Tag: Movies

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Thor

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I remember I held off on seeing Thor until I had to no choice since it was a prerequisite for understanding the Avengers. Similar to when Iron Man first came out I had absolutely zero idea who the hell Thor was so I had pretty low expectations coming into this one. The story itself is a bit out there, but it presented the first opportunity for the MCU to really expand its grasp beyond that of Earth and it does it pretty well. It also does a great job of introducing SHIELD in a universal, nay galactic, role without totally shoehorning it into the movie. The highlight of the film though is definitely Chris Hemsworth, who was a complete unknown at this point, but became instantly enjoyable with his brash, aloof demi-god character.

Synopsis

Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings, and Stellan Skarsgård as Dr. Selvig are storm chasing, looking to unearth some type of astrological phenomenon, when they end up smoking an unidentified person with their van, who we learn is Chris Hemsworth falling from the sky.

An Anthony Hopkins voiceover explains the concept of life beyond Earth, officially introducing intergalactic characters into the MCU. The Frost Giants are introduced as the original big baddie with a weapon of mass destruction. This blue cube looks exactly like a lot of other colorful glowing cubes in the MCU, but this is *not* in fact an Infinity Stone. It’s actually The Casket of Ancient Winters.

(The first reference of an Infinity Stone in the MCU won’t be revealed until the end of this movie actually.) So as the Frost Giants tried to take over the universe, including Earth, Odin defeats them (and loses his eye in the process…just like his son would also do years later!) and returns home to Asgard with the ancient relic for safe keeping.

Years later Thor is on the precipice of being crowned the new king of Asgard and Loki is visibly bullshit. But, wait! Before Odin can officially say the words to make Thor king the Frost Giants have “somehow” snuck into Asgard and they want their blue cube back.

We also meet The Destroyer, who protects all of Odin’s dangerous toys and subsequently kills the Frost Giant intruders. Don’t sleep on this guy because he’ll be back.

Thor defies his fathers wishes and goes to Jotunheim, home of the Frost Giants, looking for answers and starts a big old battle. Key scene here shows one of Thor’s warriors getting burned by a Frost Giant, yet when Loki gets touched his skin turns blue and we see the wheels start to turn in his head. The battle goes on before Odin not surprisingly has to come rescue the crew before banishing Thor for disobeying him.

I have to say, in the beginning of this movie, Thor sounds an awfulll lot like Prince Joffrey now that I rewatch it.

Full of arrogance, mean, and just itching to start a war before Odin shuts him down.

Back to Earth.

Along with Thor Odin sends his son’s hammer, Mjolnir, to Earth saying only he who is worthy of its power will be able to wield the weapon. (Not you, Loki)

In a direct reference to Excalibur (the director has a fondness for Shakespeare and such), Thor’s hammer lands in the New Mexico desert and people come from all over trying to pull it from the ground before SHIELD quarantines the entire area.

Natalie Portman has all of her scientific research confiscated by SHIELD and now that her and Hemsworth are acquainted, Thor promises to give her all the answers she seeks if she drives him out to the crash site where Mjolnir currently sits.

We’re also introduced to Hawkeye for the very first time in this scene as Thor tries to fight through the SHIELD base to get his hammer back.

How about Jeremy Renner? Remember when he was tapped to be the next biggest movie star on the planet? He was in The Town, Thor, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and the Avengers back to back to back to back. Thats four absolute heaters in a row he starred in before making the snooze fest that was The Bourne Legacy followed up by Hansel and Gretel. WHO IS HIS AGENT?

Unfortunately Thor comes to learn without his powers he is unable to lift Mjolnir, which is what finally breaks his spirit from the cocky warrior that he has been. Luckily Dr. Selvig talks his way into getting Thor out of SHIELD custody.

THIS IS WHERE THE MOVIE HITS THE WRAP IT UP BOX

Thor’s righthand men and women (Lady Sif and the Warriors Three) take the bifrost bridge and teleport to Earth as they look to bring back their rightful king, which Loki doesn’t appreciate so he send the Defender to Earth to destroy them all. Once Thor’s crew promptly gets their asses kicked, the Thunder God offers his own life to spare the others. His apparent death is the selfless act necessary to grant the return of his powers and Mjolnir. Thor then makes quick work of the robot from The Day the Earth Stood Still.

This is where things get a little confusing. Loki cuts a deal with the Frost Giants to let them into Asgard so they can kill Odin…so he can become king…I guess. Then despite opening the goddamn door for them, Loki kills the Frost Giant before it can kill Odin. A cunning trickster indeed.

