Tag: Fantasy Football

The 300s Bloggers’ Lois Einhorn Edition Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 10

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Farewell, sweet prince.

Just like that our favorite underdog has been jettisoned from the ranks of professional football. Needless to say, Nathan Peterman had possibly the worst series of spot starts in the history of the game, if not in the history of sports. Poor guy just could not get out of his own way. He’d flash some semblance of ability one play and then on the next one hit a DB in the chest for a pick 6. Fucking brutal to watch.

So with his run in Buffalo finally over, I see a full-scale Lois Einhorn situation developing here. Peterman will masquerade as some sort of female public figure in a long-con scheme aimed at extracting revenge against the world that so openly mocked and derided him. It’s coming people.

So how’d we all do this?

Red

We had a goddamn barn burner this week. Down 37 points heading into Monday Night Football I completely checked out and went to play some beer league softball like all athletes past their prime do. Matt Breida had the game of his life with two TDs and 26 pts and Sterling Shepherd chipped in with 10 of his own. So I was down by less than 5 with a minute to go with the 49ers driving. All I needed was Breida breaking a screen for a big gain or maybe punching it in from the 1! So. Much. Hype. Andddd Breida wasn’t even on the field for the final drive.


Mattes

You know when things get so bad it’s almost comical? Check this shit out.

My 1-8 team was taking on the team that is *now* in first place. After a pretty solid, 130-plus-point performance across the board, I was up comfortably heading into Sunday night with two guys left to play – Amari Cooper for me and Zach Ertz for him. Ertz then goes off for the greatest game of his life – in a game his team still loses, mind you – and I lose by 0.78. ZERO-POINT-SEVEN-FUCKING-EIGHT. Sure, my season’s already over, but it would’ve been cool to see my abortion of a team take down one of the best in the league. But again, it’s just not my year.

AND THEN – in the league that actually matters – I got unreal performances from DJ and Aaron Jones (I told you guys to grab him two weeks ago!), but the Buffalo Bills decided to somehow actually be good at football this week, and the Jets defense got me -7. NEGATIVE SEVEN. It all came down to Monday night: I was leading by 13, and all he had left was San Fran’s kicker. And guess how many points San Fran’s kicker got? Did you say 13??!! GOOD FOR YOU! I TIED and am now hanging on by a pube to a chance at the playoffs. (OH, and that last field goal Gould had was EXACTLY 30 yards; were it just one yard shorter, I would’ve won.)

I don’t know what I did to piss off the fantasy gods this year, but COME ON, MAN.

Joey B

I won a Goddam UGLY one but I won all the same. Another two excellent performances from James Conner and Michael Thomas allowed me to squeak by equally anemic opponent 91-84, and no, we didn’t forget to sit someone on a bye, etc.

Papa G

Lost in 2 out of 3 leagues this week. It’s getting down to the wire as i’m a borderline playoff team in all my leagues now. Fournette returning has seriously helped though and my bench is becoming useful again, not just a sea of RBs on IR. I’m going to need Aaron Rodgers to step it up though as i’m not getting the production I would have liked from him. I guess we’ll see how this plays out.

Side note: fuck the Jets. Bills Mafia for life.

Big Z

The Z-Men made it four wins in a row in Week 10 with a one-point victory, and led the league in points for the third straight week. You never want to lose with the second-highest points total for the week. That’s when furniture gets broken.

Christian McCaffrey led the way for my squad again this week with 31 points, but Eric Ebron was my MVP. He was game-time decision Sunday. I left him in and he rewarded me with three touchdowns. George Kittle was my closer, and his 83 yards Monday night was just enough to get me the one-point win.

Not a bad turnaround! Just hoping not to peak too soon. Again.

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Nick Mullens is Elite Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 9

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Yey, my children, behold the Week 9 fantasy football blog. The NFL itself was actually a bit of a dumpster fire this week with quite a few just plain bad games. On the other hand, was Nick fucking Mullens. The complete unknown practice squadder who jogged out there for San Francisco and was just about perfect. The best QB from Southern Miss not named Brett Favre. Only highlighting Mullens success was his counterpart on the Raiders, Derek Carr, simply forgetting how to QB and Carr’s coach Jon Gruden searching Indeed for new jobs on the sidelines. Sports, amirite?!

