Category: Boston

Dustin Pedroia Announces His Retirement

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NESN – Dustin Pedroia is calling it a career. The Boston Red Sox second baseman announced his retirement from Major League Baseball on Monday. Pedroia, who dealt with knee injuries over the latter part of his career, played in just nine games over the last three seasons. He did not play in 2020.

“Dustin is so much more than his American League Most Valuable Player award, his All-Star Game selections, and the Gold Gloves he amassed throughout his impressive 17-year career in our organization,” Red Sox owner John Henry said in a press release.

“Dustin came to represent the kind of grit, passion, and competitive drive that resonates with baseball fans everywhere and especially with Red Sox fans. He played the game he loves in service to our club, its principles and in pursuit of championships. Most of all we are forever grateful to him for what he brought to our club and to our region as an important role model showing all of us how much one can accomplish with determination and hard work.”

We all knew this day was coming and is something that had been discussed more openly in the last couple of years as Pedroia battled debilitating knee injuries. Once I heard Jerry Remy during a game tell the story of Pedroia asking him what kind of flooring he had in his house because the hardwood was killing his knees I knew his playing days were likely over. He is one of the greatest players in Red Sox history and will almost certainly have his number 15 retired as a 4x All-Star, 4x Gold Glove winner, 1x Silver Slugger, Defensive Player of the Year, Rookie of the Year, an MVP award, and three World Series rings.

As a career .299 career hitter with all the aforementioned hardware, Pedroia’s retirement is bittersweet because it’s another Nomar “what could’ve been” story. Like Nomar a decade before him, if Pedroia didn’t get hurt and have his career derailed by constant injuries he could’ve been a legitimate Hall of Famer. If you ask me I will forever say fuck Manny Machado for the dirty slide that basically ended Pedroia’s career, but Pedey has never (publicly) faulted Machado and has even been quite open about how he’d rather play his ass off and risk his body than half ass it just to add a few years to his career.

It all started with the Machado dirtbag slide in Pedroia’s already surgically repaired left knee in April 2017, but there was also the Jose Abreu collision in May 2017 that sent him to the DL, when he went back on the DL in August 2017 I was spooked, then he had another knee surgery in October 2017, he returned in 2018 but was back on the DL by June, in July 2018 we asked Is This the End for Dustin Pedroia, he then returned for Opening Day in 2019, and then by September 2019 it was pretty clear Pedroia was done.

But I don’t want you to leave this blog pissed off lamenting the past because I want to celebrate not only his greatness on the field, but how genuinely awesome a dude Dustin Pedroia is so here are a few of my favorite stories.

The Brady Quinn Ping Pong Story

“Yeah, he’s one of a kind,” Roberts says. “He and I work out at the same place in Arizona in the off-season, and I’ve seen him call out NFL players during Ping-Pong games, asking them when they’re starting Jenny Craig. He told Brady Quinn, who is a monster, a physical specimen, ‘I’m going to rip this ball right off your throat.’ He’s a piece of work.”

“Ask Jeff Fucking Francis who I am!”

But clearly he is a player that is not only beloved by fans, but he is revered by teammates including the all-time greats like Big Papi.

And in a statement from former Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon comes a quote that I may just have to slap on a t-shirt: “Diamonds are forever and so is Dustin Pedroia.”

Above all Dustin Pedroia was a hilarious, hard working, regular ass dude which is why he was beloved in the city of Boston. In a career full of A+ soundbites, I leave you with just a few of his classic stories.

The Patriots Have No Shot at Deshaun Watson. I’d Still Trade Everything But the Kitchen Sink For Him

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In what has been the absolutely worst kept secret, Deshaun Watson and the Texans appear to be done as the Pro Bowl QB has officially requested a trade. I mean what did the Texans expect? They continuously bungled personnel and front office decisions and then tell their best player they’ll include him in decisions such as the hiring of the next GM. And then they hire Nick Caserio, who despite the past interest between both sides is someone who wasn’t actually on the list of the candidates their highly publicized search committee put together. Even worse, the move came at the behest of Petyr Baelish AKA Jack Easterby himself. I wrote about how bad things had gotten with Easterby in the fold last month and then Sports Illustrated wrote their second hit piece in just over a month absolutely demolishing the guy. Then the team tells Watson they’ll include him in the process of hiring the next head coach. And they completely ignore Watson’s request to interview Chiefs innovative Offensive Coordinator Eric Bieniemy, only interviewing him after it came out how pissed the QB was. A terrible look. So last night the Texans hire 65-year-old David Culley who’s never been an Offensive Coordinator in the NFL. Then this morning Schefty was promptly announcing Watson’s trade request to make it all official.

