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Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody.

Views from the 617.

Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.

BREAKING: Red Has Never Seen “Braveheart”

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What. In the actual. Fuck. I learned this ten minutes ago and am still astounded. How does this slip through the cracks. Even if a buddy or Dad/Uncle/Brother/Cousin never sits you down to watch it, “Braveheart” is internationally and ubiquitously revered and is on cable constantly.

Now I’ve seen a bunch of these revelations on Twitter, etc. recently and to be honest I don’t believe all of them. I’d say these admissions are 50% real and 50% for shock value. However, important to the story, is that Red is not a troll. Just doesn’t have it in him. When he is participating in any kind of sarcasm, it is laid on thick and generally with a generous amount of malice. It is also usually aimed at yours truly. So we should assume that our fearless leader has indeed never seen the 1994 classic starring and directed by top notch star and raging anti-semite Mel Gibson.

Not entirely sure where to go from here. I’ll probably just throw invites on his calendar for every Saturday afternoon until he finally breaks down and watches it. I just know that as we are driven towards the precipice of 30, time is running out to right this wrong.

 

-Joey B

P.S – Big Z, I need to speak with you.

Friday Afternoon Grab Bag

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I have ten minutes at work to kill so let’s go.

-I initially disagreed with Mattes’ blog about Dwayne Allen but then I really concentrated on exactly how much we are paying him and I am now enraged. What I texted him, and what I’ll share with you, is that you kind of have to compare his role on the team and contract to players of equals roles and their deals. My example was James Devlin, who lead blocks on just about every significant run play (I think I heard last week the Pats go with more 2 back sets than just about every other team) and now has added catching a key pass every now and again to his repertoire. He also makes a little more (in pro athlete terms) than a quarter of what Allen makes. Fuck that. Allen contributes significantly as a blocking tight end but not 4x of James Devlin significant.

-On the other hand, I respectfully disagree with the assessment of our pass rush. If you recall the hey day of the Pats dynasty, The D relied on a front seven that could hurry the hell out of a quarterback, forcing bad throws and picks (sup Ty Law and Asante Samuel) (No “sup” for you Ellis Hobbs III). We didn’t really fill up the stat sheet back then with sacks either. I think we are doing the same thing nowadays. Adrian Clayborn, for example, seems to be somewhere near the quarterback on a lot of significant pass plays. I’m fine where we’re at right now.

-I feel like there hasn’t been any press yet about “The Sisters Brothers”, a western that stars Gyllenhaal, C. Reilly, Phoenix, and Ahmed, among others. It looks like the shit.

-I’ve tried to get into “Big Mouth” the animated show by Nick Kroll and his childhood friend Andrew Goldberg about puberty and jerking off but just can’t. I guess it’s one of those litmus test shows like “Rick and Morty”, you either get it or you don’t.

-Khabib and Conor will both be suspended from the 15th to the 25th, when it will be decided if they will be suspended indefinitely pending an investigation. You can count on the indefinite suspension. Bob Bennett, the Commissioner of the NSAC is considered one of the more reasonable Commissioners and I don’t think he even can pass up an opportunity to show his power and self-importance. This could take awhile.

-Lewis vs. Cormier for the title at UFC 230 is the fight we deserve right now. I mean leeeet’s fuckin go. Should be a fun one. Sucks about Nate vs. Poirier though. I’d say the event itself nets out even. If both were still on, this would be a can’t-miss card.

-No word on the final fate of Zubair Tughukov, I’m thinking a suspension at this point.

-I know I’m forgetting something….

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-O YA, THE YANKEES SUUUUUUCKKKK HAHAHAHA. O boy. Poor trash bags from the 5 burroughs with nothing to be proud of anymore. If you are in the tri-state area next couple weeks bottle some tears for me. Go Sox, indeed.

 

There is Now an L.L. Bean Beer in Case You Thought Leaves and Road Rage Were the Most New England Things Ever

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Boston.com – In quite possibly the most New England beer collaboration ever, Maine-based retailer L.L. Bean has teamed up with five Maine breweries to create a limited-edition craft beer collection in celebration of its new collection of Small Batch Bean Boots.

