So Big Z is the only one to submit a blurb today, which I’m guessing means everyone else is dead. And by dead I mean their season is over. RIP in Peace. Idk how Red expects us to get a successful #sports blog going when no one can even fuckin play fantasy football. O well.
Editor’s note: I have submitted my piece for the fantasy blog, dripping with contempt.
P.S – Google “Artie Lange’s nose. My God how is this poor guy still alive?
Joey B
I’m still setting line ups, etc. as I can still get a $20 high score of the week. Instead I got beat by 30 thanks again to Gronk and a still useless Matthew Stafford. (Idk how he actually played, but like Red, Stafford has fucked me all season).
Big Z
We’re on to the Third Place Game. For the second straight year.
I lost 74-66 in an ugly semifinal matchup. Not much to say, other than Tevin Coleman scored 24 points on my bench.
If I finish in fourth place, and out of the money, for a second straight year I’m going full tilt Week 17 and dumping a thousand bucks into Draft Kings.
Red
I got smoked this week entirely on the back of third string running backs. Never seen anything like it. My opponent had the Chiefs’ third stringer Damien Williams (naturally I had Spencer Ware) and the Steelers’ backup to the backup runningback Jaylen Samuels. As expected those two had 50+ points between the two of them. My fantasy season is sheets.
#Patriots held a 33-28 lead despite missing a FG and an extra point and the #Dolphins pulled the most ridiculous play to win the game with 7 seconds left.pic.twitter.com/KOKbmqkpdf
Only in Miami does that happen. Only in Miami are the Patriots just utterly incapable of beating the Dolphins regardless of how good or bad they are each year. I don’t know what the hell it is, but Tom Brady and the Pats just melt (get it?!) in Miami every season.
What’s worse is that the Chiefs just won in OT so this seals the Patriots fate. There’s no realistic shot at the No. 1 seed anymore. Thank god the Texans lost to the Colts today or we’re looking at the No. 3 seed and the Patriots are playing Wild Card weekend. So with three games remaining against the Steelers, Bills, and Jets the Patriots have to win out. Either way they will most likely have to go through Kansas City at Arrowhead Stadium in the playoffs, which is daunting enough as it is, but the Pats absolutely cannot fall to the No. 3-4 seed and be forced into playing on Wild Card weekend.
Rob Gronkowski subbed in for Devin McCourty on that last play. Not an injury situation. That was the package.
And for all the NFL head coaches on Twitter second guessing putting Gronk in there at the end can chill the fuck out. It’s way more likely that the Dolphins uncork a hail mary there than Kenyan Drake getting inside the 10 forcing Gronk to attempt a tackle in the open field.
So through a friend of The 300s I somehow stumbled into field passes for the Patriots game yesterday and finally got to touch the sacred turf at Gillette. The same turf that Tom Brady has given me countless memories on over the years so it was a borderline religious experience.
You see all those 300s hats? That’s called branding guys. Marketing 101.
It was a beautiful monsoon-like day for a football game so naturally I had to stop at Marshalls on the way to Foxboro to pick up some waterproof pants like I was going gator hunting.
In a weird stat, Kirk Cousins threw for more yards warming up than he did in the actual game.
I thought jersey duos like this only existed on the internet, but alas I saw this couple up in the nosebleeds and it was glorious.
Check out the full breakdown below as we pretended to be part of the elite down at field level before going up into the 300s with the rest of our degenerate brethren.
The thing about New York sports fans is that they REALLY show up for their own. They think their players, coaches, and, for whatever reason, sports media personalities are Gods amongst men. Like there is a CONVENTION for Mike Francesa fans. To repeat, a sports radio show host has his own convention. It is kind of bizarre and really not relatable for those of us outside of the tri-state area.
Which is why it really says something that even New Yorkers hate Manish Mehta. He is a troll through and through that is not as much of a troll sports writer as he is a troll writer who decided to apply his trolliness to sports. Gross.
And he recently came for Gronk. Said he was washed and done and sad and depressed. Well, unfortunately for M-Squared Gronk came back Sunday and the Pats beat the Jets. There was a Gronk-spike and all.
Gronks have 87 lives, motherfucker.
Red
This is it. It took 12 weeks, but I am breaking up with Matt Stafford. After burying any chance I had before the turkey was even on the table with 7 points on Thursday, I am breaking it off. This is likely the last shot I had at the playoffs as even an average performance from Stafford gives me the win. I may just start an empty QB slot moving forward in a silent protest.
Joey B
I’m officially out of it so this shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter that I lost a BARN BURNER with a final score of 60-51 (nope, no one forgot to set their line-ups). But I forgot to put in Gronk. Those points would have given me the win. Forgive me big man.
