Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.
Game of Thrones memes have always been around as they have for any pop culture sensation, but I feel like they have gone into overdrive for Season 8. Every week there seems to be 50 new and hilarious memes for each episode. So I figured it was only right to launch The 300s Game of Thrones Meme of the Week Award.
The winning meme for Episode 3 has to go to the one below because Arya was the hands down MVP of the Battle of Winterfell. Do. Your. Job.
Honorable Mentions
“That’s a bad shot. I don’t care what anybody says. That’s a bad shot. But hey, she made it. That story will be told. It was a bad shot. You live with that.” pic.twitter.com/6ALPm6UitO
Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.
In what was one of the most anticipated episodes in TV history, Game of Thrones finally unveiled the “Longest Consecutive Battle Sequence Ever Committed to Film” with S8E3 “The Long Night” AKA The Battle of Winterfell. Similar to Season 6’s “Battle of the Bastards,” this was a military operation through and through. (This episode was directed by Miguel Sapochnik, who also directed “Hardhome” and “Battle of the Bastards”)We got less of individual heroics and more of armies legitimately going to war with hordes of people and wights (temporarily at least) getting slaughtered. It was violent, it was dark, and it was hectic. I’ve heard some complaints about this episode and to be completely honest I need to rewatch it to fully digest everything that happened in the episode’s 82 minutes. Needless to say the internet is divided; the NY Times says the episode “exceeded expectations” while USA Today complained about the cinematography calling it “too dark.”
It was the longest episode in Thrones history and it was packed with action so my feelings below are subject to change after I’ve had a little more time to sit with it. With that being said, lets break down the biggest storylines from S8E3:
For the Night is Dark and Full of Terrors. Mainly Dark Though.
I’m not going to spend too much time on this because I understand it was done intentionally for affect, but one of the first things I said at the start of the episode was this is difficult to see. And that was while I was watching from an almost completely dark room. So I get the thinking, but thank christ for the dragons and Melisandre adding some light to this episode or I wouldn’t be sure what actually happened.
House Mormont Goes Up in Dust
Lyanna Mormont goes out like a G and takes down a wight giant while weighing all of 95 pounds. She really did prove that “every man from Bear Island fights with the strength of ten mainlanders.” RIP Lyanna.
I do have a bone to pick with the way we handled my man Jorah Mormont’s last moments though. We all knew Jorah was not long for this world. He is the archetype of the aging knight who will die to protect his queen. The musical montage of Jorah fighting off wights left me wanting more though. Maybe its because I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Jorah. Maybe its because I am dead inside after having just watched Avengers Endgame right before this episode, but it seemed to be lacking. Maybe a line or two of heartfelt dialogue would have tied things up a bit more for me. RIP to Jorah Mormont one of the realest to ever take the screen and a character we’ll all remember forever.
The Dragon Battle in the Clouds?
This was tough to follow, but for people complaining about it; thats the point. It was supposed to be disorienting, hard to see, and anxiety inducing. If the Night King is just flying around in plain sight then 2 dragons>1 dragon every day of the week, so it shouldn’t be a surprise he was trying to level the playing field with outside factors. With that being said it was definitely tough to follow and at the end of the scene I wasn’t entirely sure what had just transpired, but dragon on dragon action is always sweet. For having a dragon for about a week, the Night King knew how to fly that thing 100x better than the Dragon Queen though and thats a fact.
Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon (or the Night King)
As I predicted in my recap of Episode 2 last week, we saw that the fire of a dragon cannot kill a White Walker. In fact it can’t do shit to them, at least not to the Night King who took a flamethrowing Dracarys blast to the face and came out grinning. It was really quite jarring and one of the most underrated scenes of the episode, one that I think people are forgetting. Thats exactly why I am telling people to back and watch this episode a second time before deciding whether you loved or hated it.
Khaleesi used dragon fire. Its not very effective.
Valyrian Steel though?
The Night King Gets Got
As my fellow blogger Giorgio put it; “8 seasons for the Night King to make it to the Westeros equivalent of Nashua.” Dude didn’t even sniff the Iron Throne.
Credit to @BuckeyeMike23
Apologies to everyone who bought the Night King Iron Throne pop figures already.
Arya has now solidified her role as the MVP of Game of Thrones. She had a slow season as the show meandered a bit with her story arc in Bravos, but it paid off big time. She has become THE most lethal character in Thrones history. She legitimately snuck up on a gaggle of White Walkers and almost knifed the Night King before he could even turn around. In what looked like yet another suicide mission, turned into one of the most stunning moments in recent Thrones history when she dropped her dagger and stabbed the Night King in effortless fashion. Arya has been working on this move for years and in fact is a direct call back to her sparring session with Brienne of Tarth in Season 7.
Incredible scene. We’ll get to what this all means for the overarching story in a moment, but holy hell Arya has skyrocketed up the Thrones Power Rankings.
Jon Snow Nearly Meets His End Again
I have to give props to the Night King for not falling to pride like we’ve seen Jon Snow and the realms of men do time and time again. Pride is a sin of men so it made sense for him to make the cold, calculated decision to rise the dead yet again rather than try and take on the greatest warrior in the Seven Kingdoms in a sword fight dick measuring contest.
Jon also nearly gets lit up by the Ice Dragon and essentially decides to give himself up and go out in a blaze of blue firey glory.
And what do we say to death?
