The #Lions are expected to sign another former #Patriot, this time pass-rusher Trey Flowers, source confirms (as @AdamSchefter reported). It’s a 5-year deal. Should be more than $16M or $17M.
Well there you have it folks. Mere minutes after giving Justin “The Island” Coleman $36 million over four years Matt Patricia has landed another former member of his Patriots defense in Trey Flowers.
From the team side of things, Patricia is trying like hell to save his job. He lost the locker room last year, along with a fuckton of games, and he is desperate to get back in the win column not only on the field but with the entire organization. I guess he is hoping surrounding himself with familiar faces may do just that. And of course Trey Flowers as we know is a tremendous player so this is a win.
As for Flowers, well earlier today Malik Jackson got $10 million a year so you knew he was getting more than that. Boy o boy did he get paid. I was wrong about that. On top of that he’ll get to play for a coach he is familiar with and who knows how to utilize his talents in the best ways possible for both the team and, I’m guessing, Trey Flowers. If he stays in Detroit for the length of this deal, he’ll be 31 when it expires. That is plenty young enough for a defensive lineman to sign at least one more decent contract.
So this sucks. We’re losing one of our two best defensive players (I’d say it is/was Flowers and Gilmore). That will happen when you stand out as a swiss army knife stud on a perennial super bowl contender, and winner. Hopefully, the signing of Michael Bennett that Big Z and I have both written about will help cushion the blow. Nothing more we can do now but keep an eye on the draft.
12up – The NFL broadcast booth will have a very entertaining presence in the final week of the regular season. Former Indianapolis Colts punter Pat McAfee will call this Sunday’s Detroit Lions-Green Bay Packers game, the first NFL game in his broadcasting career.
I’ll be totally honest, I was not familiar with Pat McAfee aside from the infamous arrest and drunken mug shot (which he tells the story of brilliantly) before he got to Barstool Sports. The former Colts punter was not someone I expected to be looking forward to his broadcasting debut, but here we are. McAfee is a hilarious guy with a serious talent for storytelling, which obviously lends itself to not only stand up comedy, but television work like broadcasting.
After a meteoric rise at Barstool where he became a nationally known name for something beyond his bionic leg, McAfee had a sudden and bizarre breakup with the Stool. I don’t know the inner workings of what exactly happened, but nevertheless McAfee became a free agent once again and it looks like he’ll be trying his talents in the booth for now.
I’m sure it goes beyond just kicking, but McAfee is known for breaking down the finer details of the punting game on Twitter from time to time so the guys clearly knows his stuff.
I will definitely be tuning in to hear McAfee during the Packers Lions game this weekend and for all you poors that don’t have Sunday Ticket, the game will be on FOX so check it out.
Welcome, welcome to our awards. Before we begin I’m going to briefly kick it to our team on tonight’s red carpet…
Thank Joey! Here we see Founder Red wearing a Lakers jersey with camo cargo shorts. I’m really digging his ironic choice that is clearly a protest to our recent cooperation with North Korea. Back to the studio…
Thanks guys! Now before we proceed I should probably explain what these awards actually are about since nobody fucking knows.
We have all picked a bust or 12 throughout our fantasy football seasons, however most are of either the “reach” or “hard on” variety. A “reach”, as is well known, is a player you pick a bit too high, possibly motivated by the fear of someone else picking him. A “hard on” pick, for lack of a more enlightened term, would refer to players that we just personally really like without a ton evidence as to why and that simply don’t work out.
These awards, however, celebrate the “cock teases” – players who are picked at a good time given their value, normally put up good numbers relative to that selection point, yet completely fuck us. They don’t buy us dinner first either, just bend us over the analogous 10, 12, or 16 team table and fuck us.
So without further ado, as composed by and contributed to by our talented staff, I give you The 300s 2018 All Cock Tease Team:
QB: Jimmy Garoppolo, San Francisco 49ers Red:I was ready for Jimmy G to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes that was my 2017 fantasy season, but in his third game the most handsome ACL in the league exploded and I was stuck with Matt Stafford at QB the rest of the way.
RB1: Jordan Howard, Chicago Bears Mattes: Now, a lot of people might give me crap for drafting Howard in the second round of a PPR draft. First, I’d like to respond by saying it’s only a half-point league, and, second, the guy also had two-straight 1,200-plus-yard seasons and nine touchdowns last year on a bad team. I – like many – expected the Bears to be much-improved this year (which they certainly are), and I also believed new head coach Matt Nagy when he said he’d finally get Howard more involved in the passing game. Then came along Tarik Cohen, and there were also five games this year in which Howard averaged under 2.6 yards a carry. In fact, Cohen actually ended up finishing over FOURTY spots ahead of Howard in the overall rankings this year. Picked the wrong guy, I guess, huh?
