Boston Dynamics Releases New Footage of Robot Jumping Over Things, and We Should All Be Scared Shitless

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Yesterday, Boston Dynamics released a new video of its “darling” robot Atlas jumping over/on to different objects in their lab, basically looking like Barry Sanders in his prime, for legitimately no other reason than the fact they think it’s cool.

For those who don’t know who or what Boston Dynamics is, here’s a solid two-liner from Wikipedia that sums them up: Boston Dynamics is an American engineering and robotics design company founded in 1992 as a spin-off from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Headquartered in Waltham, Massachusetts, Boston Dynamics is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Japanese conglomerate SoftBank Group.

And if you’d like to watch the terrifying video I referred to above, here it is:

Why? No but really, though: WHY???!!

Have we learned NOTHING from Sarah and John Connor??!! It’s all fun and games until Skynet launches and we’re overtaken by machines because someone just HAD to teach a piece of metal how to do parkour.

Here’s another video featuring more of their frightening and entirely unnecessary creations:

“Spot” and “Big Dog” are the stuff of nightmares. And how about the fucking Roomba that can JUMP OVER A GODDAMN BUILDING??!!

OH, and did you know that Boston Dynamics actually developed “Big Dog” as a weapon for the U.S. military? But don’t worry, guys! They’re absolutely HARMLESS.

Also, if you’ve seen Kingsman: The Golden Circle (awesome movie, by the way), you can’t tell me this isn’t immediately where your mind went after watching that horror show:

Apparently, the company has been in existence since 1992, and we’re still standing, so maybe some might think I’m overreacting a bit. But back then most people thought the idea of sending a text message was impossible, and let’s just say technology has made quite a leap over the last quarter-century.

Nothing about this is cool. Stop glorifying it. And seriously, somebody go get John Connor!

Friday Afternoon Grab Bag

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I have ten minutes at work to kill so let’s go.

-I initially disagreed with Mattes’ blog about Dwayne Allen but then I really concentrated on exactly how much we are paying him and I am now enraged. What I texted him, and what I’ll share with you, is that you kind of have to compare his role on the team and contract to players of equals roles and their deals. My example was James Devlin, who lead blocks on just about every significant run play (I think I heard last week the Pats go with more 2 back sets than just about every other team) and now has added catching a key pass every now and again to his repertoire. He also makes a little more (in pro athlete terms) than a quarter of what Allen makes. Fuck that. Allen contributes significantly as a blocking tight end but not 4x of James Devlin significant.

-On the other hand, I respectfully disagree with the assessment of our pass rush. If you recall the hey day of the Pats dynasty, The D relied on a front seven that could hurry the hell out of a quarterback, forcing bad throws and picks (sup Ty Law and Asante Samuel) (No “sup” for you Ellis Hobbs III). We didn’t really fill up the stat sheet back then with sacks either. I think we are doing the same thing nowadays. Adrian Clayborn, for example, seems to be somewhere near the quarterback on a lot of significant pass plays. I’m fine where we’re at right now.

-I feel like there hasn’t been any press yet about “The Sisters Brothers”, a western that stars Gyllenhaal, C. Reilly, Phoenix, and Ahmed, among others. It looks like the shit.

-I’ve tried to get into “Big Mouth” the animated show by Nick Kroll and his childhood friend Andrew Goldberg about puberty and jerking off but just can’t. I guess it’s one of those litmus test shows like “Rick and Morty”, you either get it or you don’t.

-Khabib and Conor will both be suspended from the 15th to the 25th, when it will be decided if they will be suspended indefinitely pending an investigation. You can count on the indefinite suspension. Bob Bennett, the Commissioner of the NSAC is considered one of the more reasonable Commissioners and I don’t think he even can pass up an opportunity to show his power and self-importance. This could take awhile.

-Lewis vs. Cormier for the title at UFC 230 is the fight we deserve right now. I mean leeeet’s fuckin go. Should be a fun one. Sucks about Nate vs. Poirier though. I’d say the event itself nets out even. If both were still on, this would be a can’t-miss card.

-No word on the final fate of Zubair Tughukov, I’m thinking a suspension at this point.

-I know I’m forgetting something….