Jon the last 3 seasons: Please be today. I’m begging you to make it today. Why isn’t it today? I really want it to be today. pic.twitter.com/FLGNgp3Aoa
— Beyonce has an uncle named Larry Beyince. Bruh…. (@DragonflyJonez) April 29, 2019
For a second I thought we might see Jon Targaryen showing his immunity to fire like a true Targaryen, but the Mrs. pointed out something critical. Way back in Season 1 when Jon saves Lord Commander Mormont from the wight, he grabs the lantern and burns his hand before throwing it at the undead creature.
A direct contrast to when Khaleesi, a full blooded Targaryen, grabs the dragon eggs off the hot coals and is uninjured.
WTF Was Bran Doing?
I understand that he is a cripple in a wheelchair so theres not much he can really do in terms of fighting, but he was particularly useless in this episode. Bran spends 45 minutes basically just worging around Winterfell to get a bird’s eye view of the action, while offering nothing in terms of actual help to anyone. I feel like there is something more still lingering in terms of what Bran is there to offer the story, but I can’t put my finger on it. At least we can dispense with the moronic “Bran is the Night King” theories finally. Right?
Melisandre and Beric Dondarrion Fulfill Their Purpose for the Lord of Light
In what was one of the most intriguing storylines in show history, the red priestess fully redeemed herself with a comeback for the ages saving the day with some incredible fire spells. You have to believe that Melisandre went back to Essos specifically to train at the temple of the Lord of Light. Now that she has fulfilled her purpose and died “in this strange country” we’ll probably never get a clear answer. Melissandra coming out of left field to light up the Dothraki’s swords and then the spiked trenches was an all time Thrones moment though. Thats before we even mention the pep talk for the ages that she gave Arya though.
I won’t insult anyone’s intelligence by pointing out the source of Melisandre’s quote about death though. If you have to ask you don’t deserve to know. It really is crazy to look back on Melisandre’s storyline though; she’s been with Stannis, and of course when she first meant Arya back in Season 2 with the Brotherhood Without Banners.
Incredible.
Then we have Beric fulfilling his destiny and saving Arya’s life which obviously allows her to take out the Night King. It was some sick poetic justice though as Beric has been asked multiple times why the Lord of Light keeps bringing him back and he always answers, I don’t know. So for him to sacrifice himself to save Arya while on his 7th life was a valiant and fulfilling way for Beric to go.
Sam Gets Another Brother of the Nights Watch Killed in Edd
Jesus christ, Sam. Tarly better have another redeeming moment because he ignored everyone’s advice to stay off the battle field and when he couldn’t fight and need to be saved, which we all knew he would, Edd gets a knife in the face for saving Samwell yet again.
Khaleesi Gets Another Dragon Killed
Correction: The dragon is not dead, he can actually be seen in the preview for S8E4, which I missed in my post Avengers/post Thrones delirium. Carry on.
Khaleesi has to be the worst caretaker of Dragons to ever walk the Seven Kingdoms. And thats saying something considering her ancestors used to chain dragons up until they wasted away. What did she think was going to happen landing the dragon in a field of mindless, savage zombies? Well exactly what we all expected did happen and Khaleesi is down another dragon leaving her with only one. I think I get more emotional when a dragon or direwolf dies than any other human character does, but then again I am a total schill for animals.
RIP Theon
Theon goes out with honor and pays the iron price once and for all. Protecting Bran in the godswood was a suicide mission and everyone knew it. Kudos to Bran for having his first human moment in 2+ seasons and telling Theon the only thing he’s wanted to hear since he confided in Maester Luwin while wracked with guilt after taking Winterfell; “You’re a good person.” He killed dozens of wights to protect Bran while he worged around to essentially watch the action with a bird’s eye view and offer little in the way of actual help. After a lot of really cowardly moments over the past few seasons, Theon went out like a warrior trying to take down the Night King himself.
On the Lookout for the Fake Out
Maybe I’ve just become too used to the George RR Martin misdirection shock and awe storylines, but I refuse to believe this is the end of the story. I know the showrunners David Benioff and DB Weiss have veered off from Martin’s original source material a bit as they have passed the books, but he obviously has still given them the roadmap of how to get to his intended ending. So I just refuse to believe we’ve built up the Night King for 8 years only to have them go out just before the end of the story only to leave us with a battle for the crown. Maybe that was his goal the entire time? To truly have it all come back to a literal Game of Thrones? I don’t know, but I said it last week and I’ll say it again, if they kill the Night King and the remaining episodes are just a battle for the Iron Throne I will be a bit disappointed. Theres plenty of story left to wrap up still, but it seems like a missed opportunity not to mention a world of confusion to just let the White Walker storyline fade into dust like a Thanos snap. So I am on full alert on the lookout for the fake out. Whether it’s something as it relates to Bran, maybe the Children of the Forest make a comeback or maybe it’s not the last we’ve seen of the White Walkers. We’ll see next week, but its getting real now…theres only three Game of Thrones episodes left. Ever.
Blogger’s Note: This probably containers spoliers/implied knowledge of things that happened through S8E2 of “Game Of Thrones”. So, if you have not caught up or just generally don’t like reading predictions I’d stop here. I will say I did my best to avoid using anyone else’s prediction or outside knowledge (the books, interviews with show execs) of the show.
