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Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody.

Views from the 617.

Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.

The 300s Bloggers’ Week 15 Only Big Z is Left Fantasy Football Round Up

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So Big Z is the only one to submit a blurb today, which I’m guessing means everyone else is dead. And by dead I mean their season is over. RIP in Peace. Idk how Red expects us to get a successful #sports blog going when no one can even fuckin play fantasy football. O well.

Editor’s note: I have submitted my piece for the fantasy blog, dripping with contempt.

P.S – Google “Artie Lange’s nose. My God how is this poor guy still alive?

Joey B

I’m still setting line ups, etc. as I can still get a $20 high score of the week. Instead I got beat by 30 thanks again to Gronk and a still useless Matthew Stafford. (Idk how he actually played, but like Red, Stafford has fucked me all season).

Big Z

We’re on to the Third Place Game. For the second straight year.

I lost 74-66 in an ugly semifinal matchup. Not much to say, other than Tevin Coleman scored 24 points on my bench.

If I finish in fourth place, and out of the money, for a second straight year I’m going full tilt Week 17 and dumping a thousand bucks into Draft Kings.

Red

I got smoked this week entirely on the back of third string running backs. Never seen anything like it. My opponent had the Chiefs’ third stringer Damien Williams (naturally I had Spencer Ware) and the Steelers’ backup to the backup runningback Jaylen Samuels. As expected those two had 50+ points between the two of them. My fantasy season is sheets.

 

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Joe Flacco Can Still be Elite Next Season Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 14

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The end of an era is here.

Today, The Baltimore Ravens officially benched Joe Flacco in favor of Lamar Jackson. This event was so profoundly biting to our generation, the news of it overshadowed a mass shooting in France, the #3 guy in the Vatican going down on sex abuse charges, and whatever shitstorm is the latest to roll through the American political spectrum. Just captivating.

Although there seems to be a Jimmy G, or Carson Wentz, or Josh Allen year after year nowadays, people forget Flacco was the first of the lower-tier school QBs. A 6’6″ rocket-armed, curiously mobile signal caller out of Delaware of all places. He also had a unibrow and was called a loser/shut in by his own Dad within two years of entering the league so idk why I’m so surprised in hindsight. New York Giants fans, YOU’RE NEXT QB!

(Final Note: If you haven’t and need a recommendation, give “Frontier” a watch. Engrossing).

Big Z

Week 14 was a bye week for the Z-Men, so it was a bit irritating to see George Kittle rip off 37 points and Christian McCaffrey rip off 21. Save some for the (fantasy) playoffs, boys!

With McCaffrey and my kicker Wil Lutz going on Monday night in Week 15, there is a definite possibility I will be waking up my neighbors screaming at the tv Monday night.

Papa G

Fantasy season is officially over for me. Red thrashed me pretty good in my only league where I made the playoffs. Welp, time to start my Game of Thrones rewatch.

 

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttteeeeeeeeees

After suffering through the worst regular season of my fantasy career, it’s nice to know that I will not be finishing in last! “Amari’s Resurrection” beat Red’s squad in the first round of the loser’s bracket and will not be the dreaded Sacko! (It’s sad how excited I am about that, but I’d never recover if I ever finished last in this league. Seriously, I just could not handle that.) And how apropos my team name is, as Amari Cooper went BANANAS again, finishing the afternoon with 46 points on Sunday. (I know. I know. But hey! I already apologized to him publicly two weeks ago for the vitriol and hatred I spewed his way earlier this year.) Now I got a tough matchup this week against Papa Giorgio to get the chance to play for the “Least Sucky Loser” title. Hey, at least it’s something.

I lost in the first round of the loser’s bracket in the other league. My opponent also had Amari Cooper…and Zeke…and Gronk. And I had Cousins, Rivers, and Sony Michel going this week…sooo, yeah. I should be able to fend off a last-place finish against last week’s low-scorer. Dear God, I hope so….

Red

Where to begin….well I lost in one league by 6 points because my opponent, the one and only Mattes, got FOURTY SIX points from the Undertaker, err I mean Amari Cooper. 

