Tag: Jets

I Very Much Would Like to Hang Out With Mark Sanchez

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For as much as we poke fun at Mark Sanchez here because he used to be the de facto leader of the Jets, he does seem like a genuinely good dude. Imagine if someone asked Peyton Manning this question? He would have had his father’s goons beat the shit out of the guy’s legs before he left the room.

But Sanchez handled that like a buddy was just busting his balls and laughed it off. Life’s too short guys, be more like Mark Sanchez.

Patriots/Jets Postgame Thoughts and Week 13 Pats/Vikings Preview, Odds, & Storylines

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Image result for sony michel

With just five weeks left in the NFL season, the Pats (8-3) currently sit as the AFC’s No. 2 seed, just behind the Chiefs (9-2) and barely ahead of the Steelers (7-3-1) and Texans (8-3), the last of which the Pats beat in Week 1 and therefore hold the tiebreaker.

Though it’s tough to call any win over the Jets “impressive,” Brady & the boys – actually, Sony Michel stole the show – were firing on all cylinders on Sunday. Their 498 total yards of offense were the team’s second-most on the year so far; they did post 500 total yards against the Chiefs in Week 6, but they’ve only averaged just over 370 yards per game since that time – which could have a lot to do with a missing or less-than-100-percent Sony Michel from Weeks 8-10.

Here’s a few of my takeaways from this past weekend’s victory in the Meadowlands:

  • Obviously, the biggest takeaway from Sunday’s game was the play of our stud rookie running back. Sony Michel‘s 145 total yards and a score on 23 touches were outstanding enough, but the fact that he was able to do all that while playing less than 45 percent of the snaps is all the more impressive. He may be the best pure runner the Pats have had since Corey Dillon, and there’s no doubt the entire offense, Brady included, plays much better when he’s on the field.
  • Gronk was also back this week after not playing since Week 8 in Buffalo. He did receive eight targets and hauled in a pretty tough ball for a deep score, but to have just three catches in total for 56 yards while playing on 99 percent of the snaps is nothing to write home about. Look, I’d rather have him on the field than not, but as I said last week the days of his pure and utter dominance on the field are likely a thing of the past.
Image result for rob gronkowski jets

Gronk was finally back in action with a score on Sunday.

  • Trey Flowers and Deatrich Wise continue to wreak havoc on opponents, as each recorded a sack of Josh McCown. They are quickly becoming two of the best bookends in the league.

So how about this week’s matchup? Well, the Pats are set to square off at home against a 6-4-1 Vikings squad who just beat Aaron Rodgers and the Packers on Sunday night. While they haven’t been quite as strong as many expected this year, there’s no doubt they’re still one of the top teams in the NFC, if not the entire NFL.

As always, here’s a look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:

  • Location: Gillette Stadium (Foxborough, MA)
  • Kickoff: Sunday, Dec. 2, 4:25 p.m. ET
  • TV: FOX
  • Odds (via Odds Shark): Patriots: -5.5 (spread) / Patriots: -245 (moneyline) / 48.5 (total)

I’ve heard many people out there say that the success of the Vikings has lived and died by the play of Kirk Cousins this year, but I don’t necessarily agree. After signing a record NFL deal with Minnesota this offseason, Cousins has been solid but unspectacular in his first year. His overall stat line looks pretty great – 101.9 QB rating; 3,289 passing yards; 22 TDs; 7 INTs – but he’s also laid a few clunkers in which he passed for under 230 yards this season. The irony is, though, all three of those games were victories for the Vikings, as Cousins is still supported by a pretty damn good defense.

Image result for kirk cousins

Captain Kirk is still one of the game’s best passers, no matter how you spin it.

The Viking’s D is a top-five unit against both the run and the pass, and they currently sit third in total yards allowed per game. The team is literally LOADED on every level of their defense; from 11.5-sack stud defensive end Danielle Hunter to tackle monsters like Eric Kendricks and Anthony Barr to elite secondary players like Xavier Rhodes and Harrison Smith, this may be the best defense the Pats have faced all season – besides maybe a pre-collapse Jaguars team in Week 2. Taking away the 556 yards they gave up to the Rams in Week 4, the Vikings would be No. 1 in the league in yards allowed per game.

Image result for minnesota vikings defense

The “Purple People Eaters” are back in Minnesota, folks.

Therefore, it’s not going to be an easy one for the Pats offense, even at home. And it’s not like they can just sit back and hope for a grind-it-out type of battle either; Minnesota still has a top-15 offense, which is only being dragged down by an underperforming running game. As mentioned above, Cousins is still having a great year and has studs like Adam Thielen and Stefon Diggs – both of whom have combined for 172 catches, 1,996 total yards, and 14 scores through just 11 games (!!!) so far – helping him run the league’s seventh-best passing offense.

