Tag: Philip Rivers

If the World Ends and Tom Brady Does Leave, Who Do You Want at QB for the Patriots?

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I hate even typing these words, it’s like saying Candyman five times in the mirror; just don’t. But what if Tom Brady does leave? What are the options and who do you want under center in Foxborough? With the legal tampering period beginning on March 16th and Free Agency beginning on March 18th, we should have an answer one way or another in the next 2 weeks. If Brady does decide to take his talents elsewhere, the Patriots have a host of different options available, some more attractive than others. Lets break it down.

  • Options Currently on the Patriots Roster
    • Jarret Stidham
      • Drafted in the 4th round last year, the Patriots clearly saw something in Stidham who has impressed in the pre-season, but most fans remember him as the guy that blew the spread with a pick six against the Jets in relief duty of Brady last season. It’s too early to say if Stidham is the guy or not, but I don’t think his presence will prevent the Patriots from exploring any and all other options.
    • Cody Kessler
      • Kessler has been running the scout team on the Patriots practice squad and despite Belichick’s odd fascination with the career backup, he’s not the answer.
  • Trade Options
    • Andy Dalton
      • I hate to besmirch a fellow redhead because these are my people, but I just cannot get behind the Patriots starting the post-Tom Brady era with the Red Rifle. He’s had some decent seasons and has been dealing with a TON of injuries over the years to his top weapons in AJ Green and Tyler Eifert so maybe take his lack of sustained success with a grain of salt. He’s only thrown more than 25 touchdowns twice in his career though and hasn’t done it since 2013 so he hasn’t exactly been lighting it up. Whether thats more of a reflection on him or the disaster that is the Bengals is debatable, but this isn’t the guy I am pining for.
    • Matt Stafford
      • This one gained steam towards the end of last week when Patriots color commentator Scott Zolak floated it out of nowhere on 98.5 so it probably has at least been discussed by the Pats. Stafford has never gotten a ton of love, but has always been a legitimate (fantasy) quarterback despite playing for a desolate franchise in the Lions. His contract is also surprisingly cheap based on the way it’s structured so it definitely makes sense for the Patriots if they can get Stafford for a reasonable price. However he did BREAK HIS BACK last year though so proceed with caution on this one. With the No. 3 pick in this year’s draft the Lions could be thinking the same thing and looking to move on from Stafford so keep your eye on this one.
  • Free Agency
    • Marcus Mariota
      • Alright, hand up, I am a Mariota stan and watched as many of his games at Oregon as I possibly could so this may be a little biased. Granted, he’s not the only Heisman winning QB to flame out in the NFL (looking at you Troy Smith), but I honestly think with Josh McDaniels and Bill Belichick coaching him the Pats could turn him into a legit starter. Like most scrambling QBs, Mariota hasn’t been the same since he broke his fibula in Week 16 of the 2016 season. Before that though he was pretty solid with 26 TDs and 9 INTs in his first full season before his TDs and Yards dropped off for 2+ seasons resulting in him getting benched. With a 7.5 Yards per Attempt he definitely doesn’t air it out, but even Brady was 26th in the league at 6.6 Yards per Attempt last season. In fact, you know what Brady’s average Yards per Attempt is for his career? That would be the same exact 7.5 as Mariota so you obviously don’t need to air it out to be successful in this offense.
    • Philip Rivers
      • I wouldn’t hate it as Rivers is only one season removed from making the Pro Bowl with 32 TDs and 12 INTs before getting upset by the Pats in the playoffs. He has thrown 15+ INTs six different times though so the Pats may not be keen on a 38-year-old cowboy.
    • Jameis Winston
      • Winston most likely gets franchised by the Bucs unless Tampa somehow convinces Brady to sign there. It would be a hard sell to bring in a guy that just threw 30 picks too. So despite Bruce Arians’ complete inability to hide his disdain for Winston, he may not be on the market unless Brady shocks everyone and moves to the strip club capital of the world.
    • Ryan Tannehill
      • Similar to the situation in Tampa, the Titans will probably franchise or workout a deal with Tannehill unless Brady signs with the Titans, which is the reported favorite outside of New England. Tannehill was excellent last year as were many of his former Dolphins teammates who all seemed to thrive after Miami traded them away. After never posting a rating higher than 94 in six years as the Dolphins QB, Tannehill had a rating of 117.5 last year for the Titans. That’s an absurd improvement. So I wouldn’t bank on Tannehill all of a sudden having turned into an elite QB.
  • Dip Into the Draft
    • Tua Tagovailoa
      • Barring a massive and unforeseen slide in the draft, the Pats would have to trade an absolute haul of picks to move up far enough to snag Tua so this ain’t happening.
    • Justin Herbert
      • The former Duck could go anywhere from No. 5-25 depending on how his combine and interviews go so it’s possible the Pats could trade up if he slides a bit, but I doubt they lust after him enough to move up too much.
    • Jake Fromm
      • This is the guy that I think makes the most sense for the Pats. An undervalued, smart guy who doesn’t have a monster arm but can still make all the throws, ran a pro style offense and has a ton of experience with 43 starts at Georgia. As someone who’s projected to go late in the first (or later), Fromm is someone the Pats could take without overextending themselves.
    • Jordan Love
      • A big arm, scrambling ability, and a ton of potential without a lengthy track record, Jordan Love is basically the 2020 version of Josh Allen. The Patriots have met with the Utah State QB so there is some interest, but this isn’t the type of player Belichick typically wants under center.
    • Random 6th round dart throw
      • Hey it worked for them once right?

