Tag: Fantasy

The 300s Bloggers’ WEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 8

So I know this is a fantasy FOOTBALL blog but fuck me if I’m not going to again mention my, and your, 2018 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. Champagne for everyone. (No, I’m not adding that stupid fucking hashtag because I’m not 12. Carry on.)

Lots going on this week in the NFL. Trade deadline is set for 4:00pm EST today and there are a ton of names that could move, both stemming from general disgruntlement (actually is a word) and teams in complete disarray that might as well have a yard sale to get ready for the future.

Speaking of disarray, let’s see how we all did this week.

Joey B (Completely Incompetent)

I got paved again which was not fun. This was highlighted by C.J Uzomah dropping  a goose egg and Sammy Watkins lit it up on my bench while watching his counterpart, Devin Funchess, do dick on the field. I still managed about 110 pts though, which isn’t awful for a loss. We’re trending.

Papa G (Bill and Mets fan)

Got absolutely thrashed this week. 0-3 across all my leagues. That bum RB on New England did nothing for me and I’m still down 3 or 4 starters. Dalvin Cook and Leonard Fournette better come back soon or this is going to go off the rails quickly. I’m a fringe playoff team in all my leagues and I need someone to step up to the plate quickly. Thank god for James Conner, that’s really all I have to say.

 

Red (Drives to New Hampshire for wine)

I don’t often make good decisions in fantasy football, but when I do I like to peacock. Chris Carson has been riding my bench all year, but I threw him in my lineup and he rewarded me with 22 points in a week where I was without Ezekiel Elliott. Also shoutout to Mattes for giving me this opportunity. With a win against him this week, its kept me at .500 and while not clinically dead, my team is still on life support with an outside shot at the playoffs. Mattes has since changed his team name to BYE WEEK so I’m sure he was thrilled with his players’ effort. 

Big Z (Don’t know much about the guy, may not exist)

No complaints from me. I rolled up a league-high 126 points this week. I guess I could have had a a few extra points had I played Christian McCaffrey instead of James White, or pretty much anyone instead of Devin Funchess, but that’s small potatoes. I’m now in second place in my league despite being 8th in total points. Must be my “defense.”

Things are definitely looking up for the Big Z Fantasy Empire

 

Mattes (Possible addition to chicken wings)

1-7…ONE AND FREAKIN’ SEVEN. I have NEVER suffered through such a miserable season, or even come close. The sad part is I thought I had a pretty good chance to win this week, but Red had Davante Adams and a resurgent Larry Fitz go H.A.M. for him on Sunday. Getting a goose egg from your tight end doesn’t help either. This just sucks.

Lost in my other league as well, falling to .500 on the year. DJ didn’t have the breakout game I was hoping for now that he has a competent offensive coordinator calling plays. I also had to stream C.J. Beathard this week with Rivers on a bye. (It’s a two-QB league; the only other option on the wire was Brock Osweiler, so don’t judge.) Also, O.J. Howard and Tarik Cohen, both of whom I somehow picked up just two weeks ago, continue be awesome. This team’s doing OK. At least I got something to still give a shit about.

The 300s “No One Named Eli Has Ever Been Good At Anything” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 7

I’m busy at work and mad at fantasy football so all I have to say is go Sox and enjoy the fantasy takes.

Mattes

Having the second-least amount of points in the league and the most points scored against is just not a good combo. Got an almost 40-berger out of Mitchell Trubisky as a streamer and still lost by almost 80 to the league’s top scorer. At least I have an extra second-rounder next year, and it’s looking like Kerryon Johnson is going to be a stud sixth-round keeper (179 yards of total offense this week). I’m just trying not to finish last at this point.

Had a great week in my other league, but – you guessed it! – I ran into the week’s high-scorer. Got 70 points out of my receivers alone, though, and now that Arizona has someone competent running the offense I’m hoping David Johnson has a little second-half resurgence.  Also, it looks like I’m not going to lose Sony Michel for the year after all, and I was somehow able to snag Tarik Cohen last week, who has three-straight 20-plus point games. I’m 4-3 and feeling good about things to come.