Deshaun Watson at this point:

So Watson is going to get traded it’s just a matter of where and how much will it cost. Trading for a 3x Pro Bowl QB who is coming off an MVP caliber season and is still just 25-years-old is going to get EXPENSIVE.

But would you rather the Patriots try and find their next QB in the draft? With the departure of Caserio, who was Belichick’s right hand man in football ops and scouting for the last several years, I am even less confident in the Patriots finding elite talent. Now in the next breath it must be addressed that Caserio did in fact go to run the show in Houston where he is seemingly going to have to trade the best QB in franchise history as his first move. So does that familiarity between the two sides work in their favor or does it immediately kneecap the Patriots’ chances because Caserio doesn’t want to look like he’s doing his old boss a favor?

Another aspect to consider is Watson has a full no-trade clause, which is pretty rare in the NFL, so it will require not only making the trade but convincing the player too. This ain’t three years ago. New England isn’t exactly an enticing place for a player to join these days. With no tight ends to speak of and a receiver core that ranges from undrafted overachiever to first round bust, why would Deshaun want to come here? It’s basically the same situation he’s currently in.

Except the coach and the owner.

That’s their only shot. After years in the clown show that is Houston, he could come in and play for the best coach in the history of the game. Maybe, as was mentioned in that same SI article, Watson really, genuinely longs for a winning culture like he had back in Clemson. Well if that’s true, there is no better place than New England. Just a couple of years removed from their last Super Bowl win and actively looking for the next young guy to take the mantle of the most successful team in NFL history, with a Hall of Fame coach, and a well respected and beloved owner. That could be enticing to Deshaun Watson.

Now of course this all assumes the Jets, the Dolphins, or even the Jaguars don’t value Watson as much as I do and bow out of throwing a bunch of first rounders at Houston. Because the offers those teams can make would blow the Pats out of the water. Granted the Patriots are sitting at No. 15 and are unlikely to have any (according to draft “experts”) elite franchise QBs fall to them so I’m more than willing to trade that pick. But if you’re the Patriots you just got punched in the head with the reminder that if you don’t have an elite QB you are cooked right out of the gate. After 20 years of consistent play from a first ballot Hall of Famer under center it’s easy to forget that not every team has been so fortunate. So if you’re Belichick you should be calling the Texans right now telling them pick what you want and send over the paper work. Whether that’s 3 or even 4 first rounders I’m doing that 100% of the time. A franchise QB is just that valuable and yes the Pats need to fill some holes around the player, but thats something you worry about after bringing him in. With a ton of cap space to work with they could find a Tight End and a Receiver to fill things out alongside Watson pretty quick.

Realistically there’s not really any chance of landing Deshaun Watson so I’m just kind of daydreaming right now, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’d trade everything but the kitchen sink for him. Hell, throw that in there too.

Bill Burr Dunks On Star Wars Nerds Complaining About His Boston Accent in The Mandalorian

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Bill Burr just effortlessly dunking on the nerds yet again. I guess this just speaks to living in one place for so long because to be honest I didn’t even notice his Boston accent in The Mandalorian. Burr has, what is in my experience, a pretty typical, understated yet distinct Boston accent despite living in LA for so many years.

Burr is right though, Star Wars nerds are fine with C-3PO sounding like he’s been knighted or even the fact that in a galaxy far far away the dominant language is the same exact one as yours, but as soon as Billy Red Face starts dropping his R’s we got a problem. It’s not like he was committing the cardinal sin of unironically playing up his accent, which is something akin to treason in Boston.

All jokes aside, Bill Burr is a sneaky really good actor. He’s done bits in the past about how he used to only get the goofy friend role in rom coms because nobody was casting a leading man with bright red hair. He crushed it on Chappelle’s Show back in the day and had some funny roles over the years (i.e. The Heat), but when he showed up in a serious role as Kuby in Breaking Bad I think a lot of people, myself included, took a step back and said oh shit Billy can act.

