Tag: Fantasy Sports

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 3

Blogger’s Note: Sorry for the tardiness this week. Big time snooze button week for the boys at The 300s. Leave us alone.

Welcome back. Week 3 has come and gone already. So have the playoff hopes of many of your favorite teams. Sorry I’m not sorry. Anyway, it was an interesting week in fantasy football, particularly within this modest enterprise. Losers became winners. Winners became losers. Some things didn’t change. Let’s check it out.


Biz Z (2-1)

Week 3 was a good week for the Z Men. A very good week. We rolled up 191 points. A personal record, and the highest one-week total in the 12-year history of my league. My only regret was starting Allen Robinson over Brandin Cooks. That kept me from hitting two bills. (Side note – my league’s scoring system is a bit goofy. Even in a standard Yahoo league I would’ve posted 159.)


Dom (2-1)

The Scruffy Looking Nerfherders did it again. Led by a 43 point showing by Keenan Allen and rounded out by solid games by Brady, Zeke, TY Hilton, Marlon Mack, I hardly noticed the duds by Conner and Andrews. Conner is really starting to frustrate me, but luckily I have the depth to wait him out or try to make a 2 for 1 trade. I’m only 5 points back of the league lead in points, so I’m feeling great going into Week 4.

Joey B (0-3)

I would have finally gotten on the board had I started recently acquired Rex Burkhead. But I did not. Did I err in starting someone else? Nope, just simply forgot to sub him in. “Things fall apart, the center cannot hold.”


Red (0-3)

Another week, another painful fantasy loss for your boy. This one was especially tough to swallow because my opponent jumped into the way back machine to pull out the W. I lost by 4 points after Lesean fucking Mccoy went off for 21 points like it was 2013 again. It also did not help that Ezekiel Elliott’s own backup outscored him by 5 points with garbage time points. Goddamnit.

 

Mattes (3-0)

My entire team dominated this week, and I ended up being the third-highest scorer yet again. That’s now three-straight top-three finishes, and I cannot believe how great of a start it’s been. Even my flexes showed out this week, as I got unreal performances from both Sterling Shepard and Rex Burkhead. Dak, Dalvin, and Kelce continue to roll; Kerryon is at least getting volume and is due to explode soon; Thielen finally got a bit more involved on Sunday; and my bench is still stacked, with Scary Terry McLaurin set to get his first start this week as well. I’m waiting for the inevitable crash and burn, but I’ll take 3-0!!!

 

Lippa (2-1)

A solid 138 point week from my team to move to 2-1. Things were looking a little hazy when Mike Evans scored a bazillion points in the first half of his game, but Tyler Lockett and Alvin Kamara balled out in the second half of that Seahawks/Saints game to get me up to 2-1. Next week QB streaming continues, as Josh Allen goes to the waiver bog, and Matthew Stafford, your time is now, as you face a porous Chiefs secondary.

 

The 300s Bloggers’ James Develin is a Playmaker Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 13

Welcome back. Another week and another 3 days of the highest of highs and lowest of lows. We laughed, we cried, we screamed at the tv/computer screen, terrifying dogs and neighbors alike. Fantasy amiright?!

The two most important things to note about this past week in the NF of L was that A.) Tom Brady has more career rushing yards than Sony Michel. Which is just embarrassing; and B.) James Develin is becoming a legitimate red zone threat which, laugh at it or not, frees up other skill position players for opportunities. In the words of Aubrey, “YEEEaaa, be very afraid.”

Red

I got NINETEEN points from my kicker this past week to just barely squeak out a win. Alas, I missed the playoffs by one game, primarily because Matt Stafford hosed me last week and multiple times throughout the season. But thats what happens when you click the wrong thing and accidentally draft an asshole in the 8th round. They say a pictures worth a thousand words and Yahoo helped me summarize my season in just one image.

Papa G

Blogger’s Note: That was seriously all Papa G submitted. Please keep him in your thoughts.

Big Z

The Z-Men won 121-98 in Week 13, led once again by Christian McCaffrey who put up a cool 25 points. James Conner iced the match Sunday night with two early touchdowns. The win is my squad’s 6th in 7 weeks, enough to improve to 9-4 on the season and secure a first round bye in the fantasy playoffs.

