Genius and Condescending Marketing Has Millennials Everywhere Fired Up to Vote

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AOL – A campaign that aims to get millennials to register to vote turned heads by enlisting the help of actors posing as elderly, white Trump supporters. The ad, titled “They’re doing fine, are you?” was created as part of the Knock the Vote movement, started by ACRONYM, an organization that claims to be “the largest digital program focused on electing Democrats to state legislative seats across the country.”

In the cheeky one-minute PSA, a group of elderly white actors purported to be Trump supporters urges “young people” not to get out and vote on Election Day for a plethora of outrageous reasons.

This is A+ stuff. Whether you’re into politics or not, this video cuts right to the core. Don’t vote? Fuck you, I’ll vote twice. Well, not really since thats frowned upon, but you get the point. Tell me not to do something and the first thing I want to do is exactly that because I’m a golden retriever at heart.

It doesn’t matter how great of a marketing campaign any voting PSA creates though because none will ever top the GOAT.

The 300s Official UFC 229 Preview

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Here we are folks. The eve of the single most monumental, true, blue, “who is the best in the world who weighs this much” fight in MMA history. Members of the media, etc. have stated as much and I do indeed agree. Sure, there has been a puzzling absence of press and promotion for this fight, but like in days of yore, all that matters is that they will definitely deliver in the cage.

The main event of UFC 229, Khabib Nurmagomedov vs Conor McGregor, seems to have been written in the starts dating back years, when the rising, still slightly anonymous man from the Northern Caucasus seemed destined to steamroll his way to an eventual title shot. That shot, even back as far as 2015, would most like likely be against the brash Irishman who everyone wanted to be booked against – either for the pay day, the legacy, or both.

Both of our headliners, of course, face their first test today around noon when they meet “The Scale”. Although Nurmagomedov is the one with the history of weight issues, neither man enjoys the cut to 155lbs, which adds an additional layer of drama.

UFC 229 also serves up a helping of additional quality fights in all shapes and sizes – some divisionally-meaningful, some MMA nerd friendly, some of the “just bleed” variety. Therefore, after addressing the main event, I will very briefly touch on the rest of the main card plus one more to give this entire event it’s due and proper.

Shall we?

The Main Event – Khabib Nurmagomedov (c) vs. Conor McGregor

Lightweight (155lbs) Title Fight

Image result for khabib conor face offIn one hand of our main event we have Conor McGregor, the bombastic, charismatic, electric former two-division champion. Aside from his accolades inside the cage and in the PPV buys record books, he has single-handedly brought MMA further into mainstream consciousness than any of his predecessors combined.

On the other hand is Khabib Nurmagomedov, who is every bit what you’d think his former-USSR origins would beget – stoic, calculated, direct, and harboring a simmering inner fury that is simply terrifying.

Stylistically, thank the MMA Gods again, we have been blessed with a fight between polar opposites. McGregor is a dynamic, one of a kind striker. He is capable of throwing a powerful side kick, lightning fast spinning kicks, and speedy combos from a rhythmic, bouncing crouch. Alternatively, he can slither forward in his wide, southpaw stance, slipping everything on earth in anticipation of firing off his patented bolt stunner of a left hand. His grappling, although much maligned thanks to a submission to Nate Diaz to go with the pair he suffered pre-UFC, has steadily improved since the first Diaz fight and the wrestling clinic Chad Mendes put him through before that. It’s worth noting, of course, that the late-notice replacement Mendes tired down the stretch and got knocked out.

