Ts and Ps To Topanga’s Ex Lance Bass On Losing Out On The “Brady Bunch” House

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Sooo good people….I copied and pasted something else so I no longer have the link to this story. Luckily you can hit CTRL+T and just google this story as every news outlet is covering it as if some great injustice is being done to an American treasure.

First and foremost Lance Bass is the 4th most important member of Nsync. There’s Timberlake, the guy with the initials, Joey Fatone, and then Lance Bass. Yes Fatone is above him because he was in “Rent” and although Broadway is dumb because there is NO FUCKING REASON to break into song all randomly and shit, massive amounts of people consider “Rent” culturally significant. So sorry Lance, you are only above the guy who got directly threatened by Eminem.

As for the story at hand, my only real angle on this is it is interesting how badly the “Brady Bunch” house got cucked in terms of famous pop culture residences by the “Full House” house. I’m sure until Danny Tanner and the gang came along people gave many more shits about the Brady’s dwelling, but now, the Tanner’s is definitely the more well known of thw two. Yours truly even visited it when I was in SF in 13′.

This all makes the fact that Lance Bass is “heartbroken” absolutely ridiculous. Bro you were not even BORN when this show went off the air (I think, again I’ve promised too many times to not do research to only now start doing research). Stop acting like someone has violated your auction rights by backdooring you out of a semi-famous (these days) T.V house. Put on your big boy pants, take this L, be a man, and just wait to buy Demi Lovato’s house once she dies. Problem solved.

-Joey B.

Better Call Saul Has Always Been Great, But Last Night It Turned A Corner

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Being a spinoff of arguably the most critically acclaimed show in history cannot be an easy task. Breaking Bad was a juggernaut, one that slowly built over 5 seasons to one of the most satisfying conclusions I have ever seen. After the show took it’s final bow, rumors swirled of a spinoff, focused on the criminal lawyer sidekick better known as Saul Goodman. Rarely do these off shoots work, a victim of trying to recreate a magic that some would say is best left alone. This is not the case with AMC’s Better Call Saul. Entering it’s fourth season last night, Saul once again proved there’s still something special occurring in the deserts of Albuquerque.

*****If you’re not caught up, please stop reading here. Spoilers for last night’s introduction. I’ll let you know when it’s safe.

Season 4 picks up with the everyone’s favorite Cinnabon employee Gene being transported to the hospital after passing out in the season 3 premiere. Tests are run with the verdict being a false alarm. Gene is discharged, but not before an over-talkative receptionist grills him for his driver’s license and social security number, both of which seem to keep being rejected by the hospital’s computer system. The panic sets in for Gene, aka Saul, aka Jimmy, who is hiding out in Nebraska after the events of Breaking Bad. Tension builds and just when you think the jig is up, the system accepts the information and Gene leaves for the cab waiting to bring him home. This is where things get even better. Overcome by the anxiety of the scene that just unfolded, he notices that hanging from the mirror of the cab is an air freshener label Albuquerque. The cab driver’s eyes peer into the rearview, which might as well be straight into Gene’s soul. He asks for the cabbie to pull over, which he does so reluctantly. Who is this cab driver? Does he just recognize Saul from his billboards all over Albuquerque, or is this something more nefarious? Gene exists quickly and the cab doesn’t pull away. It lingers, as we the audience wait for whatever is about to happen next. Cut to opening credits.

*****END SPOILERS

Better Call Saul manages to tell it’s own story outside of the Breaking Bad world. Yes, there are a ton of characters from both series now present, including Mike, Lydia, Gus, the Salamancas, Tuco, Victor, and so on, but never has a spinoff been so well executed that it is easily on the same playing field as the original. Patrick Fabian and Rhea Seehorn as Howard and Kim are absolute geniuses in their craft, giving some of their best performances to date in last night’s premiere. AMC is so confident in Saul that it was already picked up for a fifth season.

You’ve all officially been put on notice, get to watching Better Call Saul if you haven’t already. I truly consider it to be the best drama on television, and it deserves to be seen.

Dunkin’ Unveils Double Dollar Menu

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WCVB 5 – Dunkin’ Donuts is bringing an updated menu of $2 snack items nationwide, after what the company called “a successful test” earlier this year.

