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Dom

I grew up in Natick, Mass, and was raised on everything Boston. I received a media production degree from Quinnipiac, which has gone under-utilized for years. Now, thanks to my wife, I'll be traveling the world alongside a member of the Unites States Foreign Service, beer in hand, while I finally put some of that college knowledge to use.

Celtics Go 3-1 on West Coast Road Trip to Keep Their Title Hopes Alive

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The C’s finished off their tour of Cali with a dud against a red hot Clippers team after an otherwise successful trip. I said after that Warriors game that if they could rattle off 5-6 wins, I’d be pacified. Well that didn’t happen, but I do have more confidence in this team thanks to the way they performed throughout the trip. This team is going to have issues throughout the rest of the season, and unless they sweep through the rest of the season, I’m always going to have doubts about their chances at winning a title. After all, before all the mayhem that this season has brought, I was convinced this team was going to win it all this year. However, I saw enough on this trip to think that this team is still capable of a title run, despite what all the doubters may say.

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Did they beat an undermanned Warriors team? Yes. Did the defense take an early flight home from LA and forget they still had to play the Clippers? Absolutely. But here’s what I saw outside of that Clippers game. I saw a team that was finally playing together, with key guys stepping up when starters were out. Against the Kings, everyone stepped up down the stretch and fought hard in Kyrie’s absence. People were hustling, diving for balls, making the extra pass, and playing four quarters of basketball. The energy was there.

I understand the middle two games we won weren’t against great teams. The Lakers have been devastated by injuries and an awful GM, but if LeBron is on the court you can’t mail it in. We all know he’s good enough to win games on his own. The Kings would be competing for the 5 seed right now if they were in the East, and have one of the best young backcourts in basketball (De’Aaron Fox is fast as fuck; I didn’t realize just how fast until watching this game). But the Celtics seemed to gain a little swagger back, and it seems like the guys are finally starting to come around on each other. Gordon Hayward seemed to find his shot again. There was a lot to feel positive about. At even with the stinker last night, 3-1 is pretty good. Seriously, who actually thought we’d go 4-0 on this trip? If I remember correctly, we’d only be the fourth team in history to go sweep a California road trip 4-0.

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That having been said, we need to figure out what’s going on with this defense. There are games where they look great, and then there are games where nobody rotates, everyone looks slow, and people like Lou Williams (all 32 years and 6’1″ of him) get to the hoop with ease. That kind of shit can’t happen when you’re playing the Sixers, Bucks or any of the other top teams in the league. We’d play well enough offensively, but 140 points? Ouch. The Celtics somehow rank 5th in the league in Defensive Rating on the season, but over the past 15 games they’re down to a mediocre 16th.

Image result for kyrie irving apology“For me, I think because of how fixated I was on trying to prove other people wrong, I got into a lot of habits that were bad, like reading stuff and reacting emotionally. That’s just not who I am.” – Kyrie Irving

As a fan, this interview with Yahoo Sports was just as important as a winning record on the road trip. Don’t get me wrong, the W’s are great, but Kyrie holding himself accountable is a major step forward to giving me faith in the Celtics as a team. Hopefully the younger guys feel the same way. It’s not easy being Kyrie, and this is exactly the response I wanted after my initial post. Now it’s time for the media to do their part and cut him a little more slack and not take his words out of context (I’m still salty about that “can’t wait to be done with this” nonsense). As Al Horford said in reference to Kyrie and the team bonding on the plane ride:

“He’s the one who got that ball rolling…We spent a good amount of time together, we talked, we laughed, stuff like that. It just happened to be extended. As opposed to an hour or two hours, almost seven hours. You’d think we’d get sick of each other but, actually, it made the plane ride go quicker. We were just hanging out and talking.”

There’s only 14 games left. Time for the final push. Let’s go Green!

PS. Stop shooting Marcus Morris, ya big mook.

Seven Athletes I’d Like to Punch in the Face

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ESPN– “A Birmingham City fan has been jailed for 14 weeks after pleading guilty to assaulting Aston Villa midfielder Jack Grealish during the derby between the sides on Sunday. Paul Mitchell, 27, swung a punch at Grealish when the player’s back was turned after Mitchell ran onto the pitch at Birmingham City’s St. Andrew’s stadium during the Championship match.

