Tag: Vince McMahon

Miss Football Already? Well the XFL Kicks Off This Weekend!

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Two long years since its announcement, Vince McMahon is finally set to unveil yet another football league to compete with complement the NFL. Unlike the AAF, which flamed out in spectacular fashion, the XFL at least has the benefit of not competing directly with the NFL by kicking off after the Super Bowl.

The first XFL commercial I’ve seen has been *extremely* generous in it’s description of the talent playing in the league. With a roster led by the likes of former Ohio State QB Cardale “We didn’t come here to play school” Jones

and Connor Cook, who’s best known for unceremoniously snatching the Big Ten Championship game MVP trophy.

Not exactly the stuff of fantasy football dreams so expectations need to be tempered.

I will say however, I am pretty excited for some of the rule tweaks the XFL will utilize. Most of the rulebook is the same just with a focus on speeding up the game. There are a few minor tweaks like moving back the kickoffs and eliminating extra point attempts, but the biggest rule tweak I’m most excited for is the double forward pass.

Yup, something that is not legal in any level of football and would even get you flagged in a pickup football game is about to, hopefully, become a staple in XFL playbooks. Just think of the possibilities if you’re a team running the RPO with the ability to then throw a double forward pass. My mouth is watering just thinking of the ridiculous plays we’ll see on SportsCenter Twitter.

I think the biggest selling point for the league is actually this: what the hell else are you doing on Saturday afternoon? The XFL schedule will play two games each on Saturday and Sunday for the next 10 weeks until the playoffs start, assuming the league has not gone out of business by that point. If nothing else this makes for great day drinking background noise at worst and an entertaining 90 minutes at best.

I’ll give it a shot.

Chad Ochocinco is Trying Out for the XFL. As a Kicker.

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So Mattes and I were discussing the XFL earlier and the one question he asked me was, “will you watch?” My answer was the same as it was for that disaster that was the AAF: I’m going to try. Where the AAF was just bad NFL football, at least the XFL will be playing with some rule tweaks to make the game quicker and differentiate it from the NFL.

Now Vince McMahon does sees much more wary of turning the XFL into a circus act like it was the first time around so you don’t see many big name former NFL players in the league just to grab attention. It looks like they’re trying to build something semi legitimate so maybe he doesn’t want former wide receivers joining the league as kickers, but hey lets see what he’s got at least.

I mean it’s not a total gimmick either; the man has legitimately kicked field goals in NFL games before. Against the Patriots no less.

As a well known FIFA diehard Ochocinco is no stranger to striking and apparently he can boot the ball.

Unfortunately for Ocho, the XFL nearly eliminated the need for a kicker by removing extra point field goal attempts. They also pushed the kickoff back 10 yards from where the NFL and college does it so unless you’re kicking it 75+ yards you’re probably not getting many touchbacks.

All I know is football is more fun when Chad Ochocinco is a part of it so I’m pulling for him.

The XFL Announces the First Pool of Players in the Draft and It is…Underwhelming

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This is…disappointing. Did I expect Tim Tebow and Colin Kaepernick to carry the XFL flag out of the tunnel?  No, but maybe a couple of names I actually recognized. They couldn’t even get a guy like Trent Richardson after he failed in the AAF? And where’s Johnny Manziel for christs sake? This league was built for him…which I also said about him and the CFL and the AAF….but thats besides the point.

Oh and the great Landry Jones doesn’t count because he already signed with the league and per its rules the XFL will be assigning a QB to each team. Vince McMahon has seen how many NFL teams are complete disasters because they can’t find a QB so he’s trying to micro-manage that problem and nip it in the bud.

Okay, so not a vast and deep pool of talent, but lets see what we got here. If you are a college football nerd then you’re on your own because this list is ranked on dudes I actually recognized and remember watching at some point.

1.) Connor Cook – Easily the biggest name in this entire draft pool. Cook was a pretty damn good QB at Michigan State and was once even looked at as a potential starter in the NFL when the Raiders drafted him in the 4th round in 2016. Hell he even started a playoff game after Derek Carr got injured, but he never really caught on and bounced around the league for a couple years and got released a few times. You may also remember Cook for looking like a total dickhead snatching the Big Ten Championship game MVP trophy from Archie Griffin.