Anyway, how’d we do?

Papa G

Blogger’s Note: Papa Giorgio did not submit a fantasy blog this week. He is however a Mets fan and their newly introduced General Manager is indeed the slimiest seeming person since Lester Diamond so maybe he’s just in a gutter somewhere. Ts and Ps son.


Red

You wanna know why The League was such a completely unrealistic show? It’s not because of all the crazy antics they get into with NFL celebrity guest appearances sprinkled in. No it’s because I’m supposed to believe a group of grown men in their 30s are endlessly devoted to a game that is almost entirely dependent on random acts of god. On Sunday, I was greeted to a glorious “Look what I found” TD that I was so jazzed up about I tweeted it…which sealed my fate with the fantasy gods. 

I later came to find out that the refs changed their mind and just awarded the TD to someone else, thus stealing 6 points out of my front pocket. Can’t win like that guys. 

I now reside firmly in 10th place.

Joey B

3-6. No bueno. Probably out of the running at this point as it is a ten point league. The worst part in this was a 15 point loss to the number one team in the league, which is pretty fucking close. Basically all I needed was Matthew Stafford to do literally anything at all (I think he got me 5 or 6 points) and I would have got the dub. Wasted games from Connor and Howard. Just disappointing.

 

Mattes

I’ve hit an all-time low this week: I lost to a guy who started two inactives and is last in the league in points. I’m 1-8 and ashamed to even look myself in the mirror right now. No need to talk about this abomination any longer. It simply hurts too much.

After getting a combined 120 points from Michael Thomas and the Fitzmagic/O.J. Howard stack in my 2-QB, full-point PPR league, I still lost because Kirk Cousins and Tarik Cohen forgot how to play football this week. If I had just started Philip Rivers as my other QB, I would’ve been fine. I just pulled a Big Z this week and left points on the bench. Happens to the best of us, but I’m still right in the thick of it.

 

Big Z

Things are coming together nicely for the Z-Men. With 144 points in Week 9, I led the league in scoring for the second straight week and won for the third straight week.

I’m still in the running for the Horse’s Ass Trophy, too! In addition to 25 points from James Conner and 26 points from Christian McCaffrey, Tevin Coleman scored 26 on my bench and James White scored 22 on my bench. The curse of being deep at the RB position in a league that only lets you play two per week.

The 300s Bloggers’ WEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 8

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So I know this is a fantasy FOOTBALL blog but fuck me if I’m not going to again mention my, and your, 2018 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. Champagne for everyone. (No, I’m not adding that stupid fucking hashtag because I’m not 12. Carry on.)

Lots going on this week in the NFL. Trade deadline is set for 4:00pm EST today and there are a ton of names that could move, both stemming from general disgruntlement (actually is a word) and teams in complete disarray that might as well have a yard sale to get ready for the future.

Speaking of disarray, let’s see how we all did this week.

Joey B (Completely Incompetent)

I got paved again which was not fun. This was highlighted by C.J Uzomah dropping  a goose egg and Sammy Watkins lit it up on my bench while watching his counterpart, Devin Funchess, do dick on the field. I still managed about 110 pts though, which isn’t awful for a loss. We’re trending.

Papa G (Bill and Mets fan)

Got absolutely thrashed this week. 0-3 across all my leagues. That bum RB on New England did nothing for me and I’m still down 3 or 4 starters. Dalvin Cook and Leonard Fournette better come back soon or this is going to go off the rails quickly. I’m a fringe playoff team in all my leagues and I need someone to step up to the plate quickly. Thank god for James Conner, that’s really all I have to say.

 

Red (Drives to New Hampshire for wine)

I don’t often make good decisions in fantasy football, but when I do I like to peacock. Chris Carson has been riding my bench all year, but I threw him in my lineup and he rewarded me with 22 points in a week where I was without Ezekiel Elliott. Also shoutout to Mattes for giving me this opportunity. With a win against him this week, its kept me at .500 and while not clinically dead, my team is still on life support with an outside shot at the playoffs. Mattes has since changed his team name to BYE WEEK so I’m sure he was thrilled with his players’ effort. 

