Tag: Amazon

College GameDay Will Be Live from Augusta National During the Masters

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ESPN – On Saturday, Nov. 14, the show will combine two of sport’s greatest traditions — college football and the Masters. ESPN announced on Tuesday that College GameDay will originate from Augusta National Golf Club, which is hosting the postponed Masters Tournament next month, Nov. 12-15.

“Any time College GameDay travels to a new destination, it’s special, and the opportunity to be on the grounds of Augusta National Golf Club during the Masters is extraordinary,” said Jimmy Pitaro, chairman, ESPN and Sports Content. “As this iconic event coincides with the college football season for the first time, we look forward to getting fans ready for a football Saturday while also showcasing the Masters and the greatest golfers in the world.”

Longtime ESPN hosts Rece Davis, Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard and others will broadcast from the par-3 course from 9 a.m. to noon ET.

So I guess ESPN just officially declared that November 14th will be the drunkest day of the year huh?

What a weird year 2020 continues to be. After having no sports for months during quarantine, it’s like we’re all drunk on the possibilities now and just stuffing everything together. Every single NBA team in one Disney World hotel? Did it. NBA Finals-Playoff Baseball-Playoff Hockey-NFL games all on a single day? Easy. Now we get a November Masters tournament with College GameDay busting through the door like your drunk uncle!

I’ve already begun my preparations for this event because well, ya know COVID. We’ve already had Boston Calling cancelled, live comedy shows postponed, a summer of games drunk in the Fenway bleachers axed, and sports bars won’t be opening any time soon.

Now I’m not a moron, I’m not campaigning for any of those things to reopen because I understand it’s just not safe during these UNPRECEDENTED TIMES. So I’m not about to have a bunch of people cramped into my apartment, we’re just gonna have to pretend we’re all in high school drinking in the woods again. Weather be damned. Mid-November in New England could mean temperatures in the 50s or the 30s so I’m really hoping for the former. Got the fire pit and the patio string lights already set up, currently browsing projectors on Amazon, maybe set up the putting green on the deck and just get blitzed outside watching the Masters and college football. Just make sure you dump your jacket outside before you go home so your parents don’t smell the smoke from the fire on you. Thats a dead giveaway.

COVID times call for desperate measures and winter is coming, so dress accordingly.

Binge Prospectus – Q1 2020

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So I’m going to purposely eschew writing a gigantic intro here because I think the blog itself is going to be long enough already. But a few notes:

  • Any titles in Bold I’m giving a must watch label.
  • Just listing movies with no description because this is more about shows and docs.
  • I’m putting all documentaries at the bottom so if you are into non-fiction go there.
  • The timeline might not always add up here. As in, it’s Q1 2020 and I might go all the way back to some times 2019 if I don’t think the show/movie has been addressed on the blog before. Or if a reminder might be warranted.
  • On that note ” ** ” denotes that this is not the first season of a show or that I feel the need to address it possibly out of left field.
  • You’re about to read about a lot of British shit. I know, I’m kind of an anglophile when it comes to T.V. But that doesn’t change the fact that Netflix, Hulu, and the Premiums have dumped a ton of money into UK #content that is often very good.
  • Not all of these are “full” reviews. By this I mean not all of the shows, in particular, that I am going to discuss have been finished by myself or another member of the staff. We however, out of the goodness of our hearts, at least started them in order to offer our take. Your welcome.

Let’s do it.

Streaming
Netflix

“The Witcher” (Series, US)
Red and one of our other buddies have watched this and recommended it. I started and was a bit lost but I’ve been told that could totally be an issue if you haven’t played the game or read the book(s) to some extent. Either way, I think it a good option for anyone who is on the “willing to ‘s’ a ‘d'” end of the spectrum in terms of GOT/fantasy show withdrawals.

“Messiah” (Series, US)
Think “Homeland” meets well, the second coming of Christ. In this kind of bizarre show a CIA agent (Michelle Monaghan) tracks a man from the Middle East who might have some serious terrorism connections but also might be God. It gets almost campy at times but is a good overall watch

“The Society” (Series, US)
An interesting application of Lord of the Flies or possibly more accurate, the Stanford Prison Experiment, theory. A group of High Schoolers get brought home from a field trip before they ever get there to find their town abandoned. They basically have to form their own new “society” (nudge) complete with their own system of government that absolutely has no teenage dramage involved whatsoever. Guilty Pleasure score of 1000000.