This takes the cake. The quintessential “comfy but style-less” New England clothing company teaming up with a number of Maine CRAFT BEER companies. This is the most new England thing of all time. It makes you wonder who is coming for this throne. Maybe Cuffy’s will team up with Dunks? Mary Lou’s and the Black Dog? A heroin dealer and Reebok? This honestly could create a sort of apparel/refreshment collab turf war that no one saw coming.

Now I don’t pretend to be a craft beer expert but I was a bit ahead of the curve thanks to an older brother in-law that looks upon Bud Light as a sin of the flesh. I also have a few friends who are either in or have been in the craft beer business. So if you do make it up to South Canada to try one of these (unless they all are making the same thing) I’d go Mast Landing or Thresher. Both make a solid pop.

Cheers.

-Joey B.

Khabib Nurmagomedov Drops Incendiary Instagram Post Directed at the UFC

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View this post on Instagram

I would like to address @ufc Why didn't you fire anyone when their team attacked the bus and injured a couple of people? They could have killed someone there, why no one says anything about insulting my homeland, religion, nation, family? Why do you have to punish my team, when both teams fought. If you say that I started it, then I do not agree, I finished what he had started. In any case, punish me, @zubairatukhugov has nothing to do with that. If you think that I’ll keep silent then you are mistaken. You canceled Zubaira’s fight and you want to dismiss him just because he hit Conor. But don’t forget that it was Conor who had hit my another Brother FIRST, just check the video. if you decide to fire him, you should know that you’ll lose me too. We never give up on our brothers in Russia and I will go to the end for my Brother. If you still decide to fire him, don’t forget to send me my broken contract, otherwise I'll break it myself. And one more thing, you can keep my money that you are withholding. You are pretty busy with that, I hope it won’t get stuck in your throat. We have defended our honor and this is the most important thing. We intend to go to the end. #Brothers

A post shared by Khabib Nurmagomedov (@khabib_nurmagomedov) on

Holy. Mother. Fuck. Khabib Nurmagomedov is is reaaaaalllly not kidding around folks. While I sit here and try and wrap my head around the situation in order to write an even mildly coherent commentary, I think that it is important to note that this whole debacle is going to be impossible for the UFC to get right. There are just too many players, too many events, and too many questions to address.

For instance – what do you put more weight, on the past or the present? Yes, the entire melee involving Khabib and his team was wrong and a bad look for the sport. That much is undeniably true and it can’t go unpunished…..except for the fact that six months ago Conor McGregor got off scot-fucking-free, at least in terms of the Athletic Commission and the UFC, for throwing metal objects through bus windows, injuring two fighters, who had no involvement in any kind of beef with McGregor by the way, to the point where they could no longer compete and earn an income that weekend. So if you didn’t punish Conor for that, how can you really punish Khabib or his teammates for this when at least no foreign objects were used and no one was critically injured?

Image result for conor mcgregor bus attack

Next there is the fact that Conor McGregor came after Khabib’s religion, father, homeland, nationality (this is a long fucking lists), etc. Now to a lot of Americans, including my lapsed Catholic ass who doesn’t put a ton of weight on the fluid idea of the “nuclear family”, Conor engaged in the same over-the-top shit talking he always does. But it was just that to us, shit talking. We cannot comprehend what it means to a proud Dagestani Muslim from humble beginnings to hear his next opponent thrash the very fabric of his being like that. It just doesn’t compute in our brains. I guarantee you it has been overwhelmingly hard for Khabib to watch and hear Conor these past few months. If you think about it, he is absolutely stoic. Imagine the volcano bubbling inside of him in order to finally have him snap last Saturday?

One of the things that makes Khabib Nurmagomedov so intriguing is that he is a throw back. He fights to challenge himself. He fights for honor. He fights to prove he is the best. He fights to fight. Indeed it must be a mind-fuck, in the age of the money fights and the red panty nights, for the UFC to come up with a compromise with their champion, possibly the greatest lightweight ever (we don’t know that yet), when he states pretty clearly money does not matter to him here. They can choke on it, is what he pretty much says. It reminds me of Frank Costello’s remark about Billy Costigan’s Dad, “He never wanted money. You can’t do anything with a man like that.” Now, having finally arrived in the age of MMA fighters demanding to be paid, Khabib sees red over his teammates’ professional fate, not green from his greatest triumph.

