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Conor McGregor is a Chicken….Sandwich Selling Machine!

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Adweek – Conor McGregor hasn’t fought in the UFC since winning the lightweight belt in November 2016 and then taking a detour into boxing—earning more than $100 million by fighting (and losing to) Floyd Mayweather Jr. last August. His hiatus from UFC has frustrated his rivals, who want a shot at the title—in particular, the Russian fighter Khabib Nurmagomedov, who called McGregor a “chicken” recently. That particular insult has only helped McGregor add to his riches, though—as Burger King used it as an opening to have McGregor hawk its new Spicy Crispy Chicken Sandwich.

God I miss Conor.

It’s been nearly two years since McGregor has fought in the Octagon and thats a damn shame. The guy is the most electric fighter since Chuck Liddell. I’m sure Joey B can touch on this with great insight, but I’ve heard rumors McGregor may even fight twice in 2018. Sign me up right now. Thats $120 for Dana White locked in. The UFC desperately needs more fighters like McGregor because if he’s not fighting there’s about a 20% chance I actually buy the fight, especially when a card is headlined by Cyborg. Not waiting until 1 am to watch the singer from the Muppet band beat a broad to death in 45 seconds.

The Bullpen Car is Returning to Major League Baseball!

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ESPN – The bullpen car is coming back after being gone for an entire generation of baseball fans. The Arizona Diamondbacks will use a helmet-clad golf cart for the first time since the vehicle left Major League Baseball more than two decades ago. “I think it wore out its welcome,” Diamondbacks president and CEO Derrick Hall said. “There were these new stadiums, and the focus shifted to the guys running through gates and onto the mound. We think the time is right to bring it back.” Hall said the Diamondbacks purchased two golf carts and had them retrofitted with big caps by SportsKartz, a company in Tampa, Florida. It’s not all for tradition. The Diamondbacks sold a sponsorship to OnTrac, a West Coast courier service, which will receive branding on the vehicles. “An ancillary benefit might be that it could speed up the game,” Hall said. “I expect a lot of teams to follow suit.”

Make Baseball Fun Again. One of the greatest idiosyncrasies of baseball was that the relief pitchers would get ferried from the bullpen to the goddamn mound like they were Xerxes invading Sparta.

I don’t want my Closer expending any energy at all commuting to work. Let the guy save his bullets for when the action really matters on the mound. It would seem the bullpen car was invented more out of necessity than entertainment.

“Nobody ran in from the bullpen,” said Dick Stigman, who pitched for the Cleveland Indians, Minnesota Twins and Boston Red Sox in the 1960s. “I don’t think we could’ve made it. We all smoked.”

Now its back and I could not be more excited. Of course we have to be careful of rogue mascots driving like total assholes:

Or the Marshawn Lynch’s of the world just running people down:

But aside from that I think we’re in for a renaissance. Will this speed up the game of baseball? Almost certainly not! What it will do though is encourage less and less conditioning among relief pitchers. Hopefully to the point that guys like El Guapo and Bartolo are a more common sight than a workout warrior like AJ Ramos.

Just like the good old days, when men smoked cigarettes in the dugout and drank whiskey in between at-bats. Health and well being be damned, Make Baseball Fun Again.

 

Terrible News: Ed Hochuli is Retiring. Better News: His Son is Replacing Him

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ESPN – NFL referee Ed Hochuli has retired, the league announced Tuesday, ending a colorful career that made him one of the most recognized game officials in American sports. Known for his long-winded explanations and exposed biceps, Hochuli, 67, will serve as an independent consultant to the league. The NFL promoted his son, back judge Shawn Hochuli, to replace him.

What a sad, sad day it is here at The 300s. Ed Hochuli is retiring after 28 YEARS. The guy has been an NFL referee for literally my entire life. I’ve never known an NFL without Ed Hochuli. Ed Hochuli is and forever will be the most famous and popular referee in the history of organized sports. A lawyer from Monday to Friday (no, seriously)

Hochuli would over explain every call to a hilarious effect. Not to mention his absolute GUNS of course.

The guy had bigger biceps than half the players he was officiating. Ed Hochuli looked like he could throw on some pads and de-cleat someone tomorrow. I’ll miss you, Ed. Let us never forget the stories of him being an absolute curmudgeon when spotted out in public.

