Tag: San Diego

The Red Sox Can Pay Mookie Betts $420 Million or Trade Him for Pennies on the Dollar. Clocks Ticking

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I love watching Mookie Betts play. He is one of the best homegrown talents the Red Sox have ever had. Betts has been insistent on reaching free agency, much to the chagrin of the Sox, but I don’t blame him one bit. Know your worth and go out there and get it. If I’m John Henry though, do I really want to pay Mookie $420 Million?? That is a lot of Schrute Bucks.

The answer seems more and more likely to be no he does not.

I don’t know if Mookie wants to be here or not and it’s not really fair to look at contract negotiations and decipher one way or another, especially with both sides so far apart in total dollars. Sure you’d prefer a guy who loves Boston over someone who hates the fishbowl mentality of playing at Fenway, but thats not even my concern. My concern is this contract becoming a disaster relatively quickly. 12 years is a long, long time. We laugh when we look back at the Albert Pujols Angels contract, the second A-Rod Yankees contract,the Giancarlo Stanton contract, the Miguel Cabrera contract etc. etc. Now of course you’re paying for the front half of that contract where guys are racking up MVPs, Triple Crowns, and ideally World Series rings, but a 12 year deal would have the Sox paying Mookie through his age 40 season. How many 40 year old baseball players do you know?

And Dennis Quaid doesn’t count.

Again, it’s not my money so if the Sox want to break the bank then have at it, but the team is already mired in a (self imposed) payroll mess because they can’t (read: won’t) foot the bill.

Betts is an absolute stud and although he had a bit of a down year last year, he is only 2 years removed from an MVP season. I just worry about a 5’9″ guy making $35M a year until I have kids old enough to be wearing their Sox jerseys to MIDDLE SCHOOL. The Sox are in a similar situation right now with another homegrown talent limping to the finish line in Dustin Pedroia. I don’t want to speak ill of a fellow short guy, but Pedroia’s body just could not hold up and the Sox are now on the hook for a player who sadly may never take the field again.

So should the Red Sox trade Mookie? Well if John Henry didn’t show his poker face worse than Teddy KGB with a box of Oreos then yea maybe.

But the entire league knows the Sox are looking to unload Mookie and shed salary so they are getting lowballed by everyone. Granted a lot of the best deals that get done are the ones you never hear of in the press, but the best offer we’ve heard, according to the San Diego Union Tribune, is with the Padres for Wil fucking Myers plus “two young major leaguers and at least one prospect.”

“Myers led the Padres with a 4.4 combined WAR (wins above replacement) in 2017 and ’18 but last season endured significant slumps and finished with a .239/.321/418 batting line and -0.3 WAR.

Betts posted a 33.8 WAR over the past four seasons, second in the major leagues to Mike Trout’s 35.5 in that span.” 

Oh and eating at least half of Myers’ contract to boot? PASS.

God damnit. Always look for the blue check mark kids.

Ken Rosenthal also reported something similar with names like Manuel Margot and Kirby Yates thrown in.

Margot is a 25 years old centerfielder who hit .238 with 12 HRs, 37 RBI, a 3.04 OBP and 1.8 WAR last year. Solid. Kirby Yates (who the Sox actually drafted in 2005) is a legit reliever, was an All-Star last year, and had 41 saves and a 1.19 ERA with a 15.0 SO9 (K’s per 9 innings). However, he’s also going to be 33 before the start of the season and had 15 career saves in the 5 seasons prior to last year. MLB relievers rise and fall like the ocean so I’m not exactly dying to have one be the linchpin of a Mookie trade.

I would rather ride out the season and take one last shot at a World Series with a still borderline elite Red Sox roster (if healthy) and risk losing Mookie for nothing rather than dumping him for 30 cents on the dollar.

Now all the Sox need is a manager…

Phillip Rivers Just Phillip Rivers’d Melvin Gordon

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ProFootballTalk – “They’re going to get a lot of work,” Rivers said, via the Los Angeles Times. “It certainly is a deep position for us, and those guys all love to play and work hard. We love Melvin, but we’re going to go with what we’ve got. It’s a pretty dang good group.”

I know what I’m about to say is not a popular opinion in the upper right-hand quadrant of the United States. I know we had quite the little rivalry with the formerly San Diego Chargers in the mid-to-late 2000’s. LT even talked some shit about our professionalism, giving way to a decent amount of New England hatred for the greatest back of our time, and maybe ever. I also know we don’t take kindly to cocky, fiery athletes that are not our own. It’s a contraction we own and even feed off of.