But, again, if there is any saving grace for the Pats it’s the Vikings running game. With the secondary being one of the Pats strength’s, hopefully they can slow down Minnesota’s air attack just enough to force them to rely a bit more on the ground. Though I do think the Pats can hold up against the run, Dalvin Cook does have the ability to torch our pass-coverage-inept linebacking corps, as he’s put up over 40 receiving yards per contest in games in which he’s received at least four targets. But again, as long as the Pats can force Minnesota to run a bit more than they’d like to, they could be OK.

(THURSDAY AFTERNOON UPDATE: Xavier Rhodes missed his second straight practice on Thursday with a hamstring injury, which he injured on Sunday. At first it was thought to be serious, then it wasn’t, and now it might be again. It’s looking less and less likely that he’ll play, which would be wonderful news for the Pats offense. Stefon Diggs also missed his second straight practice, so the Vikes could be without one of their top weapons on both sides of the ball on Sunday.)

Storylines

(How Will Burkhead Be Used?): The Pats officially activated Rex Burkhead off I.R. on Monday, and he’s expected to be mixed in with Michel and James White in the backfield starting this week – but just how much? With both Michel and White playing so well and forming a lethal 1-2 punch this year, is there really any room for Sexy Rexy? Of course, having him as an extra depth piece can only be a good thing, but it’ll be interesting to see how Bill uses him throughout the rest of the year. Again, I predicted this guy to be our friggin’ offensive MVP this year, so he’s no slouch, but I’m honestly unsure if there’s a whole lot of opportunity left for him at this point. Stay tuned.

Image result for rex burkhead

No idea how we’re gonna use ya, but welcome back, bud!

(A Shuffling of the Line): While players like Lawrence Guy and Malcolm Brown have seen relatively consistent usage this season, there has been one particular riser AND faller, respectively, at the D-tackle spot over the past few weeks, both of whom are worth noting. Adam Butler, a second year man out of Vandy, has really come on strong over the past few weeks, playing over 50 percent of the snaps in two of the past three games. His strong play continued on Sunday, as he almost sniped an interception on a tipped pass and recorded a QB hit. Danny Shelton, however, has seen his snap share plummet; after playing on over 47 percent of the snaps through the first six games, he’s been used in only about 25 percent of the defensive sets over the past five weeks. Yikes! Sure, game script can dictate how certain lineman are used, but an over 20 percent drop in playing time is pretty significant. John Simon also saw an over 20 percent increase in playing time on Sunday, playing on 42 percent of the snaps after averaging no more than 20 in the three games prior. Bill has never been afraid to shake up the rotation up front based upon recent performance, but he’ll likely need to refine the group a bit once it gets closer to playoff time.

Prediction

If Stephon Gilmore – who, outside of a rough game in Tennessee, has been playing at a truly elite level recently – can keep Diggs at bay on the outside, the Pats will just need to find a way to contain Thielen in the slot. A little extra zone coverage can be used to prevent Cooks from lighting it up on catches out of the backfield, and I’m not too worried about what he or Latavius Murray can do otherwise. Julian Edelman will also likely be the Pats’ X-factor on offense with Josh Gordon facing a tough matchup with Rhodes on the boundary. In the end, though, Minnesota does just enough to beat the Pats out, 31-28.

Jets Make Sam Darnold the Youngest Week 1 Starting QB in the History of the NFL

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ESPN – The New York Jets have a new starting quarterback and a new face of the franchise.

Rookie Sam Darnold was officially named the starter Monday, coach Todd Bowles announced. He will become the youngest opening-day quarterback in NFL history. He will be 21 years, 97 days old when the Jets travel to play the Detroit Lions next Monday night.

Since my brain only works in fragments of movie quotes and pop culture references, lets set the table for this story first.

The Jets are going to make the newly minted 21-year-old, Sam Darnold, the youngest Week 1 starting QB in the history of the NFL.

GOOD LUCK!

The Jets went 5-11 last year with one of the oldest starting QBs in the league in Josh McCown aka Dolph Lundgren.

So it should come as no surprise the Jets turned to the No. 3 overall pick sooner than later to take over under center. Could a guy who just became old enough to buy a beer use a little more seasoning before suiting up for one of the worst teams in the league? Yea probably, but I guess if you’re the Jets whats the difference? You won 5 games with the veteran last year and that 5-year contract clock is already ticking so why redshirt the rookie?

