Tag: NFL

SUPER BOWL WEEK DISTRACTION – Breaking Down Gronk’s Senior Basketball Profile

By on • ( Leave a comment )

 

Blogger’s Note: I meant to start these yesterday as we lead up to the game on Sunday. This is the most stressful week of (almost) every year and we could all use a distraction or 7. This one is Pats-related but  I promise the remaining three will be absolute nonsense and will take your mind off things….

To leverage one of the most prolifically used, intoxicating television quotes of all time, “He is a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet I can’t look away.”

That line, first used to describe not just a painting, but a perfect encapsulation of the essence of Cosmo Kramer, also applies seamlessly to this Portrait of a Young Gronk. From the head to the answers to the rest of the pose, this would give an alien who randomly landed on earth this very day an accurate representation of what the greatest TE of all time was and grew to be.

To start with the picture, I’d like to first point out that Gronk barely ages. If you look at this picture and then a picture of him now, his shaven head, which is a choice, is really the only difference. I’m sure people would point to other features of his face, but what I see is a kid still half asleep at probably 8:00am, dragged into a gym and told to put his uniform on for team pictures. The Gronk abides. Then we get to the hair. I have no doubt Gronk’s hair looked exactly like this all through high school. Papa G would agree this is known as the “Mark Hoppus circa 2004”. In Gronk’s case however, he isn’t a pop punk God who just tapped into his love for the Cure, he’s a 17 year old man-child pre-programmed to dominate varsity athletics and who doesn’t care what his hair looks like because it will either be smashed inside a helmet or matted with sweat at some point in the day any way. Probably multiple times.

Then there is the pose. HO MAN the pose. Can you imagine the energy that radiated through Robert James Gronkowski when he found out that he was invited to give everyone a sneak peek to the gun show on an otherwise unremarkable week day morning? He probably found some small dumb bells, or some resistance bands, or a freshman and got a few quick sets in to give himself some pump and tone. He through on that jersey and flexed, giving his best Blue Steel for the camera. Amazing.

Finally we have his answers. His “parents’ names” are, I suppose, not noteworthy if it wasn’t for the fact that they weren’t a bit out place. In 2019 that would be called a majjjjjor info sec breach. For “college choice” not only does Gronk peacock that he is leaving the dreary Northeast for the University of Arizona, but he is doing it on a full athletic scholarship. I can imagine he actually told the person asking him these questions (0% chance he wrote them out himself) something like “full boat for football” and the transcriber cleaned the answer up a bit. No harm no foul. Then comes the last question. The piece de resistance. Rob Gronkowski’s “hobbies”. I mentioned he was a pre-programmed sports machine and indeed he mentions sports as his #2 hobby.  That is, of course, only because #1 is working out, i.e preparing to dominate in said sports more efficiently. Then comes #3. The last but certainly not least. Chicks. Nothing in particular. Just chicks. Gronk like to talk about them. Gronk likes to talk to them. Gronk likes to do un-Christian things with them in back seats. It is and always will be his passion, his calling. If Belichick ever got him to take a vow of celibacy he’d probably go off for 120/1800/25 every year. He was close as it is.

So that is it folks. Your daily distraction in the form of breaking down a hoops profile of a young Gronk. Yo soy fiesta indeed.

-Joey B.

Did Deion Sanders Just Reveal Devin McCourty May Retire After the Super Bowl?

By on • ( 2 Comments )

What the HELL guys?? I don’t know if this was an open secret or not, but this is the first I’ve heard of Devin McCourty potentially thinking about retirement.

He’s only 31 so this came as a completely jaw dropping moment for me in my living room. This all came about 10 minutes after Julian Edelman broke Deion Sanders brain so I think he felt the need to redeem himself with a Woj bomb of sorts.

McCourty did suffer a concussion towards the end of this season though, the first that I can recall him ever having, so that may have changed things for him. Well shit. We’ll update you guys if we hear anything else.

Breaking Down the Super Bowl Odds and Prop Bets

By on • ( 1 Comment )

Image result for las vegas betting

Each week throughout the season, we’ve provided our 300s faithful with detailed game previews along with weekly lines. But truthfully, we haven’t spent much time breaking down spreads or betting odds perhaps as much as we should have.

But that’s all changing now, as there is no more fun time of year to wager a little dough than during the Super Bowl.

The reason why it’s so fun is because of all the prop bets (aka “proposition bets”). Basically, these are bets which allow you to make guesses on what can sometimes be the most obscure things – all the way down to what color Gatorade will be poured on the winning coach – for no reason other than pure degenerateness. (Yes, I’m making up that word.)

