Category: NFL

Is Michael Vick Having the 2004 Madden Cover as His IG Pic the Biggest Flex of All Time?

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Michael Vick in Madden 2004 is the most dominant character in video game history. He was more dominant than Bo Jackson in TECMO, more dominant than Mike Tyson in Punch-Out, I would even argue he was more dominant than the Water Temple. Oddjob from 007? Kick rocks.

Just look at the dude’s stats from that year’s Madden:

  • Overall – 95
  • Speed – 95
  • Agility – 95
  • Acceleration – 94
  • Awareness – 80
  • Throw Power – 97
  • Throw Accuracy – 84

Absolutely outrageous, good luck stopping that. I know my brother and I smashed many a PS2 clickers trying to contain No. 7. So for Mike Vick to have that Madden cover from FOURTEEN years ago as his Instagram profile pic to this day is the ultimate flex. Just has to remind people that he was absolutely unstoppable and the GOAT video game character. If only he could have sat down and actually studied film and not murdered dogs like a complete sociopath scumbag then he could have been the greatest of all time in real life too.

The 300s Bloggers’ Week 15 Only Big Z is Left Fantasy Football Round Up

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So Big Z is the only one to submit a blurb today, which I’m guessing means everyone else is dead. And by dead I mean their season is over. RIP in Peace. Idk how Red expects us to get a successful #sports blog going when no one can even fuckin play fantasy football. O well.

Editor’s note: I have submitted my piece for the fantasy blog, dripping with contempt.

P.S – Google “Artie Lange’s nose. My God how is this poor guy still alive?

Joey B

I’m still setting line ups, etc. as I can still get a $20 high score of the week. Instead I got beat by 30 thanks again to Gronk and a still useless Matthew Stafford. (Idk how he actually played, but like Red, Stafford has fucked me all season).

Big Z

We’re on to the Third Place Game. For the second straight year.

I lost 74-66 in an ugly semifinal matchup. Not much to say, other than Tevin Coleman scored 24 points on my bench.

If I finish in fourth place, and out of the money, for a second straight year I’m going full tilt Week 17 and dumping a thousand bucks into Draft Kings.

Red

I got smoked this week entirely on the back of third string running backs. Never seen anything like it. My opponent had the Chiefs’ third stringer Damien Williams (naturally I had Spencer Ware) and the Steelers’ backup to the backup runningback Jaylen Samuels. As expected those two had 50+ points between the two of them. My fantasy season is sheets.

 

 

Calvin Johnson is Being Barred from the Recreational Marijuana Business Because of an Old Traffic Ticket

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Yahoo – Calvin Johnson, and his old Detroit Lions teammate Rob Sims, are trying to get in the Michigan marijuana business. Their application for prequalification for a marijuana dispensary, grow operation and marijuana processing facility was denied however, in part because of an old traffic ticket Johnson said he forgot about…

According to Gray’s story, Johnson and Sims were denied prequalification status by the Michigan Medical Licensing Board because of some old, minor issues.

In Johnson’s case, it was an outstanding “failure to maintain lane” ticket from July 2014 in Atlanta. A spokesman for Johnson said he was unaware of the ticket and as soon as he heard about it, he flew to Georgia to take care of it…Still, they were denied.

“One is nine years old and one is four years old and there are warrants out,” board member and retired Michigan State Police officer Donald Bailey told Gray. “They’re minor, maybe even meaningless, but the problem is their response. We’re entering this highly regulated market. And if this is their response, that’s a problem for me.”

What a bunch of horse shit this is huh?

Whether you’re pro-weed or anti-weed, one thing you cannot deny is the absolutely absurd amount of money that it will generate. Not only for the business owners, but for the states that welcome these shops due to the crazy high taxes slapped onto every sale. I don’t know what it is in Michigan, but in Massachusetts it’s 17%. We still have the pearl clutching though, even as politicians plan on how to spend all that new money they’re suddenly flush with.

“Boston Mayor Marty Walsh said he hoped the the tax revenue from marijuana in Massachusetts would be worth the “human toll.”

Give me a break, Marty. Just look at the green Massachusetts has already raked in.

