Tag: Jets

Mark Sanchez Retires from the NFL. Never Forget the Butt Fumble.

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NY Post – Quarterback Mark Sanchez is putting away his helmet and heading to ABC/ESPN to be a college football analyst, The Post has learned.

Sources tell The Post the former Jets quarterback’s main job will be in ABC’s lead college football studio, where he will join Kevin Negandhi and Jon Vilma. Sanchez is replacing Mack Brown, who left to coach North Carolina.

The Catch. The Immaculate Reception. The Butt Fumble. There are certain plays in NFL history where you just say two or three words and everyone knows exactly what you’re talking about and where they were when it happened. Luckily for me I was a part of NFL lore because I actually attended The Butt Fumble game at the Meadowlands. I saw that glorious play on Thanksgiving night 2012 with a bunch of my buddies. Since it was Thanksgiving we had been eating and drinking for about 8 hours leading up to the game so saying I *saw* the play is technically accurate even if it didn’t fully register up in the 300s section.

I do however vividly remember the stadium announcers not even addressing what had just happened and just moving along like it was business as usual. Thank god for high def cameras though so this incredible performance could live on in the football archives forever.

Oh and Lenny Kravitz played the halftime show that game. What a night.

Anyways, shout out to Mark “the Sanchize” Sanchez for a head scratching yet decent career. He led the Jets to BACK TO BACK AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME APPEARANCES as we would hear for years and years despite not winning any of them. He was a solid if unspectacular quarterback, but if you remember it was a shock the Jets traded all the way up to No. 5 to draft him. Especially after his coach at USC and current Seahawks coach Pete Carroll was a pretty big asshole when asked about his assessment of Sanchez turning pro.

Looking back he was probably right as Sanchez was the the full time starter at USC for only one season before skipping his senior year to go pro and immediately being crowned the savior in New York and starting as a rookie.

He’ll forever be linked to Rex Ryan as the two spearheaded the most successful era of Jets football since the Bill Parcells days. That was a fun time to be a Patriots or a Jets fan because both teams were very good and the Jets loved to talk so it led to some heated rivalries. Theres still players from those late 2000s Jets teams that I despise like Bart Scott.

Can’t Wait til your radio show gets cancelled.

So Sanchez may have only thrown 20+ touchdowns once in a season and may have thrown three interceptions in a 45-3 blowout to the Patriots on Monday Night Football, but he seemed like a genuinely likable guy. Sure he had some weird photoshoots

but who hasn’t?

I don’t know if I’ve ever identified with a pro athlete more than the time Sanchez got busted sneaky crushing a hotdog on the bench.

I respect that move.

Well, Sanchez is off to ESPN where I think he will actually be a great football personality. A good looking dude with some charisma and legitimate NFL playing experience? Sanchez and fellow USC alum Matt Leinart will be the deadliest duo on the LA circuit since the days of Leo Dicaprio and Tobey Maguire.

With Ryan Fitzpatrick Joining His Third AFC East Team, I Have Found the Perfect Group Halloween Costume

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I remember seeing this idea a few years back when Jaromir Jagr was playing for the Bruins en route to finishing his NHL career having played for 9 teams over 24 years.

Well I would say we’ve officially reached that point with Ryan Fitzpatrick. Everyone’s favorite gigantic bearded, wedding ring wearing, smart as hell, bridge quarterback will join his 8th NFL team in Miami this season. It also will mark him playing for 3/4ths of the AFC East. So who knows, maybe if he kicks around for a couple of more years he could complete the rounds and be a veteran backup QB to the next great Patriots signal caller? We can only hope.

So if 7 of my other friends want to create the greatest Halloween costume of the season, the Ryan Fitzpatrick group costume is the way to go boys.

The Patriots Appear to Possibly Be Committing a Cardinal Sin of Football and I’m Terrified

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So I’m about to nerd out about football pretty hard. If you’ve come for a dose of the rants of a mad man, that is coming much later on in this blog and I’m not sure you’ll make it. Some of this, or most of it, is going to get pretty dry. So you’ve been warned.

