Tag: TB12

Tom Brady Apparently Almost Broke His Shoulder Skiing

As a completely objective observer this is a funny video. Tom Brady has always had a pretty dry sense of humor that has helped him crush his hosting gig on SNL way back when as well as any commercial he’s ever done. But I am not an objective observer, I am a die hard Patriots fan and a Tom Brady stan. Tom says himself that this video is from two years ago, but it still makes me nauseous. Is this what parents feel like? Just always nervous your kid’s going to kill himself doing something stupid? Brady legit goes ass over end HITTING A SKI JUMP!

Dudes get hurt and wreck their careers doing way less all the time. Christ the Curse of the Bambino and the Red Sox Yankees rivalry changed forever because Aaron Boone tore his knee playing pickup basketball, which led to the A-Rod trade.

So would I prefer Tom didn’t try out for the X-Games in the offseason? Sure. But it’s that crazy competitive spirit that makes him great so I guess I’ll just sit up all night worrying about Tom until he gets home in one piece.

“Way bigger hill. Way more speed” is an A+ line though.

The Consistency in Which Tom Brady Makes the AFC Championship Game is Unparalleled in the Most Literal Sense of the Word

To recap and present optically so that this can be easily digested:

Rate Category                                                                                 Percentage

-Tom Brady making the AFC Championship game                        76.5%
-NFL QB (Drew Brees) completing passes, per season                  74.4%
-Lebron James making free throws (because ESPN                       73%
is required to talk about Lebron James every story)
-Best putter in PGA between 5ft-10ft makes putt, 2018 season     68%

Let’s really let that sink in. To do that, you have to remember that every other category other than Brady’s is measured in single occurrences. A golfer putts once. The ball is only thrown once per attempt. Queen James only shoots once, and probably draws a foul from the foul line because an opposing player looked at him too aggressively.

Now think that in Brady’s category, he had to win 17 OR 18 professional football games to to work his way to a 76.5% percentage rate. Floyd Mayweather is 50-0 currently right? He beat 50 different opponents (with the exception of a couple rematches) one time on one night without ever losing. Now imagine if he had to fight 17 or 18 guys on those one nights to earn that “1” win. THAT IS FUCKING PREPOSTEROUS.

Now dig deeper and think about the times we layed eggs against the Colts and the Ravens and how this number could very well be even higher. For us, Pats Nation, that are numb to Tom Brady’s greatness and consistency; who have long since lost gratitude for the blessing of having him Quarterback our team for so long, this data puts things back in perspective. Thomas Edward Patrick Brady brings us within a hair of a championship at a more regular clip than a safe and sound golfer shielded from so much as a PEEP OF CROWD NOISE is able to tap a ball into a hole from 5ft-10ft. Brady does what he does with 300lb men trying to murder him and threats to his family and genitals being rained down upon him from the crowd.

So next time someone who has not seen a clenched fist, a field, a court, a sheet of ice, or in Max Kellerman’s case, the outside of a pilates studio, since they were 10 tried to come at the GOAT, Just remind, say, Max Kellerman that Tom Brady “dinks and dunks” his way to the AFC Championship game at a better clip than he gets shutdown by FS1 hair stylists.

LONG MAY HE REIGN.

-Joey B.

#RushHourRap – 50 Cent – Many Men

Tom Brady and I must have a mental connection because on Saturday night I went deep down the rabbit hole of 2000’s rap and got into a debate (at a 30th birthday party because I’m washed) about how Get Rich or Die Tryin’ is one of the best rap albums of all time. So what does Tom bump for his celebratory Monday workout? Many Men from Get Rich or Die Tryin’ of course. It’s been 15 years, but this album still goes hard and *nothing* beats the over the top style of early 2000’s music videos.

Buy or Sell: Tom Brady’s Plans to “Not only Play Next Year, but Beyond That”

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As he does every week, Tom Brady spoke with his buddy Jim Gray of Westwood One on Monday – which also just so happened to be Christmas Eve – and gave Patriots fans what many of them may blindly believe to be the greatest gift they’ll receive this holiday season: his renewed commitment to playing for the long term.

When asked if he’d be playing next season, at the ripe age of 42, Brady said:

“I absolutely believe I will. I know I’ve talked about it for a long time: I have goals to not only play next year, but beyond that. I’m going to try to do it as best I possibly can. I’m going to give it everything I have, like I always have.”