The Dunkin’ Run menu includes the company’s first gluten-free product: an individually wrapped fudge brownie… The menu also includes the company’s Donut Fries, which began being offered in its stores nationwide in July. They are described as warm croissant-style donut sticks tossed in cinnamon sugar.

Other items on the new menu are ham and cheese roll-ups, pretzel bites with mustard and waffle-breaded chicken tenders.

I’m all in favor of fast food restaurants taking chances and I have no problem with fast food restaurants trying to branch out beyond their category. I love Taco Bell breakfast and their nacho fries are great. I’m not saying Dunkin’ should be restricted to selling just coffee and donuts (as Denis Leary once said), but can we hold off on throwing a parade just because they added supermarket checkout lane fudge brownies to their menu?

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I’m also firmly in favor of value menus (as opposed to “value” meals.) I appreciate Dunkin’s strategy here, but I question their execution. These chicken tenders look like something from a bag at the bottom of my freezer…

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Why would I spend two bucks on microwaved chicken patties when I could get 10 chicken nuggets or nine chicken fries at Burger King for $1.69? Sorry Dunkin’. I’m not mad. Just a little disappointed.

PS – This post does not apply to Donut Fries. Those look delicious.

Terrell Owens Says He Can Play in the CFL. I Say He’s Not Crazy.

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Fresh off a night on which he was FINALLY inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame, Terrell Owens was out to prove that he can still play.

Much of the talk surrounding T.O. in recent weeks has focused on his decision to skip out on attending the actual H.O.F. induction ceremony in Canton due to what he believes to be a “flawed system.” (Seriously, it took THREE tries for the committee to vote him in??!! That’s absolutely shameful, and I don’t necessarily blame the guy for feeling the way he does.)

But regardless of whether or not you agree with his decision, there should be no questions about his resolve.

ESPN reported early this morning that T.O. worked out for the Canadian Football League’s Saskatchewan Roughriders on Sunday in Tennessee. And while some may initially laugh at the 44-year-old’s seemingly foolish hubris – after all, he hasn’t played a full season of football since 2010 – the guy is still in phenomenal shape and has been seriously talking about a comeback for quite some time now.

Just check out these tweets, which he posted back in May:

The man is a freakin’ Adonis, and apparently still has the jets, too:

Here it is right here!! Just ran a 4.44 and 4.43 @theherd @undisputedonfs1 @shannonsharpe84 @ucla Ask the fellas how I’m picking em up & puttin em down! 🏃🏾‍♂️💨@juliojones_11 @hawk_inc @larrylegend85

A post shared by Terrell Owens (@terrellowens) on (By the way, the person recording that video was Julio Jones, as the two have been working out together quite a bit this offseason. And I don’t know about you, but if one of the NFL’s current premier studs thinks T.O. can still get it done, I’ll buy in, too.)

As much of a meathead as he could be at times, Owens is an absolute NFL legend and one of the very best receivers to ever play the game:

  • 1,078 career receptions (8th all-time)
  • 153 career receiving touchdowns (3rd all-time)
  • 15,934 career receiving yards (2nd all-time)

Though Larry Fitzgerald is likely to surpass Owens on the all-time receiving yardage list this season (he’s only 389 yards away at the moment), those are some pretty astounding numbers that most guys at his position will never even come close to sniffing in their lifetime. And, while it was indeed eight years ago, T.O. finished his last season in Cincinnati with nine touchdowns and fell just 17 yards shy of compiling his 10th 1,000-plus-yard season.

(I realize he attempted to come back in 2012 with the Seahawks, and let’s just say it didn’t go so well. However, as he only played in a few preseason games that summer and was cut before the start of the regular season, I’m going to go off of what he did when it last mattered.)

Above all, if anyone has the stones to actually come back in his mid-40s after a six-year absence from professional football, it would be Terrell Owens. This is someone who, for better or worse, has never once given a flying shit what ANYONE thought about him or the things he does. And as much as he may have rubbed people the wrong way over his very enigmatic 15-year NFL career, the guy’s got the heart of lion, and I truly believe he is committed to the cause.

Will anything actually come out of this, or is this simply a PR stunt? Only time will tell.

Does The 300s have a great track record so far with predicting success in the Canadian Football League? Not so much. (Sorry to both Red and Johnny Manziel for that one. But hey, it was only one game, right??!!)