Papa G
It’s curtains for my fantasy teams. Shout out to Fournette getting suspended too. Appreciate the self-control. We’ve officially moved into “who should I pick for my keepers” mode. TRASH.
Mattes
I’d like to start off this week by apologizing to one Amari Cooper. Since becoming a Cowboy, the man has averaged 17 points a game, which included a bananas 38-point showing on Turkey Day. That performance helped me beat Papa Giorgio this week, finally giving my suddenly resurgent team more than one measly win on the year and potentially playing spoiler for my fellow blogger’s season. I have changed my team name to “Amari’s Resurrection” in his honor. Maybe Oakland really does just suck THAT bad.
A couple “coulda, woulda, shouldas” sank my other team this week. I went for the upside with Lamar Jackson as my QB2 behind Rivers, but the extra 10 from Cousins, who was on my bench, would’ve given me the win. Or maybe playing Aaron Jones over Mark Ingram this week would’ve done it, too. I now need to win this week and have two other teams lose to get into the postseason. I’m literally hanging on by the short and curlies right now.
Big Z
With another big win in Week 12, the Z-Men have won 5 of their last 6. Fantasy football isn’t that hard when you get steady quarterback play, contributions from a few wide receivers, and 43 points out of Christian McCaffrey.
A win in Week 13 will lock up a first round bye and a guaranteed crack at some prize money. LET’S GO!
-Joey B
Blogger | Crier | British Television Obsessive| Whiskey Dickist
So mayyyyybe I was a bit too quick to say the Pats locking up a top-two seed in the AFC was a “foregone conclusion” during my last game preview. While the division is still all but ours, that abomination against the Titans last week proved that the Pats maybe aren’t quite as formidable as we thought. Also, the AFC is a lot better this year than in years past; besides Kansas City (9-2), teams like the Chargers (7-3), Steelers (7-2-1), and Texans (7-3) could all challenge for a top seed as well.
Hopefully, Bill was able to rally the troops during the bye and use the extra time off to prepare for what lies ahead in 2018. There may also be no better time than now to assess what we’ve seen from the boys so far and try to highlight what to watch for over the team’s final six contests.
So, rather than do the typical 300s Patriots weekly preview, I’ll instead give you a super short Pats/Jets primer followed by a more in-depth look at some of the top storylines to follow for the last quarter-and-some-change of the 2018 season.
As always, here’s a look at where, when, and how to watch this week’s game along with the latest lines:
I’d like to say this is as close to guaranteed win for the Pats as possible, but this team has severely underperformed at times this year, particularly on the road. Still, coming off a bye which was preceded by one of the team’s most pathetic losses in recent memory, I feel like Brady & Co. will come out guns blazing against a pretty lackluster Jets squad.
After starting out the year 3-3 – which included wins over the Lions, Broncos, and Colts – the Jets have now lost four straight. Their 18th-ranked defense only slightly makes up for their 29th-ranked offense, which, to be fair, has been decimated by injuries this season. For instance, rookie quarterback Sam Darnold is still questionable with a foot injury, which forced him to miss the team’s game against Buffalo before their Week 11 bye. Even if he plays, though, will we get the young hotshot who completed 60 percent of his passes and had a 9-to-7 TD-to-INT ratio through the first six games, or will he be more like the 47-percent blind newborn with the 2-to-7 TD-to-INT ratio over the past three? And if he doesn’t play at all? Then we get to face a 39-year-old Josh McCown, who posted an abysmal 35.8 passer rating against the Bills two weeks ago in his only action of the year.
It’s been an up-and-down year for the rookie, but Darnold definitely has some talent and could finally make the Jets respectable again in due time.
The point is, the Jets have been a bit of an enigma this year – at times pretty good but mostly mediocre to downright awful – and while each side of the ball is sprinkled with bits of talent, there’s no particular player or strength they possess that scares me. Sony Michel should have a nice bounce-back effort against their 21st-ranked run D, and Brady can have fun going against their middle-of-the-pack passing defense. Road divisional games are always a bit of a grind, so it’ll be a lot closer than people think, but I think the Pats pull this one out 24-17.
I’m expecting a nice “remember me?” effort from Sony this week in Jersey.
But what about the bigger picture? What have we learned so far from this 7-3 Patriots squad, and what can we expect for the rest of 2018?
Well, after this week’s trip the Meadowlands, the Pats have what should be a pretty favorable schedule the rest of the way. There will be just two road games left, one in Miami and the other being quite possibly the biggest game of the year in Pittsburgh in mid-December. Otherwise, there’s a tough home game against the Vikings to get through, but then the season ends with home bouts with the Bills and Jets. At least the Pats won’t have to go through the ringer to end the season.