Big Z (Don’t know much about the guy, may not exist)

No complaints from me. I rolled up a league-high 126 points this week. I guess I could have had a a few extra points had I played Christian McCaffrey instead of James White, or pretty much anyone instead of Devin Funchess, but that’s small potatoes. I’m now in second place in my league despite being 8th in total points. Must be my “defense.”

Things are definitely looking up for the Big Z Fantasy Empire

 

Mattes (Possible addition to chicken wings)

1-7…ONE AND FREAKIN’ SEVEN. I have NEVER suffered through such a miserable season, or even come close. The sad part is I thought I had a pretty good chance to win this week, but Red had Davante Adams and a resurgent Larry Fitz go H.A.M. for him on Sunday. Getting a goose egg from your tight end doesn’t help either. This just sucks.

Lost in my other league as well, falling to .500 on the year. DJ didn’t have the breakout game I was hoping for now that he has a competent offensive coordinator calling plays. I also had to stream C.J. Beathard this week with Rivers on a bye. (It’s a two-QB league; the only other option on the wire was Brock Osweiler, so don’t judge.) Also, O.J. Howard and Tarik Cohen, both of whom I somehow picked up just two weeks ago, continue be awesome. This team’s doing OK. At least I got something to still give a shit about.

The 300s “No One Named Eli Has Ever Been Good At Anything” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 7

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I’m busy at work and mad at fantasy football so all I have to say is go Sox and enjoy the fantasy takes.

Mattes

Having the second-least amount of points in the league and the most points scored against is just not a good combo. Got an almost 40-berger out of Mitchell Trubisky as a streamer and still lost by almost 80 to the league’s top scorer. At least I have an extra second-rounder next year, and it’s looking like Kerryon Johnson is going to be a stud sixth-round keeper (179 yards of total offense this week). I’m just trying not to finish last at this point.

Had a great week in my other league, but – you guessed it! – I ran into the week’s high-scorer. Got 70 points out of my receivers alone, though, and now that Arizona has someone competent running the offense I’m hoping David Johnson has a little second-half resurgence.  Also, it looks like I’m not going to lose Sony Michel for the year after all, and I was somehow able to snag Tarik Cohen last week, who has three-straight 20-plus point games. I’m 4-3 and feeling good about things to come.

 

Papa G

In a shocking turn of events, I continued my hot streak to go 3-0 again this week. Beat Red by a solid 3 points thanks to Julio Jones. A special thanks to the New York Giants for being a dumpster fire and making this all possible. In one of my other leagues I won by .14 points so luck was on my side this week. Fully expect to nose dive soon enough though.

 

Red

I would like to thank Ezekiel Elliott for murdering any chances I had this week in both of my leagues with a whopping 5 points. How bout them Cowboys indeed. Also, shoutout to Papa Giorgio for beating me by 3 points on garbage time stats in the 4th quarter of Monday Night Football. 

 

Big Z

Picked up a 98-81 win in Week 7 to improve to 4-3 and move into a tie for third place in my league. James White and the New England D/ST came up big for me. Of course it didn’t hurt that my opponent wasn’t up for the London game in time to bench Melvin Gordon who was out.

My only gripe comes from the TE position. I’ve got Eric Ebron and George Kittle. They both seem to be boom or bust, and I’ve yet to figure how to play the right guy any given week. At least it didn’t cost me a win in Week 7, and gets me a little bit closer to the Bench Points Championship

 

Joey B

My team is just awful and I lost by 20 to fall to 3-4. Whatever.

 

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Is Nathan Peterman Elite? Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 6

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Welcome back. Let’s first address today’s dedication.

I liked Nathan Peterman coming out of school. Prototypically sized, decent-armed QB from a blue collar school like Pitt. Thought he could be a good spot starter in the NFL, maybe even mold himself into a late blooming starting QB. So far I have been drastically wrong. Not in my evaluation of his talents, no. Take a look at the TD he threw Sunday. Absolute seed. No, the problem with Peterman is he cannot get out of his own way to save his life. If he just “regular sucked”, for lack of better terminology, I think analysts and fans alike would say he has potential. Instead, he throws a stupefying number of pick 6’s. It’s almost a constant at this point. He could go 10-21/200/1 and people would say, “you know what, kid might have something.” But noooope, not Nate, he prefers the 10/21/200/2/4 pick 6’s. Like what the fuck man. JUST STOP IT.

