Tag: Eagles

Mychal “The Wolf of Broadstreet” Kendricks Is Going Down For Insider Trading

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NFL.Com – Cleveland Browns linebacker and former Philadelphia Eagle Mychal Kendricks has been charged with insider trading, the U.S. Attorney’s Office of the Eastern District of Pennsylvania announced Wednesday morning.

First of all, I’m completely shoving this shovel of shit down the throat of Philly and its fans as a.) Kendricks is their guy. b.) He hasn’t played for the Browns yet. c.) He was charged in PA.

So with that said:

WHAT AN IDIOT. WHAT A FUCKING MORON.

Financial gurus, Wizards of Wall Street, Stock Market mavens, cannot commit insider trading and get away with it. Yet this NFL linebacker thought he could? Ok bud, how’d that go?

It would seem like Kendricks “entrusted a friend” to “help him cheat the stock market” and “really regrets he got caught”. The best part is he is so up shits creek with the Feds that he is blatantly and fully admitting it. Full on “ya got me”. Which means between this, again, NFL linebacker and a Harvard MBA/Goldmans employee they couldn’t commit insider trading good enough to even leave a smidge of reasonable doubt. I mean it’s borderline impressive.

So Mychal Kendricks joins the Burress-Vick club of former NFL players to take a vacation at Club Fed. Or pay a steep fine wiping out his net-worth which he’ll probably regain some of because he’ll only have an 8 second suspension. It’s not like he may have deflated footballs after all.

Terrell Owens Wants Back Into Football. Canadian Football.

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ESPN – Retired wide receiver Terrell Owens, soon to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, wants to return to the field. Owens, 44, activated a procedural window that requires the Edmonton Eskimos — who own his CFL rights — to offer him a contract or release him from their exclusive negotiation list within 10 days. Jason Staroszik, a Canada-based agent who is representing Owens on the matter, said Owens “100 percent” wants to play football again at the pro level. “He wants to play in the NFL,” Staroszik told ESPN. “But if he can’t, the CFL is the next-best option.”

Apparently Terrell Owens, the retired 44-year-old receiver who is being inducted into the Hall of Fame at the end of the month, wants back into football.

Canadian Football.

He hasn’t played since 2012 when he was cut by the Seahawks in training camp and there was also a short lived stint in the world famous Indoor Football League where he BALLED. OUT.

“Owens caught 35 passes for 420 yards and 10 touchdowns in eight games for the Wranglers.”

Soo its been a while since ya boy has been on the pitch. About 6 years if we’re counting. To put that into perspective, 6 years ago I was in between my first job out of college working in capital-J Journalism and working the door at a bar in Faneuil Hall. Some time has passed.

With that being said though, I always felt TO got hosed on his way out of the league. The guy was the diva of all divas and probably a complete pain in the ass for every coach and every quarterback he ever played with, but TO could ball. Even in his last season with the Bengals in 2010 when he 40 years old he caught 72 passes for 983 yards and 9 TDs. Thats goddamn impressive. That is a legit NFL receiver, regardless of age. And he never got another sniff in the league again. I’d be pretty fucking bitter about that too if I were him.

So he decided screw it, I’ll be the first active Hall of Famer to play since (???). Granted it is Canada, but hey it looks like Johnny Manziel may have started a trend with Comeback SZN and taken away some of the stigma of playing on the 110 x 65 yard field north of the wall.

TO has activated a “procedural window” with the Edmonton Eskimos, who own his CFL rights, so the Eskimos now have 10 days to either renounce his rights or offer him a contract.

Its hilarious how the CFL works. Since they are the bastard league of professional football, 99% of players with the ability to play in the NFL opt to play in the NFL over the CFL. The CFL still holds these supplemental drafts though so basically every top player (or popular name) that has played in the NFL has their rights owned by someone in Canada. Robert Griffin III, Baker Mayfield, Colin Kaepernick, Lamar Jackson, hell even guys like Tim Tebow and Vince Young were on these CFL negotiation lists before they made it all but clear they were done with football. Just in case any of these ever do decide to strap it up in Canada they’ve basically already been drafted.

TLDR; If TO does indeed sign with a CFL team then I think that locks in my long standing claim that I will need to figure out a way to pirate legally stream CFL games.

PS – Say what you want about the CFL, they’re nothing if not savy, savy social media users.

