Tag: News

Science Proves Once Again That My Life is Hell with Boston Traffic Study

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Boston Globe – “Boston must have the worst rush-hour traffic in the country. Now you can back that up with numbers. Gridlock during the peak of the morning and evening commutes was worse in Boston in 2018 than in any other major metropolitan area, even Los Angeles with its infamous traffic, according to a report from Inrix, a transportation data firm that publishes annual rankings of congestion around the world.”

Well I’m glad the tweets that I fire off in a blind rage during my commute aren’t completely falling on deaf ears. I can’t say I’m entirely surprised by this study though.

“Essentially, Inrix measured the time penalty for driving during rush hour, and there Boston topped the list of US cities: Commuters who drove at the worst peak hour conditions would have spent 164 hours in traffic that they would have avoided under regular conditions. On this metric, Los Angeles ranked sixth, behind Washington, D.C., Seattle, Chicago, and New York.”

Well no kidding. I can get to my office on a Saturday morning in like 15 minutes, but 8 am on a Monday? That’s an hour. 5 pm on a Wednesday? 90 minutes maybe.

It also didn’t help that the city of Boston decided it would be a good idea to REMOVE A LANE on Storrow Drive, one of the most congested areas of traffic in the entire city. Ya know it’s only where 93 flows into North Station, the Museum of Science, and Cambridgeside Galleria, which is the only mall in the area.

If you look at some of my tweets from my time spent sitting in traffic over the years, you can actually see my will to live remain gainfully employed slowly deteriorating.

BREAKING: Dolphins Reportedly Stealing Away Brian Flores

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Right in the middle of getting geared up for this weekend’s divisional round showdown, Pats Nation found out late this afternoon that they’re reportedly about to lose one of their own.

NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport first broke the news this afternoon:

It has since been corroborated by guys like Bert Breer, one of the industry’s leading talking heads:

First and foremost, congrats to Brian Flores, who is getting his first crack at running an NFL team at just 37 years old. Truly. This could be the opportunity of a lifetime. The trend in the league lately seems to be hiring fresh faces as opposed to falling on bad habits and recycling older, failed former coaches. With guys like Sean McVay (32) killing it out in Los Angeles, and others like Kliff Kingsbury (39, Arizona) and Matt LeFleur (39, Green Bay) being hired as first-timers just this week, I guess the news shouldn’t be so surprising.

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The young hotshot certainly started quite the trend.

Since first coming to the Pats as an assistant in the scouting department in 2004 – after a pretty solid career as a linebacker at Boston College – Flores has continued to ascend at a rapid pace, making his way onto the team’s coaching staff just four years later. He’s worn many different hats over the past decade, but he finally got his real shot at glory when he was given the responsibility of calling the defensive plays this year after Matt Patricia bounced to Detroit.

The fact that he’s only been in such a prominent position for such a short period of time makes the move even more interesting. But, in truth, he was even being looked at as a candidate by some teams last offseason, and his defense did allow the seventh-least amount of points per game in the league this year (20.7). And, again, teams around the league seem to finally be flouting the idea of “experience over everything,” and instead seem willing to roll the dice on newer guys with new ideas.

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Seems like teams are finally learning to leave guys like Ole Jeff in the dust.

To be honest, though, the news has got to be a bit deflating to guys around the locker room right now. Here you are zoning in on the first postseason obstacle facing you in just two days, and you learn that one of your coaches is likely off to sunnier skies next year – win or lose.

Now, it is important to note that nothing is official yet. Flores has yet to sign any contract or issue any public statement regarding the news – and likely won’t say anything at all until, at the very least, next week – but the writing seems to be on the wall. He’s heading to South Beach.

I want to be clear that I am not criticizing him for taking the role, if he so chooses, and I really am happy for him. The timing is just a bit of a bummer – but, as they say, that’s showbiz, baby!

I’m sure, though, as a Belichick disciple, he knows how to ignore the noise and still get the boys ready for the Chargers on Sunday. We’ll be just fine. I’ll stop raining on the parade.

Congrats to Brian Flores. I’m just sorry that I have to hate you now.