In a vacuum, that quote sounds great. The winningest QB of all time saying that he’s not going anywhere, continuing to display the resolve of a lion refusing to give up his place as the alpha on the Serengeti? Talk about some much-needed motivation for a post-Christmas return to the office!

But, in reality, is what he said really a good thing?

Mattes! How could you??!! That’s Tom FUCKIN’ Brady! The G.O.A.T! The greatest thing to ever happen to the Pats, and possibly New England as a whole! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!

Look, I’m not denying any of those things. Brady is arguably the greatest athlete in Boston sports history, and for all that he’s done he does deserve the chance to at least try to play as long as he possibly can.

However, the Pats cannot continue to blindly place all of their confidence in Brady’s determination and bravado, completely ignoring the fact that this is man who has already far exceeded the shelf life of most NFL quarterbacks. Yes, what he’s done so far is pretty damn impressive, but let’s also not forget that Brady is indeed still a human being.

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OK, mayyybeee, he’s a bit more special than most humans.

As they say, Father Time always wins, and I believe we’re finally starting to see the old man get his licks in on the legend. Sure, Brady’s 4,105 passing yards and 25 touchdowns this year are still Pro-Bowl-worthy marks, but his 11 interceptions are also the most he’s had since 2013 and are two higher than his career average (with one game still left to play).

Sure. Maybe the 11 picks aren’t all that alarming on paper, but you can’t tell me there haven’t been times this year where you haven’t looked at the T.V. going: “Really, Tommy? What the HELL was that throw?

All I’m saying is that whether it’s due to his old age, a supposedly “minor” knee issue, or the fact that the offense is in a state of flux, Brady hasn’t looked as infallible or fluid as usual, even being just one year removed from an MVP season. And I’m sorry, but no matter how many tofu cakes he consumes or how many tomatoes he refuses to eat, he’s not going to recuperate like he used to.

So, what are you saying then, Mattes??!! Do you really think we should get rid of Brady?!

NO! Not right now at least. But if we go another offseason without so much as giving a thought to life after Brady, I’m going to be pretty heated. I’m not too upset about them passing on Lamar Jackson this year at the end of the first round, but after trading Jimmy Garoppolo, the team has nothing in terms of future QB prospects.

To be fair, not many teams are lucky enough to have a guy waiting in the wings once a legend decides – or is forced – to hang ’em up for good. But the smart teams DO at least make an effort. The Colts made the tough decision to tank and move on from Peyton Manning in order to nab Andrew Luck. The Packers picked Aaron Rodgers, knowing it would piss Brett Favre off, and while Rodgers had to wait three years to finally get his shot, the Packers barely skipped a beat. Hell, the 49ers even traded Joe Montana in favor of Steve Young, and I’d say that one worked out pretty well.

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Hopefully, this one doesn’t come back to bite the Pats down the line.

The point is that a tough decision is going to have to be made soon. And, if we’re being entirely honest, it’s probably going to come down to the team forcing the player’s hand, because at this point I doubt Brady goes anywhere until he is literally physically unable to move.

But the Pats can’t wait that long. They can’t just sit around expecting 3-5 more years of greatness and then just, I don’t know, hope for the best? Because once Brady starts to slip, it’s likely going continue rapidly, as was the case with many before him. (And, like I said, I think we’re already starting to see it.) Or, even worse, as age and body ailments continue to mount, Brady is forced to suddenly retire, against his will and good intentions, leaving the Pats with absolutely ZILCH (and likely a very looooong rebuild).

And – I hope you’re sitting down for this one – if the opportunity comes along where a team is willing to part with a hefty amount of assets in order to bring in that one piece that will take them over the top, then the Pats shouldn’t hesitate to trade Brady.

I’m not saying to simply trade the guy for a first-round pick; he deserves better than that. And I’m not saying we should necessarily do it this offseason. But what if there’s a team out there that is willing to trade multiple draft picks and, say, a top-50 player who’s still in his mid-to-late 20s in order to acquire him? Bill & Co. would be foolish to not at least consider it.

Even outside of the QB position, the Pats have a dearth of young talent on the roster, and even with Brady right now, the Patriots are not the automatic AFC champions that they used to be. And continuing to place their full confidence on Brady’s lip-service and accolades alone could come back to bite the franchise in a big way once the TB12 era is all said and done.