“[Owens] has continued to train as if he is an active player, and recently posted video to social media that indicated he is still running the 40-yard dash in under 4.45 seconds. The Eskimos added him to their negotiation list immediately after the post.“

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These Are the Stakes the Patriots are Playing for in Super Bowl LII

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Its almost here. Its the last day of cube life before Super Bowl LII. We’ve had boots on the ground to bring you into the Super Bowl Experience, we’ve provided you with Patriots porn, we’ve got you ready to run through a wall for this team, now its time to really analyze this. What are the stakes? What are the Patriots really playing for here?

I for one will be leaving the office at 5:00 pm on the dot like one of the iron mill workers in the Simpsons.

Its officially Super Bowl weekend. Here are the stakes.

Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and Robert Kraft are going for their 6th ring together.

Tom Brady is already the all-time winningest QB, he’s already stuffed Joe Montana in a locker. Now he’s looking to take the all-time GOAT title from Michael Jordan. And despite what that walking hot take Doug Gotleib says,

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A win on Sunday makes Tom Brady hands down the greatest athlete of all-time. Big Z already laid out the perfect rebuttal.

Bill Belichick is playing for a fresh paint job on his boat.

Historic radio calls. If the Patriots win Sunday, they HAVE to play the Gil Santos audio right? Like Bob Socci and Zolak have to just turn off their mics and play Gil’s call don’t they? “BACK TO BACK, THREE OUT OF FOUR!”

Tom vs Time will win a goddamn Emmy if it ends with 40 year old Tom Brady winning the league MVP and his 6th Super Bowl ring.

Similar to 2004, the Pats are expected to lose both their offensive and defensive coordinators this offseason, so winning back to back Super Bowls would be a hell of a way to go out for Patricia and McDaniels a la Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis before them.

Do people realize that if the Patriots win it sets up an opportunity to conquer yet another NFL legendary record? No team in the history of the league has ever won 3 Super Bowls in a row? 19-0 will likely never happen and that absolutely breaks my heart, but winning back-to-back-to-back Super Bowls would likely never be matched.

The mental well being of the annual asshole who got the Super Bowl champions tattoo before the team actually plays the game:

Brady, Belichick and RKK getting up on that podium, accepting the Vince Lombardi Trophy and telling Seth Wickersham, Max Kellerman, Bart Scott, Dan Shaugnessy, and every other click-baiting miserable hater 4 beautiful words:

Six Thoughts From Championship Sunday

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After yet another Patriots comeback and an epic Eagles beatdown in Philadelphia the matchup for Super Bowl LII is set. For the Patriots, the Blitz for Six is fully on.  For the Eagles, it’s a chance to cap off a Cinderella run with a back-up quarterback as they look to claim their first Super Bowl championship. Now that I’ve had a a few hours to digest both games from yesterday, here are a few thoughts from championship Sunday.

Tom Brady’s Hand Is A-OK

Like Belichick said, Brady’s injury didn’t require open-heart surgery but you wouldn’t know it by the way the team talked about it during the week. Especially with Brady wearing Hamburger Helper gloves to his Friday press conference and telling reporters “we’ll see” when asked if he would play. As a Patriots fan I understand the need to control the flow of information to prevent the opponent from gaining any advantage, but this smug routine does get old at times. I can’t blame the rest of the country for getting sick of it.

Back to Brady, he looked great yesterday. Even with the early deficit Brady looked great out of the gate. He completed 26 of 38 passes for 290 yards, two touchdowns and zero interceptions. The zero interceptions stat might get underplayed this week. Despite his better than 3-to-1 TD-to-INT rate during the regular season, it’s just better than 2-to-1 in the postseason. The first two games of this postseason might just be the best two games he has ever had to open a postseason.

Danny Amendola Is A Playoff Beast

Can’t disagree with Dion Lewis. It’s hard to think of another player who has upped his game in the playoffs as much as Amendola has. While certainly a good player, he’s never been selected to a Pro Bowl. In 111 regular season games Amendola has averaged 3.8 receptions per game, 37.0 yards per game and has scored 19 touchdowns. In 12 playoff games, all with New England, he’s averaged 4.1 receptions, 46.4 yards and has scored 6 touchdowns.

In just this post season he’s got 2 touchdowns and is averaging 9 receptions and 98 yards per game. Without Julian Edelman and Rob Gronkowski, it was Amendola who helped Brady pull yesterday’s game out of the fire.