The Upside Down to McGregor’s Hawkins, Khabib Nurmagomedov is what has become known as a typical Dagestani wreslting machine, albeit the best of the bear wrestling best with a few additional tricks up his sleeve. On the feet, he is willing and able to change his approach based on his opponent, from the jab seminar he put Al Iaquinta through to the 1-2s he used against Michael Johnson. His knock of course is his straight back and forth footwork coupled with occasionally limited head movement. This is to say he gets hit, sometimes kind of a bit too much. All of this standing and trading of course is only done to set up the inevitable take down, which usually comes via a beautifully brutal double leg. It should be noted here that anywhere from the middle of the octagon to against the cage Nurmagomedov has an unlimited arsenal of throws and take downs, he just prefers the double. From there, “The Eagle” becomes arguably the best, and definitely the most physically dominant, top position fighter in MMA. He uses slick passes, heavy pressure, and shockingly repressive strength to get into position to begin reining merciless elbows, punches, and hammerfists down on his opponents. Also of note, if he gets a back or side position, he is an expert user of the wrist ride to confound and torque his opponents into a position where he can again begin pounding away or hit a submission such as the kimura he tapped Johnson with. It’s brutal folks. It made DII all-American Abel Trujillo, held prostrate on the ground, throw his hands up in frustration to the ref as if to say “is this even legal?”

So, striker or grappler? As with many of these I have to pick head vs. heart. My heart lies with Dagestan’s favorite son. I have to say, I fucking love Khabib. With that said, he indeed gets hit. And Conor knocks. People. The fuck. Out. So as much as I hope the opposite. I have go with the man from Erin.

The Pick: Conor McGregor wins via KO (Rd1). Becomes new UFC Lightweight Champion

 

Co-Main Event: Tony Ferguson vs. Anthony Pettis

Lightweight (155lb) Fight

This one, for me at least, is just a little sad to pick. Former division champ Pettis had an “I’m back” moment when he submitted Michael Chiesa in July, but as good as he looked in that fight his Achilles heel has always been that he shits the bed when he is being backed up. Although I kind of hate Tony Ferguson and his played out antics, he DRIVES forward. Ferguson is also a very good wrestler, something which Pettis also struggles with. There could be a silver lining here for Pettis, for as good of a grappler Ferguson is, “Showtime” has a knack for tapping out higher ranked/thought of mat men such as the aforementioned Chiesa as well as Benson Henderson. That said, that’s a little too much to wish for.

The Pick: Tony Ferguson wins via Submission (Brabo Choke) – (Rd2)

Dominick Reyes vs. Ovince St. Preux

Light-Heavyweight (205lb) Fight

This one will get mighty interesting if it gets to the ground, what with OSP loving to Von Flue Choke people for some bizarre reason and everything. With that said, OSP is a sneaky-slow starter on the feet. Although he throws early and often, I find it to be without a lot of commitment. I think Reyes mauls him after some feeling out.

The Pick: Dominick Reyes wins via KO (RD2)

Alexander Volkov vs. Derrick Lewis

Heavyweight (265lb) Fight

Someone is most likely losing consciousness in this one. Volkov is 5-0 since joining the UFC including 2 KOs in his last 2 fights. Lewis is two for his last two but has looked sluggish and sort of uninterested. Turns out his back has been completely fucked and he hasn’t up to this point ever…really…trained? Throw that all in a pot and stir it up and I think the towering Volkov get’s a bit cocky here.

The Pick – Derrick Lewis wins via KO (RD1)

 

Michelle Waterson vs. Felice Herrig

Strawweight (115lb) Fight

Here we have a pivotal match-up in the Women’s Strawweight Division. Both fighters are top-115lbers but a few wins away from a title shot. Herrig is coming off a loss after four wins, Waterson a win after two losses. Although Herrig probably has the edge on the ground due to both skill and size over the natural atomweight Waterson, both prefer to stand and trade.  This is honestly a complete toss up so I’m going to just stop typing and pick.

The Pick: Michelle Waters wins via split decision.

As I mentioned, one more for the hell of it?

Jussier “Formiga” da Silva vs. Sergio Pettis

Flyweight (125lb) Fight

This could honestly be a Flyweight #1 Contender’s fight if Henry Cejudo didn’t have plans to fight T.J Dillashaw, possibly even for that very 125lb belt, next. Anyway, here we have the perennial (although finally arrived) young gun, if there is such a thing, vs. the World’s premier back taker. You know what? I’ll stop there.