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-O YA, THE YANKEES SUUUUUUCKKKK HAHAHAHA. O boy. Poor trash bags from the 5 burroughs with nothing to be proud of anymore. If you are in the tri-state area next couple weeks bottle some tears for me. Go Sox, indeed.

 

There is Now an L.L. Bean Beer in Case You Thought Leaves and Road Rage Were the Most New England Things Ever

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Boston.com – In quite possibly the most New England beer collaboration ever, Maine-based retailer L.L. Bean has teamed up with five Maine breweries to create a limited-edition craft beer collection in celebration of its new collection of Small Batch Bean Boots.

This takes the cake. The quintessential “comfy but style-less” New England clothing company teaming up with a number of Maine CRAFT BEER companies. This is the most new England thing of all time. It makes you wonder who is coming for this throne. Maybe Cuffy’s will team up with Dunks? Mary Lou’s and the Black Dog? A heroin dealer and Reebok? This honestly could create a sort of apparel/refreshment collab turf war that no one saw coming.

Now I don’t pretend to be a craft beer expert but I was a bit ahead of the curve thanks to an older brother in-law that looks upon Bud Light as a sin of the flesh. I also have a few friends who are either in or have been in the craft beer business. So if you do make it up to South Canada to try one of these (unless they all are making the same thing) I’d go Mast Landing or Thresher. Both make a solid pop.

Cheers.

-Joey B.

Red Sox/Astros ALCS Game 1 Preview

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The Boston Red Sox are in the American League Championship Series for the 11th time, and for the first time since 2013. They will take on the defending champion Houston Astros, who are looking to become the first World Series champion this century to successfully defend its title. Before we go any further, here’s a quick look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:

  • Location: Fenway Park (Boston, Mass.)
  • First Pitch: Saturday, October 13, 8:09 PM EDT
  • TV: TBS
  • Odds (via Odds Shark): Red Sox -1.5 (runline) / Red Sox -120 (moneyline) / 7 (total)

The Red Sox went 3-4 against the Astros this season, 1-2 in Boston and 2-2 in Houston. The four-game series in Houston saw the Sox lose the first two games, but rally to win the last two and get a series split. The Sox dropped two of three in the series in Boston, but they already had 97 wins by the time Houston came to town and may have had their foot off the accelerator by that point.

Chris Sale will take the mound for the Red Sox in Game 1 after a solid ALDS against the Yankees. He faced the Astros only once in the regular season, taking a loss in Houston after allowing four runs on six hits and a walk in six innings of work. Justin Verlander will take the mound for Houston. Verlander received a no decision in his only start versus Boston in 2018. He allowed two runs on three hits and two walks in six innings of work in a game Houston eventually lost 5-4.

Even with the run total at 7, the under would be a wise play in Game 1. Red Sox hitters have a combined .211 average against Verlander in 171 at bats. Astros hitters have fared only slightly better against Sale, combing for a .237 average against him in 118 at bats. This will be a tight series between two evenly matched teams, and Game 1 could kick this series off with an old school pitchers’ duel.

Sears is on the Brink of Collapse and I’m Absolutely Thrilled

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USA Today – For years, there have been reports of Sears death spiraling toward the corporate graveyard alongside other popular brick-and-mortar retailers. The company, once one of the great brands of America, has managed to stay afloat in recent years by borrowing cash from its CEO and selling off desirable assets such as real-estate and brands. Now, reports say Sears is working with advisers to prepare to possibly file for bankruptcy, as soon as this week.

I’ve never rooted against a business as hard as I root against Sears. You can add K-Mart to that list as well since they’re owned by them. In 2018, Sears has no business being allowed to function as an actual store. Every time I go into Sears it is a god damn disaster. There’s never more than two people working the place in the same shift. You got one guy floating around the sales floor folding jeans leaving the registers completely baron while the other guy is out back having a smoke. And K-Mart? Oh boy, do not even get me started. That place is an indoor flea market.

Now I understand, jobs are being lost here and I do feel bad for those just trying to make a living. This anger is directed towards upper management. The same breed of greedy SOBs that put our favorite toy peddling giraffe out on the streets. Get with the times or get left behind. I do hope a company like Macy’s steps up to the plate and hires all 15 of Sears employees as an act of good faith though. It’s funny, because an unnamed 300s blogger actually used to work at Sears back in the day, so we can just pretend it was his fault the company is in shambles now.

