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Mattes

Pronounced like the general. I'm all about the Celtics, Pats, Sox, and fantasy football...and dogs. Former editor who's back on that writing flow, chiming in on all of the above, with perhaps some comic book news and conspiracy-fueled personal manifestos along the way.

Craig Kimbrel and His Insane Beard Likely on the Way Out of Boston

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So it looks like there’ll be a lot less facial hair and excessive body-leaning in the ninth inning for the Sox next season. (Seriously, though, Kimbrel’s pre-pitch shtick drives me NUTS. I don’t exactly know why, but I’ve always hated it.)

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WHY, though??!!

On Monday, Sox GM Dave Dombroski issued this little nugget about the 30-year-old free agent and the likelihood of him being back in Boston next season:

OK then.

Even though this technically doesn’t mean anything for certain, Dombrowski’s always been pretty direct, and he’s typically not one to beat around the bush. His comments yesterday combined with the fact that Kimbrel is allegedly looking for a six-year deal (LOL!!!) pretty much signals the end for the bearded one’s time in The Bean.

Easily the game’s top closer for the first five years of his career in Atlanta (186 saves and a 1.43 ERA in 289 innings), Kimbrel has been a bit up-and-down since, hovering between above-average and dominant for the past four seasons, the last three of which being with the Sox.

With the Sox, Kimbrel has seen his seasonal ERA go from 3.40 to 1.43 to 2.74, further demonstrating the inconsistency he’s shown ever since leaving the Peach State. Such is the risk you take with most flamethrowers as they get older, and overall his time in Boston was likely more “good” than “bad.”

BUT there’s no denying the fact that he was atrocious this past postseason, sporting a 5.91 ERA and allowing 19 baserunners in just 10.2 innings pitched. (And this was after a season in which he sported the second-highest walk rate and the highest home-run rate of his career.) Somehow, he never technically blew a save in October, but he certainly wasn’t one of the reasons the Sox won the Series this year. In fact, he was probably one of the main reasons why they could’ve just as easily lost.

But again, I’m not trying to tear the guy down on his way out. After all, he was pretty damn good at times here, and when he’s on his game he can be downright untouchable. However, he’s not “six years” or “$16 million per year” good anymore, and I agree that it’s time to part ways.

I’m with ya on this one, Dave. Now who are we gonna get to replace him?

Williams, Morris Shine Against Anthony Davis and the Celtics Are Surging

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Photo credit: Charles Krupa/Associated Press

As already noted earlier today by Red, what a night it was for Bob at the Garden on Monday! His performance helped the Celtics win their seventh game in their last eight tries, and it really seems like The Green are starting to turn it on.

The Celtics rookie played a season-high 26 minutes against New Orleans and proved exactly why he was being projected by many as a lottery pick before this past June’s draft. His seven points and 11 boards were solid enough, but he also compiled three blocks – TWO of which were on none other than Anthony Davis.

Even more impressive is the fact that he held Davis to 7-of-17 shooting overall on the night; so, yes, while Davis did score 41, over half of those points were actually allowed by Daniel Theis and others besides Williams who covered The Brow last night. Bob also showed incredible discipline, playing so aggressively yet only committing one foul and zero turnovers.

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The rookie big man was all over Davis last night.

Red and I have been telling you since July that this kid was going to be something special, and we got our vindication last night. This is just a sign of things to come.

Another 300s favorite, Marcus Morris, was also huge in last night’s win. He posted 31 points to go along with four rebounds and four assists. Ever since being inserted into the starting lineup at the end of November along with Marcus Smart, Morris has averaged over 15 points per game.

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This man has kept on rolling all year long.

Brad Stevens’ choice to switch things up a few weeks ago has proven to be a very underrated (and potentially season-saving) move. Replacing Gordon Hayward and Jaylen Brown in the starting lineup for Morris and Smart may have sounded foolish just three months ago, but there is no doubt that the decision has injected some much-needed life into this team; the Celtics are undefeated through four games in December, and they have lost just once since Thanksgiving. I know that “season-saving” may sound a bit melodramatic, but this was a team that had lost five of their previous nine beforehand, and something needed to be done – and quickly – to get the team back on track.

Kudos on that one, Brad.

And what’s even better is that neither Hayward nor Brown have suffered as a result of the move, as both are still a huge part of the rotation and are each playing well over 20 minutes per night. Though Brown missed three games after injuring his back against Dallas on November 24, he’s averaged over 20 points per game in three games since returning. Hayward has been a bit more inconsistent and is still trying to find his groove, but his 30-point explosion against Minnesota on December 1 should give fans hope that he’s not too far off.

