If Josh McDaniels Goes to Cleveland Am I a Browns Fan Now?

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ProFootballTalk – As hyperbolic adverbs go, this one is right up there with “strenuously object.”

Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels is “enthusiastically interested” in the Browns’ vacant head coaching job, according to Steve Doerschuk of the Canton Repository.

Josh McDaniels has patrolled the Pats sideline representing the offensive side of the ball for a combined ten seasons now and, minus his two season stint in Denver, has been a part of Patriot Nation since ’01. Let that sink in for a second. Josh McDaniels has played some part of all five Super Bowls. He may not be as much of a part of the soup that has made this Dynasty so great as say, Belichick and Brady, but he has been a necessary ingredient and since 2012 has brought the Patriots offense back to life, giving Tom Brady the second act he desperately craved and deserves. Maybe our fandom shouldn’t be required to travel with him wherever he goes next, but he deserves a tip of our cap and a nod should we bump into him between September and February.

With all of that said, we have a dilemma on our hands should he go to Cleveland partner with my best friend Baker Mayfield. If McDaniels landing spot is alongside the fire breathing Prince That was Promised, I may have to hand in my Patriots Loyalty Card. On one hand you have the coach, who I’ve spent enough time on today. On the other, you have a quarterback who not only led the Browns to their best season since 2011, but has enough electricity in his undersized (haaaaaaahahaha) body to power an entire city. And then tell said city to go fuck itself when it besmirches him. Baker Mayfield is a competitive lunatic and I love every second of it.

So what do I do here? What do I do if Josh McDaniels goes to the Browns? Do we just set up a Pats Nation Central shop in Cleveland? Do I become one of those asshats who says they have “two teams” and probably plays with My Little Pony dolls? Will Red hold a press conference where I will be sitting at a table and have two hats in front of me, one Browns and one Patriots, where I’ll announce where my allegiance now lays? I just don’t know. But here’s hoping we find out.

-Joey B

P.S – I’m obviously a Pats fan for life fuckheads. But Baker/McDaniels would be must watch T.V.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Iron Man 2

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The300s MCU

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Let me start off by saying that Iron Man 2 is probably the worst film in the MCU. It bothers the living hell out of me, especially coming off of what I consider one of the best Marvel movies period, the first Iron Man. Ask most Marvel fans and they’ll probably rank this one near or at the bottom of their list which is totally valid. There are some incredible lows in this film, and i’ll do my best to break them down and sort them out for you.

Iron Man 2 is the 3rd installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, released on May 7th, 2010. By all means, this is the first true step in building towards The Avengers, as it features Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, and Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson. To quickly summarize, Iron Man 2 starts off with Tony at the Stark Expo in Queens, NY. He’s showboating his Iron Man suit, as he often does, but it’s also revealed that he’s dying, poisoned by the very thing keeping him alive, his chest arc reactor. Watching on television somewhere in Russia, the sinister Ivan Vanko, played by Mickey Rourke, is working away on his own version of the arc reactor, based on plans crafted by his father and Tony’s dad, Howard. He ambushes Tony at the Monaco Grand Prix, debuting his alter ego Whiplash. This is met with curiosity from Tony’s rival arms dealer, Justin Hammer, played by Sam Rockwell. Hammer breaks Whiplash out of prison and hires him to build a fleet of Iron Man-like suits for him to win back his government arms contract. Vanko does build Hammer his suits, but is also secretly working on improving his Whiplash armor, very similar to the way Stark secretly built his Iron Man armor in captivity in the first installment of the franchise. The film culminates with a battle at the Stark expo, and with the help of Don Cheadle’s War Machine, Tony saves the day once again. Oh, and remember how Tony was dying? Yeah, he just magically creates a brand new element that has the power to save him. He’s really smart guys.

You’ll notice how I left out a lot of what happens in the middle of the movie. There’s a reason for that. It’s pure trash.

