Regardless of where you stand politically, if you can’t laugh at this video then you’re dead inside. Was Trump making a little too light of a serious situation by swishing paper towel rolls into the crowd in Puerto Rico?
Yea probably, but without his joshing around we wouldn’t have had this glorious mashup with Larry Legend. The winner AND STILL undefeated, undisputed champion, the internet.
A quick shoutout to one of my favorite cult comedies of all-time; Waiting. Back when Ryan Reynolds was crushing bit roles before blowing up as Deadpool. This movie was so great for anyone that worked a jerk off job in high school and college. Whether as a waiter, bar back or folding sweaters at the Gap, we can all relate to that part-time job where you truly just do not give a shit.
Michael Jordan. Tom Brady. Steve Jobs. Chuck Norris. These names represent the pinnacle of all that is man. And they don’t even TOUCH Hugh Hefner. The man truly was in a class of his own.
Just stop to think about his life for a minute and really break it down. The guy created a magazine and more importantly a brand where he made a fortune taking photos of beautiful women, threw elaborate parties, and just generally lived life on his own terms. He parlayed that into one of the most fantasy factory-esque establishments ever created in the Playboy Mansion. A place where naked women roamed and guests wore silk pajamas to gigantic parties all while Hef crushed everything in sight.
There is nobody in human history more synonymous with a place than Hef is with the Playboy Mansion. Not Derek Jeter and Yankee Stadium. Not Ted Danson and Cheers. Not even Robert Downey Jr and rehab. Hef WAS the the Playboy Mansion and thats why he was such a folk hero. The guy said fuck living a regular life and built his own dreamworld.
So pour one out for an absolute pioneer, a titan of industry, and a true American hero; Hugh Hefner. RIP Hef.
Vanity license plates have been all the rage ever since Cosmo Kramer became the AssMan, but, there has to be a line drawn somewhere right?
Not everyone’s nickname for themselves translate to license plate form. If I have to think about what your license plate means for more than 1 second then it fails the test. I don’t have time to study your license plate (except for the one this blog is about, but lets pretend here) while I’m bombing down 95. You have 1 second to make me laugh or nod in approval. And let me tell ya, PASTER, just ain’t doing it.
I texted my buddies asking what the FUCK does PASTER mean? And one of them immediately replies to me with one word; “Priest” like I’m an idiot. Not gonna lie, I was reading that in my head as Paste-er, like he’s the Taster or something. WHAT THE FUCK IS A PASTER? I don’t know, I’m still not convinced that guy was a priest. Lesson of the day? Vanity license plates are ephemeral. Make sure you got something good before dropping $200 on the right to be more easily identified by police.
Forbes – Toys “R” Us, Inc.— with over $5 billion in debt—made big headlines this week by filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, making this the third-largest retail industry bankruptcy of all time!
$5 Billion – with a B – in debt is no joke. I guess the endless aisles of Furbys and boardgames finally caught up to them. I thought if anyone could make it, it’d be Toys R Us. Place was like crack for little kids. They’d go apeshit for Toys R Us, which is why I think I’m partly responsible for them filing bankruptcy, or at least my degenerate friends are.
So there was a huge Toys R Us in the town I went to college in, right next to the the Wal-Mart, Goodwill, and McDonalds. So needless to say we made many a trips there half in the bag from the night before. And just about every single time we went, one of my buddies would enroll someone we knew into the Geoffrey the Giraffe Birthday program. For those that are unfamiliar, you’d write down your name, phone number, and birthdate and you’d get a call from Geoffrey the Giraffe on your birthday. Every. Single. Year.
“A child enrolled by his or her parent/guardian will receive a special birthday card and gift from Geoffrey the Giraffe every year until he or she turns 10 years old.”
Or, ya know, until you’re 30.
There must be dozens of people I went to college with that still get phone calls from that fucking giraffe. Toys R Us was probably doing their books and wondering how they could be in so much debt when millions upon millions of kids are still enrolled in their birthday program. Unbeknownst to them, a good portion of those phone numbers are just dickhead college students messing with their friends. Sorry Geoffrey, you did your best.