How about the fact that his son is taking his spot too? LEGACY! The Hochuli’s are about to establish a dynasty that could last 1,000 years.

After Yet Another NCAA Pay for Play Scandal, the NBA is Exploring Creating a League to Develop (and Pay) Young Players

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ESPN – In 2005, then-NBA commissioner David Stern celebrated a victory when he successfully created an age limit — a player had to be 19 years old or one year removed from his high school class graduation to be drafted — that accomplished his goal of removing pro scouts from high school gyms. Now, though, there is turbulence, as the underbelly in the youth and college basketball systems is being exposed. The NBA has watched it unfold. Seeing both a responsibility as the world’s leading basketball league and an opportunity to move in on valuable territory, the league is preparing to get involved again with elite high school basketball players, multiple sources told ESPN. Current NBA commissioner Adam Silver and several of his top advisers have been engaged in listening tours and information-gathering missions with an array of stakeholders for months. That has included formal meetings with the National Basketball Players Association about adjusting the so-called “one-and-done” age-limit rule. But Silver’s aim is much more comprehensive than simply re-opening the door for 18-year-olds to play in the NBA, sources said.

WHAT TOOK SO LONG? I gotta be honest, when I first heard that the NBA was seriously interested in a player development system alternative to the NCAA all I could think of was one thing.

Love him or hate him, LaVar Ball’s idea for a similar league was not the worst idea in the world. But, back to reality.

The NBA is the only major sport without a legitimate minor league system, which is ridiculous. Did you know not every NBA team actually has a G-League team? How is that even possible? If you’re going to require that players are at least a year removed from high school and the NCAA continues to be the money grubbing scheme that it is, it only makes sense to make the G-League a legitimate alternative to college. A place where players can get actual NBA level coaching and make a little coin without getting athletic directors and coaches everywhere investigated by the FBI.

How many of these 18 year old phenoms actually want to to go to Duke for 6 months? And notice I say 6 months and not a year because these guys ain’t showing up to half their classes trust me. So why do we continue the facade?

Well it seems like Adam Silver is working to create this alternative for young elite basketball players.

“A plan is expected to include the NBA starting relationships with elite teenagers while they are in high school, providing skills to help them develop both on and off the court. It would ultimately open an alternate path to the NBA besides playing in college and a way 18-year-olds could earn a meaningful salary either from NBA teams or as part of an enhanced option in the developmental G League, sources said.”

All of this sounds exactly like what major soccer programs have had in place in Europe for years. Create something like an academy where young players can train, learn, and most importantly get paid all while developing to play for the big league team one day. Makes sense right? Especially when compared to the shady aspects of NCAA basketball and the joke that is the G-League.

Later in this article though it is mentioned how the NBA was looking into establishing just those types of academies.

“Within the past year, league officials began canvassing teams on their ideas and interest in the NBA creating academies that would house and train dozens of the country’s elite high school basketball players, sources said. This academy concept has been floated for years, notably by Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban…However, after discussions with teams and examining challenges and possible unintended consequences with establishing these operations in the U.S., the NBA has decided not to go down the academy path at this time, sources said.”

It seems like they have decided to go a different route and I can only think its because of some legality issues (since they have similar academies outside of the US) or simply theres a way to create this system for young players while also making money. As opposed to probably sinking capital into housing and training players at year round academies.

The G-League is ripe for improvement though.

“The NBA currently permits 18-year-olds in the G League, but the salaries are not competitive. Currently, G League players can earn a maximum of $26,000 per season. In recent years, prospects such as Brandon Jennings, Emmanuel Mudiay and Terrance Ferguson played overseas and earned as much as $1 million while waiting to be eligible to be drafted — which they all were in the first round.”

Jesus christ, no wonder nobody wants to play there. You can make more money playing at UNC.

Currently if you’re playing in the G-League you are either rehabbing an injury or a scrub. Theres no in between. There are no prospects working their way up, and thats unfortunate. You could probably do a lot to limit the massive busts we see by giving guys some grooming in the G-League instead of either instantly succeeding at the NBA level or flopping. Because as we all know, not all 18-year old phenoms are created equal.

“The NBA is focusing on getting involved in two important periods in which they currently have minimal contact with prospects: the high school years and the time between high school graduation and when a young player is physically and emotionally ready to join the NBA.”