Free agency, or at least the most major moves, have come and gone, probably. As expected, the Pats made a couple small quiet moves that will help incrementally (Blogger’s Note: Mike Pennel is a bigger get than it seems. He is a hugely talented player who just can’t stay off the pot. Was a surprise cut by the Jets). They also, just as predictably, let a number of key contributors from last year walk (Trey Flowers, Malcolm Brown) or keep walking (Chris Hogan, Danny Shelton) as the Pats weren’t or aren’t willing to pay them what they saw or see as their worth. Such is life for a Pats fan, watching players come and go that to an untrained eye (SEE: rest of the NFL fanbases) seem indispensable or at least good enough to retain. But we make do with what we have, playing as a team.

On a semi-related note I’ll tie in later, the Patriots made the peculiar move of bringing in notable “defensive mind” Greg Schiano to be a member of the staff this season. Red wrote about why this is kind of odd earlier this year. Most notable is the fact that no one really likes Greg Schiano. He’s what you may refer to as an ass hat. He also hasn’t been terribly successful ever since he used his bringing the Rutgers program out of the basement in the late-00’s-ish as a launching pad for his pro coaching career. Anyway, a hiring of this kind in general just seems like an odd fit and overkill for the Pats. At this point, why don’t you just allow Belichick and another Flores-esque high ranking assistant to run the defensive side of the ball? I mean there’s a reason I’m not in the New England front office but as an outsider from  a high-level this doesn’t make a ton of sense. Basically, when you have a great defensive mind like Belichick in-house why bring in a guy with so many of his own…ideas?

And this is where I start to get scared. And where things get reallly dry for a second. (Skip if you are a football diehard)

I’ll make it quick and as painless as possible, but basically defenses in football have what one refers to as “schemes”, also known as “base formations”. To dumb it down, if someone who had never seen football before walked onto an NFL (or college, high school, w.e) practice field and a coach wanted to show them what the defense NORMALLY should look like, this is the position he would line them up in. These schemes are predicated upon the front-7, aka the linebackers and defensive lineman.

What kind of scheme you run pretty much defines the shape and look of those players. For instance, since outside linebackers (OLBs) in a 3-4 (3 down lineman, 4 linebackers – one of the more common schemes) basically serve as defensive ends on a significant number of plays, they have a size-range similar to a DE, say 6’2-6’4 and 250-265lbs. On the other hand, since the pass rush is covered by the DEs in a 4-3 (4 down lineman, 3 linebackers – the other more common scheme) the outside linebackers are a bit smaller and are used for chasing down ball carriers, making tackles, and covering tight ends and sometimes running backs. They go, say 6’0-6’3 and 230-240lbs (some teams recently, in this pass-happy NFL, have been experimenting with converting college safeties, like Mark Barron (6’1 214lbs), into linebackers with varying degrees of success. There’s just not as much need for the size anymore as there is not as much power running).

We used a mess of defenses last year, but mostly some sort of 4-2 alignment. This is basically the same concept as the 4-3 except since the league is passing so much, we skewed the third linebacker in exchange for an additional defensive back to cover someone. Sometimes this was Duron Harmon. Sometimes Jonathan Jones. Sometimes even J.C Jackson. The bottom line, and what I’m trying to get at now, is that there was always someone there to step up. Someone to slot in easily, although not always successfully. And you know what? Throw all the fucking stats you want at me (NEEEEERDS) but we won a Super Bowl while holding one of the most prolific offenses ever to 3 points. So I’d say our D was just fine.

This is what I’ve been leading up to. This is why I’m worried.

One of the CARDINAL sins of football is to try and change your roster/scheme to fit your coach, not the other way around. More accurately, you should never allow a new coach to twist and tweak your roster to fit his purposes. If you have the pieces, consistency, and hell, success in place then keep it. Tell any new coach that this is what he has to work with. To that end, maybe that is why the Pats have been so successful the last couple of decades. Ultimate flexibility. I remember when Belichick started bringing in 4-3 type players when he was known as a 3-4 coach people lost their goddam minds. “But but but he doesn’t fit!” Well ya dummy Coach just switched the defense up, no biggie. Sure he probably prefers the3-4, but he’s not married to it. The conclusion/thesis is a mixture of “if it’s not broke don’t fix it” and “work with the scraps you were given.” (2pac).