 

Papa G

In a shocking turn of events, I continued my hot streak to go 3-0 again this week. Beat Red by a solid 3 points thanks to Julio Jones. A special thanks to the New York Giants for being a dumpster fire and making this all possible. In one of my other leagues I won by .14 points so luck was on my side this week. Fully expect to nose dive soon enough though.

 

Red

I would like to thank Ezekiel Elliott for murdering any chances I had this week in both of my leagues with a whopping 5 points. How bout them Cowboys indeed. Also, shoutout to Papa Giorgio for beating me by 3 points on garbage time stats in the 4th quarter of Monday Night Football. 

 

Big Z

Picked up a 98-81 win in Week 7 to improve to 4-3 and move into a tie for third place in my league. James White and the New England D/ST came up big for me. Of course it didn’t hurt that my opponent wasn’t up for the London game in time to bench Melvin Gordon who was out.

My only gripe comes from the TE position. I’ve got Eric Ebron and George Kittle. They both seem to be boom or bust, and I’ve yet to figure how to play the right guy any given week. At least it didn’t cost me a win in Week 7, and gets me a little bit closer to the Bench Points Championship

 

Joey B

My team is just awful and I lost by 20 to fall to 3-4. Whatever.

 

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Is Nathan Peterman Elite? Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 6

Welcome back. Let’s first address today’s dedication.

I liked Nathan Peterman coming out of school. Prototypically sized, decent-armed QB from a blue collar school like Pitt. Thought he could be a good spot starter in the NFL, maybe even mold himself into a late blooming starting QB. So far I have been drastically wrong. Not in my evaluation of his talents, no. Take a look at the TD he threw Sunday. Absolute seed. No, the problem with Peterman is he cannot get out of his own way to save his life. If he just “regular sucked”, for lack of better terminology, I think analysts and fans alike would say he has potential. Instead, he throws a stupefying number of pick 6’s. It’s almost a constant at this point. He could go 10-21/200/1 and people would say, “you know what, kid might have something.” But noooope, not Nate, he prefers the 10/21/200/2/4 pick 6’s. Like what the fuck man. JUST STOP IT.

Any way here’s the round up.


Big Z

A play in three acts.

Me with 106 points Sunday at 4.

Me with 111 points and a 17 point lead after Sunday night.

Me after the two-minute warning of the Monday night game when Aaron Rodgers and my undefeated opponent pulled ahead of me for the win.

No bad beats or bad plays this week that will have the league office questioning my competence to run a fantasy football franchise. Just a tough loss to a great team. We’re on to Week 7.

Papa Giorgi

3-0 for the first time since week 1! I’ve never felt more alive. Yeah, my real life QB Josh Allen is dead and the never ending Nathan Peterman experiment rolls on, but at least i’m on my way to making some money. Aaron Rodgers played like an angel last night and I was able to steal the W thanks to a last minute game winning kick by Mason Crosby.

Joey B

Everyone from LA to Boston said Matt Breida wasn’t going to play, so I, much like Mattes and the rest of the “Why The Fuck Did I Pick Jordan Howard” Club, tried to get cute. I took a flier on Alfred Morris for the week. Welp, Breida and some absolute NO NAME played and Morris did not get A. Single. Carry. I got beat. 3-3. I’m not having fun anymore.

Red

So after ripping on Eli Manning all week long for never really being an elite quarterback outside of two hot streaks in years that shant be named, I went against all of my better judgement and started him in fantasy anyways. I was in a bind as my QB was on a bye so it was either Eli, Bortles or Danold. Welp, Eli promptly shit the bed, didn’t throw a touchdown and finished with 11 points. And I STILL WON, mainly because the other guy started the other bum on the waiver wire in Bortles.

Mattes

So, I started Amari Cooper again… I’m now 1-5. I also invested a lot in guys like Jordan Howard, Carlos Hyde, and Keelan Cole. It’s just not working out this year, but at least I traded Antonio Brown for an extra second-round pick next year. This year’s squad is absolute hot garbage, though.

Fortunately, I’m 4-2 in my other league after my opponent started TWO guys who were announced as inactives just before game time. That’s why you always gotta pay attention right up to kickoff, folks. I’ll take the gift, though, and I got both Ingram and Thomas coming back from a bye this week. (Also, how about Sony Michel??!! Kid’s a beasttttt.)