But as we all know, anything can happen and there are many different factors that will determine how the Pats will look come January. For now, here’s a rundown of what to keep your eye on the rest of the way:
Tom vs. Time
No, I’m not talking about Brady’s little Facebook series; I’m talking about the real-life, long-term grind that we may finally be starting to see have an effect on our 41-year-old hero. Let me just start by saying that until I see the man fall off a cliff entirely, I will never doubt him. I AM NOT BOLDLY PREDICTING BRADY’S DEMISE HERE. I’m simply saying that he looked OLD against the Titans last Sunday – like Larry King old – even outside of that debacle of a Philly Special they tried to have him run. (On that play, he literally looked like the all-too-ambitious great uncle who tries to go out for a pass against the youngsters in the family Thanksgiving game, only to trip all over himself, fall, and break a hip off the side of the deck. Yeah, it truly looked that bad.) He’s also completed less than 60 percent of his passes over the past three games with just one touchdown. Brady could also come out and go gangbusters for the rest of the year and prove, once again, why he’s the G.O.A.T… but Father Time has to come out on top eventually, right?
Gronk vs. His Body
Gronk, love ya, bud. Mean it. But I think it’s time to hang up the cleats before you’re forced to spend the rest of your life in a freakin’ Hoveround. This man is just four months older than I am and has already had more back surgeries and lingering body ailments than a retired steel worker. This year, he’s already missed three games, which are the 11th, 12th, and 13th regular-season games he’s missed due to injury over the past three years alone. Since playing in all 16 games as a rookie and second-year player, Gronk has been healthy for an average of only 11.6 games per season otherwise. And even when he’s been on the field this year, he hasn’t been anything special; besides a seven-catch, 123-yard performance in Week 1, Gronk is averaging about four catches and 50 yards a game. He could be back this week against the Jets, but who knows how long that will last? Truthfully, we could see the end of Gronk before we see the end of Brady.
Burkhead is Back!
Sexy Rexy is back on the field, folks! On November 8, Burkhead returned to practice and is eligible to play once again as early as next week (December 2) at home against Minnesota. While I do not expect him to provide me with full vindication after naming him as my prediction for the team’s offensive MVP this season, he will still be a much-welcomed addition to an extremely thin stable of backs. This is still Sony Michel’s and James White’s backfield for the most part, but don’t be surprised if Burkhead has a few big games himself toward the end of the year. Welcome back, No. 34!
Will Gordon Finish Strong?
Since Week 4, when Josh Gordon made his Pats debut against Miami, he has hauled in a total of 26 receptions for 477 yards and two scores. Over the past five games alone, he’s averaged over four catches and 79 yards on about 10 targets per game. That’s a pretty solid return on a fifth-round pick; I don’t care who it’s in regard to. But with Josh Gordon comes “those other risks,” the off-field shenanigans that have bogged him down his entire career. So far, he’s handled himself very well in New England, but when the heat is on and he starts facing the pressure that comes with being a part of a winning team for once, will he stay the course? I’ve seen nothing that gives me any indication he won’t, but keep those fingers crossed, Pats Nation; we still have a long way to go with Flash Gordon.
A Young and Improving Secondary
I know these storylines have been pretty offense-heavy so far, but there’s really not a whole lot to sift through on the defensive side of the ball. I will say that I’ll be keeping my eye on the secondary, though; while Stephon Gilmore and Jason McCourty have the top-two corner spots on lock, there’s an interesting mix of young talent behind them battling for position, especially with second-rounder Duke Dawson coming off I.R. a few weeks ago and looking ready to make his debut. Other rookies like Keion Crossen and J.C. Jackson, the latter of whom has already made some big plays this year, bear watching as well. Recently signed former Raiders safety Obi Melifonwu is a raw, talented and still very young piece the team is taking a flyer on, too.
Again, a lot can still happen before January, so be sure to keep checking in with The 300s for all your Patriots news and notes on the march to Ring No. 6.
So this might be one of the easiest previews I’m going to write this season, as I expect this one to be an absolute rout. With all due to respect to Papa Giorgio – our resident Bills/Islanders/Mets fan and apparent masochist – this is going to be child’s play for the Patriots and there’s really not a whole lot to talk about. Let’s hop right to it.
As always, here’s a quick look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:
The lines for this game really tell the whole story: the Pats are two-touchdown favorites on the road; they’re expected to be responsible for over 60 percent of the game total; and there’s a FOUR-FIGURE moneyline. (For those who don’t know what that last part means, basically it means you would need to bet over $1,000 just to win $100 by picking the Pats to win on Monday night.)
