Hollywood Reporter – Paramount is bringing back Face/Off. The high-concept action film is getting a reboot via 22 Jump Street scribe Oren Uziel, The Hollywood Reporter has confirmed…Fast and Furious creative Neal Moritz will produce for Paramount, with David Permut serving as executive producer. Uziel’s other credits include The Cloverfield Paradox and Paramount’s upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog movie. He also was tapped to pen the second Detective Pikachu movie for Legendary and Warner Bros.
Face/Off is peak 90s: just unapologetic, over the top, and most of all nonsensical. Just a preposterous plot that its better if we just accept it and move on.
John Travolta and Nicolas Cage starred in the 1997 action-thriller from John Woo, which centers on two arch enemies exchanging each other’s identities (and faces). The story follows FBI agent Sean Archer (Travolta), who is tracking down terrorist Castor Troy (Cage). When Troy boards a plane in Los Angeles that crashes and is severely injured, Archer undergoes surgery to remove his face and replace it with Troy’s in order to go undercover as the criminal. In a twist, Troy then awakes from a coma and forces the doctor who performed the surgery give him Archer’s face.
This movie only worked because of one reason: Nicholas Cage. Just an absolute psychotic, eccentric evil villain in Castor Troy who also happens to carry matching gold plated Desert Eagles. So godspeed rebooting that.
Granted I’m not exactly Ari Gold so I don’t know who’s hot in the producer streets, but this is a mixed bag of credits for the guys tapped to helm the reboot. 22 Jump Street? Good! Fast and Furious? Good! Cloverfield Paradox? …OK. The upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog movie? Oh my this is going to be a disaster.
While I love the idea of bringing back something that I enjoyed from the 90s, I also remember what an abortion the Point Break reboot was. Sometimes its best to just let things remain in the past.
Unless they can get Nick Cage and John Travolta to reprise their exact roles, just 20 years older. Then I’m in.
Indiewire – In a new interview on MTV’s “Happy Sad Confused” podcast, cinematographer Robert Richardson reconfirmed Affleck’s Batman script was finished and not exactly beloved by everyone involved in the film’s development. Richardson was hired by Affleck to film his Batman standalone film…
As for what Affleck’s script entailed, Richardson revealed the Batman franchise was going to Arkham Asylum to dig into Bruce Wayne’s own insanity. The cinematographer said Affleck’s film would have showed “the darker side of Batman,” which is quite the statement given how brooding Christopher Nolan’s interpretation of the superhero was in his “Dark Knight” trilogy.
“Well, [Affleck] was going more into the insanity aspects,” Richardson said. “So I think you would’ve seen something a little darker than what we’ve seen in the past and more into the individual, who was inside Batman — what element may be sane and what element may actually not be sane. So he was entering into a little more of the Arkham, as you know, he’s going into where you keep everyone who was bad, everyone that shifted and Batman. And so that whole aspect was sort of, it was very fascinating to go to the darker side of Batman.”
Give me *that* movie. What the hell Warner Bros? Its like these studios and DC Comics just cannot get out of their own way. Now I don’t want to shit on the yet to be released Robert Pattinson Batman movie because who knows it could be awesome, but this Affleck script sounds way more interesting than rebooting Batman for the third time in a decade.
It’ll be hard to ever top The Dark Knight, which for my money is arguably the greatest superhero movie ever made because it doesn’t rely on CGI and dozens of characters.
At its core The Dark Knight is a crime thriller with a heavy focus on psychology and mental health. As much as I loved Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale’s version, I really enjoyed Ben Affleck’s take on the character. He was a much angrier, morally ambiguous, jaded, and more violent version of the Batman than we’d ever seen before.