RB2: Le’veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers
GUEST CONTRIBUTION! Patty Blackouts: I mean what is there to say besides he’s a seflish fuck who passed up 850k a week to sit out and try and protect his body to try and get a long term deal. Took him 4th overall thinking he’d show up sometime around end of September or October and nope just sat out all season sending cryptic tweets so you’d think he was going to report and next ya know he’s playing pickup basketball games at the local Y. I hope no one pays him what he wants and he regrets passing up the 14.5 mill he would have been paid this season by signing the franchise tag. But yes I’m bitter because I used my first overall pick on him in fantasy got the same amount of points out of him as he did paychecks this season….0!
I hope he gets hurt in the next preseason.
Douchebag.
WR1: Quincy Enunwa, Goddam Jets
Red: No one, and I mean no one in my fantasy league watches more Jets games than me as the Mrs. is a huge fan. So watching a team that bad I was determined to derive some value out of it, which is exactly what Quincy Enunwa was going to do for me. Enunwa was going to be the steal of the draft as he put up 15, 12 and 10 points in 3 of the first 4 games, but then his season was derailed by various injuries. He cracked 6 points just once after September…
WR2: Golden Tate, Detroit Lions/Philadelphia Eagles
Joey B: Tate started the season as Matthew Stafford’s #1 option in what is normally a high flying Detroit offense. To that end, he kicked off the season with games of 17, 15, 10 and TWENTY FUCKING NINE. After that he completely shit the bed, probably became an asshole in the locker room because he realized his name is fucking Golden, and then got traded to Philly where he had one game of 20, coincidentally the only other time he’s seen the end zone since September, and seemingly is hated by all 12 of Philly’s playoff-ready QBs.
TE: Gronk
Joey B: I always pick Gronk wayyyy too high because he plays a position where all of 4-5 guys give you tremendous amounts of points and even among those guys he usually stands out. But this year, as the world knows, was different. He’s just broken and I’m just sad.
Flex1: Jarvis Landry, Cleveland Browns
Mattes: Landry wasn’t without a few big games of his own this year. Also like Cousins, Landry was a guy whom I expected to make a huge splash with a new team this season, but instead was super inconsistent. Yes, he had to deal with learning how to play with two different QBs this year, but remember that Baker Mayfield has been playing since Week 3. In the 13 games he’s played with Mayfield, Landry has put up single-digit totals in seven of them. For a guy who averaged 99 catches per season before this year, his mark of 72 through 16 games this year is incredibly disappointing.
Flex2: Chris Hogan, New England Patriots
Big Z: With Brandin Cooks in LA and Julian Edelman sidelined for the first four games of the season, I was certain Chris Hogan was a steal in the fifth round. He would be one of Tom Brady’s top targets the first month of the season, and hopefully stay in the mix even after Edelman returned.
Hogan scored two touchdowns in Week 2, but he wouldn’t find the end zone again for three months. By that time I had already dropped him and moved on. Just another cautionary tale of putting too much stock in to a Patriots WR/RB for fantasy football purposes.
D/ST: San Diego Los Angeles Chargers
Joey B: With Joey Bosa and company up front and some decent pieces in the secondary, I thought the “pressure creates turnovers” rule would get me some points on D. Instead Bosa got hurt and the Chargers are last in return yards allowed.
Kicker: Dan Bailey, Minnesota Vikings
Big Z: Drafting and picking up kickers in fantasy football is a bit of a crap shoot. You just try to pick up a guy who kicks for a team with a good, but not great, offense. If he plays in warm weather or a dome, even better. That’s why I love NFC South kickers and why I will never draft the Bills kicker.
Dan Bailey had a rough 2017 and got released by Dallas. But he was at one time the most accurate kicker in NFL history. When he got picked up by Minnesota, I thought he would be a good guy to take a flier on. Accurate kicker on a good, not great, team that plays its home games in a dome.
Bailey is 20/27 on field goals for the Vikes this year and his 2018 may be worse than his 2017. Yikes. God help the Vikings special teams coach
*BONUS: Mid-Season Pick Up Fist Fucker of the Year*
WR: Marquez Valdes-Scantling, Green Bay Packers
Red: MVS was one of the few guys I was first to the punch on in my league and he looked like a STUD. 6’4″ with 4.3 speed and Aaron Rodgers throwing him the ball? Yes please. After a quiet start to the season MVS blew onto the scene with a 4 week stretch of 13+ points. He would post 6+ points just once the rest of the way…
The thing about New York sports fans is that they REALLY show up for their own. They think their players, coaches, and, for whatever reason, sports media personalities are Gods amongst men. Like there is a CONVENTION for Mike Francesa fans. To repeat, a sports radio show host has his own convention. It is kind of bizarre and really not relatable for those of us outside of the tri-state area.