All I know is that I am rooting like hell for Owens, and here’s to hoping the Roughriders decide to take a chance on a living legend.

The 300s Does the BIG3 Basketball Tournament Boston

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14-year-old Mattes was in his glory on Friday night, as I decided to head on over to the TD Garden to finally check out the BIG3 Basketball Tournament.

Red and I have been very intrigued by the BIG3 ever since its inception last year. The league – created by Ice Cube (yes, that Ice Cube) and executive Jeff Kwatinetz (I have no idea who he is either) – is comprised of mostly retired NBA players and features a 3-on-3, half-court style of play. The first team to 50 points wins the game, and while there is technically no game clock each game typically lasts around an hour (which is aided by a 14-second shot clock).

Players are also able to take their chances on a four-point shot at any time, which only adds to the nostalgia for those who grew up playing NBA Jam like myself, Red, and Big Z:

There are plenty of other unique rules as well, all of which I’mma let Ice lay out for you really quick:

(With those pretty punitive rules surrounding techs, I think it’s pretty safe to say we won’t be seeing guys like DeMarcus Cousins, Dwight Howard, or Draymond Green playing much post-retirement basketball.)

The schedule runs for 10 weeks, with the league traveling to different cities throughout the country each time (save for a stop in Toronto last week), providing long-time NBA fans everywhere with a little taste of nostalgia and old-school flavor.

Seriously, though, a short list of some of the guys playing this season reads like an early 2000’s NBA all-star game roster: Ron Artest; Mike Bibby; Chauncy Billups; Carlos Boozer; Baron Davis; Ricky Davis; Al Harrington; Stephen Jackson; Rashard Lewis; Corey Maggette; Kenyon Martin; Cuttino Mobley; Jermaine O’Neal; and Amar’e Stoudemire.

(Side note: Yes, you read that correctly; “Metta World Peace” is no more, as the now 38-year-old Artest has apparently decided to go back to the name his mama gave him at birth. Also, to make things even better he has been reunited with former partner-in-crime Stephen Jackson, as they both play for the Killer 3’s, leading fans throughout the Garden to be on full alert for any…ummm…unexpected interactions with the crowd. However, everyone behaved themselves, fans and players included.)

The rosters were also replete with former Celtics players, including such fan favorites as Marcus Banks, Glen “Big Baby” Davis, Nate Robinson, and, above all, the legend himself: the one, the only, the White Mamba…Brian David Scalabrine.

Unfortunately, Billups, B-Dave, Lewis (last season’s BIG3 MVP), and K-Mart all sat out on Friday night, but there was still plenty of fun basketball in store.

Rather than providing a recap of each of the four games (which can instead be found here), I’m going to give you some of my most noteworthy observations from the night:

Mixed Night for Former Celtics Stars

The first game of the night featured the guy I was obviously most excited to see, Scalabrine, but it wasn’t necessarily the most noteworthy performance for the big fella. Scal finished with two points and two boards in a closely contested game, which his Ballhogs ended up losing by six.

Game 2, which was probably the most entertaining of the four, featured the Lilliputian wonder Nate Robinson, and boy did he show out. It actually wasn’t surprising to me, as Nate was laser-focused during the pre-game warmup, working on his jumper right when the doors opened up at 6 p.m. until pretty much right before the first game tipped. I was expecting big things from the little guy, and he didn’t disappoint.

Nate started the game oozing with energy and flying around the court on his way to 14 points, five rebounds, two assists, and two steals. Not only do his stats look great on paper, but he also dropped eight points, including a clutch four-pointer, and had a key steal during the team’s furious comeback in the game’s final minutes against Artest and Jackson’s Killer 3’s.

Former Celtic Nate Robinson, now of Tri State in the Big3, celebrates with the fans after they defeated the Killer 3s at TD Garden.

I see you, Nate. And so didn’t everyone else in attendance at the Garden on Friday night.

And of course, we can’t forget about Big Baby, who also had a great game for his team, Power, finishing second on the team in scoring with 15 points.

The lovable goofball was also responsible for hitting the game-ending shot, after which he treated the crowd with a gyrating, wiggle-filled dance that would make even Antoine Walker proud.

So while it may not have been the best night for the White Mamba, at least Shrek and Donkey had a nice night in front of their former home crowd – and I loved every minute of it.

