Tag: ESPN

Team USA Better Assemble the Next Dream Team After This Disaster at the FIBA World Cup

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ESPN – The U.S. will leave the World Cup with its worst finish in a major international tournament, assured of finishing no better than seventh after falling to Serbia 94-89 in a consolation playoff game Thursday night.

The previous worst finish for a U.S. men’s team in 45 tournament appearances was sixth at the 2002 world championships. The Americans — the top-ranked team in the world — will be either seventh or eighth in China, depending on the outcome of their consolation finale Saturday.

Just a couple of days after getting bounced by France in the FIBA World Cup (Team USA’s first loss in 13 years, snapping a 58 game winning streak), they were officially embarrassed today, losing to Serbia in the consolation game. So no gold medal, no bronze medal, now not even a 5th place finish for the most disappointing Team USA in my lifetime.

I understand its just FIBA, I really shouldn’t care. Maybe I care more because half the team is made up of Celtics and it reflects poorly on my hometown team’s chances this season. Sure. Or maybe its just embarrassing for the US to send a team of kids and scrubs to represent the country before getting their teeth kicked in. This ain’t the 1980 USA Olympic Hockey team.

This team was in trouble from the second that Turkey game ended last week and we all knew it.

I also get that its become more and more popular for NBA stars today to obsess over their bodies and to manage their workload. The NBA season is long and LeBron can’t lead Team USA every single year, but where was James Harden or Anthony Davis? Steph Curry? Kawhi Leonard? Russell Westbrook? Kyrie Irving? Paul George? Klay Thompson?

Even guys like Kyle Lowry, Jimmy Butler, and Damian Lillard could’ve carried this team to gold. So its a tough spot to be in because the US is expected to win gold every single year, but we invented the damn game and have more than 90% of the best players in the world. I don’t think being the best is asking all that much.

USA Basketball better look at this as more than just a down year; its am embarrassment to the sport. I have enough embarrassment to go around from the US Mens Soccer Team, but at least they’re just not very good. The basketball team can and should dominate. So bring me the next Dream Team. Bring me an outrageous collection of talent and just run other teams out of the gym. Its time for the USA to re-establish its dominance on the hardwood.

Brooks Koepka Crushes New “This is SportsCenter” Commercial

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What can’t this man do? Dominate every major tournament he plays in, rocks banana hammocks while on vacation with his super model girlfriend, makes me feel some kind of way with his ESPN The Body Issue photo shoot, and now deadpan acting in his This is SportsCenter debut.

True story: one time Mattes and I completely punted on studying for our final exams in college because the night before the exam ESPN dropped a 2 hour long Best of This is SportsCenter Commercials special on us. The choice was out of my hands. Hey, I got a C so it was well worth it.

Whats your favorite SportsCenter commercial?

Anddddd Now the Raiders Intend to Suspend Antonio Brown

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What a fucking saga. I mean what is even happening.

In case it was even remotely up for debate, Antonio Brown, and more specifically his head, is now in sole possession of the “Diva/Pain In Ass Wide Receiver” crown. He has surpassed Keyshawn Johnson, who felt it both worthy of his time and wise to write a book, mid-career, called “Give Me The Damn Ball.” He has also surpassed the WR whose name I won’t even utter he was such an asshat, but I’ll say he notably played  for the 9ers, Eagles, and Bengals, stopped getting signed because he’s such an asshole, and then went broke.

And now we have AB. His VERY successful and ultimately lucccrative time with the Steelers ended because he got pissed they drafted another talent and the ball was getting spread around. Keep in mind this resulted in Brown catching over 1,200 yards and a career high 15 TDs. But fuck them right? So he got in an argument with Big Ben, who he may or may not have hated anyway, got benched at the end of the year, and got traded to Oakland.

THEN THINGS JUST GOT STRAIGHT UP WEIRD. First, he froze-torched (look it up it’s a word) his toes almost clear off misusing a cryotherapy chamber. Not great, but ok. A dumb, dumb move but not a malicious or intentional act. However, what seems like mere moments later, the NFL decides his BELOVED helmet of choice (???!!) is now out of code and he has to get a new one. No biggie right? BIG WRONG MY FRIEND. See, AB can’t even imagine taking the field without this one particular helmet. So he sits out. During his first season with the team. Because of the helmet. And he obviously cannot practice not wearing one. Eventually he, the team, the NFL, I don’t know who else come to an agreement on a helmet he can use. All is forgiven. Except not.