Any way here’s the round up.


Big Z

A play in three acts.

Me with 106 points Sunday at 4.

Me with 111 points and a 17 point lead after Sunday night.

Me after the two-minute warning of the Monday night game when Aaron Rodgers and my undefeated opponent pulled ahead of me for the win.

No bad beats or bad plays this week that will have the league office questioning my competence to run a fantasy football franchise. Just a tough loss to a great team. We’re on to Week 7.

Papa Giorgi

3-0 for the first time since week 1! I’ve never felt more alive. Yeah, my real life QB Josh Allen is dead and the never ending Nathan Peterman experiment rolls on, but at least i’m on my way to making some money. Aaron Rodgers played like an angel last night and I was able to steal the W thanks to a last minute game winning kick by Mason Crosby.

Joey B

Everyone from LA to Boston said Matt Breida wasn’t going to play, so I, much like Mattes and the rest of the “Why The Fuck Did I Pick Jordan Howard” Club, tried to get cute. I took a flier on Alfred Morris for the week. Welp, Breida and some absolute NO NAME played and Morris did not get A. Single. Carry. I got beat. 3-3. I’m not having fun anymore.

Red

So after ripping on Eli Manning all week long for never really being an elite quarterback outside of two hot streaks in years that shant be named, I went against all of my better judgement and started him in fantasy anyways. I was in a bind as my QB was on a bye so it was either Eli, Bortles or Danold. Welp, Eli promptly shit the bed, didn’t throw a touchdown and finished with 11 points. And I STILL WON, mainly because the other guy started the other bum on the waiver wire in Bortles.

Mattes

So, I started Amari Cooper again… I’m now 1-5. I also invested a lot in guys like Jordan Howard, Carlos Hyde, and Keelan Cole. It’s just not working out this year, but at least I traded Antonio Brown for an extra second-round pick next year. This year’s squad is absolute hot garbage, though.

Fortunately, I’m 4-2 in my other league after my opponent started TWO guys who were announced as inactives just before game time. That’s why you always gotta pay attention right up to kickoff, folks. I’ll take the gift, though, and I got both Ingram and Thomas coming back from a bye this week. (Also, how about Sony Michel??!! Kid’s a beasttttt.)

 

The 300s Made Its Debut on National TV Today

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Sort of. My man @Jimmy2Lips repping The 300s snapback on live TV this morning making his fantasy picks on the Red Zone Channel.

Go give this man a follow on twitter dot com for his dynamite fantasy picks, but more so for his electric sense of style.

Oh yea and buy a hat from our brand new Etsy shop!

The 300s Bloggers “Earl Thomas Was Right” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 4

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O hey there. So we are officially a quarter of the way through the 2018-2019 football season and with that, we are really beginning to see what our fantasy football teams are made of. We are also beginning to see what the waver wire is made of as more and more players go down, forcing owners to try and convince themselves that Senorise Perry is about to have a breakout week. But as we prepare for the return of Julian Edelman, let’s check in with the your favorite amateur typists to see how their fantasy squads did this week.

Joey B

I got fucking washed. Other than the Stafford-Tate connection no one showed up, least of all a certain #87. I even experienced the rare goose egg courtesy of Sammy Watkins last night. Definitely looking forward to rebounding next week when I get Devin Funchess back and slot Cameron Brate (O.J Howard is hurt) in for Gronk.


Red

Finally got a W on the books and it literally took until the final drive of the Monday night game. Demaryius Thomas was really earning his keep as my 5th round pick mustering up 3 points with a little over 2 mins left in the game. Keep in mind that during all this I am down by ONE POINT in my head to head matchup. Less than 2 minutes to go and Patrick Mahomes put the Chiefs ahead so Denver is forced to throw the ball. Thank Christ. With 1:39 to go Case Keenum immediately takes a sack. Good start. I am screaming at my TV at this point. The very next play Keenum completes a 9 yard hitch route to Thomas to nab me the ONE POINT I needed to seal the deal. Fantasy football is legitimately taking years off of my life.