The bye week is huge because it guarantees me a “bowl game” and a crack at at least getting my money back. Let’s just hope I don’t run up two bills in my bye week and run out of gas down the stretch for a second-straight season.

Joey B

I lost again and am last in both pure record and points for for the year. I don’t know where it all went so, so wrong. Fuck you Matthew Stafford. Fuck you Jordan Howard. Fuck every WR not named Michael Thomas.

Mattes

So I failed to make the playoffs in both leagues, and it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning. For a guy who invests way more time than the average person following fantasy football and searching the depths of the Internet for any and all things related to it – no, seriously, it might be actually be a problem – this one really hurts. It’s not like my teams were all that bad either; I was top-three in points against in both leagues, and I lost two games by less than a point while freakin’ TYING another. I know I sound like a dope making excuses right now, but I picked up guys like Aaron Jones, D.J. Moore, Josh Adams, and Tarik Cohen this year, playing the wire like a fiddle all year long. But in fantasy as well as life, it’s all about who you’re matched up against, and it just wasn’t my year. I can still win the loser’s bracket in each league, starting with a first-round matchup against Red this week in one of them. I guess that’s something.

The 300s Bloggers’ “HAHA EAT IT MANISH MEHTA” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 12

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The thing about New York sports fans is that they REALLY show up for their own. They think their players, coaches, and, for whatever reason, sports media personalities are Gods amongst men. Like there is a CONVENTION for Mike Francesa fans. To repeat, a sports radio show host has his own convention. It is kind of bizarre and really not relatable for those of us outside of the tri-state area.

Which is why it really says something that even New Yorkers hate Manish Mehta. He is a troll through and through that is not as much of a troll sports writer as he is a troll writer who decided to apply his trolliness to sports. Gross.

And he recently came for Gronk. Said he was washed and done and sad and depressed. Well, unfortunately for M-Squared Gronk came back Sunday and the Pats beat the Jets. There was a Gronk-spike and all.

Gronks have 87 lives, motherfucker.

Red

This is it. It took 12 weeks, but I am breaking up with Matt Stafford. After burying any chance I had before the turkey was even on the table with 7 points on Thursday, I am breaking it off. This is likely the last shot I had at the playoffs as even an average performance from Stafford gives me the win. I may just start an empty QB slot moving forward in a silent protest.

 

Joey B

I’m officially out of it so this shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter that I lost a BARN BURNER with a final score of 60-51 (nope, no one forgot to set their line-ups). But I forgot to put in Gronk. Those points would have given me the win. Forgive me big man.

 

Papa G

It’s curtains for my fantasy teams. Shout out to Fournette getting suspended too. Appreciate the self-control. We’ve officially moved into “who should I pick for my keepers” mode. TRASH.

 

Mattes

I’d like to start off this week by apologizing to one Amari Cooper. Since becoming a Cowboy, the man has averaged 17 points a game, which included a bananas 38-point showing on Turkey Day. That performance helped me beat Papa Giorgio this week, finally giving my suddenly resurgent team more than one measly win on the year and potentially playing spoiler for my fellow blogger’s season. I have changed my team name to “Amari’s Resurrection” in his honor. Maybe Oakland really does just suck THAT bad.

A couple “coulda, woulda, shouldas” sank my other team this week. I went for the upside with Lamar Jackson as my QB2 behind Rivers, but the extra 10 from Cousins, who was on my bench, would’ve given me the win. Or maybe playing Aaron Jones over Mark Ingram this week would’ve done it, too. I now need to win this week and have two other teams lose to get into the postseason. I’m literally hanging on by the short and curlies right now.

 

Big Z

With another big win in Week 12, the Z-Men have won 5 of their last 6. Fantasy football isn’t that hard when you get steady quarterback play, contributions from a few wide receivers, and 43 points out of Christian McCaffrey.

A win in Week 13 will lock up a first round bye and a guaranteed crack at some prize money. LET’S GO!

