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Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody.

Views from the 617.

Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.

People In The Bay Area Are Returning Huskies At An Alarming Rate Once They Realize They Do Not Want Their Own Direwolf

ABC – A Bay Area dog rescue club says the popular show, ‘Game of Thrones’ is leading to more dog surrenders, especially ones that look like the show’s popular Direwolves. “They’d be like, ‘Oh wow, Direwolves.'” Patty LaCava could barely make it around a San Francisco block with her two huskies when “Game of Thrones” debuted.

As I pondered this article upon reading it, the “Game Of Thrones” theme music began playing in my head, as it tends to do. That foreboding musical preview of a bloody, relentless fight for power flowed note for note through my cranium, and I imagined it ending with an opening scene set not in a medieval village or castle where Lords and Ladies argued over alliances, battles, and political strategy, but in a hip coffee shop on a hill where a beat poet rallied against climate change and techies discussed new frontiers of engineering and, well, political strategy.

Needless to say it didn’t fit. And neither does large fucking wolf-dogs in the middle of a city. Huskies need room to exercise and wander and the like. A 1 bedroom apartment that may be near a BART stop but that adds up to a generous 300 sq feet isn’t exactly ideal, even if it is close to the same dog park the cute girl from the biergarten goes to.

This reminds me of when “Sons Of Anarchy” was popular and all of a sudden “Jackson” shot to the top of the list of most popular baby names. All of us on the outside looking in sort of just chuckled knowing that a.) in a a few years context would be forgotten or embarrassingly ignored and b.)these people would some day have to explain to their kid they were named after a murderous biker their parents for some reason deified. Nice work.

So word to the wise folks, don’t get caught up in the majesty of GOT. Don’t buy a Husky if you live in a studio and don’t buy a sword. At all. Leave the adventures in high-fantasy to the people best suited for it – highly paid actors who prefer Shih Tzus.

Sara McMann Moves To Team Alpha Male Ahead Of UFC 215

Sara McMann, 2004 USA Olympic silver medalist in freestyle wrestling, has been getting a lot of attention the past couple of weeks, and rightfully so. Some of it has to do with the excellence she displays inside the cage, some of it with the perseverance and strength she shows outside of it. In terms of Sara McMann the person, there was this piece in the Washington Post detailing McMann’s perpetual uphill battle against a litany of painful personal traumas, a new one seeming to spring up around every corner. I read something like this and as a mere mortal cannot conceive going about my normal, every day, cubicle dwelling (I actually have an office now NBD) life with these kinds of experiences weighing me down, let alone perpetually grinding to be a championship-level athlete. In discussing McMann the fighter, she is just that – championship caliber – and at almost 37 is making one last push to secure herself a UFC championship, something she failed once to do against the then-dominant Ronda Rousey. This time around, she is making a very strategic, drastic change to her preparation to ensure she attains gold.

For her UFC 215 fight against Ketlen Vieira, a bout that feels like it has received a new date 500 times, McMann has picked up her life, including her young daughter, and moved her camp to Team Alpha Male. This is a PERFECT situation for her. The Northern California gym has long taken high level wrestlers, names among which Sara McMann indeed still stands out, and integrates a style of striking and phase-changing that compliments that wrestling without hurting its effectiveness. Not only will McMann’s always-improving striking continue to get sharper, but certain aspects of her game that the folks at Alpha Male specialize in, such as scrambles, will make huge leaps as well. My only slight concern is the lack of sparring partners in her weight class, who are female at least. Alpha Male has some excellent female talent but they seem to be concentrated at the 115ish level. That isn’t to say McMann can’t hang with the boys at 135, but there are always injury risks, etc. associated with that sort of thing not to mention simple personal discomfort a male fighter might have at going 100% at a female. I don’t see this being a huge issue however as Alpha Male has always been an insanely competitive gym without becoming susceptible to the injury bug as some gyms have. More to the point, despite this lack of training maladies that are associated with a good, hard camp, their fighters are always some of the most well-prepared.