“Customers bought more than $4.8 million in marijuana in the first 12 days at the first two shops that opened for adult-use sales.”

And that’s with just two stores open. Insane.

Back to Calvin Johnson’s case though, this has been a problem for a lot of people trying to get into the business and it’s hard to ignore the hypocrisy of it all. The number of well off entrepreneurs with some money that are going to make even more money selling a product that tons of people got locked up for using and are are now unable to sell said product (because of those arrests) now that it’s actually legal is wild.

Now I’m not going to shed any tears for Calvin Johnson seeing as the guy made over $100 Million in his football career, but it does make you think about who will be getting shafted trying to get into the gold rush that will be recreational marijuana.

The 300s Bloggers’ Joe Flacco Can Still be Elite Next Season Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 14

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The end of an era is here.

Today, The Baltimore Ravens officially benched Joe Flacco in favor of Lamar Jackson. This event was so profoundly biting to our generation, the news of it overshadowed a mass shooting in France, the #3 guy in the Vatican going down on sex abuse charges, and whatever shitstorm is the latest to roll through the American political spectrum. Just captivating.

Although there seems to be a Jimmy G, or Carson Wentz, or Josh Allen year after year nowadays, people forget Flacco was the first of the lower-tier school QBs. A 6’6″ rocket-armed, curiously mobile signal caller out of Delaware of all places. He also had a unibrow and was called a loser/shut in by his own Dad within two years of entering the league so idk why I’m so surprised in hindsight. New York Giants fans, YOU’RE NEXT QB!

(Final Note: If you haven’t and need a recommendation, give “Frontier” a watch. Engrossing).

Big Z

Week 14 was a bye week for the Z-Men, so it was a bit irritating to see George Kittle rip off 37 points and Christian McCaffrey rip off 21. Save some for the (fantasy) playoffs, boys!

With McCaffrey and my kicker Wil Lutz going on Monday night in Week 15, there is a definite possibility I will be waking up my neighbors screaming at the tv Monday night.

Papa G

Fantasy season is officially over for me. Red thrashed me pretty good in my only league where I made the playoffs. Welp, time to start my Game of Thrones rewatch.

 

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttteeeeeeeeees

After suffering through the worst regular season of my fantasy career, it’s nice to know that I will not be finishing in last! “Amari’s Resurrection” beat Red’s squad in the first round of the loser’s bracket and will not be the dreaded Sacko! (It’s sad how excited I am about that, but I’d never recover if I ever finished last in this league. Seriously, I just could not handle that.) And how apropos my team name is, as Amari Cooper went BANANAS again, finishing the afternoon with 46 points on Sunday. (I know. I know. But hey! I already apologized to him publicly two weeks ago for the vitriol and hatred I spewed his way earlier this year.) Now I got a tough matchup this week against Papa Giorgio to get the chance to play for the “Least Sucky Loser” title. Hey, at least it’s something.

I lost in the first round of the loser’s bracket in the other league. My opponent also had Amari Cooper…and Zeke…and Gronk. And I had Cousins, Rivers, and Sony Michel going this week…sooo, yeah. I should be able to fend off a last-place finish against last week’s low-scorer. Dear God, I hope so….

Red

Where to begin….well I lost in one league by 6 points because my opponent, the one and only Mattes, got FOURTY SIX points from the Undertaker, err I mean Amari Cooper. 

In my other league I rolled Papa Giorgio in the first round behind huge days from Christian McCaffrey, Ezekiel Elliott, and Spencer Ware. My prize? A date with the buzzsaw that is the No. 1 seed and a projected 30 point blowout loss. Keep me in your prayers.

Joey B

Lost and will finish the year in both last and last in points for. Not a great year!

 

 

Miami is a Hell Hole and It’s Where Patriots Seasons Go to Die

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Only in Miami does that happen. Only in Miami are the Patriots just utterly incapable of beating the Dolphins regardless of how good or bad they are each year. I don’t know what the hell it is, but Tom Brady and the Pats just melt (get it?!) in Miami every season.