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Hopefully, this was Hayward’s coming-out party.

The team now currently sits fifth in the East, which is certainly not where most expected them to be this far into the season. Alas, don’t worry, Celtics Nation; it is still early and we’ve seen plenty of encouraging things over the past couple weeks which leads me to believe they’ll be just fine in the end.

Next up is a matchup with the Wizards on Wednesday night. The Celts then get Atlanta, Detroit, and Phoenix before a Friday night showdown against the No. 2-seed Bucks just before Christmas.

So while November was a bit of a rough patch, I’ve been liking what I’ve been seeing lately, boys! Keep it up!

Patriots Dolphins Postgame Thoughts and Quick Hits

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Yeah. Wow. I’m just as speechless as everyone else is right now. That was about the worst way imaginable to lose a game.

But, in truth, the Dolphins shouldn’t have even had the ability to win the game on that final drive. The Pats left a lot of points on the table in this one, and there were numerous mistakes and missed opportunities that allowed Miami to even have a snowball’s chance to win in the end.

TWO missed kicks from Gostkowski; an inexcusable sack taken by Brady to end the first half; a pathetic effort on the ground against a bottom-of-the-barrel run defense, which was allowing over 140 yards per game across its previous 12 contests; a dropped interception by Stephon Gilmore – each of which had a direct effect on the outcome of the nightmare we experienced on Sunday.

(Or maybe – juuuust maybe – there’s some sort of voodoo magic at play, because it’s almost becoming hard to fathom the incredible misfortune the team has had down in Miami for multiple years in a row now.)

The crazy part is, Brady actually had a great game based purely upon his stat line: 27/43, 358 yards, 3 TDs, and 0 INTs. Also, his 37-yard touchdown pass to Cordarrelle Patterson in the second quarter was truly a thing of beauty. But, otherwise, his mind just wasn’t really in it. I honestly believe that he’s just completely in his own head whenever he plays down there, and he even admitted as much when talking about the sack he took to end the first half on MIAMI’s 9-YARD LINE – when he completely mismanaged the clock and failed to allow the team to secure what should have been, at the very least, an easy three points:

“That was a terrible play by me. That should never happen. I lost track. I thought we had one time out. We called the one, and we ran a couple plays, and I was just not thinking on third down.”

You’re right; that can’t happen there, Tommy. Even a rookie knows that.

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Even Brady couldn’t absolve himself of blame for that one.

And don’t even get me started on Gostkowski. Not only did he miss an extra point, but he also missed a 42-yarder, his fifth miss of the year. Sure, he’s been one of the league’s most productive kickers for the past 13 years, and you can do much worse. But he’s also missed some pretty big ones over that time, and often times it’s in the most inopportune of spots:

  • A shanked last-second field goal attempt in a regular season game against the Cardinals in 2012 – a game the Pats lost by two
  • A missed extra point against the Broncos in the AFC Championship in 2016, which forced the Pats to go for two late in the game; they failed, lost by two, and allowed Peyton Manning to get his second ring
  • Missed extra point in the Super Bowl against the Falcons a year later, which would have cost the game had the Pats not converted on TWO separate two-point conversions
  • A missed field goal AND a missed extra point against the Eagles in the Super bowl last year

Again, Gostkowski’s had a great career overall, but he certainly hasn’t been infallible, and he is far from “clutch.”

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You’ve done it again, Magoo!

Technically, the Pats are still the No. 2 seed in the AFC: With Kansas City’s overtime win against Baltimore yesterday, the Chiefs still sit in the top spot at 11-2; Los Angeles may have a better record than the Pats (10-3), but they play in the same division as Kansas City and can’t win a bye as a wild card; Houston, who lost to Indy yesterday, is tied with the Pats at 9-4, but the Pats beat them in Week 1 and hold the tie-breaker; and Pittsburgh all but eliminated themselves from contention with their fifth loss yesterday.

Still, Brady & Co. pretty much need to win out in order to keep their spot in the playoff pecking order.