I’m biased because I love Sara McMann – her attitude, her fighting style, and ya, her resilience – but I think this is an excellent move. I thought she’d be the one to dethrone Rousey and although I’m a fan of Amanda Nunes, I think McMann has the strength and agility to beat her as well. If any updates come out regarding her time in the sunshine state I’ll certainly provide them but if not, here’s to THE Sara McMann getting it done at UFC 215.

Not Sure Where This Sits On The 0-Assasination Scale But Apparently Lana Del Rey Is Trying Put A Curse On The President

Dazed Digital –Lana Del Rey has dropped heavy hints about her plans to take part in a magic mass “binding” ritual against Donald Trump today. The singer shared a cryptic series of dates – “Feb 24, March 26, April 24, May 23” – on her Twitter account earlier this morning, along with clue: “Ingredients can b found online.” While fans initially thought the post was something to do with the release of Rey’s new album, it was quickly linked to an anti-Trump witchcraft ritual.

There is….a lot to unpack here folks. It’s past 3 pm and I don’t want to think, let alone blog. I have about 5 more queued up that I won’t get to. But I can’t let this one go. It just has me. So I’ll give it a shot.

Lana Del Rey has always been a weird bird. She’s just a bit of a space cadet and doesn’t really seem, present, I guess. She’s like a musical Luna Lovegood. In fact, A lot of people suspect “Lana Del Rey” is more of a character, a performance art piece, than just a stage name. Think Andrew W-K-esque

Even if that’s true. Even if Lana Del Rey is a character portrayed by Elizabeth Grant, this is still a weird fucking move. For a couple reasons:

Firstly, it’s just an odd PR move in general. Character or not Lana Del Rey has done a lot to keep herself in the public eye and “make it” as a musician. Doing something as risky as both alienating half the political spectrum and professing a proclivity for the occult in one fell sweep just isn’t a smart play when folks like Halsey, Elle King, and Tove Lo are running laps around your ass.

Next, there is the fact that it’s more than her involved in this thing. There is actually a worldwide contingency of people that think if they make hand puppets at the moon something bad will happen to POTUS or he will be removed from office or something. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I am a total non-believer of the supernatural, but fringe members of society arranging a telepathic, lunar version of Hands Across America isn’t going to cut it when to comes to bringing down the most powerful man in the world.

So it remains to be seen how this all plays out for our girl Lana. N. Korea is firing off a new cruise missile every day so if this is a legit thing she isn’t doing a very good fucking job. All in all this is probably just a play to sell some tickets. Come for the songs, stay for a possible sighting of the 4th Sanderson Sister.

 

Tyron Woodley Threatens To “Leak Some Shit” If He Doesn’t Get A Personal Apology From Dana White

So after UFC 214 Dana White slammed Tyron Woodley’s performance for being boring. I saw it as more of an excuse to re-greenlight the GSP-Bisping fight but it was still some harsh criticism of a guy who just stuffed 21 takedowns. While White is not totally wrong, thus is the nature of a multi-disciplined combat sport. Weary of the one thing Maia could beat him with, putting him on his back and either submitting him or grinding him too a pulp, Woodley fought intelligently, defending takedowns and working the body and sometimes head as necessary. Watching from 300s HQ, I understood why people were pissed, but also understood Woodley’s game. That’s why the strap is still around his waist, after all.

As for his threats, they are interesting to say the least. First off this is NOT how you come to an understanding with Dana White. He has much too much pride and unbridled bravado to bow down to a fighter he is unhappy with, let alone one he believes may have cost him future dollars. Secondly, it is fun to wonder what this information”The Chosen One” has is. Allow me to take a few guesses….

1.)The McGregor Knockout Footage

I did a quick skim of a couple keyboard warrior message boards and this came up a few times – that maybe Tyron Woodley would leak video of Conor McGregor getting knocked out. I’m not sold on this though as it seems a stretch as to how Woodley would have come into possession of it.