Now, the thing is, the Raiders could not have cared less what means of head protection Brown used so these missed practices were not excused. So he was fined. Something to the tune of 50k. He’s making something like 18 mil a year I think, he can afford it right? EVEN BIGGER WRONG BUDDY OL’ PAL. At this point, AB posts on IG about the team “hating” on him and some other indiscernible shit. Who knows at this point.

Welp, I guess today Raiders’ GM Mike Mayock, noted drafted expert and very much not noted football exec, confronted AB about these posts and probably every other fucking stunt he’s pulled this offseason and they got into it. Gave each other the business if you will. Had at it. This exchange of pleasantries went so off the rails that the team is now SUSPENDING ANTONIO BROWN only six months after trading for him and before he plays a single regular season snap for them (in his new helmet). What a Goddam world. And as twitter said (I think Schefter said but no research as always) this thing is NOT over. We could honestly see Antonio Brown, top 5 receiver in the league, get traded again this year. Can you imagine that?! Even Keyshawn and Dickhead Who Shall Not Be Named weren’t so insufferable two teams shipped them in one year. But it could happen here.

This is just such a disaster of a situation. I can’t imagine who would even be takers in such a trade scenario. I guess the Raiders and AB will both hope this all just freezes over (LMFAO).

-Joey B.

PS: You know who has never been suspended from his own team for pure dickshiterry?  Josh Gordon.

The Latest News on Dustin Pedroia is the Darkest Yet

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ESPN – His name was written in pen on a sign over his locker. His Boston jerseys neatly dangled inside on hangers. Second baseman Dustin Pedroia was back with the Red Sox — if only for a quick visit. He hobbled through the clubhouse Tuesday on crutches, his surgically repaired left knee on the mend.

Pedroia really doesn’t think about hitting so much these days as simply not hurting. He’s hoping the latest surgery on his troublesome knee allows him to throw batting practice with his kids pain-free one day. That’s really the extent of the plans for the 36-year-old Pedroia, who has been limited to nine games over the past two seasons.

Still, he wanted to drop by just to chat with his teammates as they opened a two-game interleague series at Coors Field against the Colorado Rockies. Earlier this month, doctors removed bone spurs and performed a knee joint preservation procedure in Vail, Colorado.

Taking the field again? For now, that’s down the priority list.

“It would be nice to not hurt first,” said Pedroia, who has fond memories of Coors Field given that’s where the Red Sox clinched the 2007 World Series. “One step at a time. Hopefully, it works out.”

Before we get into the blog its my responsibility to remind everyone that Manny Machado is a dirtbag whenever discussing Dustin Pedroia. Moving on.

I don’t think many of us necessarily *expected* Dustin Pedroia to play baseball again, but this is probably the nail in the coffin. It sounds like he’s accepted the fact that he’s done and its probably time, but it doesn’t make it any less sad. I’ve held out hope that Pedroia would be able to return to at least a part-time role with the team. That is until I heard Jerry Remy (11 knee surgeries) talking earlier this year about a conversation he had with Pedroia and their shared knee issues.

He asked me, ‘Are there certain surfaces you have problems walking on?’ and I said, ‘Yeah, some hard surfaces.’ And he said, ‘Yeah, I’ve got a floor in my house that I have to have changed because it bothers me.’

Remy added, “At the end of my career, I couldn’t move any more. I knew going to spring training I was done.

‘’I haven’t seen that much of Pedroia in the field this year. I saw him dive for a ball the other day and he wasn’t even close to it. But he turned some double plays. So you can’t make that judgement yet.

“But this is discouraging. Mentally, it’s very difficult to go through. It’s all you think about.’’

Dave Dombrowski basically told us Pedroia was done way back in 2017 when he said this knee injury was something Pedroia would have to monitor “for the rest of his career.” Pedroia then got a knee surgery he was pretty hesitant to get and the Red Sox publicly said the second baseman would be back in 7 months. Pedey returned in May 2018 before going back on the DL in June after just 3 games. Then in July 2018 Pedroia started dropping some pretty startling quotes about how he simply cannot risk coming back too early. Here’s what I wrote at the time.