Those are the best options barring a blockbuster move nobody sees coming, but the list of Free Agent quarterbacks is LITTERED with bums so pick your poison. If you don’t like any of the names above you can always pick from the likes of Case Keenum, Colt McCoy, AJ McCarron, Blaine Gabbert, Blake Bortles, Geno Smith ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGH. The point has been made.

An intriguing option nobody has mentioned is Kyle Allen, who had a pretty good stretch filling in for Cam Newton before falling back to Earth. The Panthers have said they are planning to roll with Newton in 2020, but Carolina may be wary of trading a solid backup with Newton’s health far from certain. Allen’s numbers weren’t exactly lights out finishing with 17 TDs, 16 INTs, 3,322 Yards, and an abysmal 6.79 Yards per Attempt, but he could be a dark horse candidate for a young QB the Pats think they can coach up.

So lets all just pray to the old gods and the new that Tom Brady doesn’t go anywhere, but if he does who do you want under center next season?

Rumors Say the Chargers May Move to London and the Chargers Responded

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Yahoo – After years of success with its games in London, the NFL might be considering taking its overseas relationship with the city one step further. Interest is picking up with the league, the Los Angeles Chargers and the rest of the NFL’s team owners in a possible move by the team to London, according to a report from The Athletic’s Vincent Bonsignore:

The Athletic has learned through NFL sources that the possibility of the Chargers moving to London has been broached among league personnel. The Athletic also has learned that, while the team is fully committed to Los Angeles where it will move into the new $4.5 billion stadium with the Rams next year, the Chargers would at least listen if the NFL approached them about about London as a possible option.

Finally, The Athletic has learned that NFL owners are concerned enough about the Chargers’ situation in L.A., where a crowded sports market and the presence of the more established Rams has resulted in a tepid embracement [sic] of the Chargers, that they would provide the necessary support for a relocation to London if the Chargers pursue it.

I guess a lot of this stems from the league just now starting to realize that LA can’t support two NFL teams. We all realize LA is one of the biggest media markets in the world, but that doesn’t change the fact that the NFL has put their head in the sand and ignored the fact that LA has never been a big sports town. Its a transient city so the majority of people in LA hail from somewhere else and already have a team. Not to mention its Hollywood so just about everyone out there is doing just about everything besides sitting at home watching sports. Thats what makes Boston a perfect sports town. Its cold and miserable like 8 months out of the year so you become a sports fan almost by default. In LA you can basically do whatever you want whenever you want. So trying to shoehorn not one, but two teams into LA after this same exact experiment failed in the 80s never made any sense. The Rams simply made it to market first and were better right off the bat so the Chargers were always going to be treated like a stepchild.

Now Philip Rivers would most likely be long retired before this move to London ever realistically happens, but its a pretty good example to take a look at. They moved from San Diego to LA, a gargantuan 2 hour and 43 minute drive north, and he refused to move his family. So the guy literally takes helicopters and buses to practice so he doesn’t have to uproot the Brady Bunch. Now imagine moving an entire franchise to London, which is a 10 and a half hour flight? Bananas. Granted I’ve seen stories in the past theorizing that for this to ever work logistically the team would likely have to be based on the East Coast as a sort of jumping off point. Otherwise you’re looking at 20+ international flights when you factor in pre-season as well as all the flights back to London. That doesn’t even take into account playoff games. Good luck signing big time free agents on that. My commute is an hour in traffic and I want to drive into the Charles every day because of it.

Welp, it seems like the Chargers agree because they have come out of the gates HOT to shoot these rumors down.

Sorry, London.

Phillip Rivers Just Phillip Rivers’d Melvin Gordon

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ProFootballTalk – “They’re going to get a lot of work,” Rivers said, via the Los Angeles Times. “It certainly is a deep position for us, and those guys all love to play and work hard. We love Melvin, but we’re going to go with what we’ve got. It’s a pretty dang good group.”

I know what I’m about to say is not a popular opinion in the upper right-hand quadrant of the United States. I know we had quite the little rivalry with the formerly San Diego Chargers in the mid-to-late 2000’s. LT even talked some shit about our professionalism, giving way to a decent amount of New England hatred for the greatest back of our time, and maybe ever. I also know we don’t take kindly to cocky, fiery athletes that are not our own. It’s a contraction we own and even feed off of.

