Tag: Chiefs

Patriots Chiefs Postgame Thoughts and Quick-Hitters

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The Patriots remain in a first-place tie with the Miami Dolphins atop the AFC East after beating the Kansas City Chiefs in an intense battle on Sunday night. What a helluva a game it was, too. It truly was a blast from start to finish.

While I may have been off by 10 points on each side, I still pretty much nailed the game script in my preview last week – I said the Pats would win 33-30 on a late field goal; the Pats won 43-40 on a last-second field goal – and nobody should’ve been shocked by the sheer show of offensive force by either side last night.

As Belichick always says, the game wasn’t perfect and there are still some things to work on, but overall I think Pats Nation can feel pretty good about the team’s Week 6 victory. Here are a few other quick takeaways from the game to check out before you get your week started.

Josh Gordon Officially Unleashed

New England Patriots wide receiver Josh Gordon, center, runs after catching a pass, as Kansas City Chiefs defensive back Orlando Scandrick (22) and defensive end Allen Bailey (97) defend during the first half of an NFL football game, Sunday, Oct. 14, 2018, in Foxborough, Mass. (AP Photo/Michael Dwyer)

Looking purely at his stat line – five receptions for 42 yards and no scores – you might think using the term “unleashed” is a bit over the top. But when you consider the fact that he led the team with nine targets and played on 81 percent of the team’s snaps, I think it’s safe to say the training wheels have definitely been removed. (As relayed by Fantasy Pros, he also led the team in routes run [35], target share [26%], and air yards share [29%]. The guy could actually be on the verge of EXPLODING.) For someone who many assumed to be a bit volatile between the ears, there should be no doubt about his football I.Q., as he has learned the playbook very quickly and has been receiving quite the praise from teammates and coaches alike. While he’ll continue to have a lot of competition for targets all season long, he’s obviously going to be a big part of this offense moving forward and has pacified any and all fears of him “not fitting in.” This move could turn out to be an absolute steal by the Pats. #FlashGordon

Sony Michel Continues to Impress

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The rookie kept on rolling last night, rushing for over 100 yards for the second time in the past three games – in the other game he finished just short of the century mark, with 98 yards – and he is now averaging a healthy 4.4 yards per carry on the season. He was also able to punch the ball in twice on the goal line and picked up some very tough ground in other short-yardage situations, including a big conversion on 3rd-and-1 with just under two minutes to go in the game. In fact, both Brady and Belichick mentioned Michel’s short-yardage prowess in their post-game pressers, with both also alluding to the fact that the team’s previous struggles in this area were a big reason why they lost to Kansas City in last year’s season-opener. Michel, while not nearly as big, is the team’s best power back since LeGarrette Blount, and he runs with a beautiful combination of violence and agility. As long as those balky knees hold up, we might have a freakin’ stud in this kid.

I See You, Pass-Rush

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A week ago, I wrote a piece sounding the alarm on the Patriots pass-rush, basically saying there wasn’t one and that we should maybe start worrying about the boys up front on D. However, even though the team finished with no sacks and just three QB hits on Sunday night, much of that had to do with Patrick Mahomes’s mobility and elusiveness, and it was hard not to notice the improved pressure the team was creating. Adrian Clayborn particularly looked great, bull-rushing his way into the backfield on what seemed like every play, especially early on. Trey Flowers had a solid game as well, finishing with a QB hit and seven total tackles, including one for a loss. Besides a few big plays – and I mean BIG plays in which the Chiefs gained a lot of yards – I thought the defense was actually a positive overall last night (yes, even after allowing 40 points).

So, again, there’s certainly a lot to be happy about from Sunday night, and the Pats proved that they’re at least still one of the AFC’s top contenders, if not the entire NFL. Next up is a matchup with the 3-2 Chicago Bears next Sunday at Soldier Field, and as always be sure to check back in with The 300s on Thursday for the game preview.

Sunday Night Was the Definition of First World Problems for Boston Fans

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When I was in Buffalo last week I half kidding, but half seriously complained to the surrounding Bills fans about how many night games the Patriots are forced to play only to be met by mocking groans.

Yes, only the best of the best consistently play primetime games, but I am also completely and utterly washed so staying up until midnight on a Sunday night is a feat of strength in itself.