A few more things of note from the debacle in Vice City:

  • Gronk, like Brady, may have had a solid stat line (8 REC, 107 YDS, 1 TD), but he is visibly hurt, or worn down, or both, and – as I’ve noted before – we could truly be seeing the beginning of the end. Not only was he blown by and completely WHIFFED on what should have been an easy tackle on the last play, but each of his catches on Sunday were pretty much just chain-moving plays with little to no yards after the catch. The explosive, rumbling freight train we’re used to seeing is having trouble leaving the station.
  • To be fair, that last play is probably more on the coaching staff than Gronk. I disagree with Red’s take that he should have been in on that play; I get that he was in to prevent the Hail Mary play, but, I’m sorry, Tannehill wasn’t reaching the end zone from 70 freakin’ yards away. Devin McCourty – or anyone with a good pair of legs – should’ve been in there instead. Bad call there. Very bad call.
  • Shoutout to Albert McClellan for his stellar special teams play. He had two blocked punts, including one that set the Pats up for what should have been a cupcake touchdown right before halftime. Not his fault the offense couldn’t punch it in.
  • Another shoutout to Julian Edelman for being such a consistent, reliable target for Brady. He did commit one pretty bad drop, but otherwise had nine catches on 12 targets, with a score to boot. He and Josh Gordon continue to be a great 1-2 punch at wide out.
  • Danny Shelton failed to see the field again for the second straight week. It seems as though that ship has sailed.
  • One quick Dolphins/NFL note: Frank Gore might be the most disrespected and underappreciated player in NFL history. I’m not even slightly exaggerating. Many might be shocked to hear he is SIXTH all-time in terms of total yards from scrimmage, and the 35-year-old still looked explosive on Sunday – rumbling for 92 yards on just 12 carries and adding a 24-yard catch and run. The guy is one of the best ever, and most don’t even realize it.

As mentioned above, next is up what is easily the biggest and most important game of the year, especially now, against the Steelers in Pittsburgh on Sunday. As always, be sure to check in at the end of the week for our preview of the big showdown.

Patriots Dolphins Week 14 Game Preview, Odds, and Storylines

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After Sunday’s sound victory over Minnesota, many might be expecting the Patriots to roll over the Dolphins in Miami this week. But, any true Pats fan knows that Miami has been Brady’s own personal hell throughout his entire career.

Not only are the Pats 1-4 in their last five trips down to Vice City, but look at just how bad Brady has been down there throughout his entire career, as pointed out by Danny Heifetz of The Ringer:

Against the other 30 teams in the league, Brady is 85-32 on the road in the regular season. In Miami, he is 7-9, giving him more losses in Miami than anywhere except New England. Hell, Brady has nine losses in 16 Miami games and 19 losses in 132 home games. Brady has thrown 15 interceptions in Miami, which is more than he’s thrown in any season of his career. No matter how destitute the Dolphins are or how unbeatable the Pats seem, a trip to Miami is the most dangerous thing for the team outside of a visit from Bernard Karmell Pollard.

So, yeah, it hasn’t always been a breeze down in Miami for the Pats. But before we hop into the preview, here’s a quick look at where, when, and how to watch the game along with the latest lines:

  • Location: Hard Rock Stadium (Miami Gardens, FL)
  • Kickoff: Sunday, Dec. 9, 1 p.m. ET
  • TV: CBS
  • Odds (via Odds Shark): Patriots: -7.5 (spread) / Patriots: -350 (moneyline) / 47 (total)

Rather than base expectations purely off of what happened in the past, though, let’s take a look at who Miami has been this season.

First and foremost, they’re just not very good – on either side of the ball. They’re ranked 29th in terms of both total offense and defense. And while they are 6-6, much of that had to do with a fool’s gold 4-2 start, which has been followed up by a 2-4 run since the middle of October.

Yes, it is true that they were without Ryan Tannehill for five games, forcing them to turn to Brock Osweiler (*BARF*) until Tannehill returned two weeks ago against the Colts. But even still, Tannehill had 52.6 QB rating over his last two games before the injury, failing to surpass 185 yards passing in either contest – with one of those games coming against Cincinnati, who has had the absolute worst defense in the league this season BY FAR. (Seriously, the Bengals defense is laughably horrendous.)

To be fair, he has bounced back with two straight 100-plus-QB-rating games over the past two weeks, with a very solid 5-to-1 TD-to-INT ratio. Miami is also 1-1 over that time, with the victory coming in a very close contest against Buffalo last week.

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Honestly, who ever really knows what to expect from this guy?