“The End of the F***** World” (Series, UK) **Season 2
Season 2 catches us up with James (maybe?) and Alyssa. It is a just as enjoyable, albeit not as fresh, serving of this dry, bleak, British dark comedy about two depressed teenagers.

“The Stranger” (Limited Series, UK)
I think I’ve talked about Harlan Coben’s partnering with Netflix before but I’ll provide some context anyway. Or skip to paragraph two now. Basically, Harlan Coben is an award winning novelist of what is described as “domestic thrillers”. What this means is that unlike a lot of thriller novels, his characters are not, necessarily, cops or private eyes or political figures, etc., trying to catch a bad guy. They could be, for instance, doctors or businessman whose wives/daughters have disappeared, etc.

This is the third time out for Coben and Netflix and again they’ve nailed it. While I would say it is the third best behind the “The Five” and “Safe”, that also just isn’t fair considering how good the first two were. In this offering, A family man is approached by a mysterious “stranger” (nudge) with a cryptic message regarding his wife. Then everything kind of goes to hell.

“Sex Education” (Series, UK) **Season 2
To be perfectly honest I don’t totally remember what happened at the end of S1 except that the whole thing was a really good, very funny at times story about a teenager that takes a page out of his shrink mother’s book and starts making cash giving his classmates sex advice. S2 deals with a lot of the same things as S1 did.

“The OA” (Series, US)**Season 2
The second, and sadly now last, season of this head-fuck of a show takes you on another journey of questioning the meaning of life, death, consciousness, and memory. Absolutely sucks they cancelled it.

Movies

  • “Shotcaller”
  • “The Captive”
  • “Blue Valentine”
  • “In the Shadow of the Moon”

Hulu

“Killing Eve” (Series, UK)**Season 2
Another killer season of the drama based around a American working an admin job for British intelligence (Sandra Oh) who becomes obsessed with catching a psychotic but bemused assassin (Jodie Comer) who develops an affinity for her as well.

“Letterkenny” (Series, Canada)**Lots of seasons
The best way I’ve been able to describe “Letterkenny” is a cross between “Napoleon Dynamite” and “Trailer Park Boys” with a touch of “Rain Man”. Take that for what it’s worth but prepare to laugh your ass off while watching this one about a smarter-than-they-look group of farming friends and the small, cliquey, Canadian town they inhabit

“Top of the Lake”** (Series, Australia/UK)
This is a “late to the party” suggestion as this UK/Australian venture had two seasons released in 2013 and 2017 but is still catching on here in the States. The show follows a police detective (Elisabeth Moss, who won an Emmy for her performance) as she solves a twist-heavy mystery per-season all while keeping her past compartmentalized.

“High Fidelity” (Series, US)
The John Cusack-starring-movie-based-on-the-book-of-the-same-name is adapted now into a show. This time our lead is Zoe Kravitz as Robyn “Rob” Brooks, a record store owner decimated by her last break up and hoping to find out where things went wrong in a semi-“How I Met Your Mother”/”Lovesick” style. The quirky humor and character’s penchant for breaking the fourth wall make this as intoxicating as the whiskey (neat) they drink.

“Four Weddings and a Funeral” (Limited Series, UK)
I’ve never seen the movie this is adapted from but this one-season-only tale of a group of late-20 somethings has just enough of post-college “what the fuck am I doing?”-ness to make it another must watch. Sure it’s mostly a romcom but it’s a cheesy good watch.

“The Accident” (Limited Series, UK)
I’ll admit I’m only one “part” into this four part series from Britain’s Channel 4 (from what I understand they have the BBC and Channel 4 and that’s it?). With that said. It’s insanely gripping. On one hand you have a local tragedy. On another you have a corporate/industrial fuck up of epic proportions that has some degree of cover up forthcoming. And in the middle you have all the emotions pooling together.

Movies

  • “The Party’s Just Beginning”
  • “Drinking Buddies”

PS – PSSSSSSSSSSSSSTT “The O.C” is on Hulu

Amazon
Blogger’s Note: I collected a couple recs for Amazon but don’t have it so this is going to be brief.

“Jack Ryan” (Series, US)**Season 2
If you don’t know who Jack Ryan is he basically is the American answer to James Bond but from humbler beginnings. This show I’m told kicks ass.