The Pick: “Formiga” wins via submission (Rd2)

So that’s it folks. My fingers are bleeding and I’m emotionally exhausted and the Goddamn fights are a whole day away. Therefore, I don’t have much of a sign-off in me. My recommendation: take a minute for yourself over the next 36 hours. Take some deep breaths. Really come to understand what we are about to witness. It’s a historical event. Here. We. Go.

-Joey B

Julian Edelman Officially Added to the Patriots Active 53 Man Roster

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Heeeeee’s baAAAck ladies and gentleman. The Option QB From Kent State. The 2nd Most Handsome Patriot. The #11 that goes next to #12. One Nibble Everyone Knows The Law. Julian Edelman himself has officially been activated to the Patriots 53-man roster. This is obviously huge for the team and specifically important for I would say for four different reasons.

1.) First and foremost we have to address what this means for Tom Brady. Arguably his most trusted target is back in the lineup which will make Brady feel that much more comfortable. And a comfortable Brady is it dangerous Brady.

2.) The Patriots offense finally broke out last week in a big way. Now imagine that + Edelman in the mix. Imagine Brady’s new buddy Dorsett last week but with less eyes on him? Remember what Chris Hogan could do downfield and in the seam when someone was distracting defenders over the middle? It is a fun thing to ponder indeed.

3.) I didn’t buy too much into this but if what Gronk’s brother said was true and Gronk was unhappy with the lack of weapons in the Patriots offense then he’ll be a lot happier now. In general Gronk’s body language hasn’t been great the last few weeks so having another weapon in the offense, and a fun-loving one at that, should be a huge boost for the best tight end in the league.

4.) Finally we get to Edelman himself. Because really unless we completely blow the rest of the season the NFL kind of did him and us a favor. Edelman has always been a bit injury-prone and, at 32, isn’t getting any younger for a wide receiver of his size. So basically, the NFL gave him an extra 4 weeks to relax, recover from his ACL injury and any other bumps and bruises, and return to the Pat’s 110% ready to kick ass. Not a bad deal for #11 or for a 2-2 team on the rise.

What just dawned me is this really is where the season begins. Starting tonight against the Colts, Edelman’s first game back, we get to see what is the fully loaded and staffed Patriots of the 18′-19′ season. Like most of the last 20 years, I like our chances.

 

-Joey B

 

 

The Bruins Got Smoked Last Night But Marchand Beat The Bag Out of Someone

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Boston.com – ...the Stanley Cup champion Washington Capitals opened their title defense with a 7-0 thrashing of the Boston Bruins on Wednesday night.

After watching the franchise’s first Stanley Cup banner ascend to the rafters, T.J. Oshie opened the scoring just 24 seconds in, and Evgeny Kuznetsov scored the first of his two goals 1 1/2 minutes later to get the rout off to a fast start


Optimistic Joey B here with the first Bruins take of the year. I’m not going to sugar coat things too much. Getting shellacked 7-0 including 2 goals in the first minute of the fucking game is not a great look. To the defending champs, in my opinion, is an even worse one. This is the preeminent team to beat in the National Hockey League and we get blanked. Hopefully this is just a “wake the fuck up” game and the B’s can get their engines revved moving forward. Last note before I move on: I didn’t see much of it so I don’t know how many goals against Zdeno Chara’s corpse was on the ice for but let’s hope this can’t be easily pinned on him or there will be calls for his head pretty soon. (Editor’s Note: That is a strong to quite strong take on the 7 footer.)

To the positives and my headline, Brad Marchand beat the shit out of someone. Now, you can view this is kind of like when the season starts in baseball and a player strikes out four times but you are able to say, objectively, they had “good at bats”. Took some good cuts. Didn’t chase a couple you might have expected them to. Made the pitcher work. So, although we did indeed get big brothered by the defending champs, at least we had Noseface doing Noseface things and bloodying some guy up. It’s a reason to stay optimistic and a sign good things lay ahead for our squad.

Not all hope is lost my friends. Boston has kept the Bruins, so Bruins will keep Boston.

-Joey B.