-Joey B
Blogger | Crier | British Television Obsessive| Whiskey Dickist

The 300s Bloggers’ WEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 8

So I know this is a fantasy FOOTBALL blog but fuck me if I’m not going to again mention my, and your, 2018 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. Champagne for everyone. (No, I’m not adding that stupid fucking hashtag because I’m not 12. Carry on.)

Lots going on this week in the NFL. Trade deadline is set for 4:00pm EST today and there are a ton of names that could move, both stemming from general disgruntlement (actually is a word) and teams in complete disarray that might as well have a yard sale to get ready for the future.

Speaking of disarray, let’s see how we all did this week.

Joey B (Completely Incompetent)

I got paved again which was not fun. This was highlighted by C.J Uzomah dropping  a goose egg and Sammy Watkins lit it up on my bench while watching his counterpart, Devin Funchess, do dick on the field. I still managed about 110 pts though, which isn’t awful for a loss. We’re trending.

Papa G (Bill and Mets fan)

Got absolutely thrashed this week. 0-3 across all my leagues. That bum RB on New England did nothing for me and I’m still down 3 or 4 starters. Dalvin Cook and Leonard Fournette better come back soon or this is going to go off the rails quickly. I’m a fringe playoff team in all my leagues and I need someone to step up to the plate quickly. Thank god for James Conner, that’s really all I have to say.

 

Red (Drives to New Hampshire for wine)

I don’t often make good decisions in fantasy football, but when I do I like to peacock. Chris Carson has been riding my bench all year, but I threw him in my lineup and he rewarded me with 22 points in a week where I was without Ezekiel Elliott. Also shoutout to Mattes for giving me this opportunity. With a win against him this week, its kept me at .500 and while not clinically dead, my team is still on life support with an outside shot at the playoffs. Mattes has since changed his team name to BYE WEEK so I’m sure he was thrilled with his players’ effort. 

Big Z (Don’t know much about the guy, may not exist)

No complaints from me. I rolled up a league-high 126 points this week. I guess I could have had a a few extra points had I played Christian McCaffrey instead of James White, or pretty much anyone instead of Devin Funchess, but that’s small potatoes. I’m now in second place in my league despite being 8th in total points. Must be my “defense.”

Things are definitely looking up for the Big Z Fantasy Empire

 

Mattes (Possible addition to chicken wings)

1-7…ONE AND FREAKIN’ SEVEN. I have NEVER suffered through such a miserable season, or even come close. The sad part is I thought I had a pretty good chance to win this week, but Red had Davante Adams and a resurgent Larry Fitz go H.A.M. for him on Sunday. Getting a goose egg from your tight end doesn’t help either. This just sucks.

Lost in my other league as well, falling to .500 on the year. DJ didn’t have the breakout game I was hoping for now that he has a competent offensive coordinator calling plays. I also had to stream C.J. Beathard this week with Rivers on a bye. (It’s a two-QB league; the only other option on the wire was Brock Osweiler, so don’t judge.) Also, O.J. Howard and Tarik Cohen, both of whom I somehow picked up just two weeks ago, continue be awesome. This team’s doing OK. At least I got something to still give a shit about.

The 300s “No One Named Eli Has Ever Been Good At Anything” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 7

I’m busy at work and mad at fantasy football so all I have to say is go Sox and enjoy the fantasy takes.

Mattes

Having the second-least amount of points in the league and the most points scored against is just not a good combo. Got an almost 40-berger out of Mitchell Trubisky as a streamer and still lost by almost 80 to the league’s top scorer. At least I have an extra second-rounder next year, and it’s looking like Kerryon Johnson is going to be a stud sixth-round keeper (179 yards of total offense this week). I’m just trying not to finish last at this point.

Had a great week in my other league, but – you guessed it! – I ran into the week’s high-scorer. Got 70 points out of my receivers alone, though, and now that Arizona has someone competent running the offense I’m hoping David Johnson has a little second-half resurgence.  Also, it looks like I’m not going to lose Sony Michel for the year after all, and I was somehow able to snag Tarik Cohen last week, who has three-straight 20-plus point games. I’m 4-3 and feeling good about things to come.

 

Papa G

In a shocking turn of events, I continued my hot streak to go 3-0 again this week. Beat Red by a solid 3 points thanks to Julio Jones. A special thanks to the New York Giants for being a dumpster fire and making this all possible. In one of my other leagues I won by .14 points so luck was on my side this week. Fully expect to nose dive soon enough though.

