The Situation With the UFC’s First ESPN+ Card is Officially Nuts

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Yesterday morning, I sat down at this very keyboard and wrote out what I thought was a solid blog regarding the next UFC Fight Night in Brooklyn, which also happens to be the UFC’s first card on ESPN+ as part of the new UFC-ESPN deal. Well, that blog got deleted instead of being sent to Red for publishing. Fuck. Fate seems to have intervened, as it does however, and a whirlwind of announcements have been made since. Hard to tell where to begin.

What I wrote about yesterday was the UFC insensitively booking Greg Hardy’s debut for the Brooklyn card when the only other fight scheduled (at.the.time) was Paige Van Zant vs. Rachel Ostovich. Ostovich, if you don’t know, is the fighter who came into the public consciousness recently for the worst reasons, having been the victim of a brutal attack at the hands of her husband, a fellow MMA fighter. I mean, he broke her orbital bone. Ghastly stuff. But she’s a fighter, and fighters fight, and she decided to stay on the card, So what does the UFC do? O, only books a guy convicted of beating, strangling, and tossing, onto a bed laden with guns no less, his girlfriend. Best case scenario this was just a massive missed communication – not a misspelling by the way, I don’t mean signals crossed, I mean signals missed altogether. Worst case the UFC went too far with their “everybody deserves a second chance” stance on Hardy and this being a big event, decided it shouldn’t matter who he fights alongside. What I think they might do, given the backlash, is move his fight to a different card. Make the guy wait and excuse yourself with an “aw shucks” shrug. That will be enough. No need for a gigantic, phony public apology. If Ostovich raises hell however they are going to be in quite the spot with the press and fans alike.

That was supposed to be it. The Hardy-Ostovich story. But noooope. This card curiously lacked a headliner. What did the UFC do? They only moved the biggest fight they currently have booked, the Champ vs. Champ 125lb Title Fight between Henry Cejudo and T.J Dillashaw, to the top of this card, taking it from an uncomfortable spectacle on paper to the makings of a barn-burner. I mean this fight is not getting 1/100 the attention it deserves. In Cejudo you have a guy that should be getting all the love in the world; someone who has been the best in the world at every stage in the game, from Olympic gold medalist to UFC Champion after dethroning long-time, immovable champion Demetrious Johnson. In T.J Dillashaw you have a true blue nightmare at 135lbs; another excellent wrestler who under the tutelage of Duane Ludwig has rebuilt himself into a shape-shifting, ultra slick, world-class kickboxer that just simply freezes people. This fight is going to be insane. (Side Note: This leave UFC 233 without a headliner. Cormier-Lesn……?)

To round out yesterday’s announcement The UFC shifted a pivotal  women’s flyweight division fight from UFC 233 to the Brooklyn card. This one pits Arianne “Violence Queen” Lipski, who has only met a couple of opponents she couldn’t finish, against fan favorite Joanne Calderwood, who has only met a couple coaches she couldn’t fuck. The winner of this one is probably neck-and-neck with or just below Jessica Andrade for a shot at Cashmeouside for the Women’s Flyweight Championship.

When all is said and done this Brooklyn/ESPN+ card has gone from kind of bizarre to almost a real UFC MMA card. It still, in my opinion, needs a solid fight or two to make it worth tuning into for more than Cejudo-Killashaw, but they are this close. Wild night indeed.

Millennials Are Now Being Blamed for Killing….Canned Tuna?

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New York Times – Why are we suddenly talking about canned tuna and millennials? The Wall Street Journal reported on Sunday that overall consumption of the packaged fish has declined by more than 40 percent in the United States over the last three decades, according to the Department of Agriculture.

Among the reasons that people are less inclined to reach for a can of Bumble Bee: It isn’t convenient enough for younger consumers. Many people “can’t be bothered to open and drain the cans, or fetch utensils and dishes to eat the tuna,” The Journal reported.

But the rationale that cut hardest, it seems, was a quotation from a vice president for marketing and innovation for StarKist, one of the big three tuna purveyors.