 

The 300s Made Its Debut on National TV Today

Sort of. My man @Jimmy2Lips repping The 300s snapback on live TV this morning making his fantasy picks on the Red Zone Channel.

Go give this man a follow on twitter dot com for his dynamite fantasy picks, but more so for his electric sense of style.

Oh yea and buy a hat from our brand new Etsy shop!

The 300s Bloggers “Earl Thomas Was Right” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 4

O hey there. So we are officially a quarter of the way through the 2018-2019 football season and with that, we are really beginning to see what our fantasy football teams are made of. We are also beginning to see what the waver wire is made of as more and more players go down, forcing owners to try and convince themselves that Senorise Perry is about to have a breakout week. But as we prepare for the return of Julian Edelman, let’s check in with the your favorite amateur typists to see how their fantasy squads did this week.

Joey B

I got fucking washed. Other than the Stafford-Tate connection no one showed up, least of all a certain #87. I even experienced the rare goose egg courtesy of Sammy Watkins last night. Definitely looking forward to rebounding next week when I get Devin Funchess back and slot Cameron Brate (O.J Howard is hurt) in for Gronk.


Red

Finally got a W on the books and it literally took until the final drive of the Monday night game. Demaryius Thomas was really earning his keep as my 5th round pick mustering up 3 points with a little over 2 mins left in the game. Keep in mind that during all this I am down by ONE POINT in my head to head matchup. Less than 2 minutes to go and Patrick Mahomes put the Chiefs ahead so Denver is forced to throw the ball. Thank Christ. With 1:39 to go Case Keenum immediately takes a sack. Good start. I am screaming at my TV at this point. The very next play Keenum completes a 9 yard hitch route to Thomas to nab me the ONE POINT I needed to seal the deal. Fantasy football is legitimately taking years off of my life.

Oh and my TE Tyler Eifert broke his ankle. 


Big Z

I don’t know what’s more remarkable, the points I leave on my bench each week or the fact that I’m still winning in spite of my poor coaching decisions. Either way, I won my Week 4 match up 108-76, and at 3-1 am currently sitting in the 3rd place in my ten-team league. Maybe it’s my “defense.” I’m seventh in points, but have “allowed” the fewest points in the league.

Brandon Cooks and George Kittle really saved my bacon in Week 4 with 24 points each. Russell Wilson was a disappointment with just 7 points, and I’ll finally be giving him the hook in Week 5. Time for some Matty Ice, baby! Oh, and did I mention that my opponent played the Cleveland defense?

Mattes:

S-O-Fucking-S! The Purple Cobras are currently in the midst of their worst season ever, sitting at 1-3 and dead last in the league in points by a cool 30. After getting a combined 11.48 points from Russell Wilson, Jordan Howard, and O.J. Howard, I had absolutely no shot, but my opponent made sure to put up almost 160 on me anway. (OH, and Amari Cooper had another phenomenal game on my bench.) Maybe it’s time for Baker Mayfield to come in and right the ship?

Fell down to .500 in my other league, sitting at 2-2. The week started off blazing hot with Kirk Cousins, but then Michael Thomas also decided to forget how to play football this week. Getting two points out of my FLEX and leaving 17 points on the bench from Sony Michel – the guy who I was originally going to play in my FLEX – didn’t help either, especially when you lose by only seven points. Still right in the thick of it all, though, so I’m not sweating it.

The 300s Bloggers’ Baker Mayfield Invitational Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 3

Dearest Readers,

I hope this column is enjoyable and an easy read, not a Vance McDonald stiff arm to the skull.

Briefly,

-Joey B.

Papa Giorgio

1-2 for me this week. Fournette and Dalvin Cook being hurt sunk one of my teams as I had to field some garbage RBs. Drew Brees was electric for me though. My one piece of fantasy advice is if you ever have anyone on your roster from the NFC South and two of the teams are playing each other that week, start them. Saints/Falcons always seem to end in some ridiculous score and the wilder the finish, the more fantasy points you’re going to get. Also, my real life Bills thrashed the Vikings so even though I didn’t have the greatest fantasy week, Bills Mafia was reborn under Josh Allen.