“The Boys” (Series, US)
This show is getting a ton of pop right now. It’s a superhero show where the good guys fight back against the bad guys and both sides are superheroes? I’m not too sure from there but I have friends who aren’t even into that shit and love it.

“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Series, US)** Season 4?
This one was a hit from the jump. In the wake of her marriage crumbling a woman tries stand up and fucking crushes.

The Premiums

“His Dark Materials” (Series, HBO)
If there were two words in the English language I would grade as impossible to define without a 45 minute thesis defense, it would be 1.) irony and 2.) steam punk. But I’m pretty sure HDM is kind of steam punk, or sort of 19th/18th centurish with insertions of modern to futuristic technology? Right? Fuck man idk but there’s some magic in there too and James McAvoy is dreamy.

“The Dublin Murders” (Limited Series, Starz)
This UK offering was alllllllmost what I needed it to be which was a crime/mystery in the vain of the Coben series’ and “The Missing”. Instead it is sort of like “The Night Of” where instead of fully investing itself in being a whodunit, it examines exactly what the people involved in a whodunit truly go through. While TNO looked at this from the suspects’ POV, TBM looks at it from the victims’ and their families’.

“Chernobyl” (Limited Series, HBO)
A look at what really (possibly?) went on behind the scenes of the infamous nuclear disaster.

Documentaries

“McMillions” (Series, HBO)
The saga of how a group of people were able to basically/kind of defraud McDonald’s of millions based off of the fucking monopoly game. I mean, wow. Seriously interesting though.

“The Devil Next Door” (Series, Netflix)
It is discovered that retired,, blue collar Polish immigrant living in Michigan was a sadistic Nazi death camp guard…..or was he?

“Operation Odessa” (Movie, Showtime)
The story of how a crooked Miami business, honcho for the Cali Cartel, and a Ukranian gangster almost acquired A MOTHAFUCKIN SUBMARINE for the cartel to use to transport product. Insanity.

Whole Foods May Soon Let You Booze While You Go Grocery Shopping

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WCVB –  Grocery shopping could become less boring in town. Representatives of Whole Foods rolled out a “shop while you drink” concept for its Sudbury store in the Meadow Walk development during a recent selectmen’s meeting.

The store hopes to have the coffee bar area serve beer and wine at certain hours. While there is seating there, the plan would allow customers to enjoy their beverages while shopping throughout the store as well, the MetroWest Daily News reported.

I absolutely *despise* grocery shopping. I will avoid it at all possible costs, which is probably why Grubhub gets more money from me than my 401K. I’ve legitimately product mapped ideas for apps to help you get in and out of the grocery store as quick as possible, but maybe thats just me. Maybe its a guy thing I don’t know, but if I can avoid the grocery store I do….until now.

Drinking makes everything better. To quote the legend that was Frank Sinatra,“I feel sorry for people that don’t drink because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they’re going to feel all day.” A backyard and a grill is great, but add a few Bud Heavys and you got yourself a cookout. Golfing is fun, but its difficult and frustrating as shit at times. I’ve seen guys from this very blog smash their cell phone off a bench after a bad hole. Add in a case of cold ones? Best way to spend a Saturday afternoon regardless of how many balls you lose in the woods.

Now add drinking to grocery shopping? Shit I might call up the boys and tell em to meet me down at Whole Foods so we can cross something off the honey do list. Just mildly buzzed while shopping for Cocoa Pebbles, maybe sip some whiskey while browsing the different cuts of steak they have out. That just sounds delightful. Might have to start taking Ubers home from the grocery store though which presents a completely different budgeting conundrum. Come to think of it, this may be Amazon/Whole Foods’ play to take over not only the grocery store game, but the ride share game too. Goddamnit Bezos you brilliant bastard.

Here Was Boston’s Pitch to Amazon. Mad Men This is Not.

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Boston Globe –  The high-water mark of Boston’s unsuccessful bid to land Amazon’s second headquarters came on a brisk Monday in early March, beginning with coffee in the Eagle Room at Boston City Hall and ending with oysters and steak at More Than Words, a nonprofit bookstore and job-training center in the South End.

Press play before reading for the full blog experience.

The city of Boston was a finalist for Amazon HQ2, which as we know was unsuccessful, but some new details came out the other day on just what was in the pitch. Not exactly a Don Draper level presentation to be honest. Welcome to this hell hole of congestion where the traffic never ends, there’s always construction, and it’s impossible to get across the city in less than an hour during rush hour.