But I fucking love Phillip Rivers.

From his uber passionate style of play to his toughness – I believe it was the 06′ AFC title game he played with a torn ACL – to his weird ass hobby of having a thousand kids to him being the most underrated quarterback ever in my opinion. I just fuckin love the guy.

Most of all I love that Phillip can talk. That. Shit. Whether it’s about an opponent or someone in his organization. Man woman or child. Directly, or in this case, in the style of a passive aggressive brick, he is the best to do it of his generation. He reminds me A TON of Josh Beckett in this way. I’m good, this is the way I feel, so fuck you. That’s it.

And so here we are. Phillip Rivers has had a very successful individual and, for the most part, team-related career with countless teammates playing a role. That includes the best of the best and the just ok of backfield-mates. So do you think for one second he’s going to just let it slide that some hotshot RB is going to hold out and not let the guy know that Ol’ Papa Rivs considers him 1000% replaceable? Naht Toooooday. Not in this lifetime.

I actually can imagine this was the last thing Melvin Gordon had to consider before he decided to hold out. “There is no going back with Phillip. Him and his 23 kids are going to have my ass.” And he was right. He was always right.

The hardest part of digesting this whole situation is deciding what is the funniest aspect. It’s one of two:

1.) That you KNEW Phillip Rivers was going to speak on it, and even knowing so, it didn’t take away from how magical what he said was. He fucking delivered in spades.
2.) This is probably a solvable situation and that means Gordon is going to have to come back into that locker room, look Rivers in the eyes, and either say absolutely nothing or maybe even apologize. That’s his team kid.

So hate me if you want, o readers. I’ll be a Phillip Rivers guy as long as he’s slangin balls with the weirdest motion this side of Nantucket and cussing out anyone and everyone he sees fit. He’s just #goodforforball.
-Joey B

Former Chargers GM Says Trading Eli Manning Was the Highlight of His Career. Respect the Spite

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Yahoo – In 2004, the New York Giants and the Los Angeles Chargers made a trade that would forever change the course of both franchises. Moments after the Chargers selected Eli Manning with the first pick in the NFL draft, the team traded him to the Giants for Philip Rivers…

“[The trade] was the most satisfying moment for me in my career and I really mean that. I would say that if I was ever fortunate to win a Super Bowl, I’m sure it would’ve trumped that, but I don’t know that. I gotta tell you there was a lot of highs and lows in the business, but that moment was the greatest high for me as an executive for an organization.”

As Smith explains, the deal netted the Chargers with enough draft picks to select Shawne Merriman and kicker Nate Kaeding. Both guys played big roles in the team’s success from 2004 to 2009. More importantly, though, Smith was happy he took some of the power away from Manning and his agent, Tom Condon.

“When I heard emphatically from Tom Condon and Archie Manning ‘don’t take us,’ that hit me — call me a traditionalist — it hit me the wrong way,” Smith said. “I decided I was not going to play this game with them and I flipped it, in my view, to an unknown where they didn’t know what I’m going to do or how this is going to unfold — they really didn’t.”

I hated the Chargers growing up. Hated them. Shawne Merriman was an arrogant dickhead who could dish it but couldn’t take it when the Pats did his Lights Out dance in San Diego after an upset. LaDanian Tomlinson was the greatest runningback I’ve ever seen, but all he did was complain about how “classy” the Patriots were. All while sitting on the sidelines in his Darth Vader outfit while Philip Rivers played on a torn ACL. So aside from the Peyton Manning Colts and the Rex Ryan Jets the mid 2000s Chargers were my most hated football team.

BUT, I now LOVE AJ Smith. The architect of one of the most hated teams of my youth is an A+ grudge holder and I have to respect the spite. Oh whats that Eli, you don’t want me to draft you No. 1 overall in the NFL? In fact you won’t even play for my team if I do draft you? Well fuck you because now I’m doing it.

AJ Smith wasn’t going to let some rich kid and the Manning Mafia tell him how to do his job. I bet he would have ate the draft pick and let Manning sit the year out if he didn’t get the trade offer he wanted. Just spite that whole family because you ain’t John Elway, kid.

Now obviously this trade was the rare trade that worked out swimmingly for both sides. The Chargers got Philip Rivers and a boatload of picks that turned into franchise cornerstones and the Giants got Eli and 2 Super Bowls (kill me) out of it. Big Z made the point that the Giants might actually have won more Super Bowls with Rivers under center because aside from two month long hot streaks by Eli Manning, Rivers is clearly the better player. Rivers has a better career Completion %, more TDs, 60+ less INTs, and a better QB Rating.

I’d still rather have two SB rings, but I respect the shit out of AJ Smith for deriving so much pleasure out of something so small. An early candidate for The 300s 2019 Hater of the Year.