 

Red

I would like to thank Ezekiel Elliott for murdering any chances I had this week in both of my leagues with a whopping 5 points. How bout them Cowboys indeed. Also, shoutout to Papa Giorgio for beating me by 3 points on garbage time stats in the 4th quarter of Monday Night Football. 

 

Big Z

Picked up a 98-81 win in Week 7 to improve to 4-3 and move into a tie for third place in my league. James White and the New England D/ST came up big for me. Of course it didn’t hurt that my opponent wasn’t up for the London game in time to bench Melvin Gordon who was out.

My only gripe comes from the TE position. I’ve got Eric Ebron and George Kittle. They both seem to be boom or bust, and I’ve yet to figure how to play the right guy any given week. At least it didn’t cost me a win in Week 7, and gets me a little bit closer to the Bench Points Championship

 

Joey B

My team is just awful and I lost by 20 to fall to 3-4. Whatever.

 

 

Top Patriots Fantasy Football Players for 2018

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Not only have we officially reached the most important week of the NFL preseason, but these next two weeks also mark perhaps the most important time of the year as a fantasy football owner. Unless you are a masochist that likes to watch one of your top draft picks blow out a knee in the preseason Week 3 dress rehearsal, or see one of your “sleepers” get the pink slip before final cuts are even made, there is no way you should have had your fantasy draft by now.

If you’re like me, you’ve got your draft scheduled for one of the next two weekends – I’ve actually got one draft on each of the next two Sundays – and if you haven’t been doing your homework by now…well, quite frankly you’re screwed.

There are also plenty of other ways to screw yourself before the season even begins. (For more examples of such, check out Red and Big Z’s “Fantasy Football Follies” podcast from last week.)

But perhaps one of the biggest ways to hurt yourself, other than drafting too early, is being too much of a homer. Look, nobody loves the Pats more than me – which I’m sure you could all tell by now – but you’ll see me donning Jets gear before I even think about drafting any Patriot besides Gronk within the first two or three rounds.

Do NOT be this person:

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Great show. AWFUL approach.

Still, I will admit that, yes, it is fun to have some of your hometown heroes on your squad, and I’m not saying you can’t make that happen. You just have to make sure you do it the right way, and ONLY IF the cards fall in your favor.

So, for all my fellow Pats fans out there, here’s a quick ranking of the team’s top fantasy-relevant players in 2018 and where you should be looking to snag them:

(Side note: Rankings are based upon a 12-team, half-point-PPR scoring system. All average draft positions [“ADP”] are courtesy of FantasyFootballCalculator.com)

Rob Gronkowski, Tight End (ADP: Round 2, Pick 11)

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Gronk is the only Patriots player who can truly give you an unquestioned advantage over your opponents each week, as this guy is in his own tier when it comes to the tight end position. While he has finished with 80-plus catches in just two of his eight seasons in the league, that’s not where his value lies. As everyone knows, Gronk is a touchdown machine, the likes of which the game has never seen at the position (or perhaps any position, for that matter), and compiles receiving yards comparable to some WR1s. Taking away the seasons in which he played less than 14 games, the man has averaged 1,051 yards and almost 12 touchdowns a year. Yes, the guy is definitely an injury risk, but it’s a risk worth taking in order to obtain a stranglehold on a position in which its difficult to find a stud outside of the top three or four players. I’d even consider drafting Gronk in the middle of the second round. So draft away, Pats Nation. Go grab Gronk, and do it early.

Chris Hogan, Wide Receiver (ADP: Round 5, Pick 3)

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With the suspension of Julian Edelman and the departure of Brandin Cooks, Hogan will be Brady’s No. 1 option at the wide receiver position to start the season – and could possibly remain the top wide-out even after Edelman comes back in Week 5. Hogan is easily the team’s best red-zone target outside of Gronk and should see an improvement upon the five scores he had in 2017. People will be quick to point out that he only had 34 receptions last year, which, in a vacuum, looks terrible. But he also only played nine games last year after a freak shoulder injury, and, most importantly, he has MUCH less to compete with this year for targets. Brady is going to need to force-feed Hogan, especially in the early part of 2018, and he could be a fine WR2.