I don’t know about 18 year olds being “emotionally ready” for anything besides buying cigarettes and scratch tickets because I remember how out to lunch me and all my friends were at that age. BUT, if there is one sport where young guys are physically ready to jump into the league its without a doubt basketball.

Now how will this effect the NCAA? It makes billions of dollars off these exact types of young athletes. The NCAA will say all the right things publicly, but it will be interesting to see how bitterly they fight this behind closed doors.

“In recent days, influential voices such as former President Barack Obama and LeBron James, a vice president of the players’ union, have called for the NBA to expand its G League to give teenagers another option besides the NCAA route. NCAA president Mark Emmert has said repeatedly he doesn’t believe players should come to college if only to use it as a pit stop toward being in the NBA.

That is a bold faced lie from Mark Emmert. If legitimate top level talent abandons the NCAA then theres no reason for me to watch it. Despite what the NCAA wants you to believe, nobody watches college basketball because of the values and kids chasing their dreams with their classmates. This ain’t Hickory High. We watch it to see the young studs dominate a few months before they become NBA Lottery picks.

Not saying we’re going to see a flood of NBA ready superstar teenagers like we saw with Kobe Bryant, Kevin Garnett, LeBron James etc. BUT if you’re not going to pay these guys and expect them to just eat shit for a year because David Stern put in an arbitrary rule a decade ago then you’re supremely naive. These guys are going to get paid what they’re worth one way or another. So if you’re the NBA why not strike now to get both the good will of helping young players develop and make a living, while also winning a potential land grab between the NCAA and overseas pro leagues. If the NBA doesn’t put a system in place someone will. Whether its the Australian National Basketball League or the LaVar Ball Big Baller Brand Basketball Association, someone will offer these young athletes what they’re looking for. Either way, one thing is clear; its time for change.

Former NFL Combine Athletic Freaks Julio Jones and Devin Hester Take Exception to NFL Hyping Up Saquon Barkley’s Athletic Freak Combine Performance. Huh?

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USA Today -As expected, Saquon Barkley put on a show at the 2018 NFL combine. His performance inspired NFL Media’s research department to send out this tweet… That didn’t sit well with Hester, who took to Instagram to point out that he was not 100% when he ran in Indy

“No disrespect to S Barkley But I ran in the combine with a pulled hamstring with sneakers on, just so I wouldn’t make it any worse. Was told by all the scouts that if I did bad that I could make it up at pro day. @nfl@nflnetwork@NFLResearch do you really think he was faster then me!!!!😂😂😂😂”

Julio Jones’ reaction wasn’t so polite

“They got me f#%* up! I’m 4.3 with a broken foot”

Jones was diagnosed with a broken foot immediately following his combine performance in 2011. But we should point out that NFL Research did not even mention Jones’ speed in the comparison. Joe Thomas could only laugh at the tweet…

For guys that were literally Pro Bowlers in the National Football League to freak out that the NFL is hyping up this rookie is preposterous. Be more insecure guys. Oh I ran with a bad hammy, oh I had a bum foot that day.

I’m the first guy to yell from the mountaintops that NFL Combine performance doesn’t necessarily mean a whole lot when projecting successful NFL players. Remember Vernon Gholston?

How often does a player run 40 yards completely straight without interruption? The answer is basically never. So a lot of these drills aren’t super relevant, but that doesn’t mean its not goddamn impressive. Just look at this tweet.

He ran a faster 40 than Devin Hester, put up more reps on the bench than Joe Thomas (a Left TACKLE) and he had a higher Vertical than arguably the most athletic player in the NFL in Julio Jones. Does that mean he will be a better NFL player than any of those guys? Of course not, but let me repeat myself, its still goddamn impressive. So for these guys to come out of the woodworks to bitch and moan?

 

East Bridgewater Girls Basketball Team Forced to Apologize After Smoking Another Team 93-7

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Yahoo – When is a victory something you don’t take pride in, but something you ought to apologize for? For East Bridgewater (Mass.), the tipping point was an 86-point victory over Madison Park in the first round of a state sectional girls’ basketball tournament. Blowouts happen all the time in high school sports, though rarely with a near-three-figure point differential. But what prompted East Bridgewater Superintendent of Schools Elizabeth Legault to apologize for the margin of victory was the way in which the East Bridgewater Vikings ran up a lead, going up 24-0 in the first quarter … and then continued to push, long after the outcome was no longer in doubt. Per local media reports, the Vikings kept many of their starters in the game until late, kept up the full-court press into the third quarter, and even tossed daggers like pulling for a three-point shot at the end of the third quarter to go up 70-4.