RIP Sears. It was fun while it lasted.

Friday Morning Randomness

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Obviously the story here is Batman playing Dick Cheney, but Steve Carell playing Donald Rumsfeld should not be overlooked. Maybe that could make this movie a kinda/sorta sequel to Anchorman, as it looks like Brick actually made it into the second Bush administration…

Coming Soon…The 300s Reviews the Buffalo Bills’ New Era Field

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So I just got back from what felt like a month in Buffalo for a work trip or as Papa Giorgio termed it, a Vegas residency in Buffalo. Now that is an interesting city with some wacky happy hour deals, but I’ll get into all that in this upcoming video. We’ll be reviewing New Era Field, and probably Buffalo in general so keep an eye out for that.

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Patriots Chiefs Week 6 Game Preview, Odds, and Things to Watch For

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Two straight wins have vaulted the Pats right back up to the top of the AFC East heading into Week 6. Go ahead and smile, Pats Nation. It’s OK. But don’t get too cocky, as the SCORCHING-HOT, undefeated Kansas City Chiefs are coming to town this weekend for a Sunday night showdown.

As always, here’s a quick look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:

  • Location: Gillette Stadium (Foxborough, MA)
  • Kickoff: Sunday, Oct. 14, 8:20 p.m. ET
  • TV: NBC
  • Odds (via Odds Shark): Patriots: -3.5 (spread)/Patriots: -175 (moneyline)/59.5 (total)

Just by looking at the numbers, you can see that this one is expected to be a barn burner and an absolute shoot-out. In fact, the current 59.5-point total is slated to be the second-highest over/under for any game within the last 15 years (just behind the 60-point total which closed for a game between the Chiefs and Raiders in 2003). Points are going to be scored in this one. Get ready for some major offensive firepower – on both sides.

The Chiefs currently have the league’s fourth-ranked offense and are averaging 35 points per game, which is the second-highest mark in the league behind the New Orleans Saints. The team is being led by MVP-candidate Patrick Mahomes, a second-year quarterback who was given the keys to the car this year and has rewarded Kansas City for that move with a league-leading 16 total touchdowns so far.

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Here’s Mahomes – probably getting ready to embarrass some poor defensive back in front of thousands of people.

It’s worth noting that he’s only got a five-game track record – six, if you want to include the one game he started as a rookie last year – and young signal-callers usually end up defecating all over themselves their first time playing in Foxborough. But this kid has been absolutely electric this year, and while Belichick probably has a few tricks up his sleeve to slow Mahomes down, the Pats defense just doesn’t have the talent needed to shut down a player of his caliber completely.

Mahomes’s historic season has certainly been aided by the plethora of offensive weapons at his disposal. Seriously, this offense is LOADED. Tyreek Hill is one of the league’s most explosive talents at wide receiver. Travis Kelce is the easily best tight end behind Gronk. Former first-rounder Sammy Watkins is a solid, albeit inconsistent, No. 3 option in the passing game. And Kareem Hunt – last season’s league-leading rusher – is off to another great start with 376 yards on the ground so far, good for fourth in the league. (Oddly, though, for a guy who had over 50 catches last year, Hunt is not getting the ball thrown his way anymore and has just five receptions in 2018. Mahomes has pretty much been getting it done with his wide receivers and tight ends all year.)

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Hunt (27), Hill (10), and Kelce (87) are one nasty trio.

Fortunately, the Chiefs’ defense is ranked dead-last in the NFL, and they have given up by far the most passing yards in the league. Therefore, Brady & Co. should have no trouble keeping up on the scoreboard. And while our defense doesn’t come without it’s own issues (gee, have I mentioned that before?), I have much more confidence in the Pats’ ability to stem the tide than I do the Chiefs.

Also, after coming out EN FUEGO the first few weeks, Mahomes is actually starting to come back down to earth. Over the past two weeks, he’s only thrown for one score while tossing two picks; the yards have still have still been there, though, and the team hasn’t lost, so he’s still moving the ball. However, maybe he’s not completely impossible to stop after all.