Buy or Sell: Tom Brady’s Plans to “Not only Play Next Year, but Beyond That”

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As he does every week, Tom Brady spoke with his buddy Jim Gray of Westwood One on Monday – which also just so happened to be Christmas Eve – and gave Patriots fans what many of them may blindly believe to be the greatest gift they’ll receive this holiday season: his renewed commitment to playing for the long term.

When asked if he’d be playing next season, at the ripe age of 42, Brady said:

“I absolutely believe I will. I know I’ve talked about it for a long time: I have goals to not only play next year, but beyond that. I’m going to try to do it as best I possibly can. I’m going to give it everything I have, like I always have.”

In a vacuum, that quote sounds great. The winningest QB of all time saying that he’s not going anywhere, continuing to display the resolve of a lion refusing to give up his place as the alpha on the Serengeti? Talk about some much-needed motivation for a post-Christmas return to the office!

But, in reality, is what he said really a good thing?

Mattes! How could you??!! That’s Tom FUCKIN’ Brady! The G.O.A.T! The greatest thing to ever happen to the Pats, and possibly New England as a whole! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!

Look, I’m not denying any of those things. Brady is arguably the greatest athlete in Boston sports history, and for all that he’s done he does deserve the chance to at least try to play as long as he possibly can.

However, the Pats cannot continue to blindly place all of their confidence in Brady’s determination and bravado, completely ignoring the fact that this is man who has already far exceeded the shelf life of most NFL quarterbacks. Yes, what he’s done so far is pretty damn impressive, but let’s also not forget that Brady is indeed still a human being.

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OK, mayyybeee, he’s a bit more special than most humans.

As they say, Father Time always wins, and I believe we’re finally starting to see the old man get his licks in on the legend. Sure, Brady’s 4,105 passing yards and 25 touchdowns this year are still Pro-Bowl-worthy marks, but his 11 interceptions are also the most he’s had since 2013 and are two higher than his career average (with one game still left to play).

Sure. Maybe the 11 picks aren’t all that alarming on paper, but you can’t tell me there haven’t been times this year where you haven’t looked at the T.V. going: “Really, Tommy? What the HELL was that throw?”

All I’m saying is that whether it’s due to his old age, a supposedly “minor” knee issue, or the fact that the offense is in a state of flux, Brady hasn’t looked as infallible or fluid as usual, even being just one year removed from an MVP season. And I’m sorry, but no matter how many tofu cakes he consumes or how many tomatoes he refuses to eat, he’s not going to recuperate like he used to.

So, what are you saying then, Mattes??!! Do you really think we should get rid of Brady?!

NO! Not right now at least. But if we go another offseason without so much as giving a thought to life after Brady, I’m going to be pretty heated. I’m not too upset about them passing on Lamar Jackson this year at the end of the first round, but after trading Jimmy Garoppolo, the team has nothing in terms of future QB prospects.

To be fair, not many teams are lucky enough to have a guy waiting in the wings once a legend decides – or is forced – to hang ’em up for good. But the smart teams DO at least make an effort. The Colts made the tough decision to tank and move on from Peyton Manning in order to nab Andrew Luck. The Packers picked Aaron Rodgers, knowing it would piss Brett Favre off, and while Rodgers had to wait three years to finally get his shot, the Packers barely skipped a beat. Hell, the 49ers even traded Joe Montana in favor of Steve Young, and I’d say that one worked out pretty well.

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Hopefully, this one doesn’t come back to bite the Pats down the line.

The point is that a tough decision is going to have to be made soon. And, if we’re being entirely honest, it’s probably going to come down to the team forcing the player’s hand, because at this point I doubt Brady goes anywhere until he is literally physically unable to move.

But the Pats can’t wait that long. They can’t just sit around expecting 3-5 more years of greatness and then just, I don’t know, hope for the best? Because once Brady starts to slip, it’s likely going continue rapidly, as was the case with many before him. (And, like I said, I think we’re already starting to see it.) Or, even worse, as age and body ailments continue to mount, Brady is forced to suddenly retire, against his will and good intentions, leaving the Pats with absolutely ZILCH (and likely a very looooong rebuild).