“A lot of millennials don’t even own can openers,” he said.

It’s my duty to call out these “Millennials Killed x” articles every time I see one. We’ve been blamed for killing the economy, tipping, home ownership, SEARS, personal health, and now millennials are getting blamed for killing CANNED TUNA. Look if this were 11 years ago then they may have a point with that last line because when I was a freshman in college, as sad as it is to admit, I didn’t own a can opener. Hell if I knew how to work one.

I was like a wounded baby deer wandering through the woods, blacking out 2-3 times a week just trying to find my way in this world.

But I also didn’t own silverware, cups that weren’t plastic and red, or a fridge that could fit more than one Red Barron pizza and 4 cans of beer soda. So I probably wasn’t the best test case as a kid living on his own for the first time. Except, I am on record as being a huge tuna guy so you know what I did in that strange time of my life? I bought those little bags of tuna that you walk by in the grocery store and ask who the hell would eat those?

I bought the shit out of those little bags of fish. They were delightful in the absence of a can opener. So Big Tuna can go screw with this attempted defamation of character. Millennials may be too poor to buy anything, but don’t you dare say we killed tuna.

Papa Giorgio and I took a picture with Tuna HQ in Pittsburgh for christs sake. Said picture was unfortunately lost somewhere between my iPhone 4 and now though.

If they want to blame anyone they should really blame Keenan and Kel. One episode on Nickelodeon Splat in the mid 90s and everyone between the ages of 25-35 will never eat tuna ever again.

Dutch Man Asks to Legally Change His Age; Court Says No, but He Doesn’t Care

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'I can choose my own life and my own holiday and my own name and my own gender, so why can't I choose my own age?' Emile Ratelband told CNN.

(CNN) — Age cannot wither him — whatever a courtroom might rule.

Dutchman Emile Ratelband insists his quest to turn the clock forward on his birth certificate is not over, despite a judge on Monday dismissing his request to legally become a younger man.

The 69-year-old father-of-seven had applied to legally have two decades shaved off his age, comparing his request with those from people seeking to switch their gender.

The bizarre exercise was motivated by Ratelband’s desire to make himself more attractive to members of the opposite sex on Tinder and other dating apps. Being younger would also boost his job prospects, he argued.

…

Nevertheless Ratelband sounded anything but deflated following the ruling. “We plan to appeal right away,” the self-defined positivity guru told CNN.

We here at The 300s typically try to keep things tied to sports, music, movies, and other forms of entertainment as much as possible. We know you’re here for fun, cheeky banter and unique takes on those subjects which hopefully help get you through the humdrum work week.

But sometimes there are stories – ones that step outside the normal realm – that we can’t let slip by. Get a load of this complete joke of a human being.

This guy wants to say he’s 20 years younger than he actually is, simply because he wants to get laid (and “get a better job” *wink wink*), and he is comparing his “plight” to that of others who struggle with real identity crises and the discrimination they face each and every day.

GOT IT.

I have never rooted so hard for somebody to lose a case in my entire life, and I hope that this little plan of his backfires so hard that nobody wants to hire him ever again, not due to his age but simply due to the fact he’s an absolute clown.

Look, I’m all for someone shooting their shot. Seriously, that’s my life’s motto: “shoot your shot.” Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

But this is just insanity, and it’s stuff like this which delegitimizes other people’s valid claims of mistreatment, many of which now often go ignored due to the overwhelming stream of garbage self-pity campaigns and people’s incessant desire to be the center of attention.

And how about the audacity of this D-bag???!!! Check out this quote he gave just the other day: “My older son is 42 and he says ‘when you become 49 you will be more like a big brother than a father to me.’ But I say that’s OK as most people think I’m your big brother and not your father anyway.”

The part that scares me the most is not the fact that people now have the gall to actually bring forth cases like this; the scariest part is the fact that he is going to appeal, and I would not be surprised in the slightest if he somehow won.

There’s no question that we live in an increasingly progressive society, which more often than not is a very, very good thing that has helped bring a lot of positive change to the world. But it’s also opened the door for everyone and their brother to complain about everything and make issues out of non-legitimate B.S. that does not matter one iota to the world at large.