P.S: Deadspin’s headline was something like “Brad Marchand Is Back To Being a Prick” and it made me SQUEAL with joy. Sorry for partying, Deadspin.

For a Team That Just Won 108 Games, Red Sox Fans Don’t Seem Super Confident

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For a team that set a franchise record for wins with 108, it doesn’t seem like many of us are exactly brimming with confidence heading into the playoffs. Is it just negative overload with all the toxic sports radio, the shaky bullpen, the feeling they peaked too early, or are fans worried that the Red Sox merely beat up on weak competition all year long?

Granted the Orioles were the worst team in baseball this season with 115 losses (getting that hardass Buck Showalter fired in the process), the AL East seemed to regain its stature as one of the best divisions in baseball. The AL East was the only division in all of baseball that had three 90 win teams, let alone two 100 win teams.  The Yankees won 100 games and still finished 8 games back in the division. Tampa Bay Rays won 90 games and finished EIGHTEEN games back and had one of the best pitchers in the game in Blake Snell who may win the Cy Young.

So is it the shaky bullpen? We’ve all been here before and seen this team get its doors blown off in the playoffs the past two years. Chris Sale is obviously less than 100% and David Price’s next quality start in the postseason will be his first. Add all that together with an anxiety inducing bullpen and some Sox fans may just be safeguarding themselves against getting their hopes up. Matt Barnes? Ryan “Brazzers” Brasier? Maybe Steven Wright the goddamn knuckleballer as our setup man? Oh boy. At least Joe Kelly can whoop a guy’s ass if the situation calls for it.

The Sox essentially held open tryouts in September for key bullpen guys as they trotted out Wright, Kelly, Eduardo Rodriguez, Brian Johnson and a whole cast of characters, which for a team that won 108 games is massively concerning. It would not be a surprise at all to see this team get booted in the postseason after a couple of bad nights from the pen because thats all it takes.

Obviously the offense was excellent this year with Mookie Betts and JD Martinez vying for the MVP, but can a team really mash its way to a World Series title? I doubt it, mainly because they’ll be going up against the best starting pitching and the most micro-managed bullpens so it would be foolish to bank on 7-10 runs a night from the Sox.

I’ll be honest though, the No. 1 reason I’m less than confident heading into Friday night is 100% Chris Sale’s health. The guy is just not right. According to Felger and Mazz yesterday, his average fastball velocity went down every single start over his last four starts. That is BAD. He was throwing off of flat ground earlier this week, just days before he’s supposed to take the ball in Game 1. Thats something a rehabbing pitcher does, not a guy who is ready to open the ALDS. Maybe he comes out and he’s totally fine, but I’m not counting on it. Even if he does, I’d be concerned about how he bounces back. Remember when he came off the DL and struck out 12 Orioles and was hitting 99 on the gun? Yea well that was on August 12th and he’s thrown a grand total of 12 innings since then.

So if Sale isn’t 100% and gets bounced out of the game early? Welp lets hand it over to that disaster of a bullpen we’ve all been railing on all year long.

Then if the Sox lose Game 1 they have the absolute headcase in David Price taking the mound for Game 2 with TONS of pressure. He literally might puke on the mound. Get your YUCK shirts ready.

Listen, this team won 108 games for a reason, despite some games against “weak” competition. Maybe they can just mash their way to the World Series, but for a team that set a franchise record for wins I don’t feel nearly as confident as I would like.

The Yankees and all their degenerate fans thats refuse to button their goddamn jerseys come to town for Game 1 of the ALDS on Friday night.

The Sox will have Chris Sale on the mound and the Yanks will turn to a starter to be named later after smoking the A’s in the Wild Card game. I would expect Tanaka after Luis Severino went last night, but the Yankees have yet to officially name a starter. First pitch is at 7:32 pm.

Drink up boys, we’re in for a wild weekend.

The 300s Bloggers “Earl Thomas Was Right” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 4

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O hey there. So we are officially a quarter of the way through the 2018-2019 football season and with that, we are really beginning to see what our fantasy football teams are made of. We are also beginning to see what the waver wire is made of as more and more players go down, forcing owners to try and convince themselves that Senorise Perry is about to have a breakout week. But as we prepare for the return of Julian Edelman, let’s check in with the your favorite amateur typists to see how their fantasy squads did this week.