2.)Some Shady USADA Shit

Given some interesting anomalies with how CyRoid and Brock Lesnar were treated recently, I wouldn’t be shocked if Woodley had some sensitive info pertaining to a few folks who popped positive for something but were given a pass. You see folks, a lot of people assume that since USADA has “United States” in the title that is either/or an official Government or another kind of organization of the utmost repute. Well surprise! It’s not. It’s a completely private company that has done sketchy shit in the past, including the infamous Floyd Mayweather IV scandal. Hmm, come to think of it, isn’t Floyd fighting a friend of Dana White’s soon?

Quick note on Lesnar – I could even see Brock, before UFC 200, straight up telling the UFC he was on a cycle and them kind of shrugging, putting Mark Hunt at risk.

3.)Gym Deals Or Otherwise Sketchy Promotional Tactics

I’ve said in the past the simplest answer is usually the right one, and this could be the case here. If fighter X from gym/management company Y fights on this date against this opponent, The UFC will do 1,2, and 3 for another fighter from that gym/management company. Something like that.

5.)Ignoring Concussions/Injuries

Another simple answer. Dana White and/or other members of UFC Management knew certain fighters were hurt and either…

-Made them/pressured them to fight
-Allowed them to fight when they shouldn’t have
-kept the knowledge secret longer then they should have in terms of the fighters opponent and the event, maybe for monetary purposes. Dillashaw vs. Garbrandt comes to mind.

4.)In-Fight Rigging

More and more recently certain fights, in and outside the UFC, have been accused of being works. Sonnen vs. Ortiz, for example. I want to go on the record as saying I don’t believe it but if Woodley could prove this, it would be explosive. Game-changing even. However, this would hurt Woodley as well as it would negatively effect the entity, and sport, that cuts his checks. That said, it’d be mighty interesting to find out that Correia Vs. Rousey wasn’t all it was cracked up to be or there was a reason CyRoid didn’t jump on Evinger when she first knocked her down on Saturday (WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THAT?!).

All in all it is going to be a VERY interesting to see how this all plays out. After a long period of frustration with how he is treated, Tyron Woodley seems to finally have snapped. With that said he is waging a war against a man with a ton of experience fighting his battles publicly, which is never an edge you want to give.

FloCombat Just Posted This Video Of A UFC 178 Pre-Fight Press Engagement….Listen To The End

…Just really spooky. Jones probably has had that in his back pocket ever since. Insane how cerebral some of these guys are on top of their immense physical talents.

George Costanza Protege Danny Tartabull Calls Cops, Forgetting That He Himself Is On The Run

Yahoo –  Danny Tartabull was finally arrested by police Wednesday after more than five years on the run. The former New York Yankees and Kansas City Royals outfielder was caught after he called the cops, according to TMZ.

Tartabull wasn’t calling police to turn himself in, though. He was calling them to report that someone broke into his car. Cops ran his name when they arrived at the scene and realized there was a warrant out for Tartabull’s arrest.

This is just incredible. Not just because of the basics of the story itself, which are indeed awesome – a non-pro athlete nobody calling the cops when he himself is wanted is still an absolute hoot – but a pro athlete from the 90’s who guested on “Seinfeld” getting caught in a self-devised sting – a scenario that very well could serve as a “Seinfeld” episode? Now we are in the “GOLD BLOG CONTENT” category.

Really though, I feel for my man Danny Tartabull, and not just because I had his card growing up and I thought he looked like a badass with that face full of chew. I feel for him because I too lose all sense of reality and rationality when my car situation gets fucked up. Tickets, towed, fender benders, the one time I thought it was stolen (had taken a cab home drunk, was looking for it on the wrong street). Any and all the above happens and I lose my fucking mind. It sucks. It just brings your day to a screeching halt. Us city dwellers don’t always need our cars, but when we need them, we absolutely need them. If I can Lyft or T-it I will rather than drive 100000% percent of the time. But if I have to be somewhere not applicable to other means of transport, I fully need and expect access to my car. That said I’m sure Danny Tartabull was fucking pissed his carefully planned day was washed by someone swiping his car and called the authorities, with the 2% chance they’d find his car with enough daylight left to accomplish even half his day’s to-do list, in mind. It just so happened he himself was wanted by said authorities and they locked him up. The real shame is that George gave Tartabull tips on his at bats instead of tips on how to get out of an unavoidable arrest. The Summer of Danny it is not.