Now who knows the real story behind why the Batfleck is no more, but there was always drama around his standalone film. Maybe starring, writing, and directing was too much for Affleck or maybe he said to hell with it when he realized he didn’t actually have the creative freedom he thought he would. Either way this movie was on life support for a long time before he officially retired as the caped crusader in January. This movie sounds like it could have been incredible though. Similar to The Dark Knight‘s exploration of psychology and mental health, but taken to the next level with the physical embodiment of Arkham Asylum. Theres just so much meat on the bones and so many directions they could have went with that entire idea. I literally own The Psychology of Batman book so I may be a bit biased in my opinion, but I know for a fact that we could have seen something seriously compelling with Affleck’s script. Not even just with the criminals, but with Bruce Wayne himself. You obviously have to be pretty fucked up to lurk around city rooftops at night fighting bad guys while dressed like a BAT. The Batman movies have never really explored that too much other than the typical backstory of Bruce’s parents being murdered in front of him. Batman Begins delves into that a bit, but its more of how he became Batman whereas this could have been why.
After the flame out that was Justice League, it seems DC has decided to explore individual stories in standalone flicks that aren’t actually connected. We’ve got the upcoming Joker coming out later this year, which is already getting some early Oscar buzz, and that movie reportedly will not be connected to the larger DCEU at all.
I don’t expect this Pattison Batman role to be teaming up with the Justice League any time soon either.
The problem DC always had was they were continuously rushing projects along despite poor vision/execution. They seemingly thought they could just slap together a couple of movies and catch up to Marvel despite the MCU’s painstaking, carefully laid plans. People forget that Marvel released five movies over the course of 4+ years before teaming everyone up in The Avengers. And to be honest, 3-4 of those movies kind of stunk. If The Avengers didn’t completely nail it we could have seen the MCU shuttered a LOT quicker than originally anticipated, which is why Thanos isn’t even referenced until Thor.
Whereas DC released Man of Steel in 2013, Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice in 2016 and then Wonder Woman in 2017, immediately followed up by Justice League five months later. World building this was not. It didn’t help that Man of Steel never even made hint of a larger world of heroes and then 3 years later it turns out Batman has been running shit for years right across a literal bay of water from Clark Kent so that always came off as a shoddy retcon. Oh and that movie made the unforgivable decision to cast Mark Zuckerberg as Lex Luther and had one of the most ridiculous convoluted plots with the dumbest turning point (which Snyder still defends) that I can remember seeing in a movie.
Batman vs Superman could have been so so good. The trailer and the visuals taken out of context from that movie are still gorgeous. Just the perception of Bruce Wayne that Superman is actually evil and he needs to destroy this god-like figure to protect the world is so intriguing.
Especially after 40 years of Superman being portrayed as this Eagle Scout who flies in to save the day. Buttt the movie itself was a microcosm of the DCEU’s overarching issues and ended up being kind of a mess.
Wonder Woman was actually pretty good and was probably the only reason Justice League faired as well as it did. Except Justice League was another disaster in terms of vision and execution. In a vacuum its fine, I watched it on a flight and it kept me entertained, but it jumps around, its dark then its humorous, the villain was terrible and forgettable, and it seemed more like a comic book artist’s wet dream than a major movie studio’s tentpole franchise. Obviously a lot of that is likely due to the film having to switch directors midway through production after the death of Zack Snyder’s daughter. Ironically enough The Avengers mastermind Joss Whedon took over, but this movie was an amalgam of bad ideas thrown together skating by on IP alone.
We have received oodles and oodles of sweet new trailers today and this week as a whole. Fun fact, one time Papa Giorgio walked into my room in college and looked at me laying in bed with my laptop and said “…you’ve been watching movie trailers all night again haven’t you?” What can I say, I am a sucker for a great trailer. Its how shitbombs like Terminator Salvation and Medellin trick Joe Sixpacks like me into seeing their mediocre flicks. Heres hoping these movies don’t suck!
I don’t know what to expect out of this movie. Its usually not a great idea to make a sequel to a movie THIRTY THREE YEARS after the original, but I’ll give it a go. Plus, there was a suspicious absence of Jon Hamm shown in this teaser so color me curious. Probably should’ve just went to space tbh.
Jay and Silent Bob Reboot
LETS. GO. This isn’t what I truly wanted, which is Clerks 3, but its the next best thing so I’ll take it. Jay and Silent Bob were staples for anyone in their late 20s to early 30s. Just good old fashioned raunchy comedy and gratuitous bullying of celebrities in cameo roles. This reboot looks to be completely aware of how ridiculous the fact that it even exists is, which is a great start for a satire like this. I’m excited for this one.
