Tag: Game of Thrones

In Honor of Game of Thrones Returning, I Give You The Top 5 GOT Characters

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As everyone except those living a Ted Kaczynski-esque existence in the northern frontier of our nation knows, “Game Of Thrones” returns this Sunday for its 8th season. As most of those people understand, this will also be the final season and, indeed, the end of an era. The $50 million dollar gamble (which sounds cheap compared to later seasons) almost immediately cemented itself in the upper echelons of pop culture, becoming as well know for driving plot lines with not exactly relatable subjects such as incest, witchcraft, and castration as it has for weaving one of the most magnetic stories television has ever seen over the course of almost a decade.

While the dragons soared, the battles fought, and the bastards brooded, the latest classic delivered by the Home Box Office (“The Wire,” “The Sopranos,” GOT this is getting ridiculous) produced, as their shows tend to do, some absolutely classic characters. Ones you can quote. Ones you want to have a beer with. Ones you want to beat the ever loving shit out of. Characters that just evoke intense, human reactions and emotions from the millions upon millions of people that have watched the show.

So I’ve decided to give you a Top 5. The top 5 best characters. Now, you are not getting a surface-level “most screen time,” “who drives the story the most?” list here. No, while things like how much they are are actually on the show were accounted for, I really wanted to dive deep into these characters’ Id. Of the endless faces and names (for sure not the same count, after all) we have seen since 2011, I wanted to deduce who really reeled us in to their mind, body, and soul the most. Who made us sit up whenever they went to give a monologue? Who did we realize in our borderline-insane attempt at a six week re-watch was as indispensable as the Wall?

With the help of a few of my fellow bloggers I set out to answer those questions and more. Enjoy.

Honorable Mentions
Tormund Gianstsbane
Blogger Note: I hate to not rank Tormund, both because I love the character and Dom helped me out with the blog. But I just couldn’t justify a top 5 spot. Every man has a code.
Dom: “Gotta love Tormund Giantsbane. In addition to being a brute and a warrior, he’s also one of those guys who can actually tell the difference between good and evil. On top of that, he’s fucking hilarious. From creepy side eyes at Brienne to life advice for Jon Snow to this amazing conversation with the Hound, he’s pure gold all the time.”

Missandei and Greyworm
The realms true “couple goals” culminated in what I can only imagine was some voracious foreplay, judging by Khaleesi and Missandei’s giggling fit. Either way, the bond these two have coming from broken backgrounds and ending up at the side of the most powerful woman in their world is pretty special. Every time they interact they seem like they aren’t expecting to see each other ever again and it is both heartbreaking and endearing.

Quote:
Greyworm: Wounded in war, there is no shame for this. I am ashamed because when the knife go in and I fall to the ground, I am afraid.
Missandei: All men fear death
Greyworm: No, not death. I fear I never again see Missandei from the Isle of Naath.

The Top 5

5.) Ser Davos Seaworth


I know, I know, I spurn Tormund then rank Ser Davos. What the fuck, right? But bear with me. Davos from day one represented the purest intentions with the strongest of convictions in the 7 kingdoms. He began as the fiercely loyal right hand to a man he knew to be as flawed as he was great and has continued on as an older foil to Jon Snow’s Starkian code of only the most undiluted honor. When he speaks you listen, because it is nothing but blue collar, honest truth he is spitting.

Quote:
(With the mutineers breaking down the door) “I’m not much of a fighter…Apologies for what you’re about to see.”

4.) Bronn (Ser Bronn of the Blackwater)


Red: “I gotta go with Bronn. He’s what every man wants to be; careless, reckless, and often legless. Bronn is also sneaky one of the most dangerous men in the 7 kingdoms. Throw in some killer one liners and Bronn is the clear choice as the best character in Game of Thrones.”

Quote:
Bronn:  There’s this knight, uh, Leygood. Got thunderbolts on his shield?
Jaime: Uh-huh.
Bronn: Right here is where I fuck his wife. She’s a screamer, that one. If they don’t hear her, they won’t hear us.