Mitchell, from Rubery, Worcestershire, also admitted to invading the pitch and has been banned from attending any football match in the U.K. for 10 years. He was also ordered to pay £350 in fines. The incident happened in the 10th minute of the match between the rivals as Grealish walked away from the stands when the ball went out for a corner. He required no further treatment and went on to score the winning goal for Aston Villa in the second half.”

Now, I’m not generally one for promoting morons running onto the field and streaking and all that jazz. I find it annoying and disruptive to the game, and they rarely do anything exciting aside from getting lit up by security guards (which admittedly can be pretty hilarious). However, if you’re going to do it, you might as well get your moneys worth and punch someone you hate in the face. Did you see the way that guy was celebrating as he was being escorted off the field? He was damn proud of himself, and for that, I’m proud of him too.

The big question becomes, is it worth it? There’s a lot of people I’d like to punch, but not all of those people would I want to spend 3.5 months in jail for on top of a $400 fine and disbarment from attending live games for a decade. In order to risk all that, I’d really have to pick my punches, so to speak. Unfortunately for Paul Mitchell, Grealish got the last laugh as he scored the game winning goal later on in the game, which is admittedly pretty badass on his part. Without any further ado, here’s my list:

7. DAVID PRICE

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For anyone who’s a Sox fan, I would think a lot of people agree with this. Although he may have slightly redeemed himself with the World Series run this year, he still pisses me off a lot. Whether it’s because he’s getting in fights with the legendary Eck, throwing 5 out duds in the playoffs, or gaming hard enough to miss games, he’s as irritating as they come for players are actually important to a team. If he sucked, we could just cut him. But since he’s good enough to want to keep around, I’ll settle with a shot to the jaw.

6. LANE JOHNSON

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I bet he had a lot of fun not winning a Super Bowl this year. This guy’s obsession with the Patriots is hilarious, and while he revels in beating us one time, we can rest easy knowing he’ll never be on a team as good as that Eagles team that won two years ago. He can run his mouth as much as he wants, but if I had a chance, I’d punch that fucking mouth.

5. BRYCE HARPER

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What a frat boy douche. I will admit, there are times in his press conferences that make me laugh, but it’s usually a “what a dumb idiot” kind of laugh. This guy is such a douche he named his dog Swag. If that’s not enough, he’s also the quintessential dipshit bro that describes himself as Hercules and takes 30 minutes to do his hair before games. On top of that, it looks like his jaw was sculpted for punching. I mean, look at that angular monstrosity jammed to the bottom of his mouth just begging for a left hook!

4. NDAMUKONG SUH

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This one is a little tough to put here, mainly because of everyone on this list, he’s the one who would murder me the hardest. However, he does make it because if we were to give me the o’ one punch KO at least I’d be too dead to go to jail and pay a fine. That having been said, dude’s a cheap-shotting asshole who probably shouldn’t be in the league anymore. What else is there to say?

3. LEBRON JAMES

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It may surprise some people that I only have Lebron at number 3. The truth is, since joining the Lakers, he hasn’t bothered me nearly as much. He’s finally gonna miss the playoffs, he’s one year closer to being too old, and his record off the court is impeccable. Not once has he ever been in an off-the-court scandal the likes of which so many other players fall victim to these days. However, the fact that he’s a known flopper and denies it to all hell, takes plays off on defense and blames his teammates, thinks his ring with the Cavs makes him the GOAT even though he’s 3-5 in the finals and has always been a frontrunner (until signing with the Lakers), and has been the bane of the Celtics existence for the last ten years makes me want to punch his god damn face so fucking bad.

2. ANY WHITE DUKE BASKETBALL PLAYER EVER

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Fuck all these guys. A bunch of gritty, obnoxious, punchable punks who rarely if ever become anything more than a role player in the NBA. From Grayson Allen to John Scheyer, JJ Redick to Greg Paulus, all these guys spend 4 years being dicks for Duke before eventually going on to not make the NBA or make sure the bench stays warm. JJ Redick is the main exception to this, and he still pisses me off to this day. And now he’s got that ridiculous sleeve that makes him look less tough than if he didn’t even have tattoos. Seriously, how is that possible? Then you have Grayson Allen, who despite not doing anything since coming to the NBA still drives me crazy for all the shoe untying, pants pulling sac taps he pulled off in his career at Duke. He’s like a dweebier version of Lance Stephenson, and with a much more punchable face. I’ll say it again, Fuck all these guys.