As I start writing this it dawned on me that it is kind of ironic that this fight is now happening, as Jon Snow has been to an almost annoying degree shouting from the rooftops it would, before the battle for the Seven Kingdoms. We spent so much time caring about the deft political maneuvering and violent means to political ends in this show we almost forgot about the army of the dead. As a matter of fact, we were so consumed with what the final outcome of the war for control of the realm, we probably did forget at times.
But here we are. The battle of Man vs. The Dead. Good Vs. Evil. And things don’t look so great, as we knew they didn’t. To reference a hero from a different classic of the fantasy genre, much like Harry Potter knew for a long time he had to die to kill Voldemort, we’ve known for awhile that many of the characters we’ve come to love would die in the war against the dead. It’s just how it was to be.
This is “Game Of Thrones” though. Predicting who is going to die when and why and how has always been about as easy as predicting which way a chicken will run after its head gets chopped off. I think we’ve learned a little though – there have been nuances, signs, and lines we’ve been trained to pick up on. For some audience members, there have been gut feelings they’ve been trained to either carefully listen to or harshly ignore.
Without any further fanfare, here are my predictions for the fate of many of our favorite characters. I’ve organized them into the following categories of post-Battle Of Winterfell status:
Definitely Dead
Probably Dead
I Have No Fucking Idea
Probably Alive
Definitely Alive
Now I know a philosopher would question the difference between the two “probably” categories”, but the difference is easy: I have an inkling either way. A feeling. Something deep down that is telling me either that that character is as good as dead or has a few more breaths to take.
Definitely Dead
Jamie Lannister – The show’s incestual first true villain gets to die a hero. I mean, he has one hand that he still can’t fight for shit with. This will probably play into Cersei saying the baby is Euron’s.
Theon Greyjoy – Like Jamie, Theon finds his redemption in death. Out in the woods guarding Bran, Theon’s newfound bravery will allow him to go out on his shield. One of the more complicated legacies the show leaves behind.
Edd – Other than Samwell Tarly, Edd is Jon Snow’s last remaining Night’s Watch brother who is given any recognition/a speaking part. It sucks he survived the attack on Castle Black for this but I don’t see him going any further.
Beric Dondarrion – With his last life used up thanks to Thoros of Myr dying, it’s curtains for Beric. Him and his flaming sword will give it a ride and it will unfortunately run out of gas,
Bran – Soooo this is an odd one because can Bran reallllyyyy die? Is he totally a mortal? He’s kind of half-man hald-Giver who answers questions likes he’s a teenager on mushrooms being questioned by a cop. So idk if “dies” if quite the word but Bran’s shit is getting fucked up.
Probably Dead
Ser Davos Seaworth – He’s notably noted that he’s notably bad at fighting 100 times. There is also just not much use left in the plot for the Onion Knight. The only reason I didn’t sail Davis past the “probably” and “definitely” section and straight to “I’m flying to Winterfell and killing him myself to put him out of his misery” is because the show has inexplicably kept him alive this long.
Sansa Stark – I just can’t see the showrunners deciding to throw this party and not give us one true, blue heartbreak. Sansa would be a huge one. The whole “the dead are coming but you’ll be totally safe hiding amongst a bunch of dead people” thing doesn’t help her chances. I could say the same for a few more but I have a feeling about Sansa.
Jorah Mormont – Another tough pill to swallow. Is cured of the incurable just to die this way. In an odd sense, his death is similar to Jamie/Theon in that he has definitely redeemed himself by giving his life, but IMO he’s redeemed by now anyway.
I Have No Fucking Idea
Arya – Arya’s whole storyline, if you think about it, does little for the plot. However for some reason I think the show keeps her and her still lengthy list in play for reasons I’ll get to later.
Tormund – Like Davos, there aren’t a ton of reasons they’ve kept him around this long except for comic relief. I could see this going either way, especially, like Arya, if another key character makes it. More on that later.
Varys – Yo where is he?
Ser Brienne Of Tarth – This one I’m the most unsure of in this category (not overall….). The amount of times she’s pledged her life to the Stark girls makes me think she bites it, but the fact that I’m not sure both/either/or die makes me wonder.
Tyrion – The loss of Tyrion would absolutely fucking suck. He has been the breakout character of the whole show. But in terms of those heartbreakers I mentioned before, this is another one I’m not convinced they don’t have up their sleeves. He also made a cryptic to comment to Jorah and I thinnnnnk Greyworm(?) about taking his job soon? At the same time, I thinkhis wit just might be too important to kill off.
Probably Alive
Jon Snow – It would seem unlikely that they’d kill him right after revealing his lineage, but in the past this show has taken “unlikely”, popped a few viagra into it, and fucked us with it. He could also play into the same reasons as Arya and Tormund that I mentioned I’ll get into later. I’m just not ruling Jon dying out completely.
The Hound – This is nothing but pure instinct. As I write this I now see him getting ripped to shreds a la Hodor but I’m sticking with my gut. They’ve kept him alive, time after time, for a reason and unlike poor Davos he can actually fight.
Samwell Tarly – Another gut pick but I think Sam serves one more purpose at some point, using his knowledge and bookishness.
Greyworm – Between Jorah and Greyworm, I feel like one has to live, for reasons below. I’ll go with Greyworm. I’m saying it now I’m least sure of this pick out of all of them.