Darnold looked like a lock to be the No. 1 overall pick after his redshirt freshman year at USC throwing for 31 TDs with only 9 INTs, 3086 yards, 67.2 completion % and a 161.1 passing efficiency rating. His numbers dropped pretty  much across the board though in his second and final year as a starter at USC. He threw less TDs, threw more INTs, had a lower completion % and a worse passing efficiency rating — so that would concern me.

What would also concern me is where the guy went to school. University of Southern California. Not exactly a beacon for future NFL QBs and its where the Jets have some experience.

Side note: I was at that game!

But in all seriousness, USC has produced only one real viable NFL starter in Carson Palmer. The rest of the USC signal callers turned into serviceable at best NFL QBs; Matt Leinart, Mark Sanchez, Matt Cassel, Matt Barkley, Cody Kessler, and John David Booty! Not a lot of Pro Bowls in there.

Who knows though? Picking a QB in the NFL is a total crapshoot. With my luck he’ll turn into the next great quarterback stud and will haunt me for all the fun I’ve had at the Jets expense over the past 18 years.

Former Jets QB Christian Hackenberg is Visiting the Patriots Today

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How about that Belichick, man? When the rest of the league is playing checkers he’s playing chess. He trades away his elite young backup QB and then just sits in the weeds waiting for the Jets to outsmart themselves and dump Hackenberg onto the Raiders who then cut him less than 2 weeks later, and thats when Belichick POUNCES.

In all seriousness I hated this pick by the Jets from Day 1. Well technically Day 2 since he was a second round pick. But the guy flashed as a freshman at Penn State with 20 TDs and 10 INTs under old friend Bill O’Brien. Then he regressed the next two years throwing 12/15 and 16/6 before going pro and getting drafted by the New York Football Jets, despite never posting a completion percentage above 59% in college.

In two years with the Jets he threw a grand total of zero passes despite being surrounded by bums like Bryce Petty, Geno Smith, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and Josh McCown. Not exactly murderers row ahead of him.

But before we all freak out lets just remember that the Patriots, as does every other team in the NFL, routinely workout guys that they never sign. Guys they never even hope to have to sign. These are often just workouts to keep the pipeline full in case disaster strikes and guys on your roster get injured.

Or Belichick is dabbling in the dark arts again and has grand plans for young Hackenberg. Jimmy Garoppo-WHO am I right??

Jets Rescind Offer to Ndamukong Suh and I’m Confused

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For the New York Jets to seemingly be the favorite to sign Ndamukong Suh as recently as Friday to suddenly change course and rescind their offer on Sunday, I have only one question for Suh:

For a team that has employed all sorts of degenerates to seemingly have an offer (reportedly the biggest offer) on the table for Suh and yank it back is beyond strange. Did he do something to make the team hesitant to deal with his off the field baggage?? Or is he just pissing teams off by asking for way more money than he deserves?

Its strange for a team that usually lets the GM handle all football business to suddenly have the CEO jumping in and killing a deal. And going out of his way to make it known they took their offer off the table.

I would think of Suh is just holding out for a monster contract the Jets would just say that. “We think Suh is an excellent player, but we realized we are too far apart in contract negotiations and have opted to go in another direction.” Nope, instead we get the mysterious “Our offer has been rescinded and I would rather not tell you why” answer from the CEO.

After signing a 6 year $114M contract with the Dolphins in 2015, Suh is obviously looking to make big money once again. Except he has to remember that he just got cut from said contract and he is now 31 years old. Plus his sack totals have gone down in each of the last 4 seasons from 8.5 in 2014 to 6 in 2015, to 5 in 2016, to 4.5 in 2017. He also had jut 29 tackles, his fewest in a season since 2012. Not a great combination of factors for a guy looking to reset the market and go to the highest paying team, regardless of anything else.

Seeing as its 2018 I’m sure more info will come out on this situation before I have dinner tonight, but we’ll keep an eye on it. Would have been fun, besides fearing for TB12’s health and well being, to watch and hate Suh twice a season for a couple more years though.

The New York Giants Will Start Geno Smith Over Eli Manning at QB This Week. BAHAHAHA

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Giants.com – Coach Ben McAdoo announced today that Geno Smith will start in place of Eli Manning when the Giants face the Raiders in Oakland on Sunday. Rookie Davis Webb will also play, if not this week, then sometime before the end of the season. “Geno will start this week,” McAdoo said. “Over the last five games, we will take a look at Geno, and we will also give Davis an opportunity.” Manning has started 210 consecutive regular-season games, the second-longest streak by a quarterback in NFL history, behind Brett Favre’s 297. He has started every Giants game since Nov. 21, 2004, when he took over for veteran Kurt Warner in the 10th game of his rookie season. Manning has also started 12 postseason games, and twice led the Giants to Super Bowl victories.