Loki reveals his grand plan is to open up the bifrost to destroy the Jotunheim.

Huh?

His plan was to rescue his father and then wipe the Frost Giants out to earn his father’s respect and become the true heir. I think? By starting war and committing genocide, which Odin was openly against from the start of the movie and is exactly what got Thor banished in the first place.

I don’t know, this never gets explained very well.

I’m pretty sure the third act of this movie is used solely to set up Thor’s reason for even being around during the Avengers. To stop Loki, Thor is forced to destroy the bifrost.

Odin wakes up from his dirt nap and a defeated Loki lets himself fall from the broken bridge as we’re left to wonder where he went.

Apropos of Nothing:

Heimdall is still the best. It’s a shame how criminally underused Idris Alba was in the whole MCU.

Loki really is one of the best anti-heroes in comic book history. After learning of his Frost Giant heritage he flips out on Odin and gives us one of the most popular GIFs of all time:

The whole exchange gives Odin a heart attack and as he drops Loki cries out for the guards. Despite all the evil shit Loki does in the following movies, you can’t help but feel for the guy.

The Breadcrumbs of the MCU…

“I knew this scientist, the pioneer in gamma radiation. SHIELD showed up and he wasn’t heard from again.”

What Has Aged Well

The one liners still land remarkably well.

  • Thor walks into a pet store and yells “I need a horse.”
  • “That still doesn’t explain how he was able to tear through our defenses?”
    • “STEROIDS!”
  • “Is that one of Stark’s?”
    • “I don’t know, he doesn’t tell me anything anymore.”
  • Thor calling Agent Coulson “Son of Cole.”
  • Thursday = Thor’s Day

What Has Not Aged Well

It took me seven years to figure it out, but I finally realized why Chris Hemsworth looks so weird in Thor 1 compared to all of the other movies he’s in. They died his goddamn eyebrows for some reason in the first movie, but then never did it again.

Thor 1:

Avengers 1:

Thor 2:

Oh my god the product placement. I must have seen that 7/11 sign no less than 30 times.

Asgard has fucking TERRIBLE security as the whole realm gets invaded in 2/3rds of Thor’s standalone films.

The Frost Giants look a hell of a lot like the White Walkers. Thor came out a month after Game of Thrones officially premiered, so GoT technically got the jump. After 7 seasons of Thrones they have the icy blue look on lock.

Rating

Thor was the first pleasant surprise of the MCU. Iron Man was great, but we had literally zero expectations for that. Hulk was always a disaster so anything after the Eric Bana mess would have been good enough. Thor was the first MCU movie that I was actively not looking forward to at all. A space god with long blonde hair directed by Sir Kenneth Branagh, a guy best known for Henry V, Hamlet, and Shakespeare? Sounded like a recipe for a disaster, but ended up being very entertaining. Thor holds up surprisingly well seven years later and sets up the MCU to tackle stories beyond that of just Earth.

7/10

 

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POST CREDITS SCENE

Wednesday Morning Movie Quote: Kill Bill 2

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“As you know, l’m quite keen on comic books. Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating.”

One of my favorite monologues comes from Kill Bill 2 (2004), the second and final entry into Quentin Tarantino’s uber violent revenge series. Obvious spoilers in the clip above, but it’s been 14 years so if you haven’t seen Kill Bill yet thats a you problem. Bill tackles superhero mythology and what it is that makes Superman his favorite; the character’s critique of mankind.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Iron Man

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The300s MCU

Iron-Man-Poster-2008-MyPosterCollection.com-3

A little over 10 years ago I walked into the movie theater with some friends. I had just finished my freshman year of college and was home for a couple of months. That summer promised some insanely popular movies, namely the second installment of the Christopher Nolan Batman franchise, The Dark Knight. To say that Iron Man was anywhere on my radar would have been a complete lie. While I always considered myself a fan of comic book movies, I was never what you would consider a die-hard. You have to figure, this was 2008, way before we were able to see what the Marvel Cinematic Universe would become. Hell, just a year earlier we were given the much maligned Spider-Man 3. It was a different time back then. So when I sat down in my seat in the theater that day, I had no idea what was about to happen. I was about to enter a world that would engross me for the next decade.

