Tag: Fantasy Football

The 300s Bloggers’ Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 1

Hey Everybody,

So I am going to start posting this every week. An opportunity for you the reader  to both revel and commiserate with your favorite (Me, maybe Big Z) or least favorite (Bills Fan) 300s blogger. So without further or do……….

Papa Giorgio
(Joey B’s Note: PG’s starting quarterback IRL is Nathan Peterman)

“Two words: Total Domination. Was it easy? No. Did I almost throw up blood when Aaron Rodgers was carted off the field with a knee injury? You betcha! Someone I managed to come out of week one 3-0 in all my leagues combined. As someone who does not take fantasy football too seriously, it was a nice start to what inevitably will be a horrifying, disastrous finish.”

Big Z

“I kept Le’Veon Bell in My keeper league. I picked up James Conner as his handcuff, but played Devonta Freeman instead in Week 1. Figured Pittsburgh had lots of other weapons, and might not lean too heavily on the second year player. Conner outscored Freeman by a cool 28 points, as I lost my Week 1 matchup by 12.”

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Joey B

I had a solid, straightforward week 1 win. I only do one team because I honestly just can’t keep track of more than one. Team-wise, I grabbed Gronk in the first because it’s smart and I picked up/started James Connor because the Steelers have relied heavily on the run since Lincoln still had the back of his head. The only thing grinding my gears a bit is that I lost out on the league high score for the week because rather than having even an underwhelming, sub-average game Matthew Stafford shat the bed completely. Oh well, 1-0.

Now we get to the absolute novels written by Red and MATTES GOOOODDDAMN. Asked these guys for a blurb on their fantasy football week and I got Will Hunting’s thesis on the market economy in the southern colonies.

Red

“Ya know, I was initially pretty upset about accidentally drafting Matt Stafford in the 8th round because time ran out on my pick, but now? Well now I’m fucking furious. Thats what I get for playing chicken with the Yahoo fantasy football draft pick timer.

I won a fantasy league I was in with Donovan McNabb as my QB that I picked up in like the 15th round. It was his last year in Philly and his last year as a productive NFL starter, which was perfect for me. Drafting a QB late has been my template ever since. Welp, not this year.

Sure you could attribute my opening day loss to lack of preparation (I didn’t buy an $11 draft magazine this year) or the fact that I continue to rely on Seahawks running backs not named Marshawn Lynch prior to 2015, but I prefer to point out that Matthew Stafford threw 4 picks in the same week Alvin Kamara dropped 38 points on me.

Here’s to hoping Sam Darnold continues to do just what I had hoped and throw the ball to my sleeper pick, Quincy Enunwa, more than anyone else on the Jets. Quincy had 10 targets last night compared to 11 for the rest of the team combined.

On my bench, of course.

Goddamnit, why do I play this game?”

 

Mattes

“I tell ya, it really sucks to be 0-2 after just one week of football. BOTH sqauds lost this weekend, and neither matchup was close in either league. Even worse is the fact I was expected to be the week’s high-scorer in my full-point PPR league – with guys like Larry Fitz, Michael Thomas, David Johnson, and Jarvis Landy – but only two of those guys actually showed up. There was a few fleeting minutes of hope in my matchup against our very own Papa Giorgio, when Aaron Rodgers looked like he was about to be placed on the shelf for the second straight season. But alas, the legend came back and put up another THIRTY-TWO points to crush my Week 1 dreams. Although, with Amari Cooper putting up two whole points on Monday night, maybe it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. It also didn’t help to have the Saints defense in both leagues, who fell victim to some serious FitzMagic and blew chunks in their home opener. In one league, the got me -4, and the other they got me -8.

So I literally would’ve been better off not even starting a D/ST this week. COOL. I did have one particular Saints player, though, who went absolutely BANANAS, catching 16 balls for 180 yards and a score; his name is Michael Thomas, as previously mentioned, and I’m glad I snagged him for the second year in a row. Jordan Howard and Carlos Hyde look like a decent back pairing in one league, but David Johnson and Alex Collins didn’t live up to expectations in the other. Hopefully Kerryon Johnson, my sneaky pick for Rookie of the Year, takes the job away from a hopefully-washed-up LeGarrette Blount and serves as a solid No. 3 behind Howard and Hyde. And if Rex Burkhead ends up being the Patriots offensive MVP, as I predicted in the Pats preview podcast, I could be OK in my other league, too. Russell Wilson also proved he’s matchup-proof, putting up over 30 against a nasty Broncos D. Philip Rivers and Kirk Cousins look like a solid pairing in my two-QB league as well, so I’m not getting too down after the first week. It can only go up from here…right?”