3.) Robb Stark

Yup, that’s right, a guy who died years ago. I don’t care. During my re-watch I was reminded just how good Robb Stark was. Above all else, he was intense. That is such an overused, cliched word but everything King Robb said was layered in desperation, frustration, urgency, and at the same time deep contemplation. He wasn’t just fighting a war, he was trying to mentally and emotionally will his way to victory. There was just something so human about how badly he wanted what he wanted because he thought it was right and made sense. Damn.

Quote:
Rob Stark: “I asked him, How can a man be brave if he’s afraid? That is the only time a man can be brave, he told me.”

2.) Tyrion Lannister


You just can’t leave him off this no matter which way you spin it. The Imp. The Half-man. The Dwarf. He is a half-pint of vice yet a barrel of ethical vigor. He uses sarcasm and condescension as a weapon to mask that deep down he is the only one among his family members who is kind, loving, and even tender and gentle. He likewise has an inner fury that he’ll aim at those who strike down upon the lowly, as he has been struck down on so much in his life. He also fucks a lot which is cool.

Quote:
Missandei: How do you know this?
Tyrion: That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things.

1.) Lord Tywin Lannister

BOMBSHELL. BSHHHHHHH. Ya I know. Me too. I texted Red this the other day and I’m sticking to it. Tywin is the best character on the show. He is the Vince McMahon of the realm. He leaves for a few scenes and then his music hits and you’re like ooo shit. Either with his army or his tongue he is going to carve someone the fuck in half. O and if he just doesn’t feel like he needs to use either he has a smirk or otherwise deadly facial expression to rip you to pieces with. He was a motherfucker, yes. An absolute piece of shit at times. He did it for his family in the end though. He never lost sight of his one rule. Kind of have to respect that.

Quote:
Tywin Lannister: “Any man who must say, ‘I am the king’ is no true king.”

So I hope you enjoyed that. Maybe you love or hate me for the picks. Either way we like to have fun around here. Enjoy Season 8. Winter is here.

-Joey B.

 

 

Oscar Isaac Wants to Play Snake in Metal Gear Solid Movie. Who Else Should Star?

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Credit: GeekCulture.co

IGN – Oscar Isaac wants the world to know that he is game to play Solid Snake in the planned Metal Gear Solid movie adaptation.

While participating in IGN’s cast roundtable for Netflix’s Triple Frontier, IGN host Max Scoville asked the star-studded lineup — including Isaac, Pedro Pascal, Ben Affleck, Garrett Hedlund and Charlie Hunnam — which video game-turned-film they would want to be a part of. Isaac, who is best known for his role in Star Wars as Poe Dameron, was quick to voice his interest in the Hideo Kojima classic Metal Gear Solid.

“Metal Gear Solid, that’s the one,” said Isaac. “I’m throwing my hat in for that one.”

The Metal Gear Solid franchise is one of, if not my favorite, series of games of all time so any tidbits of news regarding the oft rumored live action movie is lifeblood to me. I also just called Oscar Isaac one of the best actors of my generation so to say I would be excited for this would be the understatement of the century.

Friend of The 300s, BossLogic, actually photoshopped Isaac as Snake last summer and I think its safe to say the mullet would fit him well.

Even the MGS movie’s director was tweeting about the whole thing this morning so suffice to say it sounds like the man running the whole operation is into it.

Now I’ll believe this movie actually gets made when I see it at the Fenway Regal Cinemas. It’s been in the works for years before landing the director of Kong Skull Island (never saw it) and Metal Gear Solid stan, Jordan Vogt-Roberts. Seriously this guy literally campaigned for the director role and last summer tweeted out 31 straight days of MGS concept art to honor the 31 years of the franchise.

Now why has this movie taken so long to get made when garbage games like Rampage (no disrespect, Dwayne) are already getting adaptations? Well Metal Gear Solid just has such a complex web of storylines, characters, political commentary, and general idiosyncrasies that only really make sense after multiple 30-40 hour sittings. Hideo Kojima is a legend, but I honestly have zero idea how you turn something like Sons of Liberty into a coherent movie without it being 5 hours long. GOOD LUCK trying explain the differences between Solid Snake, Solidus Snake, Liquid Snake, and Big Boss to someone unfamiliar with the games. I’ve been playing these games since 2002 and sometimes I’m not even sure.