But even still this is probably the worst Miami team in quite some time, and now their bottom-of-the-barrel defense will be without stud corner, Xavien Howard, on Sunday. Howard, who is in his third year, leads the league in interceptions with seven and has quickly vaulted himself into the upper echelon at the position with his play in 2018. He’s yet to officially be ruled out, but ESPN’s Cameron Wolfe, who covers the Dolphins, doesn’t sound too optimistic:

If that’s the case, expect a nice game from Josh Gordon – and the rest of the Pats receiving corps, for that matter – as the Dolphins really don’t have much else at the position. Truthfully, this should be a great game for the Pats offense as a whole; Miami is also giving up 144.7 yards per game on the ground this year, due in part to the 180-plus rushing yards they’ve given up four of their last six contests. The Pats also carved up the Dolphins for 175 rushing yards when the teams met in Week 4, so expect Sony Michel – who had 112 of those yards – to FEAST once again this weekend. (Seriously, if you’ve got Sony on your fantasy team, fire him up!)

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Expect another electric showing from the rook down in the Sunshine State.

The one noteworthy “strength” (and I use that term loosely) for the Dolphins might be their running game. It’s a two-pronged attack featuring the ageless future H.O.F. Frank Gore and a talented but inconsistent third-year man in Kenyan Drake. After an 883-yard breakout last year, most people expected Drake to completely take over this year, but the 35-year-old Gore is not going away, quietly averaging almost 12 carries a game at a 4.43 per-carry mark. Drake has had his moments this year and is unquestionably the team’s top pass-catching back, but even still neither one has been all that impressive this year, and the Pats should be able to keep them at bay.

Storylines

(Can Brady Defeat His Demons?): As evidenced above, Brady is not a fan of playing in Miami. However, as also previously mentioned, this may be the worst Dolphins team we’ve seen in years, and I just don’t see how Brady can once again lay an egg down there. With Gordon now in the fold, Brady & Co. should be able to exploit Miami’s weak secondary; if not, then it’s really just all in Brady’s head and there’s just nothing else to say.

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Come on, Tommy. It’s time to change the narrative.

(Oh, Danny, Where Art Thou?): As I pointed out the other week, offseason acquisition Danny Shelton has been extremely disappointing this year. In fact, he’s been so ineffective that he wasn’t even active for last week’s game against Minnesota. Bill’s not afraid to quickly cut bait on bad investments, and hopefully it’s not the last we’ve seen of Shelton, who really does possess some solid talent. If he rides the pine again for the second straight week, however, it could signal the end of the 25-year-old’s career in New England.

(Will We See the Duke’s Arrival?): Even though he’s now been active for three weeks after being taken off I.R., rookie corner Duke Dawson has still yet to make his debut. It’s likely because of the fact the team’s current group of corners has been playing exceptionally well this year, and Dawson did miss a lot of valuable practice time while he was on the shelf. But still, the team needs to eventually see what they have in the young guy, on whom they spent a second-round pick in May.

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Can’t wait to see what this kid’s got when he finally gets his chance.

Prediction

I honestly expect the Pats to roll in this one, regardless of what past history tells us. The team’s offense should be able to destroy Miami with ease, and while Tannehill could have a surprisingly good game, he just doesn’t have enough around him to overtake what the Pats are bringing to the table. This one’s over quickly, and the Pats take it 38-17.

REAL TALK: Jason McCourty Has Been an Absolute STUD for the Patriots This Year

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If you’ve been following our coverage of the Pats all year long, you’re probably aware that Jason McCourty has been playing extremely well this season – but even I didn’t realize just how dominant he’s been.

Check this out from Rotoworld’s Evan Silva:

Basically, he is the seventh-ranked corner in the league this season, according to the most respected football ranking’s website on the planet. Yeah, he’s been that good.

After acquiring him for pennies this offseason from Cleveland, many weren’t even sure if he’d make the final roster after a slow start this summer. Seriously, though, people were talking about him being on the roster bubble all the way up until final cuts at the end of August.

Alas, the 31-year-old survived, not only making the team but pretty much outshining everyone, including his twin brother, in the Patriots secondary this season. Along with Stephon Gilmore, McCourty has been helping the Pats D steadily improve as the season has worn on; the team’s defense currently sits at No. 22 overall, with the pass D coming in at No. 24.

McCourty is due to become a free agent at season’s end, and he may have already outpriced himself a bit too high for the Pats liking with his play this year. But if the team can work at a deal to lock him up, perhaps even sooner than this offseason, it’d be a win for both sides. He seems to be rejuvenated playing with his brother Devin, who is signed through next season; he does all the little things that Bill loves from his players; and he’s a great presence in the locker room, serving as a great role model for the talented group of young guys the Pats currently have at the position.

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Come on, Bill! Let’s keep the Double Trouble going in Foxborough.

Jason McCourty has easily been one of the Pats’ best acquisitions over the past few seasons, especially at a position which they’ve typically struggled to find talent. Bill & Co. deserve a lot of credit for going out and getting him this past March.