 

2.) Roberto Aguayo – One of the best kickers in NCAA history turned the biggest bust of a kicker in NFL history. Aguayo was a stud at Florida State (most accurate kicker in ACC history and 3rd in NCAA history) before the guy went OFF THE RAILS in dumpster fire fashion playing for the Bucs. So much so that I worry about the guy a little bit, so hopefully he gets back on track in the XFL. The Bucs literally traded up into the 2nd round for Aguayo before he missed a boatload of kicks and was unceremoniously cut.

3.) Devin Lucien – If this name sounds familiar its because he was a 7th round draft pick of the Patriots in 2016 who became a pre-season darling before failing to make the team.

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4.) Sealver Siliga – Another former Patriot! Siliga played 3 seasons for the Patriots making 13 starts with 5.5 sacks and 95 tackles.

5.) Darron Thomas – Thomas played QB at Oregon so thats the one and only reason he caught my eye. Thomas was actually a pretty good QB for the Ducks in the post-Dennis Dixon pre-Marcus Mariota era. Thomas led Oregon to the National Championship game in 2011, which they lost to Cam Newton and Auburn. I remember that game vividly because Mattes and I watched it in a Chilis like the scrubs that we are. You probably unfamiliar with his work because Thomas left Oregon early to enter the NFL Draft and got neither drafted nor signed as a free agent before kicking around the Canadian Football League, Champions Professional Indoor Football League, Arena Football League, Major League Football (which I’ve never even heard of because it never actually played a game), Indoor Football League, and even played for the Worcester Pirates in the National Arena League last year!

6.) HANDSOME Tanielu – What a name. Only reason he made the list.

 

Woo! The XFL Draft is sneaking up and then the inaugural  latest XFL season kicks off in February, 2020. Catch the fever!

The XFL Draft is Going to Be Like a Fantasy Football Draft On Speed

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PFT – The XFL will be making some noise next week, with a two-day draft that will allow the eight teams to fill out 71-man rosters. The draft happens on Tuesday and Wednesday, October 15 and 16.

Quarterbacks won’t be drafted, at least not all of them. One quarterback — presumably a perceived starter — will be “assigned” to each team by the XFL. The draft then will proceed with five phases: (1) skill-position players; (2) offensive linemen; (3) defensive front seven; (4) defensive backs; and (5) open draft, for all positions and specialists. The first four phases will result in teams choosing 10 players each; the last phase will continue until the 71-man rosters are filling.

Teams will have only 90 seconds to make their picks, via video conference with the XFL’s main office in Connecticut.

You know what my biggest complaint about live fantasy football drafts always is? That after the first 2 rounds every pick takes 7 minutes because Steve didn’t do his research. And by Steve, I mean me, because I don’t know who the freaking backup TE is in Jacksonville. Either way those live drafts are fun, but can easily take 4 hours, which is why online drafts are great. Even if you don’t know who you want to pick, tough shit because you’re getting someone. Now the NFL gives each team 10 minutes per pick in the first round and then 4-7 minutes per pick after that. Well the XFL is here to speed things along.

Each team will get a grand total of 90 seconds to make every one of their picks. LIGHTNING ROUND! Whether thats enough to make an intelligent business decision is none of my concern.

Vince McMahon promised change, speed, and entertainment. I don’t know if that necessarily translates into good football, but thats where the AAF failed; they didn’t bring anything new to the table. Sure the XFL made an official announcement that LANDRY JONES joined the league (former Steelers backup QB) as its first player, which probably speaks more to the quality of competition than I care to admit, but hey at least the XFL will be different. If that means I can bang out an entire XFL game in the time it takes to rewatch Happy Gilmore for the 100th time then I’ll check it out. What I’m not doing is devoting 2-3 hours to a subpar product. The XFL is fast food, which is fine. Theres a place in my diet for fast food every once in a while. Just don’t pretend to be something you’re not and I think 90 second draft slots are the first step in that direction.