P.S: This episode would be the called “The Warrant(s)”.

 

Making Sense Of This Weekend

Image result for mondays grr meme ted

I might start doing this on Monday’s – just quick hits to digest stuff that happened over the weekend. There is a lot that goes down when I’m not attached to this keyboard that is still worth addressing. So now that I’m back on the grind almost rid of the 2 day hangovers I’m blessed with, let’s get to it.


Jon Jones Is Probably The GOAT But Made A Crucial Error

“Bones” beat Daniel Cormier again, this time finishing him to reclaim the UFC Light-Heavyweight title. I think it’s starting to look like we need to anoint Jones the GOAT, as he made another contender for that title look completely human. Good for Jon Jones for getting it together.

On the other hand he screwed up the post-fight presser. I know the Brock Lesnar fight would be huge, I know Jones wants a huge fight, and I know Stipe Miocic is not that well-known of a name yet. That’s all fine and good. However, Lesnar can’t fight until the end of this year or early next year. Jones and Miocic are both sort of hard up for contenders, unless Jones wants to rematch Alexander Gustaffson. Therefore, a super-fight with the reigning UFC Heavyweight Champion, Miocic, would have been an easy and logical fight to sell – Jones’ first and long awaited foray into the heavyweight division against the current baddest man on the planet. Well, this fight is kind of hard to make now that “Bones” pretty much trashed it at his post-fight presser, stating Miocic isn’t well known enough and so it wouldn’t really be a super-fight. Maybe you don’t flee crashed vehicles anymore but your decision making still sucks, Mr. Jones.

And Now His Watch Has Ended

Rob Ninkovich retiring is truly the end of an era. He is a textbook example of a Belichick success story – a late round pick and unspectacular player who comes into the Pats’ system, works hard, plays his role, and succeeds. He played both Defensive End and Linebacker without ever complaining about the constant shifts, almost wearing his being taken for granted as a badge of honor. He helped bring us two titles and made a slew of big plays. Hopefully the proud Purdue Boilermaker sticks around to mentor, etc. as if every young player had his work ethic and attitude, the team would be better for it. Thanks, Ninko.

The Sox Clubhouse Would Appear To Be A Mess

We’re only a half-game back and I guess things could get better, but things look ugly in Boston. We knew there was a chance this could happen. Dombrowski’s MO in the past has been to gut a farm system for “win now” players with it being a toss up whether or not those teams actually won. Devers and Nunez I’m actually optimistic about but our pitching staff is a completely different story. Add that to the fact that Dombrowski didn’t even attempt to get Pat Neshek among others to strengthen the bullpen and it’s looking a bit grim. BUT HEY PATS TRAINING CAMP STARTED! FOOTBALL IN A COUPLE MONTHS!


I Have No Fucking Clue What Is Happening On Game Of Thrones

If Dougie doesn’t have a dominoes tournament or something this week we’ll get a pod up to discuss this further, but this is the first time I’m totally lost when it comes to GOT. In the past, even amidst chaos there was a logical, intuitive path you could foresee them taking. Now there isn’t one. Everyone’s dead, or dying, or stuck in neutral, or mind-DVR’ing their sister’s wedding night rape. Just all over the fucking place. Hopefully the next couple of week clears thing sup a bit.

North Korea Has Zero Chill

Having no respect for human life is one thing. Having no respect for the weekend, a time to kick, have a few brews, and not worry about intercontinental ballistic missiles coming out of the clouds is not something I will stand for.