Tom Brady, Quarterback (ADP: Round 5, Pick 3)

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There’s really not much that needs to be said here. Besides Aaron Rodgers, there is no more reliable QB in the game, in both fantasy and real-life. You know that with Brady you’re guaranteed to get at least 30 touchdowns and 4,500 passing yards, at minimum. He’s not going to get you anything on the ground, but honestly who cares? The only thing I’d say is that I am usually not a proponent of drafting a QB until the later rounds, as having a top-flight signal-caller really doesn’t give you as much of an advantage over your opponents as studs at the other skill positions. But you can feel good taking TB12 from the fifth round on.

Rex Burkhead, Running Back (ADP: Round 5, Pick 9)

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For a guy who suffered multiple injuries in 2017 and has missed the past few weeks of practice due to a “slight tear” in his knee, Burkhead has been skyrocketing up draft boards lately. It’s actually not too surprising, as the injury is (supposedly) minor and, according to reports, he could have played against the Eagles last week if it were a regular-season game. Either way, he still looks like the top dog at the position with rookie Sony Michel still sidelined with his own knee issues. The guy also had eight touchdowns in just 10 games last year and really came on strong toward the end of the season. He can handle the rock between the tackles and catch the ball out of the backfield, giving him value in both standard and PPR leagues. An 1,100-plus-total-yard, 10-touchdown season is truly not out of the realm of possibility. In fact, if Burkhead stays healthy all year, I can actually see him returning third- or fourth-round value. I’m a big fan of Sexy Rexy this year.

Sony Michel, Running Back (ADP: Round 6, Pick 10)

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PROCEED WITH CAUTION. I know everyone’s excited about the electric rookie from Georgia after the Pats surprised everyone and took him with the 31st pick in the draft this year, but there is a ton of risk involved here. First and foremost, besides Laurence Maroney, rarely has Belichick ever put much trust in rookie running backs, and even without his long history of knee issues – which date back to high school  – Michel was not going to be the next Ezekiel Elliot. Now the kid hasn’t played in weeks after a small procedure aimed at resolving a “minor” issue with, you guessed it, his knee, has kept him out a little longer than initially reported. While he’s still on track to be ready for the start of the regular season, knee issues don’t just “go away.” If he stays on the field, though, he could be a nice piece. After all, he averaged an absolutely insane 7.9 yards per carry in the SEC last year and scored 17 total touchdowns. But for now, I’m not touching the guy with a 10-foot pole, especially in PPR leagues (64 total receptions in four years at Georgia). I’m obviously hoping for the best, but let someone else in your league reach for him this year.

Julian Edelman, Wide Receiver (ADP: Round 7, Pick 9)

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Since 2013, there has perhaps been no better possession slot receiver in the NFL (besides maybe Jarvis Landry). In terms of targets and overall receptions, Jules has dominated both when it came to Brady’s favorite targets, and it’s not even close. However, Edelman is now 32 years old, missed all of last season with a torn ACL – after already missing almost half the year due to injury in 2015 – and, though he looked OK during last week’s preseason game against the Eagles, he has looked frustrated at times this offseason. Oh, and there’s the fact he’s set to miss the first quarter of the season due to suspension. He’ll most likely become the target-leader once again after he returns in Week 5, but the year-and-some-change layoff from playing with Brady could have an effect. He’s also not going to get you a ton in the way of yards and touchdowns, and he isn’t as valuable in standard leagues. Still, I think Edelman produces enough to be a low-end WR2/high-end WR3 this year, and his current ADP sounds pretty accurate if you’re willing to eat the first four weeks.

James White, Running Back (ADP: Round 13, Pick 2)

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After Edelman, there’s a pretty big drop-off in terms of Patriots fantasy relevance, with my boy James White currently clocking in around the 13th round. White is one of those guys who, while capable of having solid fantasy games, is much more of a real-life asset. He is the team’s unquestioned passing-down back, receiving at least 70 targets and at least 50 catches over each of the past two seasons. Though he could receive a bump in ball-carrying opportunities this year, especially considering both Burkhead’s and Michel’s injury history, he’s not going to get you much between the tackles. He could be a solid RB3/4, depending on your league, but in no instance should he ever be a weekly starter. Basically, it comes down to this with White: If you’re in a half-point PPR, take him here; if you’re in a full-point PPR, I might even take him a few rounds higher; if you’re in a standard league, leave him alone.