And – I hope you’re sitting down for this one – if the opportunity comes along where a team is willing to part with a hefty amount of assets in order to bring in that one piece that will take them over the top, then the Pats shouldn’t hesitate to trade Brady.

I’m not saying to simply trade the guy for a first-round pick; he deserves better than that. And I’m not saying we should necessarily do it this offseason. But what if there’s a team out there that is willing to trade multiple draft picks and, say, a top-50 player who’s still in his mid-to-late 20s in order to acquire him? Bill & Co. would be foolish to not at least consider it.

Even outside of the QB position, the Pats have a dearth of young talent on the roster, and even with Brady right now, the Patriots are not the automatic AFC champions that they used to be. And continuing to place their full confidence on Brady’s lip-service and accolades alone could come back to bite the franchise in a big way once the TB12 era is all said and done.

So, I’m happy that still you love the game, Tommy, and I know that the day you’re no longer donning a Pats uniform will truly be one of the saddest of my life. But I’m also not ignorant, and it’s time for Pats Nation to take off those Brady-colored glasses and start looking toward the future.

Alex Reimer Sets Record Straight on WEEI’s Red Sox Radio Broadcast Changes

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So it seems like The Boston Globe may have jumped the gun a bit earlier this week when they reported that WEEI planned to change their Red Sox radio broadcast format to more of a talk-show type of deal.

They left it pretty open as to exactly what the hell that even meant, but they seemed pretty damn confident in reporting that it was a real thing that was happening.

After the report was then refuted by WEEI’s Program Director Joe Zarbano, Chad Finn – whom initially reported the “story” – then doubled-down and referred to the email which alerted him to the official job posting for the open Sox play-by-play announcer position. At the same time, Zarbano has held firm in his response:

So, as of Thursday morning, all we had to go off of were a series of “he said/she said” tweets, which meant that either somebody got a lead on something they shouldn’t have, or they were entirely duped by a completely misleading email.

I’m now more inclined to believe it was the latter.

The official job posting from the Sportcasters Talent Agency of America makes ZERO mention of a “talk show format” in any way, BUT Finn did release the text of the industry-wide email promoting the posting, which said the following:

There is an opening on the Boston Red Sox radio play-by-play team following Tim Neverett’s decision not to renew his contract.

The Boston Globe has reported about plans for major changes to this broadcast format. STAA knows these plans to be true. WEEI wants to drop the concept of a conventional radio baseball broadcast to make the call of the game sound more like a talk show.

WEEI [program director] Joe Zarbano is eager to receive applications. However, he tells STAA he doesn’t want to be bombarded with email attachments.

So, to be fair, I totally get where Finn was coming from, but like Zarbano said, maybe, I don’t know, he should’ve checked in with the actual radio station first?

WEEI’s Alex Reimer then wrote an article early Thursday afternoon, and he said that the misleading information from the STAA email most likely comes from the fact that the station is thinking about adding one more person to the booth in an effort to create more chatter (and apparently rumors about this have been out there for a while). They want it to have a more conversational tone, which allows for more colorful analysis and insight, and above all it should help to add more excitement to what can at times be a very dull platform.

The three-person broadcast team has gained a lot of popularity, across multiple sports, in recent years, and it’s been met with great success. I’m totally on board with this.

So thanks to Reimer for clearing up that weird early-morning B.S. from yesterday, and here’s to hoping WEEI is able to find a solid trio who can get it done and finally bring the archaic station into the future.

Dutch Man Asks to Legally Change His Age; Court Says No, but He Doesn’t Care

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'I can choose my own life and my own holiday and my own name and my own gender, so why can't I choose my own age?' Emile Ratelband told CNN.

(CNN) — Age cannot wither him — whatever a courtroom might rule.

Dutchman Emile Ratelband insists his quest to turn the clock forward on his birth certificate is not over, despite a judge on Monday dismissing his request to legally become a younger man.

The 69-year-old father-of-seven had applied to legally have two decades shaved off his age, comparing his request with those from people seeking to switch their gender.

The bizarre exercise was motivated by Ratelband’s desire to make himself more attractive to members of the opposite sex on Tinder and other dating apps. Being younger would also boost his job prospects, he argued.