Patriots/Texans Week 1 Preview, Odds, & Things to Watch For

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As I sit here and write this, the 2018 NFL season has already officially begun, with the Eagles beating the Falcons in last night’s season opener, 18-12. We are now just about 48 hours away from REAL and MEANINGFUL Patriots action.

The team is set to square off against the Houston Texans at Gillette Stadium on Sunday. Before we get into a game preview, here’s a couple quick hits on when and where to watch the game along with a few of the latest lines:

  • Kickoff: Sunday, Sept. 9, 1 p.m. ET
  • TV: CBS (Check local listings)
  • Odds (via Odds Shark): Patriots: -6.5 (spread)/Patriots: -230 (moneyline)/50.5 (over/under)

This will be a matchup between what should be two of the AFC’s premier squads in 2018. Although the Texans missed out on the playoffs last year, that’s most likely due to the fact they lost then-super-rookie quarterback Deshaun Watson to an ACL tear just before Week 9, when the team was 3-4. Sure, they technically had a losing record with him under center before the injury, but of those seven games four were against playoff teams, and another was a mere three-point loss against a solid Seahawks team in which Watson threw for over 400 yards and four touchdowns to go along with another 67 yards on the ground. Watson also had 21 total touchdowns on the season at the time he went down.

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I do think that Watson will regress a bit this year, as his touchdown rate was just silly last season, but he’s still probably the most talented quarterback the Texans have ever had in their 15-year history. Let’s not forget Watson also totaled 342 yards and two touchdowns against the Pats when the teams squared off last season, in what was just his third-ever NFL game. He, DeAndre Hopkins, and Lamar Miller form a pretty solid trio on the offensive side of things.

But enough about Watson. The Texans will also have two of their top defenders back this season, J.J. Watt and Whitney Mercilus, both of whom played just five games each for the team last year. Not only have the two combined for ONE HUNDRED AND FREAKIN’ EIGHT sacks since Mercilus’s rookie year in 2012, but Houston’s defense – which was a top-three unit in both 2015 and 2016 – fell all the way to 20th without them last year. I expect Houston’s D to be solid once again in 2018 if both guys can stay on the field. This offseason, the team also added safety Tyrann Mathieu – aka the Honey Badger and one of my absolute favorite players in the league – and he is expected to inject some much-needed skill and energy into the team’s defensive backfield.

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He’s baaaaaaaaack.

OK. OK. But what about the Pats?

Well, this game is going to be all about timing routes and quick passes. (Hello, James White!) Brady is going to need to get the ball out quickly, and as long as he doesn’t get knocked around by Houston’s nasty pass-rush he could carve it up between the 20s. Aaron Colvin and a 34-year-old Johnathan Joseph are also a pretty lackluster pair of corners, so TB12 shouldn’t have too much trouble moving the ball as long as he stays standing.

The Texans actually were a top-15 team against the run last season, so I wouldn’t expect a huge game on the ground for the Pats offense. White and Rex Burkhead will likely be sent out of the backfield quite often, especially with the team being expected to take it slow with the latter. Jeremy Hill could actually get a little bit more burn than expected as well, as the team will still need someone to move the chains between the tackles and on the goal line.

As far as the defense goes, the Pats (hopefully) improved pass-rush should be able to do some serious work against the Texans HORRENDOUS offensive line, which was ranked dead-last by Pro Football Focus this offseason. It may be tough to corral Watson, though, which will probably force him out of the pocket and on the run quite a bit. Therefore, Dont’a Hightower and the rest of the linebacking corps will need to be on high alert throughout this one.

Storylines to Keep an Eye On

(Welcome to New England, Trent Brown): Brady’s new blindside protector certainly has his work cut out for him. As mentioned above, the Texans feature one of the league’s most ferocious pass-rushing units, and this will be Brown’s first chance to prove himself in a Pats uniform. He’s received very positive reviews throughout most of the offseason, but let’s just hope Watt & Co. don’t give him fits in his home debut.