What’s worse is that the Chiefs just won in OT so this seals the Patriots fate. There’s no realistic shot at the No. 1 seed anymore. Thank god the Texans lost to the Colts today or we’re looking at the No. 3 seed and the Patriots are playing Wild Card weekend. So with three games remaining against the Steelers, Bills, and Jets the Patriots have to win out. Either way they will most likely have to go through Kansas City at Arrowhead Stadium in the playoffs, which is daunting enough as it is, but the Pats absolutely cannot fall to the No. 3-4 seed and be forced into playing on Wild Card weekend.

And for all the NFL head coaches on Twitter second guessing putting Gronk in there at the end can chill the fuck out. It’s way more likely that the Dolphins uncork a hail mary there than Kenyan Drake getting inside the 10 forcing Gronk to attempt a tackle in the open field.

God damnit.

I Very Much Would Like to Hang Out With Mark Sanchez

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For as much as we poke fun at Mark Sanchez here because he used to be the de facto leader of the Jets, he does seem like a genuinely good dude. Imagine if someone asked Peyton Manning this question? He would have had his father’s goons beat the shit out of the guy’s legs before he left the room.

But Sanchez handled that like a buddy was just busting his balls and laughed it off. Life’s too short guys, be more like Mark Sanchez.

The 300s Bloggers’ James Develin is a Playmaker Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 13

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Welcome back. Another week and another 3 days of the highest of highs and lowest of lows. We laughed, we cried, we screamed at the tv/computer screen, terrifying dogs and neighbors alike. Fantasy amiright?!

The two most important things to note about this past week in the NF of L was that A.) Tom Brady has more career rushing yards than Sony Michel. Which is just embarrassing; and B.) James Develin is becoming a legitimate red zone threat which, laugh at it or not, frees up other skill position players for opportunities. In the words of Aubrey, “YEEEaaa, be very afraid.”

Red

I got NINETEEN points from my kicker this past week to just barely squeak out a win. Alas, I missed the playoffs by one game, primarily because Matt Stafford hosed me last week and multiple times throughout the season. But thats what happens when you click the wrong thing and accidentally draft an asshole in the 8th round. They say a pictures worth a thousand words and Yahoo helped me summarize my season in just one image.

Papa G

Blogger’s Note: That was seriously all Papa G submitted. Please keep him in your thoughts.

Big Z

The Z-Men won 121-98 in Week 13, led once again by Christian McCaffrey who put up a cool 25 points. James Conner iced the match Sunday night with two early touchdowns. The win is my squad’s 6th in 7 weeks, enough to improve to 9-4 on the season and secure a first round bye in the fantasy playoffs.

The bye week is huge because it guarantees me a “bowl game” and a crack at at least getting my money back. Let’s just hope I don’t run up two bills in my bye week and run out of gas down the stretch for a second-straight season.

Joey B

I lost again and am last in both pure record and points for for the year. I don’t know where it all went so, so wrong. Fuck you Matthew Stafford. Fuck you Jordan Howard. Fuck every WR not named Michael Thomas.

Mattes

So I failed to make the playoffs in both leagues, and it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning. For a guy who invests way more time than the average person following fantasy football and searching the depths of the Internet for any and all things related to it – no, seriously, it might be actually be a problem – this one really hurts. It’s not like my teams were all that bad either; I was top-three in points against in both leagues, and I lost two games by less than a point while freakin’ TYING another. I know I sound like a dope making excuses right now, but I picked up guys like Aaron Jones, D.J. Moore, Josh Adams, and Tarik Cohen this year, playing the wire like a fiddle all year long. But in fantasy as well as life, it’s all about who you’re matched up against, and it just wasn’t my year. I can still win the loser’s bracket in each league, starting with a first-round matchup against Red this week in one of them. I guess that’s something.

One of Patriots All-Time Unsung Heroes Gets 8 Years in Prison

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Image result for brandon browner

It’s really been an AWFUL year for the once vaunted “Legion of Boom.”

Once perhaps the most fearsome quartet in the entire NFL, former Seahawks defensive secondary mates Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor, Earl Thomas, and Brandon Browner probably can’t wait for 2018 to finally be over in a just a few weeks.

Sherman had an ugly breakup with the team last offseason and is stuck in San Francisco. Chancellor suffered a severe neck injury at the end of 2017 and, while still technically on the Seahawks roster, looks like he might be forced to hang ’em up for good. Thomas – after a very public contract dispute and self-promotion campaign – sustained a gruesome leg injury against the Cardinals this past September, effectively ending his season and, most likely, also his career in Seattle.