Which is why it really says something that even New Yorkers hate Manish Mehta. He is a troll through and through that is not as much of a troll sports writer as he is a troll writer who decided to apply his trolliness to sports. Gross.
And he recently came for Gronk. Said he was washed and done and sad and depressed. Well, unfortunately for M-Squared Gronk came back Sunday and the Pats beat the Jets. There was a Gronk-spike and all.
Gronks have 87 lives, motherfucker.
Red
This is it. It took 12 weeks, but I am breaking up with Matt Stafford. After burying any chance I had before the turkey was even on the table with 7 points on Thursday, I am breaking it off. This is likely the last shot I had at the playoffs as even an average performance from Stafford gives me the win. I may just start an empty QB slot moving forward in a silent protest.
Joey B
I’m officially out of it so this shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter that I lost a BARN BURNER with a final score of 60-51 (nope, no one forgot to set their line-ups). But I forgot to put in Gronk. Those points would have given me the win. Forgive me big man.
Papa G
It’s curtains for my fantasy teams. Shout out to Fournette getting suspended too. Appreciate the self-control. We’ve officially moved into “who should I pick for my keepers” mode. TRASH.
Mattes
I’d like to start off this week by apologizing to one Amari Cooper. Since becoming a Cowboy, the man has averaged 17 points a game, which included a bananas 38-point showing on Turkey Day. That performance helped me beat Papa Giorgio this week, finally giving my suddenly resurgent team more than one measly win on the year and potentially playing spoiler for my fellow blogger’s season. I have changed my team name to “Amari’s Resurrection” in his honor. Maybe Oakland really does just suck THAT bad.
A couple “coulda, woulda, shouldas” sank my other team this week. I went for the upside with Lamar Jackson as my QB2 behind Rivers, but the extra 10 from Cousins, who was on my bench, would’ve given me the win. Or maybe playing Aaron Jones over Mark Ingram this week would’ve done it, too. I now need to win this week and have two other teams lose to get into the postseason. I’m literally hanging on by the short and curlies right now.
Big Z
With another big win in Week 12, the Z-Men have won 5 of their last 6. Fantasy football isn’t that hard when you get steady quarterback play, contributions from a few wide receivers, and 43 points out of Christian McCaffrey.
A win in Week 13 will lock up a first round bye and a guaranteed crack at some prize money. LET’S GO!
-Joey B
Blogger | Crier | British Television Obsessive| Whiskey Dickist
Yahoo – Now enjoying retirement following an 11-year NFL career, Reggie Bush took to Twitter on Sunday with a question he wanted his 2.88 million followers to answer: Do they believe this extremely anti-vaccine video he just found?…the 33-year-old linked to a video of a retired nurse castigating a CDC panel over its vaccine regulations and pushing the widely debunked theory that vaccines cause autism. The video has since been deleted for violating YouTube’s terms of service.
I’ve been reading and watching videos on flu vaccinations and other vaccinations for kids and they dangers of them and the side effects, what do you guys think about that stuff? Are you for it or against it? https://t.co/okc4BOslxI
Anti vaxxers are the absolute worst. Listen if you don’t want to take scientifically proven medicine that’s fine, but don’t push that onto your kids so they can become Patient Zero in the next Polio outbreak.
The common misconception among anti vaxxers is that vaccinations don’t necessarily protect you, they protect literally everyone else around you. If you get a vaccine, it prevents you from getting polio and all sorts of weird diseases. If you don’t get a vaccine then you’re likely to 1.) get the disease and then 2.) pass on a new mutated strand of the disease that literally nobody else is vaccinated against. You’re just creating mutant strands of diseases to more easily wipe out the rest of your kids school. Smart.
I’ll let Bill Nye explain it a little more succinctly below.
It would be funny if it wasn’t so terrifying. Literally just look at recent cases in Minnesota, and North Carolina, and California where parents decided vaccines weren’t for their family and what do ya know?
“What’s sad about this – tragic, really – is that we eliminated measles from the U.S. in the year 2000, thanks to the measles vaccine. As this CDC graph shows, we’ve had fewer than 100 cases every year since.
But we had 644 cases in 27 states in 2014, the most in 20 years.”
And before you say what’s wrong with starting a friendly debate? Reggie was just trying to start a civil conversation like we all do on Twitter! Except for the fact this isn’t a debate, it hasn’t been for a long, long time.
Like Mike Leach before him, Bush took a video and tried to host a conversation with his followers about the topic, even though hosting a neutral conversation is borderline impossible when you begin with a video espousing an extreme and demonstrably false premise.
Bush, who currently works as an analyst for NFL Network, spent the next few hours retweeting and replying to followers from both sides of an argument in which every reputable scientist and doctor stands together.