BAHAHAHA! What a sad, confused little franchise. Sure, Eli Manning sucks. I’ll be the first one to say that, but benching him in favor of GENO SMITH? Its not like he’s some rookie who could be good, no its Geno Smith. We all KNOW that guy sucks.

The man with the sterling career completion percentage of 57.7% The man with a career 28/36 TD to INT ratio? Thats the guy you turn the reigns over to? Man, Ben McAdoo is fucked in the head. Its like Costanza just doing everything he can intentionally trying to get fired.

But seriously though, Geno Smith played on the same exact fucking field as you guys for four years. Literally nobody aside from Todd Bowles has seen more of Geno than the Giants. But, yea lets throw that guy in there and really piss *everyone* off. Eli may not be Peyton, but the Giants have a whole shit ton of problems bigger than the QB play. Like having 19 guys on IR. Not to mention, most of the Giants fans I know love Eli because he, ya know, won two Super Bowls. How does McAdoo handle that situation?

Manning was given the option of starting against the Raiders to keep the streak alive, but declined. “Coach McAdoo told me I could continue to start while Geno and Davis are given an opportunity to play,” Manning said. “My feeling is that if you are going to play the other guys, play them. Starting just to keep the streak going and knowing you won’t finish the game and have a chance to win it is pointless to me, and it tarnishes the streak.

Benches the best QB in Giants history and then offers to keep his consecutive starts streak alive by having him take the first series and then mixing in Geno and 3rd stringer Davis Webb like its fucking Texas Tech. Props to Eli for basically telling Benny Mac to go piss up a rope.

Yes, the Giants beat us in the Super Bowl (twice), but again I find myself saying thank god I am a Patriots fan as we march towards Minneapolis and Super Bowl title No. 6.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 5

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Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (9-6)

Another week, another one of the worst beats I’ve ever seen in a football game with the ending of that Kansas City game. Just ruthless. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 5 in the NFL, LETS GO


New England Patriots (-5.5, 55.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I picked the Pats to cover and cover they did.

Sunday, Oct. 8
1 p.m. ET

New York Jets at Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 39)
There’s no way you’re going to actually put money on the Browns as a favorite are you? I sure as shit am not going to. I’ll take the Jets here.

Carolina Panthers at Detroit Lions (-3, 44)
Coming off their walkoff win over the Patriots, the Panthers have some momentum heading into Detroit. But the Lions are looking legit this year sitting at 3-1 in first place in the NFC North. It seems the Panthers are slowly figuring out the best way to use Christian McCaffrey with Jonathan Stewart together though so I’m taking the Panthers to cover here.

San Francisco 49ers at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5, 43.5)


Tennessee Titans (NL) at Miami Dolphins
No Line for this game, so nothing to see here.

Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 38)
Call me crazy, I’m taking the Bills here. I like Tyrod Taylor to have a big game against the struggling Bengals.

Los Angeles Chargers at New York Giants (-3.5, 44.5)
A battle of two 0-4 teams. Woof. I’ve been picking the Chargers all year and they keep disappointing so its hard to rely on them here. Giants are in the same boat, but with a fully healthy Odell Beckham I think they finally get on the board here. I’ll take the G-Men to cover.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh Steelers (-8.5, 44)
Steelers are pretty big favorites at (-8.5) so thats asking a lot, but it is the Jaguars. I can definitely see Pittsburgh winning by 10. Fournette’s been solid in his first year rushing for 285 yards and 3 TDs, but Big Ben is rolling with Antonio Brown whos got 30 catches for 388 yards and a score. So I’m taking the Steelers to cover the big spread.

Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5, 45)
Eagles look like they’ve found their QB of the future with Carson Wentz and while I’m still bummed about Short Guy Hall of Famer Darren Sproles going down, Philly is still rolling along. Not a huge fan of old man Carson Palmer, especially with the non-existant run gam post David Johnson, so I’m taking the Eagles to cover.

4 p.m. ET
Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 47)
You gotta be shitting me? I know the Rams are off to a 3-1 start, but I refuse to take them as favorites over the Seahawks on a (-2.5) spread. Put some respeck on Seattle’s name. I’m taking Dangeruss and the Seahawks here.


Baltimore Ravens (NL) at Oakland Raiders
Seems to be a lot of No Lines this season, soo nothing to bet on here.