Definitely Alive
Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen,First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea,Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons – Here’s the thing folks. This is episode three. There are six episodes total. EVEN IF this battle carries into episode four there are two + episodes left for a showdown with Cersei Lannister. So Man, as in Mankind….kind of has to win? Unless there is a complete and utter curveball where the dead wipe out the North and the rest of the show is White Walkers vs. Cersei? Anddd let me tell you the spinoff “Cersei” would be about as interesting and would work about as well as “Joey”. This directly relates to Jon, Arya, and Tormund and whether or not they live or die, as I alluded to above. If indeed mankind triumphs, why not keep Arya in the mix and try and cross a couple more names off her list when she makes it down south? Why not let the lovers/Aunt and Nephew go together? If Jon is still around he’ll need the Wildling army and to have that he needs Tormund’s influence. The fates of all those folks are intertwined.
That was emotional, I’m not going to lie. I have a buddy who is an actuary and I kind of feel like him right now. Hedging whether or not folks bite the bullet or not. But this is “Game Of Thrones”. This is what we signed up for. Valar Morghulis.
Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.
Game of Thrones memes have always been around as they have for any pop culture sensation, but I feel like they have gone into overdrive for Season 8. Every week there seems to be 50 new and hilarious memes for each episode. So I figured it was only right to launch The 300s Game of Thrones Meme of the Week Award. The winning meme for Episode 2 has to go to the one below because it combines two of my favorite shows of all time in a perfect example of a deep cut.
Unless you’ve watched 7+ years of Thrones and five seasons of The Simpsons this ain’t for you.
Obvious Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t caught up on Season 8 of Thrones yet come back later.
With only four episodes remaining in Game of Thrones I’m already starting to feel a twinge of sadness. This is my favorite show of all time, which I’ve invested hundreds of hours of my life into and in a month it’ll all be over. After that I don’t think TV will ever be the same. So with that being said, enjoy the final month of Westeros because when it’s over you’ll miss it. Now I’ll get into full on fanboy mode in a minute, but just so I don’t get accused of being a blindly loyal fan I want to touch on a couple of negatives. The biggest complaint I’ve heard about Game of Thrones’ final season thus far is that the first two episodes have been dull set up and full of fan service that rely on scenes of characters learning info that viewers already knew in some cases for years.
I’ve enjoyed the first two episodes, but I am a bit uneasy with 1/3 of the final season being devoted to setting the table and catching up with friends. I’m sure we’ll all look back and miss these moments when the final 4 episodes are just pure carnage leaving me an emotional wreck.
The one complaint I’ve had since the showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss diverged from George R.R. Martin’s books (because he can’t finish the damn things) is that the writing has become a bit more predictable. Maybe it’s because I’ve watched the entire show through 7 or 8 times, but I feel like I am hyper aware of the foreshadowing the writers drop in dialogue. Rarely does a line slip by in conversation like it would have in earlier seasons. After the Red Wedding we were all shocked, but rewatching the episodes prior to that you see little bread crumbs that Martin was dropping the entire time and you can’t believe you missed it. In seasons 7 and 8 when anything major happens I find myself immediately thinking well yea that makes sense because so and so directly alluded to that a couple of episodes ago.
Khaleesi is bordering on annoying in season 8 and I feel like its been so blatant that the showrunners are doing it intentionally. Similar to what I just wrote in the paragraph above, it sticks out to me a bit more when a character is really leaning into a plot line heavier than usual because it usually means the writers are trying to throw you off the scent (redemption, betrayal, upcoming death). Khaleesi has acted like an uninformed power hungry ruler at best and a catty new girlfriend bickering with her boyfriend’s sister at worse. Its completely understandable for a normal person to be irritated with how things have played out for Dany with the North giving her whole team the cold shoulder. But that would be for a normal person, Dany is not normal. She has been bought and sold, raped, imprisoned, abused and underestimated at every turn. She’s one of the most cunning, ruthless, yet caring characters in the entire show. So for the showrunners to have her fuming because Jon’s sister didn’t initially like her, the North didn’t initially thank her, and to blame Tyrion for trusting Cersei (as did she) comes off hollow. Khaleesi would have expected all of these things so to have her lashing out at Tyrion and Sansa and Jon just seems odd, which is why I expect a total 180 out of her in the next 4 episodes. Just smoking wights with her dragon, saving lives, and being the leader that she’s been built up as for the last 7 seasons.
Now lets break down some of the biggest plot lines from S8E2. LETS GO
Jaime returns to Winterfell
It’s the first time he’s been back since he kicked Bran out of a window in the pilot all those years ago starting this whole series of events. Another one liner from Bran reminds us that nobody in that room knows how Bran fell except for him and Jaime: “The things I do for love.” Thats what Jaime said right before he tossed Bran from the empty tower. Catlyn and Robb Stark knew, or at least suspected, but nobody else in that room was there for those conversations. Theon might actually know as well from his time on King Robb’s war council in Season 2, but he doesn’t arrive until later.
Again Khaleesi acts out of character seeming like she cannot wait to behead the man that killed her father, despite knowing the horrible things her father had done and planned to do to the thousands of innocent lives at Kings Landing. She shuts down Tyrion’s defense because of a clear conflict of interest, so it takes some serious character witness testimony from Brienne of Tarth to convince Sansa and save Jaime’s life. Moral of the story is we’ve all done some shit, but we need to band together if we’re to survive the night.
Jon reveals his true identity to Khaleesi
This probablyyyy could have been handled with a little more tact, but as the showrunners said in the Ep 1 Inside the Episode, Jon’s not the fastest on the uptake. Never one to really play politics Jon just basically blurts out the biggest secret in the history of Westeros and Khaleesi is understandably a little skeptical. The past couple of seasons have also given us a bit more humor as well, or maybe it’s just my dry sense of humor, but Khaleesi’s response to the bombshell news made me laugh out loud: “Oh your brother and your best friend told you that you’re the real king? Thats convenient.”