In case you somehow forgot, Iron Man started it all. We were introduced to Tony Stark, a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist (his words, not mine) played by Robert Downey Jr., who at the time was coming off a rough battle with substance abuse. The casting of Downey Jr. was definitely a bit out of left field, especially to lead what Marvel Studios hoped would launch a franchise. Keep in mind though, this was before Disney acquired Marvel and the distribution was still handled by Paramount. Suffice it to say they absolutely nailed the casting. I mean, could you imagine anyone else in the role?

To sum it up quickly, Iron Man follows Stark to the Middle East where he is conducting weapons tests for his company, Stark Industries. While overseeing the development, he is kidnapped by terrorists and instructed to create a weapon for them. Using his genius and the materials provided, he constructs a crude version of the Iron Man suit and unleashes holy hell on the terrorists. He escapes and returns home, set on changing how his company operates and with a passion to do good in the world. Naturally, shit hits the fan when his business partner, Obadiah Stane, catches wind of Starks’ plan to exit the arms dealing industry and learns of his Iron Man persona. Stane becomes Iron Monger with the help of Tony’s old suit, they battle, and naturally Tony wins and saves the day. After the credits, Nick Fury shows up to plant the seed of the Avengers initiative, and the rest is history.

I remember when I first saw the post-credits scene, I had no idea what Marvel’s plans were. In fact, I don’t think I had ever seen a post-credits scene before this point. Marvel then obviously perfected it, always leaving us hanging for the next installment. Where else do you see an entire audience stay in their seats through all the credits just to see a clip that will inevitably wind up on youtube the next day? It was revolutionary and changed the game.

So what did I like?

Robert Downey Jr. 

I became an instant fan when I saw this movie. He was hilarious and believable in the part. The guy obviously had a great number of films before this and it encouraged me to go back and watch movies like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Zodiac (I also completely forgot he was in the underrated gem, Bowfinger).

Terrence Howard

Talk about shitty luck, huh? Howard played the original Colonel James “Rhodey” Rhodes (aka War Machine) who was later replaced with actor Don Cheadle. It’s not clear why he didn’t return, but it had something to do with a contract dispute. I thought Howard and Downey Jr. played well off of each other and was looking forward to seeing him in the sequels. No disrespect to the Cheadle.

The Plot

I really loved how self-contained the story was. At the time I guess it wasn’t really that important, but now that we live in a world where there are already three Avengers films out with a fourth on the way, it’s nice to look back at a time when the only hero in town was Iron Man. Now any time a Marvel movie comes out and it’s a stand alone film, I always wonder where the hell everyone else is and why they can’t help out.

19 more MCU films have been released since 2008, yet unsurprisingly, Iron Man still remains one of my favorite Marvel films. It’s been cool to see the evolution of the character over the past decade and I am just praying to god he doesn’t meet his demise in Avengers: Endgame.

Final Verdict: 9.0 out of 10

On that note, I leave you with this gem. RIP Obadiah.

TWO NEW MARVEL TRAILERS DROPPING THIS WEEK – including Avengers 4!

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Image result for avengers 4

Marvel nerds like yours truly are in for a real treat this week, as it was announced we’ll get TWO brand-new trailers over the next couple of days – starting with the second teaser for Captain Marvel on Monday night!

Back in September, we brought you the first CM trailer and there was a lot to like from the brief footage we got. For a story and character who does not have much of a mainstream following at all, we’ll hopefully get a better glimpse into Carol Danvers’ background and how it connects to the MCU overall. We already know she’s a force to be reckoned with and that Nick Fury has a lot to do with her story, but that’s about it right now. I need more, Marvel! Especially considering I still have to wait a little over three months to see it.

As mentioned in the tweet above, the second Captain Marvel trailer is set to drop tonight on Monday Night Football.

But even more exciting is the news that we are also going to get what we’ve all been waiting for: the first look at the still untitled Avengers 4 film! The first-ever teaser trailer – or promotional material of any kind so far, really – for the much anticipated finale to last year’s Avengers: Infinity War is expected to be released on Wednesday morning, with many speculating it will air on ABC’s Good Morning America.

Image result for avengers infinity war

Yes, FINALLY! I know! Took ’em long enough!

BUT, do be sure to temper your expectations a bit. We’re not going to find out what happened to our beloved heroes that turned to dust at the end of the last film (I’m not even gonna say SPOILER ALERT here, because…come on, seriously?). We’re also probably not going to find out wherever the hell Thanos was at the end of the movie (even though some tried and true Marvel fans out there think it might be a place called “Soulworld,” which I will fully admit I am certainly no expert on.)