Christmas Came Early, the XFL Team Names and Logos are Here

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So the XFL announced the names of every team and unveiled their official logos today, which is pretty exciting considering its August 21st and the Patriots are still playing fauxball.

February 2020 cannot come soon enough. The Patriots will be coming off their 4th Super Bowl title in six years after repeating as champs and then we can coast into Vince McMahon’s little football experiment. The AAF failed because it was financed and run by people who had apparently never run a business a day in their lives. Vince has been running one of the most successful entertainment organizations ever for the past 30+ years. If nothing else the man knows how to put on a show.

I was cautiously optimistic about this announcement because these expansion leagues always seem to have the WORST team names. (Looking at you, Atlanta Legends)

So how’d Vince do? Lets break em down.

Houston Roughnecks – First off, I absolutely LOVE the Roughnecks logo, an excellent shoutout to the Oilers of the old days. We have an early favorite folks.

Dallas Renegades – Obviously you have to put at least one team in Texas considering high school football games in Texas draw bigger than some professional teams. The name Renegades screams expansion team though, weak name. Give me something spicy.

LA Wildcats – This sounds like the name of the Rams’ cheer squad. Boooo

New York Guardians – Meh. They’re a silent New York Guardian, a watchful protector, a dark knight that will probably lose a bunch of games by the sheer fact of being too close to the Knicks/Jets/Giants/Mets.

St. Louis BattleHawks – I have no idea what a BattleHawk is, nobody does really, but I fuck with it. Bad ass name.

Seattle Dragons – Any time a new team pulls the ole reliable “Dragon” name off the shelf, I can’t help but go back to Papa Giorgio’s hilarious story of how the Islanders came to have a bastard dragon for a mascot.

Tampa Bay Vipers – I will say the name Viper has come back into vogue thanks almost entirely to one Oberyn Martell before he (spoiler alert) met his untimely demise. Plus its Florida so encountering a pack of Vipers is a very real possibility. Vipers are OK by me.

DC Defenders – Alliteration! Decent idea, but poor exectution. What are they defending? Are they defending Vince McMahon’s idea to launch a bootleg football league for the second time in 20 years? Are they the Marvel Defenders? Prop bet idea: What gets cancelled quicker? The Defenders on Netflix or the DC Defenders of the XFL?

Now I just have to decide which team to stan for so I would like to announce that my XFL fanhood free agency period has officially opened. Let the bidding commence.

The AAF Has Officially Folded. We Hardly Knew Ye

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SI – The Alliance of American Football will suspend football operations on Tuesday, reports ProFootballTalk. The league is just eight weeks into its inaugural season.

SI’s Albert Breer reported AAF team officials have a conference call with the league office at 1 p.m. ET. Breer reported there’s a perception inside the league that AAF majority owner Tom Dundon bought a bought a stake in the league for the gambling app being developed with one source saying, “Dundon got the technology he wanted and he’s now minus one rather large headache.” SI’s Conor Orr reported league heads were stunned and still working on a solution.

According to ProFootballTalk, the league is not folding yet but it is heading that way.

The writing has been on the wall for a while now as I’ve already written a few blogs over the past month about the AAF nearly going out of business and it’s barely Month 3 of the league’s lifespan. Welp, that’ll do it for the AAF apparently, who is heading the way of the dinosaur.

I won’t rehash the same things I said in my last blog on this, but here’s what I had to say on a league not having a plan to make it through even one season:

“Who is running these leagues? Obviously we’ve seen football leagues come and go over the past 20 years as the NFL has maintained its stranglehold on consumers’ attention without even lifting a finger. Most of these leagues fail because its just morons running the business side of things it would seem.

In marketing they say the average person needs to see an ad or a brand message seven times before it sticks. Now apply that to the AAF. How many AAF games do you think the average sports fan has watched? One? Maybe two? The AAF *had* to be prepared for slow adoption, otherwise it was a stupid business venture.”