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Hopefully he’s still smiling around 4 p.m. on Sunday afternoon.

(James White is the X-Factor): With the team’s thin receiving corps and the need for Brady to get the ball out quickly in this one, I expect White to be HUGE for the Pats on Sunday. Not only can Brady check down to him in a hurry, but White’s underrated ability to carry the rock can also help keep the Texans D guessing, especially when the team runs out the Pony offense, which I also expect to see a lot of.

(Who Will Step Up Behind Hogan?): Barring another freak injury or Johnathan Joseph traveling back in time to his Pro Bowl days, Chris Hogan will be the team’s leading receiver in Week 1. But after that, who is going to step up? Will it be Phillip Dorsett, who looked solid in the team’s dress rehearsal? Will it be Cordarrelle Patterson, who has the skills to be a unique offensive weapon? Will it be Riley McCarron, a dark horse who was just promoted from the practice squad on Thursday? It’s anyone’s guess at this point.

Prediction

Save for some minor worry regarding Brady’s protection in this one, I still think the Pats are far and away the better overall team. Belichick won’t let Watson light him up two years in a row. Plus, Trey Flowers, Deatrich Wise, Adrian Clayborn, and the rest of the boys up front on defense should be able to consistently get in his face and throw him off his game. There are also still enough weapons on the Pats offense for them to move the ball and score some points against Houston’s D, as long as their fearsome crew up front is kept at bay. The Pats take this one 24-14.

BREAKING: Sony Michel Could Miss Start of Regular Season

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As relayed by Rotoworld around midday on Thursday, The Athletic’s Jeff Howe reported that the “sense” around Pats camp right now is that rookie Sony Michel, who just returned to the practice field this week after missing most of the summer with a “minor” knee issue, isn’t as likely to be ready for the start of the regular season as Rex Burkhead, another Pats running back who is supposedly recovering from a mysterious knee injury.

COOL. At this point, with pretty much the entire offense being injured or in injury purgatory, I think I might be able to persuade Bill and Josh to at least bring me in for a workout. Right??!! (All 5’7″, 150 pounds of me, with a solid 6.0-plus-second 40-time to boot. WATCH OUT.)

But no in all seriousness, this isn’t good.

First and foremost, while I’ll admit that I was pretty amped when we initially took Michel this past May, I presented his 2018 stat projections with cautious optimism (which now might not even be cautious enough) during my initial Pats running back preview at the end of July.

My reasoning: Not only do the Pats already have a solid stable of backs, each of whom was already set to get their fair share of touches in 2018, but the team also knew full well about his deteriorating knee issues, which date back to high school, before drafting him in the first round. Lo and behold, here we go again.

So what does this mean?

It means that Rex Burkhead better friggin’ be healthy. It also means my boy James White could get more burn, and either Jeremy Hill or Mike Gillislee – whichever of the two win the final spot in the rotation – are going to need to step up as well. (It also means you should probably knock Michel down a few pegs on your fantasy draft board.)

As I said in my Patriots fantasy preview last week – another article in which I expressed concern with Michel – knee issues do not just go away, especially chronic ones that don’t result from a one-off injury. So while he certainly could be ready to play again at some point within the next month, it’s probably not likely; also, even if he is, you know we’ll eventually be right back in this boat once again in the not so distant future.

I hope I’m wrong, Pats Nation, and I’m hoping for the best. But we’re not off to a good start here, and there’s a chance it could get even worse.

Richard Sherman is Launching His Own Daily Fantasy Sports Site

ESPNSan Francisco 49ers cornerback Richard Sherman is entering the daily fantasy sports businessSherman announced Thursday that his new fantasy site, Daily Number, will be launching paid contests in 23 states. Sherman is the co-founder, along with CEO Tom McAuley, and will be the chief brand ambassador, appearing in an upcoming video ad campaign.

While many NFL stars have endorsed fantasy sites, Sherman is believed to be one of the first, if not the first, to have a founding stake in a fantasy game.

I don’t know if now is the best time to just be getting into the daily fantasy business if you’re a competitor, but Richard Sherman’s a smart dude so I’ll give his new venture, Daily Number, a shot.

I try not to shoot down these equity based deals athletes sign and give it a chance first. Not because of how great or not their company is, but because of the power of branding.