Belichick one in a million though. Especially when it comes to coaching philosophy.

Greg Schiano, and no I did not do research for this blog, I read up on this when we signed him, loves his defense. Fucking loves it. He runs a weird one, almost a 3-4 masquerading as a 4-3. I say this because his line is basically three DTs and one DE, much like how a 3-4 uses three jumbo lineman, in different proportions.

So were we ever giving Trey Flowers all the money he got? Nope, sure weren’t. Were we going to hold hostages to get Malcolm Brown back? Probably not after a down year. But could we suspect there may be reasons for letting two of our primary lineman go beyond cash? I think it’s fair. And that’s terrifying.

Because although it could be debated up and down whether or not Brown ever became “that guy” he was projected to be a truly Belichickian DT – big and stout against the run (6’2 320lb) but still able to put just a little pressure on the QB when needed. A swiss army knife,if you will. Probably 70/30 towards the run. Flowers is really a 50/50 guy (6’2 265lb, plays a lot bigger) – he plays the run really well but also excels in pressuring the QB. Sure he still hasn’t passed 6.5 sacks, but he is ALWAYS in opposing backfields. You know whose system doesn’t really seem to favor swiss army knife DTs? Probably Greg Schiano, as he has three of them and he probably wants them each to do different things. You know whose system probably doesn’t want a 6.5 sack run defender? Again probably Schiano.

So were we really saving money or were we truly cashing out? Is there a reason we re-signed John Simon to rush the passer and Pennel to clog running lanes? Is Belichick really going to let Schiano do the one. Thing. That. Never. Works and reconstruct the look of the Pats D to fit his scheme’s/ego’s needs? Fuck me if that is the case.

I’m all out of steam and out of love. Tell me I’m wrong in the comments or on twitter @300sjoeyb.

-Joey B

The AAF Apparently Needed a $250M Investment Just to Make Payroll in Week TWO

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Yahoo – For all the good publicity the Alliance of American Football received early on, it’s still a startup business. Like plenty of other startup businesses, the AAF might have been underfunded to start. The Athletic’s David Glenn, citing multiple sources, reported that the league was in danger of not making payroll last week, just the second week of the league’s existence.

The crisis was averted. Glenn wrote that Carolina Hurricanes majority owner Tom Dundon will be introduced as the AAF’s new chairman after investing $250 million to the AAF. The NHL owner’s investment allowed the league to meet its financial obligations...

“Without a new, nine-figure investor, nobody is sure what would have happened,” one source told Glenn at The Athletic. “You can always tell people their checks are going to be a little late, but how many are going to show up on the weekend for games when they don’t see anything hit their bank accounts on Friday?”

Isn’t this the first thing they teach you in business school? How to fund your business and keep the doors open? Thats like Day 1 stuff.

Look I am all for capitalism and people trying to make money and I really want the AAF to succeed, but without any big names like Tim Tebow playing, the only chance this league ever has of making it is if the NFL acquires it. The NFL would have to decide after over a decade of having no minor leagues (RIP NFL Europe) that they want to buy the AAF as a talent pipeline.

But I also find it hilarious that they’re almost going out of business in Week TWO after the peacocking about beating a regular season NBA game in the ratings on a random Saturday night and after Mattes faced the wrath of AAF Reddit (yes its a thing) for saying he wasn’t watching.

 

It’s a decent concept, but not exactly anything groundbreaking. I’d be curious to see the market specific TV ratings as it compares to competitors’ programming in the same time slots. Because not to sound like a complete arrogant dickhead, but we watch the New England Patriots up here. They have the greatest quarterback and the greatest coach of all time. So I’m not exactly fighting over the remote to watch Christian Hackenberg throwing ducks for 2 hours.

My point being, the smartest thing the AAF did was put these teams in cities where there isn’t established NFL competition. I know they’ve said they’re not competing with the NFL; they’re complimenting it. But even if they’re not competing with the NFL directly, they’re still competing for the attention of the NFL fan, which is why I’d be curious to see the TV ratings in those non-traditional football markets. Markets that are starved for the sport. It’d be like putting a Big 3 League residency in Seattle. There’s an appetite for it.