In my other league I rolled Papa Giorgio in the first round behind huge days from Christian McCaffrey, Ezekiel Elliott, and Spencer Ware. My prize? A date with the buzzsaw that is the No. 1 seed and a projected 30 point blowout loss. Keep me in your prayers.

Joey B

Lost and will finish the year in both last and last in points for. Not a great year!

 

 

There is Currently a War Brewing on Twitter Over Who is the King of R&B, Possibly Past and Present

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First things first, I say “brewing” because so far there has been some pretty heated arguments, but I wouldn’t say this train has quite left the station yet, particularly as twitter goes. No one has been doxxed or swatted, to my knowledge, and no ones families have been threatened, again to my knowledge. So this is not a full-blown twitter war yet. In a number of words, Franz Ferdinand is yet to be assassinated, setting this whole thing off.

It should also be stated that due to my “no research” policy I am not sure how this started. The first item I saw of it was that somebody claimed R.Kelly was the King of R&B, a possibly accurate claim despite him being a despicable human being, and another user countering with an absolutely preposterous contender who I now forget. It wasn’t quite Omarion, but it was pretty close. That was really what got the pot simmering, that our second entrant to the conversation was so far off that this demanded a squabble.

Possibly the most important part of this entire debate is the long list of “Kings of R&B”. I don’t know a TON about how monarchies work beyond a high school, and small bit of college, history education, as well as a fanhood of “Game of Thrones” and to a much, much “there is nothing else the fuck on” extent, “The Tudors”. With that said I, being an intellectual, know that “mono”, in either Latin, Greek, or possibly some sort of Sumerian, means “one”. There can only be one king. So the fact that people are tweeting out lists of “Kings of R&B” is sort of contradictory.

The list themselves are only a bit intriguing. I was surprised how many people had Trey Songz. He makes bangers and definitely some of the top baby making music of our era, but didn’t know people considered him a legit R&B guy. Bruno Mars is nonsense, as he falls into the “Uptown Funk” genre. Also the Weekend is just weirdass (but good) music, dk if thats R&B. I know people like to show they are as accepting as entirely possibly but sorry, Frank Ocean is trash, or at least not the king of R&B. I have no problem with the guy, but I think people are throwing in Robin Thicke’s name just because they want to see the world burn.

So ya, twitter is soon to be ablaze with arguments regarding the modern R&B Congress (really you can’t call them all Kings,  fuck off). So place your bets for when this becomes a full scale riot and then gets taken offline altogether. Blood in the streets because of some sick beats (o snap).

-Joe B

 

Ever Hear The One About The Back-Up Fighter Missing Weight?

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Sherdog – Max Holloway hit the scales at 144.5 pounds as he prepares to defend his featherweight title against the undefeated Ortega (144.75) in the UFC 231 main event this Saturday at the Scotiabank Arena in Toronto. However, in an ironic turn of events, Renato “Moicano” Carneiro — who was not scheduled to fight but had been kept on hand in case one of the headliners was not cleared to compete — failed to make the weight limit for a title fight, weighing in at 146.

To give some context, the UFC, understandably to a point, has had a long history of having fights and cards collapse at the last moment, which for these purposes we’ll say is a week or so, due to bad weight cuts, injuries, toxic water/wolf tickets, etc. So they came up with a couple ways to combat this.

The first solution is simple: stack a couple more fights featuring contenders from the weight class as the headlining fight on that card. If a headliner drops out, slot one of the other fighters in and find his original opponent a replacement or just pay him and say “sucks”. This works ok, but timing and scheduling doesn’t always work.

The second idea, which they really just recently have started using, is to have an additional fighter at that weight class be ready, be on weight, and then fight weekend get weighed in and medically cleared to fight so that if either fighter in the main event can’t go, they can step in. I think Jacare did it for the last 185lb title fight but I could be wrong.

Needless to say, with all this meticulous planning, care, and finger crossing involved, I laughed out loud today when I read that both of this weekend’s Featherweight Championship headliners, Brian Ortega and Max Holloway, made championship weight but that the fucking back up fighter, Renato Carneiro, did not. He came in at 146lbs, which for a normal fight is fine, but not for this belt, where you have to be 145lbs and not a hair over.