Joey B

I got fucking washed. Other than the Stafford-Tate connection no one showed up, least of all a certain #87. I even experienced the rare goose egg courtesy of Sammy Watkins last night. Definitely looking forward to rebounding next week when I get Devin Funchess back and slot Cameron Brate (O.J Howard is hurt) in for Gronk.


Red

Finally got a W on the books and it literally took until the final drive of the Monday night game. Demaryius Thomas was really earning his keep as my 5th round pick mustering up 3 points with a little over 2 mins left in the game. Keep in mind that during all this I am down by ONE POINT in my head to head matchup. Less than 2 minutes to go and Patrick Mahomes put the Chiefs ahead so Denver is forced to throw the ball. Thank Christ. With 1:39 to go Case Keenum immediately takes a sack. Good start. I am screaming at my TV at this point. The very next play Keenum completes a 9 yard hitch route to Thomas to nab me the ONE POINT I needed to seal the deal. Fantasy football is legitimately taking years off of my life.

Oh and my TE Tyler Eifert broke his ankle. 


Big Z

I don’t know what’s more remarkable, the points I leave on my bench each week or the fact that I’m still winning in spite of my poor coaching decisions. Either way, I won my Week 4 match up 108-76, and at 3-1 am currently sitting in the 3rd place in my ten-team league. Maybe it’s my “defense.” I’m seventh in points, but have “allowed” the fewest points in the league.

Brandon Cooks and George Kittle really saved my bacon in Week 4 with 24 points each. Russell Wilson was a disappointment with just 7 points, and I’ll finally be giving him the hook in Week 5. Time for some Matty Ice, baby! Oh, and did I mention that my opponent played the Cleveland defense?

Mattes:

S-O-Fucking-S! The Purple Cobras are currently in the midst of their worst season ever, sitting at 1-3 and dead last in the league in points by a cool 30. After getting a combined 11.48 points from Russell Wilson, Jordan Howard, and O.J. Howard, I had absolutely no shot, but my opponent made sure to put up almost 160 on me anway. (OH, and Amari Cooper had another phenomenal game on my bench.) Maybe it’s time for Baker Mayfield to come in and right the ship?

Fell down to .500 in my other league, sitting at 2-2. The week started off blazing hot with Kirk Cousins, but then Michael Thomas also decided to forget how to play football this week. Getting two points out of my FLEX and leaving 17 points on the bench from Sony Michel – the guy who I was originally going to play in my FLEX – didn’t help either, especially when you lose by only seven points. Still right in the thick of it all, though, so I’m not sweating it.

Marcus Morris Chirps Tristan Thompson and Continues Preseason Rampage

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Image result for marcus morris

Look, I know it’s only the preseason, but Marcus Morris is really getting me amped up with his strong showing over the past week – both on and off the court.

For those who missed it, Cavalier’s big man Tristan Thompson told the media last Thursday that Cleveland is still the team to beat in the East, even with the King now in L.A.:

Yeah, I LAWLed pretty hard at that one, too, as the kids say, and Marcus Morris made sure to let Thompson know what was really good almost immediately afterward:

Apparently their trash-talking days date back over a decade, as Morris and his brother Markieff, who plays for the Washington Wizards, used to face off against Thompson on the circuit in high school. The three also participated in two tough collegiate battles back in 2011 while playing in the Big 12, with the Morris twins’ Kansas Jayhawks beating Thompson’s Texas Longhorns in the conference championship that year.

Image result for morris thompson college

These two have quite the history.

Thompson has definitely had the upper hand on both of the Morris brothers since entering the NBA, and his Cavaliers did indeed beat the Celtics 102-95 at the TD Garden on Tuesday night. However, Morris continued to back up his big mouth with 14 points in 21 minutes on 50 percent shooting. He also added a block and two rebounds to boot.