 

Green Bay Packers at Dallas Cowboys (-2, 52.5)
Its hard to bet against the Packers, who are 3-1 on the season going against the 2-2 Cowboys. The Pack just continue to plug and play guys like Aaron Jones and not miss a beat, but I like Dallas here. Feed Zeke all night long and win by a FG, I’ll take the Boys.


Kansas City Chiefs (NL) at Houston Texans
Another game with No Line. Moving on.

Monday, Oct. 9
8:30 p.m. ET


Minnesota Vikings (NL) at Chicago Bears
No reason to watch MNF if theres No Line. Carry on.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 4

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Week 3 was a rollercoaster with a lot of upsets that I did not see coming (I’m looking at you Denver), but Week 4 is a new day. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 4 in the NFL, LETS GO.

Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (6-9)

Thursday, Sept. 28
Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers (-7, 45.5)
The Bears just keep making me look bad, but I refuse to put my hard earned dollars on Mike Glennon. And I need to see back to back solid games out of Jordan Howard before I trust him. Usually the tired rhetoric about Thursday Night Football is its sloppy, the passing is out of sync and teams lean on their running game. Welp, the Rams and Niners blew that one up last week. So I’m taking the Packers to cover here.

Sunday, Oct. 1
9:30 a.m. ET (at London)
New Orleans Saints (-3, 49.5) vs. Miami Dolphins
I gotta go Saints here. I know they’ve been up and down, but I don’t know if Smokin Jay Cutler and the Dolphins have enough offensive firepower to keep up with the saints. Saints will cover.

1 p.m. ET
Carolina Panthers at New England Patriots (-9, 48.5)
Another big spread for the Pats at (-9) which is a tricky one because the Panthers have been pretty shaky so far this year, but similar to last week against Deshaun Watson, the Pats have historically struggled against mobile QBs. I think its gonna be a game the Pats pull away, but Panthers make it respectable. I got Patriots by 10 to cover.

Los Angeles Rams at Dallas Cowboys (-7.5, 46)
Rams looked great last week putting up 41 points buttt that was on San Francisco. Cowboys gotta win by more than a TD here, whereas the Rams haven’t lost by more than 7 yet this season and have put up 40+ points twice already. But again the competition has been pretty mediocre (Indy, Washington, San Fran) so I’m picking the Cowboys to keep rolling and cover.

Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings (no line)
Does Westgate have something against the Vikings? There’s no line for them for the second week in a row.

Tennessee Titans (-1.5, 44) at Houston Texans
Texans could go one of two ways in this game. Defeated and beat down after dropping a game they probably should have won to the Patriots last week or they’ll come firing out of the gates for sticking with the best team in football for 58 minutes last week. I think Deshaun Watson found his groove last week so I’m taking the Texans to cover here.

Jacksonville Jaguars (-3.5, 39.5) at New York Jets
Bet on this game at your own risk. Jags cruised to victory last week, but they’re more of a running team these days and the Jets have a solid D-line if nothing else. Jets surprised me last week with a W over the Dolphins, but I think Fournette and the gang are too much for the Jets here. Jags cover.

Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 40) at Cleveland Browns
Another game I cringe to even put money on, but hey thats what leaders do, they take the ball and they bring their team down the field. Bengals shit the bed last week, but Cleveland cannot be trusted. Bengals cover.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3, 43.5) at Baltimore Ravens
Ravens had an absolutely embarrassing game last week so they should bounce back. Problem is though, so did the Steelers. After losing in OT to the goddamn Bears, I expect Big Ben and co. to smash the Ravens. Steelers cover.

Buffalo Bills at Atlanta Falcons (-8, 48.5)
Bills are sneaky tied for 1st place in the AFC East and look a lot better than most people thought they would before the season. I think the Bills keep it within a score and cover.

4 p.m. ET
New York Giants at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3, 44)
This year’s Hard Knocks darlings have yet to beat anyone great yet as their first game got postponed, then they beat the Bears, and then got smoked by the Vikings last week. ODB looks healthy once again, but the Giants are 0-3 and could be reeling so I’m going with the Bucs to cover.

Philadelphia Eagles at Los Angeles Chargers (-1, 47)
Despite being 0-3, the Chargers have had some bad breaks and could easily be 2-1 so I think they’re due, plus it likely will take the Eagles a little while to figure out how to best replace Darren Sproles with Smallwood and others. Chargers are due, I’m picking them to cover.