So, I’m happy that still you love the game, Tommy, and I know that the day you’re no longer donning a Pats uniform will truly be one of the saddest of my life. But I’m also not ignorant, and it’s time for Pats Nation to take off those Brady-colored glasses and start looking toward the future.

What I Learned from the Tom Brady Tom vs Time Epilogue

To be honest, not much. When news of this Tom vs Time epilogue dropped out of the clouds I was a little nervous. People were theorizing that he might use it as an opportunity to announce his retirement. What it really seemed like though was a PR market adjustment attempt by Tom Brady. This offseason was not a great one for Tom’s image as rumors of infighting with Belichick, rumors of him threatening to retire, all the Alex Guerrero drama, and then of course his buddy and TB12 client Julian Edelman getting popped for PEDs.

So it seems like Tom just wanted to put his spin on everything and let people know that despite all the noise, its just that; noise. He still intends to play for as long as he can aka “5 more years.” So we’ll see, but I don’t think that 5 minutes of Tom vs Time can make you feel anything other than confident Brady is focused on getting that next ring.

With all that being said…

There is TONS of fire flames TB12 swag in the pipelines that I can only hope is coming our way soon.

Did anyone else catch this?

TB12 SHOES. Sorry Kanye, but Tom Brady just became my lord and savior in the sneaker world. So you better believe I will have my eyes open and on the lookout for these babies.

And the 5 Rings hoodie?

Just take my credit card information right now.

Tom Brady teased us for years with the TB12 hats before we were able to actually buy them. Once they went on sale I did not wait around. I bought two.

What can I say, the man knows how to market. I will, however, NOT buy a vibrating foam roller. Come on now.

 

BREAKING: Tom Brady Announces New Episode of Tom vs Time for Tomorrow at Noon

Breathe, just breathe. Tom Brady just announced on Facebook that he is dropping a new episode of Tom vs Time from the clouds tomorrow at noon. Why is he doing this? I feel like Ari Gold when Terrance came to visit him at home in the bar mitzvah episode.

But seriously, this show had a very definitive ending with the Patriots losing the Super Bowl and Tom pretty openly questioning his commitment to football.

It was a pretty controversial and was really just the beginning of a completely hectic offseason that featured infighting, rumors of both Brady and Gronk threatening to retire, Alex Guerrero got his groove back, with Gronk and Brady getting reworked contracts.

But there has been a cloud over this team for the better part of 7 months and now 4 days before the Patriots are set to kick off their 2018 season, Tom Brady busts his Facebook show out of the Disney Vault after saying time and time again he was done with Tom vs Time. Why?

On 98.5 this morning they were throwing out conspiracy theories saying that Brady may announce his retirement and that 2018 will be his last season. Or maybe he just wants to put his own spin on the narrative that got away from him this offseason after one of his favorite guys in Amendola left town, skipping OTAs, as well as his WR1 and TB12 client Julian Edelman getting popped for PEDs.

Who knows what the hell is going to be said on this episode tomorrow, but I suggest everybody take their lunch break at noon tomorrow with a pair of headphones and your iPhone.

Did Tom Brady Get the TB12 Method from Entourage?

Image result for entourage on tv

I recently signed up for Amazon Prime and started binge watching Entourage from the beginning again. That’s the way to go with Entourage. It’s not Seinfeld, you can’t drop in for one random episode here or there thanks to some of the drawn out story lines. That makes it perfect to stream, but also one of the reasons why it was such a disaster in syndication.

The show hasn’t aged particularly well, either. The Contest Seinfeld episode from 1992 feels less dated than a lot of the Entourage episodes from the last decade. But that doesn’t mean Entourage was totally devoid of enlightened knowledge. I stumbled across some fitness advice from one of Vince’s girlfriends in season one that sounds awfully familiar…

Yoga? No weights? A mean stretch?

“Bulk is so 90s Johnny. It’s all about flexibility.”

Plant-based protein? The only word of the TB12 Method that Vince’s time traveling girlfriend didn’t use was “pliability.” But she came pretty damn close.

So I think now we know how Brady spent his offseasons in the mid-2000s. Watching Entourage every week just like the rest of us. When he wasn’t playing golf with the gang, that is.