But then there’s that tidbit from Bert Breer’s report that Tom Dundon, the Carolina Hurricanes owner that invested $250M to save the league last month, has basically sold the league not for its football but for it’s technological IP.

If thats true that is wild and I can imagine the other owners are bullshit. Those other owners probably feel swindled for paying to build up this football league only to have an investor come in and sell the whole thing for parts. But hey thats what happens when you sell majority ownership to a billionaire; you give up control. It’s fascinating just because I’ve never heard of anything like it. For all of its failings, the AAF was at least trying out innovative things, like the makings of a gambling app apparently.

Then on the other side of the Football Leagues Competing With the NFL coin is Vince McMahon who smells blood in the water now.

“Vince McMahon, who plans to give the XFL another shot next year, has sold $272 million worth of WWE stock, and company filings say that money will primarily go toward the XFL..McMahon has said he’s ready to spend $500 million over the first three years of the XFL to get the league off the ground, suggesting that even if the league struggles to gain traction at first, he’ll stick with it rather than pulling the plug after one season”

Vince seems to be pretty confident, cocky some would say, that he has fixed the issues that plagued the XFL the first time around. Despite the fact that a very similar concept just failed spectacularly, Vince has doubled down and is apparently ready to pour $500 million into the XFL.

Who knows if the XFL will be any more successful than the AAF, but I’ll tell you one thing, Vince will not fail because of a lack of marketing and promotion. Thats his bread and butter so don’t be surprised to see mass media promotions and gigantic billboards featuring Johnny Football, maybe Colin Kaepernick and whatever other fringe NFL players with a big name that they can find. Either way, this whole 2-3 year drama of new football leagues popping up and dying off will be a fascinating case study of monopolies in American business as the NFL crushes these competitors without even lifting a finger.

Speaking of Manziel, he’s the voice of reason and restraint here today, which was refreshing to see. My man is once again a free agent and as I’ve said before, it’s probably XFL or bust for his football career at this point.

The AAF Apparently Needed a $250M Investment Just to Make Payroll in Week TWO

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Yahoo – For all the good publicity the Alliance of American Football received early on, it’s still a startup business. Like plenty of other startup businesses, the AAF might have been underfunded to start. The Athletic’s David Glenn, citing multiple sources, reported that the league was in danger of not making payroll last week, just the second week of the league’s existence.

The crisis was averted. Glenn wrote that Carolina Hurricanes majority owner Tom Dundon will be introduced as the AAF’s new chairman after investing $250 million to the AAF. The NHL owner’s investment allowed the league to meet its financial obligations...

“Without a new, nine-figure investor, nobody is sure what would have happened,” one source told Glenn at The Athletic. “You can always tell people their checks are going to be a little late, but how many are going to show up on the weekend for games when they don’t see anything hit their bank accounts on Friday?”

Isn’t this the first thing they teach you in business school? How to fund your business and keep the doors open? Thats like Day 1 stuff.

Look I am all for capitalism and people trying to make money and I really want the AAF to succeed, but without any big names like Tim Tebow playing, the only chance this league ever has of making it is if the NFL acquires it. The NFL would have to decide after over a decade of having no minor leagues (RIP NFL Europe) that they want to buy the AAF as a talent pipeline.

But I also find it hilarious that they’re almost going out of business in Week TWO after the peacocking about beating a regular season NBA game in the ratings on a random Saturday night and after Mattes faced the wrath of AAF Reddit (yes its a thing) for saying he wasn’t watching.

 

It’s a decent concept, but not exactly anything groundbreaking. I’d be curious to see the market specific TV ratings as it compares to competitors’ programming in the same time slots. Because not to sound like a complete arrogant dickhead, but we watch the New England Patriots up here. They have the greatest quarterback and the greatest coach of all time. So I’m not exactly fighting over the remote to watch Christian Hackenberg throwing ducks for 2 hours.

My point being, the smartest thing the AAF did was put these teams in cities where there isn’t established NFL competition. I know they’ve said they’re not competing with the NFL; they’re complimenting it. But even if they’re not competing with the NFL directly, they’re still competing for the attention of the NFL fan, which is why I’d be curious to see the TV ratings in those non-traditional football markets. Markets that are starved for the sport. It’d be like putting a Big 3 League residency in Seattle. There’s an appetite for it.