In one tweet in which Bush’s beliefs are hard to ascertain, he asks one user what was the last reported case of measles or smallpox. The answer is yesterday.
Now listen I love Reggie Bush, the guy was an absolute joy to watch at USC and then at New Orleans before slowing down and playing out his days in Miami/Detroit/SF/Buffalo. But the guy was ELECTRIC. Doesn’t mean I want to get medical advice from him though. Maybe the guy who’s been getting hit in the head for the better part of the past 15 years is not the person to be handing out advice that goes directly against what the CDC recommends. Come on Reggie, be better.
I’m not, not worried about the Patriots if we’re being honest. After last night’s double digit loss to the Detroit Lions, on my Meter of Confidence, I am currently residing at Concerned, one tick below Alarmed.
It’s only September. It’s only September. It’s only September. Thats what I keep telling myself. However, that was a piss poor effort against a winless team in the Lions. I do want to see this team at full strength with Julian Edelman and Flowers and Chung back before making any final assessments, but those decisions could be made for the Pats before they’re able to get back to full strength.
I’m sure everything will be fine with the Patriots’ offense once they get their 32-year-old receiver coming off a torn ACL and add in the guy who’s caught 19 total passes in the last four seasons combined.
Hurley’s right though, even when they do get all their guys back, thats not promising any season altering improvements.
A loss to the 3-0 Dolphins next week would put the Pats at 1-3 and 3 games out of first place as well as putting us Patriots fans in an uncommon position; looking up in the AFC East. I’m also trying to keep my expectations in check because it would be totally unfair to expect hope a guy who’s played 11 games in the last four years to be Tom Brady’s savior at receiver. Unfortunately that what this team needs right now. A game changer.
Or they need to get a whole hell of a lot more creative with the ball. James White, one of the Patriots most reliable veterans on a team suddenly searching for answers, only had 3 touches last night. THREE. One of which was a touchdown, ironically enough. Listen I love Sony Michel and I know the Patriots spent a 1st round pick on him, but having Michel outsnap the veteran while he continues to drop balls is not a recipe for success. It would seem like Tom Brady agrees too.
“Yeah, he had a great catch, and had some good runs there at the end. He’s just a great player for us. So, you’re right. He’s gotta be involved. Guys who can make plays are the ones that should be involved. And James is certainly one of them.”
Thats before we even get to the gigantic elephant in the room. There has been drama swirling around this team for the past year, which started with the Seth Wickersham article and culminated this week with the “Brady wants a divorce from Belichick” story and then on Sunday afternoon Adam Schefter reported that the Pats nearly traded Rob Gronkowski to the Lions only to have Gronk threaten to retire rather than accept a trade to Detroit.
Another Gronk point: It wasn’t that Rob Gronkowski didn’t want to play in Detroit; he didn’t want to play anywhere other than New England. Patriots had been discussing a trade with a few teams, and Gronkowski only wanted to play in New England, with Tom Brady, or nowhere at all.
All great news to come out hours before a game. Welp, Gronk finished the game with 4 receptions for 51 yards and 0 TDs after getting double teamed the whole game and then made the whole situation infinitely worse by confirming Schefty’s report post-game.
“Yeah, it happened,” Gronkowski said after New England’s loss to the Lions Sunday night. “Brady’s my quarterback. I’m not going anywhere without Brady.”
And then there’s Gronk’s brother coming to Rob’s defense before anyone pointed to his middling stat line.
So thats just great. Lets not even pretend to be a non-dysfunctional team anymore. Again, I’m not panicking quite yet, as you would want your star TE to want to continue playing for your team. Players threatening to retire doesn’t exactly inspire confidence and trust with the rest of the team, but hey at least he wants to play *here* Right?
I will never count out a Tom Brady led Patriots team until the ink is dry on his retirement papers. Hell I probably won’t doubt a Patriots comeback until I see Tom is his gold jacket.
But with that being said, if the Patriots drop another game next week against RYAN TANNEHILL and the Dolphins, then my meter will officially tick to Alarmed and we will be on Panic watch from there on out.
I may have been off by about five points in terms of point differential, but I pretty much nailed last week’s game prediction. The Jags simply look like the team to beat in the AFC right now, and I am not surprised at all that Brady & Co. took an L down in the Sunshine State in Week 2.
Fortunately, the Pats have a good chance at a bounce-back game in a prime-time matchup against old friend Matt Patricia and the 0-2 Detroit Lions this Sunday – which also just so happens to be the date on which ya boy Mattes graced the world with his presence 29 years ago, so it’s only right that they’ll be victorious on such an important day.
(Also, I know everyone is all excited about Josh Gordon. Settle down; we’ll get there.)