Where does this leave us? Well if either Ortega or the champ Holloway can’t make it to the Octagon, which still isn’t a sure thing, we’re a bit fucked unless another 145er is around, and a few are sure to raise their hands. As for “Moicano”, who was there opportunistically but not really essentially, he now see his stock take a BIG hit as he is now not only seen as unreliable, but as a risk to not make weight in any future title bouts, which after his impressive KO of Cub Swanson could be close down the road.

Hold on to ya butts.

-Joey B

The Situation With the UFC’s First ESPN+ Card is Officially Nuts

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Yesterday morning, I sat down at this very keyboard and wrote out what I thought was a solid blog regarding the next UFC Fight Night in Brooklyn, which also happens to be the UFC’s first card on ESPN+ as part of the new UFC-ESPN deal. Well, that blog got deleted instead of being sent to Red for publishing. Fuck. Fate seems to have intervened, as it does however, and a whirlwind of announcements have been made since. Hard to tell where to begin.

What I wrote about yesterday was the UFC insensitively booking Greg Hardy’s debut for the Brooklyn card when the only other fight scheduled (at.the.time) was Paige Van Zant vs. Rachel Ostovich. Ostovich, if you don’t know, is the fighter who came into the public consciousness recently for the worst reasons, having been the victim of a brutal attack at the hands of her husband, a fellow MMA fighter. I mean, he broke her orbital bone. Ghastly stuff. But she’s a fighter, and fighters fight, and she decided to stay on the card, So what does the UFC do? O, only books a guy convicted of beating, strangling, and tossing, onto a bed laden with guns no less, his girlfriend. Best case scenario this was just a massive missed communication – not a misspelling by the way, I don’t mean signals crossed, I mean signals missed altogether. Worst case the UFC went too far with their “everybody deserves a second chance” stance on Hardy and this being a big event, decided it shouldn’t matter who he fights alongside. What I think they might do, given the backlash, is move his fight to a different card. Make the guy wait and excuse yourself with an “aw shucks” shrug. That will be enough. No need for a gigantic, phony public apology. If Ostovich raises hell however they are going to be in quite the spot with the press and fans alike.

That was supposed to be it. The Hardy-Ostovich story. But noooope. This card curiously lacked a headliner. What did the UFC do? They only moved the biggest fight they currently have booked, the Champ vs. Champ 125lb Title Fight between Henry Cejudo and T.J Dillashaw, to the top of this card, taking it from an uncomfortable spectacle on paper to the makings of a barn-burner. I mean this fight is not getting 1/100 the attention it deserves. In Cejudo you have a guy that should be getting all the love in the world; someone who has been the best in the world at every stage in the game, from Olympic gold medalist to UFC Champion after dethroning long-time, immovable champion Demetrious Johnson. In T.J Dillashaw you have a true blue nightmare at 135lbs; another excellent wrestler who under the tutelage of Duane Ludwig has rebuilt himself into a shape-shifting, ultra slick, world-class kickboxer that just simply freezes people. This fight is going to be insane. (Side Note: This leave UFC 233 without a headliner. Cormier-Lesn……?)

To round out yesterday’s announcement The UFC shifted a pivotal  women’s flyweight division fight from UFC 233 to the Brooklyn card. This one pits Arianne “Violence Queen” Lipski, who has only met a couple of opponents she couldn’t finish, against fan favorite Joanne Calderwood, who has only met a couple coaches she couldn’t fuck. The winner of this one is probably neck-and-neck with or just below Jessica Andrade for a shot at Cashmeouside for the Women’s Flyweight Championship.

When all is said and done this Brooklyn/ESPN+ card has gone from kind of bizarre to almost a real UFC MMA card. It still, in my opinion, needs a solid fight or two to make it worth tuning into for more than Cejudo-Killashaw, but they are this close. Wild night indeed.

The 300s Bloggers’ James Develin is a Playmaker Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 13

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Welcome back. Another week and another 3 days of the highest of highs and lowest of lows. We laughed, we cried, we screamed at the tv/computer screen, terrifying dogs and neighbors alike. Fantasy amiright?!