So while I wish the AAF all the best, aside from watching a few minutes of a game at the bar, this whole story doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. Not to mention they got Vince McMahon licking his chops with the XFL closer to kicking off every single day.

Bruins Rookie Trent Frederic’s Father is a Confirmed #HockeyDad After Son Brawls in NHL Debut

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Bruins rookie Trent Frederic made his NHL debut Tuesday night and he wasted little time trying to make an impression, dropping the gloves towards the end of the second period. Frederic went all Happy Gilmore on Brandon Tanev’s face and wouldn’t ya know the rook’s parents were in the stands. How did Dad deal with seeing his baby boy fist fighting a grown ass man in the NHL? LOVED. IT.

That is a #HockeyDad through and through. Doesn’t matter how many goals you score or how much tape you hit, if I’m waking up at 4 am to drive you to practice, you are going to defend the honor of our house.

Full fight below.

Arizona Cardinals Are Reportedly Hiring Kliff Kingsbury to be the Most Handsome Head Coach in the NFL

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Watch out for the Cardinals because they just dipped into the Handsome Men’s Club for their next head coach. The rest of the league has been put on notice. I was legitimately worried the Jets were going to hire Kliff and the Patriots were going to be tasked with defeating the handsomeness for years to come. I can breathe a sigh of relief now.

In all seriousness though I am intrigued as all hell to see what Kliff Kingsbury brings to the table as an NFL head coach. Granted he just got axed by Texas Tech a couple months back, the guy has worked with and developed Baker Mayfield, Patrick Mahomes, Johnny Manziel, and Case Keenum over the past 6 years. Pretty impressive lineup of guys under center. So for a league that is obsessed with finding the next young offensive guru, quarterback whisperer or whatever cliche you want to use, Kingsbury was bound to land a job somewhere in the NFL this year.

Now lets see what ya got, Kliff.

Joey B’s Wednesday Morning Grab Bag

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This is sort of kind of the “Monday” of this week since a lot of people had Monday off and unless you work for commies, yesterday off was a given.

That said let’s grab bag it up a bit ya?

-In case you missed it, Amanda Nunes defied odds, physics, and whatever lab that went into creating Cris Cyroid’s bloodstream when she not only knocked out, but ran over the long-time Women’s Featherweight #1/UFC Champion. It was an absolute beat-down that no one saw coming. I love Amanda Nunes and was afraid to even watch. Tsk tsk to me.

-Jon Jones won as well. I personally am over the DC-Jones rivalry so I hope Jones fights a few contenders at 205 and DC fights Stipe and then Brock and calls it a career. There is just nothing to learn from a third match up between the longtime rivals.

-I know beating the Jets isn’t exactly a giant deal, but lest the rest of the NFL not understand that really what happened was the Jets continued to let the Pats get hot. Brady looked better than he has in weeks. Our backs got going. We were winning in the trenches on both sides of the ball and on the D side, getting great pressure. Stephon Gilmore looks unbeatable at this point. I’m not saying the Pats are going to get far, but they are heading into the playoffs on a roll and fairly healthy, with two weeks to heal up on top of that.

-I haven’t watched “Bird Box” or the “Black Mirror” movie and I don’t intend to. I know it seems like typical Joey B cynicism, but really I just don’t enjoy the “mind bending” stuff all that much. Just tell me a good story. Plus, I heard “Bird Box” is just a rip off of “A Quiet Place” plus a couple more recent thriller/horror movies.

-July 4, 2019 has been announced the release date for S3 of “Stranger Things”. As much as I am a gigantic fan of that show I wish they’d either release it more consistently or end it. It is just getting more annoying than anything else to have these long delays.

-Current ‘flix recommendations: “Frontier”, “Bodyguard”, “The Five”, “Redemption”. Currently watching “Bad Blood” and jury is out. Slow but ok mob story about real gangsters in Montreal.

-I’m going to start a weekly/bi-weekly blog on solid twitter account follows from the knowledgeable to the bizarre (mostly bizarre). Feel free to hit me @300sJoeyB with suggestions.