But I fucking love Phillip Rivers.

From his uber passionate style of play to his toughness – I believe it was the 06′ AFC title game he played with a torn ACL – to his weird ass hobby of having a thousand kids to him being the most underrated quarterback ever in my opinion. I just fuckin love the guy.

Most of all I love that Phillip can talk. That. Shit. Whether it’s about an opponent or someone in his organization. Man woman or child. Directly, or in this case, in the style of a passive aggressive brick, he is the best to do it of his generation. He reminds me A TON of Josh Beckett in this way. I’m good, this is the way I feel, so fuck you. That’s it.

And so here we are. Phillip Rivers has had a very successful individual and, for the most part, team-related career with countless teammates playing a role. That includes the best of the best and the just ok of backfield-mates. So do you think for one second he’s going to just let it slide that some hotshot RB is going to hold out and not let the guy know that Ol’ Papa Rivs considers him 1000% replaceable? Naht Toooooday. Not in this lifetime.

I actually can imagine this was the last thing Melvin Gordon had to consider before he decided to hold out. “There is no going back with Phillip. Him and his 23 kids are going to have my ass.” And he was right. He was always right.

The hardest part of digesting this whole situation is deciding what is the funniest aspect. It’s one of two:

1.) That you KNEW Phillip Rivers was going to speak on it, and even knowing so, it didn’t take away from how magical what he said was. He fucking delivered in spades.
2.) This is probably a solvable situation and that means Gordon is going to have to come back into that locker room, look Rivers in the eyes, and either say absolutely nothing or maybe even apologize. That’s his team kid.

So hate me if you want, o readers. I’ll be a Phillip Rivers guy as long as he’s slangin balls with the weirdest motion this side of Nantucket and cussing out anyone and everyone he sees fit. He’s just #goodforforball.
-Joey B

Former Chargers GM Says Trading Eli Manning Was the Highlight of His Career. Respect the Spite

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Yahoo – In 2004, the New York Giants and the Los Angeles Chargers made a trade that would forever change the course of both franchises. Moments after the Chargers selected Eli Manning with the first pick in the NFL draft, the team traded him to the Giants for Philip Rivers…

“[The trade] was the most satisfying moment for me in my career and I really mean that. I would say that if I was ever fortunate to win a Super Bowl, I’m sure it would’ve trumped that, but I don’t know that. I gotta tell you there was a lot of highs and lows in the business, but that moment was the greatest high for me as an executive for an organization.”

As Smith explains, the deal netted the Chargers with enough draft picks to select Shawne Merriman and kicker Nate Kaeding. Both guys played big roles in the team’s success from 2004 to 2009. More importantly, though, Smith was happy he took some of the power away from Manning and his agent, Tom Condon.

“When I heard emphatically from Tom Condon and Archie Manning ‘don’t take us,’ that hit me — call me a traditionalist — it hit me the wrong way,” Smith said. “I decided I was not going to play this game with them and I flipped it, in my view, to an unknown where they didn’t know what I’m going to do or how this is going to unfold — they really didn’t.”

I hated the Chargers growing up. Hated them. Shawne Merriman was an arrogant dickhead who could dish it but couldn’t take it when the Pats did his Lights Out dance in San Diego after an upset. LaDanian Tomlinson was the greatest runningback I’ve ever seen, but all he did was complain about how “classy” the Patriots were. All while sitting on the sidelines in his Darth Vader outfit while Philip Rivers played on a torn ACL. So aside from the Peyton Manning Colts and the Rex Ryan Jets the mid 2000s Chargers were my most hated football team.

BUT, I now LOVE AJ Smith. The architect of one of the most hated teams of my youth is an A+ grudge holder and I have to respect the spite. Oh whats that Eli, you don’t want me to draft you No. 1 overall in the NFL? In fact you won’t even play for my team if I do draft you? Well fuck you because now I’m doing it.

AJ Smith wasn’t going to let some rich kid and the Manning Mafia tell him how to do his job. I bet he would have ate the draft pick and let Manning sit the year out if he didn’t get the trade offer he wanted. Just spite that whole family because you ain’t John Elway, kid.

Now obviously this trade was the rare trade that worked out swimmingly for both sides. The Chargers got Philip Rivers and a boatload of picks that turned into franchise cornerstones and the Giants got Eli and 2 Super Bowls (kill me) out of it. Big Z made the point that the Giants might actually have won more Super Bowls with Rivers under center because aside from two month long hot streaks by Eli Manning, Rivers is clearly the better player. Rivers has a better career Completion %, more TDs, 60+ less INTs, and a better QB Rating.