Before we get into those, though, here’s a quick overview of the important game info and lines that everyone usually cares about:

  • Location: Mercedes-Benz Stadium (Atlanta, GA)
  • Kickoff: Sunday, Feb. 3, 6:30 p.m. ET
  • TV: CBS
  • Spread*: Patriots -2.5 / Rams -2.5
  • Moneyline*: Patriots -115 / Rams +130
  • Total*: 56.5 (total)

(*All of the information is courtesy of Odds Shark and updated as of Thursday, January 31.)

First and foremost, if you can get the Pats at -2.5, TAKE IT. That half-point difference is huge, because that means they only need to win by a field goal. For what it’s worth, I like the Pats in this one, so I’d be all over them and that spread. (I know. I know. BIG SURPRISE, right??) As far as the total, I’m very torn; both teams are capable of playing great defense, but they also both have two of the best offenses in the league. Gun to my head, though, I’m taking the over. Who wants to root for a low-scoring, boring Super Bowl anyway?

All right, now let’s get into the fun stuff. Here’s a list of some (but certainly not all) of the best prop bets you can take a stab at for Super Bowl LIII, again courtesy of Odds Shark:

(Side note: Rather than bog you down with the money line for each and every bet, which you can check in the link above, I’m instead going to talk in broad strokes about each one along with which way I think you should go.)

Length of the National Anthem

This is usually one of the more popular ones each year. This year, it will be sung by the legendary Gladys Knight, and the over/under is set at 1:47. The all-time record for the longest rendition of the classic tune is held by Alicia Keys, after her epic 156.4-second performance in 2013. (That’s over two-and-a-half minutes.) On the flip side, Kelly Clarkson lasted just over a minute-and-a-half the year before. Keys was also using a piano during her performance, and perhaps that helped her drag it out a little. Knight – another soulful, powerful voice – might be able to use those pipes to belt out some long notes, but I bet she just barely finishes under the mark. The pick: under.

Image result for gladys knight performing

What you got in store for us, Gladys?

Coin Toss

This is literally a 50/50. And regardless of what others try to tell you, past history has absolutely ZILCH to do with it. I’m honestly just spitballing here. The pick: heads.

How Many Times Will Broadcast Mention Sean McVay’s Age?

For those who don’t know, Sean McVay is the Rams 32-year-old head coach, who is now in his second year running the team. It’s actually pretty insane to see how much success he’s had so far, as most guys aren’t even lucky enough to get their first coordinator gig after only just entering their third decade on Earth. The fact that he’s going against the 66-year-old Bill Belichick – who’s been coaching in the league for over a decade longer than McVay has even been alive – is something that the network will OBSESS over, ad nauseam. The over/under is set at 1.5, so they literally only need to say it more than once for the over to hit. This might be the easiest prop bet of the night. The pick: over.

Image result for sean mcvay

What Will Be the Predominant Color of Adam Levine’s Top at the Halftime Show?

Again, some of those prop bets are just absurd, but what the hell? I’ll bite. It’s also pretty much a 50/50 choice, as the options are “black” or “any other color.” A quick Google search shows that Maroon 5’s leading man LOVES wearing black shirts. But, this is the freakin’ Super Bowl. You gotta show out! Plus, he’ll probably want to prove all the haters wrong, as I’m sure they are fully expecting him to wear the same old thing. The pick: any other color. (BONUS BET: You can also bet on whether or not he’ll be wearing a hat. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the dude wearing one, so I’m going to go with “no.”)

Image result for adam levine performing

See, it’s happened before.

How Many Songs Will Be Played at the Halftime Show?

The over under is set at 7.5. I couldn’t really find any stats on the average amount of songs played per halftime show in the past, and every artist is different. At first, I thought 7.5 seemed like too many. HOWEVER, Maroon 5 will be joined by both Big Boi AND Travis Scott, who will both also want some shine on their stuff as well. I’m going to say it’s a bunch of short clippings from all three. The pick: over.

OK, now it’s time to step away from the silly stuff and talk about some bets that involve the actual action on the field.

Will a Non-QB Throw a Touchdown?

This is usually a very easy “no” in most NFL games. But this isn’t just “any” game, and these aren’t just “any” two offenses. McVay and Josh McDaniels are two of the best and brightest offensive minds in the game right now, and they’re going to throw everything they’ve got out there in this one. Still, I don’t think either will get quite that cute with it. The pick: no.