Again, does last night’s performance really mean anything? Not really. But it does further demonstrate just how ready Morris seems to be and just how serious he is about the fact that this is both he and the Celtics’ year. Morris is quickly becoming one of my favorite guys on the roster, and I can’t wait to see wait to see the havoc that he and the rest of BWA are going to wreak on the NBA this season.

Though we’re still two weeks away from the real deal, the Celtics play their final preseason game this Saturday night on the road against Cleveland.

Patriots Colts Week 5 Game Preview, Odds, and Things to Watch For

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New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (12), left, prepares to throw the ball during the first quarter against the Baltimore Ravens during the the 2014 AFC Divisional playoff football game at ...

Photo: Chris Humphreys/USA Today Sports

There are times when I’m OK with being wrong. Last Sunday was one of those times, as the Pats absolutely spanked Ryan Tannehill and the Dolphins at home in a 31-point win. Does this mean they should be considered a juggernaut once again? Or was it just an easy fluke win against a team that always soils their jock straps every time they’re in Foxborough?

I’d say the answer probably lies somewhere in between. Next up is Andrew Luck and the Indianapolis Colts on a short week for some Thursday Night Football action. As always, here’s a quick look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:

  • Location: Gillette Stadium (Foxborough, MA)
  • Kickoff: Thursday, Oct. 4, 8:20 p.m. ET
  • TV: FOX; NFL Network (Check local listings)
  • Odds (via Odds Shark): Patriots: -10 (spread)/Patriots: -475 (moneyline)/51.5 (total)

So Who are the Colts?

The Colts are a team that LOVES to chuck the ball. Most of this probably has to do with their 29th-ranked running game, which is basically a three-headed “attack” – soon to be four-headed with the return of Robert Turbin off suspension this week – that is averaging a collective 3.6 yards per carry. While Turbin could theoretically come back and take over the reigns right away, I don’t expect a guy who’s played in 21 games over the past three seasons, while averaging a measly 3.1 yards a tote, to come in and go gangbusters.

For the most part, it’s been two rookies, Jordan Wilkins and Nyheim Hines, who have led the way for Indy, with Wilkins being more of the ball-carrier and Hines being the do-it-all, Swiss army knife out of the backfield. Wilkins, who leads the team in carries, has produced an unspectacular 136 yards on 38 attempts this year. Hines, though, leads the team in receptions with 22, with nine of them coming against the Houston Texans two days ago (on top of two touchdowns). He was an electric collegiate player at North Carolina State as well, and there’s no doubt the Colts believe in his talent.

Image result for nyheim hines

Only a rookie, Hines is already a pretty fun little player to watch.

(The Colts also have second-year man Marlon Mack, who flashed at times as a rookie last season and was expected to lead the pack in 2018. However, he’s played in one game this year due to a nagging hamstring, and we’re not sure yet if he’ll play on Thursday night.)

Rather than continue to try and decipher the jumbled mess that is the Colts backfield, let’s take a look at what to expect from Andrew Luck. The former No. 1 overall pick, who smashed all sorts of NFL records over his first three years in the league, is finally healthy again after his career was looking like it was in serious jeopardy. (For those who aren’t up to speed, here’s a pretty detailed timeline of Luck’s injury saga from The Score.)

While Luck has been a bit up and down this year, he is coming off a 464-yard, four touchdown performance. He’s also tied for second in the league with 186 passing attempts on the year. So for all of those who have been saying that he just hasn’t looked the same and he just doesn’t have that same zip on his passes anymore:

T.Y. Hilton is happy to have Luck back, too, as he is averaging an impressive 14 yards a catch with two scores on the year. Other guys like Ryan Grant, Chester Rogers, and the two-headed tight-end attack of Eric Ebron and Jack Doyle – and, of course, Hines – give Luck a solid group of guys to throw the ball to.

(WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON UPDATE: Both Doyle and Hilton are officially listed as OUT for tomorrow night’s contest. Therefore, the Colts receiving options will actually be looking pretty thin this week, which is obviously great news for the Pats D.)