IT 2
Soo I still haven’t watched the first IT if we’re being honest. It’s been recorded on my DVR for several months now. Why haven’t I watched it? Is it because I’m a giant puss and don’t want to fear for my life every time I go in the basement to do laundry? Who’s to say…
Supersize Me 2: Holy Chicken
Supersize Me is still one of my favorite documentaries because of how preposterous of an idea it was. The guy destroys his body and decimates all his vital signals in a MONTH just through McChickens and Big Macs. Not crack or booze. Cheeseburgers. That movie still just makes me hungry though and if you disagree you are a liar or a vegan.
The Red Sea Diving Resort
Captain America is back in his first post-Marvel role and he is teaming up with MY GUY Daario Naharis. Also shoutout to Netflix for completely flipping the film industry on its head. It used to be a death sentence for actors to go from the big screen to the small screen, but now A list actors do it without a second thought. That of course allows me to see movies without having to leave my couch and for a monthly fee thats *still* cheaper than a ticket to the movies.
A Score to Settle
Nicolas Cage long ago embraced the typecast role of unhinged characters. And he does it damn well.
Good Boys
So this has been out for a while, but they just dropped a new trailer so it technically makes the cut. Simply put, this movie looks hilarious. Basically Superbad with middle school kids, which makes sense since Seth Rogen is prominently involved in this one.
Context: There is a movie coming out called “Booksmart” (truth be told iono how it’s stylized but why the fuck do people stylize shit anyway?) directed by Olivia Wilde. I saw a trailer for it when I went to see “Us” and it looked not totally dissimilar to “Superbad” in the best ways possible, swapping in female leads and the unique challenges that girls encounter in adolescents as opposed to boys. It looked funny and endearing in the way only High School Movies (note the fucking capital letters) can. It’s getting rave reviews and I look forward to seeing it.
Leading up to it’s a release, a certain website, spearheaded by a certain media personality known for his affection for Boston sports and who made his bones working for a certain, global leader in sports, posted a list of their top 25 High School Movies (notice themmmmm!) of all time. It was aggregated and synopsized by the writing staff, and while the content is good, especially at calling out some truly repugnant scenes from John Hughes’ work in the 80’s, there were some also some holier-than-though Woke Generation criticisms (I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY HAD THE GUYS IN HIGH SCHOOL TALKING ABOUT WHO’S HOT AND WHO’S NOT IN “SHE’S ALL THAT!!!) and some GLARING omissions and misorderings.
So here I am, Uncle Joey B, to save you all with my list of the Top 10 High School Movies Of Our Time. What does “of our time mean”? Well, I was born in the late 80’s and really began to be aware of pop culture by the late-90’s. So, while I did not get to see High School Movies that came out beginning in the late-90’s, I did a few years after their release when they still were still relevant with casts I recognized and soundtracks I enjoyed. A critical piece of this is that technology had not begun to evolve at breakneck speeds yet as it has now. In contrast to the timeline of my life, someone who was only 7 or 8 in 2007 would have (probably?) been too young to have seen “Superbad” upon its release. By the time they were 13ish, it’s 2012 or 2013 and Michael Cera holding a flip phone perusing porno MAGAZINES looks likes a total dickhead. That inability to relate just wasn’t as much of a problem as I cruised into my teenage years.
One quick note: I’m also going to include “All-Timers”. These are movies from any era that regardless of when they came out speak to you and your sense of nostalgia, to a time when you had no idea what was going on with your mind, body, or soul.
But enough preface. Here is the list, starting with a couple that didn’t make the cut.
Joey B’s Personal Selection –“The Spectacular Now” (2013)
This is by and large a drama and a love story, but it is specifically about two broken people. One has done an inspiring job keeping it together (Shailene Woodley) and one is perfectly fine self-destructing (Miles Teller). This movie will make you uncomfortably relate to it, whether you care to admit it or not.