There’s so much happening in the second act of this movie that is painful to the eyes and ears.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huiZFHZwI_o

Let’s start with Rhodey becoming War Machine because Tony Stark was too drunk in his Iron Man suit. Riiiiiiiight. Just try and watch this nonsense with a straight face. Also, shout out to a cameo by DJ AM. RIP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6Ds4_k3kiU

“I want my bird.” Vanko insists on Hammer getting him his bird, and he seems pretty damn serious about it. Yet, later in the movie he gets a random bird and….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beK0D9ChV40

….it immediately gets bagged in hilarious fashion! Also, what the hell is with Sam Rockwell in this movie? He is insanely bad and overacting the shit out of this thing. Mickey Rourke looks bored to death at every turn, and that’s saying something coming from an actor who was pretty much blacklisted from Hollywood for like a decade before this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWqhGlLqJEM

I only put this here because John Favreau stinks at acting. Decent director, stinky actor. Also, are we really not supposed to think ScarJo is Black Widow? Why even bother trying to hide it and play this game?

Finally, I’d like to shout out to Kate Mara for being in this thing for a total of 30 seconds.

I honestly could go on and on and nitpick this movie to death. Iron Man 3 stinks just as bad which is kind of crazy to think that for as much acclaim this series has, it only really has one good entry.

My final review: 3.0 out of 10. I’ve included the trailer just in case you wanted to test it out yourself. Godspeed.

Stay tuned for our next entry in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, Thor.

Bar Rafaeli Possibly Being Indicted?

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Yahoo – Israel’s most famous model Bar Refaeli is suspected of tax evasion and will be called into a hearing ahead of her possible indictment, authorities said Thursday.

Wesley Snipes. The guy from “Girls Gone Wild”. And now Bar Refaeli. A Sports Illustrated starlet and one of Leo’s most famous exes. Famous folks going to the clink for tax evasion is as American (Israeli) as peanut butter and jelly (whatever is popular in Israel). What is indeed shocking here, however, is the amount. And timing.

Bar Refaeli owes the Israeli government the American equivalent of $6.1 million. Hollllly moly. That’s a lot of shekels, which is apparently what Israeli currency is actually called. That is a fuckton in back taxes and an amount I can only imagine was the fault of a business manager and not like, Bar herself getting a few million dollar checks she forgot about. Although models make so much Goddam money that her getting a big piece of paper and just framing it and forgetting about it Ricky Henderson-style would not at all shock me.

The timing is also a little ridiculous. I feel like the statute of limitations on back taxes should be like, a couple years tops. It’s just such an innocuous crime and really the government’s fault. Like if a teacher doesn’t ever check homework who’s fuckin fault is that? Bar Refaeli’s indiscretions in this case date back as far as almost a decade ago. GTFOH Israel. You snooze you lose. You want those Swimsuit Edition taxes maybe lay off the West Bank ten minutes and pay attention to the East General Ledger.

So pretty soon Bar Refaeli may go from the world’s hottest deserter to the world’s hottest prisoner. Hotter even than the “hot mugshot guy” who then divorced his ride or die for some heiress flunky. Maybe her and Leo will even get back together and have what will go down as the hottest conjugal visits in History.

One can only hope.

-Joey B

LeBron Does Know He Lost to the Warriors 3 Out of 4 Times in the NBA Finals Right? Right??

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I give LeBron credit for winning the NBA Finals in 2016 because the current era Golden State Warriors are one of the best teams of all time. But with that being said it took a Draymond Green suspension and one of the most cold blooded dagger threes of all-time from Kyrie Irving to get him there. He also lost to that same Warriors team in 2015, 2017, and 2018. So maybe releasing footage of yourself harping on how the Warriors fuck up all the time is not the best look. Self awareness has never been LeBron’s strong suit though.

This all comes just a couple of days after footage came out of LeBron crowning himself the greatest of all-time for winning the ’16 finals. Despite losing to that same team 3 out of 4 times.

I don’t want to always harp on LeBron, I really don’t, but he just sets himself up for it. Listen, LeBron has done a lot of great things:

He brought the city of Cleveland its first title in 50 years.

He was excellent in Trainwreck.