I’d still rather have two SB rings, but I respect the shit out of AJ Smith for deriving so much pleasure out of something so small. An early candidate for The 300s 2019 Hater of the Year.

The Manny Machado Contract is All a Matter of Perspective

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After I heard about the massive $300 Million contract the Padres gave Manny Machado I tweeted that how you view it is all a matter of perspective. How you view this deal is a direct reflection on where you are in life.

If you’re a young dumb college kid then you drag an athlete for going to a team that in all likelihood will struggle to even make the playoffs. Why would a competitor ever want to do that? Whereas a 30 year old me goes in a much different direction. You’re going to pay me more money than anybody in the history of the sport to go live in sunny San Diego?

Give me the goddamn pen right now. I would move to California tonight for even a moderate bump in compensation because I am an adult with real world problems and student loans to pay. Grow up, 20-year old me.

With that being said, Manny Machado ruined Dustin Pedroia’s career so I hope he goes the way of Robinson Cano and is never heard from again spending the next decade playing in front of half empty stadiums on a 70 win team.

The 300s 2018 Fantasy Football All Cock Tease Team

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Welcome, welcome to our awards. Before we begin I’m going to briefly kick it to our team on tonight’s red carpet…

Thank Joey! Here we see Founder Red wearing a Lakers jersey with camo cargo shorts. I’m really digging his ironic choice that is clearly a protest to our recent cooperation with North Korea. Back to the studio…

Thanks guys! Now before we proceed I should probably explain what these awards actually are about since nobody fucking knows.

We have all picked a bust or 12 throughout our fantasy football seasons, however most are of either the “reach” or “hard on” variety. A “reach”, as is well known, is a player you pick a bit too high, possibly motivated by the fear of someone else picking him. A “hard on” pick, for lack of a more enlightened term, would refer to players that we just personally really like without a ton evidence as to why and that simply don’t work out.

These awards, however, celebrate the “cock teases” – players who are picked at a good time given their value, normally put up good numbers relative to that selection point, yet completely fuck us. They don’t buy us dinner first either, just bend us over the analogous  10, 12, or 16 team table and fuck us.

So without further ado, as composed by and contributed to by our talented staff, I give you The 300s 2018 All Cock Tease Team:

QB: Jimmy Garoppolo, San Francisco 49ers
Red: I was ready for Jimmy G to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes that was my 2017 fantasy season, but in his third game the most handsome ACL in the league exploded and I was stuck with Matt Stafford at QB the rest of the way.

 

RB1: Jordan Howard, Chicago Bears
Mattes: Now, a lot of people might give me crap for drafting Howard in the second round of a PPR draft. First, I’d like to respond by saying it’s only a half-point league, and, second, the guy also had two-straight 1,200-plus-yard seasons and nine touchdowns last year on a bad team. I – like many – expected the Bears to be much-improved this year (which they certainly are), and I also believed new head coach Matt Nagy when he said he’d finally get Howard more involved in the passing game. Then came along Tarik Cohen, and there were also five games this year in which Howard averaged under 2.6 yards a carry. In fact, Cohen actually ended up finishing over FOURTY spots ahead of Howard in the overall rankings this year. Picked the wrong guy, I guess, huh?

 


RB2: Le’veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers
GUEST CONTRIBUTION! Patty Blackouts: I mean what is there to say besides he’s a seflish fuck who passed up 850k a week to sit out and try and protect his body to try and get a long term deal. Took him 4th overall thinking he’d show up sometime around end of September or October and nope just sat out all season sending cryptic tweets so you’d think he was going to report and next ya know he’s playing pickup basketball games at the local Y. I hope no one pays him what he wants and he regrets passing up the 14.5 mill he would have been paid this season by signing the franchise tag. But yes I’m bitter because  I used my first overall pick on him in fantasy got the same amount of points out of him as he did paychecks this season….0!

I hope he gets hurt in the next preseason.

Douchebag.