Tom Brady Got Body Shamed by the Internet Yesterday and I Won’t Stand for It

Another photo of Tom Brady’s vacation on the island from LOST went viral yesterday and for all the wrong reasons. TB12 was pictured in a stunning emerald green bathing suit, but rather than compliment his sense of style, everyone on the interwebs pointed to the fact that Tom didn’t have a 6-pack.

The TB12 Method never claimed to get you shredded, it claimed to make you the best at what you do through pliability as well as impervious to sunburns. Simple stuff. Guys, its Tom Brady. When was Tom Brady ever a walking GI Joe?

Its summer vacation, we’re all imbibing one too many craft beers and an extra one or 12 hot dogs at the family BBQ. I get it. Now Tom may be indulging more on avocado ice cream, chia seeds, and maybe even a couple of strawberries, but the point remains.

So to all those who body shamed my guy Tom yesterday; for shame. If people were saying this shit about Giselle they’d have to shut down the internet for a day. I think Tom looks stunning, glowing even, as he squeezes out the last few days of summer vaca before getting back to the grind of winning another Super Bowl.

Tom Brady Has Put Everyone’s Brain in a Pretzel This Week

NBCSports Somebody needs to tug on Tom Brady’s sleeve and let him know that fun’s fun, but he’s drifting into Brett Favre territory nowForty-eight hours hadn’t passed since the Oprah Orchard Interview in which Brady said his retirement was coming “sooner rather than later” and there he was on Instagram Tuesday afternoon insinuating in Spanish that he’s back to playing until he’s 45. Given that he’s 40 right now and his contract expires at the end of the 2019 season, 45 seems like later not sooner. That’s standard fare this offseason.

Tom E. Curran wrote an article yesterday about Tom Brady’s back and forth retirement timeline plans thats definitely worth the read. Curran is as tied into the Brady family as anyone so when he writes about Brady I pay attention.

It’s definitely frustrating to not know when exactly Brady will ultimately play until, but thats the cross you bear for having a 40-year-old quarterback, who just won the MVP by the way, leading your team. I’m sure 99% of the NFL would swap places with Patriots fans right now.

The waffling and the mind games are what will drive people up a wall though. Saying ad nauseum that he’s playing until his mid-forties or beyond, only to tell Oprah that he’s going to hang em up “sooner rather than later” only to then cryptically comment “45” in Spanish on an ESPN post on Instagram.

The Brett Favre comparisons will only grow louder unless Brady makes a definitive public statement declaring his intentions one way or the other, but why would he? It’s frustrating, but I get it. If my job asked me to commit to 3-4 more years I would give them a big shrug emoji.

Did Brady likely bitch and moan to the owner to get his heir apparent in Jimmy Garoppolo shipped out of town? All signs point to yes, but its not Tom’s job to make sure the Patriots are set up for 2024. That’s on Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick.

Listen, if Brady up and retires tomorrow it is a massive dick move and is a complete about face from everything he’s preached for the last few years. That would be unforgivable after he basically forced Kraft to ship Jimmy G out of town….but fans would forgive him sooner rather than later. Sure, Bill may never talk to him again outside of Hall of Fame inductions and such, but its become pretty clear over the past several months that these guys aren’t exactly ripping it up together on the VII Rings in Nantucket.

Back to Curran’s larger point here though. Brady joked after the Super Bowl when asked about retirement “Why does everyone want me to retire?” Thats just it. Everyone, outside of New England at least, does want him to retire. The rest of the league has just been counting down the seconds on the imaginary doomsday clock thats been ticking, and ticking, and ticking since the day the Pats drafted Garoppolo and we all became aware of “Tom’s age and contract situation.” So yea no kidding everyone wants to know when Brady is retiring. So they can start planning to maybe possibly be competitive or even potentially win an AFC East title for the first time in nearly 20 years.

“does he not get that his and the Patriots stranglehold on the NFL isn’t like Jordan’s on the NBA. It’s closer to Godzilla’s on Japan, and that every other NFL team and fanbase is counting the seconds until he walks.

That’s why every throat-clearing, every pause, every social media “like” is scrutinized for clues as to which way he’s ultimately leaning.”

The end is coming. I don’t know when, but we’re not quite there yet. They may have announced last call at the bar, but they haven’t turned the lights on just yet. So until then lets just enjoy the ride.