Bran finally provides some sort of motivation for the Night King
It’s been 7+ seasons and we still hadn’t received any real motivation for the Night King or the White Walkers. We know how the White Walkers were created, we know why they were created, but aside from the war with the First Men and the Children of the Forest thousands of years ago we don’t really know why the Night King is coming back or what he wants. Faceless and motivation-less villains are fine to a certain extent, but when you’re this close to the end and we still don’t know what the big baddy wants? Not ideal. Well Bran finally provided a glimmer of info in between his fragment sentences and hints of clues like he’s the goddamn Riddler. The Night King is coming for Bran because he is the Three Eye Raven. If he can kill Bran then he can erase all of mankind’s memories and history and create a Long Night. As Sam opines, without memories to look back on, mankind never really existed at all did they?
Bran also threw some cold water on the Dragons>Night King expectations
It may have just been a throwaway line, but Thrones so rarely wastes words that this stuck out to me. Someone says “well won’t a dragon kill the Night King?” Bran aka the Three Eyed Raven says “I don’t know. No one’s ever tried.”
Lyanna Mormont still takes no shit
Sneaky one of my favorite characters in the show as a girl who might be all of 12 just spitting venom in the faces of the most powerful and well respected leaders in all the world. Also when Jorah tells her to hang out in the crypt away from the upcoming battle, the little lady from House Mormont basically tells Jorah to go piss up a rope. As Lyanna once said, every man or woman on Bear Island is worth 10 men from the mainland when it comes to fighting. We’re about to see.
The drinking circle and the knighting of Brienne
A very emotional and potentially foreboding scene. We see some of our favorite characters all together for the first time. As the showrunners said on the Ep 1 Inside the Episode, it’s easy to forget how much these scenes really mean because we as fans have been with these characters all the time for years, but these characters haven’t seen each other since season 1 in some cases. A fair criticism has been that his is all pure fan service and does nothing to further the plot. While I understand the criticism, I thought it was a great episode and was probably a goodbye for a lot of characters.
Sansa and Theon reunion
Not gonna lie, this one got me. It was a bit dusty in The 300s HQ watching Theon ask to fight for Winterfell and Sansa running over to hug him. Theon has done some terrible shit and he has paid some horrific consequences so to see him climbing up the redemption ranks was pretty emotional.
The Arya-Gendry sex scene
Look, I know its on everyone’s minds so lets just get on with it. This was probably the one moment that set twitter on fire more than anything else that happened in Episode 2. I get it, it’s weird because we basically watched this girl grow up over the past 7+ seasons. But we’re going to be cool with incest and slavery and whore houses, but we draw the line at this? Grow up Count Chocula.
Also, Arya is going to WRECK some wights with that dragonglass spear.
Tormund remains the MVP of GoT
Last week he stole the episode when he ran into the Night’s Watch in Last Hearth and Edd shouts out “Look out he’s got blue eyes” to which Tormund hilariously replies “I’ve always had blue eyes!” Well he remained the MVP of the show with another A+ quip about the love of his life, Brienne. As I sit here writing this though I start to worry about Tormund’s longevity. Despite the lack of returned affection from Brienne I could see Tormund sacrificing himself to try and save the big woman’s life. I might cry next Sunday.
Episode 3 is going to wreck me I can just feel it.
We spend most of Episode 2 preparing for the Battle of Winterfell as everyone is training, setting up defenses and traps, drinking, and even singing. It is the calm before the storm in the most literal sense. I wouldn’t be shocked to see Brienne, Grey Worm, and Jorah all bite the bullet next week. Brienne has finally become a knight, the thing she has wanted more than anything, so it would not be unlike Thrones to now axe her. Grey Worm’s talk of a future life with Messandei all but guarantees that will never come to fruition. Before the episode Jorah was my pick to be the emotional first killing, but then Sam gives him a vaunted Valyrian Steel sword and I figured that may buy him some more time. However, looking back on that conversation with his cousin Lyana about the future of their house, I feel a heroic sacrifice coming from Jorah to save the fiery young lady’s life.
I can feel a real sense of dread in the air with Thrones fans. We’ve all been yelling for more action and more Dragon on Ice Dragon crime, but we’re going to lose some beloved characters next Sunday and I don’t know if I’m emotionally equipped to deal with that. We’re in the homestretch now as Episode 3 will be “the biggest battle in the history of TV and film.”
As everyone except those living a Ted Kaczynski-esque existence in the northern frontier of our nation knows, “Game Of Thrones” returns this Sunday for its 8th season. As most of those people understand, this will also be the final season and, indeed, the end of an era. The $50 million dollar gamble (which sounds cheap compared to later seasons) almost immediately cemented itself in the upper echelons of pop culture, becoming as well know for driving plot lines with not exactly relatable subjects such as incest, witchcraft, and castration as it has for weaving one of the most magnetic stories television has ever seen over the course of almost a decade.
While the dragons soared, the battles fought, and the bastards brooded, the latest classic delivered by the Home Box Office (“The Wire,” “The Sopranos,” GOT this is getting ridiculous) produced, as their shows tend to do, some absolutely classic characters. Ones you can quote. Ones you want to have a beer with. Ones you want to beat the ever loving shit out of. Characters that just evoke intense, human reactions and emotions from the millions upon millions of people that have watched the show.
