Tag: Washington

The Bruins Got Smoked Last Night But Marchand Beat The Bag Out of Someone

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Boston.com – ...the Stanley Cup champion Washington Capitals opened their title defense with a 7-0 thrashing of the Boston Bruins on Wednesday night.

After watching the franchise’s first Stanley Cup banner ascend to the rafters, T.J. Oshie opened the scoring just 24 seconds in, and Evgeny Kuznetsov scored the first of his two goals 1 1/2 minutes later to get the rout off to a fast start


Optimistic Joey B here with the first Bruins take of the year. I’m not going to sugar coat things too much. Getting shellacked 7-0 including 2 goals in the first minute of the fucking game is not a great look. To the defending champs, in my opinion, is an even worse one. This is the preeminent team to beat in the National Hockey League and we get blanked. Hopefully this is just a “wake the fuck up” game and the B’s can get their engines revved moving forward. Last note before I move on: I didn’t see much of it so I don’t know how many goals against Zdeno Chara’s corpse was on the ice for but let’s hope this can’t be easily pinned on him or there will be calls for his head pretty soon. (Editor’s Note: That is a strong to quite strong take on the 7 footer.)

To the positives and my headline, Brad Marchand beat the shit out of someone. Now, you can view this is kind of like when the season starts in baseball and a player strikes out four times but you are able to say, objectively, they had “good at bats”. Took some good cuts. Didn’t chase a couple you might have expected them to. Made the pitcher work. So, although we did indeed get big brothered by the defending champs, at least we had Noseface doing Noseface things and bloodying some guy up. It’s a reason to stay optimistic and a sign good things lay ahead for our squad.

Not all hope is lost my friends. Boston has kept the Bruins, so Bruins will keep Boston.

-Joey B.

P.S: Deadspin’s headline was something like “Brad Marchand Is Back To Being a Prick” and it made me SQUEAL with joy. Sorry for partying, Deadspin.

Apparently Jon Gruden’s Son, Deuce Gruden, is the Goddamn Hulk

By on • ( 1 Comment )

Look at that picture! Just solar eclipsing the human gun show himself, Ed Hochuli. Incredible. I don’t know how I missed this, but the NFL is just littered with Grudens and last night we got all 3 on one screen.

We got the OG Jon Gruden up in the booth on Monday Night Football of course, we got his brother the former Arena Football legend Jay Gruden coaching the R-Words and then to my utter dismay we have Jon Gruden’s son, Deuce, working as a strength coach for Washington. Plot twist though; he is the goddamn hulk.

How was this 5’6″ bodybuilder with the last name Gruden not on my watch list? I feel like I should get an internet demerit for missing this. But, make no mistake I am all in on Deuce Gruden now. I am fascinated by this kid. Imagine growing up with Chucky as your dad back in his prime as the Raiders coach? No wonder this kid is a machine.

RGIII and Santana Moss are Beefing Over…..Mike Shanahan?

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – Robert Griffin III celebrated when the Washington Redskins fired coach Mike Shanahan, former teammate Santana Moss said. However, Moss told a local radio station, Griffin’s giddiness hurt him in the end. Griffin denies having done so and, via Twitter on Tuesday, told Moss that “to openly lie about me is a betrayal.”

If I’m Robert Griffin ya know what I’m saying to Santana Moss? Fuck you bro. Seriously. So RGIII denies Santana Moss’ claim below that Griffin celebrated when Shanahan got fired by the R-words.

“When the whole thing went about, we hear that Mike Shanahan’s not coming back the next year, then we hear the quarterback like, ‘Hey. Mm-hmm,'” Moss told The Fan. “Like, basically saying that, ‘Hey, you got me out of here not playing last year, the last few games, then that’s what happens. You get fired.”

Griffin SHOULD have celebrated. Shanahan fucking RUINED Griffin’s career. After being the second overall pick in 2012, playing at a record setting level and winning Rookie of the Year, Griffin was poised for an exciting and game changing career. Then after hurting his knee in the playoffs Shanahan’s the guy running his franchise QB back out into a game on a shaky knee that he should not have been playing on; especially not as a mobile QB.

Not surprisingly Griffin completely fucks his knee up and his career is basically over after that as he’s never the same. So if I’m RGIII I’m dancing on Mike Shanahan’s grave when he gets fired a year later. Especially if I’m now reduced to playing pickup ball at the YMCA like a washed up high school workout warrior.

My advice? Embrace the hate Robert. Blow up Mike Shanahan and Santana Moss’ spot. People would respect that. Hell maybe thats what gets you back in the league because its definitely not your lightning rod politics that are keeping you out of the league. Develop a bad boy reputation, embrace the haters. No pressure no diamonds.