If not for pure and unadulterated content like this I never would have made it:

The Red Sox won Game 2 of the ALCS and David Price did not completely implode last night, which was moderately encouraging to see. He did not however pitch all that well and left the game in the 4th inning so he technically was not eligible for his first postseason win. Leaving the game after 4 2/3 IP having given up 4 runs with 2 men on, Price was greeted to a standing ovation by the Fenway faithful. I’m sorry, but the people have gone soft. After Price gave up a 2-run HR moonshot to Marwin Gonzalez in the 3rd inning I honestly just felt bad for the guy. He wasn’t pitching well, he keeps stumbling in the playoffs, and just looks like he wants to go home. So it is with no malice in my heart when I say this, but a standing ovation for 4.2 IP and 4 earned runs? Ridiculous.

Now the real shame of last night was while the Red Sox were slugging it out for American League supremacy, the Patriots were playing one of the most hyped games of the season against the electric Kansas City Chiefs and I was physically unable to watch both. I was far too lazy to drag out a second TV and reorganize all the cable boxes for 3 hours of entertainment. That would have meant having to rearrange everything afterwards. Pass.

So I was just flipping back and forth and was able to watch the last 3 minutes of the Pats game as they showed why they are the modern day dynasty with a crazy last second comeback. However, I woke up this morning with an excruciating pang of FOMO. Patriots 43 Chiefs 40 with a game winning field goal as time expired. And I watched about 10 minutes of the entire thing. Now I have to try and track down one of those 2 hour reruns of the game on NFL Network or something so I can feel whole again.

Patriots Chiefs Week 6 Game Preview, Odds, and Things to Watch For

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Two straight wins have vaulted the Pats right back up to the top of the AFC East heading into Week 6. Go ahead and smile, Pats Nation. It’s OK. But don’t get too cocky, as the SCORCHING-HOT, undefeated Kansas City Chiefs are coming to town this weekend for a Sunday night showdown.

As always, here’s a quick look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:

  • Location: Gillette Stadium (Foxborough, MA)
  • Kickoff: Sunday, Oct. 14, 8:20 p.m. ET
  • TV: NBC
  • Odds (via Odds Shark): Patriots: -3.5 (spread)/Patriots: -175 (moneyline)/59.5 (total)

Just by looking at the numbers, you can see that this one is expected to be a barn burner and an absolute shoot-out. In fact, the current 59.5-point total is slated to be the second-highest over/under for any game within the last 15 years (just behind the 60-point total which closed for a game between the Chiefs and Raiders in 2003). Points are going to be scored in this one. Get ready for some major offensive firepower – on both sides.

The Chiefs currently have the league’s fourth-ranked offense and are averaging 35 points per game, which is the second-highest mark in the league behind the New Orleans Saints. The team is being led by MVP-candidate Patrick Mahomes, a second-year quarterback who was given the keys to the car this year and has rewarded Kansas City for that move with a league-leading 16 total touchdowns so far.

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Here’s Mahomes – probably getting ready to embarrass some poor defensive back in front of thousands of people.

It’s worth noting that he’s only got a five-game track record – six, if you want to include the one game he started as a rookie last year – and young signal-callers usually end up defecating all over themselves their first time playing in Foxborough. But this kid has been absolutely electric this year, and while Belichick probably has a few tricks up his sleeve to slow Mahomes down, the Pats defense just doesn’t have the talent needed to shut down a player of his caliber completely.

Mahomes’s historic season has certainly been aided by the plethora of offensive weapons at his disposal. Seriously, this offense is LOADED. Tyreek Hill is one of the league’s most explosive talents at wide receiver. Travis Kelce is the easily best tight end behind Gronk. Former first-rounder Sammy Watkins is a solid, albeit inconsistent, No. 3 option in the passing game. And Kareem Hunt – last season’s league-leading rusher – is off to another great start with 376 yards on the ground so far, good for fourth in the league. (Oddly, though, for a guy who had over 50 catches last year, Hunt is not getting the ball thrown his way anymore and has just five receptions in 2018. Mahomes has pretty much been getting it done with his wide receivers and tight ends all year.)

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Hunt (27), Hill (10), and Kelce (87) are one nasty trio.

Fortunately, the Chiefs’ defense is ranked dead-last in the NFL, and they have given up by far the most passing yards in the league. Therefore, Brady & Co. should have no trouble keeping up on the scoreboard. And while our defense doesn’t come without it’s own issues (gee, have I mentioned that before?), I have much more confidence in the Pats’ ability to stem the tide than I do the Chiefs.

Also, after coming out EN FUEGO the first few weeks, Mahomes is actually starting to come back down to earth. Over the past two weeks, he’s only thrown for one score while tossing two picks; the yards have still have still been there, though, and the team hasn’t lost, so he’s still moving the ball. However, maybe he’s not completely impossible to stop after all.