With that being said, I would love to see some of the Metal Gear Solid characters on the big screen. Some of these characters are bat shit insane and would be pretty difficult to pull off in a feature film, but hey thats not my problem to worry about. But please, for the love of god do not include Raiden in this movie. The single most disappointing part in this entire MGS franchise, is the switch in antagonist from Snake to Raiden in MGS2.

Kotaku disagrees.

Since this movie is still in early days they have yet to cast anyone or even teased a general synopsis. So lets break down the characters I’d most want to see on the big screen and who should don those roles in a Metal Gear Solid movie.

Vamp – Jason Momoa
a member of Dead Cell from Romania. He is a knife-throwing specialist endowed with numerous vampire-like abilities and attributes, such as a taste for blood, superhuman strength, speed, agility, the ability to walk on vertical walls and run across water

Momoa has the perfect look to play Vamp and we know he can do an accent after a whole season of speaking Dothraki. Momoa has the intimidating physical presence and subtle humor to pull off the deadly Vamp.

 

 

Psycho Mantis – Ben Foster
a psychic expert for Liquid Snake’s FOXHOUND unit in Metal Gear Solid…Prior to joining FOXHOUND, he worked with the KGB and the FBI. His special abilities include the psychic powers of psychokinesis and telepathy…As a result of being disgusted with his father’s inner thoughts, he burned his own village and started despising people.

Ben Foster has crazy down pat. I just keep coming back to his absolute meltdown in 2006’s Alpha Dog where he literally beats up an entire room full of people while searching for his kid brother.

 

 

Skull Face – Ed Harris
The commander of the mysterious Special Forces XOF unit, he is distinguished by his heavily scarred face, hairless head, and his choice of tailored suits over combat fatigues. His identity and nationality are initially unknown.

If you’ve never watched Westworld then this might seem out of left field, but Harris would crush this role as the calm, calculated, and sinister Skull Face. Plus he’s already got the suit and black cowboy hat to fill out the role.

 

 

Revolver Ocelot – Christoph Waltz
a gunslinger-themed member of the FOXHOUND terrorists involved with the hostile revolt on Shadow Moses Island which housed Metal Gear REX, serving as the team’s interrogation expert and their leader Liquid Snake’s right-hand man

This role is going to take an A-list thespian who can play the eccentric, power hungry, treacherous character in Ocelot and I think we’ve seen that from Christoph Waltz. Just take a look back at Inglorious Basterds for even 10 minutes if you disagree.

 

Who do you think should star in the upcoming Metal Gear Solid movie? Tweet your best castings to @The300sBoston

Game of Thrones Season 8 to Feature “Longest Consecutive Battle Sequence Ever Committed to Film.”

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IGN – The wording there is interesting. EW says the episode will “be” the longest battle sequence, not “include” it, which implies the battle will take up the entirety of its runtime. With some episodes this season expected to run up to 90 minutes long, that could be very considerable.

Besides being the greatest TV show of all time, Game of Thrones features the most technically complex battles scene that have a bigger scale than anything we’ve ever seen in the history of entertainment. Last season ended with the White Walkers waltzing through the Wall with a brand new ice dragon marching south. Meanwhile Khaleesi is on her way up to Winterfell so I would not be surprised if we see some massive action in the first episode. Things are going to get real messy real fast and I don’t know if I’m ready for it emotionally.

In the meantime lets take a look back at some of the biggest battles we’ve seen so far.

The Battle of Blackwater Bay
S2E9 is when we were introduced to just how intelligent Tyrion really is and we also learn that Wildfire isn’t just some garbage potion that wannabe wizards used to play with.

Battle of the Bastards
S6E9 is where Jon Snow became the GOAT and we witnessed the largest live action battle scene of all time. Suffocating, tense, and heartbreaking; the Battle of the Bastards always gets my blood flowing. Plus that sonofabitch Ramsay finally gets what he’s had coming to him for 4 seasons.

Hardhome
S5E8 is a truly terrifying episode where we finally fully realize the scope of what the White Walkers can do and how screwed Jon Snow and company all really are.

The Loot Train
S7E4 is where Dany shows everyone why the Targaryen’s ruled the world with nothing but a few dragons.

The Battle of Castle Black
S4E9 is just another beautifully coreographed sequence of events. Multiple fights at once, arrows flying all around, fires burning, and Olly…that sonofabitch Olly.