Other than that, while there may be some outbreak performances from some of the under-the-radar guys, there really aren’t many other Pats you should be targeting on draft day. Keep an eye out for them on the waiver wire when opportunity strikes, but for now I wouldn’t touch them.

Best of luck to all my fellow fantasy nerds over the next few weeks – unless you’re in one of my leagues, of course – and be sure to let us know how you like my rankings in the comments below.

Defenses Should Not Win Fantasy Football Championships

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With another fantasy football regular season in the books and the playoffs starting tonight, it’s time for me to share my biggest takeaway from the 2017 campaign.  The time has come for the Defense/Special Teams position in fantasy football to be completely reevaluated and be massively overhauled or eliminated completely.

The NFL is constantly evolving. The NFL is not afraid to make changes that make the game more exciting, fairer and (hopefully) safer. In just the last few years extra points have been moved out to the 15-yard line, overtime has been made (slightly) more equitable, and kickoffs and touchbacks have been moved around. It’s time for fantasy football to show that same ingenuity.

The top scoring defensive unit in fantasy football last week was Miami. In a standard Yahoo! league, the Miami defense posted 28 points and was the fourth-highest scorer of the week. The same Miami defense that is 15th in real football against the pass, 21st against the run and 24th in points allowed.

Among the top 20 scorers in fantasy football last week, 7 were quarterbacks, 6 were running backs, 3 were wide receivers, 1 was a tight end and 3 were defenses. I know the Dolphins were playing against the rudderless Denver Broncos offense – making them a smart waiver wire pick up – but are you comfortable with a defense being as important to a fantasy football lineup as every other position? I’m not. Especially considering how fickle fantasy defenses can be.

The top defense in fantasy football this season, Jacksonville, has had four weeks with 20+ points, five weeks with 10-19 points, two weeks with 0-9 points and one week with negative points. On what planet does it make sense that they scored 15 points in a 23-20 loss to the Jets and only 5 points in a 20-17 win over the Chargers? I thought football was a results oriented business? I don’t care how many sacks or interceptions my team has, I’ll take the 20-17 win over the 23-20 loss every damn week.

How do we solve this problem? I’d be fine eliminating the position from fantasy football all together. Picking up Miami last week may have been smart, but I say it was more like winning on a scratch ticket. Don’t tell me there is skill in fantasy football and then tell me the goddam Dolphins defense was the fourth-best play of the week. A defensive unit owned in a whopping 11% of leagues last week.

I’d also be fine going back to the old days and only awarding points for safeties and defensive touchdowns. Denver gave up 35 points to Miami, but did manage a pick six. It’s akin to a quarterback throwing TD passes when his team is down by four touchdowns in the fourth quarter. It still got on the scoreboard.

My last proposal would be for defenses to go head-to-head. If my opponent played the Minnesota Defense (9 points allowed) last week and I played the New England Defense (3 points allowed), only my team would score points at the defense position. It could be a set point total every week, such as 1, 3 or 6, to keep defenses from becoming more important than real position players. Or it could be the difference in points allowed (6 in this example). That would value actual, real-world defense. Not fluky kick returns and flashy INTs.

If you have any better ideas, please let me know.

Ezekiel Elliott, Suspended AGAIN!

ESPNA federal appeals court cleared the way Thursday for the NFL to impose a six-game suspension on Dallas Cowboys star Ezekiel Elliott over domestic violence allegations, siding with the league in the latest high-profile fight over its ability to punish players for off-field behavior. In a 2-1 decision, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals panel in New Orleans granted the league’s emergency request to set aside an injunction and ordered a district court in Texas to dismiss Elliott’s case. The NFL announced that the suspension was effective immediately, though further appeals were possible and the Cowboys are not playing this weekend.

As a guy that used a First Round pick to keep Ezekiel Elliott in my Fantasy Football league this year, I just need to get something off my chest.