And he is one of the best players of all time, but despite an impressive 8 straight appearances in the championship round he is still 3-6 in the NBA Finals. So maybe, just maybe, one pretty impressive comeback against a really good team doesn’t propel you to GOAT status. If that were the case then Ray Allen could say the same thing for his Game 6 dagger 3 against the Spurs.

Come to think of it, if it weren’t for ice cold blood in the veins of Jesus Shuttlesworth and Kyrie, LeBron James would be 1-8 in the NBA Finals.

Unrelated note: Stumbled upon this incredible LeBron impersonation…

Despite All the Dirt Thrown On Him, Josh McDaniels Still Drawing Interest from Multiple Teams as Head Coach

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CBS Sports – Less than one year after spurning the Colts, it doesn’t appear that Josh McDaniels is going to have any issues finding a head coaching job this offseason if he wants one.

The Patriots offensive coordinator is expected to land multiple interviews over the next few weeks and it looks like one of those will be going down in Green Bay. According to NFL.com, the Packers are expected to hold an interview with McDaniels on Friday. Since the Patriots have a bye this week, McDaniels is allowed to interview for open jobs this weekend. The Packers moved quickly to land an interview with McDaniels with the team sending in a formal request to interview him just one day after the NFL regular season ended.

Despite all the dirt thrown on his name after backing out of the Colts job, Josh McDaniels is still very much in on several head coaching job openings this offseason.

And I love it.

This may be the height of my “Patriots against the world” complex, but hey thats what happens when everyone calls you a cheater and openly roots for your demise for over a decade. Thats also what makes winning so much sweeter though. So yes, rooting for Josh McDaniels to get a head coaching job primarily out of spite against anyone that talked ill of a Patriots employee is petty, bizarre even; I fully admit that. Doesn’t change the facts though.

“Besides the Packers, the Browns and Bengals have also requested to interview McDaniels. CBS Sports NFL Insider Jason La Canfora reported on Dec. 30 that the Browns owner Jimmy Haslam is “very high” on McDaniels, which could make Cleveland a wild-card in the sweepstakes for the Patriots offensive coordinator.”

This comes less than a year after talking heads around the interwebs all but buried the guy under Gillette Stadium. The simple fact of the matter though is who would you rather have? There are a TON of head coaching vacancies this offseason and not nearly enough competent names to fill them. Eight to be exact. Yup, the Browns, Packers, Jets, Broncos, Dolphins, Bucs, Bengals, and Cardinals are all in the market for a new head coach.

Now as always, this comes with the disclaimer that Josh McDaniels has worked under potentially the greatest head coach of all time along with the greatest quarterback of all time for years. Lets be honest, I could be Tom Brady’s offensive coordinator and the Pats would probably still win the division. So aside from a brief stint with the Broncos (11-17), it’s hard to really peg McDaniels’ true value.

But thats also what makes him such an intriguing candidate.

If I’m the owner of an NFL franchise do I want someone from the Belichick Coaching Tree (more on this in a moment) that is young, innovative, and has worked with the best in the business for the past 10+ years? Or do I want to hire a guy thats already been a head coach for a long time and has already proven multiple times that he’s not a difference maker? Would you rather hire Josh McDaniels or Jeff Fisher?

Granted the Belichick Coaching Tree hasn’t exactly flourished when Bill’s assistants have gone on to set up their own programs, but this is a quarterback driven league. A lot of these coaches simply haven’t had “the guy.”

Romeo Crennel (28-55) had Trent Dilfer, Charlie Frye, Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn, Matt Cassel, and Brady Quinn again at quarterback over the years before being axed for the final time. Eric Mangini (33-47) had Chad Pennington, 39-year-old Brett Favre, Brady Quinn (again!), and Colt McCoy at QB before he got axed for the final time. Charlie Weis (41-49) went over to the NCAA, which is an entirely different animal and failed at multiple schools. More recently we’ve seen Bill O’Brien (42-38) have moderate success in Houston, relatively speaking. Sure, he was rumored to be on the hot seat this year, but they’ve made the playoffs 3 out of the last 4 years. Before Deshaun Watson, O’Brien had Ryan Fitzpatrick, Brian Hoyer, Ryan Mallett, Brock Osweiller (which was his own fault), and Tom Savage. So now that he has an actual QB in Watson you see what that team is capable of. Not a lot of Pro Bowl quarterbacks in there guys. Then theres Matt Patricia (6-10), who’s first season in Detroit can be described as nothing but disastrous.