Dana White is a stubborn man so I have no doubt Tukhugov is or will be cut. If I had to guess I’d say they’ll do what they did with Artem Lobov and just re-sign him somewhere soon down the line.  I actually don’t know if Lobov was ever even formally cut or not. I do know that many more members were added to Team Khabib last Saturday and that the UFC would be well suited to do all they can to keep that large, global team happy. I’m not saying don’t punish anyone, but keep in mind your past transgressions when it comes to these sorts of mishaps. Because now The Eagle has come home to roost.

-Joey B

QUICK P.S: This was not meant to be anti-Conor at all. Big Conor fan too. However Khabib’s current issue with the UFC has to be seen in the context of both his beef with McGregor and in McGregor’s past actions.

 

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Atmosphere-William Fichtner Open Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 5

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Welcome children to our weekly round up of self-degradation in the name of pride and maybe a couple hundred bucks.

I went to Atmosphere last night which was great. Red could not attend as he had a meeting in Buffalo with C-list actor and “Hey, it’s that guy!” HOFer William Fichtner. Why does this all matter? Well, the subject of this weeks transmission was going to be whether or not the staff here should assume control of Big Z’s team, a la the NBA with the Hornets, due to basic and categorical incompetence. I mean the guy has more disdain for the bench than John Kavanaugh GABOOOM.

Let’s start the show.

Mattes

Seriously, Amari Cooper??!! Two games this season with 10-plus catches and 115-plus yards (for both of which he was on my bench), and another three with two catches or less and under 20 yards (YUP, started him ALL THREE times). This man is single-handedly submarining my fantasy season. I’m now 1-4. I hate you, Amari Cooper.

Looking good in the other league at least, especially with Mark Ingram back in the fold. David Johnson finally woke up, too. Back above .500 at 3-2 and feeling fine.

Big Z (For the love of fucking God)

It was bad news good news for my roster in Week 5. The bad news was I sat 50 points on my bench. James Conner exploded for 34, Eric Ebron posted 26 and Russel Wilson scored 18 points. I finally went with Matt Ryan at QB and all it did was lose me points.

The good news was that I lost by 53 points. Losing by 53 with a roster full of holes sucks, but losing by 3 with an optimal lineup is infuriating. Destroy the remote control and immediately drive to Comcast to get a new one infuriating.

Blogger’s Note: Formal Inquiry launched. Red and I will depose Big Z via podcast later this week to determine his suitability.


Red

So I am on a goddamn roll winning 2 weeks in a row. One more and thats called a winning streak. I also won in both of my leagues, but special shoutout to Ryan Succop for getting me 15 points. I was actually at this Titans game in Buffalo and it was quite a thrill watching your guy kick four field goals in person. Even an average week from Succop and I lose, but his massive day put me over the top. The season is still alive.

Joey B

I squeakkkkked away with a win by about 8 points thanks to a monster game by James Connor and Rob Gronkowski getting some solid PPR. Dion Lewis laid a fucking egg thought and I have the Stafford-Tate connection as well as Michael Thomas sitting next week. So I’ll be 3-3 for anyone wondering.

Papa G

If you want an idea how I did this week at 12:30 pm Sunday I had these guys in opposite roster spots:

Somehow it didn’t even matter and I lost by 75.

The 300s Official UFC 229 Preview

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Here we are folks. The eve of the single most monumental, true, blue, “who is the best in the world who weighs this much” fight in MMA history. Members of the media, etc. have stated as much and I do indeed agree. Sure, there has been a puzzling absence of press and promotion for this fight, but like in days of yore, all that matters is that they will definitely deliver in the cage.

The main event of UFC 229, Khabib Nurmagomedov vs Conor McGregor, seems to have been written in the starts dating back years, when the rising, still slightly anonymous man from the Northern Caucasus seemed destined to steamroll his way to an eventual title shot. That shot, even back as far as 2015, would most like likely be against the brash Irishman who everyone wanted to be booked against – either for the pay day, the legacy, or both.

Both of our headliners, of course, face their first test today around noon when they meet “The Scale”. Although Nurmagomedov is the one with the history of weight issues, neither man enjoys the cut to 155lbs, which adds an additional layer of drama.

UFC 229 also serves up a helping of additional quality fights in all shapes and sizes – some divisionally-meaningful, some MMA nerd friendly, some of the “just bleed” variety. Therefore, after addressing the main event, I will very briefly touch on the rest of the main card plus one more to give this entire event it’s due and proper.