You see these stories pop up from time to time and now the high school was forced to issue an apology. My only question here is how does a quote unquote PLAYOFF team only score 7 points? How long are these games? Like 40 mins? Even if I only dribbled and shot left handed I’d like to think I could sneak in a handful of layups. East Bridgewater should not be embarrassed for putting the beatdown of a lifetime on their opponent. Their opponent should be embarrassed for being terrible at basketball. Running the full court press into the 3rd quarter is kind of a dickhead move though…

If they were playing the school for the blind then I would understand the apology, but this is the playoffs. And if know one thing about Massachusetts, its that we take our girls high school basketball VERY seriously. My high school won the state title when I was there and it was the greatest sporting event I’ve ever witnessed….Ok, not really, but my message to this girls team is still the same. Just go outside, work on your jump shots until the sun goes down, and maybe next year you can break double digits in the playoffs. Baby steps.

 

Jerry Jones Responds to Roger Goodell Stealing More of His Money by Opting Out of the NFL Ticket Deal and Investing in its Direct Competitor

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Sports Illustrated – The Dallas Cowboys have reportedly agreed to a deal to opt out of the NFL’s deal with Ticketmaster and instead work with SeatGeek as their box office, per ESPN’s Darren Rovell. The Lions opted to use a different provider back in 2013, but they moved back to Ticketmaster for the upcoming season. In November, the Saints switched to SeatGeek. 

So earlier this week it came out that the NFL and Roger Goodell were demanding millions of dollars from Jerry Jones and the Cowboys to cover legal fees from Jones’ various spats with the league last season. It would seem Jerry did not appreciate that too much as he not only opted out of the league’s ticket deal with Ticketmaster, but he is also buying a 15% stake in its DIRECT COMPETITOR in SeatGeak.

I guess this move in of itself isn’t totally unprecedented as the Lions and the Saints have kicked around the idea of separate ticket deals, but when Jerry Jones does something it makes waves. The man is a tastemaker and has been pulling shit like this for year.

“Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is no stranger to making deals outside of the league’s partners. In 1995, he made a deal with Pepsi when the league was partnered with Coke. In 2002, he opted out of the NFL’s licensing deal that split revenues equally. The Cowboys are still the only team that does this.”

Listen this singular move may not have Roger Goodell shaking in his boots, but thats why Jerry Jones is a goddamn assassin. Its not this move thats going to kill Roger, its 4 moves from now that will be the death knell. And opting out of the NFL ticket deal, besides being a power move, does two things. 1.) It sets a wicked precedent. What if Robert Kraft now wants to go with AceTicket and what if the Rooney family wants to do an exclusive deal with StubHub? What if the owners just start chipping away at the NFL’s oligarchy? The smaller share of the pie that the NFL and Roger Goodell control, the less the owners need or care who the commissioner is. The days of the $40 Million salary for the NFL commissioner could be numbered all because Roger Goodell flew too close to the sun and tried to expense his legal fees to Jerry Jones.

“The move has nothing to do with the news that Jones will have to reimburse the NFL $2 million in legal fees in his fight against commissioner Roger Goodell over Goodell’s renewal.”

Richard Sherman and Aqib Talib Reportedly Interested in Joining Patriots

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Boston Herald – The Patriots should focus on a couple power hitters to replace outgoing cornerback Malcolm Butler. Suffice to say, two of the most intriguing corners in the NFL have their eye on the Patriots. For now, Richard Sherman is a Seahawk and Aqib Talib is a Bronco, and the Pats can’t do anything about that. But there’s an understanding in league circles that both could become available at some point this offseason…Last offseason the Pats did call the Seahawks about Sherman, who turns 30 at the end of this month, but the trade interest was brief. Sherman was receptive to the idea of joining the Patriots then and still is now if Seattle goes in another direction, according to a source..Talib, 32, would be receptive to the idea of rejoining the Patriots, according to a source. So if the Broncos unload him prior to free agency, that potential courtship could begin in the coming days.

As Howe mentions here, last season the Patriots actually explored a potential deal with Seattle for Richard Sherman, which obviously didn’t go through. But you have to think the framework of a potential deal is at least there with the price only having gone down since then.