Jets Gonna Jet; Lose Tight End for the Year After He Drops a Weight on His Foot

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Yahoo – The New York Jets placed tight end Eric Tomlinson on injured reserve Thursday with one game left to play in the season. The move appeared to be the sort of end-of-season housecleaning that many non-contending teams use to fill out their active roster for the final game of the season, but then, well, we found out how Tomlinson got injured.

Tomlinson received his season-ending injury by dropping a weight on his foot in the weight room and lacerating two toes, according to ESPN’s Rich Cimini. The injury was reportedly serious enough to require surgery..the Jets are currently on pace to finish last in the AFC East for a third straight season and endure even more time as the team everyone loves to dump on.

I’m not gonna play around like this can’t happen to anyone because my roommate freshman year of college did the same exact thing. Went to slide the 45 pound plate (NBD) off the bar, but didn’t realize there was a 10 pound weight in front of it. Slid 10 lbs of  pain right off the bar onto his toe. SNAP. Kid was in a boot for quite a while. But that was my 18-year-old roommate, not a professional athlete paid in part to lift weights and work out. Sucks to see because that shit must HURT, but man if this isn’t another Jets debacle in a long line of Jets debacles then I don’t know what is.

Now just don’t lose on Sunday boys or it’ll make this snarky blog look much worse in hindsight.

Go lock up that No. 2 seed!

Patriots Jets Week 17 Preview, Odds, and Storylines

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Image result for patriots jets

The last game of the regular season has arrived. And, for the first time in a while, this one matters A LOT.

By this point, the Pats usually have a bye locked up, but depending on what happens on Sunday they could finish anywhere from the No. 1 to the No. 4 seed in the AFC this season. Therefore, they could either have: guaranteed home-field advantage throughout the playoffs; guaranteed home-field advantage for some of the playoffs; or only get to play at home just once (not to mention the fact that the last scenario would mean they would need to play a whole extra game as well).

(CBS Sports lays out all the playoff scenarios here for all you super nerds like me.)

But what it all comes down to for the Pats is this:

As long as they win, they are guaranteed to have at least one of the byes; if they lose, it’s going to be near impossible for that to happen.

Fortunately, we’re going up against a terrible New York Jets squad – who we already beat just a few weeks ago – and this time, it’s at home. Before we hop into the preview, though, here’s a look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:

  • Location: Gillette Stadium (Foxborough, MA)
  • Kickoff: Sunday, Dec. 30, 1 p.m. ET
  • TV: CBS
  • Odds (via Odds Shark): Patriots: -13.5 (spread) / Patriots: -730 (moneyline) / 44.5 (total)

The Jets (4-11) are really bad. I know I’ve called plenty of other teams bad throughout many of my previews this year, but I really mean it this time. The Jets have won just once since the middle of October and have given up an average of 29 points per game over that same period. They are also tied for the second-worst record in the league with Oakland and San Francisco.

Image result for jets suck meme

Rather than continue to throw a bunch of random stats at you or talk about Jets players to watch out for (are there even any?), I’m going to do it a bit differently this time around and simply focus on a few key things I’ll be keeping an eye on from Brady and the boys on Sunday.

(Can the Offense Keep it Going?): A lot of people were shocked to see the Pats put up almost 400 yards of offense against Buffalo, the league’s No. 2 defense, last week. Much of this had to do with an insane 273-yard rushing output, as the passing offense mustered up a pathetic total of 117. Ironically, this was after two games in which the ground game struggled, failing to crack 100 yards in Weeks 15 and 16, while the passing offense averaged 308 yards. My point is there is just ZERO consistency in this offense right now besides Julian Edelman, and that’s tough to maintain heading into postseason play. Is Cordarrelle Patterson healthy and will he remain the X-factor like he was last week? Has Sony Michel rediscovered his early-season success, and is he now ready to shoulder the team throughout January? I have no idea, but it’d be nice to see some sort of sense of direction from Brady & Co. by the end of the weekend.

Image result for sony michel

All right, kid, it’s time to earn that first-round money!

(How Injured is Brady?): Everyone knows by now that Brady and the team have not been very forthcoming regarding his injured knee. The team’s always been very secretive in that respect, but I feel like they’re really hiding something this time around. At times over the past few weeks, it has looked like Brady’s been operating purely off of sheer adrenaline and determination, but he’s no longer listed on the injury report and he insists he’s not hurt. Really, Tommy? Prove that to me this Sunday.