Maybe, however, we will get some intimations about some of the other burning questions we all had after leaving the theater last summer. Is Gamora alive? Does Hawkeye decide to make one more comeback? What actually happened to Vision? And, last but not least, will Bruce finally get his shit together and learn how to control himself (and the Giant Green Guy) once again?

Image result for mark ruffalo hulk

What the hell’s going on with you, doc?

I guess we’re about to find out, and there’s always a chance we could get a quick 30-second cut of B.S. But either way, I’m super amped and just wanted to make sure all my fellow Marvel heads have their eyes peeled this week. Happy Monday indeed!

The 300s Top 20 Most Anticipated Movies of 2019

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I’m not exaggerating when I say there are a billion movies coming out next year. Seriously, I was pretty shocked to see just how much is coming to theaters in 2019. So for your reading pleasure, I picked my 20 most anticipated and break down what you need to know.

20) The New Mutants

Release Date: August 2nd, 2019

Starring: Maisie Williams, Antonio Banderas, Charlie Heaton

This will probably be the last X-Men movie under the Fox umbrella. It’s billed as a horror film so it’ll be interesting to see how this goes. Disney is set to acquire Fox in January so you can fully expect to see the X-Men completely rebooted and added to Marvel’s Phase 4 plans. This film was supposed to come out this past February and has been pushed back several times so make of that what you will. Personally, i’m excited to see Arya Stark in a new role.

19) Men In Black

Release Date: June 14th, 2019

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Tessa Thompson

We have the first reboot of the list on our hands! It stars a re-team of our two leads from Thor 3. I was a huge fan of the original 1997 film, but thought the two sequels it spawned were forgettable at best. I’m kind of surprised this wasn’t rebooted sooner to be honest. At least we’re not getting that rumored MIB/21 Jump Street spinoff. Nobody was asking for that. Dodged a bullet there.

18) Frozen 2

Release Date: November 22nd, 2019

Starring: Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, Idina Menzel

I was the last person on planet earth to see the first Frozen and I must say I was pleasantly surprised. I’m a big Disney guy (especially a big fan of Disney actually being Frozen himself) so this makes the list on curiosity alone. It’s ironic because the best part of the movie is Olaf who is voiced by Josh Gad, who I absolutely despise. Cautiously optimistic on this one.

17) Dumbo

Release Date: March 29th, 2019

Starring: Danny Devito, Colin Farrell, Eva Green, Michael Keaton, Dumbo The Elephant

Another Disney entry, the first of three live action remakes on my list. The cast is stacked and the CGI Dumbo is fucking adorable so how could you not be in on this? The original cartoon is low key one of the most depressing movies of all time so the inner emo in me is down to sob in a Regal Theater over a computerized elephant that can fly. Plus it’s directed by Tim Burton so you know we’re in for a trip.

16) The Lego Movie 2

Release Date: February 8th, 2019

Starring: Chris Pratt, Alison Brie, Jonah Hill

Legos are the shit. Case closed.

15) Dark Phoenix

Release Date: June 7th, 2019

Starring: Sophie Turner, Jennifer Chastain, Jennifer Lawrence

We actually have two X-Men movies coming out next year, and as I mentioned previously, it’s not looking likely we’ll see a continuation of this version of the supergroup after the Disney acquisition of Fox. Still, it’ll be nice to see these actors at least one more time to shine. If anything, we get one more turn of Fassbender as Magneto which is worth the price of admission alone.

14) Aladdin

Release Date: May 24th, 2019

Starring: Will Smith, Naomi Scott, Mena Massoud

2nd of 3 live action Disney remakes. This one has Will Smith as the Genie though. Big shoes to fill replacing the legendary Robin Williams, but if anyone can step into the role it’s the Fresh Prince.

13) Untitled Terminator 6

Release Date: November 1st, 2019

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton

We are FINALLY getting a direct sequel to Terminator 2. We’re just gonna pretend those pesky 3 other sequels never happened, okay? Linda Hamilton returns as Sarah Connor and i’m just praying we get a worthy sequel to what I consider one of the greatest sci-fi movies of all time. Hopefully the Governator brings his A game too.

12) Hobbs and Shaw

Release Date: August 2nd, 2019

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham

It only took 18 years and 8 movies to get a spinoff of the Fast and the Furious franchise going. Now that we got one coming soon, i’m not really sure how I feel about it. Vin Diesel is pissed about it. Tyrese is pissed about it. Hell, even Paul Walker is pissed about it I think. I’m a huge fan of the Rock, but this is not his franchise to take over. I’ll still be there opening weekend, but I am a bit weary.

11) Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Release Date: August 9th, 2019

Starring: Every actor in Hollywood

No seriously. The better question would be to ask who is not starring in this movie. Quentin Tarantino brings us back to the 60s and tells us the story of Charles Manson and the murders he inspired. Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Al Pacino, Dakota Fanning, Kurt Russell, Damian Lewis, Emile Hirsch, Tim Roth, Timothy Olyphant, Michael Madsen, Luke Perry, James Marsden, and Zoe Bell star (to name a few).

10) Captain Marvel

Release Date: March 8th, 2019

Starring: Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson

This would probably rank higher for me if I had any clue who Captain Marvel is. I love Brie Larson and it’s a Marvel movie so it’s bound to be awesome and make a billion dollars. Cool to see a female led Marvel movie as well. I just wasn’t exposed to this character growing up so this will be my first real introduction to her. Very excited about it nonetheless.

9) Joker

Release Date: October 4th, 2019

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Robert De Niro

This movie is not my most anticipated of 2019, but it’s probably the one that intrigues me the most. Jared Leto was so bad as the Joker that it left a sour taste in my mouth. This version however, directed by Todd Phillips, looks to stray towards Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the character which i’m more than happy with. Couple that with the lead being Joaquin Phoenix, a phenomenal actor in his own right, and this film has the potential to be something special. It apparently also operates independently of the DC Universe films which is completely fine by me, and i’m sure to you the reader.

8) John Wick: Chapter 3

Release Date: May 17th, 2019

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Halle Berry, Ian McShane

It’s great seeing Keanu Reeves utilized to his potential as he’s always been a phenomenal actor when given the right material. The John Wick films have been a great addition to the man’s already stellar catalogue (Point Break, i’m looking at you). Then again, I would watch Keanu eat breakfast so it’s no surprise i’ll be there in theaters when Chapter 3 drops next May.

7) The Lion King

Release Date: July 19th, 2019

Starring: Donald Glover, Beyonce, Seth Rogen, James Earl Jones

The final Disney live action remake on my list is the GOAT of Disney movies from the 1990s. Donald Glover aka Childish Gambino takes the role of Simba, which is just another badass resume booster for one of the most talented dudes out there. They even got James Earl Jones to return as Mufasa. This movie is going to make a billion dollars, mark my words.

6) Spider-Man: Far From Home

Release Date: July 5th, 2019

Starring: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Jake Gyllenhaal

A sequel to last year’s Spider-Man: Homecoming, this movie will be the first set in Marvel’s Phase 4. Jake Gyllenhaal steps into the role of Mysterio, a character i’ve been waiting to see on the big screen since I was a kid. The action takes place in London this time, hence the title Far From Home. I love Tom Holland as Spider-Man too. Count me in for this one come next July.

5) Toy Story 4

Release Date: June 21st, 2019

Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Jordan Peele

I thought Toy Story 3 was the perfect way to end the series, yet here we are. I’m not going to complain about getting more adventures in this universe, they just better have a great story to back it up. I still haven’t fully recovered from all the toys almost getting incinerated at the end of the last movie. Really traumatic shit, even for a 20 year old.

4) Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Release Date: May 31st, 2019

Starring: Kyle Chandler, Millie Bobby Brown, Sally Hawkins

I absolutely adored the last Godzilla movie, despite Aaron Taylor Johnson giving the most boring performance of all time. The subtle and gradual use of Godzilla himself throughout the movie was perfectly executed in my opinion and it brought us to a world I want to spend more time in. We’re getting all the big bads this time around like Mothra, King Ghidorah, and Rodan. Not to mention Coach Taylor is the lead this time around so i’ll obviously be seeing this one.

3) Pokemon: Detective Pikachu

Release Date: May 10th, 2019

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Justice Smith

It only took a billion years, but we’re finally getting a live-action Pokemon movie and it looks…great? I was insanely pessimistic about this when I heard it was coming out, but the trailer completely sold it for me. Not to mention it apparently did some test screenings last week and got rave reviews. Do we finally have a good video game to film adaptation on our hands? I’m hopeful. Having Ryan Reynolds voicing Pikachu always helps.

2) Star Wars: Episode IX

Release Date: December 20th, 2019

Starring: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Mark Hamill

Episode IX is being billed as the final chapter in the Skywalker saga. Whether or not you believe that is up to you. I’ve really enjoyed this new trilogy thus far. Disney has done well keeping the spirit of the original films alive while adding new layers of depth to a universe that will surely go on well after we’re all dead. Couple that with two announced live-action shows on the yet-to-be launched Disney streaming service, and we’re looking at a whole lot of Star Wars in the near future folks. All hail the supreme leader, Kylo Ren.