Patriots Chargers Playoff Preview and Things to Watch For

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Image result for brady rivers

The 300s Dream Team already hit you with a Pats/Chargers preview podcast yesterday, but ya boy Mattes is here with a little bit of a deeper dive into what to expect on Sunday.

It seems like Pats Nation is banking on the fact that this game is in Foxborough, a place where the Pats are undefeated in their last nine playoff contests, winning each of those games by an average of over two touchdowns (15.8 points to be exact). In fact, it’s been over half a decade since they’ve lost at Gillette in January, as the team hasn’t been defeated in a playoff matchup at home since 2012 against Baltimore.

There’s also the fact that Philip Rivers has beaten the Patriots just once in his career. The 37-year-old Chargers signal-caller also owns an overall record of 5-5 in postseason play, with an 11-to-9 TD-to-INT ratio. So, he’s pretty much been just as good as he has been bad when playing after the regular season ends.

But anyone who’s taking this matchup lightly is foolish. I’m not saying the Chargers will win, but I am saying they probably have the best chance of doing so of any home playoff opponent that Brady’s ever faced in his career (or at least over the past few postseasons). The Chargers feature the league’s 11th-ranked offense and the ninth-ranked defense, possessing the ability to hurt you in many different ways. I’ve said it a few times already that this might be the most talented roster, pound for pound, in the AFC right now – yes, even more talented than Kansas City.

Image result for los angeles chargers

Seriously, these guys are GOOD.

On offense, it all starts with Rivers, who truly may be the best quarterback to never win a Super Bowl. While a great argument can be made that such an honor should instead go to Dan Marino, Rivers is top-eight all-time in both passing yards and touchdowns, and he will likely surpass Marino in both categories as long as he plays for at least another 2-3 years. He also chucked it for over 4,300 yards and 32 scores this season. His postseason track record may be pretty average, but his career clock is ticking, and he could come out guns blazing on Sunday.

Image result for philip rivers

His No. 1 receiver, Keenan Allen, finished the year with 97 catches and almost 1,200 yards. He’ll prove to be a tough matchup, even for an All-Pro like Stephon Gilmore. (Although Allen might actually see more coverage from Jason McCourty due to the fact he plays over 50 percent of the time in the slot.) Guys like Mike Williams (10 TDs in 2018) and Tyrell Williams are a nice pairing behind him, and the Chargers are bringing back tight end Hunter Henry this week as well. Though Henry hasn’t played since last December due to an ACL tear, he was a second-round pick in 2016 and did have 12 touchdowns in his first 29 career games; he gives Rivers just one more weapon in the arsenal for Sunday, especially down in the red zone.

The team’s stable of backs may be even more impressive. Melvin Gordon was a top-three running back over the first half of this season, before being slowed by injuries toward the end of the year. As a result, the Chargers were forced to work with backups like Austin Ekeler and Justin Jackson much more than expected. But they never skipped a beat, as all three backs have averaged over 4.1 yards per carry this season, with each also flashing as a receiver, posting over nine yards per catch. (Actually, both Gordon and Ekeler averaged over 5.0 yards per carry this year.) All three will be used against the Pats on Sunday, making it impossible for Bill to zero in on eliminating the opponent’s top weapon, like he usually does.

Image result for melvin gordon austin ekeler

Everyone wants to focus on Melvin Gordon, and rightfully so. But Ekeler (above) can’t be slept on either.

On defense, L.A. is completely stacked, with two First-Team All-Pros in the secondary and two ferocious pass-rushers up front. While they may be a bit weak at linebacker, the Chargers are absolutely loaded in both the front and back ends of the D, finishing ninth against both the pass AND the run in 2018. They’re also particularly good against tight ends and the short passing game – literally the Patriots offense in a nutshell.

So how do the Pats match up with L.A.? What can our boys do to counteract the Chargers’ fire power? Here’s my rundown of what to watch for on Sunday.

(All About the Secondaries): Both the Chargers and the Pats feature one of the league’s top defensive secondaries, with three combined First-Team All-Pro players across both rosters. (Cornerback Stephon Gilmore for the Patriots; safety Derwin James and cornerback Desmond King for the Chargers. AND let’s not forget about Casey Hayward, who was a Second-Team All-Pro at corner for the Chargers last year. I told you, these guys are loaaadeddd.) Even outside of them, both teams have plenty of other Pro-Bowl-worthy talent at both the safety and cornerback positions as well. In fact, the Chargers are so loaded back there that they used at least seven d-backs on 58-of-59 defensive plays last week against the Ravens. And they did so with tremendous success, holding Lamar Jackson to less than 30 yards passing through the first three quarters. But again, the Pats have also been a stalwart against the pass; since the bye week, the Pats have allowed a paltry 206.6 yards through the air in those six games. They’ve also held guys like Aaron Rodgers and Ben Roethlisberger to 250 passing yards or less when facing off against them this year, ending any argument that “we just haven’t played good quarterbacks lately.” Both teams will absolutely live and die by their secondaries on Sunday.