I’m not going to sugarcoat it: the Bills (2-5) are pretty bad. For a team that made the playoffs just last season, it’s actually pretty incredible to see how far they’ve tumbled in such short order.
To be fair, they have at least played pretty well on the defensive side of the ball, currently sitting at No. 11 overall and No. 16 in points per game allowed. They’re also tied for eighth in the league with 19 sacks, led by defensive end Jerry Hughes (4.5 sacks) and the ageless wonder in the middle of the defensive line, Kyle Williams (3.5 sacks).
Second-year cornerback Tre’Davious White is also a criminally underrated player, as he is truly one of the game’s elite. (You might remember him as the guy who Gronk cheap-shotted – resulting in a one-game suspension – the last time these two teams played in Buffalo on December 3 of last season.) In fact, he was so good as a rookie last season that Pro Football Focus not only anointed him their Defensive Rookie of the Year, but they also went so far as to rank him as the No. 2 overall corner in the entire league. The Bills absolutely stole him with the 27th-overall pick in the 2017 draft, and he could be a problem for Josh Gordon this week.
White is one of the game’s premiere young defenders.
On offense, it’s just a sad state of affairs. To start, Derek Anderson will be the Bill’s starting quarterback this week. He may truly be the only quarterback in the NFL right now who is a worse option than Nathan Peterman – the Bill’s only other healthy signal-caller, with a career 3-to-9 TD-to-INT ratio – but he’s still going to be the guy leading the way for Buffalo on Monday night.
There once was a time where it looked like Anderson might be something. Back in 2007, as a fresh-faced sophomore, he led the Cleveland Browns to a 10-5 record, which was by far the closest they have been to making the postseason since 2002. He also compiled over 3,700 passing yards and 29 touchdowns that season. You can’t ever take that away from him.
Derek Anderson – back in the glory days.
After that one season, however, he fell completely off a cliff. Though he ended up making 26 more starts over the next three years – two with Cleveland and the third with Arizona – he has spent the last seven seasons holding a clipboard as the backup for Cam Newton in Carolina. In just his fifth start since 2011 last Sunday, he threw three picks and could not even crack 200 yards. Simply put: there’s no need to worry about the Bill’s passing game this week.
The Bills do have a decent pair of guys in the backfield, led by LeSean McCoy. For all the flak McCoy gets for his injury woes, you might be surprised to hear that he has actually started at least 15 games in three of the last four seasons heading into 2018. The only problem is, minor ailments and game script have kept him from making much noise outside of two games this year; besides two solid 19-plus-touch, 90-plus-yard performances in Weeks 5 and 6, Shady has averaged just 7.8 touches and 31.8 yards across his other four games. The man is coming off of two straight 1,500-yard seasons before this, though, so he can definitely do some damage if he does play. Chris Ivory is a solid backup as well, and, per ESPN’s Mike Rodak, he’s expected to play after dealing with a hammy issue earlier in the week.
(MONDAY AFTERNOON UPDATE:According to Schefty, Shady has cleared concussion protocol and will play tonight.)
I’m not sleeping on you, Shady. I know what you’re capable of.
Storylines
(Gronk’s Time to Shine): Per usual, Buffalo native Rob Gronkowski will be looking to feast in his old stomping grounds. He just seems to hit another level every time he’s in Buffalo. Per Rich Hribar of Rotoworld, in seven career games in Upstate New York, Gronk has averaged 9.6 targets, 6.3 catches, 104.3 yards, and one touchdown per contest. After not having Gronk for the Bears game last week, the big tight end returned to practice Thursday afternoon and all signs point toward him being ready to go on Monday night. Especially considering how last year’s game ended up there, Gronk will be chomping at the bit to get out on the field and dominate, feeding off of what is sure to be a rowdy Bills Mafia crowd that should be on his case all game long.
Get ready to watch Gronk feast on Monday night.
(Gordon to Slow His Roll): As mentioned above, Josh Gordon is very likely to see a lot of coverage from Tre’Davious White this week, limiting his upside and potential impact on Monday night. Since he will be taking up most of White’s attention, however, that should open things up for the rest of the offense – including for former Bill, Chris Hogan, who posted six catches last week against the Bears and has over 60 yards in each of the Pats’ past two games. I’m not saying Gordon is going to be invisible in this one, but do expect his red-hot play to finally cool down a bit this week.