Shall we?

The Main Event – Khabib Nurmagomedov (c) vs. Conor McGregor

Lightweight (155lbs) Title Fight

Image result for khabib conor face offIn one hand of our main event we have Conor McGregor, the bombastic, charismatic, electric former two-division champion. Aside from his accolades inside the cage and in the PPV buys record books, he has single-handedly brought MMA further into mainstream consciousness than any of his predecessors combined.

On the other hand is Khabib Nurmagomedov, who is every bit what you’d think his former-USSR origins would beget – stoic, calculated, direct, and harboring a simmering inner fury that is simply terrifying.

Stylistically, thank the MMA Gods again, we have been blessed with a fight between polar opposites. McGregor is a dynamic, one of a kind striker. He is capable of throwing a powerful side kick, lightning fast spinning kicks, and speedy combos from a rhythmic, bouncing crouch. Alternatively, he can slither forward in his wide, southpaw stance, slipping everything on earth in anticipation of firing off his patented bolt stunner of a left hand. His grappling, although much maligned thanks to a submission to Nate Diaz to go with the pair he suffered pre-UFC, has steadily improved since the first Diaz fight and the wrestling clinic Chad Mendes put him through before that. It’s worth noting, of course, that the late-notice replacement Mendes tired down the stretch and got knocked out.

The Upside Down to McGregor’s Hawkins, Khabib Nurmagomedov is what has become known as a typical Dagestani wreslting machine, albeit the best of the bear wrestling best with a few additional tricks up his sleeve. On the feet, he is willing and able to change his approach based on his opponent, from the jab seminar he put Al Iaquinta through to the 1-2s he used against Michael Johnson. His knock of course is his straight back and forth footwork coupled with occasionally limited head movement. This is to say he gets hit, sometimes kind of a bit too much. All of this standing and trading of course is only done to set up the inevitable take down, which usually comes via a beautifully brutal double leg. It should be noted here that anywhere from the middle of the octagon to against the cage Nurmagomedov has an unlimited arsenal of throws and take downs, he just prefers the double. From there, “The Eagle” becomes arguably the best, and definitely the most physically dominant, top position fighter in MMA. He uses slick passes, heavy pressure, and shockingly repressive strength to get into position to begin reining merciless elbows, punches, and hammerfists down on his opponents. Also of note, if he gets a back or side position, he is an expert user of the wrist ride to confound and torque his opponents into a position where he can again begin pounding away or hit a submission such as the kimura he tapped Johnson with. It’s brutal folks. It made DII all-American Abel Trujillo, held prostrate on the ground, throw his hands up in frustration to the ref as if to say “is this even legal?”

So, striker or grappler? As with many of these I have to pick head vs. heart. My heart lies with Dagestan’s favorite son. I have to say, I fucking love Khabib. With that said, he indeed gets hit. And Conor knocks. People. The fuck. Out. So as much as I hope the opposite. I have go with the man from Erin.

The Pick: Conor McGregor wins via KO (Rd1). Becomes new UFC Lightweight Champion

 

Co-Main Event: Tony Ferguson vs. Anthony Pettis

Lightweight (155lb) Fight

This one, for me at least, is just a little sad to pick. Former division champ Pettis had an “I’m back” moment when he submitted Michael Chiesa in July, but as good as he looked in that fight his Achilles heel has always been that he shits the bed when he is being backed up. Although I kind of hate Tony Ferguson and his played out antics, he DRIVES forward. Ferguson is also a very good wrestler, something which Pettis also struggles with. There could be a silver lining here for Pettis, for as good of a grappler Ferguson is, “Showtime” has a knack for tapping out higher ranked/thought of mat men such as the aforementioned Chiesa as well as Benson Henderson. That said, that’s a little too much to wish for.

The Pick: Tony Ferguson wins via Submission (Brabo Choke) – (Rd2)

Dominick Reyes vs. Ovince St. Preux

Light-Heavyweight (205lb) Fight

This one will get mighty interesting if it gets to the ground, what with OSP loving to Von Flue Choke people for some bizarre reason and everything. With that said, OSP is a sneaky-slow starter on the feet. Although he throws early and often, I find it to be without a lot of commitment. I think Reyes mauls him after some feeling out.