So I’ve decided to give you a Top 5. The top 5 best characters. Now, you are not getting a surface-level “most screen time,” “who drives the story the most?” list here. No, while things like how much they are are actually on the show were accounted for, I really wanted to dive deep into these characters’ Id. Of the endless faces and names (for sure not the same count, after all) we have seen since 2011, I wanted to deduce who really reeled us in to their mind, body, and soul the most. Who made us sit up whenever they went to give a monologue? Who did we realize in our borderline-insane attempt at a six week re-watch was as indispensable as the Wall?
With the help of a few of my fellow bloggers I set out to answer those questions and more. Enjoy.
Honorable Mentions Tormund Gianstsbane Blogger Note: I hate to not rank Tormund, both because I love the character and Dom helped me out with the blog. But I just couldn’t justify a top 5 spot. Every man has a code. Dom: “Gotta love Tormund Giantsbane. In addition to being a brute and a warrior, he’s also one of those guys who can actually tell the difference between good and evil. On top of that, he’s fucking hilarious. From creepy side eyes at Brienne to life advice for Jon Snow to this amazing conversation with the Hound, he’s pure gold all the time.”
Missandei and Greyworm The realms true “couple goals” culminated in what I can only imagine was some voracious foreplay, judging by Khaleesi and Missandei’s giggling fit. Either way, the bond these two have coming from broken backgrounds and ending up at the side of the most powerful woman in their world is pretty special. Every time they interact they seem like they aren’t expecting to see each other ever again and it is both heartbreaking and endearing.
Quote:
Greyworm: Wounded in war, there is no shame for this. I am ashamed because when the knife go in and I fall to the ground, I am afraid.
Missandei: All men fear death
Greyworm: No, not death. I fear I never again see Missandei from the Isle of Naath.
The Top 5
5.) Ser Davos Seaworth
I know, I know, I spurn Tormund then rank Ser Davos. What the fuck, right? But bear with me. Davos from day one represented the purest intentions with the strongest of convictions in the 7 kingdoms. He began as the fiercely loyal right hand to a man he knew to be as flawed as he was great and has continued on as an older foil to Jon Snow’s Starkian code of only the most undiluted honor. When he speaks you listen, because it is nothing but blue collar, honest truth he is spitting.
Quote:
(With the mutineers breaking down the door) “I’m not much of a fighter…Apologies for what you’re about to see.”
4.) Bronn (Ser Bronn of the Blackwater)
Red: “I gotta go with Bronn. He’s what every man wants to be; careless, reckless, and often legless. Bronn is also sneaky one of the most dangerous men in the 7 kingdoms. Throw in some killer one liners and Bronn is the clear choice as the best character in Game of Thrones.”
Quote: Bronn: There’s this knight, uh, Leygood. Got thunderbolts on his shield? Jaime: Uh-huh. Bronn: Right here is where I fuck his wife. She’s a screamer, that one. If they don’t hear her, they won’t hear us.
3.) Robb Stark
Yup, that’s right, a guy who died years ago. I don’t care. During my re-watch I was reminded just how good Robb Stark was. Above all else, he was intense. That is such an overused, cliched word but everything King Robb said was layered in desperation, frustration, urgency, and at the same time deep contemplation. He wasn’t just fighting a war, he was trying to mentally and emotionally will his way to victory. There was just something so human about how badly he wanted what he wanted because he thought it was right and made sense. Damn.
Quote:
Rob Stark: “I asked him, How can a man be brave if he’s afraid? That is the only time a man can be brave, he told me.”
2.) Tyrion Lannister
You just can’t leave him off this no matter which way you spin it. The Imp. The Half-man. The Dwarf. He is a half-pint of vice yet a barrel of ethical vigor. He uses sarcasm and condescension as a weapon to mask that deep down he is the only one among his family members who is kind, loving, and even tender and gentle. He likewise has an inner fury that he’ll aim at those who strike down upon the lowly, as he has been struck down on so much in his life. He also fucks a lot which is cool.
Quote:
Missandei: How do you know this?
Tyrion: That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things.
1.) Lord Tywin Lannister
BOMBSHELL. BSHHHHHHH. Ya I know. Me too. I texted Red this the other day and I’m sticking to it. Tywin is the best character on the show. He is the Vince McMahon of the realm. He leaves for a few scenes and then his music hits and you’re like ooo shit. Either with his army or his tongue he is going to carve someone the fuck in half. O and if he just doesn’t feel like he needs to use either he has a smirk or otherwise deadly facial expression to rip you to pieces with. He was a motherfucker, yes. An absolute piece of shit at times. He did it for his family in the end though. He never lost sight of his one rule. Kind of have to respect that.
Quote: Tywin Lannister: “Any man who must say, ‘I am the king’ is no true king.”
So I hope you enjoyed that. Maybe you love or hate me for the picks. Either way we like to have fun around here. Enjoy Season 8. Winter is here.
IGN – Oscar Isaac wants the world to know that he is game to play Solid Snake in the planned Metal Gear Solid movie adaptation.
While participating in IGN’s cast roundtable for Netflix’s Triple Frontier, IGN host Max Scoville asked the star-studded lineup — including Isaac, Pedro Pascal, Ben Affleck, Garrett Hedlund and Charlie Hunnam — which video game-turned-film they would want to be a part of. Isaac, who is best known for his role in Star Wars as Poe Dameron, was quick to voice his interest in the Hideo Kojima classic Metal Gear Solid.