Remember that Rob. I’d watch out if I was Santana though, RGIII isn’t even subtweeting anymore. The gloves are clearly off now.

For one of the most exciting players of the last 10 years, RGIII just cannot catch a break. #FreeRGIII

Now THAT Was a Game 7

By on • ( Leave a comment )

What. A. Game.

Now that was a goddamn Game 7. That my friends is what we in the business call an emotional roller coaster. Isaiah doing Isaiah things, Marcus Smart coming back from the dead to hit a couple 3’s and play his usual ferocious defense, and of course Kelly “Maple Jordan” Olynyk.

Seriously, holy shit, the awkward Canadian 7 footer just carried the Celtics to the Eastern Conference Finals with 26 points off the bench in Game 7. The guy was all awkward euro steps and scoop shots while consistently draining the 3 ball all night.

I have to admit I have given Olynyk my fair share of shit this season so I did not see this coming. I don’t think anyone did. Danny Ainge hoped for it, if only to get a 1-day reprieve of people reminding him he drafted Oynyk over this guy:

Giannis Antetokounmpo. The Greek Freak. But I digress.

Celtics were up, they were down, leading by double digits late in the fourth, only to see the Wizards claw back on the shoulders of Bradley Beal. Seriously Beal is an absolute baller who was putting the fear of God in me down the stretch. That guy can hit from just about anywhere. No thanks to John Wall, who seemingly used up all his turbo power in Game 6 because he ate a dick down the stretch shooting 0-11 over the final 19 minutes.

I laughed.

I cried

I nearly smashed my TV.

But thats what great teams do, they fall down and then they pick themselves back up.

And not to mention WE GET THE NBA DRAFT LOTTERY TONIGHT (Thank you Brooklyn). I feel like a kid with one Jewish parent and one Catholic parent and I get to celebrate BOTH Hanukkah AND Christmas. The best of both worlds. On back to back nights. Unless the Celtics get fisted by the ping pong balls again. Hell, even Markelle Fultz wants it to happen.

See you Wednesday night, Bron Bron.

Celtics Continue the Trend and Blowout Wizards. Now One Win Away from Eastern Conference Finals

By on • ( Leave a comment )


It really is insane how neither the Celtics nor the Wizards can win a game against each other unless they’re at home. For whatever reason these teams are both 9-0 against each other when at home and 0-9 when on the road this season. And its not even close.

  • Game 1 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 123 – Wizards 111
  • Game 2 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 129 -Wizards 119 (OT)
  • Game 3 (Wizards at home)
    • Celtics 89 -Wizards 116
  • Game 4 (Wizards at home)
    • Celtics 102 -Wizards 121
  • Game 5 (Celtics at home)
    • Celtics 123 -Wizards 101

The closest game there was decided by 10 points with the largest deficit being a 27 point blowout by the Wizards in Washington. This series is literally defining home court advantage. Home court/home field advantage is such an exaggerated thing in sports most of the time. Sure in baseball you get the right of last refusal in the bottom of the 9th, but most sports it typically doesn’t make a huge difference. But my god am I glad the Celtics will host a potential Game 7 in Boston. It seems destined to get there. I don’t know how teams can routinely trade blowouts, you just don’t ever see it. The Celtics ran the Wizards out of the goddamn gym last night though and I think I know why.

Can’t let down Mr. Kraft and the entire Patriots organization when they’re sitting front row.

Avery Bradley had 25 in the first half for christ sake. The guy was on a roll, hip pointers and all, legit throwing up HEAT CHECKS.

Even Brad Stevens was having a good time. He’ll deny it, but the crowd was chanting “Fuck You Oubre” booing the shit out of Oubre at the line and after he bricked one, what does Stevens do? Sends Olynyk into the game.

And most importantly the Celtics did all of this with Isaiah Thomas having a TERRIBLE game. Just kidding, the dude scored 18 points, but typically the C’s have relied on 30, 40 and 50 point games from THA LITTLE GUY to bail them out.

Now Game 6 is gonna be fun. A total mystery wrapped in an enigma. Celtics could grind one out or they could get blown out again. But come on boys, lets wrap it up and move onto the Eastern Conference Finals so we can get ready for this shit show.

PS – Lets all remember that the Celtics finished with the No. 1 seed and are on the brink of reaching the Eastern Conference Finals AND have the best odds at landing the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft this summer.

Is Kelly Olynyk a Dirty Player? Lets Break It Down.

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Had to address this whole “Kelly Olynyk is a dirty player” storyline thats been gaining steam over the last few days. Look has Olynyk been involved in some scuffles the past couple of years? Sure, but most of them are pretty innocuous. It’s not like he’s going out there socking dudes. For Draymond Green of all people to call Olynyk dirty though is just absurd.