AP – The blaring, grinding noise jolted the American diplomat from his bed in a Havana hotel. He moved just a few feet, and there was silence. He climbed back into bed. Inexplicably, the agonizing sound hit him again. It was as if he’d walked through some invisible wall cutting straight through his room. Soon came the hearing loss, and the speech problems, symptoms both similar and altogether different from others among at least 21 U.S. victims in an astonishing international mystery still unfolding in Cuba.
So American diplomats are seemingly being targeted with, what the government is terming “health attacks,” of unidentified audio/sonic attacks. If my pop culture and comic book riddled brain could take a guess as to what this is, its simple; covert Russian mutant spies are looking to stir up the Cold War once again. Russian X-Men basically. Why mutants?
“Some of the incidents were confined to specific rooms or even parts of rooms with laser-like specificity, baffling U.S. officials who say the facts and the physics don’t add up.
Physics don’t add up? Mutants.
I mean has no one seen X-Men First Class? Like half that movie revolves around Cuba and the Cold War.
“None of this has a reasonable explanation,” said Fulton Armstrong, a former CIA official who served in Havana long before America re-opened an embassy there. “It’s just mystery after mystery after mystery.”Suspicion initially focused on a sonic weapon.
A sonic weapon you say? Now is probably a good time to mention one of the main characters in that movie is a mutant named Banshee with this exact power.
“A mutant capable of emitting incredibly strong ultrasonic screams, sonic blasts, sonic bursts, and sonic waves used in various ways.”
Add all that up with the fact that these victims are now having “problems concentrating or recalling specific words” and it just screams espionage.
“Brain damage and concussions, it’s not possible,” said Joseph Pompei, a former MIT researcher and psychoacoustics expert.
Not possible says a psychoacoustics expert? Meet my friend, Charles.
Yup…mutants. And I know I mentioned X-Men First Class back there, but fuck that, Sir Patrick Stewart will always be the GOAT Professor X.
“FBI investigators swept the rooms, looking for devices. They found nothing, several officials briefed on the investigation said.”
Thats because the X-Men are the ultimate weapon. Come on FBI, read a book for me one time. Now if pieces of metal start bending and flying around and shit then we’ve got a real problem. God damn Russkies, while we’ve been sitting here arguing about Donnie Trump, Putin’s built his own X-Men squad.
Sports Journalist Power Rankings? This needs to happen plain and simple. I’m sure pro athletes, for all the money and fame they have, are sick of a lot of shit. Primarily dumpy white dudes in their fifties deciding which players are the best and the worst.
We need to start ranking these weak ass journalist. With descriptions of their strengths, weaknesses and ability to make up “sources”
— CJ McCollum (@CJMcCollum) September 12, 2017
YES, give it to me CJ. But in the meantime, lets take a crack ourselves. I present, The 300s Sports Journalist Power Rankings.
No. 1 – Adam Schefter: The perennial GOAT at the position, has remained at the height of his powers for several seasons now and we see no slowing down in sight. What he lacks in pure height, Schefter makes up for in tenacity and tweeting speed.
No. 2 – Adrian Wojnarowksi: How many writers can claim to have truly added their mark to the English language? Wojnarowski has done just that with the creation of “Woj Bombs” to categorize his breaking news tweets. While currently residing at No. 2 in our annual power rankings, we predict a battle for the top spot with Schefter as early as next season.
No. 3 – Jay Glazer: His stock has only been on the rise since a recurring role on HBO’s Ballers. Glazer lacks the lateral quickness to cover multiple sports, but is an alpha dog where the NFL is concerned.
No. 4 – Buster Olney: The thinking man’s ideal player. Olney is always one step ahead of his competition and has used that skill set to reach the top of the profession.
No. 5 – Stephen A. Smith: One of the bad boys of the league, Smith excels in his instigator role. But as a well rounded player Screamin Stephen A. is still well tapped in around NBA circles, landing him the No. 5 spot on our Power Rankings.
No. 6 – Al Michaels: A fan favorite for not only his well versed play by play, but his late game not-so-subtle references to gambling odds, spreads and over/unders being blown.
No. 7 – Bill Simmons: While leaving the worldwide leader forced him to make the Sophie’s Choice of axing his baby in Grantland, Simmons is still one of the most powerful names in sports journalism. With a heavy hitter umbrella of podcasts, Simmons is looking to bring The Ringer to a similar prominence. Bonus points: Getting Ben Affleck to go apeshit defending Tom Brady on his HBO show.