1) Avengers 4

Release Date: May 3rd, 2019 (But likely to get bumped up to the last week of April)

Starring: Everyone that didn’t get snapped in the last movie

An obvious choice for #1. We’ve been waiting 11 years for the conclusion to this storyline, and the Marvel movies will likely never be the same after it’s done. How it all plays out is anyone’s guess. Some big names will probably bite the dust in this one too so get those tissues ready. My guess? Steve Rogers is a goner and Tony Stark becomes the new Nick Fury.

Poor Sean Bean, the Video Game Hitman 2 Now Even Lets You Kill Ned Stark

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Engadget – Movie producers have seemingly gone out of their way to kill Sean Bean in whatever role he plays, so it only makes sense that you could off him in a game, right? IO Interactive certainly thinks so — it has revealed that the first Elusive Target in Hitman 2 is none other than the perpetually ill-fated actor. Bean plays Mark Faba, an ex-MI5 agent who has become a freelance assassin. He’s nicknamed “The Undying” due to his knack for faking his own death, but you’re clearly there to put an end to that streak.

This guy gets axed in *spoiler alert* EVERYTHING. Now he’s even going to get gatted in video game form thanks to Hitman 2. Count me in.

Sean Bean’s got 131 acting credits to his name on IMDB and I would guess he dies in no less than half of those. I’ll also never forget Papa Giorgio just straight up ruining Game of Thrones for me, despite himself, never having watched an episode. Back in 2014 I’m finally diving into Season 1 of Thrones and burning through it when he walks in and says “Oh he’s still alive?” Well the next 5 episodes were just me waiting for the inevitable Sean Bean death scene.

PS – Hitman was an absolute BANGER back in the day on my PS2 in high school, but after about 5 minutes of sneaking around every mission turned into this:

BREAKING: Red Has Never Seen “Braveheart”

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What. In the actual. Fuck. I learned this ten minutes ago and am still astounded. How does this slip through the cracks. Even if a buddy or Dad/Uncle/Brother/Cousin never sits you down to watch it, “Braveheart” is internationally and ubiquitously revered and is on cable constantly.

Now I’ve seen a bunch of these revelations on Twitter, etc. recently and to be honest I don’t believe all of them. I’d say these admissions are 50% real and 50% for shock value. However, important to the story, is that Red is not a troll. Just doesn’t have it in him. When he is participating in any kind of sarcasm, it is laid on thick and generally with a generous amount of malice. It is also usually aimed at yours truly. So we should assume that our fearless leader has indeed never seen the 1994 classic starring and directed by top notch star and raging anti-semite Mel Gibson.

Not entirely sure where to go from here. I’ll probably just throw invites on his calendar for every Saturday afternoon until he finally breaks down and watches it. I just know that as we are driven towards the precipice of 30, time is running out to right this wrong.

 

-Joey B

P.S – Big Z, I need to speak with you.

Friday Afternoon Grab Bag

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I have ten minutes at work to kill so let’s go.

-I initially disagreed with Mattes’ blog about Dwayne Allen but then I really concentrated on exactly how much we are paying him and I am now enraged. What I texted him, and what I’ll share with you, is that you kind of have to compare his role on the team and contract to players of equals roles and their deals. My example was James Devlin, who lead blocks on just about every significant run play (I think I heard last week the Pats go with more 2 back sets than just about every other team) and now has added catching a key pass every now and again to his repertoire. He also makes a little more (in pro athlete terms) than a quarter of what Allen makes. Fuck that. Allen contributes significantly as a blocking tight end but not 4x of James Devlin significant.

-On the other hand, I respectfully disagree with the assessment of our pass rush. If you recall the hey day of the Pats dynasty, The D relied on a front seven that could hurry the hell out of a quarterback, forcing bad throws and picks (sup Ty Law and Asante Samuel) (No “sup” for you Ellis Hobbs III). We didn’t really fill up the stat sheet back then with sacks either. I think we are doing the same thing nowadays. Adrian Clayborn, for example, seems to be somewhere near the quarterback on a lot of significant pass plays. I’m fine where we’re at right now.

-I feel like there hasn’t been any press yet about “The Sisters Brothers”, a western that stars Gyllenhaal, C. Reilly, Phoenix, and Ahmed, among others. It looks like the shit.