Joey B

So I lost in week 3 but find solace in the fact that it took Gronk, both RBs, and my defense shitting the bed, changing the sheets, and then shitting the bed again for that to happen. Stafford played well (against the fucking Pats) and Michael Thomas continues to have the same success on the football field that Dave Thomas had in the fast food industry


Red

We’re swimming in a sea of mediocrity folks as I got my first win of the season but split on my two leagues, bringing my season record to an underwhelming 1-5. On a more somber note; a roster spot just opened up on my squad as my dude Jimmy G tore his ACL on Sunday. I may just keep him on my roster out of respect. A fantasy football moratorium if you will.

Big Z

The Big Z Fantasy Empire improved to 2-1 in Week 3, but boy did I have to sweat it out. I didn’t take my first lead of the week until the fourth quarter of the Monday night game when James Conner put me over the top. I only needed 7 points to win, and he took almost 60 minutes to put up the 9 points that gave me a three-point win.

Oh, and did I mention this was all while Matt Ryan was on my bench? Ryan put up 40 points while Russell Wilson got me 15. Instead of having a Toilet Bowl for last place every year, they should just give a trophy of a horse’s ass to the player with the most bench points. I’d be well on my way to that trophy this season.

As much as I hate a fantasy QB controversy, I may have to make the switch this week. I’ll also have to survive Christian McCaffrey’s bye week, so Week 4 looks like a daunting battle already

 

Mattes

Got the double victory this week for the first time in 2018! Although I would NEVER root for my fantasy team over my real-life team, maaaaybe Brady having one of the worst games of his life this week didn’t turn out all that bad for me. Considering Brady was projected to score 20 more points than he did and I beat my opponent by 19, at least there’s a silver lining. I also only had one guy score less than six points, which was Amari Cooper, who could quite possibly be the most frustrating player to own in fantasy right now. The guy should be a stud, but has gone from two points in Week 1 to 16 points in Week 2 then right back down to two this week. Maddening. Carlos Hyde is looking like a fifth-round STEAL for me as well, especially with Baker now running the show in Cleveland. Also, my sneaky ROY candidate, Kerryon Johnson, looks like he’s ready to take over in the Motor City and may be coming off my bench for the first time this week. It was a rough 0-2 start, but things are now looking up for the Purple Cobras.

My other team continued to roll as well, even with Kirk Cousins and Larry Fitzgerald combining for a measly 13 points. Cousins will bounce back, and I am praying to everything holy that Josh Rosen can turn the Cardinals offense around, because I also have an incredibly disappointing David Johnson, whose week was fortunately salvaged with a receiving TD. Michael Thomas and Jarvis Landry are a nasty WR1 and WR2 in a full-point PPR, and somehow I was able to add Matt Breida on waivers last week. He got me 14 points on Sunday and will be a great FLEX option moving forward along with guys like John Brown and Bilal Powell. Catch City Bitch is now 2-1 and feeling good.

The 300s Bloggers’ Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 1

Hey Everybody,

So I am going to start posting this every week. An opportunity for you the reader  to both revel and commiserate with your favorite (Me, maybe Big Z) or least favorite (Bills Fan) 300s blogger. So without further or do……….

Papa Giorgio
(Joey B’s Note: PG’s starting quarterback IRL is Nathan Peterman)

“Two words: Total Domination. Was it easy? No. Did I almost throw up blood when Aaron Rodgers was carted off the field with a knee injury? You betcha! Someone I managed to come out of week one 3-0 in all my leagues combined. As someone who does not take fantasy football too seriously, it was a nice start to what inevitably will be a horrifying, disastrous finish.”

Big Z

“I kept Le’Veon Bell in My keeper league. I picked up James Conner as his handcuff, but played Devonta Freeman instead in Week 1. Figured Pittsburgh had lots of other weapons, and might not lean too heavily on the second year player. Conner outscored Freeman by a cool 28 points, as I lost my Week 1 matchup by 12.”