Now he’s got a recurring guest spot on one of the biggest shows around and I say this without an ounce of sarcasm, I would watch an entire spin off series starring Mayfeld just dicking around the galaxy. Make it happen, Favreau.

The 300s Top 10 Blogs of 2020

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2020 was a weird year to say the least. Remember when we literally had no sports to watch except for Korean baseball at 5 AM? Thankfully the sports leagues figured it out as some simply removed fans and resumed play as normal like the PGA Tour whereas others created full on bubbles like the NBA and NHL. We also had some tasty pop culture blogs sprinkled in throughout the quarantine so buckle up you’re in for a treat. Without further ado, I present The 300s Top 10 Blogs of 2020.

10.) Must Watch SNL Skit: Pete Davidson Raps a “Stan” Remix for Santa Clause

9.) Blog Favorite Comedian Daniel Sloss is Doing a Live “Day Drink With Dan” This Saturday and It’s Exactly What It Sounds Like

8.) Billy Beane is Reportedly Finally Coming to Work at Fenway…to Build John Henry’s Soccer Empire

7.) The XFL is Recruiting a Massive Free Agent: Guy Fieri

6.) A List of the Top Tom Brady Documentaries, Cameos, and Skits to Watch While Self Quarantining

5.) Dale Arnold Just Got Bagged Dressing Like a Mannequin On Live TV

4.) The Bruins Drunken Zoom Call With the 2011 Team is the Quarantine Content We All Needed

3.) Celtics Top Pick Aaron Nesmith and His Vanderbilt Track Star Girlfriend Immediately Become Most Athletic Couple in Boston

2.) Joe Kelly Picked His Top 5 Teammates for a Fight Club. Who Ya Got?

1.) Celtics Fail to Close Out the Raptors and the Refs as They Force a Game 7

Zdeno Chara is Leaving the Bruins, But He’ll Always Be a Boston Legend

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NBCSports Boston – In a stunner on Wednesday afternoon, Zdeno Chara signed a one-year, $795,000 deal with the Washington Capitals. “We are extremely pleased to have Zdeno join the Capitals organization,” said Capitals GM Brian MacLellan. “We feel his experience and leadership will strengthen our blueline and our team.”

Originally reported by Ken Campbell, Chara confirmed the move with a tribute video to Boston fans on his Instagram page.

“My family and I have been so fortunate to call the great city of Boston our home for over 14 years,” his caption reads. “Recently, the Boston Bruins have informed me that they plan to move forward with their many younger and talented players and I respect their decision. Unfortunately, my time as the proud captain of the Bruins has come to an end.”

Zdeno Chara is carved into the Mount Rushmore of Boston Athletes in the 21st Century right alongside Tom Brady, David Ortiz, and Paul Pierce. Chara will be forever beloved by Bruins fans because he chose to come here when he was at the top of his game and the B’s were coming off a last place finish. I still vividly remember sitting in my buddy’s living room that July day in 2006 when Chara (and Marc Savard) signed a massive 5-year contract to come to Boston, which was something the Bruins never did when I was younger. So it was monumental for a guy like Chara to even sign with the team, let alone become a franchise legend, a 14-year-captain, and of course bring the Bruins their first Stanley Cup in 30+ seasons. Not to mention anchoring the defense to two more Stanley Cup Finals appearances.

Chara was an elite defenseman, played the powerplay and the penalty kill, was a captain for over a decade, had the most terrifying slap shot in the league, and he was a physical force. Hell the Canadiens legitimately tried to have him arrested up in Canada for nearly decapitating Max Pacioretty back in 2011. He was also the most intimidating enforcer in the NHL well into his forties with 30 fights in his Bruins career alone.

Chara will be remembered for a lot of things, primarily this iconic photo with the Cup.

He’ll be remembered for his dominance on the ice as one of the best defensemen in the NHL (3x First Team All-Star, 4x Second Team) and then while in Boston becoming the best in the league when he won the Norris Trophy in 2009. Chara will always be the center of some hardcore Boston sports bar trivia too as the owner of the hardest shot in the entire league at 108.8 mph.

Aside from all of the personal accolades and team success though, it was the absolute grit and determination of Big Z that made him a fan favorite. He was always the hardest working guy wearing the spoked B and was routinely setting the bar during the Bruins annual conditioning tests even as he was the oldest player on the team.