Image result for earl thomas finger

This will likely forever be known as Thomas’s swan song in a Seattle uniform.

But nobody’s having a worse time than Brandon Browner right now, as the 34-year-old, two-time Super Bowl champion was sentenced to eight years in prison today after committing a ridiculous string of crimes – including FOUR felonies – over the past year alone.

Rather than regale you with the details of Browner’s abhorrent spree – which includes everything from making threats to drug possession to burglary and, finally, to both attempted kidnapping AND attempted murder – the guy has gone completely off the rails. It’s a really sad story, but I guess it’s not so surprising coming from a guy who wasn’t very well-liked outside of his own locker room and who also set the NFL record for penalties in a single season in 2015.

What’s really sad about all of it, though, is the fact that Browner should truly be considered one of the most important players in Patriots history, but his memory will now be forever grossly tainted.

I’m dead serious. Hear me out.

There’s a huge difference between being one of the “greatest” and one of the “most important,” and Browner is certainly one of the latter. While everyone gives Malcolm Butler all the credit for picking off Russell Wilson to end Super Bowl XLIX, giving the Pats their fourth championship, it probably doesn’t happen without Browner.

Watch No. 39 in the bottom right corner of the screen for the duration of the play before Butler makes the interception:

Did you see what he did there? He sets an absolutely PERFECT pick on Seahawks then-No. 1 wide receiver Jermaine Kearse, allowing Butler to sneak around the block and cut off what would have been a perfect, wide-open throwing lane for Wilson, which would have resulted in a cupcake touchdown for Seattle and a heartbreaking defeat for the Pats.

Yes, Butler still needs to catch the ball. And no, I’m not saying Browner deserves all the shine – after all, Butler was the one had to actually haul it in. I am saying, though, that if Browner isn’t there on that play, Tom Brady still only has four rings to his name. No doubt in my mind.

Image result for tom brady brandon browner

It’s hard to find much out there about Browner’s vital involvement on the play, but at least Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio agrees with me: (link to Florio’s take). Browner’s strong play all year was also a huge part of the reason the Pats were even there in the first place.

But look, I’m not trying to sit here and wax poetic about a guy who absolutely deserves to be put away for a long time after everything he’s done. I’m just saying that it’s obvious this man has always had some issues up top, and it’s sad he never received the help he so desperately needed.

Maybe his antics throughout his entire career – and the almost unbelievable crimes he’s committed recently – were truly a cry for help, or at least a neon-bright sign for an unstable individual. Or maybe he’s really just a P.O.S. and I’m an asshole for saying anything nice about him. Regardless, here’s to hoping eight years in the pen allows Browner to finally find his peace – for both he and everyone else around him’s sake.

Run Tommy, Run is the Tom Brady 1K Documentary You Never Knew You Needed

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People make these fake A Football Life trailers for all kinds of stuff and they’re usually terrible, but this one is very well done. Barry Sanders crushes it with his 50 yards a season line. We also see cameos from Willie McGinest, Terrell Davis, even media guys like old friend Mike Giardi.

At this blistering pace who knows how many rushing yards Brady can rack up before he calls it a career? 1,100? 1,200?! God willing.

Is Josh McDaniels Salivating at the Suddenly Open Green Bay Packers Job?

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Yahoo – With Mike McCarthy out for the Green Bay Packers on Sunday night, a new question will orbit the franchise for the next month or two: Could New England Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels be the next man in?

A handful of NFL assistant coaches have indicated interest in joining a McDaniels-led coaching staff in Green Bay, according to sources who spoke to Yahoo Sports on Sunday. So much so that at least one has pulled his name from consideration for a college coordinator position. While such a development doesn’t guarantee mutual interest between the Packers and McDaniels, it is an indication the Patriots assistant is maintaining a list of staff candidates if he chooses to depart New England.

It remains to be seen whether the Packers would entertain a McDaniels pursuit, something that seemed unthinkable less than 10 months ago after McDaniels agreed to and then reneged on a commitment to take over the Indianapolis Colts. But league sources told Yahoo Sports as far back as last summer that McDaniels didn’t consider himself to be “burned” when it came to future head-coaching opportunities.