“Metal Gear Solid, that’s the one,” said Isaac. “I’m throwing my hat in for that one.”
The Metal Gear Solid franchise is one of, if not my favorite, series of games of all time so any tidbits of news regarding the oft rumored live action movie is lifeblood to me. I also just called Oscar Isaac one of the best actors of my generation so to say I would be excited for this would be the understatement of the century.
Friend of The 300s, BossLogic, actually photoshopped Isaac as Snake last summer and I think its safe to say the mullet would fit him well.
OK let’s get back to serious Bid-NESS and that’s rolling with the hype of a #metalgearsolid movie.
Even the MGS movie’s director was tweeting about the whole thing this morning so suffice to say it sounds like the man running the whole operation is into it.
THIS-MUSING-IS-NOT-NEWS-PSA:
To everyone asking how I feel about Oscar Isaac saying he wants to be Solid Snake.
The full process required to cast an icon hasn’t even started, but..
Ask @Bosslogic where the idea for his brilliant mock up came from.
Now I’ll believe this movie actually gets made when I see it at the Fenway Regal Cinemas. It’s been in the works for years before landing the director of Kong Skull Island (never saw it) and Metal Gear Solid stan, Jordan Vogt-Roberts. Seriously this guy literally campaigned for the director role and last summer tweeted out 31 straight days of MGS concept art to honor the 31 years of the franchise.
Now why has this movie taken so long to get made when garbage games like Rampage (no disrespect, Dwayne) are already getting adaptations? Well Metal Gear Solid just has such a complex web of storylines, characters, political commentary, and general idiosyncrasies that only really make sense after multiple 30-40 hour sittings. Hideo Kojima is a legend, but I honestly have zero idea how you turn something like Sons of Liberty into a coherent movie without it being 5 hours long. GOOD LUCK trying explain the differences between Solid Snake, Solidus Snake, Liquid Snake, and Big Boss to someone unfamiliar with the games. I’ve been playing these games since 2002 and sometimes I’m not even sure.
With that being said, I would love to see some of the Metal Gear Solid characters on the big screen. Some of these characters are bat shit insane and would be pretty difficult to pull off in a feature film, but hey thats not my problem to worry about. But please, for the love of god do not include Raiden in this movie. The single most disappointing part in this entire MGS franchise, is the switch in antagonist from Snake to Raiden in MGS2.
Since this movie is still in early days they have yet to cast anyone or even teased a general synopsis. So lets break down the characters I’d most want to see on the big screen and who should don those roles in a Metal Gear Solid movie.
Vamp – Jason Momoa a member of Dead Cell from Romania. He is a knife-throwing specialist endowed with numerous vampire-like abilities and attributes, such as a taste for blood, superhuman strength, speed, agility, the ability to walk on vertical walls and run across water
Momoa has the perfect look to play Vamp and we know he can do an accent after a whole season of speaking Dothraki. Momoa has the intimidating physical presence and subtle humor to pull off the deadly Vamp.
Psycho Mantis – Ben Foster a psychic expert for Liquid Snake’s FOXHOUND unit in Metal Gear Solid…Prior to joining FOXHOUND, he worked with the KGB and the FBI. His special abilities include the psychic powers of psychokinesis and telepathy…As a result of being disgusted with his father’s inner thoughts, he burned his own village and started despising people.
Ben Foster has crazy down pat. I just keep coming back to his absolute meltdown in 2006’s Alpha Dog where he literally beats up an entire room full of people while searching for his kid brother.
Skull Face – Ed Harris The commander of the mysterious Special Forces XOF unit, he is distinguished by his heavily scarred face, hairless head, and his choice of tailored suits over combat fatigues. His identity and nationality are initially unknown.
If you’ve never watched Westworld then this might seem out of left field, but Harris would crush this role as the calm, calculated, and sinister Skull Face. Plus he’s already got the suit and black cowboy hat to fill out the role.
Revolver Ocelot – Christoph Waltz a gunslinger-themed member of the FOXHOUND terrorists involved with the hostile revolt on Shadow Moses Island which housed Metal Gear REX, serving as the team’s interrogation expert and their leader Liquid Snake’s right-hand man
This role is going to take an A-list thespian who can play the eccentric, power hungry, treacherous character in Ocelot and I think we’ve seen that from Christoph Waltz. Just take a look back at Inglorious Basterds for even 10 minutes if you disagree.
Who do you think should star in the upcoming Metal Gear Solid movie? Tweet your best castings to @The300sBoston
IGN – The wording there is interesting. EW says the episode will “be” the longest battle sequence, not “include” it, which implies the battle will take up the entirety of its runtime. With some episodes this season expected to run up to 90 minutes long, that could be very considerable.
Besides being the greatest TV show of all time, Game of Thrones features the most technically complex battles scene that have a bigger scale than anything we’ve ever seen in the history of entertainment. Last season ended with the White Walkers waltzing through the Wall with a brand new ice dragon marching south. Meanwhile Khaleesi is on her way up to Winterfell so I would not be surprised if we see some massive action in the first episode. Things are going to get real messy real fast and I don’t know if I’m ready for it emotionally.
In the meantime lets take a look back at some of the biggest battles we’ve seen so far.