The two most important things to note about this past week in the NF of L was that A.) Tom Brady has more career rushing yards than Sony Michel. Which is just embarrassing; and B.) James Develin is becoming a legitimate red zone threat which, laugh at it or not, frees up other skill position players for opportunities. In the words of Aubrey, “YEEEaaa, be very afraid.”

Red

I got NINETEEN points from my kicker this past week to just barely squeak out a win. Alas, I missed the playoffs by one game, primarily because Matt Stafford hosed me last week and multiple times throughout the season. But thats what happens when you click the wrong thing and accidentally draft an asshole in the 8th round. They say a pictures worth a thousand words and Yahoo helped me summarize my season in just one image.

Papa G

Blogger’s Note: That was seriously all Papa G submitted. Please keep him in your thoughts.

Big Z

The Z-Men won 121-98 in Week 13, led once again by Christian McCaffrey who put up a cool 25 points. James Conner iced the match Sunday night with two early touchdowns. The win is my squad’s 6th in 7 weeks, enough to improve to 9-4 on the season and secure a first round bye in the fantasy playoffs.

The bye week is huge because it guarantees me a “bowl game” and a crack at at least getting my money back. Let’s just hope I don’t run up two bills in my bye week and run out of gas down the stretch for a second-straight season.

Joey B

I lost again and am last in both pure record and points for for the year. I don’t know where it all went so, so wrong. Fuck you Matthew Stafford. Fuck you Jordan Howard. Fuck every WR not named Michael Thomas.

Mattes

So I failed to make the playoffs in both leagues, and it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning. For a guy who invests way more time than the average person following fantasy football and searching the depths of the Internet for any and all things related to it – no, seriously, it might be actually be a problem – this one really hurts. It’s not like my teams were all that bad either; I was top-three in points against in both leagues, and I lost two games by less than a point while freakin’ TYING another. I know I sound like a dope making excuses right now, but I picked up guys like Aaron Jones, D.J. Moore, Josh Adams, and Tarik Cohen this year, playing the wire like a fiddle all year long. But in fantasy as well as life, it’s all about who you’re matched up against, and it just wasn’t my year. I can still win the loser’s bracket in each league, starting with a first-round matchup against Red this week in one of them. I guess that’s something.

Urban Meyer to Retire After the Rose Bowl….But For How Long?

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10TV – The Ohio State athletics department announces that head coach Urban Meyer will announce his retirement on Tuesday afternoon.

All in all this is just plain confusing. There was speculation Meyer was not feeling too hot a few weeks ago but to most non-lunatic eyes it looked like he was just another overly exasperated coach. Ho hum. Now he is retiring, on the precipice of a Rose Bowl, so maybe he wasn’t doing so hot? Or maybe getting players to come to fucking Ohio just isn’t as easy as Florida? Who knows.

Red doesn’t like me inserting my own biases to bash people on here, but I’m being about as neutral as possible when I say Urban Meyer is the most hateable person in college football next to Nick Saban. Between “leaving Florida for his health” after Tebow was gone to never actually developing his beloved Tebow to be an NFL QB in the first place, to kind of just coming off as a dbag, there really isn’t a whole lot to like. He’s been successful, sure, from Utah all the way up to Ohio State, but not without controversy (Aaron Hernandez, his asshole of a domestic abuser coach this year etc.) and not without just sort of rubbing people the wrong way.

So now that he is “retiring” from Ohio State, what is his next move really? One would assume his first stop is back in the TV studio/booth, but how about after that? My bet? I could see one of the premier teams that have about a season’s left of patience with their current coach reaching out to Urban Meyer after this year. Think LSU, Texas, USC, one of those. At that point he’ll be suddenly 100% healthy and ready to turn a blind eye to battering coaches and homicidal players alike.

I don’t know which would be less shocking, his come back or this “retirement”/

 

-Joey B

 

This is an INSANE Weekend for Combat Sports

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For those of us that love the world of MMA, there occasionally comes a weekend like this where there are multiple cards on multiple days and you can kind of just plan a lazy weekend around watching a steady stream of violent athleticism on both the feet and the ground.