Just look at Kobe Bryant and the sports drink he invested in, BodyArmor. If you asked me what BodyArmor was a few years ago I would have had no idea. If you showed me a bottle I would have said “oh right its that bootleg sports drink they sell at gas stations.”

Well Kobe’s magic branding powers touched BodyArmor, along with his $6 million investment, and less than 5 years later that investment is worth $200 MILLION. Good for him, Kobe really needed it.

So my point is, it doesn’t matter how big the competition is, there’s always room for the new guy on the block.

“Daily Number features a unique twist on traditional fantasy, with entrants creating seven-player rosters that attempt to eclipse a predetermined total amount of fantasy points, set by the site and known as the “daily number.” Each roster is given a rating. The more superstars on a roster the lower the payout is for teams that score more points than the daily number.”

The idea behind Sherman’s daily fantasy site is that instead of picking players based on monetary values like you do with DraftKings or Fan Duel, you pick a team of 7 players. Its like a middle ground between daily fantasy and regular fantasy football leagues, which is actually kind of smart. I don’t really mess with DK too much because I feel like I’m just getting hustled by algorithms and MIT math nerds. Sherman’s venture could provide the best of both worlds and help dummies like me feel, probably incorrectly, that they have a shot at winning some cash on daily fantasy.

I can’t imagine the NFL is thrilled with one of its most prominent players being a founding member of a company thats sole purpose is to gamble on games he is actively playing in. It would be hard for a cornerback to have a huge effect on someone’s fantasy day with thousands of different lineups running all at the same time, but it sure as shit won’t be hard for someone to poke holes in it.

Either way you know the commercials for this thing is gonna be dynamite with an older Richard Sherman who gives even less of a fuck what the NFL thinks about what he says or does. So you got me Richard, I’ll try it.

Top Patriots Fantasy Football Players for 2018

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Not only have we officially reached the most important week of the NFL preseason, but these next two weeks also mark perhaps the most important time of the year as a fantasy football owner. Unless you are a masochist that likes to watch one of your top draft picks blow out a knee in the preseason Week 3 dress rehearsal, or see one of your “sleepers” get the pink slip before final cuts are even made, there is no way you should have had your fantasy draft by now.

If you’re like me, you’ve got your draft scheduled for one of the next two weekends – I’ve actually got one draft on each of the next two Sundays – and if you haven’t been doing your homework by now…well, quite frankly you’re screwed.

There are also plenty of other ways to screw yourself before the season even begins. (For more examples of such, check out Red and Big Z’s “Fantasy Football Follies” podcast from last week.)

But perhaps one of the biggest ways to hurt yourself, other than drafting too early, is being too much of a homer. Look, nobody loves the Pats more than me – which I’m sure you could all tell by now – but you’ll see me donning Jets gear before I even think about drafting any Patriot besides Gronk within the first two or three rounds.

Do NOT be this person:

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Great show. AWFUL approach.

Still, I will admit that, yes, it is fun to have some of your hometown heroes on your squad, and I’m not saying you can’t make that happen. You just have to make sure you do it the right way, and ONLY IF the cards fall in your favor.

So, for all my fellow Pats fans out there, here’s a quick ranking of the team’s top fantasy-relevant players in 2018 and where you should be looking to snag them:

(Side note: Rankings are based upon a 12-team, half-point-PPR scoring system. All average draft positions [“ADP”] are courtesy of FantasyFootballCalculator.com)

Rob Gronkowski, Tight End (ADP: Round 2, Pick 11)

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Gronk is the only Patriots player who can truly give you an unquestioned advantage over your opponents each week, as this guy is in his own tier when it comes to the tight end position. While he has finished with 80-plus catches in just two of his eight seasons in the league, that’s not where his value lies. As everyone knows, Gronk is a touchdown machine, the likes of which the game has never seen at the position (or perhaps any position, for that matter), and compiles receiving yards comparable to some WR1s. Taking away the seasons in which he played less than 14 games, the man has averaged 1,051 yards and almost 12 touchdowns a year. Yes, the guy is definitely an injury risk, but it’s a risk worth taking in order to obtain a stranglehold on a position in which its difficult to find a stud outside of the top three or four players. I’d even consider drafting Gronk in the middle of the second round. So draft away, Pats Nation. Go grab Gronk, and do it early.