Now as Felger and Mazz producer Jimmy Stewart points out, both Sherman and Talib are (or will be) on the wrong side of 30 by next season and the Patriots decided to move on from Darrelle Revis at the age of…yup you guessed it, 30.

But I think more of that had to do with Revis’ compete level than his actual age.

If there’s one thing that Sherman…

…and Talib…

…absolutely do not lack it is a psychotic compete level. Plus cornerback isn’t like runningback where you just completely fall off a cliff at 30. So I wouldn’t be as concerned with that.

Now obviously Sherman is coming off a torn achilles soo that would give me a bit of pause. Contrary to popular belief that injury is less than ideal, but hey guess what? The cupboards are bare at cornerback. So unless something better becomes available I will take one (or both) of these guys in a second. Now obviously both are still under contract with their respective teams so the Patriots can not and should not wait on these guys, but hey if they are still rice paper thin at cornerback once the summer gets here then they’d be downright negligent to not at least kick the tires.

The Yet to Exist Seattle NHL Team Just Sold 25K Season Tickets. In an Hour

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ESPN – Seattle fans have spoken: They want hockey. The Oak View Group, the prospective owners of a potential NHL franchise in Seattle, say they reached 25,000 deposits within the first hour of their season-ticket drive Thursday. That exceeds the goal of 10,000 deposits — which was reached in the first 12 minutes. The group says its website has slowed down because of the influx in traffic, though deposits are still being accepted. The OVG reached a deal with the city of Seattle for $600 million to renovate KeyArena downtown. As a hockey venue, it is expected to seat about 17,000. In February, the OVG submitted paperwork, including a $10 million down payment, to the NHL to be its 32nd franchise. The league is likely to accept the bid pending the results of the season-ticket drive. The Vegas Golden Knights ran a season-ticket drive in 2015; that campaign received 5,000 deposits in the first two days.

What a genius marketing ploy by the NHL. Oh you want an NHL team, Seattle? Well we’re gonna need you to sell all of your season tickets for a team that doesn’t technically exist yet. Its a win-win move for both sides. The NHL gets a resounding Yes to the question “does this city really want an NHL team?” Seattle gets to actually justify the renovations to KeyArena in the HOPE a professional sports league blesses them with a team.

This should be the way expansion cities are selected in every major sport moving forward. Why would you go through all the work of putting an expansion team (or relocating a team) to a city if you’re not 100% sure its going to work? Thats how we got stuck with the Arizona Coyotes for the past 20 years.

I know oftentimes these deals are wink wink behind closed doors, but now cities don’t have to build an entire arena with a surrounding complex and pray a pro team wants to move there. Thats how it worked in Ballers on HBO anyway and thats all the research I intend to do on the matter.

But holy shit does Seattle want a hockey team. Or I guess any team really. You’d be the same way too if the best young player in the game and his entire team up and moved to OKLAHOMA CITY on you.

But 25K tix in an HOUR?! Thats bananas. It took the Las Vegas Golden Knights two days to reach 5K. So this is a done deal now. The NHL is going to Seattle. I for one and fired up because I’ve always wanted to go to Seattle and eat sushi in the bleachers at Safeco, but this gives me one more reason to fly out there. Package it with a Seahawks game to see the 12s to see Russell Wilson by day and the TBD Seattle NHL team by night.
Plus you just know this team’s jersey will be bright as fuck obnoxious lime green and I am here for it. Love the neon colorway, need more of it in my life.

 

I Sense Much Fear in You, Patriots Fans

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Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

A lot of my friends are still pretty pissed off at Bill Belichick for decisions made that may or may not have lost the Patriots a Super Bowl (i.e. benching Malcolm Butler). With all the negative publicity surrounding the Patriots recently fans are seemingly wavering in their confidence. There are a ton of dominoes that will need to fall one way or another before next season, which is what Patriots fans fear most.

Rob Gronkowski could be jumping ship to go hit people with steel chairs.

That would have sounded insane just a couple of months ago, but the longer we go the larger the possibility is that Gronk will walk away from the NFL to join the WWE and chase Hollywood. On the outside looking in that is preposterous because he’s arguably the greatest TE to ever play the game, only 28 years old, playing for an elite team with an elite QB, and coming off one of his healthiest seasons. But he’s also already made tens of millions of dollars and despite his relative health this season, another concussion notwithstanding, Gronk may be starting to think about his mortality. Is it worth it to play a few more years and possibly blow out my knee again, break my arm again, break my back again? People forget just how banged up this guy has been. With the recent run of NFL players retiring young these days it wouldn’t surprise me. It would borderline tragic as a Patriots fan to see Gronk step away, but I wouldn’t fault him.