WR1: Quincy Enunwa, Goddam Jets
Red: No one, and I mean no one in my fantasy league watches more Jets games than me as the Mrs. is a huge fan. So watching a team that bad I was determined to derive some value out of it, which is exactly what Quincy Enunwa was going to do for me. Enunwa was going to be the steal of the draft as he put up 15, 12 and 10 points in 3 of the first 4 games, but then his season was derailed by various injuries. He cracked 6 points just once after September…

 

WR2: Golden Tate, Detroit Lions/Philadelphia Eagles
Joey B: Tate started the season as Matthew Stafford’s #1 option in what is normally a high flying Detroit offense. To that end, he kicked off the season with games of  17, 15, 10 and TWENTY FUCKING NINE. After that he completely shit the bed, probably became an asshole in the locker room because he realized his name is fucking Golden, and then got traded to Philly where he had one game of 20, coincidentally the only other time he’s seen the end zone since September, and seemingly is hated by all 12 of Philly’s playoff-ready QBs.

 

TE: Gronk
Joey B: I always pick Gronk wayyyy too high because he plays a position where all of 4-5 guys give you tremendous amounts of points and even among those guys he usually stands out. But this year, as the world knows, was different. He’s just broken and I’m just sad.

 

Flex1: Jarvis Landry, Cleveland Browns
Mattes: Landry wasn’t without a few big games of his own this year. Also like Cousins, Landry was a guy whom I expected to make a huge splash with a new team this season, but instead was super inconsistent. Yes, he had to deal with learning how to play with two different QBs this year, but remember that Baker Mayfield has been playing since Week 3. In the 13 games he’s played with Mayfield, Landry has put up single-digit totals in seven of them. For a guy who averaged 99 catches per season before this year, his mark of 72 through 16 games this year is incredibly disappointing.

 

Flex2: Chris Hogan, New England Patriots
Big Z: With Brandin Cooks in LA and Julian Edelman sidelined for the first four games of the season, I was certain Chris Hogan was a steal in the fifth round. He would be one of Tom Brady’s top targets the first month of the season, and hopefully stay in the mix even after Edelman returned.

Hogan scored two touchdowns in Week 2, but he wouldn’t find the end zone again for three months. By that time I had already dropped him and moved on. Just another cautionary tale of putting too much stock in to a Patriots WR/RB for fantasy football purposes.

 

D/ST: San Diego Los Angeles Chargers
Joey B: With Joey Bosa and company up front and some decent pieces in the secondary, I thought the “pressure creates turnovers” rule would get me some points on D. Instead Bosa got hurt and the Chargers are last in return yards allowed.

 

Kicker: Dan Bailey, Minnesota Vikings
Big Z: Drafting and picking up kickers in fantasy football is a bit of a crap shoot. You just try to pick up a guy who kicks for a team with a good, but not great, offense. If he plays in warm weather or a dome, even better. That’s why I love NFC South kickers and why I will never draft the Bills kicker.

Dan Bailey had a rough 2017 and got released by Dallas. But he was at one time the most accurate kicker in NFL history. When he got picked up by Minnesota, I thought he would be a good guy to take a flier on. Accurate kicker on a good, not great, team that plays its home games in a dome.

Bailey is 20/27 on field goals for the Vikes this year and his 2018 may be worse than his 2017. Yikes. God help the Vikings special teams coach

 

*BONUS: Mid-Season Pick Up Fist Fucker of the Year*

WR: Marquez Valdes-Scantling, Green Bay Packers

Red: MVS was one of the few guys I was first to the punch on in my league and he looked like a STUD. 6’4″ with 4.3 speed and Aaron Rodgers throwing him the ball? Yes please. After a quiet start to the season MVS blew onto the scene with a 4 week stretch of 13+ points. He would post 6+ points just once the rest of the way…

 

 

 

Eric Hosmer and the Padres Lost on a Walkoff Infield Pop Up and Its Hilarious

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Okay just to set this clip up, its important to remember that the Padres’ Eric Hosmer is a FOUR time Gold Glove winner at first base. Anddd roll the clip.

This is an error that I would make on my beer league softball team, not one a guy making $144 Million should commit. Woof. In the end though the jokes on us because Hosmer is still dating NESN royalty.

Pour One Out for Short Guy Hall of Famer Darren Sproles Who is Out for the Season

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ESPN – Philadelphia Eagles running back Darren Sproles tore an ACL and broke an arm on the same play Sunday, sources told ESPN’s Chris Mortensen and Adam Schefter. Sproles is having surgery on his arm Monday and will require surgery on his knee, sources said. His season is over.