Chris Hogan, Wide Receiver (ADP: Round 5, Pick 3)

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With the suspension of Julian Edelman and the departure of Brandin Cooks, Hogan will be Brady’s No. 1 option at the wide receiver position to start the season – and could possibly remain the top wide-out even after Edelman comes back in Week 5. Hogan is easily the team’s best red-zone target outside of Gronk and should see an improvement upon the five scores he had in 2017. People will be quick to point out that he only had 34 receptions last year, which, in a vacuum, looks terrible. But he also only played nine games last year after a freak shoulder injury, and, most importantly, he has MUCH less to compete with this year for targets. Brady is going to need to force-feed Hogan, especially in the early part of 2018, and he could be a fine WR2.

Tom Brady, Quarterback (ADP: Round 5, Pick 3)

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There’s really not much that needs to be said here. Besides Aaron Rodgers, there is no more reliable QB in the game, in both fantasy and real-life. You know that with Brady you’re guaranteed to get at least 30 touchdowns and 4,500 passing yards, at minimum. He’s not going to get you anything on the ground, but honestly who cares? The only thing I’d say is that I am usually not a proponent of drafting a QB until the later rounds, as having a top-flight signal-caller really doesn’t give you as much of an advantage over your opponents as studs at the other skill positions. But you can feel good taking TB12 from the fifth round on.

Rex Burkhead, Running Back (ADP: Round 5, Pick 9)

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For a guy who suffered multiple injuries in 2017 and has missed the past few weeks of practice due to a “slight tear” in his knee, Burkhead has been skyrocketing up draft boards lately. It’s actually not too surprising, as the injury is (supposedly) minor and, according to reports, he could have played against the Eagles last week if it were a regular-season game. Either way, he still looks like the top dog at the position with rookie Sony Michel still sidelined with his own knee issues. The guy also had eight touchdowns in just 10 games last year and really came on strong toward the end of the season. He can handle the rock between the tackles and catch the ball out of the backfield, giving him value in both standard and PPR leagues. An 1,100-plus-total-yard, 10-touchdown season is truly not out of the realm of possibility. In fact, if Burkhead stays healthy all year, I can actually see him returning third- or fourth-round value. I’m a big fan of Sexy Rexy this year.

Sony Michel, Running Back (ADP: Round 6, Pick 10)

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PROCEED WITH CAUTION. I know everyone’s excited about the electric rookie from Georgia after the Pats surprised everyone and took him with the 31st pick in the draft this year, but there is a ton of risk involved here. First and foremost, besides Laurence Maroney, rarely has Belichick ever put much trust in rookie running backs, and even without his long history of knee issues – which date back to high school  – Michel was not going to be the next Ezekiel Elliot. Now the kid hasn’t played in weeks after a small procedure aimed at resolving a “minor” issue with, you guessed it, his knee, has kept him out a little longer than initially reported. While he’s still on track to be ready for the start of the regular season, knee issues don’t just “go away.” If he stays on the field, though, he could be a nice piece. After all, he averaged an absolutely insane 7.9 yards per carry in the SEC last year and scored 17 total touchdowns. But for now, I’m not touching the guy with a 10-foot pole, especially in PPR leagues (64 total receptions in four years at Georgia). I’m obviously hoping for the best, but let someone else in your league reach for him this year.

Julian Edelman, Wide Receiver (ADP: Round 7, Pick 9)

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Since 2013, there has perhaps been no better possession slot receiver in the NFL (besides maybe Jarvis Landry). In terms of targets and overall receptions, Jules has dominated both when it came to Brady’s favorite targets, and it’s not even close. However, Edelman is now 32 years old, missed all of last season with a torn ACL – after already missing almost half the year due to injury in 2015 – and, though he looked OK during last week’s preseason game against the Eagles, he has looked frustrated at times this offseason. Oh, and there’s the fact he’s set to miss the first quarter of the season due to suspension. He’ll most likely become the target-leader once again after he returns in Week 5, but the year-and-some-change layoff from playing with Brady could have an effect. He’s also not going to get you a ton in the way of yards and touchdowns, and he isn’t as valuable in standard leagues. Still, I think Edelman produces enough to be a low-end WR2/high-end WR3 this year, and his current ADP sounds pretty accurate if you’re willing to eat the first four weeks.