Without further ado, the pitch:

In their pitch, state and local officials worked together closely, promoted the region’s universities and educated workforce, and — unlike most other cities involved in the chase — offered no tax breaks beyond what is available to any large employer expanding here.

We have smart people for you to choose from, buttt you’ll pay through the nose to be here just like everyone else. Great start, really get the prospect interested from the get go. Always Be Closing guys, thats just Sales 101.

Then there were basic logistics to sort out, like what to feed the visitors from Seattle and how to show them as much of Boston as was practical in a short amount of time, without getting bogged down in traffic.

“I’m really nervous about Tuesday,” one City Hall staffer wrote at 1:50 a.m. the Friday before the visit, laying out the challenges of getting from Amazon’s downtown hotel — not named in the documents — to Dudley Square to meet with school officials, and then to the roof of the Bolling Municipal Building to see development sites. “Nice view — not enough time,” the staffer wrote.

HAHAH good luck showing anyone around Boston without getting bogged down in traffic. True story: my sister in law was running the Boston Marathon and a ton of family came up to watch her run, watching from various points throughout the course. The plan was to get from Newton to the finish line in real time to watch her finish, which with the traffic and the parking in this city is impossible. So I bombed down Storrow Drive with a car load of people, got as deep as possible into Back Bay and then just fell on my sword and told everyone to get out and walk the last couple of blocks while I went to find a parking garage by myself.

Long story short: traffic always has been and always will be a massive inconvenience in this city and I’m sure Amazon is smart enough to realize that.

Boston’s team tried to keep Amazon off tour buses. “We wanted them walking. We wanted them on the T,” Barros recalled Monday. “We wanted them to experience getting around the way people who live here do.”

“We wanted them on the T.” We should have just started and stopped the blog with that line right there. As soon as someone said this sentence out loud they should have known this pitch was doomed We really wanted Amazon to feel the inner rage that all of our residents feel on a daily basis.

Can’t believe they didn’t just write up a contract on a cocktail napkin after getting to experience the joys of riding the T. It was probably on time and everything.

Next, they hiked across Fort Point Channel to the penthouse of a Seaport apartment building to hear about buildings there.

The Seaport is dope, but it’s already running out of free space and will probably be underwater in 50 years.

The next day, after breakfast in Dudley Square and a visit to Assembly Row, Amazon’s contingent headed out of town.

I work near Assembly Row and it’s a cool little spot for some outlet shopping, but it’s not exactly where I’d take a trillion dollar company to try and sell them on my city. You may have nearly gotten out of your car in traffic to stab someone getting here, but hey the PUMA outlet store has some really sweet deals!

While having a company like Amazon in Boston would have been cool, it also would have been a logistical nightmare like oh I don’t know HOSTING THE OLYMPICS. Except this would bring 50,000 people to Boston for a lot longer than 2 weeks. I ‘m already in pre-road rage because the city is planning a massive overhaul on Storrow Drive (we have such great history with highway projects) to go along with the guaranteed traffic from the upcoming opening of the Encore casino in Everett. If this city added a goddamn Amazon headquarters I’d literally have to buy a jet ski and bomb down the Charles for my morning commute. So maybe we dodged a bullet here guys.

 

Amazon to Offer Fans More Options on Thursday Night Football Stream

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Most viewers who tune into tonight’s Thursday Night Football game between the Minnesota Vikings and the LA Rams will hear the familiar broadcast combo of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman on FOX. Amazon Prime, which has streaming rights for TNF this season, will also offer the broadcast combo of Buck and Aikman. However, Amazon Prime will also offer three additional audio options for fans. Those options will include the Andrea Kremer and Hannah Storm broadcast, a Spanish-language broadcast and a United Kingdom broadcast.

This is a great move by Amazon. In addition to hiring the first all-female NFL broadcast duo, Amazon is offering fans more content and more options. It’s also part of a recent trend in sports broadcasting that deemphasizes the role of a typical play-by-play broadcaster.