So while I wish the AAF all the best, aside from watching a few minutes of a game at the bar, this whole story doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. Not to mention they got Vince McMahon licking his chops with the XFL closer to kicking off every single day.

The Alliance of American Football is Apparently Coming This Spring, and I Couldn’t Care Less

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Raise your hand if you’ve heard of the Alliance of American Football league, which is set to kick off its inaugural season this spring…

Don’t worry; I will fully admit I had ZERO idea what the hell it was either.

Apparently, it will be an eight-team, ten-week spring league, which will begin play just one week after the Super Bowl in February. The league will feature a mix of former collegiate players AND still-able-bodied ex-NFL castoffs, which promises “high-quality professional football” for hungry fans during the offseason.

Each team will have a roster of 50 players, with each player getting a three-year, non-guaranteed, $250,000 contract loaded with incentives. As of right now, the championship game will be aired on CBS, with CBS Sports Network airing at least one game per week during the season. At least for now, it will consist of eight teams in the following cities: Atlanta, (GA); Birmingham (AL); Memphis (TN); Orlando (FL); Salt Lake City (UT); San Antonio (TX); San Diego (CA); and Tempe (AZ).

The league was founded by producer Charlie Ebersol – son of the legendary Dick Ebersol, who is also involved – and former Colts GM Bill Polian. OH, and former Steelers legends like Troy Polamalu and Hines Ward will also be involved, as well as former Giant Justin Tuck.

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As much as I absolutely despised his team growing up, I absolutely loved watching this man play. Good to know he’s still trying to do big things.

No seriously, guys. This is a REAL thing that’s coming.

But wait, Mattes, didn’t the XFL announce that it’s coming back in 2020? So we’re going to have two brand-new alleged “professional” football leagues competing against each other at the very same time out of freakin’ nowhere?

Yes, they did. And yes, we certainly are.

Why? I have absolutely no idea. And anyone who thinks either, or both, has even a remote chance of being successful is absolutely delusional.

First, there’s the fact that the players being selected are – sorry to say it – ones that people simply don’t want to watch; otherwise, they would have been drafted or stuck around on their NFL teams! Seriously, though, here’s a full look at the first round of guys who were drafted on Tuesday night in the league’s “Protect or Pick” QB draft:

  • San Diego Fleet: Josh Johnson (protected)
  • Atlanta Legends: Aaron Murray (protected)
  • Memphis Express: Troy Cook (protected)
  • San Antonio Commanders: Dustin Vaughan (protected)
  • Birmingham Iron: Luis Perez
  • Arizona Hotshots: Trevor Knight
  • Orlando Apollos: Garrett Gilbert
  • Salt Lake Stallions: Josh Woodrum

Besides the first two on the list, I could not even begin to tell you where any of the other six came from or what business they have playing in a “professional” football league. Perhaps even more insane is the fact that guys like Christian Hackenburg (former Jets second-round bust), Zach Mettenberger (started 10 games for the Titans from 2014-2015), and Scott Tolzien (former backup to Aaron Rodgers and 10-game-NFL starter) SOMEHOW went after the nobodies listed above.

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Scott Tolzien DID once pass for 339 yards in an NFL game five years ago. So watch out for Birmingham, folks!

I hate being Skeptical Stan, and I guess I applaud anyone for trying to bring more football to the table, but do we really need it? We already get professional football for pretty much 50 percent of the year anyway. Yes, it’s true: four preseason weeks, 17 regular-season weeks, and then another four weeks in the playoffs. That’s 25-out-of-52 weeks of the year. If you include offseason, draft, and training camp coverage, the NFL pretty much dominates the airwaves all year long. There’s simply no need for even one more pro football league, let alone two.