Reggie Evans Can Still BALL

The unquestioned MVP of the night was Reggie Evans, even in a losing effort. He finished with 23 points and 11 rebounds, as he looked like an absolute force out there for the 3 Headed Monsters.

It shouldn’t be too surprising, as Evans was playing in the league as recently as 2015, and the Celtics were even considering bringing him out of retirement for a little extra help on the glass toward the end of the 2016 season. He also leads the BIG3 this season in both rebounds and blocks, and while he never posted huge numbers in the NBA the guy did play for 13 seasons and served as a great reserve big man who never got the credit he truly deserved.

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Big Success in the NBA Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Big Success in the BIG3

After three hours of play, I admittedly was starting to fade a bit until I heard the starting lineup for the Ghost Ballers, who were playing in the final game of the night: Mike Bibby, Carlos Boozer, and Ricky Davis.

Holy shit! You could do some absolute DAMAGE with a lineup featuring those three in NBA Live 2004! But all three came out shockingly flat, falling behind 8-0 in a flash and eventually losing the game by almost 20 points.

To be fair, both Davis (15 points) and Boozer (15 points, 13 rebounds) eventually woke up, but with a complete goose egg from Bibby and Marcus Banks, the team simply had no chance.

(I also wanted to give some shine to Andre Emmett, who played a total of eight career NBA games back in 2004-2005 before spending the rest of his pro career in either the D-League or overseas. He is having a bit of resurgence in the BIG3. I’ll be honest in saying that while I do remember the name, I can’t say I remember much of him as a player, but he looked great for 3’s Company in their win against the Ghost Ballers, finishing with 21 points, seven boards, three assists, and two steals. The guy also leads the BIG3 in field goals made this season. Hats off to him.)

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After watching all eight teams, here is the official “All-Mattes BIG3 Super Squad”:

  • Starters: Nate Robinson, Andre Emmett, Reggie Evans
  • Reserves: Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf; Stephen Jackson; David Hawkins; Carlos Boozer

Overall, I’d say the night was pretty fun. Sure, while there was definitely some mediocre play at times (again, these are retired former players), it was an enjoyable night of basketball for the reasonable price of $15 a ticket.

While it’s probably going to be some time before the league makes its way to Boston again, you can check out all the action on the tube every Friday night on FS1. And just so you know, there are about three weeks left in the season, with the next scheduled stop on the tour being Atlanta.

Johnny Manziel Makes His CFL Debut Tonight

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Jonathan “Football” Manziel makes his CFL debut tonight for the Montreal Alouettes.

I have never been more pissed to have Red Sox Yankees tickets than I am tonight because god damnit I was going to find a way to stream this game.

After joining the Hamilton Tiger Cats this season, Manziel never saw the field, which as we debated could be bad or it could be the fact that the entrenched Hamilton starting QB was putting up NUMBERS. So I’m going to reserve judgement because I still think he can wreck this league, if not the NFL.

Then he was recently traded to Montreal, a team at the bottom of the league so it didn’t take long for the Alouettes to unleash the former Heisman winner.

I don’t think Buffalo Wild Wings streams CFL games so if anyone knows where I can watch some of that sweet, sweet Canadian futbol tweet me @The300sBoston

In Offense To Big Z’s Defense of Dan Shaughnessy From My Column Taking Down Dan Shaughnessy

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Here’s the thing. Bill Belichick doesn’t like bullshit questions. He is not here to be reality T.V. To be dramatic. I think that is where anyone who hates him finds their disconnect. You have middle aged me now watching (BECAUSE HAHA ISN’T THIS FUNNY AND IRONIC AND I’M COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF) the bachelor. Of course they are going to hate Bill Belichick not talking about OOOOO the Malcolm Butler benching.

But have you ever heard Belichick field a question about….football? He LOVES it. When Ebner got hurt last year and someone asked him how it was going to effect kick coverage, he went onnnnnnnn and on about coverage and the x’s and o’s and who knows what. He just does not want to talk about bullshit side stories that have zero to do with winning football games. Are they interesting for us to talk about on a rainy day or at the? Sure. No one will deny that. But they don’t matter to the Hooded One.

 

-Joey B.