Honorable Mention #1 (So I Don’t Get Executed) – “Mean Girls” (2004)
This is literally everyone I know’s “favorite movie” in some capacity. It is considered a sin to be a graduate of the classes of 04′-07′ and not worship at the temple of this movie. I like it and think it’s funny, it launched Rachel McAdams, but it just doesn’t land as much with me. Still a phenomenal flick though, just not my thing.
Sofia Coppola’s directorial debut told the story of three blonde sisters who were controlled by overprotective parents and therefore….see the title. That’s all I’m telling you.
Honorablest Of Mentions – “Dead Poet’s Society” (1989)
I’ve written about how Robin Williams was my hero growing up and quite frankly this one transcends being a High School Movie so I couldn’t include it in the list. That said, Williams costars alongside a number of talented young actors in a movie that explores how we navigate class, wealth, education, and relationships from the POV of a prep school in the 50s.
One in a slew of “last night of high school/last party” movies, this one appears to be just a melting pot of cliches mashed together for pure cheesy entertainment: the geek going after the hot chick, the nerds trying to go to their first party, the wanksta (particularly relevant in the 90’s). However, “Can’t Hardly Wait” had fuckin LAYERS. The wanksta (Seth Myers) was actually lonely and sad, the hot chick fucking hated the attention. Every insecurity we now know, in retrospect, lay within ourselves and our friends, is laid bare.
9.) “She’s All That” (1999)
Accidentally catching feelings for someone, especially in high school when your hormones are about as predictable as an unlabeled edible, is a tale as old as time. In this one, Freddy Prinze Jr. makes a bet with Paul Walker that he can turn the geek of their H.S into prom queen. GUESS WHAT HAPPENS?! Anyway, I never thought Rachel Leigh Cook got enough credit, neither for being as stunning as she is nor for being a fucking FORCE in “She’s All That”.
8.) “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
Some might criticize me for the low ranking, but as years have gone by, this one has started to seem like it moves slow to me. It still is a fucking hilarious tale of a kid skipping school to hustle his way into the ultimate day off. Not to mention each actor NAILS their character, from Broderick’s cocky, slick Ferris, to Cameron and his neuroses, to Genie the jealous, bitter, goodie two-shoes sister. A flawed masterpiece if there ever was one.
7.) The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (2012)
This is purely a favorite movie of mine, probably top-20, and I know a favorite of Mattes’ as well. A scared-shitless freshman with a troubled past is befriended, not without some bumps along the way, by a group of older misfits including, of a course, “a girl”. Just gut punch after gut punch of teenage confusion and young love, but in the more serious context of mental illness. Just wow, not a ton to write man. (LoveyouEmma).
6.) “The Girl Next Door” (2004)
I’ve recently begun reminding anyone who will listen and a handful who didn’t want to about this forgotten treasure. To be very, very clear, this is “my” High School Movie. This is what brings back allll the feels, as the kids say. I watched this with a couple of my buddies probably 10 times between the ages of 15 and 16. Emile Hirsch stars as a bookish high school senior who tries to figure out how to pay for his upcoming four years at Georgetown, all the while falling for the girl who has moved in next door and has a couple of scantily clad skeletons in her closet. I recently watched again and remembered every dumb thing I said to every girl I went after in high school and every dumb way I got dumped for every dumb fuck up. And I smiled all the way to the credits.
P.S – The limo scene with David Gray playing is the GOAT High School Movie scene.
5.) “10 Things I Hate About You” (1999)
Another favorite of mine as well as friend of the blog Patty B’s. This movie is just fucking iconic. You have Heath Ledger before we knew what he could REALLY do. Joseph Gordon-Levitt at his baby-faced, affable best. A smokin hot Alex Mack. David Krumholtz still being David Krumholtz all the way back in 1999. Just excellent. Interesting it was also a dating-for-cash movie like “She’s All That” but this one is based on Shakespeare, as Ledger tries to woo a not-having-it Julia Stiles as part of a bigger plot, except, you know. Also: a BANGIN mid/late-90’s alt-rock soundtrack set in a bougie high school. You couldn’t tell if you were jealous or hated everyone in it.