Alright, now we can move on.

The NFL really is the goddamn WWE these days. Just drama week after week, storylines all over the place. The last two years was was Tom Brady and Deflategate with the Patriots trying to fight city hall (and losing). Now we got this.

I’m actually pretty shocked at this turn of events. As we talked about on The 300s Podcast recently, I really did not think that the NFL would be able to get this overturned and Zeke would be able to play all year. Basically just kick the can down the road until next season, similar to Brady.

The NFLPA’s new playbook seems to be lets just challenge everything in court and keep the NFL constantly in the news with shitty headlines until the league comes back to the table to negotiate player punishment.

HA! Silly me for thinking Roger Goodell would give up his dictator level of power so easily.

Now the crown jewel of my fantasy team, Ezekiel Elliott, is suspended once again. Full disclosure, if Zeke did what he’s accused of doing he’s obviously a scumbag. BUT, if he didn’t and Roger Goodell just tanked my fantasy season then I’m gonna flip my goddamn desk.

Yesterday news broke at the ripe old time of 5:01 pm as I was leaving my cube job. So I had to run to the waiver wire and deal with Sophie’s Choice of whether to pick up Darren McFadden (has been a healthy scratch all year) or Alfred Morris (has actually played football this season). I pulled the trigger and went with Morris, but I’m sure the Cowboys will turn to a guy who couldn’t get in uniform to be the bell cow back moving forward because fantasy football is a goddamn crapshoot.

And of course the Cowboys are on a bye this week so I have to wait another 9 days to see who the hell is gonna get the rock for Dallas.

DraftKings WNBA is Here and I’m Already Gambling On It

I am going to have so. much. action. on WNBA games this year. I wrote about this back when the news first dropped and I am just as excited now as I was then.

Finding a WNBA jersey on the racks of AJ Wright (RIP) or Mashalls though has been my white whale. As a huge proponent of ugly and outlandish jerseys I need a WNBA representative in my collection. Hell in college we even had a gigantic, life size Diana Taurasi cutout in our dorm.

Now will I actually watch any of the games? Of course not. Not until one of the ladies can dunk without it making national headlines. And don’t tell me its a more pure game because its “more about the fundamentals than athleticism.” FOH with that. Go start a league with Tim Duncan and everyone can practice their form on jumpers from the elbow.

BUT, allow me to gamble on it? Now I am IN. Its really a shame Bob Kraft hasn’t bought a WNBA team and brought it to the Garden because I would be there front row for that shit. Plus everyone has already mastered NBA and NFL DraftKings so I’m basically burning my money when I play daily fantasy there. WNBA though? That has got to be an untapped market. Not too many WNBA experts walking the streets. Except me of course. So with that being said The 300s officially launched our DraftKings WNBA league this week. Ladies jersey of your choice to the winner.

PS – How bullshit is it that dunks don’t count as extra points?

WNBA Daily Fantasy is Here and I am……IN

NY Daily News – The WNBA is entering the daily fantasy sports market. The league announced a partnership with FanDuel on Thursday — the first time a women’s professional sports league will be available in one-day fantasy games…The site will also have its normal offerings of daily fantasy contests in which people can win money by picking a lineup of WNBA players and pitting them against other players. The WNBA is hoping this new venture brings more fans to the league, which starts its 21st season this weekend.

I am so, so, so IN on WNBA daily fantasy. This is it guys, this is how I build my empire. I was late to the party on NFL, NBA, NHL even Golf and MMA have daily fantasy now. But WNBA? I am diving in head first. Not to mention I could buy courtside seats with my winnings for like $35 right?

The fact that you can bet on a game at halftime is absurd enough, but now I can literally lay my hard earned cash on the table building my fantasy team around Skyler Diggins? Is a dunk worth extra points? Its gotta be right? Shore up the end of my bench with a savvy vet like Diana Taurasi. I think she still plays?

What happens when Candace Parker gets pregnant though? That could potentially tank my season. Shit, that could actually be the FanDuel commercial. Redraft your team every day so unexpected pregnancies don’t ruin your WNBA fantasy season!

Recap: I am IN on WNBA FanDuel.