They’re even going after freakin’ Rudolph now!!!

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In recent years: same-sex couples won the right marry across the country; people aren’t being thrown away for life anymore for smoking a joint; trans individuals won the right to keep the rights they worked so hard for in Massachusetts – all awesome things!

But some of this other stuff has to stop, and if Ratelband wins his appeal I will take the first Virgin Galactic tourist flight to outer space – which allegedly could happen by the end of this year – and just fucking stay there.

Stay strong, European court system. For everyone’s sake.

The 300s Bloggers’ James Develin is a Playmaker Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 13

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Welcome back. Another week and another 3 days of the highest of highs and lowest of lows. We laughed, we cried, we screamed at the tv/computer screen, terrifying dogs and neighbors alike. Fantasy amiright?!

The two most important things to note about this past week in the NF of L was that A.) Tom Brady has more career rushing yards than Sony Michel. Which is just embarrassing; and B.) James Develin is becoming a legitimate red zone threat which, laugh at it or not, frees up other skill position players for opportunities. In the words of Aubrey, “YEEEaaa, be very afraid.”

Red

I got NINETEEN points from my kicker this past week to just barely squeak out a win. Alas, I missed the playoffs by one game, primarily because Matt Stafford hosed me last week and multiple times throughout the season. But thats what happens when you click the wrong thing and accidentally draft an asshole in the 8th round. They say a pictures worth a thousand words and Yahoo helped me summarize my season in just one image.

Papa G

Blogger’s Note: That was seriously all Papa G submitted. Please keep him in your thoughts.

Big Z

The Z-Men won 121-98 in Week 13, led once again by Christian McCaffrey who put up a cool 25 points. James Conner iced the match Sunday night with two early touchdowns. The win is my squad’s 6th in 7 weeks, enough to improve to 9-4 on the season and secure a first round bye in the fantasy playoffs.

The bye week is huge because it guarantees me a “bowl game” and a crack at at least getting my money back. Let’s just hope I don’t run up two bills in my bye week and run out of gas down the stretch for a second-straight season.

Joey B

I lost again and am last in both pure record and points for for the year. I don’t know where it all went so, so wrong. Fuck you Matthew Stafford. Fuck you Jordan Howard. Fuck every WR not named Michael Thomas.

Mattes

So I failed to make the playoffs in both leagues, and it was a struggle to get out of bed this morning. For a guy who invests way more time than the average person following fantasy football and searching the depths of the Internet for any and all things related to it – no, seriously, it might be actually be a problem – this one really hurts. It’s not like my teams were all that bad either; I was top-three in points against in both leagues, and I lost two games by less than a point while freakin’ TYING another. I know I sound like a dope making excuses right now, but I picked up guys like Aaron Jones, D.J. Moore, Josh Adams, and Tarik Cohen this year, playing the wire like a fiddle all year long. But in fantasy as well as life, it’s all about who you’re matched up against, and it just wasn’t my year. I can still win the loser’s bracket in each league, starting with a first-round matchup against Red this week in one of them. I guess that’s something.

Hanley Ramirez is Still Doing the Damn Thing in the Dominican Winter League

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Yahoo – Hanley Ramirez’s comeback effort has begun in the Dominican Winter League. The former Red Sox slugger, currently playing for Tigres de Licey, reminded everyone he still has some pop with a home run on Sunday.

Despite nearly being wanted for (allegedly) drug trafficking in the good old United States, Hanley Ramirez is still doing the damn thing in the wildly entertaining Dominican Winter League. The Dominican League is how baseball should be played. The only thing bigger and louder than the crowds are the home runs and the bat flips. Something that would get you beaned in the head in the US is a prerequisite to playing in the Dominican League. Seeing a game down there is Bucket List stuff for sure.

One of Patriots All-Time Unsung Heroes Gets 8 Years in Prison

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Image result for brandon browner

It’s really been an AWFUL year for the once vaunted “Legion of Boom.”