We’re just a little over a month away from the Season 8 premiere, so if you’re like me and woefully behind on your Thrones rewatch it’s time to get in gear.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents – Thor: The Dark World

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More than any other Marvel film, the first two Thor movies require so much explanation right out of the gates. Theres definitely a lot going on, but it’s never a great start when the first 5 minutes of the movie require an Anthony Hopkins voiceover to explain the background. Especially after we’ve already met Thor and the whole crew just 2 years prior.

I haven’t watched Thor 2 since I saw it in theaters in 2013. All I remembered about this movie was that all kinds of stuff got destroyed in London. Thats it.

Before we get into the review though I have to point out one thing. THANK GOD THEY FIXED THOR’S EYEBROWS. I mentioned it in my review of Thor 1, but it’s something that bothered me for a decade because I could never quite put my finger on what it was.

Thor 1

Thor 2

Okay now that thats been addressed we can move on amicably.

So we begin with Loki being sentenced to a lifetime of prison in the Asgardian tombs for his crimes in Thor 1 and The Avengers.

Thor drops into save the day on another battle that his team is fighting for some reason or another. Apparently after the bifrost was destroyed (its fixed now) all the other realms rebelled for some reason so the Asgardians are trying to get all nine realms to bend the knee once again. In a common theme in this movie, it doesn’t really matter why.

Back on Earth Jane (Natalie Portman) is in London investigating science stuff (again doesn’t matter why) when she stumbles upon a rift in dimensions of some sort. Gravity is all wonky and they discover a wormhole of sorts when they throw trash, bricks, and car keys into the portal only to have them disappear entirely. Jane then gets sucked into one of these wormholes and comes into contact with a dark force. Doing so appears to have awoken the Dark Elves that Thor’s grandfather banished so many years ago.

It’s only when Thor goes to talk with Heimdall and asks about Jane do they realize somethings wrong; Heimdall can’t see her. So Thor bombs down to London to check on her. When the cops show up and try to arrest Jane for trespassing she goes Super Saiyan and nearly blows the guy away. Unsure of what the hell is going on Thor takes her back to Asgard for help. Odin recognizes this dark force as the Aether, which his voiceover from the beginning of the film explains how the Dark Elves weaponized thousands of years ago.

“Their leader, Malekith, made a weapon out of that darkness, it was called the Aether. While the other relics often appear as stones, the Aether is fluid, and ever changing. It changes matter into dark matter, and seeks out host bodies, drawing strength from their life force.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Asgard has the absolute WORST security in all of the MCU. In each of the Thor movies a villain sneaks into Asgard somehow undetected and sets off an explosion. In. every. single. movie. In this instance, one of the Dark Elves poses as a prisoner being transported to Asgard Jail. Anddd about 10 minutes later this Dark Elf breaks out (with an explosion) and starts a full scale prison riot.

“It is as if they resent being in prison,” one of Thor’s warriors hilariously quips.

Heimdall spotting an invisible ship trying to sneak into Asgard and taking it down with a nothing but a couple of daggers is low key the best scene in the movie.

Thanks to the prison riot distraction the Dark Elf faux prisoner is able to knock out the Asgardian castle’s defenses so Malekith and his army can roll right up to the front door. He’s looking for the Aether, which currently lives inside Natalie Portman.

Now in return for helping hide Natalie Portman from Malekith, Thor’s mom is rewarded with a sword through the back. Thor chases Malekith and the dark elves out of Asgard. With their defenses destroyed Oden opts to wait for the intruders to return leaving Asgard and its people as sitting ducks.

Thor doesn’t exactly agree with his father and concocts a plan to use Jane as bait to draw Malekith out of hiding. With the bifrost closed and the Tesseract locked away, Thor needs a little help sneaking off Asgard.

Quick aside: Scottish actors have an absolute lock on these Viking roles as the Mrs. sniped Game of Thrones actor Clive Russell as one of Oden’s Asgardian generals, who is best known for playing the Blackfish.

I understand that Viking culture is Viking culture, but there are a lot of similarities to Game of Thrones in this movie. Welp, turns out the director of Thor 2, Alan Taylor, has also directed several episodes of Thrones. Small world.