…

Nevertheless Ratelband sounded anything but deflated following the ruling. “We plan to appeal right away,” the self-defined positivity guru told CNN.

We here at The 300s typically try to keep things tied to sports, music, movies, and other forms of entertainment as much as possible. We know you’re here for fun, cheeky banter and unique takes on those subjects which hopefully help get you through the humdrum work week.

But sometimes there are stories – ones that step outside the normal realm – that we can’t let slip by. Get a load of this complete joke of a human being.

This guy wants to say he’s 20 years younger than he actually is, simply because he wants to get laid (and “get a better job” *wink wink*), and he is comparing his “plight” to that of others who struggle with real identity crises and the discrimination they face each and every day.

GOT IT.

I have never rooted so hard for somebody to lose a case in my entire life, and I hope that this little plan of his backfires so hard that nobody wants to hire him ever again, not due to his age but simply due to the fact he’s an absolute clown.

Look, I’m all for someone shooting their shot. Seriously, that’s my life’s motto: “shoot your shot.” Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

But this is just insanity, and it’s stuff like this which delegitimizes other people’s valid claims of mistreatment, many of which now often go ignored due to the overwhelming stream of garbage self-pity campaigns and people’s incessant desire to be the center of attention.

And how about the audacity of this D-bag???!!! Check out this quote he gave just the other day: “My older son is 42 and he says ‘when you become 49 you will be more like a big brother than a father to me.’ But I say that’s OK as most people think I’m your big brother and not your father anyway.”

The part that scares me the most is not the fact that people now have the gall to actually bring forth cases like this; the scariest part is the fact that he is going to appeal, and I would not be surprised in the slightest if he somehow won.

There’s no question that we live in an increasingly progressive society, which more often than not is a very, very good thing that has helped bring a lot of positive change to the world. But it’s also opened the door for everyone and their brother to complain about everything and make issues out of non-legitimate B.S. that does not matter one iota to the world at large.

They’re even going after freakin’ Rudolph now!!!

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In recent years: same-sex couples won the right marry across the country; people aren’t being thrown away for life anymore for smoking a joint; trans individuals won the right to keep the rights they worked so hard for in Massachusetts – all awesome things!

But some of this other stuff has to stop, and if Ratelband wins his appeal I will take the first Virgin Galactic tourist flight to outer space – which allegedly could happen by the end of this year – and just fucking stay there.

Stay strong, European court system. For everyone’s sake.

One of Patriots All-Time Unsung Heroes Gets 8 Years in Prison

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It’s really been an AWFUL year for the once vaunted “Legion of Boom.”

Once perhaps the most fearsome quartet in the entire NFL, former Seahawks defensive secondary mates Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor, Earl Thomas, and Brandon Browner probably can’t wait for 2018 to finally be over in a just a few weeks.

Sherman had an ugly breakup with the team last offseason and is stuck in San Francisco. Chancellor suffered a severe neck injury at the end of 2017 and, while still technically on the Seahawks roster, looks like he might be forced to hang ’em up for good. Thomas – after a very public contract dispute and self-promotion campaign – sustained a gruesome leg injury against the Cardinals this past September, effectively ending his season and, most likely, also his career in Seattle.

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This will likely forever be known as Thomas’s swan song in a Seattle uniform.

But nobody’s having a worse time than Brandon Browner right now, as the 34-year-old, two-time Super Bowl champion was sentenced to eight years in prison today after committing a ridiculous string of crimes – including FOUR felonies – over the past year alone.

Rather than regale you with the details of Browner’s abhorrent spree – which includes everything from making threats to drug possession to burglary and, finally, to both attempted kidnapping AND attempted murder – the guy has gone completely off the rails. It’s a really sad story, but I guess it’s not so surprising coming from a guy who wasn’t very well-liked outside of his own locker room and who also set the NFL record for penalties in a single season in 2015.

What’s really sad about all of it, though, is the fact that Browner should truly be considered one of the most important players in Patriots history, but his memory will now be forever grossly tainted.

I’m dead serious. Hear me out.