Storylines

(Can Jason McCourty Solidify His Spot in the Secondary?): After going from exciting new offseason addition to potential final-roster cut candidate and starting the season buried on the depth chart, Jason McCourty has played outstanding the past couple of weeks and seems to be quite rejuvenated. He’s truly been one of the team’s very best defenders and was all over the Colts receivers last Thursday night. Eric Rowe, who started the season as the team’s No. 2 corner, is now probably unlikely to reclaim his starting spot when he returns from injury. That is, of course, unless McCourty gets torched by Mahomes and his minions this week. This is a huge game for Jason McCourty, and I’ll be watching him very closely on Sunday night.

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You’ve been playing great lately, Jason. Don’t blow it.

(Will Chris Hogan Finally Wake Up?): There is no doubt that Hogan has been one of the team’s biggest disappointments this season. With Julian Edelman out for the first four weeks of the season and a dearth of other receiving options on the team, many expected Hogan to serve as a bona fide No. 1 wide-out for as long as needed. Except for a lucky two-touchdown game in Week 2 against the Jags, Hogan has yet to surpass 34 yards in a game this season. There’s also two games this year where he’s hauled in just one pass. To be fair, he hasn’t been getting many targets, but that probably has to do with him being unable to get any separation. I believe Hogan is much better served as a No. 2 or 3 option in an offense, and Edelman’s return should actually open more things up for him. But if he can’t get it going against Kansas City’s horrendous pass-coverage, YIKES.

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EARTH TO CHRIS HOGAN! Where ya been, bud?

(Two of the Best Minds in the Game Go Head-to-Head): I’m pretty sure by now everyone’s heard of that guy Bill Belichick and how great of a coach he is. And even the most casual of NFL fans should know about Andy Reid, now in his sixth year as head coach of the Chiefs after spending 13 years as the leading man in Philadelphia. Both men have a pretty extensive track record of success, but I’m unsure if people realize just how much of an offensive visionary Reid is. Not only are his offenses always near the top of the league each season, but he was the one who decided to go all in and draft Mahomes last season, even when most others throughout the franchise were fine sticking with Alex Smith. The guy is an offensive visionary, and this will be a fun chess match to watch between two of the game’s best and brightest.

Prediction

As I said, this one is going to be a whirlwind, with tons of yards and points galore. I do think the Pats will tame Mahomes much more than people expect, but don’t forget about Kareem Hunt and the running game; this is not a one-dimensional offense. This one could be a real boxing match, with both teams trading blows all night long. In the end, I think the Pats benefit from some home cooking and eek out a win, 33-30, with a late Stephen Gostkowski field goal.

Travis Kelce is Bizarro Ben Watson After Big Timing His Own Team

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In another edition of Thank God I’m a Patriots fan, we have Travis Kelce completely big timing his own team after another shitty Alex Smith interception.

Listen it must be enraging to play with Alex Smith. The guy sucks, then he doesn’t, then he plays at an MVP level at the beginning of this season, but it seems like he’s finally turned back into a pumpkin. And for a really good tight end like Kelce thats gotta be a pain in the ass to deal with, but you’re also a captain my man so being a massive dickhead by throwing your arms up in the air and giving up on a play is not a good look.

In contrast lets take a look at the classic play by Ben Watson against the Broncos years ago when Brady threw an absolute back breaker of an interception.

Unlike Kelce, Watson busts his balls, running from the other side of the field and sprinting around defenders to chase down All-Pro cornerback Champ Bailey at the Patriots goal line. Watson runs at least 110 yards full speed to catch one of the best athletes of our generation and fucking SMOKE Bailey to force the fumble. Didn’t win us the game, but was an all effort play that basically gave Watson a free pass in my brain for all those passes he dropped over the years. Hell I used to joke with my brother that I wonder if Ben Watson’s wife lets him hold the baby. But after that play, I’ll let it slide. Not to mention he’s STILL in the league, playing for the Ravens now. So, long story short, Travis Kelce is bizarro Ben Watson.

PS – In the interest of full disclosure I must confess to having watched several episodes of Catching Kelce while hungover on the couch. Goddamn VH1 just makes such awesomely bad shows I binge watch the shit out of while nursing a hangover.

I also have seen many episodes of Eric Decker’s VH1 show Eric & Jessie.

Okay, now I feel better.

 

Prettyyyy Sure You Can’t Do That, Marshawn Lynch

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Little bit of extra curricular activity from the Chiefs defensive line on Thursday Night Football and Marshawn Lynch was NOT having it.