Steph Curry Shitting On Lebron Filled Me With Joy

Chef Curry just confirmed that athletes think the same things about Lebron that sane normal people do: that he’s an insufferable, awkward, try-hard who needs to be relentlessly mocked into silence. Lebron is the rare example of a human that should be bullied. Cyberly. In-person. I don’t care. You just got clowned on by the skinny kid from Davidson. Fuck you LBJ.

The Broncos Stadium Still Doesn’t Have A Name, Let’s Take A Crack At It

Broncos still haven’t re-sold stadium naming rights

So the Sports Authority, much like Blockbuster and countless other brick and mortar stores before, went out of business fairly recently due to it being completely obsolete. This is an issue for the Denver Broncos as Sports Authority had the naming rights to the Broncos stadium, which they now obviously can’t pay, thus rendering the stadium nameless. Now Denver has a large chunk of lost revenue they are sitting on as they still haven’t inked a new deal with another entity to name the stadium after. Let’s give them a hand!

1.) Alphabet Field

Soon enough Google and it’s parent company are going to run the world via a search engine-centric version of the Hunger Games universe so why not just stop resisting now? Anyone coming in or out can be scanned for everything they like and dislike, can be implanted with a GPS tracking chip (anyone with a mustache can’t get a home loan anywhere near a school, that sort of idea), and maybe the folks in Silicon Valley can even pick mates for us “The Giver” style. It’s called fucking evolution people. (Elon Musk is going to be super mad he didn’t think of this).

2.) Backpage.com Stadium

I’m actually a pretty big proponent of legalizing prostitution. It’s simple really. If people got laid more they’d be less angry and less apt to do some of the more crazy, irrational shit we see on the news ever day. To that end lets make it easier for those who have trouble finding a partner for the horizontal tango by allowing them to rent one. Backpage, completely off the official record mind you, seems to be the go to place to find a hooker these days so let’s take the first step and name a stadium after it, get the word out there. C’mon Denver, you’re a progressive city.

3.) Pot Field

Ya I mean I really don’t have a joke here. Nothing clever. They’ve all been made. Colorado just loves weed.

4.) Vegan-Crossfit Stadium

This is the best of the bunch in my opinion, maybe the best idea I’ve ever had, period. Slap this name on the stadium. Offer tofu burgers and kale and shit to eat and dead-lift stations instead of VIP clubs and bars. Then when all of those obnoxious fucking people who don’t shut the fuck up about biologically flawed lifestyle choices enter the stadium and sit down for the game, we lock the fucking doors. Forever. Don’t starve them, don’t torture them. Feed them. Allow them to be. Allow them to thrive. Just nowhere near mainstream society.

So that’s it. Four ideas of what to name the Broncos stadium. Get this to John Elway.

The 300s UFC 214 Preview

Image result for jones cormier 214 staredown

Hoooo baby here we go. The best card of the year featuring possibly the most storied grudge match of our time. Coming live from Anaheim, UFC 214 boasts 3 title fights, 2 additional fights pitting two top-10 fighters from a division against each other, and as I mentioned earlier this week, a slew of opportunities for nearly-there contenders to make their presence felt. Let’s do it!

 

The Main Event

The UFC 214 Main Event puts two fighters against each other who have the utmost contempt for each other. In this Light-Heavyweight Championship clash between champion Daniel Cormier and former champion Jon Jones, the loathing between the two fighters hangs in the air as heavy as the summer’s humidity. It’s not even an explosive hatred as it once was – sending Dave Sholler through a fake photo op wall. It’s a hardened unpleasantness, like a molten lava-based resentment slowly cascading toward Saturday night.

In one corner you have “DC”, the former Olympic hopeful and dominant heavyweight, even winning and defending that belt in Strikeforce. When he arrived in  the UFC he decided to downshift, painstakingly, to 205lbs as his teammate Cain Velasquez was the Heavyweight Champion at the time. The late-in-life (first pro fight at age 30) MMA ace has only lost once, to Jon Jones in his first attempt to win the 205lb title. Back when the hate was still fresh.