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (-7, 44.5)
The Niners got blown out in their opener, but then nearly beat Seattle in Week 2, which looking back now seems to have more to do with the Seahawks offensive line than anything. Then they kept it close before losing to the Rams last week. Arizona looks to rebound after an L in Dallas in which Larry Fitzgerald looked 10 years younger. Their running game is still a disaster without David Johnson, but wth Fitz and Jaron Brown stepping up in the receiving core I’m picking the Cardinals to cover.

Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos (-2.5, 46.5)
This is a heavyweight matchup of AFC playoff teams and the Broncos are favored by a FG. Both teams had disappointing losses last week so everyone’s looking to get back on track. Oakland has been leaning on Marshawn Lynch here early and Denver is one of the worst teams to try and run on so I’m going with the Broncos to cover here.

8:30 p.m. ET
Indianapolis Colts at Seattle Seahawks (-13, 41.5)
God the Colts suck, but a two TD spread is huge for a team thats been struggling offensively. As much as I want to pick the Colts, Russell Wilson looked great last week and if the Seahawks can get him out of the pocket he’ll shred the Colts D. So while I usually hate picking the favorite in huge spreads like this, Dangeruss is looking good, and the Seahawks are at home where they are loud as shit. I’ll take Seattle to cover.

Monday, Oct. 2
Washington Redskins at Kansas City Chiefs (-7, 49.5)
I’m going to continue to roll with the Chiefs who have looked awesome so far this year. Kareem Hunt is scary good and the R-words have yet to really find a groove as guys like Terrell Pryor continue to underwhelm. I got the Chiefs covering here.

Picking Up the Pieces: Gambling NFL Week 3

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Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (8-7)
This week (6-9)

Whats that saying? Fall down 9 times, get up 10? Yea, well sometimes that applies to gambling, especially when you get your dick ripped out on the first game of the week on a backdoor cover. Rebounded nicely from our 0-5 start to finish the week at 6-9. Can’t win em all.

Thursday, Sept. 21
Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 40) at San Francisco 49ers

Bad beat of the year. I wrote a blog entirely about how badly screwed anyone who took the Rams got on this one.
Our pick: Rams to cover the (-2.5) spread…they won by 2. So thats an L. (0-1)

Sunday, Sept. 24
Baltimore Ravens (-4, 39) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

What an absolute abortion this game was. Those poor London fans, even when Jacksonville is good they get a shit game. Jags put the smackdown on Flacco and the Ravens, winning 44-7. Yuck.
Our pick: Ravens to cover. Thats an L. (0-2)

Denver Broncos (-3, 40.5) at Buffalo Bills

This is shaping up to be a disaster for gamblers everywhere. Did not see the Broncos folding like they did in this one, especially after how well Trevor Siemian had played the first two games. Bills are now tied for first place in the AFC East.
Our pick: Broncos to cover. Thats an L. (0-3)

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-6, 48)

Wrong again dickhead. Despite a 100+ yard receiving game from Christian McCaffrey, the Panthers couldn’t even put two touchdowns up as the Saints cruised to a 34-13 win. Damn.
Our pick: Panthers to cover. Thats an L. (0-4)

Pittsburgh Steelers (-7.5, 45.5) at Chicago Bears

THIS WEDDING IS HORSESHIT. If you picked the Bears to beat the Steelers you are lying and I don’t associate with liars. Bears top Pittsburgh in OT behind Jordan Howards 34 points (on my fantasy bench).
Our pick: Steelers to cover. Thats a big L. (0-5)

Atlanta Falcons (-3, 49) at Detroit Lions

Okay if the Rams game was the bad beat of the year, this is the bad beat of the century IF you bet on the Lions. Thankfully I did not because I would have smashed my TV. Lions got a walkoff TD erased by a questionable replay review and per the rules the cluck had a 10-second runoff leaving the Lions with their dick in their hands at the 1 yard line.
Our pick: Falcons to cover. Thats a W! (1-5)

Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 40) at Indianapolis Colts

Here’s what I said last week: “This is the first game the Browns have been favored to win since 2015! So tread lightly here. But I like what I saw out of rookie receiver Rashard Higgins last week (7 catches, 95 yards) and the Colts are still starting the Patriots 3rd-string QB. While it is with great trepidation, I’m taking the Browns to cover. Well guess what? The Browns did not cover. Shocking, I know. And Rashard Higgins did nothing despite being freshly inserted into my fantasy lineup. Colts won 31-28.
Our pick: Browns to cover. Thats an L. (1-6)

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (no line)

Westgate had no line on this game. Soo we didn’t bet it.