4.) “Varsity Blues” (1999)
Do I really need to explain this one? When the star-QB (Paul Walker again) goes down, backup and popular every-man Jonathan “Mox” Moxon (James Van Der Beek) has to come in and finish the season out under the pressure of his town, his overbearing father, his psycho coach, and his disillusioned concern for his cliched present and hopeful future. Also featured is horrrrrrrrrrribly underrated 90’s chick Amy Smart. There’s all the partying, girls, and frivolity that make these movies great with the sensitivity that makes them mean something.
3.) “American Pie” (1999)
Aftermath Records albums and High School Movies, THAT’S WHAT 1999 DOES (DID…apparently). Anyway the aforementioned dipshits at the aforementioned website left this one off. their list. altogether. How you even begin to create such a list without “American Pie” is beyond me. It is a tale as old as time: A group of self-conscious guys facing the end of high school want to lose their virginity while their smoother or more advanced friends help them do it. That’s it. That’s the movie. Except along the way they learn one of life’s greatest lessons: there are far better things to discover in the fairer sex than just carnal pleasures. Trust me on that one, I’m 30, single, and have severe trust and commitment issues. “American Pie” also boasts maybe the GOAT High School movie feud in Stiffler-Finch. And Tara Reid.
2.) “Dazed And Confused” (1993)
I either wrote or considered writing a blog awhile back with the thesis being “Dazed And Confused” is the greatest “Rainy Day Movie” of all time. That is a very specific, unquantifiable, and inflammatory thing to state but I stand by it. On a lazy Saturday when it is rainy and you don’t want to go outside, if this Linklater classic comes on you are all set. The story of popular QB Randall “Pink” Floyd and the complicated way one has to navigate friendships between cliques in high school, “Dazed And Confused” is hysterical, touching, and a great look into that moment in your life when you realize there just might be more to it.
1.) “Superbad” (2007)
Did anyone else get caught drinking/smoking something/fucking/making out/doing literally anything in high school? Well up to when “Superbad” came out, movie party scenes always seemed overblown and inaccurate to me. They just didn’t encapsulate what I experienced. Then “Superbad” came out and the final party scene was so dead on I remember feeling a momentary panic as if I had been caught as referenced above. Like, “Oh shit, they know.” Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg did it, man – they nailed what it was like to wrap up high school, go to a party, hang out with your best friend, and be terrified of what happens next. GOAT.
I texted Giorgio about it and he didn’t have a much warmer reaction: “Thats an IP killer. We may never get another Sonic game again.”
I was always a big SEGA guy growing up, more so than the original Playstation (released in 1994) or even Nintendo (1985). The SEGA Genesis came out in 1989 and my next favorite system N64 didn’t come out until 1996. I was even one of the 9 people that owned a SEGA CD system!
So there were some real solid years in there as a young kid with classics like Mortal Kombat 2, Altered Beast, Golden Axe, Streets of Rage, Vector Man. And that doesn’t include the downright impossible to beat games like Echo the Dolphin (fuck that game) and The Lion King.
All of those obviously pale in comparison to the GOAT SEGA game franchise of course; Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic, Sonic 2, Sonic 3 were all great games. Sonic & Knuckles was awesome because it was basically the first DLC expansion pack I’ve ever seen, introducing Knuckles and the power of flight into those old Sonic games. Sonic CD also had some AWESOME moments like the Metal Sonic boss that mimics all your moves, which was quite the mind fuck for a 7 year old.
So long story short I am a Sonic stan. I most recently relapsed into Sonic fandom with Sonic Mania for Nintendo Switch. SEGA has been run so incompetently they haven’t been able to make a successful game with their most popular IP since Sonic Adventures on Dreamcast.
That was 1998. It’s been 20 years guys. SEGA basically sunk their hardware company because of this and are now forced to lease out their IP as they’ve essentially transitioned into a software company that only develops games.