Jones’ story is the opposite of Cormier’s. He’s a true prodigy. He is the youngest champion the UFC has ever seen, winning the UFC 205lb belt at 23. He defended it 8 times, capped by the aforementioned win over Cormier, only to throw it all away. There was a positive test for Cocaine. There was a planned rematch with “DC” on the “biggest card ever”, UFC 200, that was scrapped 72 hours prior when Jones tested positive for what at the time appeared to be PEDs. There was a hit and run (on foot) involving a pregnant woman, after which he was stripped of the belt. It seemed like Jon Jones would lose it all forever, and it seemed like he didn’t care.

Now they meet again. Cormier out to prove he has what it takes to beat Jones. Jones out to prove he is not only on the straight and narrow, but is still the dominant fighter he once was. The hate may not be as fresh, but it is still palpable.

There really is only one major issue in getting hype for this fight: the first one was a snoozer. Jones was largely dominant from beginning to end and there never was a ton of action, at least not the frenetic kind we’re used to inside the octagon. “DC” seemed burnt out by then, physically and mentally. He was hesitant to engage to an extent and quick to back off when he did. We can only hope now for a more exciting rematch. Jones says he is clean and Cormier, now having the belt himself, appears confident; not as concerned with the drama surrounding them. It’s confounding indeed though, this rematch taking place with “DC” now the champ – having beat Anthony Johnson after Jones was stripped – and Jones the challenger without ever having lost.

In terms of what happens when he actually gets to it, “DC”, a Former Olympic wrestler and American Kickboxing Academy standout is, to put it in simple terms, a load. He seeks to wear out his opponent in whichever phase they find themselves in, although he favors two of these phases the most. In terms of what he is credentialed in, Olympic-wise, his wrestling is set up using sound boxing and forward movement, snatching, when in position, what is normally a high crotch or a body-lock, the latter of which he will use to make his opponent wear his weight from a standing position until he finds a trip or a throw. On the ground Cormier makes for a most heavy and uncomfortable blanket, suffocating his opponents while unleashing brutal ground and bound and keeping his eyes open for his patented rear-naked choke. The champion is also a beast in the clinch, the other phase he absolutely loves. Shorter men tend to thrive in the clinch, especially ones as strong as Cormier, as they can simply reach up and use the organic leverage they find to pull their opponent’s head down and control them. From this position, Cormier will use elbows, punches, and knees – whichever and whatever is available – to punish his foe. He will also hit trips and/or the previously mentioned high-crotch from this position to bring the fight to the ground. I’m not jealous of anyone who has to be in close quarters with a 5’11 former heavyweight. His stature is Cormier’s only weakness, really, with rangier opponents such as Jones and Alexander Gustaffson able to hit him from a distance.

Across from Cormier is an unenviable riddle to solve. Really what is there to say about Jon Jones? He out-wrestles wrestlers and out-strikes strikers. In terms of the former, Jones employs primarily body locks, from which he’ll hit anything ranging from hip tosses to lateral drops, and double legs, mostly of the turn-the corner variety. There has also been occasions where he’ll casually score a knee-pick turned unto a knee-tap double. In terms of striking, “Bones” is very well-known for his oblique kick, a move that is always an injury risk for his opponent (due to where it lands, just above the knee) and he is therefore criticized for. It is legal all the same. He throws this kick from the side or as a forward facing Thai-style teep, using either his front or rear leg, while at range or leaping forward. Fun. Jones Also employs probing jabs to keep his opponents at range, waiting for an opportunity to smash them with one of his signature elbows, of either the spinning or straight-on variety. When his opponents hit the ground, via either his wrestling or strikes, he lays in with truly vicious elbows and constant submission attempts, just as apt to get the stoppage via strikes as a choke. Jones weaknesses are hard to pinpoint. I suppose he takes his dominance for granted sometimes and gets tagged due to complacency. To this end he is also susceptible to offense when his opponent is not as overwhelmed as he thinks they are and they are able to land.

Summary: I’m not going to keep blathering on. While the champion is without a doubt one of the better fighters of our time, Jones is again in his head and is just a bad match-up, as long and fight-saavy as he is. Jones by UD.