No. 8 – Peter Gammons: Gammons is still a productive player, a savvy veteran leaning on reputation alone to get the job done, but as an aging former all-star his days atop the power rankings are likely limited.
No. 9 – Matthew Berry: The definition of a role player on a championship winning team. Berry sticks to Fantasy Football, but he does it better than anyone else in the league. As a role player or a 6th man off the bench Berry provides immense value.
No. 10 – Skip Bayless: The closest thing to Lance Stephenson in the realm of sports writers. A player who’s sole job is to irritate the competition, Bayless is unmatched, which is why he closes out our Top 10.
How’d we do? Tweet us who you think should’ve made the list @The300sBoston
AP – Nordstrom is opening up a store that doesn’t have any inventory.
The luxury department store chain says its Nordstrom Local concept store will open in Los Angeles next month.
The Seattle-based company says the store will be staffed with personal stylists who can order merchandise for customers. Nordstrom says customers can also buy online inside the store or pick up online orders the same day.
A lot of struggling retailers have been closing brick-and-mortar locations (thanks millennials!) in order to hawk more merchandise online and better compete against Amazon, et al. Not Nordstrom, though.
Nordstrom is going in the opposite direction. Nordstrom is going to open up more brick-and-mortar locations. How are they doing it? These new locations won’t actually sell any merchandise.
To better explain how utterly absurd this idea is, think of it this way : this would be like Sears replacing department stores with kiosks at the mall.
The kiosks wouldn’t actually have Craftsman power drills or 16 gallon wet/dry vacs, through. Just some guys in blue polos. The guys in blue polos would show you how to order those items online yourself, in case you haven’t used a computer since the Bill Clinton impeachment trial. You would then be able to grab a quick bite at Auntie Anne’s or Cinnabon, and then come back later in the day to pick up your items.
Who wouldn’t want that superb experience?
It reminds me of the We Sell Your Stuff on eBay store from The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
The only brick-and-mortar store that should exist solely for internet shopping is Starbucks. At least you don’t have to leave Starbucks empty handed.
Being from Boston, I don’t regularly listen to Francesa. But on a day when Craig Carton got hauled into the pokey? I figured the Sports Pope would be must-listen radio. The guy is done in three months, why hold back? If I had his platform, all I would do is kick my enemies when they were down.
But I was wrong. Just another reason to tip the cap to Kirk Minihane. When his buddy and coworker got bagged for a DUI, he did what we all would do in his position.
He busted his friend’s balls live on the air.
NY Daily News – FBI agents arrested sports radio host Craig Carton early Wednesday at his Manhattan home, officials said. Carton, one half of WFAN’s “Boomer and Carton Show,” was arrested on investment fraud-related charges, the FBI confirmed. WPIX reported he’d been arrested for involvement in a $2 million fake tickets scam.
WOW. When I heard on the radio this morning that Craig Carton had gotten arrested, I figured it was for like a DUI or something. Nope, the fucking FBI came to Carton’s door in the middle of the night and arrested the WFAN talk show host for allegedly running a multi-million dollar fake ticket broker operation.
Carton, allegedly, was taking investors money for a company that promised to sell blocks of tickets to games and events…except there were no tickets. So I don’t really know what the long term play was here. Doesn’t seem like Craig really thought this one out. Reminds me of the Underpants Gnomes from South Park.
Step 1: Take money from investors.
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit
For anyone that isn’t a sports radio junkie, Boomer and Carton are basically the Felger and Mazz of NYC. So obviously a very successful show, both probably making oodles of money. And this fucking dummy figures thats not enough so let me set up a ponzi scheme and swindle people out of millions of dollars. This isn’t like neglecting to tell the cashier that you actually got bacon on your sandwich to save a couple bucks, this is defrauding people out of yuuge sums of money.
So this guy is fucked. Good luck getting another job in New York, let alone getting on the radio again. But what this does do is open the gates wide for the next star of sports talk radio…Chris Christie. Make it happen WFAN, sack up. Your loudmouth fans need this. I need this. It would be like a modern day Ronald Reagan, except in reverse. A popular politician leaving it all to go to Hollywood (i.e. glamorous talk radio).
The 300s 