So 1 out of 5 ain’t good, but hey I’d rather take a chance on a young guy with a great pedigree than hire a guy that I KNOW will have my team going 8-8 every year.

Here are some of the other candidates with previous head coaching experience just to name a few.

  • Mike McCarthy (125-77-2, 10-8 in the playoffs)
  • Adam Gase (23-25, 0-1 in the playoffs)
  • Todd Bowles (26-41)
  • Bruce Arians (49-30, 1-2 in the playoffs)
  • Vance Joseph (11-21)
  • Jim Caldwell (62-50, 2-4 in the playoffs)

Do ANY of those candidates excite you if you’re a fan of one of those teams that has an opening at HC? Maybe Bruce Arians, but he retired after the 2017 season and would be the 3rd oldest coach in the NFL, were he to come back, behind only Belichick and Pete Carroll. I’m looking for someone at least *a little* bit different if I’m an owner. Hell I’d take a shot on Lincoln Riley (Riley legit just signed an extension with Oklahoma yesterday) or Kliff Kingsbury over any of those guys. Am I biased because I’m 29 and I want to see more young blood in the league? Yea, probably. But these teams that are mired in mediocrity year after year, make the same dumb decisions every season and wonder why they never go anywhere. Hell it took the Bengals 16 years to get out of their own way before finally firing Marvin Lewis and his 0-7 playoff record. (Although they might step right back into their own way and hire Hue Jackson)

So yea McDaniels is kind of a dick for leaving the Colts at the altar last offseason (and hosing a few assistants in the process). I can understand why you wouldn’t want to grab a beer with the guy. But this is the NFL where the only thing that matters are results and Josh McDaniels has 5 Super Bowl rings working with the Patriots in various roles. And before you say it’s all because of the head coach and the QB, whether thats true or not, the Offensive Coordinator of the Kansas City Chiefs, Eric Bieniemy is rumored to be a hot head coaching candidate despite this being his FIRST year as an OC. Why? Because of what the head coach and the QB have been able to do this season. This comes less than a year after Bieniemy’s predecessor Matt Nagy was hired by the Chicago Bears as their new head coach who also had just one year as an OC on his resume. So you can’t have it both ways folks — the OC matters or he doesn’t.

TLDR; I think Josh McDaniels is as good as gone this offseason and I’d take McDaniels over a ton of other guys in this league as a head coach. Now, Bill Belichick isn’t one of them though so if it’s between him and McDaniels? Best of luck, Josh!

#RushHourRap – Mobb Depp – Shook Ones (Part II)

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AIN’T NO SUCH THING AS HALF WAY CROOKS! Hands down, one of the absolute best tracks in hip hop history. Not to mention forever immortalized as the last instrumental beat in 8 Mile. True story: in college my roommates and I used to just skip the first 2 hours of the movie and pre-game to the final rap battles before going out. It’s literally been debated whether we can get away with playing the rap battles at my wedding (probably not). So yea, it’s a song that is burned into my brain for sure.

If you’re even a moderate rap fan, you need to check out Rapture on Netflix. There are episodes on Nas, Logic, TI, G-Eazy, 2 Chainz, and Just Blaze just to name a few. In the Just Blaze ep he actually goes to Havoc from Mobb Deep’s house to show how he literally puts the Shook Ones beat together. Builds it from the ground up. If you’re like me your brain will slowly melt when you see how the iconic beat comes together.

Obligatory:

Ending the Antonio Brown Patriots Trade Rumors Before They Even Begin

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Image result for antonio brown

Antonio Brown will not be playing for the Patriots next season. Period.

I’m here to let all of you know this now so that you’re not sitting there all offseason like a desperate high-school kid who heard about his longtime crush “having issues” with the douchey jock nobody likes, leading to delusions of grandeur and heartbreaking false hope.