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Joey B

I had a solid, straightforward week 1 win. I only do one team because I honestly just can’t keep track of more than one. Team-wise, I grabbed Gronk in the first because it’s smart and I picked up/started James Connor because the Steelers have relied heavily on the run since Lincoln still had the back of his head. The only thing grinding my gears a bit is that I lost out on the league high score for the week because rather than having even an underwhelming, sub-average game Matthew Stafford shat the bed completely. Oh well, 1-0.

Now we get to the absolute novels written by Red and MATTES GOOOODDDAMN. Asked these guys for a blurb on their fantasy football week and I got Will Hunting’s thesis on the market economy in the southern colonies.

Red

“Ya know, I was initially pretty upset about accidentally drafting Matt Stafford in the 8th round because time ran out on my pick, but now? Well now I’m fucking furious. Thats what I get for playing chicken with the Yahoo fantasy football draft pick timer.

I won a fantasy league I was in with Donovan McNabb as my QB that I picked up in like the 15th round. It was his last year in Philly and his last year as a productive NFL starter, which was perfect for me. Drafting a QB late has been my template ever since. Welp, not this year.

Sure you could attribute my opening day loss to lack of preparation (I didn’t buy an $11 draft magazine this year) or the fact that I continue to rely on Seahawks running backs not named Marshawn Lynch prior to 2015, but I prefer to point out that Matthew Stafford threw 4 picks in the same week Alvin Kamara dropped 38 points on me.

Here’s to hoping Sam Darnold continues to do just what I had hoped and throw the ball to my sleeper pick, Quincy Enunwa, more than anyone else on the Jets. Quincy had 10 targets last night compared to 11 for the rest of the team combined.

On my bench, of course.

Goddamnit, why do I play this game?”

 

Mattes

“I tell ya, it really sucks to be 0-2 after just one week of football. BOTH sqauds lost this weekend, and neither matchup was close in either league. Even worse is the fact I was expected to be the week’s high-scorer in my full-point PPR league – with guys like Larry Fitz, Michael Thomas, David Johnson, and Jarvis Landy – but only two of those guys actually showed up. There was a few fleeting minutes of hope in my matchup against our very own Papa Giorgio, when Aaron Rodgers looked like he was about to be placed on the shelf for the second straight season. But alas, the legend came back and put up another THIRTY-TWO points to crush my Week 1 dreams. Although, with Amari Cooper putting up two whole points on Monday night, maybe it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. It also didn’t help to have the Saints defense in both leagues, who fell victim to some serious FitzMagic and blew chunks in their home opener. In one league, the got me -4, and the other they got me -8.

So I literally would’ve been better off not even starting a D/ST this week. COOL. I did have one particular Saints player, though, who went absolutely BANANAS, catching 16 balls for 180 yards and a score; his name is Michael Thomas, as previously mentioned, and I’m glad I snagged him for the second year in a row. Jordan Howard and Carlos Hyde look like a decent back pairing in one league, but David Johnson and Alex Collins didn’t live up to expectations in the other. Hopefully Kerryon Johnson, my sneaky pick for Rookie of the Year, takes the job away from a hopefully-washed-up LeGarrette Blount and serves as a solid No. 3 behind Howard and Hyde. And if Rex Burkhead ends up being the Patriots offensive MVP, as I predicted in the Pats preview podcast, I could be OK in my other league, too. Russell Wilson also proved he’s matchup-proof, putting up over 30 against a nasty Broncos D. Philip Rivers and Kirk Cousins look like a solid pairing in my two-QB league as well, so I’m not getting too down after the first week. It can only go up from here…right?”

Top Patriots Fantasy Football Players for 2018

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Not only have we officially reached the most important week of the NFL preseason, but these next two weeks also mark perhaps the most important time of the year as a fantasy football owner. Unless you are a masochist that likes to watch one of your top draft picks blow out a knee in the preseason Week 3 dress rehearsal, or see one of your “sleepers” get the pink slip before final cuts are even made, there is no way you should have had your fantasy draft by now.

If you’re like me, you’ve got your draft scheduled for one of the next two weekends – I’ve actually got one draft on each of the next two Sundays – and if you haven’t been doing your homework by now…well, quite frankly you’re screwed.

There are also plenty of other ways to screw yourself before the season even begins. (For more examples of such, check out Red and Big Z’s “Fantasy Football Follies” podcast from last week.)