Soooo McGregor vs. Nurmagomedov Is Basically ON

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If this isn’t an “I’m Back” tweet then IDK what is. After two years away from the cage Conor McGregor will be returning to fight Khabib Nurmagomedov in what might be the biggest MMA fight of all time.

Early prediction? I have no fucking clue. Khabib has mauled every last opponent thrown his way. Minus getting some ring rust shaken off him by a VERY fast Michael Johnson he has looked a man amongst boys. But it’s Conor man, it’s fuckin Conor. He has earned 9 figures making people look like folks for doubting him.

HERE. WE. GO.

The 300’s Official UFC 227 Preview

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Happy Diaz vs. Poirier Day! BUT CONCENTRATE. This weekend we have a fantastic card on our hands ladies and gents. We have two title fights and a lot more beautiful violence to cover so if you don’t mind, I’m not gonna be about the bullshit today.

The Main Event

T.J Dillashaw (C) vs. Cody Garbrandt – Bantamweight (135lbs) Title Fight

When you really sit back and think about it the first and last time T.J Dillashaw and Cody Garbrandt fought was a perfect encapsulation of who they were then as fighters.  Garbrandt was a slick as hell boxer with a cannon of a right hand and who had probably gotten just a little too cocky for his own good. That said, if you had grown up on the wrong side of the poverty line in Nowhere, OH and had risen to be the undefeated Bantamweight Champion of the UFC, you might have too.

Tyler Jeffrey Dillashaw was (and is) a world-class MMA kickboxer and had on his side the confidence that he never really lost his title, despite what the UFC and Massachusetts State Athletic Commission said.

Dillashaw won fight 1, as we all know. After getting knocked down by a Garbrandt sledgehammer, overhand right and potentially saved by the bell at the end of RD1, “Killashaw” came back to make “No Love” pay for his arrogance, ending his night with a head kick not long after.

All of the above makes this fight REALLY tough to pick, especially when you finally acknowledge, in the 4th paragraph of a blog, the animosity between these two guys. I’ve never believed an MMA feud more than this. They hate each other. So did that blind Garbrandt the first time? Will it Dillashaw this time? It’s a really hard aspect of this fight to quantify.

What makes this an even harder one to call is that, in my opinion, both guys are equally skilled at what they do. It is not like a great wrestler vs a great striker fight where you can try and guess which cancels out the other. “No Love” is a slippery-as-they-come boxer with great wrestling to boot while the reigning champ is pure poetry-in-motion with his stance changing-heavy style of Muay Thai. Oh and he is an excellent wrestler too.

So who wins? Who takes this one? For this underappreciated by his boss blogger, it is a battle of head vs. heart. My heart says Garbrandt via RD1 thud. He won’t get as cocky, he is a lot more focused, and he got all the treatment he could find for his ailing back so he’ll get the best of the champ this time. However, my head says the champ. T.J is – Godfuckingdammit I’m talking about him again – Conor McGregor-esque in his confidence. He simply doesn’t see himself losing. He doesn’t recognize it as a reality. He has probably been through every last scenario this fight might throw at him in his head.  So that’s it. I love to watch both these guys fight but I have to take the champ.

Official Pick: T.J Dillashaw retains his title by KO (RD4)
Co-Main Event

 

Demetrious Johnson (C) vs. Henry Cejudo – Flyweight (125lbs) Title Fight

This is why I get paid the big bucks. To talk about snoozers like this. I’d love to pick the upset. I’d love to say Cejudo is going to pull a Rocky and beat the longtime flyweight champ, but alas. Cejudo is ultra talented. He is an Olympic wrestler who has developed a great kickboxing game and  has still-improving but impressive hands. With that said, apart from Wilson Reis, a grappler first and second, Cejudo hasn’t finished anyone since 2013. Before knocking out Reis and decisioning Sergio Pettis, he had been beat on points by Joe B in one of the most lackluster fights the division has ever seen. I’m not trying to dump on Cejudo, but my point is I would have needed to see him DESTROY a few opponents in a row to give him a shot against D.J, who, like him or not, loves to win fights.