Again: Antonio Brown is not going to be traded to the Patriots this offseason. Start to let that sink in now so you don’t get caught up in all the “Antonio Brown to the Patriots rumors” that the media will surely try and shove down our throats in the coming months.

Look, there’s no doubt that the Pittsburgh Steelers do not have the happiest of locker rooms right now. It all started with the Le’Veon Bell contract drama, and it’s all but certain that he’ll be playing elsewhere next season. Various sources have also claimed there’s some long-time beef and ill-feelings between Ben Roethlisberger and head coach Mike Tomlin, not to mention smaller rifts amongst other players and personnel.

And now, Antonio Brown is at it again. He was benched on Sunday due to skipping practices and allegedly getting in a public argument with Roethlisberger at practice last week. (So, no, his absence against the Benglas wasn’t due to a supposed leg injury).

Then, on Tuesday, Jason La Canfora of NFL.com reported that the 30-year-old receiver wanted out of the Steel City:

Many, including La Canfora himself, believe it’s all a bunch of hot air and that it’s very unlikely the Steelers give into his demands. But, hey, when there’s smoke there’s fire, and this certainly isn’t the first time Brown – or any Steelers player, for that matter – has expressed extreme frustration with the team or its still-somehow-employed head coach.

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Seriously, this guy is not a good coach.

But, even if the team does end up trading the receiver, it absolutely will not be to the Pats. I’ll tell you why.

First and foremost, Brown has an astronomical $22.2 million cap hit (!!!) for next season. Seriously, that number is BONKERS, and there is ZERO chance the Pats would be willing to pay anywhere near that much for pretty much anyone ever, let alone a 30-plus-year-old wide out. (He also then has two more years of $18-million-plus cap hits before hitting free agency as a 34-year-old in 2022.)

(UPDATE: Due to various – and often confusing – NFL/roster rules, acquiring Brown might not require his new team to pay the full $22.2 mill, but his contract is still probably too expensive for the Patriots’ liking.)

Secondly, we still don’t yet know exactly which direction Belichick & Co. want to take the roster this offseason. After offloading Brandin Cooks last year and letting guys like Danny Amendola and Dion Lewis walk, it would be surprising to see the team once again try and load up by going after older, expensive, big-name targets to pair with Brady – even though he desperately needs them. As I said they needed to do last week, the team may start looking more toward the future sooner rather than later, and acquiring Brown would seem to counteract that effort. Plus, I’d much rather see them use the money to lock down a guy like Trey Flowers, who is a free agent this offseason, for the long term.

Image result for trey flowers

Flowers is the future of the team’s D…if, of course, the team is actually willing to pay him.

Also, what happens if Brown comes here and Brady retires within the next 1-2 years? You think this guy would be content playing with anything less than a H.O.F.-level quarterback? No freakin’ way, man. No wayyyyy.

Finally, above all, I’m pretty sure the Steelers’ brass would rather hang themselves from the top of Heinz Field with a Terrible Towel before ever trading one of the game’s very best players to one of their biggest all-time rivals.  Unless the Pats were willing to give the Steelers their next half-decade’s worth of first-rounders and more, the Rooneys aren’t shipping him up here. Again: no freakin’ wayyyyy.

So, yes, while seeing A.B. in a Pats uniform would be a dream come true, I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that it’s just never going to happen – and you should, too. Sorry to break it to ya, Pats Nation.

Joey B’s Wednesday Morning Grab Bag

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This is sort of kind of the “Monday” of this week since a lot of people had Monday off and unless you work for commies, yesterday off was a given.

That said let’s grab bag it up a bit ya?

-In case you missed it, Amanda Nunes defied odds, physics, and whatever lab that went into creating Cris Cyroid’s bloodstream when she not only knocked out, but ran over the long-time Women’s Featherweight #1/UFC Champion. It was an absolute beat-down that no one saw coming. I love Amanda Nunes and was afraid to even watch. Tsk tsk to me.

-Jon Jones won as well. I personally am over the DC-Jones rivalry so I hope Jones fights a few contenders at 205 and DC fights Stipe and then Brock and calls it a career. There is just nothing to learn from a third match up between the longtime rivals.