Image result for derwin james

The rookie, James, has been sensational this season.

(Sony Could Be the X-Factor): As I said above, according to the numbers, the Chargers have been equally as good against the run as they have against the pass this year. But there’s no doubt that, much like the Pats, they are severely lacking over the middle of the defense. Especially after their second-leading tackler, Jatavis Brown, was placed on I.R. this week, Sony Michel could do some damage on Sunday if he reaches the second level. Of course, James, the Chargers’ leading tackler, will be back there waiting as well, along with S/CB/LB hybrid Adrian Phillips, who had the third-most takedowns on the team. Michel will also need to get past the Chargers’ fearsome front four, which is no easy task either. But if the Pats can rely on the rookie to help grind out the clock, keeping the ball out of Rivers’s and his talented supporting cast’s hands as much as possible, the team could be OK on Sunday.

(Big Game for Brown and the Boys Up Front): According to NFL Next Gen Stats, the Patriots had the third-best pass-block win rate of all of this year’s playoff squads. We’ve mentioned before that the O-line has been a major strength for the team this year, with pretty much everyone playing well at all five spots. The Chargers also totaled just 38 sacks on the year as a team, good for just 19th in the league. But you cannot forget about Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram, who have combined for 54 sacks over the past three seasons – and let’s not forget that Bosa missed half of this year due to injury. Ingram also had seven tackles and two sacks just last week, giving him plenty of momentum heading into this weekend. With Trent Brown set to become a free agent at the end of the season, he could literally make or break his next contract depending on well he protects Brady’s backside in this one.

Image result for trent brown

We’re gonna need you this week, big fella.

Just a few more quick notes:

  • As mentioned above, the Chargers defense has absolutely dominated tight ends this season, finishing No. 1 overall in DVOA against the position. Brady should be able to spread the ball around well enough to combat L.A.’s strength against the short passing game overall, but don’t expect a big game from an already-ailing Rob Gronkowski on Sunday – like maybe at all.
  • After missing the season finale, Cordarrelle Patterson is back. Devin McCourty and Deatrich Wise are also expected to be OK after injury scares two weeks ago. Besides some lingering ailments throughout the roster, the Pats are expected to play with a full squad on Sunday.
  • In the playoffs, experience matters, and Sunday will mark Bill Belichick‘s 40th career playoff game as a coach; Anthony Lynn is heading into his second. It will mark the biggest discrepancy in playoff games (40-2) and playoff wins (28-1) in NFL history, according to Elias (h/t ESPN Boston).

Prediction

This is going to be a battle, and that 15.8-point average margin of victory in recent home playoff games is going to go down a bit. Not only that, but with both defenses being so good, this should be a lower-scoring game. (Don’t take the over!!!) With the Chargers being much more loaded on offense, though, they’ll be up by a score at halftime, before the Pats tighten up in the second half. Then, it’ll be a fight to the finish line, with the Pats punching in a late score, barely giving them the edge. In what will be the Pats’ most difficult divisional round test in years, they’ll scratch and claw their way to a 21-20 victory.

The 300s Bloggers’ Nick Mullens is Elite Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 9

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Yey, my children, behold the Week 9 fantasy football blog. The NFL itself was actually a bit of a dumpster fire this week with quite a few just plain bad games. On the other hand, was Nick fucking Mullens. The complete unknown practice squadder who jogged out there for San Francisco and was just about perfect. The best QB from Southern Miss not named Brett Favre. Only highlighting Mullens success was his counterpart on the Raiders, Derek Carr, simply forgetting how to QB and Carr’s coach Jon Gruden searching Indeed for new jobs on the sidelines. Sports, amirite?!

Anyway, how’d we do?

Papa G

Blogger’s Note: Papa Giorgio did not submit a fantasy blog this week. He is however a Mets fan and their newly introduced General Manager is indeed the slimiest seeming person since Lester Diamond so maybe he’s just in a gutter somewhere. Ts and Ps son.


Red

You wanna know why The League was such a completely unrealistic show? It’s not because of all the crazy antics they get into with NFL celebrity guest appearances sprinkled in. No it’s because I’m supposed to believe a group of grown men in their 30s are endlessly devoted to a game that is almost entirely dependent on random acts of god. On Sunday, I was greeted to a glorious “Look what I found” TD that I was so jazzed up about I tweeted it…which sealed my fate with the fantasy gods. 

I later came to find out that the refs changed their mind and just awarded the TD to someone else, thus stealing 6 points out of my front pocket. Can’t win like that guys. 

I now reside firmly in 10th place.

Joey B

3-6. No bueno. Probably out of the running at this point as it is a ten point league. The worst part in this was a 15 point loss to the number one team in the league, which is pretty fucking close. Basically all I needed was Matthew Stafford to do literally anything at all (I think he got me 5 or 6 points) and I would have got the dub. Wasted games from Connor and Howard. Just disappointing.