Oh and my TE Tyler Eifert broke his ankle. 


Big Z

I don’t know what’s more remarkable, the points I leave on my bench each week or the fact that I’m still winning in spite of my poor coaching decisions. Either way, I won my Week 4 match up 108-76, and at 3-1 am currently sitting in the 3rd place in my ten-team league. Maybe it’s my “defense.” I’m seventh in points, but have “allowed” the fewest points in the league.

Brandon Cooks and George Kittle really saved my bacon in Week 4 with 24 points each. Russell Wilson was a disappointment with just 7 points, and I’ll finally be giving him the hook in Week 5. Time for some Matty Ice, baby! Oh, and did I mention that my opponent played the Cleveland defense?

Mattes:

S-O-Fucking-S! The Purple Cobras are currently in the midst of their worst season ever, sitting at 1-3 and dead last in the league in points by a cool 30. After getting a combined 11.48 points from Russell Wilson, Jordan Howard, and O.J. Howard, I had absolutely no shot, but my opponent made sure to put up almost 160 on me anway. (OH, and Amari Cooper had another phenomenal game on my bench.) Maybe it’s time for Baker Mayfield to come in and right the ship?

Fell down to .500 in my other league, sitting at 2-2. The week started off blazing hot with Kirk Cousins, but then Michael Thomas also decided to forget how to play football this week. Getting two points out of my FLEX and leaving 17 points on the bench from Sony Michel – the guy who I was originally going to play in my FLEX – didn’t help either, especially when you lose by only seven points. Still right in the thick of it all, though, so I’m not sweating it.

Patriots Dolphins Week 4 Game Preview, Odds, and Things to Watch For

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Image result for patriots dolphins

So that was an ugly one last week. Not to take anything away from the Lions, but I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen a Brady-led, Belichick-coached team play that poorly. Mental mistakes. Missed throws. No pass-rush. A sieve of a defensive front that allowed Detroit to record its first 100-yard-rusher in a game for the first time in FIVE years. Also, the Pats scored their lowest point total (10) in over two seasons.

WOOF.

Fortunately, the Pats get to face a familiar foe this weekend – albeit an undefeated one – as the 3-0 Miami Dolphins are set to come to Foxborough this weekend. As always, here’s a look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:

  • Location: Gillette Stadium (Foxborough, MA)
  • Kickoff: Sunday, Sept. 30, 1 p.m. ET
  • TV: CBS (Check local listings)
  • Odds (via Odds Shark): Patriots: -6.5 (spread)/Patriots: -280 (moneyline)/48 (total)

After missing all of 2017 and the very end of 2016 due to injury, Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill has come back this year GUNS BLAZING. Sure, he’s only played the Titans, Jets, and Raiders so far, but he’s completed 73 percent of his passes for almost 700 yards and seven touchdowns. He’s also only thrown two picks and has a ridiculous 121.8 QB rating. Oh, and he led the Dolphins to 8 of their 10 wins before going down in 2016, a season in which they made the playoffs. I don’t know when and where the whole “Tannehill sucks” rhetoric started, but it’s entirely inaccurate.

Image result for ryan tannehill

Now, if you wanted to say Tannehill sucks whenever he has to play at Gillette, I actually can’t argue with ya there. In five games on the road in New England, Tannehill is winless and the Dolphins have only once been able to score over 20 points.

But it’s been two years since Tannehill last laced ’em up in Foxborough, and things are simply way different on so many levels. Firstly, the Dolphins have been incredibly efficient on offense this season, and that might have to do with no longer relying solely upon Jarvis Landry. Now, before I go any further, I mean no disrespect toward Landry, the game’s best slot receiver and a perennial 100-catch guy.

But letting Landry go has forced Tannehill to look toward spreading the ball around much more, and now the Dolphins feature a solid corps of Kenny Stills, Albert Wilson, Jakeem Grant, Devante Parker, and, as much as it KILLS me to see, Danny Amendola. Due to the less predictable offense the team is running under Adam Gase, Tannehill has yet to throw 30 passes in a game so far in 2018, making the most of each of his opportunities. No Dolphins receiver is averaging more than five targets per game, so the Pats defense will need make sure they have eyes all over the field on Sunday.