(What You Got, Kenjon?): With Sony Michel very unlikely to play in this week’s contest, former Panthers and Eagles (and Oregon Ducks!) running back Kenjon Barner will serve as the between-the-tackles compliment to James White in Week 8. White will still dominate most of the backfield touches, but Barner will be called upon to tote the rock quite a bit, especially if the Pats go up big, as expected. Last week, he carried the ball 10 times for 36 yards after Michel went down and has averaged over four yards a carry for his career. Thankfully, Michel should be coming back at some point over the next couple of weeks, and hopefully Barner can get it done in the meantime.
Prediction
This will be an absolute massacre. The Pats will be up by at least two scores at the half, if not more, and Derek Anderson will demonstrate even further that it’s probably time to hang ’em up for good. The Pats win this one in an absolute blowout, 37-12.
O hey there. So we are officially a quarter of the way through the 2018-2019 football season and with that, we are really beginning to see what our fantasy football teams are made of. We are also beginning to see what the waver wire is made of as more and more players go down, forcing owners to try and convince themselves that Senorise Perry is about to have a breakout week. But as we prepare for the return of Julian Edelman, let’s check in with the your favorite amateur typists to see how their fantasy squads did this week.
Joey B
I got fucking washed. Other than the Stafford-Tate connection no one showed up, least of all a certain #87. I even experienced the rare goose egg courtesy of Sammy Watkins last night. Definitely looking forward to rebounding next week when I get Devin Funchess back and slot Cameron Brate (O.J Howard is hurt) in for Gronk.
Red
Finally got a W on the books and it literally took until the final drive of the Monday night game. Demaryius Thomas was really earning his keep as my 5th round pick mustering up 3 points with a little over 2 mins left in the game. Keep in mind that during all this I am down by ONE POINT in my head to head matchup. Less than 2 minutes to go and Patrick Mahomes put the Chiefs ahead so Denver is forced to throw the ball. Thank Christ. With 1:39 to go Case Keenum immediately takes a sack. Good start. I am screaming at my TV at this point. The very next play Keenum completes a 9 yard hitch route to Thomas to nab me the ONE POINT I needed to seal the deal. Fantasy football is legitimately taking years off of my life.
Oh and my TE Tyler Eifert broke his ankle.
Big Z
I don’t know what’s more remarkable, the points I leave on my bench each week or the fact that I’m still winning in spite of my poor coaching decisions. Either way, I won my Week 4 match up 108-76, and at 3-1 am currently sitting in the 3rd place in my ten-team league. Maybe it’s my “defense.” I’m seventh in points, but have “allowed” the fewest points in the league.
Brandon Cooks and George Kittle really saved my bacon in Week 4 with 24 points each. Russell Wilson was a disappointment with just 7 points, and I’ll finally be giving him the hook in Week 5. Time for some Matty Ice, baby! Oh, and did I mention that my opponent played the Cleveland defense?
Mattes:
S-O-Fucking-S! The Purple Cobras are currently in the midst of their worst season ever, sitting at 1-3 and dead last in the league in points by a cool 30. After getting a combined 11.48 points from Russell Wilson, Jordan Howard, and O.J. Howard, I had absolutely no shot, but my opponent made sure to put up almost 160 on me anway. (OH, and Amari Cooper had another phenomenal game on my bench.) Maybe it’s time for Baker Mayfield to come in and right the ship?
Fell down to .500 in my other league, sitting at 2-2. The week started off blazing hot with Kirk Cousins, but then Michael Thomas also decided to forget how to play football this week. Getting two points out of my FLEX and leaving 17 points on the bench from Sony Michel – the guy who I was originally going to play in my FLEX – didn’t help either, especially when you lose by only seven points. Still right in the thick of it all, though, so I’m not sweating it.
I’m not, not worried about the Patriots if we’re being honest. After last night’s double digit loss to the Detroit Lions, on my Meter of Confidence, I am currently residing at Concerned, one tick below Alarmed.
It’s only September. It’s only September. It’s only September. Thats what I keep telling myself. However, that was a piss poor effort against a winless team in the Lions. I do want to see this team at full strength with Julian Edelman and Flowers and Chung back before making any final assessments, but those decisions could be made for the Pats before they’re able to get back to full strength.
I’m sure everything will be fine with the Patriots’ offense once they get their 32-year-old receiver coming off a torn ACL and add in the guy who’s caught 19 total passes in the last four seasons combined.
Hurley’s right though, even when they do get all their guys back, thats not promising any season altering improvements.
A loss to the 3-0 Dolphins next week would put the Pats at 1-3 and 3 games out of first place as well as putting us Patriots fans in an uncommon position; looking up in the AFC East. I’m also trying to keep my expectations in check because it would be totally unfair to expect hope a guy who’s played 11 games in the last four years to be Tom Brady’s savior at receiver. Unfortunately that what this team needs right now. A game changer.