Just wanted to make sure I gave some shine to a guy who really deserves it this year. Hats off to you, J-Mac. Keep it up!

Dutch Man Asks to Legally Change His Age; Court Says No, but He Doesn’t Care

'I can choose my own life and my own holiday and my own name and my own gender, so why can't I choose my own age?'  Emile Ratelband told CNN.

(CNN) — Age cannot wither him — whatever a courtroom might rule.

Dutchman Emile Ratelband insists his quest to turn the clock forward on his birth certificate is not over, despite a judge on Monday dismissing his request to legally become a younger man.

The 69-year-old father-of-seven had applied to legally have two decades shaved off his age, comparing his request with those from people seeking to switch their gender.

The bizarre exercise was motivated by Ratelband’s desire to make himself more attractive to members of the opposite sex on Tinder and other dating apps. Being younger would also boost his job prospects, he argued.

Nevertheless Ratelband sounded anything but deflated following the ruling. “We plan to appeal right away,” the self-defined positivity guru told CNN.

We here at The 300s typically try to keep things tied to sports, music, movies, and other forms of entertainment as much as possible. We know you’re here for fun, cheeky banter and unique takes on those subjects which hopefully help get you through the humdrum work week.

But sometimes there are stories – ones that step outside the normal realm – that we can’t let slip by. Get a load of this complete joke of a human being.

This guy wants to say he’s 20 years younger than he actually is, simply because he wants to get laid (and “get a better job” *wink wink*), and he is comparing his “plight” to that of others who struggle with real identity crises and the discrimination they face each and every day.

GOT IT.

I have never rooted so hard for somebody to lose a case in my entire life, and I hope that this little plan of his backfires so hard that nobody wants to hire him ever again, not due to his age but simply due to the fact he’s an absolute clown.

Look, I’m all for someone shooting their shot. Seriously, that’s my life’s motto: “shoot your shot.” Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

But this is just insanity, and it’s stuff like this which delegitimizes other people’s valid claims of mistreatment, many of which now often go ignored due to the overwhelming stream of garbage self-pity campaigns and people’s incessant desire to be the center of attention.

And how about the audacity of this D-bag???!!! Check out this quote he gave just the other day: “My older son is 42 and he says ‘when you become 49 you will be more like a big brother than a father to me.’ But I say that’s OK as most people think I’m your big brother and not your father anyway.

The part that scares me the most is not the fact that people now have the gall to actually bring forth cases like this; the scariest part is the fact that he is going to appeal, and I would not be surprised in the slightest if he somehow won.

There’s no question that we live in an increasingly progressive society, which more often than not is a very, very good thing that has helped bring a lot of positive change to the world. But it’s also opened the door for everyone and their brother to complain about everything and make issues out of non-legitimate B.S. that does not matter one iota to the world at large.

They’re even going after freakin’ Rudolph now!!!

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In recent years: same-sex couples won the right marry across the country; people aren’t being thrown away for life anymore for smoking a joint; trans individuals won the right to keep the rights they worked so hard for in Massachusetts – all awesome things!

But some of this other stuff has to stop, and if Ratelband wins his appeal I will take the first Virgin Galactic tourist flight to outer space – which allegedly could happen by the end of this year – and just fucking stay there.

Stay strong, European court system. For everyone’s sake.

One of Patriots All-Time Unsung Heroes Gets 8 Years in Prison

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It’s really been an AWFUL year for the once vaunted “Legion of Boom.”

Once perhaps the most fearsome quartet in the entire NFL, former Seahawks defensive secondary mates Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor, Earl Thomas, and Brandon Browner probably can’t wait for 2018 to finally be over in a just a few weeks.

Sherman had an ugly breakup with the team last offseason and is stuck in San Francisco. Chancellor suffered a severe neck injury at the end of 2017 and, while still technically on the Seahawks roster, looks like he might be forced to hang ’em up for good. Thomas – after a very public contract dispute and self-promotion campaign – sustained a gruesome leg injury against the Cardinals this past September, effectively ending his season and, most likely, also his career in Seattle.

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This will likely forever be known as Thomas’s swan song in a Seattle uniform.

But nobody’s having a worse time than Brandon Browner right now, as the 34-year-old, two-time Super Bowl champion was sentenced to eight years in prison today after committing a ridiculous string of crimes – including FOUR felonies – over the past year alone.