Image result for danny amendola dolphins

This is going to be like watching your ex-girlfriend show up to the party with that insufferable douchebag you always hated.

The running game has been a bit lackluster. Many expected second-year back Kenyan Drake to run away with the job after a breakout rookie campaign, but for some reason Gase is sticking with a timeshare between Drake and a 35-year-old Frank Gore – who, save for a great Week 1 performance, has averaged just under 2.5 yards a carry over the last two games. Drake has the ability to hurt anyone, but until they figure things out in the backfield I’m not all too worried about the Fins ground attack.

The poor running game and quick-strike offense has killed the Dolphins in terms of time of possession, which could soon really start to wear on the team’s defense. Alas, the D has still looked pretty decent this year, playing to the tune of a very Belichick-ian “bend don’t break” philosophy, as pointed out by Joe Schad of the Palm Beach Post:

The Dolphins defense is currently 21st in the NFL in yards allowed, but sixth in points allowed. That’s a crazy discrepancy, even with the small sample size of three games. Miami is tied for second in the NFL with a +4 turnover margin. And the Dolphins are third in the NFL in red zone defense.

Cornerback Xavien Howard, who had two interceptions against the Raiders last week, has been a revelation in 2018, and Chris Hogan will once again likely have a tough matchup. At least Brady can take solace in the fact the Dolphins have just six sacks on the year and rank second to last in the league with 12 QB hits.

Storylines

(Will Josh Gordon Actually Play?): Good Lord, I hope so. In typical Patriots fashion, we have yet to receive even the slightest bit of information regarding Gordon’s Week 4 status, so I’m not even going to venture a guess on this one.

Image result for josh gordon patriots

Here’s all we have to go off so far (h/t 985thesportshub.com):

“We’ll just take it day-by-day and see how it goes,” Belichick remarked. “There are a number of factors involved here. When he feels like he’s ready and we feel like he’s ready and there’s sufficient opportunity to back that up then we’ll see about making him active.”

Thanks, Bill! Always keeping us on our toes. Looks like we may not get an answer on this one until right before kickoff on Sunday.

(Sooo…Yeah, I Guess Sony IS the Guy Now): With Rex Burkhead seemingly done for the year, the Patriots have pretty much no choice but to rely upon Sony Michel to carry the load for the foreseeable future. Yes, James White will see quite a bit of burn as well, but he’s not a chain-moving, 15-plus-carry-a-game guy. Michel is going to be force-fed the rock, as evidenced by his 24 carries and five targets over the last two games. While he’s only averaged 3.5 yards per tote so far, I’m remaining hopeful. While I have been critical of the team placing so much faith in a guy with such an extensive injury history, I’ve never questioned his talent. I’m excited to see what the kid can do. He just better be ready to roll from here on out.

Image result for sony michel

It’s your time to shine, kid. Don’t let me down.

(The Linebackers Are Looking a Little Rough): The Pats are one of six teams allowing over 400 yards of total offense per game this season, and they are one of only two allowing over 140 yards on the ground. Now they will be without standout rookie Ja’Whuan Bentley – Pro Football Focus’s fifth-highest-rated linebacker through the season’s first three weeks (h/t Patriots Wire) – for a while, if not the whole season. Dont’a Hightower is still sharp as a tack and one of the best defensive signal-callers in the league, but he’s looked painfully slow at times this year. And after allowing the Lions to rush for over 150 yards as a team last week, maybe this is Drake’s opportunity to prove himself once and for all. (I know I said earlier that I’m not too worried about the Dolphins rushing attack, but I was basing that solely off of who they’ve played so far this year.) The middle of the defense could potentially be gashed in this one, unless somebody else decides to step up.

Prediction 

Sorry to say it, Pats Nation, but this could end up being another shocker. As they say, there’s a first time for everything, and Tannehill and Miami’s extremely fluid offense are in a prime position to flip the script. I do think that Brady & Co. will play much better on offense this time around, especially if Gordon plays and Michel gets it going. But I’m unsure if the defense is prepared enough to shut down Tannehill like in years past. While Belichick will be DAMNED if he lets Amendola show him up, Miami’s plethora of other weapons on offense will be too much for the Pats to keep up with. Brady will keep it close, but in the end the Dolphins will come out on top, 21-17, giving them a puke-worthy three-game lead over the Pats in the AFC East.