That is scary. That sounds like a guy who is seriously concerned about his ability to recover from an injury. Forget returning to previous form, that is a guy who sounds like he might be done entirely…the days of Dustin Pedroia as your starting second baseman may be gone. Because when healthy, Pedroia can still absolutely mash and is one of the toughest outs in baseball, but therein lies the problem; Pedroia is rarely healthy anymore.

Pedroia was back for Spring Training and we were all pretty excited here at The 300s as No. 15 was ready to go for Opening Day…but only played 6 games before going back on the IL. He publicly stated that his knee “will never heal” back in May and shut down his rehab in an emotional press conference. I was convinced he was going to announce his retirement, but it seems like he wanted to take some time off and give it one more go.

Things sound a lot more myopic now though as this pretty dark update on Pedey dropped the other day. Despite playing in just 9 games in his last 2 seasons, he’s due to make $13M in 2020 and $12M in 2021 before becoming a free agent at 37-years-old. Here’s to hoping Pedroia can at the very least get healthy enough to enjoy his life and then maybe think about playing some ball again, but it seems like that goal is a distant second at this point.

In Case You’ve Been Under a Rock: Peter Barrett is a UFC Fighter

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“Dana White is my boss.”

I only got off the phone with our friend Slippery Pete a few minutes ago, but that line is what is sticking in my brain. He survived a rough first round and pulled off a textbook escape from an arm-bar to drag Sang Hoon Yoo into deep waters, grinding the South Korean down while tagging him with straight punches and spinning back fists.

He sounded a mixture of tired, contemplative, yet completely at easy in the five minutes we spoke. He spoke in the same manner in which he emoted in the cage: this is where he is meant to be. So take a second and enjoy my catch up with the UFC’s newest practitioner of highly calculated violence.

This Dabo Swinney Baby Tiger Illustration is the Cutest Damn Thing I’ve Ever Seen

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This Dabo baby tiger illustration from ESPN is the cutest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen. So pure, so simple, yet so dead on. Its from a story ESPN published today on how Dabo built Clemson into a monster of a program. Dabo is such a chill dude that probably would befriend a baby tiger, both on their path to global domination. I love Dabo and am a huge Deshaun Watson guy, but I’m not necessarily a Clemson stan and even I want to frame this picture.

Dabo so hot right now, Dabo.

 

Michael Thomas Becomes the NFL’s Highest Paid Receiver

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I’d be completely lying and also deceiving the readers here if I didn’t confess that my first thought upon reading this was that the highest paid WR in the NFL now makes the same as a sixth man in the NBA. That’s how astronomical the contracts have become on the hardwood. But I digress from the jump.

Michael Thomas,  a fairly unheralded (2nd round pick) Wide Receiver out of Ohio State just became the NFL’s most paid receiver a mere three years into his career. This past year, the big, rangy target (6’3) caught 125 balls for over 1,400 yards and found the end zone 9 times. And it’s the catches, along with a more derived characteristic we’ll get into later, where you really see #13’s value. He rarely drops a ball that comes his way (I think he literally had three or four drops last year) and gives his gracefully aging, but aging nonetheless, QB a large, ultra-reliable target to throw the ball to.

In terms of the contract itself, Thomas’ $20,000,000 yearly average puts him above Beckham, Brown, Green, and Evans in terms of big Wide Receiver deals. Overall, all positions included, I’d guess this would put him in the top-20, above some eyebrow-raising names but below most elite QBs and some perennially nasty pass rushers. The deal includes $61,000,000 guaranteed, so going by yearly averages the Saints can consider cutting bait after three years without feeling horrible about themselves.

I don’t think they will.

That’s the beauty of Michael Thomas. Apart from the 125 catches, a 1,400/9 yearly stat line is excellent but maybe not eye popping. I believe Julio Jones had over 1,700 yards last year (to go along with his 2 TDs)(just kidding Julio). I also know, via recent fantasy football research, that a young man by the name of Tyler Lockett caught 10 TD passes last year, so Thomas’ 9, while a fantastic number, doesn’t wow you in necessarily.

But he is so. Goddam. Consistent. That is what the Saints are committing to. They are aren’t dumping a ton of money into a player who will go awwwfffff a couple of times a year for a few years. They are paying a premium for a player that will, week in and week out be one the most, consistent Wide Receivers in football. In looking at my fantasy line up from last year, I see Thomas hit:T

The 90 yard mark 6 times
The 70 yard mark 10 times
The 5 catch mark 12 times
The 10+ catch mark 4 times.