Fan/MMA Nerd Fight of the Night

The welterweight bout between Robbie Lawler and Donald Cerrone might be the most interesting, high-stakes fight between two guys coming off a loss I can remember. Lawler returns a year after losing his title in a fight he perhaps should have waited to take. Cerrone also may have been a victim of activity and looks to jump back into contention under the bright lights he seems to loathe. Despite both losing their last fight the winner of this one could very well either be given a title shot or earn their way to one through a live mic, and they surely would not be more than one more win away. Though both combatants have a ground game (Cerrone’s is the better of the two) this one is going to be contested on the feet.

Lawler – In interviews and outside the cage, Lawler is placid – he is quiet, chill, relaxed. Then the cage door locks and he goes from surfer bro to savage. Stylistically the southpaw Lawler has a heavy reliance on his hands, particularly that anvil of a piston-like left. Although known for when it lands as a straight, Lawler will also throw his power hand as an uppercut, particularly in close quarters. He likes to set it up with a right hook – either a fairly standard one or a sort of looping, overhand technique – although it could comes from anywhere. The left hand is not Lawler’s only weapon, though. The lower body of Robbie Lawler is also something you have to watch out for. He likes to and will throw knees, as Jake Ellenberger, among others, learned the hard way. He also has developed a left high kick, which both serves to earn the finish (Bobby Voelker fight) or as simply another atomic weapon his opponent has to worry about defending while Lawler looks to land something else. “Ruthless” also has a decent turn-the-corner double should the opportunity arise and seem worth it. Lastly, and something that is not always discussed, Lawler can and will go aerial with his attacks. He has employed flying knees and superman punches throughout his career to further keep his opponents guessing, or end their night. Now in his 30’s however, it might be fair to expect Lawler to stay grounded, moving forward and looking for that left hand. In terms of weaknesses, Lawler is a bit of a plodder and not an exceptional athlete. This combines with the fact that he is a bit binary, either on offense or defense, and over-aggressive at times to cause him to be vulnerable when you think he is otherwise winning.

Donald Cerrone is the UFC’s Cowboy – he may not be the only fighter with that nickname but he lives, sleeps, eats and breathes the life behind it. He is not only a high octane, but also a highly technical kickboxer, which he doesn’t get enough credit for. How many other guys are there in the sport, period, with punch/kick combos both elegant and lethal enough to be turned into “DragonBall Z” parodies. To summarize what he does in the cage, Cerrone is indeed looking for a head kick. 5 of his last 11 wins dating back to 2014 were finishes based off of shin hitting skull. Although a slow starter, “Cowboy” knows how to use his footwork to get out of range when in trouble and his boxing in close quarters to do the same. Although he employs a sort of typical kickboxer bounce – I would say it is of the Thai style but the fuck do I know – it is also awkward and unique enough that I don’t think it gets enough credit for keeping opponents off balance and unsure of his next move. It must also be said that should his UFC 214 opponent hit one of those double leg takedowns, “Cowboy” is an absolute bastard off his back, either using his long legs to lock in a body triangle and hit elbows from the bottom or maneuver into a triangle choke, which he has won by 8 times. Cerrone’s weakness are twofold and well publicized. The slow starts are one part of it. He just seems to need to get clipped a couple of times before his on switch is flipped, which you really can’t afford to do against Robbie Lawler. The other part, as also discussed, is he tends to crumble at the biggest moments. This is a big moment.

Summary: This is certainly a tough one. My heart says what is on paper, which is that Cerrone is too dynamic for Lawler and that he’ll get the KO. My head however, remembers the Coloradoan’s fights against Rafael dos Anjos (x2), Benson Henderson, and Nate Diaz and just doesn’t know if Cerrone can do it on the biggest stage. Lawler has never had that problem. Lawler by 2nd RD TKO/KO.