-I know beating the Jets isn’t exactly a giant deal, but lest the rest of the NFL not understand that really what happened was the Jets continued to let the Pats get hot. Brady looked better than he has in weeks. Our backs got going. We were winning in the trenches on both sides of the ball and on the D side, getting great pressure. Stephon Gilmore looks unbeatable at this point. I’m not saying the Pats are going to get far, but they are heading into the playoffs on a roll and fairly healthy, with two weeks to heal up on top of that.

-I haven’t watched “Bird Box” or the “Black Mirror” movie and I don’t intend to. I know it seems like typical Joey B cynicism, but really I just don’t enjoy the “mind bending” stuff all that much. Just tell me a good story. Plus, I heard “Bird Box” is just a rip off of “A Quiet Place” plus a couple more recent thriller/horror movies.

-July 4, 2019 has been announced the release date for S3 of “Stranger Things”. As much as I am a gigantic fan of that show I wish they’d either release it more consistently or end it. It is just getting more annoying than anything else to have these long delays.

-Current ‘flix recommendations: “Frontier”, “Bodyguard”, “The Five”, “Redemption”. Currently watching “Bad Blood” and jury is out. Slow but ok mob story about real gangsters in Montreal.

-I’m going to start a weekly/bi-weekly blog on solid twitter account follows from the knowledgeable to the bizarre (mostly bizarre). Feel free to hit me @300sJoeyB with suggestions.

Red Sox Smartly Bring Back Carson Smith on Minor League Deal

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Image result for carson smith

On Sunday night, it was announced that the Red Sox re-signed reliever Carson Smith to a minor-league contract – and it could truly end up being one of the league’s most underrated moves this offseason:

Some of you out there may not be too familiar with the 29-year-old righty, and for good reason – since being traded here from Seattle before the 2016 season, Smith has pitched in a total of just 31 games.

However, he is a very talented relief guy, who relies primarily on a nice slider/sinker combo that’s helped him compile a really impressive 11.4 strikeouts per nine innings over his career. He’s not necessarily a flame-thrower, but he has a slightly deceptive side-arm delivery that helps keep opposing hitters off balance. Also, his stat line from his last fully healthy season in 2015 reads like this: 70 innings, 2.31 ERA, 1.01 WHIP, and 11.8 K/9.

Image result for carson smith

Smith gave up a total of just 18 earned runs in 78.1 innings while in Seattle from 2014-2015.

Those are some pretty lights-out numbers, but those are also from three years ago. As I said, some may be surprised to hear that Smith’s actually been on the team’s roster so long, but two injuries – one being due to chance and the other being due to his temper – have kept him on the shelf for most of his time in The Bean.

Smith missed all but three games in what was supposed to be his first season in a Sox uniform due to Tommy John surgery, and he did not return until late 2017, the following year. He then only played in eight games that season, but gave up just one run and struck out seven across 6.2 innings of work. He did also pitch 1.1 scoreless innings in the postseason that year, giving up just two hits.

Therefore, the team was pretty excited to have him in the bullpen at the beginning of 2018. However, it didn’t go as well as planned; after giving up four earned runs across his first four appearances, Smith was eventually able to settle down toward the end of April. But then, after a rough outing in mid-May, Smith suffered a subluxation in his shoulder after aggressively throwing his glove on the ground in the dugout (no, but really), which then ended up costing him the rest of the year. (Even worse was the fact he basically blamed Alex Cora for the injury due to “overuse,” an excuse for which Cora then called out his reliever publicly. Yeah, it wasn’t a great look for anyone involved.)

Regardless of what has happened in the past, it seems as though the Sox are willing to take the chance on him with a low-risk, prove-it deal, and I am totally on board. During an offseason in which the Sox are a bit cash-strapped and don’t really have the capital to bring in one of the bigger names left on the free-agent market, this was exactly what they should have done. They truly can’t lose here; in fact, they may just end up with one the biggest steals in the game by season’s end.

So here’s to letting bygones be bygones and hoping that Smith can rediscover his previous form. Fingers crossed, Sox Nation.