Even rarer still comes the Friday-Sunday run of both MMA and a boxing match that even a casual fan wants to tune into. And we have just that this weekend. Not one but two UFC cards and the hotly anticipated heavyweight title fight between Tyson Fury and Deontay Wilder. Sure, The Saturday UFC card goes head to head with Fury vs. Wilder, but one can always rig up a stream of the FS1 card card. Plus I doubt the boxing goes off until like, 1 or 2 in the morning because boxing is batshit like that (Note: Red is seething reading through this because we once stayed at a bar until 3:00am to watch Ronda Rousey only to have her knock out her opponent in like, 15 seconds).

To get into the nitty gritty, we kick off our weekend of pugilistic omnipresence with the finale of the most recent, and possibly last (???????) rendition of “The Ultimate Fighter”. I honestly haven’t seen an episode which always makes me sad. As much hate as it gets I do think it’s a pretty enjoyable show. This season they had heavyweights on which makes it even more intriguing as it puts the “big brawler vs. talented martial artists/athletes” question under the microscope. Did I mention the other weight class they had was women’s featherweights? The seemingly non-existent weight class occupied by Cyroid? So ya, bit of a circus this one.

The HW final is between Justin Frazier, 29, from Alaska who brings a 3-fight win streak into the contest. His opponent is a Spaniard with a long-ass name (Juan being the first part) who is 38 but only has one loss to his credit. It looks to be striker vs. grappler so I am going to just guess the Alaskan clubs him with one. The women’s final is Pannie Kinzad, a known quantity in Women’s MMA vs. Macy Chiasson, a slightly more unknown fighter. I have Kinzad, who I believe held an Invicta belt at one point. The Main Event of this one pits Rafael dos Anjos against Kamaru Usman in a pivotal 170lb clash. After what happened against Colby Covington I just can’t take RDA, who I fucking love. Usman by UD.

Wake up, watch some college football, and then it is on to UFC Fight Night: Dos Santos vs. Tuivasa. The first notable fight is what the man himself has said will be Mark Hunt’s last MMA fight. He fights AKA prospect Justin “Big Pretty” Willis and honestly I don’t think the Super Samoan has anything left at this point. Willis by KO in RD2. Next is Shogun against Tyson Pedro. I LOVE Pedro as a prospect, mostly for his size and penchant for violence, but he keeps stumbling and seems to not have much in the grappling department. Shogun, while a blackbelt in BJJ, won’t really go after a sub. He is, however, a world class kickboxer and I think gets the UD here over the greener Pedro. The main event, as mentioned pits Junior dos Santos against Tai “Bam Bam” Tuivasa. I think this one goes like any other “Cigano” fight against someone not named Velasquez, Miocic, or Overeem. Basically, unless you have technical assets better than JDS’, he is a very hard out. JDS by UD.

Finally, we have Fury vs. Wilder. Not only is this a long awaited fight, but it is so in part due to a complete mental breakdown/run of addiction on Fury’s parts that saw him weigh 400lbs and have most folks just figure his career was over. And all of this after just beating Klitschko. I will preface anything else I say with the fact that I DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BOXING I AM JUST TRYING MY BEST. To beat Klitchsko you have to have some great technical ability and from I’ve read Fury is indeed an excellent technician and can change his approach based on opponent. I’ve watched Wilder fight and he pretty much just tries to take you’re fucking head off. something which he is VERY good at doing. That said, I don’t think Fury engages in a brawl and I think Wilder fails to clip him. Fury by UD.

At this point it will be Sunday and you will be hungover and exhausted and wondering what happened but hey, that’s the price of the clash of many titans. So whether you like it when they just bleed or fail to protect they neck, this should be a fun few days.

Enjoy,

-Joey B

 

 

The UFC’s Solution To Eye Pokes Just Might Be Kitten Mittens

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Image result for kitten mittens

Sherdog – Glove design has been a topic of controversy in the Ultimate Fighting Championship for years, with the organization’s current design receiving blame for the prevalence of inadvertent eye pokes….