Before we get into the game preview, here’s a quick look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:
As you can see from the 51.5-point total, which is the fourth-highest total in the league this week, this game figures to be high-scoring. Both teams have a potent offense which overcompensates for a mediocre defense that is susceptible to giving up a lot of yards and points. Basically, if you got fantasy players on either side this week, feel free to go ahead and put pretty much all of them in your starting lineup.
So, who are some of the weapons that Detroit has? Well, they’re found mostly in the receiving corps, and their success all hinges upon the play of much-maligned quarterback Matthew Stafford.
After an abysmal Week 1 performance, during which he threw FOUR picks in a loss to the New York Jets, people were calling for Stafford’s head (including our very own Red, who has him as his fantasy signal-caller this year). However, I thought it was a bit much. For as much as he turned the ball over during his first few years in the league (four seasons with 15-plus interceptions), he has an 89:37 TD-to-INT ratio over the past four seasons, which includes 2018. He’s also one of only five players to ever throw for over 5,000 yards in a season, and I bet you didn’t know that he was the fastest quarterback ever to reach 20,000 yards, 25,000 yards, AND 30,000 yards on his career. The guy’s also coming off of a 347-yard, three-touchdown, zero-pick performance against San Francisco.
The point is: this dude can sling the rock, and the only reason he gets so much criticism is because he’s yet to win one playoff game in 11 NFL seasons. (I get it, Detroit; you’re hungry.) And with Detroit’s nasty group of receivers, coupled with the fact that the Pats have given up the fifth-most passing yards in the league through two games, Stafford could do some damage on Sunday.
Of the receivers, I expect Golden Tate to have the most success. The game’s most underappreciated slot receiver has 14 catches on a ridiculous 28 targets through two games so far as Stafford’s No. 1 guy. The Lions also have two big boys on the outside in Marvin Jones (6’2″, 198 pounds) and Kenny Golloday (6’4″, 214 pounds), both of whom use their size and unfair athleticism to gain big chunks of yards in a hurry, averaging 13.5 and 15.6 yards per catch, respectively. The Pats are definitely going to give up some real estate through the air this week – especially if either Trey Flowers and/or Patrick Chung, who both haven’t practiced this week due to being in concussion protocol, are ruled out.
Sure, I’m excited about Gordon. But MAN, I really wish those Golden Tate trade rumors weren’t just all talk. This dude can BALL.
Fortunately, they could have success containing Detroit’s very lackluster running game. Right now, the team is using a three-pronged “attack” of Kerryon Johnson, Theo Riddick, and former Patriot LeGarrette Blount.
Riddick has been one of the Lions’ key offensive pieces for the past five seasons as the team’s third-down/pass-catching specialist. While he is not built to be any team’s primary ball-carrier, he does have 234 (!) receptions since 2014, including 14 already this season. He’s going to be targeted and used a lot.
Johnson, a rookie, is by far the most talented back of the bunch from an overall standpoint, but for some reason he has been sharing the load with Blount between the tackles so far. Truthfully, Johnson – who also has eight receptions on the year and is by no means a one-trick pony – should have been given the starting role right out of the gate, and maybe this is the game he finally takes a stranglehold on the role for good. It’s only a matter of time until Blount fades away entirely. Either way, I don’t expect the Lions to kill the Pats on the ground.
Johnson will be a household name soon enough, giving the Lions their first good back since Barry Sanders – and Mattes’s fantasy squad a much-needed boost.
On defense, there’s not much to talk about besides the fact that the Lions are expected to be without stud corner Darius Slay, per Kyle Meinke of MLive, which must be music to Brady’s ears. After a brutal dogfight against the Jags vaunted secondary last week, things won’t be nearly as difficult for the offense on Sunday night. (Especially if Flash Gordon is ready to go!) (UPDATE: Slay did return to Lions practice in a non-contact jersey on Friday, but he is still unlikely to play [h/t Rotoworld].)
Storylines to Keep An Eye On
(What Will We See from Josh Gordon?): This is obviously the biggest storyline heading into the game. Pats Nation is absolutely giddy with excitement over this week’s acquisition of the uber-talented but oft-troubled 27-year-old receiver. He has the skills to make a Randy-Moss-level impact on the team’s offense, or he could easily succumb to past transgressions and fade out in a “Flash.” I’m remaining hopeful, but I’m also not expecting a huge impact from him in Game 1. As we’ve discussed before, the Patriots system has claimed the careers of many former standout pass-catchers in the past, and while Gordon has practiced the past two days, he’s going to need a little more time to get up to speed. He’s also dealing with a minor hamstring issue, so don’t expect him to be truly unleashed until at least next week. If Bill does decide to throw him right into the fire, though, I’d say 4-5 targets, max, isn’t an unreasonable expectation.
Apparently, Flash is going to be rocking No. 10 as a Patriot.