Anyways, with a little help from Sif and the Warriors Three, Thor is able to get off Asgard alongside Loki and Jane.

Back on Earth: Another annoying thing about this movie is that Professor Erik Selvig is legitimately crazy the entire movie, running around naked at one point before getting arrested,

only to become completely normal again in the final act of the movie. The only explanation given is his quip “I’ve had a God in my brain, I don’t recommend it” and him throwing out a bag of prescription pills he’s been popping. I guesss Loki’s mind control from The Avengers is having some residual effects, but I don’t know. Again, doesn’t really matter why.

Time to science.

Now that Thor and Loki are on the Dark World, they need to defeat Malekith and destroy the Aether. Loki breaks out some A+ trickery in the final 30 minutes here stabbing his brother and chopping off Thor’s hand as a ploy to catch Malekith off guard as he pulls the Aether from Jane. (This whole movie has a very X-Men 3: Dark Phoenix vibe to it and thats not a good thing.)  Except it doesn’t really work. Malekith takes the Aether and jets while Loki dies protecting Thor, or so we’re led to believe.

Stuck on this random Dark World with no way home Marvel introduces the most blatant deus ex machina that I’ve ever seen. Remember that random portal Jane and friends were throwing trash into in the beginning of the movie? Welp it’s a direct gateway from London to the random Dark World cave that Thor and Jane are in right now!

It’s not really until the end of the movie that I even understood what Malekith’s motives are and why the final battle is in London. Basically all nine realms are converging and when that happens it’s like a massive solar eclipse. It also gives him the opportunity to bring darkness (destroy?) all of the realms at once. Bringing it back to the heyday of the dark elves, who actually ruled the universe before Thor’s grandfather defeated them. Well the center point for this whole convergence is Greenwich, London.

I’m shocked they didn’t go with the Powerman 5000 soundtrack for the final scene of the movie when worlds literally collide.

Final battle between Thor and Malekith ensues. Thor defeats the bad guy and contains the Aether.

A nice twist at the end though as Thor goes to tell his father he will refuse the throne and as he walks away we see that it is actually Loki posing as Oden!

Mid credits scene: We are introduced to The Collector for the first time and it’s revealed that the Aether is in fact an Infinity Stone as Sif leaves it with him for safe keeping.

Post credits scene: Thor returns to London for some smooches. Thor will return.

Final Rating: 6/10

This movie isn’t bad per se, it’s just a bit nonsensical at times and overall forgettable. Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston’s likeability are the only thing that really redeem the movie because the plot is confusing, the villain is a faceless bore, and the motives of everyone involved are murky. But due to the brilliant rapport of Hemsworth and Hiddleston the movie is a decent way to kill 2 hours.

Up next in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind is Captain America: The Winter Solider!

 

Game of Thrones Officially Announces Premiere Date

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Finally, an actual target I can mark down in my calendar unlike the last time Thrones was trending for a “premiere date” when it was revealed GoT would return in April….which is a month and not an actual date. So this was welcome news this AM.

The new trailer actually dropped last night, which I missed, ironically enough, because I am currently in the midst of a Thrones rewatch. And just like I said I wouldn’t do, I am woefully behind. Ned Stark is Protector of the Realm right now for christ’s sake. Currently I have 3 episodes remaining in Season 1 along with all of Seasons 2-7 so there are 66 episodes still left on my plate. With the April 14th premiere date, that means there are 91 days left until we hear that sweet, sweet opening music. (If I had to bet, I would say they go with a cold opening so we probably won’t hear the music to start, but thats besides the point)

So for anyone that has yet to get on the Game of Thrones bandwagon or for anyone that wants to start a rewatch, we are rapidly approaching an episode per day territory. April 14th cannot come soon enough. Gods be good.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Thor

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I remember I held off on seeing Thor until I had to no choice since it was a prerequisite for understanding the Avengers. Similar to when Iron Man first came out I had absolutely zero idea who the hell Thor was so I had pretty low expectations coming into this one. The story itself is a bit out there, but it presented the first opportunity for the MCU to really expand its grasp beyond that of Earth and it does it pretty well. It also does a great job of introducing SHIELD in a universal, nay galactic, role without totally shoehorning it into the movie. The highlight of the film though is definitely Chris Hemsworth, who was a complete unknown at this point, but became instantly enjoyable with his brash, aloof demi-god character.