James White, Running Back (ADP: Round 13, Pick 2)

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After Edelman, there’s a pretty big drop-off in terms of Patriots fantasy relevance, with my boy James White currently clocking in around the 13th round. White is one of those guys who, while capable of having solid fantasy games, is much more of a real-life asset. He is the team’s unquestioned passing-down back, receiving at least 70 targets and at least 50 catches over each of the past two seasons. Though he could receive a bump in ball-carrying opportunities this year, especially considering both Burkhead’s and Michel’s injury history, he’s not going to get you much between the tackles. He could be a solid RB3/4, depending on your league, but in no instance should he ever be a weekly starter. Basically, it comes down to this with White: If you’re in a half-point PPR, take him here; if you’re in a full-point PPR, I might even take him a few rounds higher; if you’re in a standard league, leave him alone.

Other than that, while there may be some outbreak performances from some of the under-the-radar guys, there really aren’t many other Pats you should be targeting on draft day. Keep an eye out for them on the waiver wire when opportunity strikes, but for now I wouldn’t touch them.

Best of luck to all my fellow fantasy nerds over the next few weeks – unless you’re in one of my leagues, of course – and be sure to let us know how you like my rankings in the comments below.

The 300s Podcast: Fantasy Football Follies

Football is back, thank christ. So this week, as summer is winding down, we turn our attention to the biggest productivity killer in corporate America; fantasy football.

-Flatscreen TVs are now disposable apparently

-Since I can’t play poker, Fantasy Football allows me to feel like a man and gamble

-Is DraftKings too much math and not enough fantasy?

-Hot Take: Live Drafts SUCK

Subscribe, rate, and review The 300s Podcast on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify!

Defenses Should Not Win Fantasy Football Championships

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With another fantasy football regular season in the books and the playoffs starting tonight, it’s time for me to share my biggest takeaway from the 2017 campaign.  The time has come for the Defense/Special Teams position in fantasy football to be completely reevaluated and be massively overhauled or eliminated completely.

The NFL is constantly evolving. The NFL is not afraid to make changes that make the game more exciting, fairer and (hopefully) safer. In just the last few years extra points have been moved out to the 15-yard line, overtime has been made (slightly) more equitable, and kickoffs and touchbacks have been moved around. It’s time for fantasy football to show that same ingenuity.

The top scoring defensive unit in fantasy football last week was Miami. In a standard Yahoo! league, the Miami defense posted 28 points and was the fourth-highest scorer of the week. The same Miami defense that is 15th in real football against the pass, 21st against the run and 24th in points allowed.

Among the top 20 scorers in fantasy football last week, 7 were quarterbacks, 6 were running backs, 3 were wide receivers, 1 was a tight end and 3 were defenses. I know the Dolphins were playing against the rudderless Denver Broncos offense – making them a smart waiver wire pick up – but are you comfortable with a defense being as important to a fantasy football lineup as every other position? I’m not. Especially considering how fickle fantasy defenses can be.

The top defense in fantasy football this season, Jacksonville, has had four weeks with 20+ points, five weeks with 10-19 points, two weeks with 0-9 points and one week with negative points. On what planet does it make sense that they scored 15 points in a 23-20 loss to the Jets and only 5 points in a 20-17 win over the Chargers? I thought football was a results oriented business? I don’t care how many sacks or interceptions my team has, I’ll take the 20-17 win over the 23-20 loss every damn week.

How do we solve this problem? I’d be fine eliminating the position from fantasy football all together. Picking up Miami last week may have been smart, but I say it was more like winning on a scratch ticket. Don’t tell me there is skill in fantasy football and then tell me the goddam Dolphins defense was the fourth-best play of the week. A defensive unit owned in a whopping 11% of leagues last week.

I’d also be fine going back to the old days and only awarding points for safeties and defensive touchdowns. Denver gave up 35 points to Miami, but did manage a pick six. It’s akin to a quarterback throwing TD passes when his team is down by four touchdowns in the fourth quarter. It still got on the scoreboard.

My last proposal would be for defenses to go head-to-head. If my opponent played the Minnesota Defense (9 points allowed) last week and I played the New England Defense (3 points allowed), only my team would score points at the defense position. It could be a set point total every week, such as 1, 3 or 6, to keep defenses from becoming more important than real position players. Or it could be the difference in points allowed (6 in this example). That would value actual, real-world defense. Not fluky kick returns and flashy INTs.