Will Any QB Throw for 400 or More Yards?

Jared Goff is not throwing for over 400 yards. He’s just not. Not against this defense. Not on any planet. I’m not saying Goff’s a slouch, and he’s actually surpassed the mark two different times this season. But he’s not doing it on February 3. Bank on it. But what about Brady? Well, he’s actually already done so twice in the Super Bowl; he had 466 yards against Atlanta in 2017, and he passed for over 500 (!) yards against the Eagles last year. The Rams have a really good defense, though, and they kept Drew Brees and the Saints’ high-powered attack at bay last week. The pick: no.

Image result for jared goff scared

The kid isn’t going gangbusters on us in this one.

Will Either Team Not Punt During the Game?

This is an interesting one. Again, these are two top-five offenses this year, and the Pats were money on that side of the ball last week in Kansas City. Los Angeles, however, wasn’t quite as spectacular, and they have a 24-year-old QB playing on the biggest stage in the world. And even as good as the Pats have looked lately, I don’t think either side will be flawless in this one. The pick: no. (Be careful here; the bet is asking if any team will “NOT” punt during the game. Semantics, people!)

Will Both Teams Combine to Score 76 or More Points, Breaking the Super Bowl Record?

I did say earlier that I like the over in this one, but 76 is a bit much. Both teams would need to score into the 30s, or at least one would need to score well into the 40s to hit the mark. As good as these offenses are, the defense on both sides is no joke. The pick: no.

Will There Be a Penalty for Roughing the Passer?

With everyone outside of New England being up in arms about the ticky-tack roughing the passer called against the Chiefs at the end of the game last week, OF COURSE this would be a prop bet. The fact that Rams defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh is playing in this game ups the chances of this happening by at least 50 percent, but in truth no quarterback is averaging more than 0.36 RTP calls per game against them this season. It really does not happen as much as people think. The pick: no.

Image result for ndamukong suh

Perhaps no player in the game has taken more cheap shots on opposing passers than this A-hole. But, with so much on the line, maybe he’ll actually behave himself in this one.

Then there are a bunch of scoring-related prop bets which can technically be based upon research, but they’re really more of a crapshoot than anything else. But, just for kicks, here’s a quick rundown of my picks for some of those bets:

  • First TD scorer for the Pats: Sony Michel
  • First TD scorer for the Rams: Brandin Cooks
  • Total TDs combined: Over 6.5
  • Total successful field goals: Under 4.5
  • Team to score longest TD (in terms of yards): Rams
  • Will a special teams or defensive TD be scored: No

And finally…

SUPER BOWL MVP

As much as I’d love James White to win it after getting ROBBED of the award against the Falcons two years ago, or for Rex Burkhead to win it and give me some shred of vindication for predicting him to be the team’s offensive MVP this season, I’m instead going with none other than Tom Brady. (I know. BOORRINNGG.) The man is the whole reason we’re even here, and with the Patriots relying on so many different pieces to keep the offense moving, it almost makes too much sense. Brady goes for 380 yards and four TDs, helping him become the ONLY man to win six rings. (Wooo! I just got the chills.) The pick: Tom Brady.

Image result for tom brady rings

This ain’t his first rodeo, guys.

And that still doesn’t cover everything, but hopefully it’s a nice little primer for you as you get set to make your picks for next weekend.

Be sure to stay tuned to the 300s all the way up until kickoff next Sunday for all the best Pats coverage you can find!

Patriots Absolutely DESTROY Rob Parker with One Amazing Tweet

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Image result for rob parker

For much of the Brady/Belichick era, the Patriots have usually made a point of taking the high road, often choosing to disregard the “noise” and refusing to engage with those who take shots at them and their unparalleled success.

In fact, Belichick once even benched Wes Welker – who was coming off a 122-catch, 1,500-plus-yard season – for the first half of a playoff game against the Jets in 2011 for his little press conference comedy show a few days before. (Ya know, the one where he “subtly” pokes fun at Rex Ryan’s foot fetish. It was actually pretty hilarious. Here’s the link in case you need a refresher.)

But not this time. On Tuesday, the team itself tweeted out a video which eviscerates long-time Patriots hater and absolute joke of a “journalist,” Rob Parker.

For those of you who are unaware of who Parker is, here’s a quick rundown: He’s a former ESPN analyst – who was fired by the worldwide leader back in 2013 for, you guessed it, opening his big, ignorant pie hole. Now working for FS1, he will literally take any opening possible to dump all over Tom Brady and the Pats. He even goes so far as to call Brady the “L.O.A.T.” (“Luckiest of All Time”) – meaning he believes Brady’s entire career can be attributed to pure luck, and nothing more. Yup, the guy is unbearable to listen to, even on topics not involving the Pats. How he even got a job in the industry in the first place is truly mind-boggling.