-I’ve tried to get into “Big Mouth” the animated show by Nick Kroll and his childhood friend Andrew Goldberg about puberty and jerking off but just can’t. I guess it’s one of those litmus test shows like “Rick and Morty”, you either get it or you don’t.

-Khabib and Conor will both be suspended from the 15th to the 25th, when it will be decided if they will be suspended indefinitely pending an investigation. You can count on the indefinite suspension. Bob Bennett, the Commissioner of the NSAC is considered one of the more reasonable Commissioners and I don’t think he even can pass up an opportunity to show his power and self-importance. This could take awhile.

-Lewis vs. Cormier for the title at UFC 230 is the fight we deserve right now. I mean leeeet’s fuckin go. Should be a fun one. Sucks about Nate vs. Poirier though. I’d say the event itself nets out even. If both were still on, this would be a can’t-miss card.

-No word on the final fate of Zubair Tughukov, I’m thinking a suspension at this point.

-I know I’m forgetting something….

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-O YA, THE YANKEES SUUUUUUCKKKK HAHAHAHA. O boy. Poor trash bags from the 5 burroughs with nothing to be proud of anymore. If you are in the tri-state area next couple weeks bottle some tears for me. Go Sox, indeed.

 

BREAKING: Warner Bros. Chooses James Gunn to Write and Direct Next Suicide Squad Film

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james gunn

WOW! Talk about coming out of nowhere. And talk about a huge “EFF YOU” to your former employer.

A little over a month ago, we touched upon the James Gunn-Guardians of the Galaxy drama and what it could mean for the Marvel Cinematic Universe going forward. Now, the very same man who was shunned by one comic-book-movie megaverse is being looked at as a savior for the other one.

At this point, details are still few and far between, but as relayed by CinemaBlend it appears as though Gunn is going to be the guy to write and/or direct the next Suicide Squad movie.

Apparently, Gunn will take a different approach to the movie than what we saw in the first one. With the mixed reviews Suicide Squad received, that’s probably not such a bad idea. (I didn’t think it was terrible, per se, but it was definitely disappointing.) Exactly what this new approach entails, only time will tell, but some believe it may be a new take on the story entirely, basically giving Gunn carte blanche.

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How about we start by getting rid of Leto? PLEASE??!!

Some may be perturbed that Warner Bros. could so easily dismiss something that another industry giant saw as inexcusable. But no matter how you feel, it’s an extremely bold move from a studio that has shown in recent months that it’s not afraid to shake things up and go for the gold.

Does this mean Dave Bautista is now definitely out as Drax in the MCU, as he said he would be if Gunn didn’t return? Will the DCEU – or whichever of the still-to-be-determined multiverses Warner Bros. is trying to push – finally have a movie that rivals something in the MCU? Will a bunch of social-media warriors rise up and force Warner Bros. to reconsider?

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Your move, Dave. Whatcha gonna do?

SO MANY EXCITING THINGS COULD HAPPEN.

As I’ve said before, the jury’s out on who Gunn might be as a man, but there’s no doubt that the guy is a helluva movie-maker.

Grab your popcorn, folks. This could be a good one.

Matt Reeves Batman Movie Script is In! But Who’s Playing Bruce Wayne?

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Photo credit: DarkKnightNews.com

This week, we received word that DC’s next Batman movie – which will be titled The Batman – has officially been written and submitted for approval to Warner Bros. And apparently, it’s a hit:

Well that’s a good start!

Even though there hasn’t been even one detail released about the actual story line, writer/director Matt Reeves – known for helming such movies as Cloverfield and two of the most recent Planet of the Apes films – does apparently have a refined and impassioned vision for the film.

As far back as last year, Reeves let us know that this movie will focus much more so on the psyche of Bruce Wayne and the inner turmoil he faces each day, as opposed to the overplayed “good guy vs. bad guy” cookie-cutter approach we see in virtually all superhero movies. That is not to say that the Caped Crusader isn’t going to have to swoop in and save the day at some point – after all, it’s still freakin’ Batman – but it seems as though we’re going to get a bit more insight into the man behind the mask in this one.

As reported yesterday by CinemaBlend, Reeves further fueled such speculation recently when he mentioned a certain classic piece of literature that he’s been looking to for inspiration:

One of the things that I’ve found interesting, just as we’re working on the story, is looking back at Jekyll and Hyde, and the idea of your shadow-self, and the idea of, we are all multiple things. It’s different aspects of who we are, and I think there are times when maybe the surface of Bruce is not really who he is, but that’s his disguise. There are times when Batman’s the disguise, but there are times when his true essence comes out, because by being veiled, a kind of instinctual side comes out that’s very pure.