Storylines

(Can Jason McCourty Solidify His Spot in the Secondary?): After going from exciting new offseason addition to potential final-roster cut candidate and starting the season buried on the depth chart, Jason McCourty has played outstanding the past couple of weeks and seems to be quite rejuvenated. He’s truly been one of the team’s very best defenders and was all over the Colts receivers last Thursday night. Eric Rowe, who started the season as the team’s No. 2 corner, is now probably unlikely to reclaim his starting spot when he returns from injury. That is, of course, unless McCourty gets torched by Mahomes and his minions this week. This is a huge game for Jason McCourty, and I’ll be watching him very closely on Sunday night.

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You’ve been playing great lately, Jason. Don’t blow it.

(Will Chris Hogan Finally Wake Up?): There is no doubt that Hogan has been one of the team’s biggest disappointments this season. With Julian Edelman out for the first four weeks of the season and a dearth of other receiving options on the team, many expected Hogan to serve as a bona fide No. 1 wide-out for as long as needed. Except for a lucky two-touchdown game in Week 2 against the Jags, Hogan has yet to surpass 34 yards in a game this season. There’s also two games this year where he’s hauled in just one pass. To be fair, he hasn’t been getting many targets, but that probably has to do with him being unable to get any separation. I believe Hogan is much better served as a No. 2 or 3 option in an offense, and Edelman’s return should actually open more things up for him. But if he can’t get it going against Kansas City’s horrendous pass-coverage, YIKES.

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EARTH TO CHRIS HOGAN! Where ya been, bud?

(Two of the Best Minds in the Game Go Head-to-Head): I’m pretty sure by now everyone’s heard of that guy Bill Belichick and how great of a coach he is. And even the most casual of NFL fans should know about Andy Reid, now in his sixth year as head coach of the Chiefs after spending 13 years as the leading man in Philadelphia. Both men have a pretty extensive track record of success, but I’m unsure if people realize just how much of an offensive visionary Reid is. Not only are his offenses always near the top of the league each season, but he was the one who decided to go all in and draft Mahomes last season, even when most others throughout the franchise were fine sticking with Alex Smith. The guy is an offensive visionary, and this will be a fun chess match to watch between two of the game’s best and brightest.

Prediction

As I said, this one is going to be a whirlwind, with tons of yards and points galore. I do think the Pats will tame Mahomes much more than people expect, but don’t forget about Kareem Hunt and the running game; this is not a one-dimensional offense. This one could be a real boxing match, with both teams trading blows all night long. In the end, I think the Pats benefit from some home cooking and eek out a win, 33-30, with a late Stephen Gostkowski field goal.

Khabib Nurmagomedov Drops Incendiary Instagram Post Directed at the UFC

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I would like to address @ufc Why didn't you fire anyone when their team attacked the bus and injured a couple of people? They could have killed someone there, why no one says anything about insulting my homeland, religion, nation, family? Why do you have to punish my team, when both teams fought. If you say that I started it, then I do not agree, I finished what he had started. In any case, punish me, @zubairatukhugov has nothing to do with that. If you think that I’ll keep silent then you are mistaken. You canceled Zubaira’s fight and you want to dismiss him just because he hit Conor. But don’t forget that it was Conor who had hit my another Brother FIRST, just check the video. if you decide to fire him, you should know that you’ll lose me too. We never give up on our brothers in Russia and I will go to the end for my Brother. If you still decide to fire him, don’t forget to send me my broken contract, otherwise I'll break it myself. And one more thing, you can keep my money that you are withholding. You are pretty busy with that, I hope it won’t get stuck in your throat. We have defended our honor and this is the most important thing. We intend to go to the end. #Brothers

A post shared by Khabib Nurmagomedov (@khabib_nurmagomedov) on

Holy. Mother. Fuck. Khabib Nurmagomedov is is reaaaaalllly not kidding around folks. While I sit here and try and wrap my head around the situation in order to write an even mildly coherent commentary, I think that it is important to note that this whole debacle is going to be impossible for the UFC to get right. There are just too many players, too many events, and too many questions to address.