Pretty sure leaving the sideline to rough house with the refs is frowned upon, but we’ll see how the Ginger Hammer feels about it.

Thursday Night Pick Em: Chiefs vs Raiders (Bonus: Color Rush Breakdown)

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As always, all our lines come from the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Tonight we’ve got the Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 47) at Oakland Raiders.

Derek Carr still doesn’t look right, not surprisingly, just a couple of weeks after breaking his fucking back. So the Raiders are hard to trust here. Especially with the hottest team in the NFL coming to town in the Kansas City Chiefs. Travis Kelce is back, allegedly, to 100% after a concussion, Kareem Hunt is still the most electric RB in the league, and Tyreek Hill is still on this team. Not to mention Alex Smith is FEELING himself for the first time in a long time. No more checkdown Alex safe throw Smith. Dude is letting it fly. Sure being in a contract year with a QB drafted in the 1st Round behind you probably doesn’t hurt, but the guy has some legit weapons around him in KC for the first time. KC is a (-3) point favorite and that is easy money. That is nothing. Slap your money down on the table confidently and sit back and watch the Chiefs make us all rich.

Now, onto the unis.

I’ve heard a lot of Raiders fans complaining about the Color Rush jerseys, with Oakland going white on white tonight. It does seem like a missed opportunity to have a total blackout. Just go old school villain, make everything black, but nay. The Chefs are going red on red, which is a good look, but they’re both wearing the same uni combos when they played each other last year. Should’ve been Raiders decked out in black with the Chiefs rocking all yellow with red highlights. Now thats a Color Rush I can get excited about. And if you complain about that because you’re colorblind well then tough shit; Thursday Night Football just isn’t for you then.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 5

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Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (9-6)

Another week, another one of the worst beats I’ve ever seen in a football game with the ending of that Kansas City game. Just ruthless. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 5 in the NFL, LETS GO


New England Patriots (-5.5, 55.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I picked the Pats to cover and cover they did.

Sunday, Oct. 8
1 p.m. ET

New York Jets at Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 39)
There’s no way you’re going to actually put money on the Browns as a favorite are you? I sure as shit am not going to. I’ll take the Jets here.

Carolina Panthers at Detroit Lions (-3, 44)
Coming off their walkoff win over the Patriots, the Panthers have some momentum heading into Detroit. But the Lions are looking legit this year sitting at 3-1 in first place in the NFC North. It seems the Panthers are slowly figuring out the best way to use Christian McCaffrey with Jonathan Stewart together though so I’m taking the Panthers to cover here.

San Francisco 49ers at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5, 43.5)


Tennessee Titans (NL) at Miami Dolphins
No Line for this game, so nothing to see here.

Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 38)
Call me crazy, I’m taking the Bills here. I like Tyrod Taylor to have a big game against the struggling Bengals.

Los Angeles Chargers at New York Giants (-3.5, 44.5)
A battle of two 0-4 teams. Woof. I’ve been picking the Chargers all year and they keep disappointing so its hard to rely on them here. Giants are in the same boat, but with a fully healthy Odell Beckham I think they finally get on the board here. I’ll take the G-Men to cover.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh Steelers (-8.5, 44)
Steelers are pretty big favorites at (-8.5) so thats asking a lot, but it is the Jaguars. I can definitely see Pittsburgh winning by 10. Fournette’s been solid in his first year rushing for 285 yards and 3 TDs, but Big Ben is rolling with Antonio Brown whos got 30 catches for 388 yards and a score. So I’m taking the Steelers to cover the big spread.

Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5, 45)
Eagles look like they’ve found their QB of the future with Carson Wentz and while I’m still bummed about Short Guy Hall of Famer Darren Sproles going down, Philly is still rolling along. Not a huge fan of old man Carson Palmer, especially with the non-existant run gam post David Johnson, so I’m taking the Eagles to cover.

4 p.m. ET
Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 47)
You gotta be shitting me? I know the Rams are off to a 3-1 start, but I refuse to take them as favorites over the Seahawks on a (-2.5) spread. Put some respeck on Seattle’s name. I’m taking Dangeruss and the Seahawks here.


Baltimore Ravens (NL) at Oakland Raiders
Seems to be a lot of No Lines this season, soo nothing to bet on here.

 

Green Bay Packers at Dallas Cowboys (-2, 52.5)
Its hard to bet against the Packers, who are 3-1 on the season going against the 2-2 Cowboys. The Pack just continue to plug and play guys like Aaron Jones and not miss a beat, but I like Dallas here. Feed Zeke all night long and win by a FG, I’ll take the Boys.