If you have any better ideas, please let me know.

Ezekiel Elliott, Suspended AGAIN!

ESPNA federal appeals court cleared the way Thursday for the NFL to impose a six-game suspension on Dallas Cowboys star Ezekiel Elliott over domestic violence allegations, siding with the league in the latest high-profile fight over its ability to punish players for off-field behavior. In a 2-1 decision, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals panel in New Orleans granted the league’s emergency request to set aside an injunction and ordered a district court in Texas to dismiss Elliott’s case. The NFL announced that the suspension was effective immediately, though further appeals were possible and the Cowboys are not playing this weekend.

As a guy that used a First Round pick to keep Ezekiel Elliott in my Fantasy Football league this year, I just need to get something off my chest.

Alright, now we can move on.

The NFL really is the goddamn WWE these days. Just drama week after week, storylines all over the place. The last two years was was Tom Brady and Deflategate with the Patriots trying to fight city hall (and losing). Now we got this.

I’m actually pretty shocked at this turn of events. As we talked about on The 300s Podcast recently, I really did not think that the NFL would be able to get this overturned and Zeke would be able to play all year. Basically just kick the can down the road until next season, similar to Brady.

The NFLPA’s new playbook seems to be lets just challenge everything in court and keep the NFL constantly in the news with shitty headlines until the league comes back to the table to negotiate player punishment.

HA! Silly me for thinking Roger Goodell would give up his dictator level of power so easily.

Now the crown jewel of my fantasy team, Ezekiel Elliott, is suspended once again. Full disclosure, if Zeke did what he’s accused of doing he’s obviously a scumbag. BUT, if he didn’t and Roger Goodell just tanked my fantasy season then I’m gonna flip my goddamn desk.

Yesterday news broke at the ripe old time of 5:01 pm as I was leaving my cube job. So I had to run to the waiver wire and deal with Sophie’s Choice of whether to pick up Darren McFadden (has been a healthy scratch all year) or Alfred Morris (has actually played football this season). I pulled the trigger and went with Morris, but I’m sure the Cowboys will turn to a guy who couldn’t get in uniform to be the bell cow back moving forward because fantasy football is a goddamn crapshoot.

And of course the Cowboys are on a bye this week so I have to wait another 9 days to see who the hell is gonna get the rock for Dallas.

Cowboys Receiver Cole Beasley Just Ethered Some Fantasy Football Nerd

You come at the king, you best not miss. Cole Beasley just put this fantasy football owner in a goddamn body bag.

You just heard two sounds. One was Cole hitting Enter on his keyboard, the other was this kid hitting the ground. You have to love the utterly absurd phrase of “Don’t mother fuck me bro.” I’m gonna have to start working that into conversations from now on. If you’re gonna shit talk Cole Beasley about his fantasy football production then be prepared to face the repercussions.

Don’t worry Cole, I got you.

Here’s the Billion Dollar DraftKings Lineup

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As I mentioned on The 300s podcast Monday, this Billion – With a B – Dollar Challenge from DraftKings was complete and total bullshit with a B. Daily Fantasy Sports Codes proved my point when they reported that the Billion Dollar Lineup would have scored 232.98 points, while the top lineup for the week only scored 198.44.

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Here’s a comparison of the top lineup and the “perfect” lineup, from Daily Fantasy Sports Codes:

lineups

I can’t believe no one thought to draft three Lions, three rookies and a bottom-ten defense from a year ago to crack the code.

Again, I understand that a contest for such a large sum of money has to be nearly to impossible to win. The Billion Dollar Bracket is damn near impossible to win but at least offers a tiny glimpse of hope. I’m pretty good at predicting first round games. If I run the table in the first round, it’s just 31 more coin flips in a row that need to go my way for the billion. Also, I can pick all four one seeds in the first round. The billion dollar lineup was not that simple.

It was not “pick the best player at all these positions.” That would be hard enough. It was draft “the lineup that scores the most DraftKings fantasy points that could possibly be scored within the salary cap and position requirements.” I’d rather take my chances with Powerball. I know for a fact someone has won Powerball in the past. I don’t think anyone in a thousand years will draft the “perfect” lineup.