  1. Curt Schilling
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And our champion of the guys I’d like to punch in the face tournament, Curt Schilling. Now I know he hasn’t been an athlete for 10 years, and his bloody sock game is one of the best performances in Red Sox history, but I still can’t stand this guy. I respect the hell out of him as a player, but the rest of him can go screw. When he was playing, he had a tendency to be a dick in his morning interviews and blame it in on how he just woke up (maybe try scheduling them for when you’re awake? Just a thought). He is an arrogant, self-righteous prick that made enemies in the clubhouse, in the media and with management everywhere he went. One time when I worked at Best Buy back in college, he came in to buy a bunch of video games for his charity (I’ll give him that one), and my managers took me off the register because they were afraid I’d call him a douche to his face.

But despite being nearly universally hated, screwing over nearly 400 employees and conning $75 million out of the state of Rhode Island, he had the gall to run for political office and think anyone would vote for him? I would trade in all my punches from everyone else on this list to punch Curt in the face just once. Screw you, Schilling.

Celtics Put Up Their Best Effort of the Year Last Night

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Wow. That was unexpected. In the midst of all the drama and doubt, the Celtics easily pulled off their most decisive win of the season last night, handing the Warriors their worst home loss in the Steve Kerr era. They absolutely wiped the floor with GSW, dominating every quarter in a wire to wire win. And as we all know, it couldn’t have come at a better time. The Dubs may have been without Thompson, Looney and Livingston, but even still, the Celtics were able to do something they’ve struggled with all year, and that’s beat a good team on the road.

The offense looked totally in sync, the defensive rotations were much improved, and the passing was as crisp as it’s looked in a while. The Warriors shot under 23% from deep and 40% from the floor, with the Celtics defense finally making an appearance after taking several weeks off. Kyrie looked focused, the bench played as good as they’ve played all year, and Marcus Morris only took 8 shots (seriously, why he’s been taking more shots than Kyrie recently baffles me). Jaylen continues to provide an explosive energy when he comes in, and Gordon had his best first half as a Celtic and as efficient of a game as he’s had in green. Maybe he needs a black eye all the time a la Jan Wolfhaus.

The thing that gives me the biggest confidence boost was that they finally played like a team, both laughing and supporting each other and having each others backs when Boogie started running his mouth.

Now, I’m not about to say all our problems have gone away. Far from it. Could this team still get bounced in the first round? Absolutely. But I fully believe the Celtics are the only team that can stop the Celtics from reaching the finals. When they play like they did tonight, there isn’t a team in the East who can beat them in a 7 game series. This west coast trip is huge for team building and a much needed respite from the over-analyzing Boston media. If they can rattle off 5-6 straight wins here, I’ll be pacified. Honestly, I didn’t expect them to beat the Rockets the other night, and the way they finished that game did actually give me a little confidence, although I still think Jaylen should be starting over Marcus Morris. My biggest problem with their play recently has been the way they play in the second and third quarters, but they killed it tonight.

Speaking of over-analyzing, why the hell were people freaking out about this? Read the whole quote. Obviously he’s not going to miss cameras following him everywhere he goes all the time, are you kidding me? I was driving home after that game and all anyone could talk about on the late night talk shows were his atrocious, anti-Boston pregame comments and that’s what he says? Fuck outta here. You assholes on the radio are half the reason why the circus surrounding Kyrie exists in the first place. You misconstrue his candid takes and twist them to try to make him look bad, and then go and blame him for those mischaracterizations which you made in the first place. Same thing they did with Jaylen Brown’s “toxic” comment too. Hey guys, cut that shit out and try rooting for the hometown team for a change. Whaddya say?

If You’re Going to Embarrass Yourself in Public, Own It. Or Don’t Suck at Fantasy Sports

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This year, in one of my four fantasy football leagues, I came in dead last. As a punishment, the winner of the league got to choose a song for me to sing at karaoke. As it turns out, the winner of the league taught me how to play drums back in middle school. I use the term taught very loosely, as I don’t know how to play drums today because I never wanted to practice. My fault, not his. Anyway, it was for that reason that he chose Little Drummer Boy for me to sing.

I was dreading this day for weeks. I mean seriously, who wants to sing a Christmas song two weeks before St Patrick’s Day to a bar outside of Boston? Well, the time finally came, and with a little help from my boy Danny aka the mic stand, I think I killed it.

If you’re going to do something, do it 100%. Whether that means singing karaoke, eating pimento loaf, or any of the hundreds of other hilarious fantasy punishments, own it. It might even get you a free Mai Tai.