Rather than regale you with the details of Browner’s abhorrent spree – which includes everything from making threats to drug possession to burglary and, finally, to both attempted kidnapping AND attempted murder – the guy has gone completely off the rails. It’s a really sad story, but I guess it’s not so surprising coming from a guy who wasn’t very well-liked outside of his own locker room and who also set the NFL record for penalties in a single season in 2015.

What’s really sad about all of it, though, is the fact that Browner should truly be considered one of the most important players in Patriots history, but his memory will now be forever grossly tainted.

I’m dead serious. Hear me out.

There’s a huge difference between being one of the “greatest” and one of the “most important,” and Browner is certainly one of the latter. While everyone gives Malcolm Butler all the credit for picking off Russell Wilson to end Super Bowl XLIX, giving the Pats their fourth championship, it probably doesn’t happen without Browner.

Watch No. 39 in the bottom right corner of the screen for the duration of the play before Butler makes the interception:

Did you see what he did there? He sets an absolutely PERFECT pick on Seahawks then-No. 1 wide receiver Jermaine Kearse, allowing Butler to sneak around the block and cut off what would have been a perfect, wide-open throwing lane for Wilson, which would have resulted in a cupcake touchdown for Seattle and a heartbreaking defeat for the Pats.

Yes, Butler still needs to catch the ball. And no, I’m not saying Browner deserves all the shine – after all, Butler was the one had to actually haul it in. I am saying, though, that if Browner isn’t there on that play, Tom Brady still only has four rings to his name. No doubt in my mind.

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It’s hard to find much out there about Browner’s vital involvement on the play, but at least Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio agrees with me: (link to Florio’s take). Browner’s strong play all year was also a huge part of the reason the Pats were even there in the first place.

But look, I’m not trying to sit here and wax poetic about a guy who absolutely deserves to be put away for a long time after everything he’s done. I’m just saying that it’s obvious this man has always had some issues up top, and it’s sad he never received the help he so desperately needed.

Maybe his antics throughout his entire career – and the almost unbelievable crimes he’s committed recently – were truly a cry for help, or at least a neon-bright sign for an unstable individual. Or maybe he’s really just a P.O.S. and I’m an asshole for saying anything nice about him. Regardless, here’s to hoping eight years in the pen allows Browner to finally find his peace – for both he and everyone else around him’s sake.

TWO NEW MARVEL TRAILERS DROPPING THIS WEEK – including Avengers 4!

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Marvel nerds like yours truly are in for a real treat this week, as it was announced we’ll get TWO brand-new trailers over the next couple of days – starting with the second teaser for Captain Marvel on Monday night!

Back in September, we brought you the first CM trailer and there was a lot to like from the brief footage we got. For a story and character who does not have much of a mainstream following at all, we’ll hopefully get a better glimpse into Carol Danvers’ background and how it connects to the MCU overall. We already know she’s a force to be reckoned with and that Nick Fury has a lot to do with her story, but that’s about it right now. I need more, Marvel! Especially considering I still have to wait a little over three months to see it.

As mentioned in the tweet above, the second Captain Marvel trailer is set to drop tonight on Monday Night Football.

But even more exciting is the news that we are also going to get what we’ve all been waiting for: the first look at the still untitled Avengers 4 film! The first-ever teaser trailer – or promotional material of any kind so far, really – for the much anticipated finale to last year’s Avengers: Infinity War is expected to be released on Wednesday morning, with many speculating it will air on ABC’s Good Morning America.

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Yes, FINALLY! I know! Took ’em long enough!

BUT, do be sure to temper your expectations a bit. We’re not going to find out what happened to our beloved heroes that turned to dust at the end of the last film (I’m not even gonna say SPOILER ALERT here, because…come on, seriously?). We’re also probably not going to find out wherever the hell Thanos was at the end of the movie (even though some tried and true Marvel fans out there think it might be a place called “Soulworld,” which I will fully admit I am certainly no expert on.)

Maybe, however, we will get some intimations about some of the other burning questions we all had after leaving the theater last summer. Is Gamora alive? Does Hawkeye decide to make one more comeback? What actually happened to Vision? And, last but not least, will Bruce finally get his shit together and learn how to control himself (and the Giant Green Guy) once again?

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What the hell’s going on with you, doc?

I guess we’re about to find out, and there’s always a chance we could get a quick 30-second cut of B.S. But either way, I’m super amped and just wanted to make sure all my fellow Marvel heads have their eyes peeled this week. Happy Monday indeed!

Patriots Vikings Postgame Thoughts and Quick Hits

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That was a win you can feel good about, Pats Nation.