The 300s Bloggers’ Baker Mayfield Invitational Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 3

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Dearest Readers,

I hope this column is enjoyable and an easy read, not a Vance McDonald stiff arm to the skull.

Briefly,

-Joey B.

Papa Giorgio

1-2 for me this week. Fournette and Dalvin Cook being hurt sunk one of my teams as I had to field some garbage RBs. Drew Brees was electric for me though. My one piece of fantasy advice is if you ever have anyone on your roster from the NFC South and two of the teams are playing each other that week, start them. Saints/Falcons always seem to end in some ridiculous score and the wilder the finish, the more fantasy points you’re going to get. Also, my real life Bills thrashed the Vikings so even though I didn’t have the greatest fantasy week, Bills Mafia was reborn under Josh Allen.


Joey B

So I lost in week 3 but find solace in the fact that it took Gronk, both RBs, and my defense shitting the bed, changing the sheets, and then shitting the bed again for that to happen. Stafford played well (against the fucking Pats) and Michael Thomas continues to have the same success on the football field that Dave Thomas had in the fast food industry


Red

We’re swimming in a sea of mediocrity folks as I got my first win of the season but split on my two leagues, bringing my season record to an underwhelming 1-5. On a more somber note; a roster spot just opened up on my squad as my dude Jimmy G tore his ACL on Sunday. I may just keep him on my roster out of respect. A fantasy football moratorium if you will.

Big Z

The Big Z Fantasy Empire improved to 2-1 in Week 3, but boy did I have to sweat it out. I didn’t take my first lead of the week until the fourth quarter of the Monday night game when James Conner put me over the top. I only needed 7 points to win, and he took almost 60 minutes to put up the 9 points that gave me a three-point win.

Oh, and did I mention this was all while Matt Ryan was on my bench? Ryan put up 40 points while Russell Wilson got me 15. Instead of having a Toilet Bowl for last place every year, they should just give a trophy of a horse’s ass to the player with the most bench points. I’d be well on my way to that trophy this season.

As much as I hate a fantasy QB controversy, I may have to make the switch this week. I’ll also have to survive Christian McCaffrey’s bye week, so Week 4 looks like a daunting battle already

 

Mattes

Got the double victory this week for the first time in 2018! Although I would NEVER root for my fantasy team over my real-life team, maaaaybe Brady having one of the worst games of his life this week didn’t turn out all that bad for me. Considering Brady was projected to score 20 more points than he did and I beat my opponent by 19, at least there’s a silver lining. I also only had one guy score less than six points, which was Amari Cooper, who could quite possibly be the most frustrating player to own in fantasy right now. The guy should be a stud, but has gone from two points in Week 1 to 16 points in Week 2 then right back down to two this week. Maddening. Carlos Hyde is looking like a fifth-round STEAL for me as well, especially with Baker now running the show in Cleveland. Also, my sneaky ROY candidate, Kerryon Johnson, looks like he’s ready to take over in the Motor City and may be coming off my bench for the first time this week. It was a rough 0-2 start, but things are now looking up for the Purple Cobras.

My other team continued to roll as well, even with Kirk Cousins and Larry Fitzgerald combining for a measly 13 points. Cousins will bounce back, and I am praying to everything holy that Josh Rosen can turn the Cardinals offense around, because I also have an incredibly disappointing David Johnson, whose week was fortunately salvaged with a receiving TD. Michael Thomas and Jarvis Landry are a nasty WR1 and WR2 in a full-point PPR, and somehow I was able to add Matt Breida on waivers last week. He got me 14 points on Sunday and will be a great FLEX option moving forward along with guys like John Brown and Bilal Powell. Catch City Bitch is now 2-1 and feeling good.

The 300s Bloggers’ Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 2

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Hi Friends.

Week 2 is now in the books and I’d say we are one week away from really seeing what our squads “are”? Don’t you love those questions and answers? “We still don’t know what Jimmy G is.” “We will find out tonight what these 2008 *insert team here* are? But ya, horribly hard to be a T.V analyst.