(So…Maybe Sony Michel is the Guy Now?): After missing basically all summer plus the season opener, Michel was immediately granted 11 touches (12 if you include his kick return) in his debut against the Jags last Sunday. He was even thrown to on two separate occasions. Meanwhile, Rex Burkhead rushed the ball six times and wasn’t targeted once in the passing game. (James White also got eight targets and seven receptions, but that’s always going to happen. He’s basically our Riddick.) Typical. Friggin. Belichick. Some believe it’s because Burkhead was dealing with concussion symptoms earlier in the week and the team was taking it easy with him; I believe, in typical Belichick fashion, he likes to choose which back will be the horse each week depending on the matchup. Until one of them, likely Michel, busts out and locks down the role as top dog, I’m done trying to project anything regarding the team’s group of backs. (My Burkhead for offensive MVP prediction could be in some serious doubt. But hey, at least the rookie finally got on the field!)
(Reunited and It Feels So Goooood): For the 21st time in his Patriots career, Belichick will face off against one of his former assistants, against whom he has a combined 14-6 record. This time it’s former defensive coordinator Matt Patricia, who’s currently suffering through a tough start to his NFL head-coaching career. There’s really not much to be said here, as it’s really only a fluffy storyline being used to try and create some more drama and intrigue. Still, it’s always fun to see if the grasshopper can successfully take down the master…even though he probably won’t.
Always remember the good times, boys.
Prediction
The Pats are able to come out and establish the run early on. Detroit’s defense has been absolutely GASHED so far on the ground, giving up 179.5 rushing yards per game, which is good for dead last in the league. (I know it’s only been two games, but the next-worst mark is Oakland with 154. The Lions run D is horrendous.) Brady is also able to move the ball pretty well through the air and puts up over 20 points before the half. Not to be outdone, Stafford also has his way with the Pats defense, but the Pats clock-killing offensive game plan doesn’t give him a ton of opportunities to keep up. In the end, the game will be close and high-scoring, but the Pats will ultimately tame the Lions, 38-28.
Sunday was an ugly day for the New England Patriots. I was feeling pretty confident heading in and since I was in the great state of New Jersey I even placed a legal wager on my boys to pull it out. Welp, midway through the first quarter I knew I wasn’t getting that money back ever again. What seemed like a steamrolling by the Jaguars was a game that actually pivoted on just a handful of plays and missed opportunities, which I have painstakingly compiled below. Andddd go!
-Gostkowski missed another bunny in a key moment. Yuck, this guy is basically Tuukka Rask to me these days. He’s not as bad as sports talk radio says, but he’s definitely not as great as the team would have you believe. I know it’s only a handful of kicks he’s missed over the years, but they all seem to stick out in my memory because they all came in key situations. Regardless of his FG percentage, I do not want this guy anywhere near a game tying or game winning kick anymore.
-Refs missed a holding call against Gronk (and a potential roughing the passer) and the Pats were forced to kick on 4th down on their first drive, which as we mentioned above Gostkowski shanked with an absolute duck of a kick.
Gostkowski sends it OB right as Patriots end first drive pointless. Either the Telvin Smith jersey tug or Ngakoue “weight drop” should have been drive-extenders.
-A Jacksonville receiver fumbled a ball that jumped like a magic fucking bean right into another Jacksonville receiver’s hands for the luckiest of recoveries.
-This defense looked like swiss cheese all day, which is alarming, but it would be out of character for any Patriots fan to completely overreact. We’ve seen these early season losses when the team is still trying to figure it out. Whether it was the offensive line or the right linebacker rotation, we’ve seen it before and this year is probably no different especially when it comes to the wide receivers. Hell the Pats are like the high school jock who got a little too high on himself and dumped a perfectly nice girl (Kenny Britt), only to try and get her back after he’s put on the freshman 15 at college.
-Eric Rowe got roasted all day long. One of the plays against him was impossible to stop:
But he then immediately got beat for a TD he should have been able to defend.
-The defense got burned on 3rd down all game long as Bortles scrambled and found an open man or ran for first downs himself. Hell he’s got the third highest Avg Yards per Rush for a QB in the history of the league, just a tick behind Michael Vick.
-The defense was bad yes, but lets remember that it took a career day from Blake Bortles (29 of 45 for 377 yards, 4 touchdowns, 1 interception). Literally the best game of his career to topple the Patriots, which kind of stung after I clowned Bortles all week long and lost a little coin in the process, but hey thems the breaks.
Thats the most concerning visual from the entire game. It kind of felt like Brady and McDaniels were starting to worry that this team might not be able to get them where they want to go. Hopefully it’s just the two of them blowing off some steam on the new guys making mental errors.
-Breathe and say it with me….Julian Edelman will be back in 3 weeks.