While, sure, the now 6-5-1 Minnesota Vikings are “underperforming” a bit this year, they should still be considered one of the top teams in the league. Let’s not forget they were in the NFC Championship just last year and are still absolutely loaded on both sides of the ball. And don’t forget the fact that the Pats D was able to keep the league’s seventh-rated passing offense to 10 points and less than 300 yards of total offense.

Well done, fellas. Truly.

The dominant duo of Stefon Diggs and Adam Thielen was held to a combined total of 10 receptions, with each receiver failing to crack even 50 yards (or, in Thielen’s case, 30). They also picked off two passes from Kirk Cousins, who barely surpassed the 200-yard mark through the air overall.

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It was a rough day on the gridiron for No. 19 yesterday.

Dalvin Cook had a great (and extremely efficient) game on the ground, though, picking up 84 rushing yards on just nine carries. Were it not for the game script, which forced Cousins to throw 44 times, Cook could’ve done more damage. Granted, he did gain most of his yards off of a 32-yard and subsequent 18-yard run at the beginning of the game, but he still averaged 4.8 yards per tote over his other seven opportunities. That’s the best and healthiest he’s looked all year outside of a solid performance against Detroit in Week 9.

In a game where the Pats were expected to – and did indeed – struggle to run the ball, Tom Brady was solid but unremarkable. It was another 300-yard performance for the G.O.A.T., but he had just one score and also threw a pick. However, he was able to get the Pats down the field by spreading the ball around to almost everyone, ultimately allowing big James Develin to rumble in for two separate scores on the goal line. The Pats offense converted 50 percent of its third-down opportunities as well, allowing the team to move the ball even with the overall subpar rushing performance.

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Oft forgotten and underappreciated – as most fullbacks are – Devs got some much-deserved shine yesterday at Gillette.

The Pats D, though, was the real story. Again, they were able to keep the three-headed monster of Cousins, Diggs, and Thielen at bay and barely allowed the Vikings to reach double-digits on the scoreboard. Trey Flowers also grabbed another sack, and so didn’t Adam Butler – whom I pointed out last week as a guy who’s been quietly skyrocketing up the depth chart and really establishing himself in the team’s hierarchy up front.

Again, it’s OK to allow yourself to be pretty happy about this one, especially considering – as I’ve mentioned numerous times over the past couple weeks – the schedule is a breeze the rest of the way outside of a huge showdown with Pittsburgh in two weeks.

Here’s a few more quick hits for ya after Sunday’s triumph in Foxborough:

  • Rookie corner J.C. Jackson continued to impress and is obviously no longer in a time share. He served as the team’s clear-cut No. 3 corner yesterday. Jonathan Jones, who did have one of the team’s two picks on the afternoon, played just three percent of the snaps, compared to 89 percent (!) for Jackson, who came up big on two almost successive plays at the end of the third quarter; with the team up 17-7, Jackson broke up two potential touchdown passes in or near the endzone, forcing the Vikings to kick. That would be the final time they scored in the game. I’ve been saying since the preseason to keep an eye on this kid!
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Get to know this face, guys. He’s quickly becoming one of the team’s key pieces on D.

  • On the team’s very next offensive series after Jackson’s heroics, Brady tied Brett Favre for third place on the all-time passing touchdown list, AND he also tied Peyton Manning for most TD passes all-time when combing regular and postseason play. OH, AAAND just for kicks, he also surpassed the 1,000-yard rushing mark in his career on a 5-yard scramble in the first. Every week it seems like he’s setting another record lately. Again: G…O…A…T!!!
  • Rex Burkhead touched the ball nine times in his return to action. In all, he was able to muster up 41 total yards, and he had two plays of over 10 yards, showing burst on both a 10-yard run and another 15-yard catch. Sony Michel (18 touches) and James White (13 touches) were still the lead backs, and should be moving forward, but Burkhead is obviously going to be a part of the plan again from here on out.
  • Josh Gordon hauled in just three passes but demonstrated how vital his big-play ability is for this offense. His 24-yard TD catch at the end of the third put the game away for good.
  • Yesterday’s victory guaranteed the Patriots their 19th straight winning season.

Up next for the Pats is a game with the Fins in Miami this Sunday. Be sure to check in with The 300s later on this week for the game preview!

The Alliance of American Football is Apparently Coming This Spring, and I Couldn’t Care Less

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Raise your hand if you’ve heard of the Alliance of American Football league, which is set to kick off its inaugural season this spring…

Don’t worry; I will fully admit I had ZERO idea what the hell it was either.