Surprisingly, the Colts defense has been in the middle of the pack this year against both the run and the pass, and they haven’t been the terrible piece of swiss cheese I expected them to be in 2018. Their 17 sacks are also tied for second in the league, but after playing 80-plus snaps in each of the past two games, hopefully the D is a bit tired and won’t completely feast on Brady.

Storylines to Watch For

(Welcome Back, Jules!): After 24 games without his top target, Tom Brady finally gets his biffle Julian Edelman back on the field once again. HALLELUJAH. Sure, Edelman is 32 years old and coming off a pretty serious knee injury, but hopefully those extra four games off this season just gave him more time to heal. Above all, even with Josh Gordon now in the fold, Edelman is the team’s most important receiving option. While Gordon and Gronk can come through with the big play down the field, Edelman gives Brady that reliable, chain-moving option he’s so desperately missed. I think you’re also going to see a much more chipper TB12 from here on out. Welcome back, No. 11.

Image result for julian edelman

Jules is back to silence the haters after an all-too-long absence.

(Where’s the Pass-Rush?): The Pats defense got a huge boost last week with the return of both Trey Flowers and Patrick Chung. Newly signed John Simon also had a nice debut with three tackles and a sack on Sunday. However, the much-improved pass-rush everyone was expecting to see this year has been M.I.A. so far. Outside of Flowers, Simon, Adam Butler, and my boy Deatrich Wise (who leads the team with 2.5 sacks), not ONE other Pats player has been able to take down the quarterback through four games. This should be a game where we start to see some improvement, though, against a suspect Colts offensive line that could still be missing incumbent left tackle Anthony Castonzo, who has yet to see a snap this year. The Texans had a field day against the Colts this past weekend with four sacks and 11 quarterback hits. If the Pats can’t get the pass-rush going on Thursday night, color me concerned.

Image result for deatrich wise

After completely whiffing on my Burkhead for offensive MVP pick, at least my pick for the team’s defensive MVP this season has given me some vindication.

Prediction

Feeling good off a nice win and boosted by the return of Edelman, the Pats will come out hot at home, going up by a couple scores in quick fashion. The Colts, who are still tired and reeling from a devastating OT defeat just four days prior, will be sluggish and their mediocre defense will crumble in front of the crowd at Gillette. Their offense may also struggle mightily with Luck’s two favorite targets – Doyle and Hilton – both definitely sitting out. By the middle of the third quarter, the game will be all but over. The Pats take it 34-13.

Harpoon and Dunkin Donuts Teamed Up to Steal Drew Carrey’s Buzz Beer Concept and I Won’t Stand for It

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WCVB – Two Boston beverage powerhouses are joining forces to launch a new drink for fall. Dunkin’ and Harpoon Brewery combined Dunkin’s Espresso Blend Coffee and Harpoon beer to create Harpoon Dunkin’ Coffee Porter.

I think my rise to beer snob has been well documented on this blog. I was once a green college student jumping at the chance to buy as much beer as possible for as cheap as possible. That usually was a case of Busch Lattes, but one time I was at a liquor store in the Bronx and bought a case of tallboys of FAMOSA because it was like $5.

I’ve yet to ever see that brand of beer anywhere ever again because it was probably straight poison. But over the years I’ve grown into a sophisticated adult getting drunk on nothing but IPAs, DIPAs, Sours, Stouts and more.

So when this news story about Harpoon’s latest concoction came across my desk I had to address the situation.

Coffee flavored beer?! Ever heard of it? I have because my good friend Drew Carey came up with the idea way back in 1996 when he invented Buzz Beer TWENTY TWO YEARS AGO. Fuck, I’m old.

Now Harpoon and Dunkin Donuts are teaming up to swoop in and steal Drew’s idea? i won’t stand for it. Drew may be flush in all that Price is Right money, but all us fans of mediocre 90s sitcoms remember who the true innovator was here.

To be honest, I feel like Kramer when Calvin Klein stole his ocean scented cologne idea.