The Battle of Blackwater Bay
S2E9 is when we were introduced to just how intelligent Tyrion really is and we also learn that Wildfire isn’t just some garbage potion that wannabe wizards used to play with.
Battle of the Bastards
S6E9 is where Jon Snow became the GOAT and we witnessed the largest live action battle scene of all time. Suffocating, tense, and heartbreaking; the Battle of the Bastards always gets my blood flowing. Plus that sonofabitch Ramsay finally gets what he’s had coming to him for 4 seasons.
Hardhome
S5E8 is a truly terrifying episode where we finally fully realize the scope of what the White Walkers can do and how screwed Jon Snow and company all really are.
The Loot Train
S7E4 is where Dany shows everyone why the Targaryen’s ruled the world with nothing but a few dragons.
The Battle of Castle Black
S4E9 is just another beautifully coreographed sequence of events. Multiple fights at once, arrows flying all around, fires burning, and Olly…that sonofabitch Olly.
We’re just a little over a month away from the Season 8 premiere, so if you’re like me and woefully behind on your Thrones rewatch it’s time to get in gear.
Finally, an actual target I can mark down in my calendar unlike the last time Thrones was trending for a “premiere date” when it was revealed GoT would return in April….which is a month and not an actual date. So this was welcome news this AM.
The new trailer actually dropped last night, which I missed, ironically enough, because I am currently in the midst of a Thrones rewatch. And just like I said I wouldn’t do, I am woefully behind. Ned Stark is Protector of the Realm right now for christ’s sake. Currently I have 3 episodes remaining in Season 1 along with all of Seasons 2-7 so there are 66 episodes still left on my plate. With the April 14th premiere date, that means there are 91 days left until we hear that sweet, sweet opening music. (If I had to bet, I would say they go with a cold opening so we probably won’t hear the music to start, but thats besides the point)
So for anyone that has yet to get on the Game of Thrones bandwagon or for anyone that wants to start a rewatch, we are rapidly approaching an episode per day territory. April 14th cannot come soon enough. Gods be good.
Updated odds to rule Westeros at the end of GOT (@BovadaOfficial):
Jon Snow +175 Bran Stark +250 Daenarys Targaryen +250 Arya Stark +900 The Night King +900 Tyrion Lannister +1000 Sansa Stark +1300 Cersei Lannister +1600 Gendry +1800 Samwell Tarly +2000 Jamie Lannister +2500
I figured for fans of The 300s who are into gambling, I’d break down for the two of you this list and see if we can decipher our safe plays at this point as well address any oddities.
-First and foremost, I’m surprised there aren’t a couple more Jora/Greyworm/bit character/warrior-types as long shots.
-Jamie Lannister at the bottom seems a bit odd, but if you think about it, when did he ever express a personal craving for power? It just doesn’t seem to be on his list of priorities, a list which currently consists of stabbing people and fucking his twin sister.
-Unless there’s some deep-GOT stuff regarding Bran I don’t know about, I’m perplexed he’s even on this list, let alone this high. I’ve heard the usual conspiracies regarding Westeros’ favorite paraplegic who possibly has used a bit too much ayahuasca, but none of them end with Bran himself being in a position of power, if you winkwink nudgenudge get my drift.
-Cersei being this low is either a sign of people trying to get way too #woke or that they just still don’t understand what a bad bitch she is. I don’t know which but she should be higher.
-How fuckin pissed would people if Gendry won this thing? That said, if you’ve seen my twitter avatar you know I’m #ChrisMilesForever so I am all for Joseph Dempsey’s character picking up the dub.
Onto some picks….
Arya Stark (+900)
This could be another “woke” pick but out of the contenders I guarantee you Arya is among the last few to die, if at all. She just won’t go away.
Tyrion Lannister (+1000)
This feels about right for Tyrion, who despite all his cunning and intelligence, two traits that aren’t without fragility as we saw last season, has consistently been exposed by brute force. Also, he has always just seemed doomed – at least to me. That said, a late run with an army behind him, possibly that of a fallen fellow contender, is not out of the realm (baboom) of possibility.
Sansa Stark (+1300)
Take my motherfucking money. In Sansa, we’ve seen the beginning to end of Cersei Lannister’s own road to sociopathy. She is going to be HARD to take down.
The Night King (+900)
As I sit here writing this though I start to worry about Tormund’s longevity. Despite the lack of returned affection from Brienne I could see Tormund sacrificing himself to try and save the big woman’s life. I might cry next Sunday.
Yup, that’s right, a guy who died years ago. I don’t care. During my re-watch I was reminded just how good Robb Stark was. Above all else, he was intense. That is such an overused, cliched word but everything King Robb said was layered in desperation, frustration, urgency, and at the same time deep contemplation. He wasn’t just fighting a war, he was trying to mentally and emotionally will his way to victory. There was just something so human about how badly he wanted what he wanted because he thought it was right and made sense. Damn.
BOMBSHELL. BSHHHHHHH. Ya I know. Me too. I texted Red this the other day and I’m sticking to it. Tywin is the best character on the show. He is the Vince McMahon of the realm. He leaves for a few scenes and then his music hits and you’re like ooo shit. Either with his army or his tongue he is going to carve someone the fuck in half. O and if he just doesn’t feel like he needs to use either he has a smirk or otherwise deadly facial expression to rip you to pieces with. He was a motherfucker, yes. An absolute piece of shit at times. He did it for his family in the end though. He never lost sight of his one rule. Kind of have to respect that.
The 300s 