For instance – what do you put more weight, on the past or the present? Yes, the entire melee involving Khabib and his team was wrong and a bad look for the sport. That much is undeniably true and it can’t go unpunished…..except for the fact that six months ago Conor McGregor got off scot-fucking-free, at least in terms of the Athletic Commission and the UFC, for throwing metal objects through bus windows, injuring two fighters, who had no involvement in any kind of beef with McGregor by the way, to the point where they could no longer compete and earn an income that weekend. So if you didn’t punish Conor for that, how can you really punish Khabib or his teammates for this when at least no foreign objects were used and no one was critically injured?

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Next there is the fact that Conor McGregor came after Khabib’s religion, father, homeland, nationality (this is a long fucking lists), etc. Now to a lot of Americans, including my lapsed Catholic ass who doesn’t put a ton of weight on the fluid idea of the “nuclear family”, Conor engaged in the same over-the-top shit talking he always does. But it was just that to us, shit talking. We cannot comprehend what it means to a proud Dagestani Muslim from humble beginnings to hear his next opponent thrash the very fabric of his being like that. It just doesn’t compute in our brains. I guarantee you it has been overwhelmingly hard for Khabib to watch and hear Conor these past few months. If you think about it, he is absolutely stoic. Imagine the volcano bubbling inside of him in order to finally have him snap last Saturday?

One of the things that makes Khabib Nurmagomedov so intriguing is that he is a throw back. He fights to challenge himself. He fights for honor. He fights to prove he is the best. He fights to fight. Indeed it must be a mind-fuck, in the age of the money fights and the red panty nights, for the UFC to come up with a compromise with their champion, possibly the greatest lightweight ever (we don’t know that yet), when he states pretty clearly money does not matter to him here. They can choke on it, is what he pretty much says. It reminds me of Frank Costello’s remark about Billy Costigan’s Dad, “He never wanted money. You can’t do anything with a man like that.” Now, having finally arrived in the age of MMA fighters demanding to be paid, Khabib sees red over his teammates’ professional fate, not green from his greatest triumph.

Dana White is a stubborn man so I have no doubt Tukhugov is or will be cut. If I had to guess I’d say they’ll do what they did with Artem Lobov and just re-sign him somewhere soon down the line.  I actually don’t know if Lobov was ever even formally cut or not. I do know that many more members were added to Team Khabib last Saturday and that the UFC would be well suited to do all they can to keep that large, global team happy. I’m not saying don’t punish anyone, but keep in mind your past transgressions when it comes to these sorts of mishaps. Because now The Eagle has come home to roost.

-Joey B

QUICK P.S: This was not meant to be anti-Conor at all. Big Conor fan too. However Khabib’s current issue with the UFC has to be seen in the context of both his beef with McGregor and in McGregor’s past actions.

 

 

Cough Drop K-Cups Are on the Way!

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PR Newswire – GSK Consumer Healthcare announced a new innovation for Theraflu cold & flu symptom relief with the U.S. launch of Theraflu PowerPods Severe Cold. The brand recognizes consumer’s ever-changing lifestyles and, through this expansion of the current Theraflu portfolio, is modernizing how consumers can achieve cold & flu symptom relief. Compatible with single-serve coffee machines, Theraflu PowerPods brew a cup of warm, soothing relief with the press of a button.

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Put that PowerPod down. Coffee machines are for coffee only.

Honestly, who asked for this? Has one person with the flu ever tried to run cough syrup through their Keurig machine? What marketing research indicated that there was an untapped market for Halls K-Cups?

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How could a PowerPod be anything more than a cough drop K-Cup? If that sounds disgusting, just try being the guy in the office who brews his K-Cup after Karen brews her cough drop K-Cup. The next dozen or so french vanilla K-Cups will taste like they’ve been spiked with Robitussin.

The only silver lining for Halls K-Cups is that there is no way they can be more disgusting than chicken noodle soup K-Cups. If you’ve never had to take apart your Keurig machine and wash it out with vinegar, trying to make a chicken noodle soup K-Cup will have you scrambling for your owner’s manual in no time.

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Incidentally, I bought my first and only pack of chicken noodle soup K-Cups where I expect to buy my first and only pack of cough drop K-Cups: the clearance rack at Target.