To go along with Week 2 we have our second addition of the recap of how our bloggers did in their respective league(s). As with Week 1, every blogger has submitted a small blurb on their successes and failures. Let’s get to it…


Papa Giorgio

Well, I got absolutely shellacked this weekend. 0-3 across all my leagues. Fournette being out did not help in the slightest. It will be interesting to see how Josh Gordon does for me now that he’s been traded to the Patriots. I have him in two leagues and if the guy can get healthy and live up to his potential my teams should be able to get back on track in the quest for some titles. Otherwise, if things continue to go south I may have to pull a Vontae Davis and get the hell out of Dodge. 

(Joey B Note: Something about a Bill’s fan drafting the most volatile player possibly in league history makes me happy.)


Big Z

Fantasy football is a prime example of where it is better to be lucky than good. I was thisclose to dropping Chris Hogan in favor of Phillip Dorsett this week. I ultimately decided against streaming my WR/TE flex position and stuck with Hogan after a lackluster Week 1. At halftime it looked like they would both post underwhelming Week 2 numbers, but I was rewarded with two late TDs by Hogan. Thank god.

As I’ve written before, defense should be taken out of fantasy football. Until that happens, though, I will continue to stream defenses in fantasy football. This week I dropped Green Bay to pick up New England. Whoops! Thankfully the move only cost me eight points. After an early defensive touchdown by Green Bay it looked like it could’ve been a whole lot worse.

Up 89-88 going into Monday night, my opponent was done and I only had Russell Wilson left. I thought about benching him, but when’s the last time a QB got negative points? I don’t know, but Wilson made me sweat it out, turning the ball over a few times in the second half. A garbage-time TD put me at the century mark, though, and cemented my Week 2 W.

So with a Brandin Cooks, Christian McCaffrey and a little luck, the Big Z Fantasy Empire is on the board in 2018.


Red

(Joey B’s Note: This first sentence is laugh out loud funny. This is the beauty of fantasy: you can taste the bitterness)

If I have any piece of advice from another dogshit start to my fantasy season it’s this; stick to the guys you drafted as long as you can. After a disastrous 4 INT game in Week 1, I benched Matt Stafford for Jimmy G and Stafford went off for 32 points compared to Garoppolo’s 20. Naturally I lost by just a hair under 12 points this week.

I also lost in my other league wasting a 27 point, 14 catch, 100 yard performance from Christian McCaffrey. So all in all I am a combined 0-4 to start the fantasy season. Oh and I bet the Patriots to cover on Sunday while I was down in the great state of NJ and obviously lost that bet. So my gambling advice is radioactive right now. Stay away.


Joey B

The bitch of fantasy football is that sometimes what happens in real-life outweighs fantasy. In this case, Gronk having a bad day fantasy-wise was not nearly as bad as that Patriots game overall. I still not only won but had high score thanks to, in part, another MONNNSTER game from Michael Thomas. Still, seeing that 2 points (or so) from Gronk and what it really represented hurt.


Mattes

If it weren’t for O.J. Howard benefitting from even more FitzMagic this week, it would have been a SAD day for the Purple Cobras. Granted, I did leave over 65 points on the bench this week, which included three guys with over 17-plus points each, each of whose performance would have been better than the four-point abomination I got from Ryan Grant in my flex. (Hey! He had nine targets in Week 1!) But alas, it would not have mattered anyway, as my opponent was the league’s high-scorer this week. Fortunately, those bench guys look like they could be forces moving forward, so hopefully I can start to right the ship in Week 3 after a rough (but not insurmountable!) 0-2 start.

As far as my other league goes, I was able to pull out a two-point victory thanks in large part to Captain Kirk Cousins, who went absolute H.A.M. sandwich in Green Bay on Sunday. Pairing him up with Philip Rivers in a two-QB league proved to be quite the boon this week. Michael Thomas also continues to be a PPR juggernaut, and the fact that Chris Carson didn’t get a carry in the second half killed any chance my opponent had of winning going into what was looking like a very advantageous Monday night scenario for him. If David Johnson, Larry Fitz, and the Cardinals offense ever wakes the hell up, I’d be feeling pretty damn good about this squad. I’ll take a 1-1 start for now.