The Pick: Dominick Reyes wins via KO (RD2)

Alexander Volkov vs. Derrick Lewis

Heavyweight (265lb) Fight

Someone is most likely losing consciousness in this one. Volkov is 5-0 since joining the UFC including 2 KOs in his last 2 fights. Lewis is two for his last two but has looked sluggish and sort of uninterested. Turns out his back has been completely fucked and he hasn’t up to this point ever…really…trained? Throw that all in a pot and stir it up and I think the towering Volkov get’s a bit cocky here.

The Pick – Derrick Lewis wins via KO (RD1)

 

Michelle Waterson vs. Felice Herrig

Strawweight (115lb) Fight

Here we have a pivotal match-up in the Women’s Strawweight Division. Both fighters are top-115lbers but a few wins away from a title shot. Herrig is coming off a loss after four wins, Waterson a win after two losses. Although Herrig probably has the edge on the ground due to both skill and size over the natural atomweight Waterson, both prefer to stand and trade.  This is honestly a complete toss up so I’m going to just stop typing and pick.

The Pick: Michelle Waters wins via split decision.

As I mentioned, one more for the hell of it?

Jussier “Formiga” da Silva vs. Sergio Pettis

Flyweight (125lb) Fight

This could honestly be a Flyweight #1 Contender’s fight if Henry Cejudo didn’t have plans to fight T.J Dillashaw, possibly even for that very 125lb belt, next. Anyway, here we have the perennial (although finally arrived) young gun, if there is such a thing, vs. the World’s premier back taker. You know what? I’ll stop there.

The Pick: “Formiga” wins via submission (Rd2)

So that’s it folks. My fingers are bleeding and I’m emotionally exhausted and the Goddamn fights are a whole day away. Therefore, I don’t have much of a sign-off in me. My recommendation: take a minute for yourself over the next 36 hours. Take some deep breaths. Really come to understand what we are about to witness. It’s a historical event. Here. We. Go.

-Joey B

Julian Edelman Officially Added to the Patriots Active 53 Man Roster

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Heeeeee’s baAAAck ladies and gentleman. The Option QB From Kent State. The 2nd Most Handsome Patriot. The #11 that goes next to #12. One Nibble Everyone Knows The Law. Julian Edelman himself has officially been activated to the Patriots 53-man roster. This is obviously huge for the team and specifically important for I would say for four different reasons.

1.) First and foremost we have to address what this means for Tom Brady. Arguably his most trusted target is back in the lineup which will make Brady feel that much more comfortable. And a comfortable Brady is it dangerous Brady.

2.) The Patriots offense finally broke out last week in a big way. Now imagine that + Edelman in the mix. Imagine Brady’s new buddy Dorsett last week but with less eyes on him? Remember what Chris Hogan could do downfield and in the seam when someone was distracting defenders over the middle? It is a fun thing to ponder indeed.

3.) I didn’t buy too much into this but if what Gronk’s brother said was true and Gronk was unhappy with the lack of weapons in the Patriots offense then he’ll be a lot happier now. In general Gronk’s body language hasn’t been great the last few weeks so having another weapon in the offense, and a fun-loving one at that, should be a huge boost for the best tight end in the league.

4.) Finally we get to Edelman himself. Because really unless we completely blow the rest of the season the NFL kind of did him and us a favor. Edelman has always been a bit injury-prone and, at 32, isn’t getting any younger for a wide receiver of his size. So basically, the NFL gave him an extra 4 weeks to relax, recover from his ACL injury and any other bumps and bruises, and return to the Pat’s 110% ready to kick ass. Not a bad deal for #11 or for a 2-2 team on the rise.

What just dawned me is this really is where the season begins. Starting tonight against the Colts, Edelman’s first game back, we get to see what is the fully loaded and staffed Patriots of the 18′-19′ season. Like most of the last 20 years, I like our chances.

 

-Joey B

 

 

The Bruins Got Smoked Last Night But Marchand Beat The Bag Out of Someone

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Boston.com – ...the Stanley Cup champion Washington Capitals opened their title defense with a 7-0 thrashing of the Boston Bruins on Wednesday night.