Once perhaps the most fearsome quartet in the entire NFL, former Seahawks defensive secondary mates Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor, Earl Thomas, and Brandon Browner probably can’t wait for 2018 to finally be over in a just a few weeks.

Sherman had an ugly breakup with the team last offseason and is stuck in San Francisco. Chancellor suffered a severe neck injury at the end of 2017 and, while still technically on the Seahawks roster, looks like he might be forced to hang ’em up for good. Thomas – after a very public contract dispute and self-promotion campaign – sustained a gruesome leg injury against the Cardinals this past September, effectively ending his season and, most likely, also his career in Seattle.

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This will likely forever be known as Thomas’s swan song in a Seattle uniform.

But nobody’s having a worse time than Brandon Browner right now, as the 34-year-old, two-time Super Bowl champion was sentenced to eight years in prison today after committing a ridiculous string of crimes – including FOUR felonies – over the past year alone.

Rather than regale you with the details of Browner’s abhorrent spree – which includes everything from making threats to drug possession to burglary and, finally, to both attempted kidnapping AND attempted murder – the guy has gone completely off the rails. It’s a really sad story, but I guess it’s not so surprising coming from a guy who wasn’t very well-liked outside of his own locker room and who also set the NFL record for penalties in a single season in 2015.

What’s really sad about all of it, though, is the fact that Browner should truly be considered one of the most important players in Patriots history, but his memory will now be forever grossly tainted.

I’m dead serious. Hear me out.

There’s a huge difference between being one of the “greatest” and one of the “most important,” and Browner is certainly one of the latter. While everyone gives Malcolm Butler all the credit for picking off Russell Wilson to end Super Bowl XLIX, giving the Pats their fourth championship, it probably doesn’t happen without Browner.

Watch No. 39 in the bottom right corner of the screen for the duration of the play before Butler makes the interception:

Did you see what he did there? He sets an absolutely PERFECT pick on Seahawks then-No. 1 wide receiver Jermaine Kearse, allowing Butler to sneak around the block and cut off what would have been a perfect, wide-open throwing lane for Wilson, which would have resulted in a cupcake touchdown for Seattle and a heartbreaking defeat for the Pats.

Yes, Butler still needs to catch the ball. And no, I’m not saying Browner deserves all the shine – after all, Butler was the one had to actually haul it in. I am saying, though, that if Browner isn’t there on that play, Tom Brady still only has four rings to his name. No doubt in my mind.

Image result for tom brady brandon browner

It’s hard to find much out there about Browner’s vital involvement on the play, but at least Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio agrees with me: (link to Florio’s take). Browner’s strong play all year was also a huge part of the reason the Pats were even there in the first place.

But look, I’m not trying to sit here and wax poetic about a guy who absolutely deserves to be put away for a long time after everything he’s done. I’m just saying that it’s obvious this man has always had some issues up top, and it’s sad he never received the help he so desperately needed.

Maybe his antics throughout his entire career – and the almost unbelievable crimes he’s committed recently – were truly a cry for help, or at least a neon-bright sign for an unstable individual. Or maybe he’s really just a P.O.S. and I’m an asshole for saying anything nice about him. Regardless, here’s to hoping eight years in the pen allows Browner to finally find his peace – for both he and everyone else around him’s sake.

Run Tommy, Run is the Tom Brady 1K Documentary You Never Knew You Needed

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People make these fake A Football Life trailers for all kinds of stuff and they’re usually terrible, but this one is very well done. Barry Sanders crushes it with his 50 yards a season line. We also see cameos from Willie McGinest, Terrell Davis, even media guys like old friend Mike Giardi.

At this blistering pace who knows how many rushing yards Brady can rack up before he calls it a career? 1,100? 1,200?! God willing.

Is Josh McDaniels Salivating at the Suddenly Open Green Bay Packers Job?

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Yahoo – With Mike McCarthy out for the Green Bay Packers on Sunday night, a new question will orbit the franchise for the next month or two: Could New England Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels be the next man in?