Or they need to get a whole hell of a lot more creative with the ball. James White, one of the Patriots most reliable veterans on a team suddenly searching for answers, only had 3 touches last night. THREE. One of which was a touchdown, ironically enough. Listen I love Sony Michel and I know the Patriots spent a 1st round pick on him, but having Michel outsnap the veteran while he continues to drop balls is not a recipe for success. It would seem like Tom Brady agrees too.
“Yeah, he had a great catch, and had some good runs there at the end. He’s just a great player for us. So, you’re right. He’s gotta be involved. Guys who can make plays are the ones that should be involved. And James is certainly one of them.”
Thats before we even get to the gigantic elephant in the room. There has been drama swirling around this team for the past year, which started with the Seth Wickersham article and culminated this week with the “Brady wants a divorce from Belichick” story and then on Sunday afternoon Adam Schefter reported that the Pats nearly traded Rob Gronkowski to the Lions only to have Gronk threaten to retire rather than accept a trade to Detroit.
Another Gronk point: It wasn’t that Rob Gronkowski didn’t want to play in Detroit; he didn’t want to play anywhere other than New England. Patriots had been discussing a trade with a few teams, and Gronkowski only wanted to play in New England, with Tom Brady, or nowhere at all.
All great news to come out hours before a game. Welp, Gronk finished the game with 4 receptions for 51 yards and 0 TDs after getting double teamed the whole game and then made the whole situation infinitely worse by confirming Schefty’s report post-game.
“Yeah, it happened,” Gronkowski said after New England’s loss to the Lions Sunday night. “Brady’s my quarterback. I’m not going anywhere without Brady.”
And then there’s Gronk’s brother coming to Rob’s defense before anyone pointed to his middling stat line.
So thats just great. Lets not even pretend to be a non-dysfunctional team anymore. Again, I’m not panicking quite yet, as you would want your star TE to want to continue playing for your team. Players threatening to retire doesn’t exactly inspire confidence and trust with the rest of the team, but hey at least he wants to play *here* Right?
I will never count out a Tom Brady led Patriots team until the ink is dry on his retirement papers. Hell I probably won’t doubt a Patriots comeback until I see Tom is his gold jacket.
But with that being said, if the Patriots drop another game next week against RYAN TANNEHILL and the Dolphins, then my meter will officially tick to Alarmed and we will be on Panic watch from there on out.
Week 2 is now in the books and I’d say we are one week away from really seeing what our squads “are”? Don’t you love those questions and answers? “We still don’t know what Jimmy G is.” “We will find out tonight what these 2008 *insert team here* are? But ya, horribly hard to be a T.V analyst.
To go along with Week 2 we have our second addition of the recap of how our bloggers did in their respective league(s). As with Week 1, every blogger has submitted a small blurb on their successes and failures. Let’s get to it…
Papa Giorgio Well, I got absolutely shellacked this weekend. 0-3 across all my leagues. Fournette being out did not help in the slightest. It will be interesting to see how Josh Gordon does for me now that he’s been traded to the Patriots. I have him in two leagues and if the guy can get healthy and live up to his potential my teams should be able to get back on track in the quest for some titles. Otherwise, if things continue to go south I may have to pull a Vontae Davis and get the hell out of Dodge.
(Joey B Note: Something about a Bill’s fan drafting the most volatile player possibly in league history makes me happy.)
Big Z
Fantasy football is a prime example of where it is better to be lucky than good. I was thisclose to dropping Chris Hogan in favor of Phillip Dorsett this week. I ultimately decided against streaming my WR/TE flex position and stuck with Hogan after a lackluster Week 1. At halftime it looked like they would both post underwhelming Week 2 numbers, but I was rewarded with two late TDs by Hogan. Thank god.
As I’ve written before, defense should be taken out of fantasy football. Until that happens, though, I will continue to stream defenses in fantasy football. This week I dropped Green Bay to pick up New England. Whoops! Thankfully the move only cost me eight points. After an early defensive touchdown by Green Bay it looked like it could’ve been a whole lot worse.
Up 89-88 going into Monday night, my opponent was done and I only had Russell Wilson left. I thought about benching him, but when’s the last time a QB got negative points? I don’t know, but Wilson made me sweat it out, turning the ball over a few times in the second half. A garbage-time TD put me at the century mark, though, and cemented my Week 2 W.
So with a Brandin Cooks, Christian McCaffrey and a little luck, the Big Z Fantasy Empire is on the board in 2018.
Red
(Joey B’s Note: This first sentence is laugh out loud funny. This is the beauty of fantasy: you can taste the bitterness)
If I have any piece of advice from another dogshit start to my fantasy season it’s this; stick to the guys you drafted as long as you can. After a disastrous 4 INT game in Week 1, I benched Matt Stafford for Jimmy G and Stafford went off for 32 points compared to Garoppolo’s 20. Naturally I lost by just a hair under 12 points this week.