Synopsis

Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings, and Stellan Skarsgård as Dr. Selvig are storm chasing, looking to unearth some type of astrological phenomenon, when they end up smoking an unidentified person with their van, who we learn is Chris Hemsworth falling from the sky.

An Anthony Hopkins voiceover explains the concept of life beyond Earth, officially introducing intergalactic characters into the MCU. The Frost Giants are introduced as the original big baddie with a weapon of mass destruction. This blue cube looks exactly like a lot of other colorful glowing cubes in the MCU, but this is *not* in fact an Infinity Stone. It’s actually The Casket of Ancient Winters.

(The first reference of an Infinity Stone in the MCU won’t be revealed until the end of this movie actually.) So as the Frost Giants tried to take over the universe, including Earth, Odin defeats them (and loses his eye in the process…just like his son would also do years later!) and returns home to Asgard with the ancient relic for safe keeping.

Years later Thor is on the precipice of being crowned the new king of Asgard and Loki is visibly bullshit. But, wait! Before Odin can officially say the words to make Thor king the Frost Giants have “somehow” snuck into Asgard and they want their blue cube back.

We also meet The Destroyer, who protects all of Odin’s dangerous toys and subsequently kills the Frost Giant intruders. Don’t sleep on this guy because he’ll be back.

Thor defies his fathers wishes and goes to Jotunheim, home of the Frost Giants, looking for answers and starts a big old battle. Key scene here shows one of Thor’s warriors getting burned by a Frost Giant, yet when Loki gets touched his skin turns blue and we see the wheels start to turn in his head. The battle goes on before Odin not surprisingly has to come rescue the crew before banishing Thor for disobeying him.

I have to say, in the beginning of this movie, Thor sounds an awfulll lot like Prince Joffrey now that I rewatch it.

Full of arrogance, mean, and just itching to start a war before Odin shuts him down.

Back to Earth.

Along with Thor Odin sends his son’s hammer, Mjolnir, to Earth saying only he who is worthy of its power will be able to wield the weapon. (Not you, Loki)

In a direct reference to Excalibur (the director has a fondness for Shakespeare and such), Thor’s hammer lands in the New Mexico desert and people come from all over trying to pull it from the ground before SHIELD quarantines the entire area.

Natalie Portman has all of her scientific research confiscated by SHIELD and now that her and Hemsworth are acquainted, Thor promises to give her all the answers she seeks if she drives him out to the crash site where Mjolnir currently sits.

We’re also introduced to Hawkeye for the very first time in this scene as Thor tries to fight through the SHIELD base to get his hammer back.

How about Jeremy Renner? Remember when he was tapped to be the next biggest movie star on the planet? He was in The Town, Thor, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and the Avengers back to back to back to back. Thats four absolute heaters in a row he starred in before making the snooze fest that was The Bourne Legacy followed up by Hansel and Gretel. WHO IS HIS AGENT?

Unfortunately Thor comes to learn without his powers he is unable to lift Mjolnir, which is what finally breaks his spirit from the cocky warrior that he has been. Luckily Dr. Selvig talks his way into getting Thor out of SHIELD custody.

THIS IS WHERE THE MOVIE HITS THE WRAP IT UP BOX

Thor’s righthand men and women (Lady Sif and the Warriors Three) take the bifrost bridge and teleport to Earth as they look to bring back their rightful king, which Loki doesn’t appreciate so he send the Defender to Earth to destroy them all. Once Thor’s crew promptly gets their asses kicked, the Thunder God offers his own life to spare the others. His apparent death is the selfless act necessary to grant the return of his powers and Mjolnir. Thor then makes quick work of the robot from The Day the Earth Stood Still.

This is where things get a little confusing. Loki cuts a deal with the Frost Giants to let them into Asgard so they can kill Odin…so he can become king…I guess. Then despite opening the goddamn door for them, Loki kills the Frost Giant before it can kill Odin. A cunning trickster indeed.

Loki reveals his grand plan is to open up the bifrost to destroy the Jotunheim.

Huh?

His plan was to rescue his father and then wipe the Frost Giants out to earn his father’s respect and become the true heir. I think? By starting war and committing genocide, which Odin was openly against from the start of the movie and is exactly what got Thor banished in the first place.