After watching the franchise’s first Stanley Cup banner ascend to the rafters, T.J. Oshie opened the scoring just 24 seconds in, and Evgeny Kuznetsov scored the first of his two goals 1 1/2 minutes later to get the rout off to a fast start


Optimistic Joey B here with the first Bruins take of the year. I’m not going to sugar coat things too much. Getting shellacked 7-0 including 2 goals in the first minute of the fucking game is not a great look. To the defending champs, in my opinion, is an even worse one. This is the preeminent team to beat in the National Hockey League and we get blanked. Hopefully this is just a “wake the fuck up” game and the B’s can get their engines revved moving forward. Last note before I move on: I didn’t see much of it so I don’t know how many goals against Zdeno Chara’s corpse was on the ice for but let’s hope this can’t be easily pinned on him or there will be calls for his head pretty soon. (Editor’s Note: That is a strong to quite strong take on the 7 footer.)

To the positives and my headline, Brad Marchand beat the shit out of someone. Now, you can view this is kind of like when the season starts in baseball and a player strikes out four times but you are able to say, objectively, they had “good at bats”. Took some good cuts. Didn’t chase a couple you might have expected them to. Made the pitcher work. So, although we did indeed get big brothered by the defending champs, at least we had Noseface doing Noseface things and bloodying some guy up. It’s a reason to stay optimistic and a sign good things lay ahead for our squad.

Not all hope is lost my friends. Boston has kept the Bruins, so Bruins will keep Boston.

-Joey B.

P.S: Deadspin’s headline was something like “Brad Marchand Is Back To Being a Prick” and it made me SQUEAL with joy. Sorry for partying, Deadspin.

The 300s Bloggers “Earl Thomas Was Right” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 4

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O hey there. So we are officially a quarter of the way through the 2018-2019 football season and with that, we are really beginning to see what our fantasy football teams are made of. We are also beginning to see what the waver wire is made of as more and more players go down, forcing owners to try and convince themselves that Senorise Perry is about to have a breakout week. But as we prepare for the return of Julian Edelman, let’s check in with the your favorite amateur typists to see how their fantasy squads did this week.

Joey B

I got fucking washed. Other than the Stafford-Tate connection no one showed up, least of all a certain #87. I even experienced the rare goose egg courtesy of Sammy Watkins last night. Definitely looking forward to rebounding next week when I get Devin Funchess back and slot Cameron Brate (O.J Howard is hurt) in for Gronk.


Red

Finally got a W on the books and it literally took until the final drive of the Monday night game. Demaryius Thomas was really earning his keep as my 5th round pick mustering up 3 points with a little over 2 mins left in the game. Keep in mind that during all this I am down by ONE POINT in my head to head matchup. Less than 2 minutes to go and Patrick Mahomes put the Chiefs ahead so Denver is forced to throw the ball. Thank Christ. With 1:39 to go Case Keenum immediately takes a sack. Good start. I am screaming at my TV at this point. The very next play Keenum completes a 9 yard hitch route to Thomas to nab me the ONE POINT I needed to seal the deal. Fantasy football is legitimately taking years off of my life.

Oh and my TE Tyler Eifert broke his ankle. 


Big Z

I don’t know what’s more remarkable, the points I leave on my bench each week or the fact that I’m still winning in spite of my poor coaching decisions. Either way, I won my Week 4 match up 108-76, and at 3-1 am currently sitting in the 3rd place in my ten-team league. Maybe it’s my “defense.” I’m seventh in points, but have “allowed” the fewest points in the league.

Brandon Cooks and George Kittle really saved my bacon in Week 4 with 24 points each. Russell Wilson was a disappointment with just 7 points, and I’ll finally be giving him the hook in Week 5. Time for some Matty Ice, baby! Oh, and did I mention that my opponent played the Cleveland defense?

Mattes:

S-O-Fucking-S! The Purple Cobras are currently in the midst of their worst season ever, sitting at 1-3 and dead last in the league in points by a cool 30. After getting a combined 11.48 points from Russell Wilson, Jordan Howard, and O.J. Howard, I had absolutely no shot, but my opponent made sure to put up almost 160 on me anway. (OH, and Amari Cooper had another phenomenal game on my bench.) Maybe it’s time for Baker Mayfield to come in and right the ship?

