to keep his body in optimal condition. Or maybe, maybe its something really cool that I don’t even know about.
That or he’s just a legitimate android sent back in time to wreak havoc on the NFL for reasons we cannot yet understand.
Either way, I for one welcome our new robotic overlords and will enjoy the shit out of this guy who should be in an over 40 beer league who somehow continues to play at an MVP level and dominate a league filled with guys half his age.
You’re goddamn right I squeezed a Simpsons reference in there somehow. Gotta keep grinding every day.
With the Patriots season just a couple of weeks away, so too is the Super Bowl Champions banner unveiling. Only problem is, theres no more room at Gillette for any more banners. This is such a amazingly arrogant problem to have I love it. “So when we built this stadium we didn’t anticipate having nearly half a dozen Super Bowl banners just 15 years later.” If you remember the layout of the 4x Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots banners it looked like this.
Needless to say a very arousing photograph with a whole bunch of Super Bowl Champions banners. But alas, there is no room for the newly minted 5th SB Champs banner. And I would rather burn the place down then put it where that ill advised 16-0 banner used to sit.
So how do you solve the best problem to have in the NFL? You literally redesign the entire goddamn thing to MAKE room for the 5th banner (as well as a couple more).
I thank the good lord every day he made me a Patriots fan. See you guys in Minneapolis.
So apparently the Patriots are celebrating Tom Brady’s 40th birthday today by trotting out a mini heard of goats rocking TB12 jerseys. Because what else do you get the man that has everything?
I’m told there will be 5 live 🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐wearing Tom Brady jerseys here @Patriots practice today in celebration of Brady’s 40th birthday.
But more importantly, if you’re anything like me and my friends, you’ve obsessively watched every single Tom Brady documentary there is, but most of all The Brady 6. One of the funniest lines of that entire documentary is the gigantic FUCK YOU that ESPN gives to that scrub Giovanni Carmazzi, who the 49ers took over Brady. “……he has five goats.”
And now years later, on his 40th birthday, after his 5th Super Bowl championship, Tom Brady also has 5 goats.
Hilarious. The team hasn’t even been in LA for a week and the new guy in charge just called them the wrong city. Rough first presser for Anthony Lynn. Thats what ya get for moving 2 hours south, Chargers! You’re basically the same exact thing to anyone not from California. That’s a reasonable game day tailgate commute. Takes me 2 hours to get home from a Patriots game and I live in Boston. But I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t post this classic clip from BASEketball because it is the same EXACT situation. Trey Parker and Matt Stone predicting the future from 19 years ago, who would’ve guessed.
The 300s 