(Can the Secondary/Pass-Coverage Finish Strong?): Again, it’s really hard to pick out a “strength” for the Jets, but if it’s anywhere it’s probably in the passing game. Robby Anderson has averaged 104 receiving yards over the past three games, with a touchdown in each contest, as the young wide receiver is having a bit of a late-season resurgence. Chris Herndon has also sneakily been one of the game’s most consistent tight ends this season, and he put up a solid seven catches for 57 yards against the Pats when they played in November. (He also had six for 82 with a score last week against Green Bay.) Fortunately, rookie quarterback Sam Darnold will also be playing his first-ever game in Foxborough, and the Pats should handle whatever he throws at them. (Although Darnold has been excellent lately, with six touchdowns and one pick over his last three games.) Hey, I had to give the Jets something, right?

Image result for chris herndon

The Jets might actually have a nice, young piece in Herndon.

(Will the Boys Behave?): I touched upon this already in my postgame notes from Monday, but the Pats have been called for an average of over eight penalties a game throughout the past five contests. Yes, that number is significantly bumped by a crazy 14 penalties against the Steelers two weeks ago. But, even when removing that game entirely, the Pats have still been responsible for almost six flags a game. That’s not good at any point in the year, but that type of stuff will sink anyone – and quickly – during postseason play.

Prediction

The Pats will absolutely wallop the Jets. I have no doubt in my mind about it. With a bye on the line and playing against one of the dregs of the league, there’s just no way that we lose this one. And it won’t even be close. Kansas City will beat Oakland as well, and the Pats will head into the postseason as the No. 2 seed.

The 300s 2018 Fantasy Football All Cock Tease Team

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Welcome, welcome to our awards. Before we begin I’m going to briefly kick it to our team on tonight’s red carpet…

Thank Joey! Here we see Founder Red wearing a Lakers jersey with camo cargo shorts. I’m really digging his ironic choice that is clearly a protest to our recent cooperation with North Korea. Back to the studio…

Thanks guys! Now before we proceed I should probably explain what these awards actually are about since nobody fucking knows.

We have all picked a bust or 12 throughout our fantasy football seasons, however most are of either the “reach” or “hard on” variety. A “reach”, as is well known, is a player you pick a bit too high, possibly motivated by the fear of someone else picking him. A “hard on” pick, for lack of a more enlightened term, would refer to players that we just personally really like without a ton evidence as to why and that simply don’t work out.

These awards, however, celebrate the “cock teases” – players who are picked at a good time given their value, normally put up good numbers relative to that selection point, yet completely fuck us. They don’t buy us dinner first either, just bend us over the analogous  10, 12, or 16 team table and fuck us.

So without further ado, as composed by and contributed to by our talented staff, I give you The 300s 2018 All Cock Tease Team:

QB: Jimmy Garoppolo, San Francisco 49ers
Red: I was ready for Jimmy G to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes that was my 2017 fantasy season, but in his third game the most handsome ACL in the league exploded and I was stuck with Matt Stafford at QB the rest of the way.

 

RB1: Jordan Howard, Chicago Bears
Mattes: Now, a lot of people might give me crap for drafting Howard in the second round of a PPR draft. First, I’d like to respond by saying it’s only a half-point league, and, second, the guy also had two-straight 1,200-plus-yard seasons and nine touchdowns last year on a bad team. I – like many – expected the Bears to be much-improved this year (which they certainly are), and I also believed new head coach Matt Nagy when he said he’d finally get Howard more involved in the passing game. Then came along Tarik Cohen, and there were also five games this year in which Howard averaged under 2.6 yards a carry. In fact, Cohen actually ended up finishing over FOURTY spots ahead of Howard in the overall rankings this year. Picked the wrong guy, I guess, huh?

 


RB2: Le’veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers
GUEST CONTRIBUTION! Patty Blackouts: I mean what is there to say besides he’s a seflish fuck who passed up 850k a week to sit out and try and protect his body to try and get a long term deal. Took him 4th overall thinking he’d show up sometime around end of September or October and nope just sat out all season sending cryptic tweets so you’d think he was going to report and next ya know he’s playing pickup basketball games at the local Y. I hope no one pays him what he wants and he regrets passing up the 14.5 mill he would have been paid this season by signing the franchise tag. But yes I’m bitter because  I used my first overall pick on him in fantasy got the same amount of points out of him as he did paychecks this season….0!