James Harrison Came Up Big

ESPN.com – After totaling three tackles and a quarterback hit against the Jaguars, Harrison has 11 tackles in three games with the Patriots. He has shown a knack for pressing opposing quarterbacks late in games, in obvious passing situations.

Last Hurrah for the Patriots Second Triumvirate

The same exact thought went through my head when I saw that hug. It would seem all but certain that this triumvirate’s final act is coming up. Against the Eagles. To make it 3-out-of-4  for the Patriots.

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When it’s all said and done and they’re making the Brady/Belichick 30 for 30, I’d be interested to see Belichick compare this triumvirate to the Patriots First Triumvirate of himself, Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel. Weis and Crennel were Belichick’s contemporaries. McDaniels and Patricia have been his students, his prodigies. How does that affect their relationships, the decision making processes? Also, does it explain the 10 year gap in championships? The First Triumvirate was in place 2001-2004. The Second Triumvirate has been in place since 2012.

Did Case Keenum Play His Way Out of Minnesota Last Night?

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I certainly think so. It was a nice story and a fun run, but how can you hand him the keys to that franchise? With all the momentum the Vikings had from the game-winning touchdown against New Orleans the week before, Keenum hit Kyle Rudolph for a 25-yard touchdown to go up 7-0 on Philadelphia last night. Minnesota then gets the ball back up 7-0.

Keenum then proceeds to throw a pick-six and the rest of the game went to hell in a hand basket for the Vikings. Keenum would throw another pick and lose a fumble as the Eagles scored 38 unanswered points. His final numbers were 28-of-48 passing for a TD with 2 INTs.

Up until last night that Minnesota defense looked legitimate. Mike Zimmer seems like a solid head coach who doesn’t do stupid things to give games away (see Tomlin, Mike). If I were him, I’d take my chances and go quarterback shopping this offseason. It’s a formula that has worked well for other teams in similar situations before, most recently the Denver Broncos in 2016.

Which Nick Foles Will the Patriots See?

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In his three starts to close the regular season Foles completed only 47 of his 87 pass attempts (54.02%), but did throw 5 touchdowns to just 2 interceptions. In two playoff games he’s completed 49 of 63 pass attempts (77.78%) and thrown 3 TDs and no picks. Has he “figured it out?”

Blake Bortles went 13-of-15 for 155 yards and a touchdown in the first half against the Patriots yesterday, but just 10-of-21 for 138 yards in the second half. Will the Patriots be able to make similar adjustments on Foles? Will they have to?

 

ITS NFL TRADE DEADLINE DAY!

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Normally this is the most boring trade deadline in all of sports. Rarely do blockbuster moves take place, whether its because it truly is the No Fun League or if its just too hard to incorporate pieces into a football team mid-season, you just don’t see big trades as often as you do in the NBA or MLB. BUT, that changed last night when the Patriots dealt the presumptive QB of the future in Jimmy Garoppolo to the 49ers.

And just minutes ago the Dolphins traded their starting RB in Jay Ajayi to the Eagles for a 4th round pick.

And now I just saw this tweet from Adam Schefter?

LETS GO! Give me all the trades. I want to see teams getting after it. The Eagles can smell blood as they’re one of the best teams in football this year and they want to strike while the iron is hot, which is great. More teams need to do that. Or accept the fact that your mediocre team ain’t doing shit this year and jump into the trade market.

Could Calvin Johnson Soon Be a Member of the Patriots?

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Rumblings of some backdoor negotiations popped up over the weekend of two mystery teams inquiring with the Detroit Lions about Calvin Johnson, who as we all know is currently retired. Since Johnson retired while under contract with the Lions, Detroit still owns his rights so any team that wants to dust off Megatron would need to work out compensation with the Lions. Aside from Carson Palmer coming out of retirement and accepting a trade to Oakland, you don’t see a ton of moves like this. Usually the player is retired for a reason and he’s either 1.) washed up or 2.) doesn’t want to play anymore. But take one of the all-time great receivers of my generation and have him play on a dogshit Lions team for 8 years which included all of 2 playoff games. No wonder that guy said yea I’m done taking huge hits for regular season accolades.

But tempt that guy with the possibility of joining a playoff bound team like the Patriots (or the Eagles) then maybe he reconsiders. And Detroit is basically over a barrel because Johnson is already retired and could very easily stay retired, so it shouldn’t take more than a low draft pick, and of course the big money he’s owed ($16 Million this season).