Houston Texans at New England Patriots (-13, 43.5)

Patriots won 36-33, but as we predicted last week the (-13) spread was way too heavy for the Pats to cover. Here’s what I said last week: “While I told anyone and everyone to bet their house on the Pats routing the Saints last week, I’m not as confident in predicting a blowout here. The Texans defense is legit, especially upfront. And if you’ve been paying attention over the years, these are the types of teams that usually give the Pats trouble (except for last year when Brissett and co. wrecked them). But Pats also have historically struggled with mobile QBs and Deshaun Watson is that dude. So while I think the Pats win, I’m picking the Texans to cover.”
Our pick: Texans to cover. Thats a W. (2-6)

Miami Dolphins (-6, 41.5) at New York Jets

Basically every shit team won this past week, wrecking my bets across the board. The Jets throttled Smokin Jay Cutler and the Dolphins 20-6. Did not see that one coming.
Our pick: Dolphins to cover. Thats an L. (2-7)

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-6, 43)

Eagles won on a 61 yard FG as time expired, which was a goddamn BOOT. Eagles won, but only by 3 so they didn’t cover the (-6) point spread. What I said last week was “until ODB proves to me he is 100% I’m not picking the Giants because they’re just not that good without him. Plus Carson Wentz is playing well and Darren Sproles continues to be the most spry 34-year-old running back I’ve ever seen.” ODB looks to be back to his old self as he was scoring TDs and pretending to piss like a dog and I just jinxed Sproles who broke his arm AND tore his ACL on the SAME PLAY. What a disaster of a week.
Our pick: Eagles to cover. Thats an L. (2-8)

Seattle Seahawks at Tennessee Titans (-3, 43)

While the Seahawks seemingly are on the way back to being a solid offense again, the Titans topped them 33-27. I would like to just point out that even though I picked this game correctly, I also benched Russell Wilson on my fantasy team. And of course I lost because Dangeruss had 45 points on my bench. Goddamnit.
Our pick: Titans to cover. Thats a W. (3-8)

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers (-9, 44.5)

Nailed this one. Packers won 27-24 “The Bengals are a walking disaster right now. Andy Dalton is having the worst start of his career and Tyler Eifert is back into injury purgatory (is he hurt? is he not?) so Cincy is a tough pick. The Packers don’t look like world beaters either though with Rodgers throwing a ton of shitty passes while under duress last week. Is Green Bay (-9) points better than Cincy? I say no, I think its a closer game than that as both teams are struggling. Bengals cover.”
Our pick: Bengals to cover. Thats a W. (4-8)

 

Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 46) at Los Angeles Chargers

DING DING DING. I may not get em all right, but when I tell you to put big bucks down, you better be listening. “The Chiefs are rolling, put some big bucks down on them to cover this week…I think KC is one of the best bets of the week to cover.”
Our pick: Chiefs to cover. Thats a W. (5-8)

 

Oakland Raiders (-3, 54) at Washington Redskins

Whoops. Raiders ate a bag of dicks in this game and the R-words got back on track as they topped Oakland 27-10. What is happening in the NFL this week?
Our pick: Raiders to cover. Thats an L. (5-9)

Monday, Sept. 25
Dallas Cowboys (-3, 47) at Arizona Cardinals

At least the Cowboys showed up in primetime to take care of business, despite a fantasy no-show from Cole Beasley, complete with hilarious response. Dak, Zeke and Dez all looked great. Money won is always sweeter than money earned.
Our pick: Cowboys cover. Thats a W. (6-9)

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 3

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As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of Westgate so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 3 in the NFL, LETS GO.

Overall Record (8-7)
Last week (8-7)

Thursday, Sept. 21
Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 40) at San Francisco 49ers

Bet this one at your own risk because this has all the makings of an ugly game. But if I HAVE to make a pick, I’m going with the Rams to cover. Goff has looked decent and Cooper Kupp looks like the next young white slot receiver. Its crazy how one goes out (Edelman) and another immediately takes its place, like a goddamn snake.

Sunday, Sept. 24
9:30 a.m. ET (at London)
Baltimore Ravens (-4, 39) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

SUNDAY MORNING FOOTBALL IS BACK! Bloodys and bacon for kickoff. I LOVE London football because it means there are games on from when I wake up until when I go to bed. Sure, its a shitshow for the teams playing, but hey as long as its not my team. Jacksonville looked good Week 1 and then looked like shit in Week 2. I think that trend probably continues, especially so far from home. I’m taking the Ravens to cover here.