Knee Jerk Reactions to the Celtics Atrocity in Toronto

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That pretty much sums it up. God, what an atrocity. I figured that after a Bucks game that we were one blown call away from winning and a disaster in Chicago we’d be able to bounce back and at least compete in Toronto, but boy was I wrong. What is it with this team and second quarters? I didn’t see a single positive out of this team, and am left questioning if this team even has enough to make it through the first round of the playoffs, let alone make a deep run.

Can you imagine what that postgame locker room and subsequent flight back to Boston were like?

As for knee jerk reactions, here’s what I saw. I saw a team that completely and utterly lacks the heart, focus and energy needed to compete at the highest levels. I saw players dropping easy passes, not getting back on defense, pointing fingers, yelling at each other, forgetting how to run a fast break, not knowing who to guard, and making every possible middle school mistake you can think of. It was disgusting. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t expect the Celtics to win this game, but I thought they’d show up.

Related imageBrad Stevens watching the other team go on a run and wondering if he should call a timeout.

Image result for well were waiting gifLiterally every Celtics fan watching opponents go on 12-0 runs while Brad wonders if he should call a timeout.

Now, I stand by everything I said about Kyrie last week. I’m sick of the drama surrounding him, not that it’s all his fault. However, I don’t blame him for all of our troubles in the least. The struggles this Celtics team have been going through are on everyone’s shoulders, and that’s reflected in the box score. Smart was -25, Morris -24, Horford -16, Brown -13, Rozier -11, Irving -10, and Tatum -8. Kyrie usually has no problem taking things into his own hands, but it seemed like he didn’t even try. This may be a result of good defense from Toronto, but the killer instinct he usually has was nowhere to be found. He only had SEVEN POINTS on ten shots. How does that happen? I understand this game meant more to the psyche’s of the Boston fan base than to the actual playoff picture, but still. That can’t happen.

On the plus side, this happened.

Danny needs to sign a big man and bring in some much needed toughness, as well as challenge these guys to earn their minutes. Brad needs to make changes to the rotation stat. Bench some people. Theis is trash and shouldn’t see the court. One of the Marcus’ should come off the bench. Shorten the leashes and pull anyone who isn’t making shots or hustling back on defense. For the love of god, change it up. The rotations are lazy, the play calling predictable, and the defense lethargic. Now excuse me while I go finish ralphing all over my shoes.

I Know What the NBA All Star Game is Missing

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I’ve had a few days to process the NBA All-Star Game now and I’m honestly amazed I made it through 75% of the game. Damn, that shit is boring. Nobody plays defense, people jog back and forth, and just chuck 3s. Every now and then there’s a nice dunk or alleyoop and Chuck or Kenny Smith says something stupid (pull!), but that’s about all the entertainment there is. There’s honestly less than 5 plays worth seeing, and you can catch those highlights online. To save you some time, here are the only two dunks worth seeing:

Luckily, I know how to fix the game. Make the ASG a real live game of NBA Jam. Limit the number of players on the court to two per side, subbing out every two minutes, make everyone wear flame retardant gloves, and any time someone makes 2 shots in a row light the ball on fire and have at it….

But seriously, it’s time to update the ASG. Adding the draft last year was a good start, but they need to go further. And I think they can do that by taking a cue from NBA Jam. Obviously I don’t mean the part about fire, but remember how every now and then a star would appear on the floor with a number and it would be worth that many points? That’s what I mean. 

Here’s how I would do it: you have 3-4 marked circles on each end of the court, and they randomly light up with a number inside. Each time that number is different. I’d maybe only do it on 15-20% of possessions, but I think that would be enough to add some excitement and keep the players on their toes. 

The game is already an arcade game as it is, why not take it a step further? 500 points in a game would be hilarious. It wouldn’t need to be every time down the court, but if they did it infrequently enough that players would all of a sudden kick the ball out to a spot from way behind the arc, that could add some excitement to the game. It would also force the game to be close, and maybe you do actually see people trying to play defense on those shots. It’s already a chuck-fest, why not make those shots worth more points? Plus, this would open up the floor for even more dunks. Not only that, but there have been murmurs of the NBA considering a 4 point shot, and although I think that would be moronic, it would give them a grounds to test it out. Yo Adam Silver, let’s get it done!

I’ve Had it Up to Here with Kyrie

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This is a really difficult thing to write, but deep down in our hearts, I think most of us as Celtics fans know the truth. It’s time to move on from Kyrie Irving. Let me first say I love Kyrie the basketball player. On the court, he’s one of the most exciting, acrobatic, clutch guys I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching on a daily basis. In my mind he’s the best ball handler of all time. The shots he can and often does make are ridiculous. 