Chris Mortensen is saying the Eagles and the Jaguars are the most likely landing spots, but I think we all know how many things Mort has fucked up in the past so I wouldn’t take this as gospel. But Schefty also threw some cold water on his own report this morning saying:

“The Lions told teams to reach out to the retired wide receiver to gauge his interest, but so far it has been noncommittal at best, diminishing any hope for a deal, sources said.”

But would there be anything more Belichick than coming out of the shadows and replacing an injured Edelman (and possibly Chris Hogan) with a future HOF player that no one ever saw coming? Put a physical specimen like that on the Patriots as the 2nd or 3rd option and it would just be unfair for opposing defenses. Either way, we’ll know the answer to this by end of day tomorrow since Tuesday is the trade deadline. Megatron watch is ON.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 5

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Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (9-6)

Another week, another one of the worst beats I’ve ever seen in a football game with the ending of that Kansas City game. Just ruthless. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 5 in the NFL, LETS GO


New England Patriots (-5.5, 55.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I picked the Pats to cover and cover they did.

Sunday, Oct. 8
1 p.m. ET

New York Jets at Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 39)
There’s no way you’re going to actually put money on the Browns as a favorite are you? I sure as shit am not going to. I’ll take the Jets here.

Carolina Panthers at Detroit Lions (-3, 44)
Coming off their walkoff win over the Patriots, the Panthers have some momentum heading into Detroit. But the Lions are looking legit this year sitting at 3-1 in first place in the NFC North. It seems the Panthers are slowly figuring out the best way to use Christian McCaffrey with Jonathan Stewart together though so I’m taking the Panthers to cover here.

San Francisco 49ers at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5, 43.5)


Tennessee Titans (NL) at Miami Dolphins
No Line for this game, so nothing to see here.

Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 38)
Call me crazy, I’m taking the Bills here. I like Tyrod Taylor to have a big game against the struggling Bengals.

Los Angeles Chargers at New York Giants (-3.5, 44.5)
A battle of two 0-4 teams. Woof. I’ve been picking the Chargers all year and they keep disappointing so its hard to rely on them here. Giants are in the same boat, but with a fully healthy Odell Beckham I think they finally get on the board here. I’ll take the G-Men to cover.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh Steelers (-8.5, 44)
Steelers are pretty big favorites at (-8.5) so thats asking a lot, but it is the Jaguars. I can definitely see Pittsburgh winning by 10. Fournette’s been solid in his first year rushing for 285 yards and 3 TDs, but Big Ben is rolling with Antonio Brown whos got 30 catches for 388 yards and a score. So I’m taking the Steelers to cover the big spread.

Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5, 45)
Eagles look like they’ve found their QB of the future with Carson Wentz and while I’m still bummed about Short Guy Hall of Famer Darren Sproles going down, Philly is still rolling along. Not a huge fan of old man Carson Palmer, especially with the non-existant run gam post David Johnson, so I’m taking the Eagles to cover.

4 p.m. ET
Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 47)
You gotta be shitting me? I know the Rams are off to a 3-1 start, but I refuse to take them as favorites over the Seahawks on a (-2.5) spread. Put some respeck on Seattle’s name. I’m taking Dangeruss and the Seahawks here.


Baltimore Ravens (NL) at Oakland Raiders
Seems to be a lot of No Lines this season, soo nothing to bet on here.

 

Green Bay Packers at Dallas Cowboys (-2, 52.5)
Its hard to bet against the Packers, who are 3-1 on the season going against the 2-2 Cowboys. The Pack just continue to plug and play guys like Aaron Jones and not miss a beat, but I like Dallas here. Feed Zeke all night long and win by a FG, I’ll take the Boys.


Kansas City Chiefs (NL) at Houston Texans
Another game with No Line. Moving on.

Monday, Oct. 9
8:30 p.m. ET


Minnesota Vikings (NL) at Chicago Bears
No reason to watch MNF if theres No Line. Carry on.

Lets Gamble! NFL Week 4

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Week 3 was a rollercoaster with a lot of upsets that I did not see coming (I’m looking at you Denver), but Week 4 is a new day. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 4 in the NFL, LETS GO.

Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (6-9)

Thursday, Sept. 28
Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers (-7, 45.5)
The Bears just keep making me look bad, but I refuse to put my hard earned dollars on Mike Glennon. And I need to see back to back solid games out of Jordan Howard before I trust him. Usually the tired rhetoric about Thursday Night Football is its sloppy, the passing is out of sync and teams lean on their running game. Welp, the Rams and Niners blew that one up last week. So I’m taking the Packers to cover here.

Sunday, Oct. 1
9:30 a.m. ET (at London)
New Orleans Saints (-3, 49.5) vs. Miami Dolphins
I gotta go Saints here. I know they’ve been up and down, but I don’t know if Smokin Jay Cutler and the Dolphins have enough offensive firepower to keep up with the saints. Saints will cover.

1 p.m. ET
Carolina Panthers at New England Patriots (-9, 48.5)
Another big spread for the Pats at (-9) which is a tricky one because the Panthers have been pretty shaky so far this year, but similar to last week against Deshaun Watson, the Pats have historically struggled against mobile QBs. I think its gonna be a game the Pats pull away, but Panthers make it respectable. I got Patriots by 10 to cover.

Los Angeles Rams at Dallas Cowboys (-7.5, 46)
Rams looked great last week putting up 41 points buttt that was on San Francisco. Cowboys gotta win by more than a TD here, whereas the Rams haven’t lost by more than 7 yet this season and have put up 40+ points twice already. But again the competition has been pretty mediocre (Indy, Washington, San Fran) so I’m picking the Cowboys to keep rolling and cover.

Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings (no line)
Does Westgate have something against the Vikings? There’s no line for them for the second week in a row.

Tennessee Titans (-1.5, 44) at Houston Texans
Texans could go one of two ways in this game. Defeated and beat down after dropping a game they probably should have won to the Patriots last week or they’ll come firing out of the gates for sticking with the best team in football for 58 minutes last week. I think Deshaun Watson found his groove last week so I’m taking the Texans to cover here.

Jacksonville Jaguars (-3.5, 39.5) at New York Jets
Bet on this game at your own risk. Jags cruised to victory last week, but they’re more of a running team these days and the Jets have a solid D-line if nothing else. Jets surprised me last week with a W over the Dolphins, but I think Fournette and the gang are too much for the Jets here. Jags cover.

Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 40) at Cleveland Browns
Another game I cringe to even put money on, but hey thats what leaders do, they take the ball and they bring their team down the field. Bengals shit the bed last week, but Cleveland cannot be trusted. Bengals cover.

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3, 43.5) at Baltimore Ravens
Ravens had an absolutely embarrassing game last week so they should bounce back. Problem is though, so did the Steelers. After losing in OT to the goddamn Bears, I expect Big Ben and co. to smash the Ravens. Steelers cover.

Buffalo Bills at Atlanta Falcons (-8, 48.5)
Bills are sneaky tied for 1st place in the AFC East and look a lot better than most people thought they would before the season. I think the Bills keep it within a score and cover.

4 p.m. ET
New York Giants at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3, 44)
This year’s Hard Knocks darlings have yet to beat anyone great yet as their first game got postponed, then they beat the Bears, and then got smoked by the Vikings last week. ODB looks healthy once again, but the Giants are 0-3 and could be reeling so I’m going with the Bucs to cover.

Philadelphia Eagles at Los Angeles Chargers (-1, 47)
Despite being 0-3, the Chargers have had some bad breaks and could easily be 2-1 so I think they’re due, plus it likely will take the Eagles a little while to figure out how to best replace Darren Sproles with Smallwood and others. Chargers are due, I’m picking them to cover.

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (-7, 44.5)
The Niners got blown out in their opener, but then nearly beat Seattle in Week 2, which looking back now seems to have more to do with the Seahawks offensive line than anything. Then they kept it close before losing to the Rams last week. Arizona looks to rebound after an L in Dallas in which Larry Fitzgerald looked 10 years younger. Their running game is still a disaster without David Johnson, but wth Fitz and Jaron Brown stepping up in the receiving core I’m picking the Cardinals to cover.

Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos (-2.5, 46.5)
This is a heavyweight matchup of AFC playoff teams and the Broncos are favored by a FG. Both teams had disappointing losses last week so everyone’s looking to get back on track. Oakland has been leaning on Marshawn Lynch here early and Denver is one of the worst teams to try and run on so I’m going with the Broncos to cover here.