But perhaps one of the biggest ways to hurt yourself, other than drafting too early, is being too much of a homer. Look, nobody loves the Pats more than me – which I’m sure you could all tell by now – but you’ll see me donning Jets gear before I even think about drafting any Patriot besides Gronk within the first two or three rounds.

Do NOT be this person:

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Great show. AWFUL approach.

Still, I will admit that, yes, it is fun to have some of your hometown heroes on your squad, and I’m not saying you can’t make that happen. You just have to make sure you do it the right way, and ONLY IF the cards fall in your favor.

So, for all my fellow Pats fans out there, here’s a quick ranking of the team’s top fantasy-relevant players in 2018 and where you should be looking to snag them:

(Side note: Rankings are based upon a 12-team, half-point-PPR scoring system. All average draft positions [“ADP”] are courtesy of FantasyFootballCalculator.com)

Rob Gronkowski, Tight End (ADP: Round 2, Pick 11)

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Gronk is the only Patriots player who can truly give you an unquestioned advantage over your opponents each week, as this guy is in his own tier when it comes to the tight end position. While he has finished with 80-plus catches in just two of his eight seasons in the league, that’s not where his value lies. As everyone knows, Gronk is a touchdown machine, the likes of which the game has never seen at the position (or perhaps any position, for that matter), and compiles receiving yards comparable to some WR1s. Taking away the seasons in which he played less than 14 games, the man has averaged 1,051 yards and almost 12 touchdowns a year. Yes, the guy is definitely an injury risk, but it’s a risk worth taking in order to obtain a stranglehold on a position in which its difficult to find a stud outside of the top three or four players. I’d even consider drafting Gronk in the middle of the second round. So draft away, Pats Nation. Go grab Gronk, and do it early.

Chris Hogan, Wide Receiver (ADP: Round 5, Pick 3)

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With the suspension of Julian Edelman and the departure of Brandin Cooks, Hogan will be Brady’s No. 1 option at the wide receiver position to start the season – and could possibly remain the top wide-out even after Edelman comes back in Week 5. Hogan is easily the team’s best red-zone target outside of Gronk and should see an improvement upon the five scores he had in 2017. People will be quick to point out that he only had 34 receptions last year, which, in a vacuum, looks terrible. But he also only played nine games last year after a freak shoulder injury, and, most importantly, he has MUCH less to compete with this year for targets. Brady is going to need to force-feed Hogan, especially in the early part of 2018, and he could be a fine WR2.

Tom Brady, Quarterback (ADP: Round 5, Pick 3)

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There’s really not much that needs to be said here. Besides Aaron Rodgers, there is no more reliable QB in the game, in both fantasy and real-life. You know that with Brady you’re guaranteed to get at least 30 touchdowns and 4,500 passing yards, at minimum. He’s not going to get you anything on the ground, but honestly who cares? The only thing I’d say is that I am usually not a proponent of drafting a QB until the later rounds, as having a top-flight signal-caller really doesn’t give you as much of an advantage over your opponents as studs at the other skill positions. But you can feel good taking TB12 from the fifth round on.

Rex Burkhead, Running Back (ADP: Round 5, Pick 9)

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For a guy who suffered multiple injuries in 2017 and has missed the past few weeks of practice due to a “slight tear” in his knee, Burkhead has been skyrocketing up draft boards lately. It’s actually not too surprising, as the injury is (supposedly) minor and, according to reports, he could have played against the Eagles last week if it were a regular-season game. Either way, he still looks like the top dog at the position with rookie Sony Michel still sidelined with his own knee issues. The guy also had eight touchdowns in just 10 games last year and really came on strong toward the end of the season. He can handle the rock between the tackles and catch the ball out of the backfield, giving him value in both standard and PPR leagues. An 1,100-plus-total-yard, 10-touchdown season is truly not out of the realm of possibility. In fact, if Burkhead stays healthy all year, I can actually see him returning third- or fourth-round value. I’m a big fan of Sexy Rexy this year.