Kansas City Chiefs (NL) at Houston Texans
Another game with No Line. Moving on.

Monday, Oct. 9
8:30 p.m. ET


Minnesota Vikings (NL) at Chicago Bears
No reason to watch MNF if theres No Line. Carry on.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 4

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Week 3 was a rollercoaster with a lot of upsets that I did not see coming (I’m looking at you Denver), but Week 4 is a new day. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 4 in the NFL, LETS GO.

Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (6-9)

Thursday, Sept. 28
Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers (-7, 45.5)
The Bears just keep making me look bad, but I refuse to put my hard earned dollars on Mike Glennon. And I need to see back to back solid games out of Jordan Howard before I trust him. Usually the tired rhetoric about Thursday Night Football is its sloppy, the passing is out of sync and teams lean on their running game. Welp, the Rams and Niners blew that one up last week. So I’m taking the Packers to cover here.

Sunday, Oct. 1
9:30 a.m. ET (at London)
New Orleans Saints (-3, 49.5) vs. Miami Dolphins
I gotta go Saints here. I know they’ve been up and down, but I don’t know if Smokin Jay Cutler and the Dolphins have enough offensive firepower to keep up with the saints. Saints will cover.

1 p.m. ET
Carolina Panthers at New England Patriots (-9, 48.5)
Another big spread for the Pats at (-9) which is a tricky one because the Panthers have been pretty shaky so far this year, but similar to last week against Deshaun Watson, the Pats have historically struggled against mobile QBs. I think its gonna be a game the Pats pull away, but Panthers make it respectable. I got Patriots by 10 to cover.

Los Angeles Rams at Dallas Cowboys (-7.5, 46)
Rams looked great last week putting up 41 points buttt that was on San Francisco. Cowboys gotta win by more than a TD here, whereas the Rams haven’t lost by more than 7 yet this season and have put up 40+ points twice already. But again the competition has been pretty mediocre (Indy, Washington, San Fran) so I’m picking the Cowboys to keep rolling and cover.

Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings (no line)
Does Westgate have something against the Vikings? There’s no line for them for the second week in a row.

Tennessee Titans (-1.5, 44) at Houston Texans
Texans could go one of two ways in this game. Defeated and beat down after dropping a game they probably should have won to the Patriots last week or they’ll come firing out of the gates for sticking with the best team in football for 58 minutes last week. I think Deshaun Watson found his groove last week so I’m taking the Texans to cover here.

Jacksonville Jaguars (-3.5, 39.5) at New York Jets
Bet on this game at your own risk. Jags cruised to victory last week, but they’re more of a running team these days and the Jets have a solid D-line if nothing else. Jets surprised me last week with a W over the Dolphins, but I think Fournette and the gang are too much for the Jets here. Jags cover.

Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 40) at Cleveland Browns
Another game I cringe to even put money on, but hey thats what leaders do, they take the ball and they bring their team down the field. Bengals shit the bed last week, but Cleveland cannot be trusted. Bengals cover.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3, 43.5) at Baltimore Ravens
Ravens had an absolutely embarrassing game last week so they should bounce back. Problem is though, so did the Steelers. After losing in OT to the goddamn Bears, I expect Big Ben and co. to smash the Ravens. Steelers cover.

Buffalo Bills at Atlanta Falcons (-8, 48.5)
Bills are sneaky tied for 1st place in the AFC East and look a lot better than most people thought they would before the season. I think the Bills keep it within a score and cover.

4 p.m. ET
New York Giants at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3, 44)
This year’s Hard Knocks darlings have yet to beat anyone great yet as their first game got postponed, then they beat the Bears, and then got smoked by the Vikings last week. ODB looks healthy once again, but the Giants are 0-3 and could be reeling so I’m going with the Bucs to cover.

Philadelphia Eagles at Los Angeles Chargers (-1, 47)
Despite being 0-3, the Chargers have had some bad breaks and could easily be 2-1 so I think they’re due, plus it likely will take the Eagles a little while to figure out how to best replace Darren Sproles with Smallwood and others. Chargers are due, I’m picking them to cover.

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (-7, 44.5)
The Niners got blown out in their opener, but then nearly beat Seattle in Week 2, which looking back now seems to have more to do with the Seahawks offensive line than anything. Then they kept it close before losing to the Rams last week. Arizona looks to rebound after an L in Dallas in which Larry Fitzgerald looked 10 years younger. Their running game is still a disaster without David Johnson, but wth Fitz and Jaron Brown stepping up in the receiving core I’m picking the Cardinals to cover.

Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos (-2.5, 46.5)
This is a heavyweight matchup of AFC playoff teams and the Broncos are favored by a FG. Both teams had disappointing losses last week so everyone’s looking to get back on track. Oakland has been leaning on Marshawn Lynch here early and Denver is one of the worst teams to try and run on so I’m going with the Broncos to cover here.

8:30 p.m. ET
Indianapolis Colts at Seattle Seahawks (-13, 41.5)
God the Colts suck, but a two TD spread is huge for a team thats been struggling offensively. As much as I want to pick the Colts, Russell Wilson looked great last week and if the Seahawks can get him out of the pocket he’ll shred the Colts D. So while I usually hate picking the favorite in huge spreads like this, Dangeruss is looking good, and the Seahawks are at home where they are loud as shit. I’ll take Seattle to cover.

Monday, Oct. 2
Washington Redskins at Kansas City Chiefs (-7, 49.5)
I’m going to continue to roll with the Chiefs who have looked awesome so far this year. Kareem Hunt is scary good and the R-words have yet to really find a groove as guys like Terrell Pryor continue to underwhelm. I got the Chiefs covering here.

Picking Up the Pieces: Gambling NFL Week 3

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Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (8-7)
This week (6-9)

Whats that saying? Fall down 9 times, get up 10? Yea, well sometimes that applies to gambling, especially when you get your dick ripped out on the first game of the week on a backdoor cover. Rebounded nicely from our 0-5 start to finish the week at 6-9. Can’t win em all.

Thursday, Sept. 21
Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 40) at San Francisco 49ers

Bad beat of the year. I wrote a blog entirely about how badly screwed anyone who took the Rams got on this one.
Our pick: Rams to cover the (-2.5) spread…they won by 2. So thats an L. (0-1)

Sunday, Sept. 24
Baltimore Ravens (-4, 39) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

What an absolute abortion this game was. Those poor London fans, even when Jacksonville is good they get a shit game. Jags put the smackdown on Flacco and the Ravens, winning 44-7. Yuck.
Our pick: Ravens to cover. Thats an L. (0-2)

Denver Broncos (-3, 40.5) at Buffalo Bills

This is shaping up to be a disaster for gamblers everywhere. Did not see the Broncos folding like they did in this one, especially after how well Trevor Siemian had played the first two games. Bills are now tied for first place in the AFC East.
Our pick: Broncos to cover. Thats an L. (0-3)

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-6, 48)

Wrong again dickhead. Despite a 100+ yard receiving game from Christian McCaffrey, the Panthers couldn’t even put two touchdowns up as the Saints cruised to a 34-13 win. Damn.
Our pick: Panthers to cover. Thats an L. (0-4)

Pittsburgh Steelers (-7.5, 45.5) at Chicago Bears

THIS WEDDING IS HORSESHIT. If you picked the Bears to beat the Steelers you are lying and I don’t associate with liars. Bears top Pittsburgh in OT behind Jordan Howards 34 points (on my fantasy bench).
Our pick: Steelers to cover. Thats a big L. (0-5)

Atlanta Falcons (-3, 49) at Detroit Lions

Okay if the Rams game was the bad beat of the year, this is the bad beat of the century IF you bet on the Lions. Thankfully I did not because I would have smashed my TV. Lions got a walkoff TD erased by a questionable replay review and per the rules the cluck had a 10-second runoff leaving the Lions with their dick in their hands at the 1 yard line.
Our pick: Falcons to cover. Thats a W! (1-5)

Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 40) at Indianapolis Colts

Here’s what I said last week: “This is the first game the Browns have been favored to win since 2015! So tread lightly here. But I like what I saw out of rookie receiver Rashard Higgins last week (7 catches, 95 yards) and the Colts are still starting the Patriots 3rd-string QB. While it is with great trepidation, I’m taking the Browns to cover. Well guess what? The Browns did not cover. Shocking, I know. And Rashard Higgins did nothing despite being freshly inserted into my fantasy lineup. Colts won 31-28.
Our pick: Browns to cover. Thats an L. (1-6)

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (no line)

Westgate had no line on this game. Soo we didn’t bet it.