Anyway, the tweet was posted in response to some pre-AFC-Championship comments Parker made on FS1’s “The Herd” last week:

Just fucking perfection – even all the way down to the wordplay on “reign” in the caption. Bravo, social media team. BRA-VO.

Stuff like this gets me even more amped up than I already am for next Sunday, and I’m sure it fires up the boys in the locker room, too.

So hopefully you really do take off to Mexico, Rob. Hell, I’ll even buy the plane ticket for ya. I doubt anyone will miss you and your “hot takes” anyway.

A Quick Word On Rex Burkhead

By on • ( Leave a comment )

So I know there has been enough Pats-related #content here over the last few days, weeks, and months to last a lifetime, but this has been kind of sticking on my mind. It’s one of those things where I figure that if it has stayed with me this long, maybe it is worth putting out there. Whatever the case I won’t be bashing Oprah or telling the story of the time a kid I loosely knew robbed a 7-11 so I’m guessing Red will publish it and maybe you’ll read it.

Rex Burkhead does not get a lot of ink. It’s fairly understandable why. For the most part, he is a “sum of the parts greater than the whole” type back that can spell Michel when he needs a breather during one of his packages and can do the same for James White in an identical capacity. He has also been hurt a bunch so his name just hasn’t come up a lot. With all of that said, he can do a lot of things and Brady seems to be able to trust him, which one could argue is more important to TB12 than skill, athleticism, etc., so he has become a fairly important part of our offense.

Then came the AFC Championship and the worst fucking 4th down run of all time and I was ready to let Rex Burkhead to be the scapegoat, to let he and he alone hold the L, as the kids say. I mean, sure it was a bad call altogether. One of those 1-2 a game that McDaniels has been guilty of all season, a puzzling abnormality that he seems to of picked up this year. Burkhead didn’t help though. Kevin Sorensen, who the Patriots made look like a cross between Ed Reed and Sean Taylor all fucking game even though he barely belongs on an NFL roster, was shooting the gap Burkhead was supposed to run in. He could have cut back and at least tried to churn behind his O-line and see what he could get. His vision failed him though (I’m not RB savvy enough to tell you if vision is always a problem for Burkhead) and Patrick Willis Sorensen form tackled him for a loss. It stunk to high heavens.

What did Rex Burkhead do? He shook it off. He basically acted like it never happened. He went on to make more than a couple of key plays, including the game-winning touchdown run, to force us to completely forget about that garbage run. He put his head down and “did his job” as the Patriots always require and it paid dividends. To be honest I think even without the win, we would have forgiven him after the way he closed the game out.

So hats off to Rex Burkhead, our favorite ‘Husker. We’ll need him two Sundays from now more than ever. Just cut back next time, ok?

NFL First Round Pick Rashan Gary Cuts Out the Middleman and Starts His Own Agency

By on • ( Leave a comment )

ESPN – Rashan Gary is living his dream as the founder and CEO of his own sports agency. The defensive end, projected to be one of the top picks in the NFL draft, has fulfilled a vision he had as a high school star in New Jersey and developed in his mind the past three years at Michigan.

“I always had a dream of playing in the NFL and leaving a legacy,” Gary said in an interview with The Associated Press. “The older I got, I understood that football is not forever. This is a step to take care of my family in the long run. Starting this agency is a way I can definitely do that in my years on the football field and the years when I’m not on the football field.”

Gary has already recruited one NFL prospect to Rashan Gary Sports. He hopes to land more players from Major League Baseball, the NBA and the NHL by promoting the agency as a way athletes can make the most out of their earning potential.

“It’s going to change the game,” Gary told the AP. “Now players know the power they have, and taking this step is big for me, my family and my dream.”

Love the hustle from Rashan Gary here. Without having any insights as to how this business will be set up, this is smart as all hell by Gary. This is not some guy just deciding he wants to represent himself because he doesn’t see the value in paying an agent and would rather just mortgage his future earnings on his own understanding of NFL contracts. This is a guy setting up a legitimate business because he knows the average NFL athlete plays for less than 5 years so he wants to build something for the long term. As a first round pick in the NFL Rashan Gary has an incredible amount of leverage, which unless he goes on to become an All-Pro type of player, that is leverage that will dissipate slowly over the next few years. Take advantage of the leverage you have now and build something that will last a lot longer than 5 years.