 

Mattes

I’ve hit an all-time low this week: I lost to a guy who started two inactives and is last in the league in points. I’m 1-8 and ashamed to even look myself in the mirror right now. No need to talk about this abomination any longer. It simply hurts too much.

After getting a combined 120 points from Michael Thomas and the Fitzmagic/O.J. Howard stack in my 2-QB, full-point PPR league, I still lost because Kirk Cousins and Tarik Cohen forgot how to play football this week. If I had just started Philip Rivers as my other QB, I would’ve been fine. I just pulled a Big Z this week and left points on the bench. Happens to the best of us, but I’m still right in the thick of it.

 

Big Z

Things are coming together nicely for the Z-Men. With 144 points in Week 9, I led the league in scoring for the second straight week and won for the third straight week.

I’m still in the running for the Horse’s Ass Trophy, too! In addition to 25 points from James Conner and 26 points from Christian McCaffrey, Tevin Coleman scored 26 on my bench and James White scored 22 on my bench. The curse of being deep at the RB position in a league that only lets you play two per week.

The 300s Bloggers’ Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 2

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Hi Friends.

Week 2 is now in the books and I’d say we are one week away from really seeing what our squads “are”? Don’t you love those questions and answers? “We still don’t know what Jimmy G is.” “We will find out tonight what these 2008 *insert team here* are? But ya, horribly hard to be a T.V analyst.

To go along with Week 2 we have our second addition of the recap of how our bloggers did in their respective league(s). As with Week 1, every blogger has submitted a small blurb on their successes and failures. Let’s get to it…


Papa Giorgio

Well, I got absolutely shellacked this weekend. 0-3 across all my leagues. Fournette being out did not help in the slightest. It will be interesting to see how Josh Gordon does for me now that he’s been traded to the Patriots. I have him in two leagues and if the guy can get healthy and live up to his potential my teams should be able to get back on track in the quest for some titles. Otherwise, if things continue to go south I may have to pull a Vontae Davis and get the hell out of Dodge. 

(Joey B Note: Something about a Bill’s fan drafting the most volatile player possibly in league history makes me happy.)


Big Z

Fantasy football is a prime example of where it is better to be lucky than good. I was thisclose to dropping Chris Hogan in favor of Phillip Dorsett this week. I ultimately decided against streaming my WR/TE flex position and stuck with Hogan after a lackluster Week 1. At halftime it looked like they would both post underwhelming Week 2 numbers, but I was rewarded with two late TDs by Hogan. Thank god.

As I’ve written before, defense should be taken out of fantasy football. Until that happens, though, I will continue to stream defenses in fantasy football. This week I dropped Green Bay to pick up New England. Whoops! Thankfully the move only cost me eight points. After an early defensive touchdown by Green Bay it looked like it could’ve been a whole lot worse.

Up 89-88 going into Monday night, my opponent was done and I only had Russell Wilson left. I thought about benching him, but when’s the last time a QB got negative points? I don’t know, but Wilson made me sweat it out, turning the ball over a few times in the second half. A garbage-time TD put me at the century mark, though, and cemented my Week 2 W.

So with a Brandin Cooks, Christian McCaffrey and a little luck, the Big Z Fantasy Empire is on the board in 2018.


Red

(Joey B’s Note: This first sentence is laugh out loud funny. This is the beauty of fantasy: you can taste the bitterness)

If I have any piece of advice from another dogshit start to my fantasy season it’s this; stick to the guys you drafted as long as you can. After a disastrous 4 INT game in Week 1, I benched Matt Stafford for Jimmy G and Stafford went off for 32 points compared to Garoppolo’s 20. Naturally I lost by just a hair under 12 points this week.

I also lost in my other league wasting a 27 point, 14 catch, 100 yard performance from Christian McCaffrey. So all in all I am a combined 0-4 to start the fantasy season. Oh and I bet the Patriots to cover on Sunday while I was down in the great state of NJ and obviously lost that bet. So my gambling advice is radioactive right now. Stay away.


Joey B

The bitch of fantasy football is that sometimes what happens in real-life outweighs fantasy. In this case, Gronk having a bad day fantasy-wise was not nearly as bad as that Patriots game overall. I still not only won but had high score thanks to, in part, another MONNNSTER game from Michael Thomas. Still, seeing that 2 points (or so) from Gronk and what it really represented hurt.


Mattes

If it weren’t for O.J. Howard benefitting from even more FitzMagic this week, it would have been a SAD day for the Purple Cobras. Granted, I did leave over 65 points on the bench this week, which included three guys with over 17-plus points each, each of whose performance would have been better than the four-point abomination I got from Ryan Grant in my flex. (Hey! He had nine targets in Week 1!) But alas, it would not have mattered anyway, as my opponent was the league’s high-scorer this week. Fortunately, those bench guys look like they could be forces moving forward, so hopefully I can start to right the ship in Week 3 after a rough (but not insurmountable!) 0-2 start.