There’s a huge difference between being one of the “greatest” and one of the “most important,” and Browner is certainly one of the latter. While everyone gives Malcolm Butler all the credit for picking off Russell Wilson to end Super Bowl XLIX, giving the Pats their fourth championship, it probably doesn’t happen without Browner.

Watch No. 39 in the bottom right corner of the screen for the duration of the play before Butler makes the interception:

Did you see what he did there? He sets an absolutely PERFECT pick on Seahawks then-No. 1 wide receiver Jermaine Kearse, allowing Butler to sneak around the block and cut off what would have been a perfect, wide-open throwing lane for Wilson, which would have resulted in a cupcake touchdown for Seattle and a heartbreaking defeat for the Pats.

Yes, Butler still needs to catch the ball. And no, I’m not saying Browner deserves all the shine – after all, Butler was the one had to actually haul it in. I am saying, though, that if Browner isn’t there on that play, Tom Brady still only has four rings to his name. No doubt in my mind.

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It’s hard to find much out there about Browner’s vital involvement on the play, but at least Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio agrees with me: (link to Florio’s take). Browner’s strong play all year was also a huge part of the reason the Pats were even there in the first place.

But look, I’m not trying to sit here and wax poetic about a guy who absolutely deserves to be put away for a long time after everything he’s done. I’m just saying that it’s obvious this man has always had some issues up top, and it’s sad he never received the help he so desperately needed.

Maybe his antics throughout his entire career – and the almost unbelievable crimes he’s committed recently – were truly a cry for help, or at least a neon-bright sign for an unstable individual. Or maybe he’s really just a P.O.S. and I’m an asshole for saying anything nice about him. Regardless, here’s to hoping eight years in the pen allows Browner to finally find his peace – for both he and everyone else around him’s sake.

Boston Dynamics Releases New Footage of Robot Jumping Over Things, and We Should All Be Scared Shitless

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Yesterday, Boston Dynamics released a new video of its “darling” robot Atlas jumping over/on to different objects in their lab, basically looking like Barry Sanders in his prime, for legitimately no other reason than the fact they think it’s cool.

For those who don’t know who or what Boston Dynamics is, here’s a solid two-liner from Wikipedia that sums them up: Boston Dynamics is an American engineering and robotics design company founded in 1992 as a spin-off from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Headquartered in Waltham, Massachusetts, Boston Dynamics is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Japanese conglomerate SoftBank Group.

And if you’d like to watch the terrifying video I referred to above, here it is:

Why? No but really, though: WHY???!!

Have we learned NOTHING from Sarah and John Connor??!! It’s all fun and games until Skynet launches and we’re overtaken by machines because someone just HAD to teach a piece of metal how to do parkour.

Here’s another video featuring more of their frightening and entirely unnecessary creations:

https://youtu.be/3OKZ_n8QW4w

“Spot” and “Big Dog” are the stuff of nightmares. And how about the fucking Roomba that can JUMP OVER A GODDAMN BUILDING??!!

OH, and did you know that Boston Dynamics actually developed “Big Dog” as a weapon for the U.S. military? But don’t worry, guys! They’re absolutely HARMLESS.

Also, if you’ve seen Kingsman: The Golden Circle (awesome movie, by the way), you can’t tell me this isn’t immediately where your mind went after watching that horror show:

Apparently, the company has been in existence since 1992, and we’re still standing, so maybe some might think I’m overreacting a bit. But back then most people thought the idea of sending a text message was impossible, and let’s just say technology has made quite a leap over the last quarter-century.

Nothing about this is cool. Stop glorifying it. And seriously, somebody go get John Connor!

Bridgeport, Conn. Woman Loses Fingers After Lighting Dynamite She Thought Was Candle

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BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — A woman blew off several fingers when she accidentally lit a quarter stick of dynamite in her home Thursday night, officials said.

Assistant Fire Chief Michael Caldaroni, who was the battalion chief at the scene, said the woman lit what she thought was a candle during the power outage caused by the severe storm that hit the city Thursday night. Instead, police spokesman Av Harris said, she lit a quarter stick of dynamite.

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You really can’t make this stuff up.

Let me just start off by saying that this sounds absolutely horrific, and I sincerely feel for this woman. BUT SERIOUSLY WTF???!!!