-I’m pretty sure Mattes and I have stumbled onto some black magic as the two guys we picked for team MVPs on The 300s Podcast, Rex Burkhead and Trey Flowers, have each gotten concussions in the first two weeks. Another guy Mattes picked as a DPOY was Deatrich Wise, who left the game late with what the announcers speculated as some jumbled finger digits. I’m not comfortable with this type of power.
-At one point midway through the second half the broadcast team pointed out that it had been a full 45 minutes since Tom Brady had thrown the ball. That cannot help gameflow and momentum.
-The non-call of the Jags jumping offsides on 4th down late in the game as the Pats tried to draw the penalty before punting. As the broadcast team, and TV shots of a fuming Belichick pointed out, the offensive lineman needs to touch the the defender if he jumps onside otherwise he can reset and the refs won’t call it. Romo even pointed out in the replay you can see the official reach for his flag before deciding against it. That one hurt.
-Before the season I predicted the Pats would split with the Jags and the Texans and be 3-1 after the first month. After Week 2, we’re exactly where I expected so unless they drop a game to the Lions and old friend Matt Patricia
or the Dolphins, who tried their very best to give away a W to the Jets on Sunday, then we’re fine.
-Don’t get it twisted, this defense is somewhere between hot garbage and a cold lunch, BUT its probably a little bit better than the defense that was one stop away from winning back to back Super Bowls last year. So it may not always be pretty, it will probably be infuriatingly bad at times, but at the end of the day it should be good enough to keep the team alive as long as TB12 is under center…..and not a second longer.
-After predicting the Pats would do their best to eviscerate Jalen Ramsey for trash talking Gronk (I may have said something about making his children orphans, but I forget) and they did nothing of the sort. The offense could not get into a rhythm and anytime they did, their momentum was killed by turnovers and missed kicks.
-Cordarrelle Patterson killed a drive when he tripped over the Ghost of Christmas Past on a key third down. After the Pats defense came up huge and forced a quick 3 and out, the offense came out onto the field and these next two tweets came over the span of 6 minutes.
A short series and a terrible punt. The #Patriots have to smell blood here. #Jags
Patterson caught a screen out of the backfield and looked like he had room to run, but his feet would not cooperate as he tripped over nothing and fell down to end the drive in its tracks.
Anddd 5 minutes after that Bortles threw a pick to try and let the Patriots back into the game. Anddd then 3 minutes after that Brady was strip sacked and that was the game.
So I just have to tip my cap to the Jaguars. It’s only Week 2 so I hope they aren’t riding too high….
“It kind of felt like we won a Super Bowl, man,” safety Tashaun Gipson said. “I won’t even kid you. It was that type of atmosphere and environment.
….because we’ve seen this story before (see: Chiefs 2014), but alas I tip my cap.
-Josh Gordon?? I say yes because of the pure ability coupled with the age; 27 whereas Dez Bryant will be 30 soon.
But obviously the guy has been dealing with issues for years. The last, and only, good season Gordon had came back in 2013. Back when Shane Victorino played for the Red Sox. Tom E. Curran makes a pretty compelling argument against the receiver as well:
He’s played in 11 of a possible 65 games since his absurd 2013 season (86 catches, 1,646 yards). He needs full-time supervision, it seems. Permissiveness, understanding and contorting for Gordon’s needs all offseason got the Browns . . . a game. One catch. A touchdown. And then they threw up their hands.
How’s that return on emotional investment and time spent? Not real good. It’s not inhumane to tell a troubled person he is unemployable, which Gordon has been and seemingly still is.
Besides, the Patriots were already down the road with one wide receiver project, Cordarelle Patterson. Then they added Corey Coleman this week.
If feels like they are at capacity when it comes to getting talented but hard-to-reach downfield receivers assimilated. This isn’t July when there’s nothing to do but conditioning, working on timing and getting on the same page. There are games every seven days now, game plans to install, fine-tune and execute.
The reality is, nobody’s got time for Josh Gordon right now.
Despite all that, the Patriots are at least doing their due diligence on Gordon according to Bert Breer.
So that may have been more than just a few pivot points, but I think its just an early season misstep for the Pats (one that I expected) as they build for the longterm and assess what their strengths and weaknesses are. Plus I feel much more confident going against the Jags in the playoffs going for the split, rather than trying to beat Sacksonville twice in one season.
Up next is old friend Matt Patricia and my worst fantasy draft pick in a decade; Matt Stafford.