8:30 p.m. ET
Indianapolis Colts at Seattle Seahawks (-13, 41.5)
God the Colts suck, but a two TD spread is huge for a team thats been struggling offensively. As much as I want to pick the Colts, Russell Wilson looked great last week and if the Seahawks can get him out of the pocket he’ll shred the Colts D. So while I usually hate picking the favorite in huge spreads like this, Dangeruss is looking good, and the Seahawks are at home where they are loud as shit. I’ll take Seattle to cover.

Monday, Oct. 2
Washington Redskins at Kansas City Chiefs (-7, 49.5)
I’m going to continue to roll with the Chiefs who have looked awesome so far this year. Kareem Hunt is scary good and the R-words have yet to really find a groove as guys like Terrell Pryor continue to underwhelm. I got the Chiefs covering here.

Picking Up the Pieces: Gambling NFL Week 3

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Overall Record (14-16)
Last week (8-7)
This week (6-9)

Whats that saying? Fall down 9 times, get up 10? Yea, well sometimes that applies to gambling, especially when you get your dick ripped out on the first game of the week on a backdoor cover. Rebounded nicely from our 0-5 start to finish the week at 6-9. Can’t win em all.

Thursday, Sept. 21
Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 40) at San Francisco 49ers

Bad beat of the year. I wrote a blog entirely about how badly screwed anyone who took the Rams got on this one.
Our pick: Rams to cover the (-2.5) spread…they won by 2. So thats an L. (0-1)

Sunday, Sept. 24
Baltimore Ravens (-4, 39) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

What an absolute abortion this game was. Those poor London fans, even when Jacksonville is good they get a shit game. Jags put the smackdown on Flacco and the Ravens, winning 44-7. Yuck.
Our pick: Ravens to cover. Thats an L. (0-2)

Denver Broncos (-3, 40.5) at Buffalo Bills

This is shaping up to be a disaster for gamblers everywhere. Did not see the Broncos folding like they did in this one, especially after how well Trevor Siemian had played the first two games. Bills are now tied for first place in the AFC East.
Our pick: Broncos to cover. Thats an L. (0-3)

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers (-6, 48)

Wrong again dickhead. Despite a 100+ yard receiving game from Christian McCaffrey, the Panthers couldn’t even put two touchdowns up as the Saints cruised to a 34-13 win. Damn.
Our pick: Panthers to cover. Thats an L. (0-4)

Pittsburgh Steelers (-7.5, 45.5) at Chicago Bears

THIS WEDDING IS HORSESHIT. If you picked the Bears to beat the Steelers you are lying and I don’t associate with liars. Bears top Pittsburgh in OT behind Jordan Howards 34 points (on my fantasy bench).
Our pick: Steelers to cover. Thats a big L. (0-5)

Atlanta Falcons (-3, 49) at Detroit Lions

Okay if the Rams game was the bad beat of the year, this is the bad beat of the century IF you bet on the Lions. Thankfully I did not because I would have smashed my TV. Lions got a walkoff TD erased by a questionable replay review and per the rules the cluck had a 10-second runoff leaving the Lions with their dick in their hands at the 1 yard line.
Our pick: Falcons to cover. Thats a W! (1-5)

Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 40) at Indianapolis Colts

Here’s what I said last week: “This is the first game the Browns have been favored to win since 2015! So tread lightly here. But I like what I saw out of rookie receiver Rashard Higgins last week (7 catches, 95 yards) and the Colts are still starting the Patriots 3rd-string QB. While it is with great trepidation, I’m taking the Browns to cover. Well guess what? The Browns did not cover. Shocking, I know. And Rashard Higgins did nothing despite being freshly inserted into my fantasy lineup. Colts won 31-28.
Our pick: Browns to cover. Thats an L. (1-6)

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings (no line)

Westgate had no line on this game. Soo we didn’t bet it.