I don’t know, this never gets explained very well.

I’m pretty sure the third act of this movie is used solely to set up Thor’s reason for even being around during the Avengers. To stop Loki, Thor is forced to destroy the bifrost.

Odin wakes up from his dirt nap and a defeated Loki lets himself fall from the broken bridge as we’re left to wonder where he went.

Apropos of Nothing:

Heimdall is still the best. It’s a shame how criminally underused Idris Alba was in the whole MCU.

Loki really is one of the best anti-heroes in comic book history. After learning of his Frost Giant heritage he flips out on Odin and gives us one of the most popular GIFs of all time:

The whole exchange gives Odin a heart attack and as he drops Loki cries out for the guards. Despite all the evil shit Loki does in the following movies, you can’t help but feel for the guy.

The Breadcrumbs of the MCU…

“I knew this scientist, the pioneer in gamma radiation. SHIELD showed up and he wasn’t heard from again.”

What Has Aged Well

The one liners still land remarkably well.

  • Thor walks into a pet store and yells “I need a horse.”
  • “That still doesn’t explain how he was able to tear through our defenses?”
    • “STEROIDS!”
  • “Is that one of Stark’s?”
    • “I don’t know, he doesn’t tell me anything anymore.”
  • Thor calling Agent Coulson “Son of Cole.”
  • Thursday = Thor’s Day

What Has Not Aged Well

It took me seven years to figure it out, but I finally realized why Chris Hemsworth looks so weird in Thor 1 compared to all of the other movies he’s in. They died his goddamn eyebrows for some reason in the first movie, but then never did it again.

Thor 1:

Avengers 1:

Thor 2:

Oh my god the product placement. I must have seen that 7/11 sign no less than 30 times.

Asgard has fucking TERRIBLE security as the whole realm gets invaded in 2/3rds of Thor’s standalone films.

The Frost Giants look a hell of a lot like the White Walkers. Thor came out a month after Game of Thrones officially premiered, so GoT technically got the jump. After 7 seasons of Thrones they have the icy blue look on lock.

Rating

Thor was the first pleasant surprise of the MCU. Iron Man was great, but we had literally zero expectations for that. Hulk was always a disaster so anything after the Eric Bana mess would have been good enough. Thor was the first MCU movie that I was actively not looking forward to at all. A space god with long blonde hair directed by Sir Kenneth Branagh, a guy best known for Henry V, Hamlet, and Shakespeare? Sounded like a recipe for a disaster, but ended up being very entertaining. Thor holds up surprisingly well seven years later and sets up the MCU to tackle stories beyond that of just Earth.

7/10

 

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POST CREDITS SCENE

Breaking Down Bovada’s Odds Of The Last King/Queen Standing On “Game Of Thrones”

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I figured for fans of The 300s who are into gambling, I’d break down for the two of you this list and see if we can decipher our safe plays at this point as well address any oddities.

-First and foremost, I’m surprised there aren’t a couple more Jora/Greyworm/bit character/warrior-types as long shots.

-Jamie Lannister at the bottom seems a bit odd, but if you think about it, when did he ever express a personal craving for power? It just doesn’t seem to be on his list of priorities, a list which currently consists of stabbing people and fucking his twin sister.

-Unless there’s some deep-GOT stuff regarding Bran I don’t know about, I’m perplexed he’s even on this list, let alone this high. I’ve heard the usual conspiracies regarding Westeros’ favorite paraplegic who possibly has used a bit too much ayahuasca, but none of them end with Bran himself being in a position of power, if you winkwink nudgenudge get my drift.

-Cersei being this low is either a sign of people trying to get way too #woke or that they just still don’t understand what a bad bitch she is. I don’t know which but she should be higher.

-How fuckin pissed would people if Gendry won this thing? That said, if you’ve seen my twitter avatar you know I’m #ChrisMilesForever so I am all for Joseph Dempsey’s character picking up the dub.

Onto some picks….

Arya Stark (+900)

This could be another “woke” pick but out of the contenders I guarantee you Arya is among the last few to die, if at all. She just won’t go away.