A handful of NFL assistant coaches have indicated interest in joining a McDaniels-led coaching staff in Green Bay, according to sources who spoke to Yahoo Sports on Sunday. So much so that at least one has pulled his name from consideration for a college coordinator position. While such a development doesn’t guarantee mutual interest between the Packers and McDaniels, it is an indication the Patriots assistant is maintaining a list of staff candidates if he chooses to depart New England.

It remains to be seen whether the Packers would entertain a McDaniels pursuit, something that seemed unthinkable less than 10 months ago after McDaniels agreed to and then reneged on a commitment to take over the Indianapolis Colts. But league sources told Yahoo Sports as far back as last summer that McDaniels didn’t consider himself to be “burned” when it came to future head-coaching opportunities.

Is Josh McDaniels salivating at the suddenly open Green Bay Packers coaching position? He’d be crazy not to. ESPN can write 10,000 word exposes preaching fire and brimstone, sports talk radio can predict doom and gloom, but I’m telling you Bill Belichick is not going anywhere. This is a man who has lived and breathed football and nothing but football (OK maybe a little lacrosse) his entire life. I fully expect him to go the Joe Gibbs (retired at 67), Tom Coughlin (last coached at 69), Pete Carroll route and coach well into his late 60s. Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if Belichick coaches until his late 70s. What else is he gonna do?

So if you’re Josh McDaniels maybe you’re starting to slowly realize that now. It would help explain him leaving the Colts at the altar and turning down that job at the 11th hour. Or maybe he’s known Bill’s not going anywhere for quite some time and was simply scared off by Andrew Luck’s fusilli pasta shoulder.

However, now some PRIME jobs have come open including one with the No. 1 overall pick in Baker Mayfield, whom the Patriots reportedly coveted. If you’re into conspiracy theories, one of the biggest ones of 2018 was that the Patriots were ready to trade Gronk to the Detroit Lions for a first round pick. This came after the Patriots had already traded Brandin Cooks for a first round pick to go along with their own 1st rounder. So New England would have had three first round picks…and the old Jimmy Johnson Draft Pick Value Chart would have pegged these three picks as exactly what the Pats would have needed to trade all the way up to…No. 1 overall. Just some food for though.

The Browns are plagued by godawful ownership though as they’ll be looking for their 4th head coach in 5 years. Not exactly a stable work environment, especially for a guy who flamed out spectacularly in his first head coaching gig in Denver. Something tells me McDaniels is looking for somewhere with a bit more security. Now if only a coaching job with a great quarterback AND competent, patient management was available.

Like say…Green Bay?

With Mike McCarthy getting axed after 13 seasons in Green Bay, this looks like a prime situation for McDaniels. Sure Aaron Rodgers is 35-years-old, but he is still one of if not the best quarterback in the NFL with stable ownership. McDaniels could look at a situation with another aging, stubborn vet in Rodgers and potentially meddlesome ownership and think he’s better off with a younger quarterback where he’ll have a bit more leash to work with.

I have to admit, I completely belly laughed at anyone who said Josh McDaniels would never get another look as a head coach in the NFL. What an absolutely ridiculous statement to make. This is a league that routinely employs wife beaters, degenerates, and drug addicts as long as they can perform. So you think just because the guy was a giant asshole one time that nobody will hire him ever again? His boss is the biggest asshole in the league and he’s also the most successful coach in the league. Not that you necessarily need to be a giant asshole to succeed, but it sure as shit won’t preclude you from any job openings.

Big Z also made some more salient points in the immediate aftermath of the McDaniels decision to spurn the Colts. 

“McDaniels’ decision to stay in New England as offensive coordinator really is shocking. But maybe it shouldn’t be. McDaniels might not actually be worried about finding another job outside of New England. If he went to Indy and things went south in a hurry, it’s possible he wouldn’t get another head coaching opportunity anyways. McDaniels already had one tough stint in Denver. A few disappointing years in Indy could turn him into Eric Mangini.”

OddsShark recently tweeted that Bovada actually has McDaniels as the hands down favorite to become the next Packers head coach for what its worth.