Is Josh McDaniels salivating at the suddenly open Green Bay Packers coaching position? He’d be crazy not to. ESPN can write 10,000 word exposes preaching fire and brimstone, sports talk radio can predict doom and gloom, but I’m telling you Bill Belichick is not going anywhere. This is a man who has lived and breathed football and nothing but football (OK maybe a little lacrosse) his entire life. I fully expect him to go the Joe Gibbs (retired at 67), Tom Coughlin (last coached at 69), Pete Carroll route and coach well into his late 60s. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if Belichick coaches until his late 70s. What else is he gonna do?

So if you’re Josh McDaniels maybe you’re starting to slowly realize that now. It would help explain him leaving the Colts at the altar and turning down that job at the 11th hour. Or maybe he’s known Bill’s not going anywhere for quite some time and was simply scared off by Andrew Luck’s fusilli pasta shoulder.

However, now some PRIME jobs have come open including one with the No. 1 overall pick in Baker Mayfield, whom the Patriots reportedly coveted. If you’re into conspiracy theories, one of the biggest ones of 2018 was that the Patriots were ready to trade Gronk to the Detroit Lions for a first round pick. This came after the Patriots had already traded Brandin Cooks for a first round pick to go along with their own 1st rounder. So New England would have had three first round picks…and the old Jimmy Johnson Draft Pick Value Chart would have pegged these three picks as exactly what the Pats would have needed to trade all the way up to…No. 1 overall. Just some food for though.

The Browns are plagued by godawful ownership though as they’ll be looking for their 4th head coach in 5 years. Not exactly a stable work environment, especially for a guy who flamed out spectacularly in his first head coaching gig in Denver. Something tells me McDaniels is looking for somewhere with a bit more security. Now if only a coaching job with a great quarterback AND competent, patient management was available.

Like say…Green Bay?

With Mike McCarthy getting axed after 13 seasons in Green Bay, this looks like a prime situation for McDaniels. Sure Aaron Rodgers is 35-years-old, but he is still one of if not the best quarterback in the NFL with stable ownership. McDaniels could look at a situation with another aging, stubborn vet in Rodgers and potentially meddlesome ownership and think he’s better off with a younger quarterback where he’ll have a bit more leash to work with.

I have to admit, I completely belly laughed at anyone who said Josh McDaniels would never get another look as a head coach in the NFL. What an absolutely ridiculous statement to make. This is a league that routinely employs wife beaters, degenerates, and drug addicts as long as they can perform. So you think just because the guy was a giant asshole one time that nobody will hire him ever again? His boss is the biggest asshole in the league and he’s also the most successful coach in the league. Not that you necessarily need to be a giant asshole to succeed, but it sure as shit won’t preclude you from any job openings.

Big Z also made some more salient points in the immediate aftermath of the McDaniels decision to spurn the Colts. 

“McDaniels’ decision to stay in New England as offensive coordinator really is shocking. But maybe it shouldn’t be. McDaniels might not actually be worried about finding another job outside of New England. If he went to Indy and things went south in a hurry, it’s possible he wouldn’t get another head coaching opportunity anyways. McDaniels already had one tough stint in Denver. A few disappointing years in Indy could turn him into Eric Mangini.”

OddsShark recently tweeted that Bovada actually has McDaniels as the hands down favorite to become the next Packers head coach for what its worth.

With the Sean McVays (a hire I loved at the time) and the Matt Nagys of the world having so much success as young offensive minds, McDaniels will undoubtedly be back in the mix this offseason if he truly wants to be.

For all the questions surrounding what happened with Indy, why this will be different than his time in Denver, and how well will he do without Tom Brady, there is clearly still a mountain of interest in the guy.

“As one league executive told Yahoo Sports of McDaniels during training camp, “He’s still a young offensive coach who is extremely smart and creative, and that’s something everyone wants now. When the next [hiring cycle] comes, nobody will really care what he did to the Colts if they think they need him. Especially if there aren’t a lot of good guys to choose from.”

So if he wants another shot, it’s there.