Intriguing Fighter To Watch

I’m breaking the one fighter rule and picking two, Jason Knight and Brian Ortega. They are two of the best young prospects in the featherweight division and both bring a lot of their own flair and style to the table, with some key similarities. Both guys were street scrappers growing up, Ortega on the streets of Torrance, Knight on the back roads of D’Iberville, Mississippi. They both love to tap people out, although “T-City” Ortega is the black belt, under Rener Gracie of all people. Those youthful brawls have paid off as well as they both have a handful of knockouts to their credit. Here Knight may have the edge as he has one more knockout and overall seems to have a bit more of a knack for the big shot, if not more pop in his hands altogether. So the questions are many. Will they both win? Will they both lose? Will one fail while one prevails? If they both win who will impress more? Fuck it, no matter what have them fight each other after this.

Another Fighter To Watch

I’m taking Volkan Oezdemir here. He was a completely unknown quantity who, on 3 weeks notice, was basically fed to OSP as a safe replacement opponent to pump the former Tennessee Volunteer back up. It was not to be. The UFC’s first Swiss fighter won via split decision, although I think he was the clear victor. #judges. From there Oezdemir just kept being an asshole, going and knocking out top 205lb prospect Misha Circunov. He now faces Jimi Manuwa, who is openly, in Dana White’s own words, on this card in case “DC” or Jones don’t make it to the fight. A win against Manuwa would probably earn Oezdemir a fight against Alexander Gustaffson in a #1 Contender’s bout. He is mainly a striker – a kickboxer who has spent time training in the famed Golden Glory gym in the Netherlands. He employs smart combos which land with quite a bit of power. It’ll be interesting to see what he looks like against some top competition of his ilk.

Notes

-Although he is the underdog I am taking Demian Maia over Tyron Woodley. Maia has only been truly KO’d once, by Nate Marquardt almost 8 years ago, so I’m not confident such a careful fighter is going to be caught by one of Woodley’s right hands. I think the careful, deliberate Maia survives the first couple rounds and grinds out a decision, maybe even snatching a late submission.

-Yes, I’ve completely ignored another title fight on the card because I think one of the fighters is an abomination to professional sports in general. Do not @ me.

– As I mentioned in a previous blog , Boston-area fighter Calvin Kattar makes his UFC debut against Team Alpha Male’s “Touchy” Fili. That’s a brutal first task but we like those around these parts, don’t we?

-Debuting flyweight Jarred Brooks is undefeated and is nicknamed “the Monkey God”. I’m tuning in just to see what the fuck this kid is about.

-As I mentioned Ortega and Knight, I should also give some attention to Renato Carneiro and the previously mentioned Andre “Touchy” Fili who are also excellent featherweight prospects.

-Here’s to Aljimain Sterling getting that big win he so sorely craves and breaking out into the big time against Renan Barao. As Burt Watson said Aljo, “Don’t leave it to the judges, they’ll break your heart everytime.”

Enjoy this card as ones like this don’t come around often, I’ll be tweeting from @JoeyB300s.

-Slainte

Please Keep Dougie In Your Thoughts As Chipotle Goes Under The SEC’s Microscope (Still/Again)

Quick one here. You may or may not have heard that Chipotle is in trouble, again/still from last time, for being filthy and disease-ridden. Not to be outdone by the E.Coli outbreak at the location near BC, an outpost in Virginia has caused about 130 people to get sick. You almost have to admire the Drago “if they die, they die” approach these folks take when it comes to their customers.

The latest news though, like all that pertains to Chipotle, is a personal story for us at the 300. You see, our fearless leader Dougie MacRay lives for the subtle notes of food-borne illness in the burritos and bowls he consumes around the clock. The pseudo-Mexican, borderline fast food that Chipotle serves holds a near and dear place in his heart; it is the driving force behind the every-man nature of his ambition. Basically without Chipotle he has no reason to live.

So let’s keep Dougie in our thoughts as this investigation moves forward. For without him you have less to do while not working and I can’t write tinfoil helmet blogs about the UFC.

Slainte.

Editors note: As normal, I’ll let movie quotes do the talking for me.