I know the scoring could improve, and I’m guessing it will, but basically he gets it done. Add this to the fact that he is a legit deep threat (remember when he torched Marcus Peters, one of the games best CBs, for a 72 yard catch and run?), he is only 26, and that off the field he’s been no trouble so far (knock on every wood) and this is the exact kind of guy I’d want my team to spend this kind of money on.

Anyway, what will be interesting to see is what this means for the next wave of talented, productive Wide Receivers. Juju Smith-Schuster (UFA in 2021) and Tyler Boyd (free agent in 2023 after his 4-year extension) are names that come to mind. Hell, if he has a bonkers year Mr. 99 in Madden, DeAndre Hopkins, could decide the deal he signed about two years ago is weak compared to his contemporary Thomas and demand that Jamal Murray money (kidding). Either way this really table sets for the next wave of skill position players.

So congrats to Michael Thomas for securing the bag. And to Drew Brees for having a top-5 target for his remaining seasons. Maybe there’s still one miracle left in Music City.

-Joey B.

Jalen Ramsey Arrives at Camp in an Armored Truck

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ESPN – Looking for a raise, Jacksonville Jaguars defensive back Jalen Ramsey showed up at training camp in an armored bank truck Wednesday.

At least he showed up. Defensive end Yannick Ngakoue did not report to the team facility with the rest of his teammates because he wants a new contract, a league source told ESPN’s Adam Schefter.

Ramsey said after June’s mandatory minicamp practice that his agent told him the Jaguars will not give him a contract extension in 2019. Roughly an hour later, Ramsey joked on social media that he’s going to “ask for so much money, they have to put me on lay-away.”

Us sports fans are sort of blatant contradiction. Lots of folks try to at least say out loud that at least 95% of their interest in sports lies in the games themselves. In their teams and wins and losses. In successes and failures.

They/we try and say that the rest of what goes into sports – the drama between players and coaches, contract disputes, off the field tomfoolery, doesn’t peak our interest. If it’s not the product on the field/ice/court it is of noooo concern to us. No sir.

At the same time, we all know that is a lie.  We discuss amongst ourselves ad nauseum all that drama and gossip as if we just started season 1 of “Gossip Girl” and are trying to figure out the true identity of this mysterious scribe. It is the worst kept secret in fandom.

One of the specific items of interest of late concerns NFL players and their handling of dissatisfaction with their contracts. Arguably the league’s best Running Back, Le’Veon Bell, sat out all of last season losing an entire years pay, rather than play for the Steelers who he decided were not compensating nor treating him fairly. Before that season began, NO ONE would have believed you had you said Bell would forego the whole year to make his point. But he did.

So now it’s pure exhilaration watching contract disputes because the guy might show up or he may just take paddle boarding lessons in San Diego for a year. Who the fuck knows?

Which brings us to our headline. Jalen Ramsay, never one for the subtle or understated, showed up to training camp in an armored car. He quite literally showed his team that he wants them to “back the Brinks truck up” as a sign of his value. What. A. Move. It’s one thing to hold out, like his teammate Yannick Ngakoue. It’s another to tweet. Another to give interviews. But to roll up ready to get ripped off by Affleck, Renner, and the boys is a different play altogether.

Now obviously it is a massive question whether or not this pays off (GET IT!?) for Jalen Ramsey. Does forgoing a respectable luxury car, sports car, limo, or any other normative means of transportation in favor of hopping out of the back of an armored car drive the point home enough? Does it make Jaguars execs look at Ramsey and say, “you know what, he’s right. Pay him,”? I don’t know. Sure am glad I don’t have to make that decision though.

The rest of this preseason should be chock full of contract and roster drama. We’ll all find it fun, even when we pretend we’d rather talk about the 2-0 pitchers duel the Red Sox just put us through in 95 degree heat. We’ll all even know better.

Maybe that’s just it.

 

-Joey B.

Mark Sanchez Retires from the NFL. Never Forget the Butt Fumble.

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NY Post – Quarterback Mark Sanchez is putting away his helmet and heading to ABC/ESPN to be a college football analyst, The Post has learned.

Sources tell The Post the former Jets quarterback’s main job will be in ABC’s lead college football studio, where he will join Kevin Negandhi and Jon Vilma. Sanchez is replacing Mack Brown, who left to coach North Carolina.