Houston Texans at New England Patriots (-13, 43.5)

Patriots won 36-33, but as we predicted last week the (-13) spread was way too heavy for the Pats to cover. Here’s what I said last week: “While I told anyone and everyone to bet their house on the Pats routing the Saints last week, I’m not as confident in predicting a blowout here. The Texans defense is legit, especially upfront. And if you’ve been paying attention over the years, these are the types of teams that usually give the Pats trouble (except for last year when Brissett and co. wrecked them). But Pats also have historically struggled with mobile QBs and Deshaun Watson is that dude. So while I think the Pats win, I’m picking the Texans to cover.”
Our pick: Texans to cover. Thats a W. (2-6)

Miami Dolphins (-6, 41.5) at New York Jets

Basically every shit team won this past week, wrecking my bets across the board. The Jets throttled Smokin Jay Cutler and the Dolphins 20-6. Did not see that one coming.
Our pick: Dolphins to cover. Thats an L. (2-7)

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-6, 43)

Eagles won on a 61 yard FG as time expired, which was a goddamn BOOT. Eagles won, but only by 3 so they didn’t cover the (-6) point spread. What I said last week was “until ODB proves to me he is 100% I’m not picking the Giants because they’re just not that good without him. Plus Carson Wentz is playing well and Darren Sproles continues to be the most spry 34-year-old running back I’ve ever seen.” ODB looks to be back to his old self as he was scoring TDs and pretending to piss like a dog and I just jinxed Sproles who broke his arm AND tore his ACL on the SAME PLAY. What a disaster of a week.
Our pick: Eagles to cover. Thats an L. (2-8)

Seattle Seahawks at Tennessee Titans (-3, 43)

While the Seahawks seemingly are on the way back to being a solid offense again, the Titans topped them 33-27. I would like to just point out that even though I picked this game correctly, I also benched Russell Wilson on my fantasy team. And of course I lost because Dangeruss had 45 points on my bench. Goddamnit.
Our pick: Titans to cover. Thats a W. (3-8)

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers (-9, 44.5)

Nailed this one. Packers won 27-24 “The Bengals are a walking disaster right now. Andy Dalton is having the worst start of his career and Tyler Eifert is back into injury purgatory (is he hurt? is he not?) so Cincy is a tough pick. The Packers don’t look like world beaters either though with Rodgers throwing a ton of shitty passes while under duress last week. Is Green Bay (-9) points better than Cincy? I say no, I think its a closer game than that as both teams are struggling. Bengals cover.”
Our pick: Bengals to cover. Thats a W. (4-8)

 

Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 46) at Los Angeles Chargers

DING DING DING. I may not get em all right, but when I tell you to put big bucks down, you better be listening. “The Chiefs are rolling, put some big bucks down on them to cover this week…I think KC is one of the best bets of the week to cover.”
Our pick: Chiefs to cover. Thats a W. (5-8)

 

Oakland Raiders (-3, 54) at Washington Redskins

Whoops. Raiders ate a bag of dicks in this game and the R-words got back on track as they topped Oakland 27-10. What is happening in the NFL this week?
Our pick: Raiders to cover. Thats an L. (5-9)

Monday, Sept. 25
Dallas Cowboys (-3, 47) at Arizona Cardinals

At least the Cowboys showed up in primetime to take care of business, despite a fantasy no-show from Cole Beasley, complete with hilarious response. Dak, Zeke and Dez all looked great. Money won is always sweeter than money earned.
Our pick: Cowboys cover. Thats a W. (6-9)

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 3

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As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of Westgate so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 3 in the NFL, LETS GO.

Overall Record (8-7)
Last week (8-7)

Thursday, Sept. 21
Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 40) at San Francisco 49ers

Bet this one at your own risk because this has all the makings of an ugly game. But if I HAVE to make a pick, I’m going with the Rams to cover. Goff has looked decent and Cooper Kupp looks like the next young white slot receiver. Its crazy how one goes out (Edelman) and another immediately takes its place, like a goddamn snake.

Sunday, Sept. 24
9:30 a.m. ET (at London)
Baltimore Ravens (-4, 39) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

SUNDAY MORNING FOOTBALL IS BACK! Bloodys and bacon for kickoff. I LOVE London football because it means there are games on from when I wake up until when I go to bed. Sure, its a shitshow for the teams playing, but hey as long as its not my team. Jacksonville looked good Week 1 and then looked like shit in Week 2. I think that trend probably continues, especially so far from home. I’m taking the Ravens to cover here.

1 p.m. ET
Denver Broncos (-3, 40.5) at Buffalo Bills

The Broncos have looked excellent thus far as they shut down the high powered Cowboys and Ezekiel Elliott last week. They also look like they’ve stumbled onto something with Trevor Siemian under center, throwing four TDs last week. And as much as I love Tyrod Taylor, he’s throwing to a bunch of bums and rookies out there when Charles Clay isn’t catching it. Shady McCoy is still a beast, but I think the Broncos take it to the Bills in Buffalo and cover.