Like HOW??!! I have so many questions.

First and foremost, where in the literal EFF do you even get a stick of dynamite? And if it’s in your house, HOW DO YOU NOT EVEN KNOW??

“Honey, have we checked our emergency items stash in a while? Let’s see…we got backup flashlights, batteries, blankets, gallons of water…OK, good…OH and OF COURSE a stick of fucking dynamite!”

Secondly, how long did it take her to realize it wasn’t a candle? In reality, it should’ve taken 0.5 seconds considering that I assume a quarter stick of dynamite does not look or feel anything like a candle aside from its shape and maybe the fact there’s typically a wick on top. But once that wick starts disappearing at a rapid rate and sizzling, that should’ve been a pretty solid tip off.

Apparently, after her children called 911, police and fire officials also found another item that appeared to be a “makeshift firework” somewhere in the house.

Knowing that little tidbit of info, here’s my hypothesis: One of her brilliant offspring was messing around with illegal explosives and left one of their little “inventions” lying around the house. This poor woman, who was just trying to shed some light for the family during a blackout, is now maimed because of it.

Way to go, junior!

At this point, I am so done feeling bad for people who mess around with fireworks and other things that go BOOM. Sure, I don’t mind checking out a sweet display of explosions and color on a nice July night from a safe distance, but seriously don’t bring one of those things near me. Leave it to the professionals, people; I don’t even mess with freakin’ sparklers.

So, let’s let this be a lesson for everyone, and cheers to a speedy recovery for this woman.

But, wow. Just wow. Happy Friday.

Cape Cod Shark-Attack Victim “Punched” Shark to Escape, Making Dane Cook Proud

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William Lytton, of Scarsdale, N.Y., is seated in a wheelchair while taking a break from physical therapy at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital, in Boston, Tuesday, Aug. 28, 2018, while recovering from a shark attack. Lytton suffered deep puncture wounds to his leg and torso after being attacked by a shark on Aug. 15, 2018 while swimming off a beach, in Truro, Mass. Lytton injured a tendon in his arm while fighting off the shark. (AP Photo/Steven Senne)

Photo credit: Steven Senne/Associated Press

TRURO, Mass. — The man bitten by a shark off Cape Cod this month said on Tuesday he escaped by punching the powerful predator in the gills after it clamped down on his leg.

In his first interview since the Aug. 15 attack , William Lytton said he’d been swimming in about “8 to 10 feet” (2.4 to 3 meters) of water off Truro, Massachusetts, when he felt an incredible pain shoot through his left leg and quickly realized he was being attacked by a shark.

The 61-year-old neurologist from Scarsdale, New York, said he gave the animal a strong smack in the gills with his left hand, a move that likely saved his life but also resulted in some torn tendons. He now sports an arm cast as well as bandages and a brace around most of his left leg.

“I initially was terrified, but, really, there was no time to think,” he said, recounting the ordeal following a physical therapy session at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital in Boston, where he’s been since Sunday. “It doesn’t feel like I did anything heroic. A lot of this was luck.”

What a legend.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock recently, you know that going to the beach down the Cape this summer has been more dangerous than wearing a Big Papi jersey in the Bronx. There have been shark sightings up the wazz this year, from Nauset all the way up to Plymouth, and one man, William Lytton, almost lost his life after being attacked by one in Truro just a few weeks ago.

But now we get the full story: A 61-year-old man goes toe-to-toe with the world’s most fearsome predator, and not only comes out alive but made the jabroni shark swim away after one solid throw of the hand. (Jason Statham, eat your heart out.)

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Look, Lytton is not the first man to pull off the feat; this scenario has happened elsewhere before, as evidenced by the once-great Dane Cook back in 2003:

(I’m sure if the Massachusetts-native heard this story, he was grinning from ear to ear with his 19-year-old girlfriend, who was FOUR at the time this bit came out. Not trying to be judgmental here, and best of luck to the seemingly happy couple, but that’s just kinda crazy to think about.)

But let’s not take Mr. Lytton’s tale as a solid reason to start jumping back in the water again. The guy still almost died, had six surgeries (and likely needs even more plus weeks of rehab), and still GOT BITTEN BY A SHARK.