I also lost in my other league wasting a 27 point, 14 catch, 100 yard performance from Christian McCaffrey. So all in all I am a combined 0-4 to start the fantasy season. Oh and I bet the Patriots to cover on Sunday while I was down in the great state of NJ and obviously lost that bet. So my gambling advice is radioactive right now. Stay away.
Joey B
The bitch of fantasy football is that sometimes what happens in real-life outweighs fantasy. In this case, Gronk having a bad day fantasy-wise was not nearly as bad as that Patriots game overall. I still not only won but had high score thanks to, in part, another MONNNSTER game from Michael Thomas. Still, seeing that 2 points (or so) from Gronk and what it really represented hurt.
Mattes
If it weren’t for O.J. Howard benefitting from even more FitzMagic this week, it would have been a SAD day for the Purple Cobras. Granted, I did leave over 65 points on the bench this week, which included three guys with over 17-plus points each, each of whose performance would have been better than the four-point abomination I got from Ryan Grant in my flex. (Hey! He had nine targets in Week 1!) But alas, it would not have mattered anyway, as my opponent was the league’s high-scorer this week. Fortunately, those bench guys look like they could be forces moving forward, so hopefully I can start to right the ship in Week 3 after a rough (but not insurmountable!) 0-2 start.
As far as my other league goes, I was able to pull out a two-point victory thanks in large part to Captain Kirk Cousins, who went absolute H.A.M. sandwich in Green Bay on Sunday. Pairing him up with Philip Rivers in a two-QB league proved to be quite the boon this week. Michael Thomas also continues to be a PPR juggernaut, and the fact that Chris Carson didn’t get a carry in the second half killed any chance my opponent had of winning going into what was looking like a very advantageous Monday night scenario for him. If David Johnson, Larry Fitz, and the Cardinals offense ever wakes the hell up, I’d be feeling pretty damn good about this squad. I’ll take a 1-1 start for now.
Sunday was an ugly day for the New England Patriots. I was feeling pretty confident heading in and since I was in the great state of New Jersey I even placed a legal wager on my boys to pull it out. Welp, midway through the first quarter I knew I wasn’t getting that money back ever again. What seemed like a steamrolling by the Jaguars was a game that actually pivoted on just a handful of plays and missed opportunities, which I have painstakingly compiled below. Andddd go!
-Gostkowski missed another bunny in a key moment. Yuck, this guy is basically Tuukka Rask to me these days. He’s not as bad as sports talk radio says, but he’s definitely not as great as the team would have you believe. I know it’s only a handful of kicks he’s missed over the years, but they all seem to stick out in my memory because they all came in key situations. Regardless of his FG percentage, I do not want this guy anywhere near a game tying or game winning kick anymore.
-Refs missed a holding call against Gronk (and a potential roughing the passer) and the Pats were forced to kick on 4th down on their first drive, which as we mentioned above Gostkowski shanked with an absolute duck of a kick.
Gostkowski sends it OB right as Patriots end first drive pointless. Either the Telvin Smith jersey tug or Ngakoue “weight drop” should have been drive-extenders.
-A Jacksonville receiver fumbled a ball that jumped like a magic fucking bean right into another Jacksonville receiver’s hands for the luckiest of recoveries.
-This defense looked like swiss cheese all day, which is alarming, but it would be out of character for any Patriots fan to completely overreact. We’ve seen these early season losses when the team is still trying to figure it out. Whether it was the offensive line or the right linebacker rotation, we’ve seen it before and this year is probably no different especially when it comes to the wide receivers. Hell the Pats are like the high school jock who got a little too high on himself and dumped a perfectly nice girl (Kenny Britt), only to try and get her back after he’s put on the freshman 15 at college.
-Eric Rowe got roasted all day long. One of the plays against him was impossible to stop:
But he then immediately got beat for a TD he should have been able to defend.
-The defense got burned on 3rd down all game long as Bortles scrambled and found an open man or ran for first downs himself. Hell he’s got the third highest Avg Yards per Rush for a QB in the history of the league, just a tick behind Michael Vick.
-The defense was bad yes, but lets remember that it took a career day from Blake Bortles (29 of 45 for 377 yards, 4 touchdowns, 1 interception). Literally the best game of his career to topple the Patriots, which kind of stung after I clowned Bortles all week long and lost a little coin in the process, but hey thems the breaks.