Houston Texans at New England Patriots (-13, 43.5)

Patriots won 36-33, but as we predicted last week the (-13) spread was way too heavy for the Pats to cover. Here’s what I said last week: “While I told anyone and everyone to bet their house on the Pats routing the Saints last week, I’m not as confident in predicting a blowout here. The Texans defense is legit, especially upfront. And if you’ve been paying attention over the years, these are the types of teams that usually give the Pats trouble (except for last year when Brissett and co. wrecked them). But Pats also have historically struggled with mobile QBs and Deshaun Watson is that dude. So while I think the Pats win, I’m picking the Texans to cover.”
Our pick: Texans to cover. Thats a W. (2-6)

Miami Dolphins (-6, 41.5) at New York Jets

Basically every shit team won this past week, wrecking my bets across the board. The Jets throttled Smokin Jay Cutler and the Dolphins 20-6. Did not see that one coming.
Our pick: Dolphins to cover. Thats an L. (2-7)

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles (-6, 43)

Eagles won on a 61 yard FG as time expired, which was a goddamn BOOT. Eagles won, but only by 3 so they didn’t cover the (-6) point spread. What I said last week was “until ODB proves to me he is 100% I’m not picking the Giants because they’re just not that good without him. Plus Carson Wentz is playing well and Darren Sproles continues to be the most spry 34-year-old running back I’ve ever seen.” ODB looks to be back to his old self as he was scoring TDs and pretending to piss like a dog and I just jinxed Sproles who broke his arm AND tore his ACL on the SAME PLAY. What a disaster of a week.
Our pick: Eagles to cover. Thats an L. (2-8)

Seattle Seahawks at Tennessee Titans (-3, 43)

While the Seahawks seemingly are on the way back to being a solid offense again, the Titans topped them 33-27. I would like to just point out that even though I picked this game correctly, I also benched Russell Wilson on my fantasy team. And of course I lost because Dangeruss had 45 points on my bench. Goddamnit.
Our pick: Titans to cover. Thats a W. (3-8)

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers (-9, 44.5)

Nailed this one. Packers won 27-24 “The Bengals are a walking disaster right now. Andy Dalton is having the worst start of his career and Tyler Eifert is back into injury purgatory (is he hurt? is he not?) so Cincy is a tough pick. The Packers don’t look like world beaters either though with Rodgers throwing a ton of shitty passes while under duress last week. Is Green Bay (-9) points better than Cincy? I say no, I think its a closer game than that as both teams are struggling. Bengals cover.”
Our pick: Bengals to cover. Thats a W. (4-8)

 

Kansas City Chiefs (-3, 46) at Los Angeles Chargers

DING DING DING. I may not get em all right, but when I tell you to put big bucks down, you better be listening. “The Chiefs are rolling, put some big bucks down on them to cover this week…I think KC is one of the best bets of the week to cover.”
Our pick: Chiefs to cover. Thats a W. (5-8)

 

Oakland Raiders (-3, 54) at Washington Redskins

Whoops. Raiders ate a bag of dicks in this game and the R-words got back on track as they topped Oakland 27-10. What is happening in the NFL this week?
Our pick: Raiders to cover. Thats an L. (5-9)

Monday, Sept. 25
Dallas Cowboys (-3, 47) at Arizona Cardinals

At least the Cowboys showed up in primetime to take care of business, despite a fantasy no-show from Cole Beasley, complete with hilarious response. Dak, Zeke and Dez all looked great. Money won is always sweeter than money earned.
Our pick: Cowboys cover. Thats a W. (6-9)

Pour One Out for Short Guy Hall of Famer Darren Sproles Who is Out for the Season

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ESPN – Philadelphia Eagles running back Darren Sproles tore an ACL and broke an arm on the same play Sunday, sources told ESPN’s Chris Mortensen and Adam Schefter. Sproles is having surgery on his arm Monday and will require surgery on his knee, sources said. His season is over.

After an “awkard plant and hit” Darren Sproles broke his arm and tore his ACL on the same play yesterday, ending the 34-year-old runningback’s season and potentially his career. Listed at 5’6″ and 190 pounds, Sproles was an absolute monster and has been a go to guy since 2008 when he was with the team formerly known as San Diego. Then he was paired up in the same backfield as Reggie Bush with New Orleans for 3 years where he scored 21 TDs (+1 on a punt return). Then in Philly for the last 3+ seasons where he scored 14 more TDs before going down this Sunday.

For his career Sproles has 532 receptions for 4,600+ yards and 30 TDs with 3,300+ rushing yards and 22 rushing TDs plus another 9 TDs on returns. If you had to design a passing down back this is your guy.

If it is the end (rumors were he had planned to retire after this season) then its been a hell of a career and someone the rest of us short guys LOVED to watch play. He’ll go down in the Short Guy Hall of Fame with the likes of Muggsy Bogues, Doug Flutie, Isaiah Thomas, and Dustin Pedroia.