Sony Michel, Running Back (ADP: Round 6, Pick 10)

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PROCEED WITH CAUTION. I know everyone’s excited about the electric rookie from Georgia after the Pats surprised everyone and took him with the 31st pick in the draft this year, but there is a ton of risk involved here. First and foremost, besides Laurence Maroney, rarely has Belichick ever put much trust in rookie running backs, and even without his long history of knee issues – which date back to high school  – Michel was not going to be the next Ezekiel Elliot. Now the kid hasn’t played in weeks after a small procedure aimed at resolving a “minor” issue with, you guessed it, his knee, has kept him out a little longer than initially reported. While he’s still on track to be ready for the start of the regular season, knee issues don’t just “go away.” If he stays on the field, though, he could be a nice piece. After all, he averaged an absolutely insane 7.9 yards per carry in the SEC last year and scored 17 total touchdowns. But for now, I’m not touching the guy with a 10-foot pole, especially in PPR leagues (64 total receptions in four years at Georgia). I’m obviously hoping for the best, but let someone else in your league reach for him this year.

Julian Edelman, Wide Receiver (ADP: Round 7, Pick 9)

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Since 2013, there has perhaps been no better possession slot receiver in the NFL (besides maybe Jarvis Landry). In terms of targets and overall receptions, Jules has dominated both when it came to Brady’s favorite targets, and it’s not even close. However, Edelman is now 32 years old, missed all of last season with a torn ACL – after already missing almost half the year due to injury in 2015 – and, though he looked OK during last week’s preseason game against the Eagles, he has looked frustrated at times this offseason. Oh, and there’s the fact he’s set to miss the first quarter of the season due to suspension. He’ll most likely become the target-leader once again after he returns in Week 5, but the year-and-some-change layoff from playing with Brady could have an effect. He’s also not going to get you a ton in the way of yards and touchdowns, and he isn’t as valuable in standard leagues. Still, I think Edelman produces enough to be a low-end WR2/high-end WR3 this year, and his current ADP sounds pretty accurate if you’re willing to eat the first four weeks.

James White, Running Back (ADP: Round 13, Pick 2)

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After Edelman, there’s a pretty big drop-off in terms of Patriots fantasy relevance, with my boy James White currently clocking in around the 13th round. White is one of those guys who, while capable of having solid fantasy games, is much more of a real-life asset. He is the team’s unquestioned passing-down back, receiving at least 70 targets and at least 50 catches over each of the past two seasons. Though he could receive a bump in ball-carrying opportunities this year, especially considering both Burkhead’s and Michel’s injury history, he’s not going to get you much between the tackles. He could be a solid RB3/4, depending on your league, but in no instance should he ever be a weekly starter. Basically, it comes down to this with White: If you’re in a half-point PPR, take him here; if you’re in a full-point PPR, I might even take him a few rounds higher; if you’re in a standard league, leave him alone.

Other than that, while there may be some outbreak performances from some of the under-the-radar guys, there really aren’t many other Pats you should be targeting on draft day. Keep an eye out for them on the waiver wire when opportunity strikes, but for now I wouldn’t touch them.

Best of luck to all my fellow fantasy nerds over the next few weeks – unless you’re in one of my leagues, of course – and be sure to let us know how you like my rankings in the comments below.

The 300s Podcast: Fantasy Football Follies

Football is back, thank christ. So this week, as summer is winding down, we turn our attention to the biggest productivity killer in corporate America; fantasy football.

-Flatscreen TVs are now disposable apparently

-Since I can’t play poker, Fantasy Football allows me to feel like a man and gamble

-Is DraftKings too much math and not enough fantasy?

-Hot Take: Live Drafts SUCK

Subscribe, rate, and review The 300s Podcast on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify!

Cowboys Receiver Cole Beasley Just Ethered Some Fantasy Football Nerd

You come at the king, you best not miss. Cole Beasley just put this fantasy football owner in a goddamn body bag.

You just heard two sounds. One was Cole hitting Enter on his keyboard, the other was this kid hitting the ground. You have to love the utterly absurd phrase of “Don’t mother fuck me bro.” I’m gonna have to start working that into conversations from now on. If you’re gonna shit talk Cole Beasley about his fantasy football production then be prepared to face the repercussions.

Don’t worry Cole, I got you.