Official Pick: Demetrious Johnson retains his title by submission (RD5)

 

Additional Fun Fight

Pedro Munhoz vs. Brett Johns (Bantamweight fight)

In case anyone has forgot BRETT JOHNS WON A FIGHT BY CALF SLICER! CALF SLICER! LAST YEAR! That just does not fucking happen. Including that win, the scrappy, scrawny 135er from Wales won his first three UFC bouts and was undefeated before running into the Funkmaster in his last fight. That would be a wake up call to a lot of up and comers. But I think he needed that to keep progressing and should be using it as motivation going into this tussle with Munhoz.

“The Young Punisher” has gone 5-3 in his UFC tenure, but that belies the fact that his three losses were to Rafael “No one has noticed I’ve been in the top-3 for 10 years” Assuncao, Jimmie Rivera, and John Dodson – three big name, top flight guys at Bantamweight. He is a black belt in a BJJ and has a particular affinity for latching onto a nasty guillotine.

Basically, someone is getting tapped.

Official Pick: Pedro Munhoz wins by submission (RD2)

Notes

– Cub Swanson fights in the third-to-the-top bout of the night. He is one of the reasons yours truly got into MMA and always brings a boxing-heavy, fun, complete style of mixed martial arts to the cage. He fight Renato Carneiro who is a savage in his own right.

– There is a LOT of talk coming from both main event participants as well as D.J that the winner of the 135lb title fight will drop down and fight “Mighty Mouse” for his title in a superfight. We’ll see if that get’s done. Here’s betting Johnson’s gigantic sense of self-worth that it won’t.

Enjoy the scraps.

-Joey B.

Happy 41st Birthday, Thomas Patrick Edward Brady, Jr.

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Two score and one year ago, the world was gifted with a child – born in San Mateo, California – who would eventually go on to become a living legend responsible for providing constant joy, multiple championships, and pure, captivating handsomeness to New England and the rest of Pats Nation for over one and a half decades (and counting).

That man is none other than Tom Brady, and The 300s would be remiss if we didn’t give the G.O.A.T. a well-deserved (and probably all too emotional) birthday shout-out.

No other athlete in modern NFL history is as prolific and accomplished as TB12. (Sorry, Brady haters, but you literally cannot even begin to argue against this one anymore.)

Besides Charles Haley – who, while indeed a Hall of Fame defensive end, just so happened to be on some pretty loaded San Francisco 49ers and Dallas Cowboys teams – no other player has ever won five Super Bowls.

“Oh yeah, Mattes??!! How about the fact that Joe Montana NEVER lost a Super Bowl, and Brady’s lost THREE??!!”

Brady’s still been to eight of them in total, double the amount of times Montana even got there, and since 2001, when Brady took over as the starter, the Pats have won 14 division titles and have appeared in the AFC Championship 12 times.

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TFB is also just south of 500 touchdowns passes for his career (488 right now), and is likely to pass Brett Favre (who finished with 508) at some point this season for second place all-time.

The guy’s also got over 45,000 passing yards for his career and three MVP awards to his name, one of which came last year at the age of 40. (Oh, by the way, only ONE other guy in the four major professional sports has ever won an MVP award at age 40 or older. That guy was Barry Bonds in 2004, and that was because he was juiced up more than a freakin’ grapefruit.)

“OH REALLY, MATTES??!! WHAT ABOUT SPYGATE??!! AND THE DEFLATED FOOTBALLS??!! THE GUY’S CHEATED HIS WAY THROUGHOUT HIS WHOLE CAREER!!!”

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If you’re one of those people who still puts any merit into that argument, you are a complete assclown that knows absolutely nothing about football. While I’m not absolving Brady and others in the organization of any and all blame, let’s not act as though the rest of the league doesn’t pull anything a little shady from time to time. But if you think any of it has helped him put up those kind of numbers and get that many wins, you’re probably one of those “the world is definitely flat” or “vaccinations cause autism” people, too.

Brady’s also the only ever back-to-back No. 1-ranked player on NFL Network’s annual “Top 100 Players” list – which is voted on by actual NFL players and nobody else; I’m pretty sure if Brady was such a cheat, opposing players wouldn’t be so quick to label him the greatest.

Anyway, I think we all get the picture that Brady is an absolute god amongst men who will forever burn as the brightest flame in the hearts of Pats fans everywhere, no matter how long he plays.

So happy birthday once again, Tom. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

(Here’s a little extra Tom Brady/Patriots porn for your Friday afternoon viewing pleasure:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IusEolm-CfM