Thats the most concerning visual from the entire game. It kind of felt like Brady and McDaniels were starting to worry that this team might not be able to get them where they want to go. Hopefully it’s just the two of them blowing off some steam on the new guys making mental errors.
-Breathe and say it with me….Julian Edelman will be back in 3 weeks.
-I’m pretty sure Mattes and I have stumbled onto some black magic as the two guys we picked for team MVPs on The 300s Podcast, Rex Burkhead and Trey Flowers, have each gotten concussions in the first two weeks. Another guy Mattes picked as a DPOY was Deatrich Wise, who left the game late with what the announcers speculated as some jumbled finger digits. I’m not comfortable with this type of power.
-At one point midway through the second half the broadcast team pointed out that it had been a full 45 minutes since Tom Brady had thrown the ball. That cannot help gameflow and momentum.
-The non-call of the Jags jumping offsides on 4th down late in the game as the Pats tried to draw the penalty before punting. As the broadcast team, and TV shots of a fuming Belichick pointed out, the offensive lineman needs to touch the the defender if he jumps onside otherwise he can reset and the refs won’t call it. Romo even pointed out in the replay you can see the official reach for his flag before deciding against it. That one hurt.
-Before the season I predicted the Pats would split with the Jags and the Texans and be 3-1 after the first month. After Week 2, we’re exactly where I expected so unless they drop a game to the Lions and old friend Matt Patricia
or the Dolphins, who tried their very best to give away a W to the Jets on Sunday, then we’re fine.
-Don’t get it twisted, this defense is somewhere between hot garbage and a cold lunch, BUT its probably a little bit better than the defense that was one stop away from winning back to back Super Bowls last year. So it may not always be pretty, it will probably be infuriatingly bad at times, but at the end of the day it should be good enough to keep the team alive as long as TB12 is under center…..and not a second longer.
-After predicting the Pats would do their best to eviscerate Jalen Ramsey for trash talking Gronk (I may have said something about making his children orphans, but I forget) and they did nothing of the sort. The offense could not get into a rhythm and anytime they did, their momentum was killed by turnovers and missed kicks.
-Cordarrelle Patterson killed a drive when he tripped over the Ghost of Christmas Past on a key third down. After the Pats defense came up huge and forced a quick 3 and out, the offense came out onto the field and these next two tweets came over the span of 6 minutes.
A short series and a terrible punt. The #Patriots have to smell blood here. #Jags
Patterson caught a screen out of the backfield and looked like he had room to run, but his feet would not cooperate as he tripped over nothing and fell down to end the drive in its tracks.
Anddd 5 minutes after that Bortles threw a pick to try and let the Patriots back into the game. Anddd then 3 minutes after that Brady was strip sacked and that was the game.
So I just have to tip my cap to the Jaguars. It’s only Week 2 so I hope they aren’t riding too high….
“It kind of felt like we won a Super Bowl, man,” safety Tashaun Gipson said. “I won’t even kid you. It was that type of atmosphere and environment.
….because we’ve seen this story before (see: Chiefs 2014), but alas I tip my cap.
-Josh Gordon?? I say yes because of the pure ability coupled with the age; 27 whereas Dez Bryant will be 30 soon.
But obviously the guy has been dealing with issues for years. The last, and only, good season Gordon had came back in 2013. Back when Shane Victorino played for the Red Sox. Tom E. Curran makes a pretty compelling argument against the receiver as well:
He’s played in 11 of a possible 65 games since his absurd 2013 season (86 catches, 1,646 yards). He needs full-time supervision, it seems. Permissiveness, understanding and contorting for Gordon’s needs all offseason got the Browns . . . a game. One catch. A touchdown. And then they threw up their hands.
How’s that return on emotional investment and time spent? Not real good. It’s not inhumane to tell a troubled person he is unemployable, which Gordon has been and seemingly still is.
Besides, the Patriots were already down the road with one wide receiver project, Cordarelle Patterson. Then they added Corey Coleman this week.
If feels like they are at capacity when it comes to getting talented but hard-to-reach downfield receivers assimilated. This isn’t July when there’s nothing to do but conditioning, working on timing and getting on the same page. There are games every seven days now, game plans to install, fine-tune and execute.
The reality is, nobody’s got time for Josh Gordon right now.
Despite all that, the Patriots are at least doing their due diligence on Gordon according to Bert Breer.
So that may have been more than just a few pivot points, but I think its just an early season misstep for the Pats (one that I expected) as they build for the longterm and assess what their strengths and weaknesses are. Plus I feel much more confident going against the Jags in the playoffs going for the split, rather than trying to beat Sacksonville twice in one season.
Up next is old friend Matt Patricia and my worst fantasy draft pick in a decade; Matt Stafford.
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The 300s 