In an interview with The New York Times, Storm said “if you had to, you would say that I was doing play-by-play and Andrea is doing analysis, but I don’t think that you should be thinking of this in typical terms of the way that a broadcast is done.” This concept should be familiar to Patriots fans, as the Patriots have gone a similar route for their preseason games recently. On television in 2017 and radio in 2018 Dan Roche was technically the play-by-play person, but the focus was more on the conversation about the team rather than the typical play-by-play. The concept has also been used by TNT for some of its NBA coverage on Players Only broadcasts which featured only former players and no traditional play-by-play person.

This style may not be for everyone, but it is fair to at least ask the question, “Why do we still broadcast games the way Vin Scully did them 70 years ago?” Scully may be the best of all time, but with the box score in my hand on my iPhone why do I need a traffic cop on the broadcast to tell me the score every 90 seconds?

I don’t know if Amazon’s announcement will result in a spike of Amazon Prime subscriptions before tonight’s game but, as someone who already subscribes to Amazon Prime, I will definitely check out the Kremer/Storm broadcast tonight. I will also be checking out the United Kingdom broadcast. I can’t wait to see how the Brits describe some bone-crushing hits.

 

Blockbuster to Honor Last Remaining Store With Its Very Own Craft Beer

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Yahoo – Remember the excitement you felt as a child when your parents brought you to Blockbuster to rent all of your favorite movies? Well, now you can tap into that feeling as an adult with a Blockbuster beer.

While the video-rental company is now down to its last store in Bend, Ore., it seems like people aren’t ready to completely let it go extinct. Instead, those behind the company have teamed up with 10 Barrel Brewing Co. to create a craft beer in its name — quite literally — dubbed the Last Blockbuster. And according to the brewing company’s co-founder Chris Cox, it’s made to pair well with your favorite movie theater snacks. “The Last Blockbuster beer pairs perfectly with buttery theater popcorn and your favorite movie-size chocolate, with a light body, smooth finish, and hints of nostalgia,” Cox told Business Insider.

Well if this isn’t the greatest marketing promotion of 2018 then I don’t know what is. Apparently, the only Blockbuster left in the country is in Bend, Oregon. They must be falling like dominoes because we actually wrote about one of the other last remaining Blockbusters recently. How this store stays in business is beyond me. After kicking it around with Big Z the only explanation we could come up with is that internet is shit out there so streaming Netflix isn’t a viable option.

Either way, a nearby brewery, 10 Barrel Brewing Co., is honoring the last samurai of VHS rentals by brewing up a custom beer.

As a fan of all things obscure, nostalgic, and limited edition promotions, I am sitting at my desk just going back and forth between browsers looking at prices of flights to Oregon.

But, since we’re in the trust tree here I’ll just say it; Blockbuster is dead. They went from THE place to be on a Friday/Saturday night for everyone that grew up in the 90s to an afterthought. Netflix took them out behind the shed and put a bullet in them after Blockbuster failed to innovate and got passed by. In fact the Blockbuster CEO actually passed on the opportunity to buy Netflix for a measly $50 million when Reed Hastings approached him. Netflix is valued at over $150 BILLION today. Woof.

Its always risky to buy/sell a company in its infancy, but I am forever hesitant to ever sell any company I have any stake in solely because of the Justin Timberlake speech as Sean Parker in The Social Network.

ANYWAYS

The greatest thing about marketing is branding and Blockbuster seems to be throwing up a couple of Hail Marys with promos like this. They’ll obviously never be a billion dollar business renting out VHS tapes ever again, BUT if they can play on nostalgia and keep that BRAND alive then they could rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

I don’t know what that move is, but its been done before. Hell, Sears’ stock just went through the roof earlier this week after it was announced they had signed a deal with Amazon to offer a ship-to-store tire service. This is after we’ve heard nothing but bad news and how Sears is shuttering more and more locations. Its called pivoting and call me crazy, but I think Blockbuster could do it. Thats the power of branding. I haven’t been in a Blockbuster in 15 years, but goddamnit do I remember walking those blue and yellow aisles vividly to this day.

It’s too bad this is happening all the way out in Oregon because if it weren’t 2,900 miles away from Boston I would consider making the trek to the lone remaining Blockbuster to taste this fine brew. Its reasons like this we need to invest in a company credit card for The 300s.

Amazon Alexa is Scaring the Hell Out of People by Laughing Randomly

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Amazon – Amazon said they are working to fix Alexa devices’ laughter problem, after social media exploded Wednesday with users freaking out over what they described as random electronic laughter. “In rare circumstances, Alexa can mistakenly hear the phrase ‘Alexa, laugh,'” Amazon told ABC News in a statement. “We are changing that phrase to be ‘Alexa, can you laugh?’ which is less likely to have false positives, and we are disabling the short utterance ‘Alexa, laugh.'”