Fell down to .500 in my other league, sitting at 2-2. The week started off blazing hot with Kirk Cousins, but then Michael Thomas also decided to forget how to play football this week. Getting two points out of my FLEX and leaving 17 points on the bench from Sony Michel – the guy who I was originally going to play in my FLEX – didn’t help either, especially when you lose by only seven points. Still right in the thick of it all, though, so I’m not sweating it.

Early Morning Grab Bag – October 2nd, 2018

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Note: I kind of enjoyed doing this last time so I am going to try and mix in one a week. Maybe I’ll get a regular day going at some point but not really possible with my schedule right now

–The Patriots did in fact play very well Sunday. I am still not ready to anoint them as Super Bowl contenders again though, yet. There is that something just missing. I guess I just don’t see us cruising to February by dumping the ball to James White and hoping rookie CBs continue lose Cordarrelle Patterson, maybe the worst route runner in football, in the maelstrom of an 11-on-11 football game. Add that to the fact that Gronk has been just less Gronk-like and I don’t know, I’m still worried. The D did look a lot better though and I think that group will continue to improve as weeks go on. But to end back on Offense, next week is the return of the Prince, the Boss….

Image result for julian edelman

 

-Soooo this just popped up:

Whaaaaaat do you know. The guy who signed the MASSIVE extension suddenly just isn’t happy to be in New York. No one, and I mean NO ONE saw this one coming. Truly remarkable. Honestly though I can’t even imagine who has the cap space and that much of a need to bring him aboard. Seattle maybe? I really don’t know? More to come I suppose.

–Khabib vs. Conor is this Saturday which is crazy considering, again, the lack of overall press. They will do, as is customary, another press conference this Thursday, a little over 48 hours before they fight. Huge controversy in The 300s back-channels arose when it was discovered that despite massive hat sales Red would not be flying me out there credentialed. Kind of a missed opportunity but it’s fine. I’ll have my full UFC 229 write up posted sometime Thursday.

–Tom Hardy’s “Venom” movie is coming out, or came out, or something. This is the most perplexing movie pickle I’ve ever been in. I’m just not a comic book movie guy. I’ve explained off-blog but while I am not going to hate on them, they just don’t do it for me. On the other hand, I fucking love Tom Hardy, so what do I do? Add to it the fact that he is kind of a weirdo and could quit at any moment and I probably will end up at least On Demanding it at some point.

(This kills me every time)

Image result for tom hardy the look you give when your phone is plugged in across the room

–To stick with movies, the first trailer got released of Taron Egerton (Eggsy from the “Kingsman” franchise) playing and singing as Elton John. This one should actually be really cool, I thought this kid would have blown up long before this.

–In TV, both “Shameless” Season 9 and “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” Season 13 have DESTROYED so far so get on that if you haven’t yet. While the former may be tough to just dive into, I think anyone with a brain could catch a random episode of “Sunny” and still have a good time. It’s honestly a timeless show.

–The first episode for this season of “South Park” also aired and…my Lord. (It was very funny).

–Watch Bill Burr’s “F Is For Family” finally and thank me later.

–Lindsay Lohan thought (see: jumped to an outraaageous conclusion based off of literally nothing) that a couple of refugee kids (in Russia I think?) walking with their Mom were actually being kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking and tried to save them or something. The Mom promptly punched her directly in the face. You should probably find the video, it’s wild. Girl is off the reservation. What’s more she is speaking in I think at times both Russian and Arabic as well as English in a Russian accent. This is very soon after she was asked why on earth she was speaking with an Irish accent. On Wednesdays we wear straight jackets.

–To end with some more #sports, Le’veon Bell has annouced he’ll report for Week 7, which is two weeks from now. This is just after he said “sure won’t” upon seeing fellow hold out Earl Thomas risk playing and probably end his career on account of breaking his leg in a game. I’m not sure what Bell’s play is here apart from the Steelers possibly telling him that another team is making an offer but wants him to show up first to make sure he’s committed to football in some capacity.
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Welp, that’s it for me for now. I’ll be back this afternoon for the fantasy football round up but other than that I got nothing apart from trying to not get fired for the next two working days while I spend all my time on the UFC229 write up. Ts and Ps for your boy.

Oh, also, apart from the night of said fisticuffs, I’ll be participating in Sober October this year. 99% 100% of my friends are booze bags so if you have any suggestions of what in the fuck I should doing for the next ~30 days please let me know. Please?