I know many people out there have the whole “please, it happens to like 1 in every kajillion people in the water” mentality, but I’m not taking any chances. Every time we’re at the beach, my girlfriend and I have a Mexican stand-off, where I stay on the sand and hyperventilate as I watch her swim around blissfully in the ocean. I may go out to the waist, but that water line isn’t touching the nipples or neck. No way, Jose.

So, once again, kudos to Mr. Lytton on a pretty legendary story and what will hopefully be a full recovery. But sharks are still sharks, people. Let’s not get too cocky here.

NBA Considers Three Rule Changes for 2018-19, and It’s All About the Offense, Baby

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Image result for nba shot clock

Bleacher Report – The NBA is reportedly exploring potential rule changes involving the shot clock and foul calls that would trigger a replay review.

Per ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, the NBA competition committee is recommending resetting the shot clock to 14 seconds after offensive rebounds and expanding the definition of what constitutes a “hostile act” for the purpose of replay review. 

Wojnarowski added the NBA board of governors is likely to pass the rule changes at their meetings on Sept. 20-21 before going to the teams for approval. The measures will need two-thirds of the owners to approve in order to pass. 

Unlike the NFL, which has faced a lot of backlash for many of the rule changes they’ve implemented lately, what the NBA is trying to do here makes a lot of sense.

It’s pretty clear that the changes are being proposed in an effort to increase pace of play and promote more scoring chances for both teams on the floor each night.

First and foremost, decreasing the shot clock from 24 to 14 seconds after an offensive rebound should actually increase the amount of total shot attempts per game. Some may think that less time on the clock means less opportunity to take a shot, but in reality it’ll force teams to hoist it up more quickly, ultimately causing for more changes in possession and more opportunity for both sides to score the ball.

It’ll also force some of the old-school teams (i.e. San Antonio, Memphis) to get away from the traditional half-court style of play that seems to be becoming more and more extinct with each passing year. The NBA has been embracing the run-and-gun, fast-paced style of play for quite some time now, and teams that don’t start getting with the program are soon going to be left in the dust. Teams now need players at pretty much every position who can get out and run in transition (a la Golden State, Philadelphia, New Orleans, the Lakers), and who also display the ability to quickly adapt to abrupt changes in play. This rule change would only enhance the advantage those teams currently have.

tom cruise maverick GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All Time

The rule is already in place in both the G League and the WNBA, and the NBA did actually experiment with the rule already in this year’s Summer League. Apparently the league was pleased with the results.

The expansion of what constitutes a clear-path foul will also only further aid transitional offense. No longer will the defender need to be between the offensive player and the basket to be in violation, as now the rule will penalize defenses from stopping the fast-break altogether. Per Wojnarowski:

Under the changes to the clear-path rule, a clear path to the basket would be in play in these three instances:

• “A personal foul is committed on any offensive player during his team’s transition scoring opportunity.”

• “When the foul occurs, the ball is ahead of the tip of the circle in the backcourt, no defensive player is ahead of the offensive player with the scoring opportunity and that offensive player is in control of the ball or a pass to him has been released.”

• “The defensive foul deprives the offensive team of a transition scoring opportunity.”

Finally, the league also wants to expand what constitutes a “hostile act” to now explicitly include interactions with referees and fans, instead of only concerning the players on the court. (I guess, even after all these years, the “Malice at the Palace” still weighs heavy on the mind of some NBA execs.)

My reaction to the news basically amounts to this:

joey tribbiani whatever GIF

Do I think it’s going to significantly increase the score of each game? I mean, I guess we might actually see the average total score in a typical game go up a few notches. But does it really matter? Teams are already putting up ungodly offensive numbers every night, and I don’t think the Steph Currys or James Hardens of the world need more opportunity for extra buckets.

But if the goal is to promote pace of play and a more exciting product that keeps fans on the edge of their seats all game rather than being bogged down by sometimes painfully dull half-court, turtle-paced offenses then I guess that’s fine. (This ain’t Saturday morning pickup ball at the Y, people.)

We’ll likely have the official word on all three proposed changes by early October at the latest. For now, stay tuned.