At least the XFL promises a different brand of football with more intense, fast-paced action and less focus on player safety (e.g. opening scrums instead of kickoffs; no touchbacks; bump-and-run coverage after five yards; no fair catch; etc.). I’m not saying that’s a good thing; I’m just saying that at least it offers something unique. It’s the same reason why the BIG3 basketball league – which ya boy wrote about months ago – has a chance to be successful as well; unlike the NBA, it offers fans a chance to watch a 3-on-3, backyard style of play that gives them a break from the hardwood action we’re used to seeing throughout the rest of the year.

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Vince McMahon may be a loud-mouthed buffoon, but he sure does know how to entertain.

The AAF will get rid of kickoffs entirely, and they will also be eliminating PATs, forcing teams to go for two every time. But, other than that, it seems as though it will just be a bunch of bad to mediocre guys playing a quicker game of football. The ONLY thing that may get me to watch is the fact that Starter – yes, THAT Starter – has agreed to a multi-year deal to be the league’s official jersey sponsor. (Any 90s kid who was anybody remembers those incredible, magical jackets, and it’s so awesome to know they might have a chance to make a comeback.)

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So effing fresh.

So please forgive me for being so negative – and I’ll eat a giant piece of crow pie if I’m wrong – but until I see something better than Aaron freakin’ Murray and Christian Couldn’t-Hack-It-Burg, I think I’m out on this one.

NOT SO FAST – Joey B’s XFL Dream Team: A Rebuttal

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So the XFL is back, it’s football re-envisioned, no thongs or concussions yadda yadda ok great.

As I told Dougie earlier the novelty has already worn off and it’s been two hours. HOWEVER, coming up with a dream team? Brotha, I’m your man. As a recovering draft nerd, I still dabble in discovering fringe pro players who may be looking for work. Here’s how my team would play out:

QB1: Dominique Davis

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Davis was a HUGE recruit for BC. A dual-threat QB, he failed at school in Chestnut Hill and then failed at football at East Carolina. I think he’d venture down from the CFL for the right opportunity.

 

Clipboard Holder: Brady Quinn

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The pride of Dublin, OH. He knows the game. He’s good looking. He likes being on TV. Done deal.

Emergency QB: JaMarcus Russell

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Someone has to throw the hail mary.

 

RB1: Peyton Hillis

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Over-muscled and ill tempered, Hillis once graced the cover of Madden. I have no doubt he’d jump at the opportunity to grace the bargain bin of Game Stop as the poster boy for XFL 20′.

RB2: Denard Robinson

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Shoelace himself. The fastest guy I’ve ever watched. a college QB turned RB. Great 3rd down guy, get the ball in his hands and let him fly. Or watch his shoes come off. Entertainment is the name of the XFL game.

 

FB: Glenn Gronkowski

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Sticking with Dougie’s pick here. You need a Gronk in the league.

 

WR1: Adarius Bowman

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My dream comes true. Adarius Bowman playing under the bright lights on US soil. Another CFL guy, Bowman was a draft crush of mine wayyy back when. He was a specimen (6’3 220ish) of a WR coming out of OK ST and then….well then he ran a 4.8 at the combine. No bueno. It’s comeback season baby.

WR2: Chad Jackson

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Ole Action Jackson. The first in a long line of Bill Belichick WR draft busts comes to seek his revenge.

WR3: Armanti Edwards

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The QB who led App St’s upset over Michigan actually showed enough promise to be drafted in the 3rd round by Carolina as a WR. He too, is now in Canada.

TE: Zak Sudfeld

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MINIIIII GROOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNKKK. The greatest preseason player ever comes back as the greatest XFL TE ever.

The XFL is Back! Lets Start Constructing Our Dream Team

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“What would you do if you could reimagine the game of football?”

Vince McMahon always has been and always will be the ultimate showman. Oh that ill conceived football league I launched in 2001 that only lasted one season? Well guess what, we’re doubling down and bringing it back! Vince said he’s here to “give the game of football back to fans.” What does that mean? Nobody knows! But it sure as shit fuels the hype machine.