NOPE! If my Alexa or Google Home just randomly started fucking LAUGHING in the middle of the night I would rip it out of the wall and throw it in a fire so fast it would make your head spin.

I’m generally of the opinion that the government is watching all of us all the time anyways. So if they want to watch me watch The Office for the 7th episode in a row? Go ahead. They know my pornhub habits? I’ll survive. If I can trade a little bit of privacy for a whole lot of convenience then I will make that trade every day. BUT, I draw the line at robots becoming self aware. This laughing Alexa can go straight to hell along with the entire factory of Boston Dynamics, who will be responsible for Skynet. Guaranteed.

And how about Amazon’s explanation for why this might be happening?

“In rare circumstances, Alexa can mistakenly hear the phrase ‘Alexa, laugh,'” Amazon told ABC News in a statement. “We are changing that phrase to be ‘Alexa, can you laugh?’ which is less likely to have false positives, and we are disabling the short utterance ‘Alexa, laugh.’

Get the FUCK out of here. That thing is laughing because it can’t believe how stupid we are for having willingly allowed them into our homes. Its like inviting a vampire into your house. We’re all screwed and Alexa knows it.

The Little Rock Chamber of Commerce Deserves a Clio Award

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ArkansasOnline – The city of Little Rock won’t submit a bid to become the home of Amazon’s second headquarters after all.

In a full page ad that appeared in The Washington Post on Thursday under the heading “Hey Amazon, we need to talk,” the city said it has realized it would “probably never work out between us…”

Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon, is also the owner of The Washington Post.

Genius move by the Little Rock Regional Chamber of Commerce. I’d have bet my house that Amazon wasn’t headed to the Natural State. But instead of wisecracks about why the hell Amazon would ever even consider moving to the state with the third-lowest median income in the nation, the Chamber of Commerce has taken control of the situation with two classic George Costanza moves.

The first is the “It’s Not You, It’s Me” routine. That’s pretty obvious. But what is really going on in the ad and in the video is the preemptive breakup.

GEORGE: I have no power Do you understand? I need hand. I have no hand.

KRAMER: Break up with her

GEORGE: What?

KRAMER: You break up with her. You reverse everything that way.

JERRY: A preemptive breakup.

GEORGE: A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up which she would do anyway but at least I go out with some dignity. Completely turn the tables. It’s absolutely brilliant.

I actually wish more states would tell Amazon to go pound sand. Instead of bidding against each other and undercutting each other, why not just let the chips fall where they may? What’s the benefit of having Amazon in your state if you have to give away the store to get them there? It’s like these cities are bidding on the Olympics. The only difference is that the increased traffic, congestion and inflation won’t go away after a two-week party.

Amazon is Now Taking On the Bane of My Existence: Grocery Stores

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Forbes – On Monday, in the midst of what will likely be its largest holiday season in history, Amazon.com AMZN +2.43% unveiled a video for Amazon Go, a supposedly new store that will allow customers to walk in, pick up items and leave without having to pay in a traditional check-out line.

Amazon, did we just become best friends? Yup. With apps for ordering food from my couch, calling a taxi from the barstool and streaming full on movies from my phone, Amazon was falling behind a bit. That is until they decided to take on the goddamn bane of my existence: the grocery store. The grocery store is where men go to die.

didwejustbecomebestfriends

Sure, free 2 days shipping is cool, I guess. But uhh, thats not really gonna get the juices flowing. A grocery store free of useless employees and horrifically long lines just so I can CHECK MYSELF OUT? Sign me the fuck up.

Legit nothing worse than the Sophie’s Choice of do I A.) Wait in line for 10 minutes so the teenager can ring me up and slowly pack up half my stuff or B.) Go do the grocery store employees’ job for them in self checkout? I almost always choose option A because as Will Hunting once said, because fuck him thats why.

willhunting

I’m gonna get my money’s worth. Any discussions of the misery that is a grocery store has to include the Bill Burr bit that is A+ material. “Here I was, I thought I was a comedian. Apparently I also work at a grocery store.”

Come on Amazon don’t screw this up. I need this. You need this. But more importantly the world needs this.