Apparently, it will be an eight-team, ten-week spring league, which will begin play just one week after the Super Bowl in February. The league will feature a mix of former collegiate players AND still-able-bodied ex-NFL castoffs, which promises “high-quality professional football” for hungry fans during the offseason.

Each team will have a roster of 50 players, with each player getting a three-year, non-guaranteed, $250,000 contract loaded with incentives. As of right now, the championship game will be aired on CBS, with CBS Sports Network airing at least one game per week during the season. At least for now, it will consist of eight teams in the following cities: Atlanta, (GA); Birmingham (AL); Memphis (TN); Orlando (FL); Salt Lake City (UT); San Antonio (TX); San Diego (CA); and Tempe (AZ).

The league was founded by producer Charlie Ebersol – son of the legendary Dick Ebersol, who is also involved – and former Colts GM Bill Polian. OH, and former Steelers legends like Troy Polamalu and Hines Ward will also be involved, as well as former Giant Justin Tuck.

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As much as I absolutely despised his team growing up, I absolutely loved watching this man play. Good to know he’s still trying to do big things.

No seriously, guys. This is a REAL thing that’s coming.

But wait, Mattes, didn’t the XFL announce that it’s coming back in 2020? So we’re going to have two brand-new alleged “professional” football leagues competing against each other at the very same time out of freakin’ nowhere?

Yes, they did. And yes, we certainly are.

Why? I have absolutely no idea. And anyone who thinks either, or both, has even a remote chance of being successful is absolutely delusional.

First, there’s the fact that the players being selected are – sorry to say it – ones that people simply don’t want to watch; otherwise, they would have been drafted or stuck around on their NFL teams! Seriously, though, here’s a full look at the first round of guys who were drafted on Tuesday night in the league’s “Protect or Pick” QB draft:

  • San Diego Fleet: Josh Johnson (protected)
  • Atlanta Legends: Aaron Murray (protected)
  • Memphis Express: Troy Cook (protected)
  • San Antonio Commanders: Dustin Vaughan (protected)
  • Birmingham Iron: Luis Perez
  • Arizona Hotshots: Trevor Knight
  • Orlando Apollos: Garrett Gilbert
  • Salt Lake Stallions: Josh Woodrum

Besides the first two on the list, I could not even begin to tell you where any of the other six came from or what business they have playing in a “professional” football league. Perhaps even more insane is the fact that guys like Christian Hackenburg (former Jets second-round bust), Zach Mettenberger (started 10 games for the Titans from 2014-2015), and Scott Tolzien (former backup to Aaron Rodgers and 10-game-NFL starter) SOMEHOW went after the nobodies listed above.

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Scott Tolzien DID once pass for 339 yards in an NFL game five years ago. So watch out for Birmingham, folks!

I hate being Skeptical Stan, and I guess I applaud anyone for trying to bring more football to the table, but do we really need it? We already get professional football for pretty much 50 percent of the year anyway. Yes, it’s true: four preseason weeks, 17 regular-season weeks, and then another four weeks in the playoffs. That’s 25-out-of-52 weeks of the year. If you include offseason, draft, and training camp coverage, the NFL pretty much dominates the airwaves all year long. There’s simply no need for even one more pro football league, let alone two.

At least the XFL promises a different brand of football with more intense, fast-paced action and less focus on player safety (e.g. opening scrums instead of kickoffs; no touchbacks; bump-and-run coverage after five yards; no fair catch; etc.). I’m not saying that’s a good thing; I’m just saying that at least it offers something unique. It’s the same reason why the BIG3 basketball league – which ya boy wrote about months ago – has a chance to be successful as well; unlike the NBA, it offers fans a chance to watch a 3-on-3, backyard style of play that gives them a break from the hardwood action we’re used to seeing throughout the rest of the year.

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Vince McMahon may be a loud-mouthed buffoon, but he sure does know how to entertain.

The AAF will get rid of kickoffs entirely, and they will also be eliminating PATs, forcing teams to go for two every time. But, other than that, it seems as though it will just be a bunch of bad to mediocre guys playing a quicker game of football. The ONLY thing that may get me to watch is the fact that Starter – yes, THAT Starter – has agreed to a multi-year deal to be the league’s official jersey sponsor. (Any 90s kid who was anybody remembers those incredible, magical jackets, and it’s so awesome to know they might have a chance to make a comeback.)

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So effing fresh.

So please forgive me for being so negative – and I’ll eat a giant piece of crow pie if I’m wrong – but until I see something better than Aaron freakin’ Murray and Christian Couldn’t-Hack-It-Burg, I think I’m out on this one.