PS – I can’t do basic math for shit, but I can remember plot lines of TV sitcoms from 1996. Some kind of useless Snapple Facts trivia brain I have apparently.

 

Early Morning Grab Bag – October 2nd, 2018

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Note: I kind of enjoyed doing this last time so I am going to try and mix in one a week. Maybe I’ll get a regular day going at some point but not really possible with my schedule right now

–The Patriots did in fact play very well Sunday. I am still not ready to anoint them as Super Bowl contenders again though, yet. There is that something just missing. I guess I just don’t see us cruising to February by dumping the ball to James White and hoping rookie CBs continue lose Cordarrelle Patterson, maybe the worst route runner in football, in the maelstrom of an 11-on-11 football game. Add that to the fact that Gronk has been just less Gronk-like and I don’t know, I’m still worried. The D did look a lot better though and I think that group will continue to improve as weeks go on. But to end back on Offense, next week is the return of the Prince, the Boss….

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-Soooo this just popped up:

Whaaaaaat do you know. The guy who signed the MASSIVE extension suddenly just isn’t happy to be in New York. No one, and I mean NO ONE saw this one coming. Truly remarkable. Honestly though I can’t even imagine who has the cap space and that much of a need to bring him aboard. Seattle maybe? I really don’t know? More to come I suppose.

–Khabib vs. Conor is this Saturday which is crazy considering, again, the lack of overall press. They will do, as is customary, another press conference this Thursday, a little over 48 hours before they fight. Huge controversy in The 300s back-channels arose when it was discovered that despite massive hat sales Red would not be flying me out there credentialed. Kind of a missed opportunity but it’s fine. I’ll have my full UFC 229 write up posted sometime Thursday.

–Tom Hardy’s “Venom” movie is coming out, or came out, or something. This is the most perplexing movie pickle I’ve ever been in. I’m just not a comic book movie guy. I’ve explained off-blog but while I am not going to hate on them, they just don’t do it for me. On the other hand, I fucking love Tom Hardy, so what do I do? Add to it the fact that he is kind of a weirdo and could quit at any moment and I probably will end up at least On Demanding it at some point.

(This kills me every time)

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–To stick with movies, the first trailer got released of Taron Egerton (Eggsy from the “Kingsman” franchise) playing and singing as Elton John. This one should actually be really cool, I thought this kid would have blown up long before this.

–In TV, both “Shameless” Season 9 and “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” Season 13 have DESTROYED so far so get on that if you haven’t yet. While the former may be tough to just dive into, I think anyone with a brain could catch a random episode of “Sunny” and still have a good time. It’s honestly a timeless show.

–The first episode for this season of “South Park” also aired and…my Lord. (It was very funny).

–Watch Bill Burr’s “F Is For Family” finally and thank me later.

–Lindsay Lohan thought (see: jumped to an outraaageous conclusion based off of literally nothing) that a couple of refugee kids (in Russia I think?) walking with their Mom were actually being kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking and tried to save them or something. The Mom promptly punched her directly in the face. You should probably find the video, it’s wild. Girl is off the reservation. What’s more she is speaking in I think at times both Russian and Arabic as well as English in a Russian accent. This is very soon after she was asked why on earth she was speaking with an Irish accent. On Wednesdays we wear straight jackets.

–To end with some more #sports, Le’veon Bell has annouced he’ll report for Week 7, which is two weeks from now. This is just after he said “sure won’t” upon seeing fellow hold out Earl Thomas risk playing and probably end his career on account of breaking his leg in a game. I’m not sure what Bell’s play is here apart from the Steelers possibly telling him that another team is making an offer but wants him to show up first to make sure he’s committed to football in some capacity.
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Welp, that’s it for me for now. I’ll be back this afternoon for the fantasy football round up but other than that I got nothing apart from trying to not get fired for the next two working days while I spend all my time on the UFC229 write up. Ts and Ps for your boy.

Oh, also, apart from the night of said fisticuffs, I’ll be participating in Sober October this year. 99% 100% of my friends are booze bags so if you have any suggestions of what in the fuck I should doing for the next ~30 days please let me know. Please?