……”That’s a real problem, man, and there is a solution in the works,” Rogan said. “I can’t talk about it. I’m sworn to secrecy. They have a better glove design that they’re working on right now. I’ve already said too much. I’m sworn to secrecy.”

So there is obviously a serious fight fan piece of this as well as a kind of humorous piece where they can’t seem to figure out how to stop adults in a fist fight from poking each other in the eyes.

The major first step they took fairly recently is having points deducted for extending the arm with the fingers open. I thought this was a great changing where it still allowed fighters to measure distance and keep an opponent at bay while not putting that same opponent at risk. The problem with that is that, like a lot of things that happens within the cage, it is up to the referee’s discretion and most if not all refs just don’t want to take points away from a fighter, which is understandable and to a point commendable. To that end something has to be done because eye pokes are still a gigantic issue that affect not only the immediate fight, but the income and near and long-term career of the fighter.

So what now? KITTEN MITTENS, THAT’S WHAT. The very same genius creation that allows evil felines to go about their business quietly are also pliable enough to allow for grappling while keeping the fingers closed and covered. The Diaz Brothers will be throwing the quietest Stockton Slaps ever when they get their hands into a pair of American-made kitten mittens.

In all seriousness a mitten-like design is what we are probably looking at, if not one that holds groups of fingers together like the Star Trek “v”. It’ll be interesting to see what they come up with.

-Joey B

The 300s Bloggers’ “HAHA EAT IT MANISH MEHTA” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 12

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Image result for gronk touchdown week 12

The thing about New York sports fans is that they REALLY show up for their own. They think their players, coaches, and, for whatever reason, sports media personalities are Gods amongst men. Like there is a CONVENTION for Mike Francesa fans. To repeat, a sports radio show host has his own convention. It is kind of bizarre and really not relatable for those of us outside of the tri-state area.

Which is why it really says something that even New Yorkers hate Manish Mehta. He is a troll through and through that is not as much of a troll sports writer as he is a troll writer who decided to apply his trolliness to sports. Gross.

And he recently came for Gronk. Said he was washed and done and sad and depressed. Well, unfortunately for M-Squared Gronk came back Sunday and the Pats beat the Jets. There was a Gronk-spike and all.

Gronks have 87 lives, motherfucker.

Red

This is it. It took 12 weeks, but I am breaking up with Matt Stafford. After burying any chance I had before the turkey was even on the table with 7 points on Thursday, I am breaking it off. This is likely the last shot I had at the playoffs as even an average performance from Stafford gives me the win. I may just start an empty QB slot moving forward in a silent protest.

 

Joey B

I’m officially out of it so this shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter that I lost a BARN BURNER with a final score of 60-51 (nope, no one forgot to set their line-ups). But I forgot to put in Gronk. Those points would have given me the win. Forgive me big man.

 

Papa G

It’s curtains for my fantasy teams. Shout out to Fournette getting suspended too. Appreciate the self-control. We’ve officially moved into “who should I pick for my keepers” mode. TRASH.

 

Mattes

I’d like to start off this week by apologizing to one Amari Cooper. Since becoming a Cowboy, the man has averaged 17 points a game, which included a bananas 38-point showing on Turkey Day. That performance helped me beat Papa Giorgio this week, finally giving my suddenly resurgent team more than one measly win on the year and potentially playing spoiler for my fellow blogger’s season. I have changed my team name to “Amari’s Resurrection” in his honor. Maybe Oakland really does just suck THAT bad.

A couple “coulda, woulda, shouldas” sank my other team this week. I went for the upside with Lamar Jackson as my QB2 behind Rivers, but the extra 10 from Cousins, who was on my bench, would’ve given me the win. Or maybe playing Aaron Jones over Mark Ingram this week would’ve done it, too. I now need to win this week and have two other teams lose to get into the postseason. I’m literally hanging on by the short and curlies right now.

 

Big Z

With another big win in Week 12, the Z-Men have won 5 of their last 6. Fantasy football isn’t that hard when you get steady quarterback play, contributions from a few wide receivers, and 43 points out of Christian McCaffrey.

A win in Week 13 will lock up a first round bye and a guaranteed crack at some prize money. LET’S GO!

-Joey B
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