As far as my other league goes, I was able to pull out a two-point victory thanks in large part to Captain Kirk Cousins, who went absolute H.A.M. sandwich in Green Bay on Sunday. Pairing him up with Philip Rivers in a two-QB league proved to be quite the boon this week. Michael Thomas also continues to be a PPR juggernaut, and the fact that Chris Carson didn’t get a carry in the second half killed any chance my opponent had of winning going into what was looking like a very advantageous Monday night scenario for him. If David Johnson, Larry Fitz, and the Cardinals offense ever wakes the hell up, I’d be feeling pretty damn good about this squad. I’ll take a 1-1 start for now.

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 1

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Hey Everybody,

So I am going to start posting this every week. An opportunity for you the reader  to both revel and commiserate with your favorite (Me, maybe Big Z) or least favorite (Bills Fan) 300s blogger. So without further or do……….

Papa Giorgio
(Joey B’s Note: PG’s starting quarterback IRL is Nathan Peterman)

“Two words: Total Domination. Was it easy? No. Did I almost throw up blood when Aaron Rodgers was carted off the field with a knee injury? You betcha! Someone I managed to come out of week one 3-0 in all my leagues combined. As someone who does not take fantasy football too seriously, it was a nice start to what inevitably will be a horrifying, disastrous finish.”

Big Z

“I kept Le’Veon Bell in My keeper league. I picked up James Conner as his handcuff, but played Devonta Freeman instead in Week 1. Figured Pittsburgh had lots of other weapons, and might not lean too heavily on the second year player. Conner outscored Freeman by a cool 28 points, as I lost my Week 1 matchup by 12.”

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Joey B

I had a solid, straightforward week 1 win. I only do one team because I honestly just can’t keep track of more than one. Team-wise, I grabbed Gronk in the first because it’s smart and I picked up/started James Connor because the Steelers have relied heavily on the run since Lincoln still had the back of his head. The only thing grinding my gears a bit is that I lost out on the league high score for the week because rather than having even an underwhelming, sub-average game Matthew Stafford shat the bed completely. Oh well, 1-0.

Now we get to the absolute novels written by Red and MATTES GOOOODDDAMN. Asked these guys for a blurb on their fantasy football week and I got Will Hunting’s thesis on the market economy in the southern colonies.

Red

“Ya know, I was initially pretty upset about accidentally drafting Matt Stafford in the 8th round because time ran out on my pick, but now? Well now I’m fucking furious. Thats what I get for playing chicken with the Yahoo fantasy football draft pick timer.

I won a fantasy league I was in with Donovan McNabb as my QB that I picked up in like the 15th round. It was his last year in Philly and his last year as a productive NFL starter, which was perfect for me. Drafting a QB late has been my template ever since. Welp, not this year.

Sure you could attribute my opening day loss to lack of preparation (I didn’t buy an $11 draft magazine this year) or the fact that I continue to rely on Seahawks running backs not named Marshawn Lynch prior to 2015, but I prefer to point out that Matthew Stafford threw 4 picks in the same week Alvin Kamara dropped 38 points on me.

Here’s to hoping Sam Darnold continues to do just what I had hoped and throw the ball to my sleeper pick, Quincy Enunwa, more than anyone else on the Jets. Quincy had 10 targets last night compared to 11 for the rest of the team combined.

On my bench, of course.

Goddamnit, why do I play this game?”

 

Mattes

“I tell ya, it really sucks to be 0-2 after just one week of football. BOTH sqauds lost this weekend, and neither matchup was close in either league. Even worse is the fact I was expected to be the week’s high-scorer in my full-point PPR league – with guys like Larry Fitz, Michael Thomas, David Johnson, and Jarvis Landy – but only two of those guys actually showed up. There was a few fleeting minutes of hope in my matchup against our very own Papa Giorgio, when Aaron Rodgers looked like he was about to be placed on the shelf for the second straight season. But alas, the legend came back and put up another THIRTY-TWO points to crush my Week 1 dreams. Although, with Amari Cooper putting up two whole points on Monday night, maybe it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. It also didn’t help to have the Saints defense in both leagues, who fell victim to some serious FitzMagic and blew chunks in their home opener. In one league, the got me -4, and the other they got me -8.

So I literally would’ve been better off not even starting a D/ST this week. COOL. I did have one particular Saints player, though, who went absolutely BANANAS, catching 16 balls for 180 yards and a score; his name is Michael Thomas, as previously mentioned, and I’m glad I snagged him for the second year in a row. Jordan Howard and Carlos Hyde look like a decent back pairing in one league, but David Johnson and Alex Collins didn’t live up to expectations in the other. Hopefully Kerryon Johnson, my sneaky pick for Rookie of the Year, takes the job away from a hopefully-washed-up LeGarrette Blount and serves as a solid No. 3 behind Howard and Hyde. And if Rex Burkhead ends up being the Patriots offensive MVP, as I predicted in the Pats preview podcast, I could be OK in my other league, too. Russell Wilson also proved he’s matchup-proof, putting up over 30 against a nasty Broncos D. Philip Rivers and Kirk Cousins look like a solid pairing in my two-QB league as well, so I’m not getting too down after the first week. It can only go up from here…right?”