This idea won’t be without its detractors though, particularly the old guard of established NFL executives like Gil Brandt.

“The first contract in the NFL is relatively simple with the pay pretty much predetermined whether you’re drafted 13th or 107th. I’m guessing some street-smart guy told him about this idea to set up his own agency to keep more of his money.”

That sounds like a guy who is afraid of going extinct if players start doing things in a new and different way than what he’s used to.

“Rashan Gary Sports is set up for players to take ownership of their intellectual property,” Clarke said. “Our model, which we’d rather keep quiet for now, helps players with their finances on the front end.”

Smart man. Sounds like a player they would love up in New England if we’re being honest.

The Patriots Are Going to Their Ninth Super Bowl With Tom Brady After Instant Classic AFC Championship

By on • ( 1 Comment )

Over an hour after the game I still have a heart rate somewhere near 200 beats per minute because that was the most stressful 4 hours of my life since February 2015 during the Patriots Seahawks Superbowl. My goodness. If I was wearing a Life Alert necklace there would be an ambulance on the way to my house right now because my heart rate is straight up unhealthy. As I said earlier tonight, this is no way to live….but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Rob Gronkowski: Vintage like Merlot

He may not be putting up 9 for 160 and 3 TDs anymore, but this guy is still Tom Brady’s “gotta have it” guy. He is still a 6’6″ mammoth of a man with baby soft hands that can beat anyone one on one. As I mentioned on The 300s Podcast last week, the Patriots would need a vintage game from Gronk and thats exactly what we got with some key catches.

Julian Edelman is Logan

The man must have adamantium in his bones, there is no other explanation for how he can continuously take these massive hits. The guy just throws his back into 250 pound linebackers and gets up faster than I get out of bed after sleeping on my neck wrong. Incredible.

The Muffed Punt

If the Patriots go on to win the Super Bowl, the muffed punt that wasn’t will go down as one of the most insane moments in Patriots playoff history.

The Muffed Punt t-shirts are now on sale!

A play that likely would have sunk their season was overturned thanks to instant replay, despite the fact that the footage the referees were reviewing looked like found footage from an iPhone 4.

The Future

To the Chiefs I tip my cap, that was an absolutely incredible game. The future is yours, but like an older brother with the N64 clicker in hand; it’s still our turn.

AFC Championship Halftime Report

By on • ( Leave a comment )

Up 14-0 and 30 mins away from their third straight Super Bowl appearance, the Patriots have come out on fire. Aside from being up by 4 touchdowns, I don’t think the Patriots could have come out to start this game any better. Just as they did against the Chargers last week, the Pats got the ball first and set the tone from the get go with a long touchdown drive. As we had discussed on The 300s Podcast the other day, we expected a big day from Sony Michel as the Pats have morphed into more of a running team than they’ve ever been before. Thats not to say there haven’t been some issues though because the Pats have dodged a couple of bullets.

Tom Brady throwing into quadruple coverage like an asshole.

Eric Berry barely dropped another pick that would have been an incredible play, but again Brady and the Pats dodged a bullet.

Trey Flowers CAME. TO. PLAY. – Flower has been a monster all game pressuring Patrick Mahomes all day into some bad looks. The one standout play came when Mahomes gave back 3 points by taking an absolutely ugly sack on 3rd down to take the Chiefs out of FG position (again due to Flowers’ monster half).

The defensive front 7 as a whole has been incredible to start this game. Kyle Van Noy may be a bit of a liability in coverage, but he chased down Patrick Mahomes for a strip sack to end the half, nearly snagging another 3 spot for New England.

James White has made some *incredible* catches today (6 first downs on his first 6 touches) just a week after hauling in 15 balls against LA.

The Patriots, despite all the running back-ists on sports talk radio, are establishing the shit out of the run, which is exactly what I said they would need to do in order to win this game. You’re playing one of the most explosive offenses in the league that relies on big plays from their athletic freaks so hold the ball, eat up some clock, let those KC players sit on the sideline and freeze.

PHILLIP DORSETT WITH A HUGE TOUCHDOWN. For a guy that catches just about everything thrown to him, we asked on the podcast why not throw to him more then? Well, TB12 found Dorsett for a absolutely money 29 yard touchdown in the last 30 seconds of the half.

The Chiefs just got shutout in the first half at home for the first time under Andy Reid. The Patriots look excellent as these boys can smell the Super Bowl. It is now officially Neck. Stepping. Time.