After an “awkard plant and hit” Darren Sproles broke his arm and tore his ACL on the same play yesterday, ending the 34-year-old runningback’s season and potentially his career. Listed at 5’6″ and 190 pounds, Sproles was an absolute monster and has been a go to guy since 2008 when he was with the team formerly known as San Diego. Then he was paired up in the same backfield as Reggie Bush with New Orleans for 3 years where he scored 21 TDs (+1 on a punt return). Then in Philly for the last 3+ seasons where he scored 14 more TDs before going down this Sunday.

For his career Sproles has 532 receptions for 4,600+ yards and 30 TDs with 3,300+ rushing yards and 22 rushing TDs plus another 9 TDs on returns. If you had to design a passing down back this is your guy.

If it is the end (rumors were he had planned to retire after this season) then its been a hell of a career and someone the rest of us short guys LOVED to watch play. He’ll go down in the Short Guy Hall of Fame with the likes of Muggsy Bogues, Doug Flutie, Isaiah Thomas, and Dustin Pedroia.

Philip Rivers Commutes to LA from San Diego in His $200K SUV. Wait, What?

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Yahoo – Rivers and his wife, Tiffany, decided not to uproot their family (they have eight children, ranging in age from 2 years old to high school freshman), for at least the Chargers’ first year in Los Angeles, with Rivers deciding to see how he could handle the ride. Enter his man cave on wheels. In a story by the San Diego Union-Tribune’s Kevin Acee, we learn that Rivers has invested in a custom SUV – a rolling film room, if you will – that will make his drive to and from work productive.

Hooold the fucking phone, wait a minute, the San Diego Chargers moved to Los Angeles this season, but apparently Philip Rivers did not move with them?

So this dude is making a 2-3 hour commute EACH WAY every day so he can continue to live in San Diego? My uncle’s girlfriend used to commute to Manhattan from fucking Pennsylvania taking planes, trains and buses to get there, but she wasn’t making $14 million per year. I’m pretty sure Phil could find a suitable home a little bit closer to his place of employment.

I guess if you’re a stubborn dude and just want to left alone at your house like we all do, might as well make the most of your commute. And creating an entertainment center to watch “game film” in the backseat ain’t a bad way to spend $200K.

I would love to get taxied to and from work every day, but I’m a poor person so I have to drive myself. But if I could sit in the back and ride along can you imagine the amount of time that would free up for me? I sure as shit wouldn’t be working from the backseat though, I’ll tell ya that. Really putting his ear to the grindstone during rush hour traffic. Phil’s prob just crushing episodes of Narcos back there. LOL celebrities, they really are just like us.

Los Angeles Chargers Coach Thinks He’s Still in San Diego; Cue the BASEketball Reference

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Hilarious. The team hasn’t even been in LA for a week and the new guy in charge just called them the wrong city. Rough first presser for Anthony Lynn. Thats what ya get for moving 2 hours south, Chargers! You’re basically the same exact thing to anyone not from California. That’s a reasonable game day tailgate commute. Takes me 2 hours to get home from a Patriots game and I live in Boston. But I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t post this classic clip from BASEketball because it is the same EXACT situation. Trey Parker and Matt Stone predicting the future from 19 years ago, who would’ve guessed.

Chargers Moving to Los Angeles; Are You Happy Now NFL?

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la-chargers

Hilarious. The market that the NFL held over owner’s heads for two decades as the white whale. The market that subsequently drew middling interest and awful TV ratings with just one team last year, now has TWO goddamn teams. As a friend of mine so eloquently put it, this is like Atlanta having two hockey teams. There’s just no need for it.

But as you all know, I love unnecessary shit. Add in the fact that the Chargers will be playing in an MLS stadium for the next two years (which seats 27,000 people) and its even better. I mean, if nothing else, this means I need to buy Madden again this year right? I’ve never played a professional football game in the house that Landon Donovan built.

screen-shot-2017-01-13-at-2-39-32-pm

Granted the Rams were a god awful team last year, but the people of LA were not exactly clamoring for ANOTHER NFL team. One of these teams better get real good real quick, or its going to be a lot of empty seats and a lot of Stephen A Smith rants on why the NFL needs to abandon Los Angeles, again.

stephena

Now for the coup de gras….the Raiders to Vegas. We got teams moving left and right, shit hole stadiums falling apart all while the Raiders are still playing on a BASEBALL field. Seriously they share a stadium with Billy Beane. Thats just not the 70s Raiders everyone talks about. No, they need to be in a city of debauchery and Sin City has that in…wait for it…spades. I’ll see myself out.

vegasbabyvegas