Rumblings of some backdoor negotiations popped up over the weekend of two mystery teams inquiring with the Detroit Lions about Calvin Johnson, who as we all know is currently retired. Since Johnson retired while under contract with the Lions, Detroit still owns his rights so any team that wants to dust off Megatron would need to work out compensation with the Lions. Aside from Carson Palmer coming out of retirement and accepting a trade to Oakland, you don’t see a ton of moves like this. Usually the player is retired for a reason and he’s either 1.) washed up or 2.) doesn’t want to play anymore. But take one of the all-time great receivers of my generation and have him play on a dogshit Lions team for 8 years which included all of 2 playoff games. No wonder that guy said yea I’m done taking huge hits for regular season accolades.
But tempt that guy with the possibility of joining a playoff bound team like the Patriots (or the Eagles) then maybe he reconsiders. And Detroit is basically over a barrel because Johnson is already retired and could very easily stay retired, so it shouldn’t take more than a low draft pick, and of course the big money he’s owed ($16 Million this season).
Chris Mortensen is saying the Eagles and the Jaguars are the most likely landing spots, but I think we all know how many things Mort has fucked up in the past so I wouldn’t take this as gospel. But Schefty also threw some cold water on his own report this morning saying:
“The Lions told teams to reach out to the retired wide receiver to gauge his interest, but so far it has been noncommittal at best, diminishing any hope for a deal, sources said.”
But would there be anything more Belichick than coming out of the shadows and replacing an injured Edelman (and possibly Chris Hogan) with a future HOF player that no one ever saw coming? Put a physical specimen like that on the Patriots as the 2nd or 3rd option and it would just be unfair for opposing defenses. Either way, we’ll know the answer to this by end of day tomorrow since Tuesday is the trade deadline. Megatron watch is ON.
Another week, another one of the worst beats I’ve ever seen in a football game with the ending of that Kansas City game. Just ruthless. As always, all of our betting lines are courtesy of the Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook so blame them if the numbers change. Its that time once again to start playing fast and loose with our paychecks. Its Week 5 in the NFL, LETS GO
New England Patriots (-5.5, 55.5) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers I picked the Pats to cover and cover they did.
Sunday, Oct. 8 1 p.m. ET
New York Jets at Cleveland Browns (-1.5, 39)
There’s no way you’re going to actually put money on the Browns as a favorite are you? I sure as shit am not going to. I’ll take the Jets here.
Carolina Panthers at Detroit Lions (-3, 44)
Coming off their walkoff win over the Patriots, the Panthers have some momentum heading into Detroit. But the Lions are looking legit this year sitting at 3-1 in first place in the NFC North. It seems the Panthers are slowly figuring out the best way to use Christian McCaffrey with Jonathan Stewart together though so I’m taking the Panthers to cover here.
San Francisco 49ers at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5, 43.5)
Tennessee Titans (NL) at Miami Dolphins
No Line for this game, so nothing to see here.
Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals (-3, 38)
Call me crazy, I’m taking the Bills here. I like Tyrod Taylor to have a big game against the struggling Bengals.
Los Angeles Chargers at New York Giants (-3.5, 44.5)
A battle of two 0-4 teams. Woof. I’ve been picking the Chargers all year and they keep disappointing so its hard to rely on them here. Giants are in the same boat, but with a fully healthy Odell Beckham I think they finally get on the board here. I’ll take the G-Men to cover.
Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh Steelers (-8.5, 44)
Steelers are pretty big favorites at (-8.5) so thats asking a lot, but it is the Jaguars. I can definitely see Pittsburgh winning by 10. Fournette’s been solid in his first year rushing for 285 yards and 3 TDs, but Big Ben is rolling with Antonio Brown whos got 30 catches for 388 yards and a score. So I’m taking the Steelers to cover the big spread.
Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5, 45)
Eagles look like they’ve found their QB of the future with Carson Wentz and while I’m still bummed about Short Guy Hall of Famer Darren Sproles going down, Philly is still rolling along. Not a huge fan of old man Carson Palmer, especially with the non-existant run gam post David Johnson, so I’m taking the Eagles to cover.
4 p.m. ET Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (-2.5, 47) You gotta be shitting me? I know the Rams are off to a 3-1 start, but I refuse to take them as favorites over the Seahawks on a (-2.5) spread. Put some respeck on Seattle’s name. I’m taking Dangeruss and the Seahawks here.
Baltimore Ravens (NL) at Oakland Raiders
Seems to be a lot of No Lines this season, soo nothing to bet on here.
Green Bay Packers at Dallas Cowboys (-2, 52.5) Its hard to bet against the Packers, who are 3-1 on the season going against the 2-2 Cowboys. The Pack just continue to plug and play guys like Aaron Jones and not miss a beat, but I like Dallas here. Feed Zeke all night long and win by a FG, I’ll take the Boys.
Kansas City Chiefs (NL) at Houston Texans
Another game with No Line. Moving on.
Monday, Oct. 9 8:30 p.m. ET
Minnesota Vikings (NL) at Chicago Bears
No reason to watch MNF if theres No Line. Carry on.
The 300s 