1 p.m. ET
Denver Broncos (-3, 40.5) at Buffalo Bills

The Broncos have looked excellent thus far as they shut down the high powered Cowboys and Ezekiel Elliott last week. They also look like they’ve stumbled onto something with Trevor Siemian under center, throwing four TDs last week. And as much as I love Tyrod Taylor, he’s throwing to a bunch of bums and rookies out there when Charles Clay isn’t catching it. Shady McCoy is still a beast, but I think the Broncos take it to the Bills in Buffalo and cover.

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-6, 48)

The Panthers barely got out of Week 2 alive, topping the Bills 9-3, so they’re not exactly firing on all cylinders. The Saints meanwhile are plagued by a swiss cheese defense for what feels like every year since they won the Super Bowl. Cam Newtons been getting banged up, but I think they still have enough to cover over the Saints.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-7.5, 45.5) at Chicago Bears

Bears are a dogshit football team and I cannot advise picking them in any situation outside of them playing the Jets or Browns. Antonio Brown, Leveon Bell, Martavis Bryant? Steelers roll.

Atlanta Falcons (-3, 49) at Detroit Lions

This will be an interesting game to watch. Atlanta got back on track against Green Bay last week and the Lions took it to the Giants on MNF. (-3) isn’t a huge favorite, which is why I’m going with the Falcons to cover. Remember, Detroit beat up on a NYG with a super limited Odell Beckham. Plus they murdered the Giants’ punter too.

Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 40) at Indianapolis Colts

This is the first game the Browns have been favored to win since 2015! So tread lightly here. But I like what I saw out of rookie receiver Rashard Higgins last week (7 catches, 95 yards) and the Colts are still starting the Patriots 3rd-string QB. While it is with great trepidation, I’m taking the Browns to cover.

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (no line)

Westgate had no line on this game. Cool.

Houston Texans at New England Patriots (-13, 43.5)

Jesus christ, another gigantic spread for the Pats to cover. Heavy lies the crown I guess. While I told anyone and everyone to bet their house on the Pats routing the Saints last week, I’m not as confident in predicting a blowout here. The Texans defense is legit, especially upfront. And if you’ve been paying attention over the years, these are the types of teams that usually give the Pats trouble (except for last year when Brissett and co. wrecked them). But Pats also have historically struggled with mobile QBs and Deshaun Watson is that dude. So while I think the Pats win, I’m picking the Texans to cover.

Miami Dolphins (-6, 41.5) at New York Jets

Theres no sugar coating it, the Jets are a brutal team to watch. They put up a decent fight in the first half last week against Oakland before getting stomped out in the second half. But I have very little faith in them week to week. I could see them staying with the Dolphins, but Smokin Jay Cutler looked very efficient last week and Miami’s run game is legit. So I’m picking the Dolphins to cover.

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-6, 43)

The Giants will continue to be an enigma until Odell Beckham is healthy and right, which who knows when that could be. Like I said last week, until ODB proves to me he is 100% I’m not picking the Giants because they’re just not that good without him. Plus Carson Wentz is playing well and Darren Sproles continues to be the most spry 34-year-old running back I’ve ever seen.

4 p.m. ET
Seattle Seahawks at Tennessee Titans (-3, 43)

The Seahawks offense is rip your hair out frustrating right now as the offensive line is a goddamn sieve. So until that shit improves, Russell looks like Dangeruss again (and saves my fantasy season) and someone takes that RB job (looking at you Chris Carson) then I’m not too confident picking the Hawks. For that reason I’ll go with the Titans and the Duck to cover.

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers (-9, 44.5)

The Bengals are a walking disaster right now. Andy Dalton is having the worst start of his career and Tyler Eifert is back into injury purgatory (is he hurt? is he not?) so Cincy is a tough pick. The Packers don’t look like world beaters either though with Rodgers throwing a ton of shitty passes while under duress last week. Is Green Bay (-9) points better than Cincy? I say no, I think its a closer game than that as both teams are struggling. Bengals cover.

Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 46) at Los Angeles Chargers

The Chiefs are rolling, put some big bucks down on them to cover this week. Unless of course the Chargers miss another game winning kick and lose by 2…BUT I think KC is one of the best bets of the week to cover.

8:30 p.m. ET
Oakland Raiders (-3, 54) at Washington Redskins

Taking Oakland all day, especially with how disappointing Kirk Cousins and the R-words have been thus far. Derek Carr and Marshawn will have a day against Washington so I’m picking da Raiders to cover.

Monday, Sept. 25
Dallas Cowboys (-3, 47) at Arizona Cardinals

The Boys are back in prime time and after a beatdown by the Broncos last week look for Zeke, who had a disastrous game against Denver, to get the rock early and often here. Dallas needs that to help keep the pressure of Dak and avoid the dumb INTs. Cowboys cover.