The one sight I’ll never forget and one that will be played in his Hall of Fame reel is the ovation Zdeno Chara, with his jaw wired shut, received before Game 5 of the 2019 Stanley Cup Finals, less than two days after breaking his jaw. Chara took a puck to the face in Game 4 and needed surgery to insert metal plates into his jaw and he didn’t even miss a game.

It seemed like the writing was on the wall for Chara this offseason unfortunately, as the Bruins appeared ready to move on after his playing time had started to dwindle. With a bunch of young defensemen the Bruins want to develop or at least evaluate at the NHL level, the team was likely less concerned about the money they’d have to pay Chara and more concerned with kickstarting a youth movement. The Bruins may have also wanted to avoid the optics of having their captain playing 3rd or 4th line minutes assuming Don Sweeney and Cam Neeley didn’t want to stick Chara out there as a Top-4 defenseman at this point in his career.

This is the worst part of getting older as a sports fan; watching your idols get older with you. They get older, sometimes they break down physically, sometimes they move on to other teams, and eventually they all retire. I’m over 30 so Chara has been a pillar of the Bruins for nearly half of my life, which is insane to type. He may not have won as many championships as Tom Brady or Big Papi, but he was just as monumental in changing the culture of an entire franchise and putting yet another Boston team on the map after years of mediocrity.

For that Big Z will always be remembered as a Bruins legend.

Jayson Tatum Has an A++ Nickname for Rookie Payton Pritchard

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Jayson Tatum has already blessed Payton Pritchard with the honor of an official nickname and we’re only four games into the season. Is 8 Mile the most original nickname for a white boy playing ball? No, not really. But Pritchard does have the dark high fade buzz cut so he actually looks pretty similar to B-Rabbit.

Finkle is Einhorn, Einhorn is Finkle!

Plus if the nickname sticks then it’s definitely a future t-shirt we’ll cook up in the lab. More than anything though it gives me an excuse to post the 8 Mile rap battles every time Pritchard has a big game. Again it’s only been 4 games, but it’s looking like Danny may have hit on something here with the rookie PG out of Oregon (8.3 PPG in 22 MPG) so you may be seeing a lot of 8 Mile rap battle videos this season. 3-1-3!

Kyrie Irving Was Acting Like an Insufferable Asshole Once Again Before the Nets Celtics Game

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Is Kyrie gonna read some horoscopes and tarot cards like your earthy crunchy ex-girlfriend after the game too?

I understand this probably comes off as sour grapes to anyone that hasn’t had to listen to Kyrie’s bizarre press conferences and media appearances on a daily basis (buckle up Nets fans), but I swear the Celtics dodged a bullet when this guy decided to skip town. I’m not a very religious or spiritual person so I’m not here to dump on anyone’s beliefs, but seriously what in the hell is Kyrie doing here? He is legit every girl I went to school with that uses crystals and what position the moon is in to guide their life decisions.

If there’s one thing I give credit for it’s for just not giving a shit how out to lunch you appear to be to just about everyone because this little act came just hours after Charles Barkley roasted Kyrie for his media act.

This Masshole is All of Us Every Winter in Boston

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This guy is me. This guy is you. This Masshole is all of us who complain every single year when temperatures drop, winter arrives, and snow piles up.

Yet we never even think about moving.

Jayson Tatum Ranked No. 11 On ESPN Top 100 NBA Players List

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Jayson Tatum was recently named the No. 11 player in the NBA according to ESPN (so it’s a good thing we have a fire flames JT t-shirt you can buy) with three of his teammates also landing in the Top 50. Jaylen Brown was ranked No. 32, Marcus Smart No. 37, and Kemba Walker No. 48 to round out the list.

I would expect Kemba to be ranked higher, buttt he did deal with a knee injury before returning to the bubble last season and looking less than 100% and now he’s out until at least January so I’m sure that knocked him down this list a bit.

Jayson Tatum was ranked No. 35 by ESPN before the start of last season so it’s a substantial leap for the young forward prior to his fourth NBA season. It’s not like Danny offering the deal was ever in question, but all this talk of Tatum knocking on the door of becoming a Top 10 player in the NBA makes his recent 5-year $195 million max extension look even better.