Vince made the announcement on Twitter dot com because he’s savvy like that before taking questions from reporters. Highlights from the #XFL2020 press conference below:

  • 8 teams, 40 man rosters, 10 game regular season, and a 4 team postseason with a Championship Game
  • “In the XFL the quality of the human being is going to be as important as the quality of the player.”(Soo you can sit down now, Greg Hardy.)
  • “There will be no crossover whatsoever of talent from the WWE.” (Thank god. Somebody get Gus Johnson on the line STAT.)
  • “As far as our league is concerned it will have NOTHING to do with politics and nothing to do with social issues….whatever our rules are, are what everybody will abide by….we’re here to play football.” (Sounds like Vince was not a fan of the kneeling.)
  • “It will just be a better game than what people are accustomed to.” (Sure!)
  • “There may not be a half time, sitting and watching a 3-3 1/2 hour game is laborious…we’re going to try to get to 2 hours.” (Now we’re talking.)
  • “Not sure about the individual of the He Hate Me…whether or not we do that we’re going to listen to football experts and what the fans want.” (If you don’t allow nicknames on jerseys don’t even bother, Vince.)
  • The season will begin at the end of January/early February (Fill that crippling void post-Super Bowl.)

So Vince was super dodgy about giving any actual details on the league, why he’s bringing it back, what exactly will be different etc. but it seems like he’s going to be giving himself more time to actually get something quality in place. Rather than rushing it, the XFL will begin play in 2020, so thats a 2 year window for Vince to get it together. Vince referenced the quality of play as the No. 1 thing that was lacking the first time around so we’ll see if 2 years is enough time to get some decent talent together.

I’m sure plenty of details and rumors will flood in over the coming days. But for now, lets get to whats really important. Whats my starting lineup for my first game in the XFL? This is assuming nobody is going to leave the NFL unless they hate money, so we’re going to have to dig deeper with some castoffs or guys that may be on their way out of the NFL.

  • QB1: Tim Tebow
  • QB2: Vernon Adams
  • RB1: Reggie Bush
  • RB2: Toby Gerhart
  • FB: Glenn Gronkowski
  • WR1: Terrell Owens
  • WR2: Ocho Cinco
  • WR3: Wes Welker
  • TE: Tim Wright

I had Money Manziel and Adrian Peterson penciled into my starting lineup, but then Vince dropped this line:

“You want someone who does not have any criminality whatsoever associated with them. In the XFL even if you have a DUI you will not play in the XFL so that would probably eliminate some of them…If Tim Tebow wants to play, he could very well play.”

So that probably eliminates Manziel, Peterson and basically half the available players out there. We’ll go with my guy Tim Tebow instead because they will let him do whatever the hell he wants. The first coach since Urban Meyers that will be willing to build an offense around Tebow. But in case he doesn’t want to leave his cushy job at ESPN/hitting cleanup for the Mets, then we’ll smuggle former Oregon QB Vernon Adams out of the CFL and let him do his damn thing. I cannot imagine anyone other than a running QB will have any success in the XFL.

Running the ball we’ve got old school thunder and lighting with my man Reggie Bush, who should have no problem carving up the scrub DII linebackers he’ll be playing against, and Toby Gerhart backing him up because…well…hey man slim pickings for running backs not on an NFL roster these days. The Pats have 5 running backs for christ’s sake.

We got Baby Gronk at fullback because how are you going to have the XFL without a Gronkowski in it?

Who are my go-to receivers? Easy. The first two guys I’m calling are T.O. and Ocho Cinco because ya just know those guys are rearing to go and would probably play for minimum wage at this point. T.O can still play, he’s just insufferable so nobody wanted him on their team….in the NFL. Then we got old reliable Wes Welker working the slot. Unless Vince is afraid of someone getting diagnosed with CTE in the first week of the season then he might not get cleared to play.

Then we got that bum Tim Wright playing TE because he’s another athletic freak that just has not been able to make it work in the NFL so to the XFL for you, Tim.

I’m sure theres plenty of names that will become available, but with Vince throwing a wrench into everything with his morality clause we could be seeing a lot of CFL or college players roaming the field.

2020 is so close, yet so far away. The XFL is back baby!