That being said, not only do the numbers show that we play better without him, but I think his attitude is toxic to the Celtics locker room culture. First, the numbers. In 11 games without Irving this year, here’s how we’ve looked:

  • With Irving, Boston has shot 46 percent from the field. Without him, that number improves to over 48.5%
  • When it comes to scoring, the Celtics average 112.8 with Irving, 113.9 without him. 
  • On defense, Boston is allowing 107.3 points with Irving in. But that drops all the way to 103.4 points per game when he’s out. Last year it was the same, allowing 4 less ppg with him out.
  • Without Kyrie, Celtics are 21-3 at home since he’s joined the club

Now I get that 11 games is a small sample size and a lot of those games are against bad teams, and I also get that typically high scoring guards like Westbrook and Lillard have similar effects on their teams defense, but this is only the first point in my argument. Now you can say that last year our offense scored 7 less points per game without Kyrie than with, but it’s clear from watching this team our offense has taken a big step forward, especially in 2019. Rozier, Tatum, Brown, Hayward (obviously) are all significantly better offensive players right now than they were this time last year. And we saw what they could do as a team in the playoffs. Although they couldn’t beat Lebron, having that experience is only going to make them better in the years to come.

I also understand that as currently constructed, this team benefits from Kyrie being on the floor. His clutch gene in the playoffs is up there with the best, plus having a backup PG like Rozier is huge. BUT, when I say time to move on, I mean it’s time to move on from treating Kyrie like the Crown Prince of Boston.

It’s time for Danny Ainge, the media and everyone else to stop acting like Kyrie’s ego is the only thing that matters. And here’s why:


KYRIE IS A FUCKING HEADCASE.

Listen to his interviews throughout the season and you’ll see what I’m talking about. First, he says if you’ll have me I want my number hanging in the rafters at the Garden. Then you having him calling out teammates, whining to the media, having hissy fits on the court to his coach and to a guy who’s leg snapped in half 15 months ago, saying we need veterans cuz these young bucks can’t cut it, saying he doesn’t owe anybody anything and only cares about himself. On top of that, all anyone wants to talk about is whether or not he’s getting traded, if he’s staying put, if we’re going to trade and pair Davis and Kyrie. It’s like he’s bipolar and he’s using the media as his shrink, but instead of doctor-patient confidentiality it’s the exact opposite of that.

The trade talk alone is enough to rattle young guys like Tatum and Brown, but when you also don’t know which version of Kyrie you’re going to have to talk to after the game that night, I can only imagine how that wears on these guys. Kyrie is like one of those crazy girlfriends from Entourage who you can’t stand to listen to but can’t look away from because they’re just that sexy. 

With all of these things to consider, it’s no wonder why Marcus Morris said nobody is having fun. They don’t know if they’re gonna get yelled at for not being serious by a guy who needs to sit out a week because he ran around a screen the wrong way. He’s got everyone on edge and half these guys are too young to know how to handle it. Do you remember the first couple times you got yelled at on the job? When it happened to me, I was somewhere between “I want to punch this dick in the face” and “Holy shit I can’t believe I made a mistake,” so I just froze. Kyrie is not a good leader, and it’s no surprise because his role model in Cleveland was King Diva himself. Earlier this season Jaylen Brown, in response to Kyrie’s locker room ranting, said. “We can’t make comments. We can’t point fingers. We just gotta empower each other. If we don’t everybody’s going to go into their own little shell.” And Kyrie has been doing exactly…not that.

The icing on the cake with this whole thing is that Kyrie is going to play in the All Star game tonight after missing a week with a knee sprain, a part of his body he’s had trouble with his whole career predating the NBA. And this motherfucker wants to go play grab-ass with Lebron and AD in some bizarro-world Lebron’s All-Star Recruiting Night? It’s completely astounding to me that Danny and Brad have no problem with this, and are just like, “he’ll have a trainer with him so it’s cool.” Fuck off Kyrie. 


*Side note: It’s very possible I have this all wrong, and it’s actually Kyrie doing the recruiting of Davis. I’ll eat my words if, months from now, Davis says talking with Kyrie at the ASG changed his mind and convinced him to come to Boston. Also, Kyrie can make this all better by shutting up with media and taking over for the rest of the season. Less ego, more hoop.