Tatum also came in at No. 2 on Complex’s Top 24 Players 24 and Under list (Jaylen Brown was No. 12) behind only Luka Doncic. Here’s what Complex had to say about Tatum, which has me looking like the Three Eyed Raven (or an overly optimistic Celtics fan).

“We all thought Tatum would be pretty good coming out of Duke when the Celtics made him the third pick in the 2017 NBA Draft because Danny Ainge usually knows what he’s doing up in Boston. But if you saw Tatum elevating his game to All-NBA status in three short seasons you need to play the lottery because Tatum really burst onto the scene last season. “

Roll the tape from Dec. 18th, 2017:

I don’t think it was a stretch to assume the No. 3 overall pick was going to become a very good player, but not many people expected such a meteoric rise for Jayson Tatum. I know they lost the series and there’s no moral victories in sports, but Jayson Tatum ended his rookie season by dunking over LeBron James in the Eastern Conference Finals.

If that didn’t tip people off to greatness bubbling under the surface then you just weren’t paying attention.

Depending on where you fall on the blind optimism meter, Danny Ainge is either a so-so GM whose won just one title in nearly 20 years on the job and is a terrible drafter OR he’s a master chess player that turned a bunch of scrubs and Al Jefferson into Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, and a Larry O’Brien Trophy and THEN turned those guys in their late 30s into Jayson Tatum, Jaylen Brown, Marcus Smart (and Kyrie Irving). I fall somewhere in the middle because Danny obviously orchestrated the Brooklyn trade and has nailed his picks when the Celtics get that high up in the draft. BUT he has also had some horrific misses like trading up to draft Kelly Olynyk over Giannis Antetokounmpo as well as some really bad draft picks like Guerschon Yabusele, RJ Hunter, James Young, Fab Melo etc.

As we all know Danny has borderline fetishized acquiring assets and stockpiling draft picks, so much so that he often hurt his own leverage because teams knew he couldn’t actually use all the picks he had. Thats how you build the best G-League team in the entire NBA! But seriously, this led to years like 2016 when Danny drafted 6 players + two more guys that he traded away. So my point is, over the years I have seen A LOT of Danny’s crappy draft picks playing meaningful minutes for the Celtics and none of them ever had the potential that Jayson Tatum had on Day 1. Again, obviously he was the No. 3 overall pick so he should have great potential, but even Jaylen Brown was a No. 3 overall pick and for the first few years of his career he was looked at as a jack of all trades, athletic, defensive specialist type player. Marcus Smart was the No. 6 overall pick and is the heart and soul of the team, but I still cringe when he pulls up for a 3 in a big spot. Tatum though, from Day 1 you could see they had something special, and he’s only gotten better ever year.

He’s improved in just about every statistical area significantly including Points, Rebounds, Assists, Steals, and Blocks per game. Even the nerds love him as Tatum’s advanced analytics have improved substantially from Year 1 to Year 3 including his PER (Player Efficiency Rating) and his VORP (Value Over Replacement Player). Thats the full package, folks.

Tatum is now signed through 2026, which means the Celtics are married to him and are quite frankly dependent on him turning into a Top 5 player if they have any hope of winning their first title since 2008. Top tier free agents never have and never will make Boston a destination so the Celtics are all in on Jayson Tatum being that piece. The way things are looking now, so far so good.

So grab your JT shirts before the new season kicks off!

Man Wearing a Red Sox Hat Somehow Doesn’t Recognize Manny Ramirez in Painfully Awkward Video

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My first thought is to call this guy a gigantic asshole for not recognizing one of the greatest Red Sox players of all time, while wearing a Red Sox hat.

That’s the 2004 World Series MVP!

That’s a 12x All-Star!

That’s a guy who hit 30/100 for the Sox in six straight seasons!

On the other hand, I am also a huge hat guy and thus a fan of random caps from all kinds of teams. One time I was wearing a Tennessee Vols snapback that I bought for $3 because it was a sweet hat. I shit you not the first time I wore it some guy ran up to me while I was waiting for the T absolutely beaming. This guy was PUMPED that he ran into another Volunteer in downtown Boston…until I had to break his heart and tell him I just liked the hat and that I’d never even been to Tennessee. It was like telling a kid Santa Clause doesn’t exist.

Then again, it’s Manny fucking Ramirez, so this guy is indeed a giant asshole. If not for failing to recognize Manny, then definitely for refusing to give someone else the time of day because a stranger dared bother him in public.