With the Sean McVays (a hire I loved at the time) and the Matt Nagys of the world having so much success as young offensive minds, McDaniels will undoubtedly be back in the mix this offseason if he truly wants to be.

For all the questions surrounding what happened with Indy, why this will be different than his time in Denver, and how well will he do without Tom Brady, there is clearly still a mountain of interest in the guy.

“As one league executive told Yahoo Sports of McDaniels during training camp, “He’s still a young offensive coach who is extremely smart and creative, and that’s something everyone wants now. When the next [hiring cycle] comes, nobody will really care what he did to the Colts if they think they need him. Especially if there aren’t a lot of good guys to choose from.”

So if he wants another shot, it’s there.

 

Seattle Just Got an NHL Franchise

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We all knew the day was coming to get the NHL to 32 teams. Vegas joined the league last year in what wound up being the most successful run by an expansion franchise in their inaugural season ever. Seattle will begin play in the 2021-2022 season, the same year my Islanders get their new arena in Belmont. Seattle’s arena situation is a bit different though. They would be playing in a newly renovated KeyArena, which is going under a $700 million overall. When construction is finished, the rink will seat 17,400 for hockey and 18,600 for basketball (pending they’re able to convince the NBA to bring home the Sonics).

Bringing the NHL to a total of 32 teams comes with some obvious changes. First of all, it would require a bit of realignment in the pacific division. The Western Conference currently sits at eight teams in the Pacific with seven in the Central, and if you’ve recently seen where Seattle lines up on a map, you’ll know that they’d have to be placed in the Pacific for this to make any sense. This will require movement from one of the existing Pacific teams, which most experts are pinning on the Arizona Coyotes to make the jump to the Central.

The expansion of a Seattle franchise also will require another expansion draft, a process that seemingly worked out very well for the Vegas Golden Knights last time around. All teams will be able to protect a certain combination of players like in the previous Vegas expansion draft. Bill Daly has confirmed June 2021 for Seattle’s draft. All I can say is if the Seattle franchise can select half as decent as the Golden Knights did, we’ll be in for a competitive team right off the bat.

Finally, the team will need to settle on a name. The Seattle Metropolitans is one I keep seeing thrown around, based on the history the name has with the city.

Over 100 years ago, the Seattle Metropolitans were the first American franchise to ever win the Stanley Cup, before the NHL was even formed. Some are pushing to reinstate that name for the incoming team, but as a lifelong New York Mets fan team, I do not wish that bad juju on anyone.

Urban Meyer to Retire After the Rose Bowl….But For How Long?

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10TV – The Ohio State athletics department announces that head coach Urban Meyer will announce his retirement on Tuesday afternoon.

All in all this is just plain confusing. There was speculation Meyer was not feeling too hot a few weeks ago but to most non-lunatic eyes it looked like he was just another overly exasperated coach. Ho hum. Now he is retiring, on the precipice of a Rose Bowl, so maybe he wasn’t doing so hot? Or maybe getting players to come to fucking Ohio just isn’t as easy as Florida? Who knows.

Red doesn’t like me inserting my own biases to bash people on here, but I’m being about as neutral as possible when I say Urban Meyer is the most hateable person in college football next to Nick Saban. Between “leaving Florida for his health” after Tebow was gone to never actually developing his beloved Tebow to be an NFL QB in the first place, to kind of just coming off as a dbag, there really isn’t a whole lot to like. He’s been successful, sure, from Utah all the way up to Ohio State, but not without controversy (Aaron Hernandez, his asshole of a domestic abuser coach this year etc.) and not without just sort of rubbing people the wrong way.

So now that he is “retiring” from Ohio State, what is his next move really? One would assume his first stop is back in the TV studio/booth, but how about after that? My bet? I could see one of the premier teams that have about a season’s left of patience with their current coach reaching out to Urban Meyer after this year. Think LSU, Texas, USC, one of those. At that point he’ll be suddenly 100% healthy and ready to turn a blind eye to battering coaches and homicidal players alike.

I don’t know which would be less shocking, his come back or this “retirement”/

 

-Joey B