The Patriots leading rusher Dion Lewis could be gone

Lewis sounded like a guy reserved to a fate of playing in Indianapolis or Tampa Bay next year in a recent podcast with Adam Schefter.

“I love it here…Hopefully it will work out, but at the same time, you can’t really think that way. You have to take care of yourself and your family…At the same time, I’m not putting all my eggs in one basket,” he said. “I know how the team likes to handle their business, and as a running back, you have to make the most of your opportunity…My main thing is just making sure I’m valued. That’s my biggest thing — to make sure I’m valued the way I value myself.”

Similar to many players that excel with the Patriots, Lewis bounced around the league for years before putting it all together and breaking out in New England. It would be a shame to see him leave as the Patriots are nearly undefeated with a healthy Dion Lewis on the field. Thats the key word there though; healthy. While another team may be willing to roll the dice on Lewis’ knees and pay big bucks to sign the RB, I don’t see Belichick doing the same.

Malcolm Butler is gone.

This one’s not even a question. I think Belichick could have burned Butler’s house down and we’d have a better shot at him coming back than we do after Bill benching Malcolm for the entire goddamn Super Bowl. Butler resigning with the Patriots would shock me more than him not playing in the Super Bowl.

Nate Solder is a free agent

He could return to protect Brady’s blind side, which might be the single most important job in all of New England, but he’s also dealing with some very serious real life issues as his young son continues to battle cancer. At some point the commitment it takes to play in the NFL may be more than Solder is willing to sacrifice at this point. I wouldn’t blame him if he walks away to spend more time with his family.

Danny Amendola is a free agent

After taking pay cuts each of the last 3 years, Amendola’s original 5-year contract is up. So while Amendola has clearly demonstrated he is a company man, does he want to play for less than market value yet again? He has carved out a folk hero-esque role here and seems to be BFFs with Tom Brady, so maybe he does, but if someone knocks down his door with a big money offer does that make  him think twice?

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Okay, thoroughly depressed now? Time for some SILVER LININGS!

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Tom Brady is the reigning MVP

Whether you believe Alex Guerrero is the next coming of Christ or if you think the TB12 Method is a total crock of shit, you can’t deny whatever Brady’s doing is working. He’s the goddamn MVP at 40 years old and just threw for 500 fucking yards in the Super Bowl. As always with an older player, I fear the end of the road, but Brady has been so damn good its hard to know if thats coming next year or if he’ll be collecting Social Security checks while under center. Either way, life is good.

Julian Edelman will be back

He has been posting workout videos almost daily and while I cringe watching him sprint, jump, and cut on his surgically repaired ACL, I gotta say he looks great. All that while not even rocking a shirt, impressive stuff.

Dont’a Hightower will be back

The Patriots missed him in a bad, bad way this past season. Relying on the likes of 40-year old James Harrison and signing guys like David Harris (who just retired) to fill in for the likes of All-Pros like Kyle Van Noy. So Hightower will be back next year. Until he gets hurt again. But he will be back!

Brandin Cooks will have a full offseason to work with Tom Brady

Who knows, he may even get invited out to the TB12 Neverland Ranch in Montana to work out with the rest of the receiving corp! A lot of the Boston media was pretty down on Cooks, which I just do not get. Was he 2007 Randy Moss? Of course not, but he was one of the most immediately successful wide receivers Belichick has ever picked up behind only Moss and Wes Welker. Usually these receivers come into Foxborough and are a disaster because they just don’t have it anymore, they can’t figure out the system, or they fall out of Brady’s circle of trust. Joey Galloway, Ocho Cinco, and Brandon Lloyd. In his lone season playing with Brady, Cooks had 65 catches for 1,082 yards and 7 TDs. Not too shabby, now give him 6 months to study the playbook and work with Brady and Belichick.

Fear not, young padawan. The city of Boston is not falling into a sinkhole. The Patriots are still elite and while there are some holes to fill and some air needs to be cleared, they will still be one of the favorites to win Super Bowl LIII. That’ll do, pig.