I hope he gets hurt in the next preseason.

Douchebag.

WR1: Quincy Enunwa, Goddam Jets
Red: No one, and I mean no one in my fantasy league watches more Jets games than me as the Mrs. is a huge fan. So watching a team that bad I was determined to derive some value out of it, which is exactly what Quincy Enunwa was going to do for me. Enunwa was going to be the steal of the draft as he put up 15, 12 and 10 points in 3 of the first 4 games, but then his season was derailed by various injuries. He cracked 6 points just once after September…

 

WR2: Golden Tate, Detroit Lions/Philadelphia Eagles
Joey B: Tate started the season as Matthew Stafford’s #1 option in what is normally a high flying Detroit offense. To that end, he kicked off the season with games of  17, 15, 10 and TWENTY FUCKING NINE. After that he completely shit the bed, probably became an asshole in the locker room because he realized his name is fucking Golden, and then got traded to Philly where he had one game of 20, coincidentally the only other time he’s seen the end zone since September, and seemingly is hated by all 12 of Philly’s playoff-ready QBs.

 

TE: Gronk
Joey B: I always pick Gronk wayyyy too high because he plays a position where all of 4-5 guys give you tremendous amounts of points and even among those guys he usually stands out. But this year, as the world knows, was different. He’s just broken and I’m just sad.

 

Flex1: Jarvis Landry, Cleveland Browns
Mattes: Landry wasn’t without a few big games of his own this year. Also like Cousins, Landry was a guy whom I expected to make a huge splash with a new team this season, but instead was super inconsistent. Yes, he had to deal with learning how to play with two different QBs this year, but remember that Baker Mayfield has been playing since Week 3. In the 13 games he’s played with Mayfield, Landry has put up single-digit totals in seven of them. For a guy who averaged 99 catches per season before this year, his mark of 72 through 16 games this year is incredibly disappointing.

 

Flex2: Chris Hogan, New England Patriots
Big Z: With Brandin Cooks in LA and Julian Edelman sidelined for the first four games of the season, I was certain Chris Hogan was a steal in the fifth round. He would be one of Tom Brady’s top targets the first month of the season, and hopefully stay in the mix even after Edelman returned.

Hogan scored two touchdowns in Week 2, but he wouldn’t find the end zone again for three months. By that time I had already dropped him and moved on. Just another cautionary tale of putting too much stock in to a Patriots WR/RB for fantasy football purposes.

 

D/ST: San Diego Los Angeles Chargers
Joey B: With Joey Bosa and company up front and some decent pieces in the secondary, I thought the “pressure creates turnovers” rule would get me some points on D. Instead Bosa got hurt and the Chargers are last in return yards allowed.

 

Kicker: Dan Bailey, Minnesota Vikings
Big Z: Drafting and picking up kickers in fantasy football is a bit of a crap shoot. You just try to pick up a guy who kicks for a team with a good, but not great, offense. If he plays in warm weather or a dome, even better. That’s why I love NFC South kickers and why I will never draft the Bills kicker.

Dan Bailey had a rough 2017 and got released by Dallas. But he was at one time the most accurate kicker in NFL history. When he got picked up by Minnesota, I thought he would be a good guy to take a flier on. Accurate kicker on a good, not great, team that plays its home games in a dome.

Bailey is 20/27 on field goals for the Vikes this year and his 2018 may be worse than his 2017. Yikes. God help the Vikings special teams coach

 

*BONUS: Mid-Season Pick Up Fist Fucker of the Year*

WR: Marquez Valdes-Scantling, Green Bay Packers

Red: MVS was one of the few guys I was first to the punch on in my league and he looked like a STUD. 6’4″ with 4.3 speed and Aaron Rodgers throwing him the ball? Yes please. After a quiet start to the season MVS blew onto the scene with a 4 week stretch of 13+ points. He would post 6+ points just once the rest of the way…