Tyrion Lannister (+1000)

This feels about right for Tyrion, who despite all his cunning and intelligence, two traits that aren’t without fragility as we saw last season, has consistently been exposed by brute force. Also, he has always just seemed doomed – at least to me. That said, a late run with an army behind him, possibly that of a fallen fellow contender, is not out of the realm (baboom) of possibility.

Sansa Stark (+1300)

Take my motherfucking money. In Sansa, we’ve seen the beginning to end of Cersei Lannister’s own road to sociopathy. She is going to be HARD to take down.

The Night King (+900)

Ya, he’s prolly gonna win.

 

Game of Thrones Officially Premieres in April, Now I Can Plan My Rewatch

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First off, every news outlet reporting that Game of Thrones has an “official release date” can kick rocks. Fake News like you read about. April is not a date, April is a month. HBO could have just told me Thrones is returning in Q1 and I’d have the same amount of information.

BUT it is exciting to know that Thrones won’t be getting pushed back to summer, which I was worried about since they’re essentially filming 6 movies. It also needed to premiere before May to be eligible for next years Emmys technically, so I’m sure that was a strong incentive.

Now its time to fire up the annual rewatch. This show has so many characters, storylines, and subtleties that you’re missing a ton if you’re relying on your memory from a single viewing. Hell, if you don’t read the books you’re out of the loop as HBO just punts on details that help clarify a lot of things. I’ve read 1.5 of the books and it’s helped immensely. But rewatching a show of this magnitude is DAUNTING.

7 seasons of Thrones is a goddamn commitment, but I’m ready to take this challenge head on. I’m just trying to avoid what happened last year. I did not allot for enough time to comfortably rewatch all 6 seasons before the premiere so I was watching like 2 episodes a night the week of the season premiere. You don’t know stress until you’re trying to cram like 3,600 minutes of Thrones into a month.

Now for anyone that wants to join me on this journey I did the math (accurately I think?) on just how long this will take. So with Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years coming up most of us will be shutting it down at work anyways, so heres what you’ll need to breeze through every single Game of Thrones episode ahead of the final season.

  • 7 seasons
  • 73 episodes
  • Avg 60 minutes each
  • 4,380 minutes total
  • 4.5 months
  • 138 days until April 1st

Since we don’t know the exact premiere date we’ll just use April 1st as a placeholder to be safe. This breakdown gives you 138 days to burn through 73 episodes, which if you wanted to start today you would need to watch one episode every 1.8 days in order to catch up in time. May it serve you well.

Poor Sean Bean, the Video Game Hitman 2 Now Even Lets You Kill Ned Stark

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Engadget – Movie producers have seemingly gone out of their way to kill Sean Bean in whatever role he plays, so it only makes sense that you could off him in a game, right? IO Interactive certainly thinks so — it has revealed that the first Elusive Target in Hitman 2 is none other than the perpetually ill-fated actor. Bean plays Mark Faba, an ex-MI5 agent who has become a freelance assassin. He’s nicknamed “The Undying” due to his knack for faking his own death, but you’re clearly there to put an end to that streak.

This guy gets axed in *spoiler alert* EVERYTHING. Now he’s even going to get gatted in video game form thanks to Hitman 2. Count me in.

Sean Bean’s got 131 acting credits to his name on IMDB and I would guess he dies in no less than half of those. I’ll also never forget Papa Giorgio just straight up ruining Game of Thrones for me, despite himself, never having watched an episode. Back in 2014 I’m finally diving into Season 1 of Thrones and burning through it when he walks in and says “Oh he’s still alive?” Well the next 5 episodes were just me waiting for the inevitable Sean Bean death scene.

PS – Hitman was an absolute BANGER back in the day on my PS2 in high school, but after about 5 minutes of sneaking around every mission turned into this:

The 300s Just Had Its Best Month EVER. Get On This Train Now Before It’s Too Late

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So just a quick little update for everyone that takes the time out of their day to read this humble Boston blog from time to time. September was the best month EVER for The 300s.

And I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for reading, commenting, tweeting, and sharing our stuff. This site continues to grow as does The 300s brand as a whole. The 300s Podcast also had its best month ever, no big deal. We’ve got some new things in the works over the next few months so keep an eye out for all those announcements. In the meantime, lets take a look at the top posts from September, the top performing month since I started this operation way back in 2016.