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-6, 48)

The Panthers barely got out of Week 2 alive, topping the Bills 9-3, so they’re not exactly firing on all cylinders. The Saints meanwhile are plagued by a swiss cheese defense for what feels like every year since they won the Super Bowl. Cam Newtons been getting banged up, but I think they still have enough to cover over the Saints.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-7.5, 45.5) at Chicago Bears

Bears are a dogshit football team and I cannot advise picking them in any situation outside of them playing the Jets or Browns. Antonio Brown, Leveon Bell, Martavis Bryant? Steelers roll.

Atlanta Falcons (-3, 49) at Detroit Lions

This will be an interesting game to watch. Atlanta got back on track against Green Bay last week and the Lions took it to the Giants on MNF. (-3) isn’t a huge favorite, which is why I’m going with the Falcons to cover. Remember, Detroit beat up on a NYG with a super limited Odell Beckham. Plus they murdered the Giants’ punter too.

Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 40) at Indianapolis Colts

This is the first game the Browns have been favored to win since 2015! So tread lightly here. But I like what I saw out of rookie receiver Rashard Higgins last week (7 catches, 95 yards) and the Colts are still starting the Patriots 3rd-string QB. While it is with great trepidation, I’m taking the Browns to cover.

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (no line)

Westgate had no line on this game. Cool.

Houston Texans at New England Patriots (-13, 43.5)

Jesus christ, another gigantic spread for the Pats to cover. Heavy lies the crown I guess. While I told anyone and everyone to bet their house on the Pats routing the Saints last week, I’m not as confident in predicting a blowout here. The Texans defense is legit, especially upfront. And if you’ve been paying attention over the years, these are the types of teams that usually give the Pats trouble (except for last year when Brissett and co. wrecked them). But Pats also have historically struggled with mobile QBs and Deshaun Watson is that dude. So while I think the Pats win, I’m picking the Texans to cover.

Miami Dolphins (-6, 41.5) at New York Jets

Theres no sugar coating it, the Jets are a brutal team to watch. They put up a decent fight in the first half last week against Oakland before getting stomped out in the second half. But I have very little faith in them week to week. I could see them staying with the Dolphins, but Smokin Jay Cutler looked very efficient last week and Miami’s run game is legit. So I’m picking the Dolphins to cover.

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-6, 43)

The Giants will continue to be an enigma until Odell Beckham is healthy and right, which who knows when that could be. Like I said last week, until ODB proves to me he is 100% I’m not picking the Giants because they’re just not that good without him. Plus Carson Wentz is playing well and Darren Sproles continues to be the most spry 34-year-old running back I’ve ever seen.

4 p.m. ET
Seattle Seahawks at Tennessee Titans (-3, 43)

The Seahawks offense is rip your hair out frustrating right now as the offensive line is a goddamn sieve. So until that shit improves, Russell looks like Dangeruss again (and saves my fantasy season) and someone takes that RB job (looking at you Chris Carson) then I’m not too confident picking the Hawks. For that reason I’ll go with the Titans and the Duck to cover.

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers (-9, 44.5)

The Bengals are a walking disaster right now. Andy Dalton is having the worst start of his career and Tyler Eifert is back into injury purgatory (is he hurt? is he not?) so Cincy is a tough pick. The Packers don’t look like world beaters either though with Rodgers throwing a ton of shitty passes while under duress last week. Is Green Bay (-9) points better than Cincy? I say no, I think its a closer game than that as both teams are struggling. Bengals cover.

Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 46) at Los Angeles Chargers

The Chiefs are rolling, put some big bucks down on them to cover this week. Unless of course the Chargers miss another game winning kick and lose by 2…BUT I think KC is one of the best bets of the week to cover.

8:30 p.m. ET
Oakland Raiders (-3, 54) at Washington Redskins

Taking Oakland all day, especially with how disappointing Kirk Cousins and the R-words have been thus far. Derek Carr and Marshawn will have a day against Washington so I’m picking da Raiders to cover.

Monday, Sept. 25
Dallas Cowboys (-3, 47) at Arizona Cardinals

The Boys are back in prime time and after a beatdown by the Broncos last week look for Zeke, who had a disastrous game against Denver, to get the rock early and often here. Dallas needs that to help keep the pressure of Dak and avoid the dumb INTs. Cowboys cover.