The guy who literally goes around kicking dudes in the DICK is calling our very own Maple Jordan a dirty player.

 

Pot meet kettle. Sit the fuck down Draymond. Even Isaiah said as much when asked about it.

And then Draymond, being the dickhead that he is, clapped back on Isaiah.

Hopefully the C’s pull this Wizard series out and LeBron gets mono or something because I would LOVE to see this matchup in the Finals.

But, back to the point at hand. Is Olynyk a great player? No. Is he an awful player? No. Is he wildly frustrating at times? Yup. But do I think of him as a dirty player? Trying to be as objective as possible even as a Celtics fan, but I just don’t see it. Lets go through some of the more memorable incidents from the past couple of years.

The time Olynyk blew out Kevin Love’s shoulder in the playoffs:

I still think this is just a case of two gangly white guys getting tangled up and one of their noodle arms getting stuck. Love definitely didn’t see it that way though as he went on to rip Olynyk as a dirty player, thus starting the movement. My ruling? Not dirty. Drink more milk, Kevin.

Kelly Olynyk setting a pick on Kelly Oubre in Game 3

This play is literally a pick, probably more like one of the illegal moving screens that Kevin Garnett made famous, but a pick nonetheless. One that knocks Oubre on his ass. There’s nothing malicious or dirty here. Looks like a young guy in Oubre overreacting to a physical play before going up and tossing Olynyk, getting himself ejected. My ruling? Not dirty. Toughen up, Oubre.

I do have to give props to the Wizards owner Ted Leonsis though, definition of a ride or die boss.

 

Either way, here’s a FOUR MINUTE highlight video of Draymond Green dirty plays.

 

PS – Dirty or not dirty, this did make me laugh though.

LA Rams Hire the Youngest Coach in NFL History and I Love It

By on • ( 1 Comment )

If you wanted to move on from the shit storm that was the Jeff Fisher era AND make a splash in LA, this is how you do it. Hire the youngest coach in NFL history. 30 year old Sean McVay, the offensive coordinator of the Washington R-words, is the new coach of the LA Rams.

Don’t make the mistake of hiring another mediocre coordinator or a guy who’s already been a crappy coach in the past. Inject some new blood, some excitement and a guy who actually has created a great offense and built up a QB in Kirk Cousins. Thats what the Rams needed. God knows Jared Goff needs it. Plus it will be wild to see a guy who looks like a ball boy calling the shots from the sideline.

I *love* wunderkinds, especially in industries that are dominated by old boring guys. Bill Belichick is the best coach in the history of the league and I would take a bullet for him, but he is an old boring guy. If a dude who’s basically the same age as me can succeed as an NFL head coach then that makes all the blood, sweat and tears I’ve poured into Madden over the years all worth it.

ridleymadden

It reminds me of when Theo Epstein was named GM of the Red Sox back in 2002 when he was TWENTY EIGHT! Thats insane. I can barely pay my bills at 28 and I certainly can’t balance a check book and he was managing one of the biggest franchises in all of sports at that age.

So yea, I always root for young guys getting a shot in front office and coaching positions, mainly because it just happens so rarely. Hopefully he pans out better than Josh McDaniels first go as a young head coach in Denver, which blew up in less than 2 years.
Sports are tricky because all of the players will be around his age, if not older, so it can be easy for that to become a distraction. It looks like McVay is already doing his best to combat though, surrounding himself with very experienced coaches to counteract his inexperience, which is smart. He just brought on 70 year old Wade Phillips to be his defensive coordinator. A 30 year old head coach with a 70 year old DC is still a hilarious image to think of. That is a can’t miss TV sitcom. Its too bad the Rams were on Hard Knocks last year because I would watch the shit out of that show.

wadephillipsdancing

The Washington R-Words Live to See Another Day After Latest Report

By on • ( Leave a comment )

021116-50-NFL-Washington-Redskins-OB-PI.vresize.1200.675.high.91

ESPN – A new Washington Post poll found that 90 percent of Native Americans aren’t offended by the Washington Redskins’ nickname and an overwhelming majority consider it an unimportant issue.

Daniel Snyder is definitely just sitting in his office laughing like a maniac rubbing his hands together. “See NFL? Native Americans don’t give a shit what we call our crappy football team?” Reports don’t lie (unless it’s of the Wells variety). Super racist name? Of course. But if they change the name, that will deprive me of referring to them as the Washington R-Words and I’m not ready to give that up just yet. In all seriousness this name should absolutely be changed eventually because it is blatantly racist, but if 90% of Native Americans don’t care, I don’t think people need to push their Irish Guilt onto those that this truly might matter to. Snyder and his politically incorrect collection of trademarks live to see another day.