The point being: this isn’t going to be your typical, run-of-the-mill Batman story, and I’m actually on board with the direction Reeves seems to be taking the film.

But rather than continue to project about something for which we have so little to go off of, I am going to speculate about exactly who should play Bruce in the movie.

Contrary to what some may believe, Ben Affleck still hasn’t officially said he’s done playing the role. After checking into a rehab facility in late August, for the third time in recent years, many believed that it was pretty much over for him – not just in the DCEU but perhaps Hollywood in general. However, it’s been reported that after successfully completing 30 days in rehab, Affleck was seen at Warner Bros. studios on Wednesday, with what is believed to be a script of The Batman in hand.

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Maaaaaybe we haven’t seen the last of Ben after all.

Does this mean he’s definitely back in? Absolutely not. But is it a sign that we could potentially see Affleck as Bruce Wayne at least one more time? It could be.

For what it’s worth, I have actually enjoyed Affleck’s portrayal of The World’s Greatest Detective much more so than I ever thought I would. I would actually endorse the idea of bringing him back for the role, as long as he seemed truly committed and willing to accept Reeves’s vision.

But just in case that’s not in the cards, here’s a quick look at my top candidates to replace him and step in as the next Bruce, if need be:

Jon Hamm

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I’m not going to take credit for coming up with this one, as rumors connecting the 47-year-old to a leading role as Batman have been floating out there for quite some time. Hamm has not been bashful whatsoever regarding his interest in such a role, but he’s also quick to point out how he’s not had one concrete conversation with anyone regarding any serious offers to do so. It seems as though this is simply the product of fanboy-fueled Internet dreams, but maybe it could actually become a reality. He’s got Bruce’s charm and good looks, and there’s no doubt he can kick some ass. He may need to tone down his excellent comedic chops to play the vapid, empty vessel that is Bruce Wayne, but we know that won’t be an issue with his incredible range. He could definitely pull it off. And most importantly, he really wants to.

Armie Hammer

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One of Hollywood’s biggest rising stars has been mentioned by some as a good candidate for the role. After first coming onto the scene in 2010’s The Social Network, Hammer has continued to impress with pretty much every role he’s taken on since. In fact, just between his respective supporting roles in J. Edgar and Call Me by Your Name, Hammer has won 13 different awards. Due to the heavy nature of both films, he shouldn’t have any trouble taking on the darker, more intimate elements that we are expected to see in Reeves’s film. He also already starred next to the DCEU’s maybe-still-current-but-we-don’t-know-yet Superman, Henry Cavill, in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and was The Lone Ranger in Disney’s 2013 take on the classic tale. His resume is heavy in both drama and action, making him seem like an almost too perfect fit.

Bradley Cooper

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For a guy known for being a comedic actor during the early portion of his career, Cooper has dabbled a bit in the action world over the past few years. While I wouldn’t really consider 2010’s The A-Team as an “action” flick, he did take on the role of Chris Kyle in American Sniper and excelled. Much like Bruce Wanye, the character of Kyle was also forced to deal with immense internal strife throughout the entirety of the film. And while he technically was only the voice of a CGI-created raccoon in the Guardians of the Galaxy films, he did once audition for the part of Green Lantern, so like Hamm we already know he’s a comic book guy. (And apparently he couldn’t resist from reading the script at the audition in a Batman-esque voice, so he’s already got an obvious affinity for The Caped Crusader). He also already has that inherent douchey, rich-guy look about him. He just looks like a trust-fund baby, and I’d totally buy into him as Bruce.

John Krasinski

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That’s right. From office prankster to Gotham’s protector, Krasinski is my sneaky and top choice to play the role. If you’ve seen A Quiet Place, it’s obvious that he can play the role of protector. And while I’ve yet to check out Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan, Krasinski has been getting rave reviews as the ass-kicking CIA operative. Though it still might be tough for some to see him as anything other than ole Jim Halpert, I think the DCEU would absolutely hit it right out of the park by attempting to make this one happen.

We still have a long way to go before production starts, which is expected to happen some time around Summer 2019, and a lot can change before this time. But it’s still fun to speculate in the meantime.

Who do you think should play Bruce? What do you think of my choices? Let us know in the comments below or The 300s Facebook page!