The Catch. The Immaculate Reception. The Butt Fumble. There are certain plays in NFL history where you just say two or three words and everyone knows exactly what you’re talking about and where they were when it happened. Luckily for me I was a part of NFL lore because I actually attended The Butt Fumble game at the Meadowlands. I saw that glorious play on Thanksgiving night 2012 with a bunch of my buddies. Since it was Thanksgiving we had been eating and drinking for about 8 hours leading up to the game so saying I *saw* the play is technically accurate even if it didn’t fully register up in the 300s section.

I do however vividly remember the stadium announcers not even addressing what had just happened and just moving along like it was business as usual. Thank god for high def cameras though so this incredible performance could live on in the football archives forever.

Oh and Lenny Kravitz played the halftime show that game. What a night.

Anyways, shout out to Mark “the Sanchize” Sanchez for a head scratching yet decent career. He led the Jets to BACK TO BACK AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME APPEARANCES as we would hear for years and years despite not winning any of them. He was a solid if unspectacular quarterback, but if you remember it was a shock the Jets traded all the way up to No. 5 to draft him. Especially after his coach at USC and current Seahawks coach Pete Carroll was a pretty big asshole when asked about his assessment of Sanchez turning pro.

Looking back he was probably right as Sanchez was the the full time starter at USC for only one season before skipping his senior year to go pro and immediately being crowned the savior in New York and starting as a rookie.

He’ll forever be linked to Rex Ryan as the two spearheaded the most successful era of Jets football since the Bill Parcells days. That was a fun time to be a Patriots or a Jets fan because both teams were very good and the Jets loved to talk so it led to some heated rivalries. Theres still players from those late 2000s Jets teams that I despise like Bart Scott.

Can’t Wait til your radio show gets cancelled.

So Sanchez may have only thrown 20+ touchdowns once in a season and may have thrown three interceptions in a 45-3 blowout to the Patriots on Monday Night Football, but he seemed like a genuinely likable guy. Sure he had some weird photoshoots

but who hasn’t?

I don’t know if I’ve ever identified with a pro athlete more than the time Sanchez got busted sneaky crushing a hotdog on the bench.

I respect that move.

Well, Sanchez is off to ESPN where I think he will actually be a great football personality. A good looking dude with some charisma and legitimate NFL playing experience? Sanchez and fellow USC alum Matt Leinart will be the deadliest duo on the LA circuit since the days of Leo Dicaprio and Tobey Maguire.

Celtics May Not Have Drafted 7’2″ Bol Bol, But They DID Sign 7’6″ Tacko Fall

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ESPN – Tacko Fall, a 7-foot-6 center from UCF, will sign an Exhibit 10 contract with the Boston Celtics, a source told ESPN’s Jonathan Givony. Fall was not selected Thursday night during the NBA draft.

Fall averaged 10.1 points, 7.7 rebounds, 2.4 blocks and shot 74 percent from the field over his four-year collegiate career. During his senior season, he posted marks of 11.1 points, 7.6 rebounds, 2.6 blocks and hit 74.8 percent of his attempts.

Fall has attracted attention because of his size and because he held his own against Zion Williamson in UCF’s one-point loss to Duke in the NCAA tournament.

Exhibit 10 contracts, introduced in the NBA’s most recent collective bargaining agreement, are one-year deals paying the minimum salary. They also can be used for two-way contracts.

So technically the Celtics signed Tacko Fall to some phony bologna deal called an Exhibit 10 contract, which I have never even heard before this week.

“[Its] a one-year, non-guaranteed deal that allows teams to carry up to 20 players on their roster before the start of the regular season. If a player is waived before the season begins, he is then eligible for a $50,000 bonus if he joins the team’s G-League affiliate.” – Boston.com

What that means is Tacko will be given a shot to play for the C’s Summer League team in Vegas and then Danny will assess if he’s worth a flyer. Unless he absolutely savages people in the summer league I would not expect to see Tacko in a uniform that has anything other than a red lobster on the front next season.

If the name Tacko Fall sounds familiar to you, and like me you aren’t a giant college basketball guy, its most likely because he made you cry watching SportsCenter over your morning cereal.

So while I would not expect much from Tacko just yet, its hard to not be intrigued by a 7’6″ center. Especially since everyone and their mother has been bitching about the Celtics’ lack of a “rim protector” for my entire adult life. No doubt, we will keep you guys updated on how he does in the summer league this season.