Former Patriots Nemesis and PED Enthusiast Shawne “Lights Out” Merriman is Now a Bare Knuckle Boxer

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ESPN – Former NFL linebacker Shawne Merriman has signed a deal with the World Bare Knuckle Fighting Federation (WBKFF) to compete in a boxing match later this year. Merriman, 34, has teased the possibility of competing in combat sports, notably mixed martial arts, for years. A three-time Pro Bowl selection with the San Diego Chargers, Merriman — whose nickname was “Lights Out” during his playing career — retired from professional football in 2013… A date and opponent for Merriman’s bout has yet to be determined. The event will take place this fall in Casper, Wyoming, and is expected to air via pay-per-view online…

Merriman was a standout linebacker at the University of Maryland and a Chargers first-round draft pick in 2005. He notched 39.5 sacks during his first three seasons, despite serving a four-game suspension in 2006 after testing positive for a banned substance. Injuries derailed the final five years of his career; he played just 33 games during that span.

Let me just Papa Doc my headline real quick before any of you have the opportunity to chirp me. Yes Julian Edelman is currently serving a suspension for taking a banned substance, yes Rodney Harrison served a PED suspension, yes Tom Brady was suspended for deflating fucking footballs

(Now that thats out of the way, back to the blog.)

But none of that changes the fact that Shawne Merriman is one of the biggest enigmas of our generation. The guy was an absolute savage, a preposterously strong, athletic, and menacing linebacker that tormented the league for years. Racked up 10, 17, and 12.5 sacks in his first 3 years in the league then he got popped for PEDs and had 6 sacks over the next 5 years. Maybe it was the PEDs, maybe it was injuries piling up (33 games over the final 5 years), but either way the guy was never even close to being a replacement level player ever again. Thats a pretty clear line of demarcation. Sorry, Chargers fans.

Not to mention the reason all Patriots fans loved to hate Shawn Merriman; the silly “Lights Out” sack dance.

The guy would put on this whole show after sacking a QB. But god forbid anyone mocks his pre-planned, organized dance, which is exactly what the Patriots did after yet again upsetting the favored Chargers in the playoffs in 2007. The Chargers all flipped out because doing the dance that was thrown in everyone’s face all year long was not classy.

“I would never react in that way. I was very upset,” Tomlinson said. “When you go to the middle of our field and start doing the dance Shawne Merriman is known for, that is disrespectful. They showed no class and maybe that comes from the head coach.”

Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers said he saw some Patriots pointing to the scoreboard, mimicking the dance and stomping on the Chargers’ logo at midfield.

“Every time I will play New England it will be a personal grudge,” linebacker Shaun Phillips said, according to the Union-Tribune. “That was very classless.”

Either way, I will absolutely be watching this bare knuckle boxing match as long as its not more than like $20. While I enjoy ragging on Merriman still all these years later, I will watch him try his hand at combat sports. Dude probably has a bundle of frustration built up over the past decade just waiting for someone to catch these hands after the way his football career ended.

 

Is Philip Rivers the Most Entertaining QB Ever?

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I like Philip Rivers, he seems like a guy that just wants to get out there and sling it. Let him throw it 50 times a game and see what happens. I’ve liked him ever since the Pats faced off against the Chargers and a young Rivers in the 2008 AFC Championship Game and Rivers played on a torn ACL. Guy just balls out. With that being said Rivers is high comedy on the sidelines and coming off the field. Always looks bullshit, 1,000 yard stares, and routinely screams into his helmet. If thats Jay Cutler then its “poor body language” and “bad leadership” but since its Rivers its just hilarious to me.

Granted, he’s had a string of bad luck with the Chargers playing in the most close games in the league the past 2 seasons…and lost most of those games. They just always have a ton of self inflicted injuries, which was on FULL display yesterday with the ATROCIOUS safety the Chargers ran into:

Not to mention the Chargers running the goddamn Wildcat on a key 3rd and 2 like its 2008.

Rivers started running towards the sidelines and I was convinced they were going to run a direct snap to the RB or something. Nope, just a terrible play from an antiquated offense that did not pick up the first down and Philip Rivers died just a little bit more inside.

Thats not to say Phil didn’t have a hand in his team bungling a game they had a pretty good handle on early.

But the complete disdain for everyone around him is what makes him so lovable, especially after this brutal penalty on a pick play negated a yuuge touchdown for the Chargers.

And then to wrap it all up Rivers threw an interception as the Chargers had one last chance to tie it up.

Never change, Philip. Never change.