The story around Sonic Mania is actually one of my favorites because it shows just how bad it had gotten for SEGA. There was this one guy Christian Whitehead AKA Taxman who was porting Sonic games and tweaking the levels on his own and then releasing them online for people to play for free. Via his Wikipedia page:
In 2009, Whitehead produced a “proof-of-concept” video of Sonic CD running on an iPhone using his own custom engine, the “Retro Engine”…Whitehead proclaims that he spent “about a year or so” convincing Sega to let him work on the Sonic CD port. In 2009, a video regarding Sonic CD from Whitehead was taken down, leading Eurogamer to report that Whitehead possibly faced a cease and desist letter from Sega, which Whitehead claimed was false. The port was released for Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, iPhone and Android in 2011. His port was so successful that he was later commissioned to port Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 to mobile devices…In 2017, Whitehead, in collaboration with Headcannon and PagodaWest Games, developed and released their own original title in the Sonic series, titled Sonic Mania.
Now I have to give SEGA some credit here because rather than sue his balls off they ended up just hiring the guy and letting him lead the production of the game that ultimately became Sonic Mania. The game itself is excellent too because just when you get comfortable and start to remember the level structure it completely changes and your thrown into something you’ve never seen, so its way more than a port. Its like playing Sonic on acid.
So for all my love of Sonic it breaks my heart to say this movie looks like the first and probably last Sonic movie we’ll ever see. When I first heard about the idea I said theres no way a live action Sonic movie could ever work, but then I saw the trailers for the live action Pokemon movie and it changed my mind completely. The problem is the CGI in the Pokemon movie is incredible whereas the CGI in the Sonic movie is garbage.
Sonic is legitimately haunting.
How did they get that out of this?
I will say Jim Carrey is probably one of the best choices to play a wacky video game villain (doesn’t mean it’ll be good), but I can’t have skinny Dr. Robotnik, can’t have it.
It looks terrible, but because nostalgia is the most powerful drug not named heroin, I probably will go out for a few beers and wind up seeing it out of morbid curiosity. If you’re a sick person like me, Sonic the Hedgehog comes out on November 8th.
11 years. It’s been more than a decade since Tony Stark “built this in a cave with a box of scraps.” Avengers: Endgame is officially in theaters and I’ve been hiding from Twitter for the past week, minus a few ribbings at the expense of Mr. John Tavares and the Toronto Chokealeafs. Endgame is the culmination of everything in the MCU, a definitive end for many of the characters we’ve been watching since the days of George W.
As a final installment of the The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, we wanted to touch base on the films of Phase Three that we haven’t covered yet, which also now apparently ends with Spider-Man: Far From Home. (Make up your mind, Kevin Feige!) So let’s get into it.
Dr. Strange
Giorgio: To be honest, Dr. Strange did nothing for me. I love Cumberbatch, but this film to me just seemed too much of a Christopher Nolan knockoff. The film is almost a literal combination of Batman Begins and Inception. One of these was good enough for me. 5/10
Red: This movie was a trip and one I did not expect to enjoy. I punted on it for so long that I actually ended up watching it for the first time on Netflix. I have to admit though I really enjoyed it. As Kyle mentions above it pretty much is like someone threw the scripts of Batman Begins and Inception together, but I loved both of those movies so it was right up my alley. Cumberbatch is excellent as the smarmy Dr. Strange and a really solid addition to the Avengers. 7/10
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Giorgio: I liked it, but wasn’t nearly as good as the original. It was also really depressing. I’ll take as much Rocket as possible though. Bradley Cooper is an actor’s actor. 7/10
Red: I know Kyle is a bigger Guardians fan than I am, but I just could not get into GOTG2. The music as always was excellent (like the opening scene featuring Mr. Blue Sky), Rocket steals just about every scene he’s in, but I hated the “Ego is a planet” storyline and I’m a big Kurt Russell guy. But with all the aforementioned factors propping it up, this is still an entertaining flick. 7/10
Spider-Man: Homecoming
Giorgio: This movie was incredible. First Spider-Man I’ve liked since probably the original with MTV Best Kiss Winner Tobey Maguire. Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker, and the film does a great job of not taking itself too seriously. Shoutout to Michael Keaton as Vulture, essentially playing Birdman twice within the span of a few years. 8/10. Also, Aunt May 10 out of 10.
Red: Kyle described it in the best way possible; Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker. Michael Keaton was a kickass villain in a truly surprising twist and a legitimately frightening Vulture. Oh and Aunt May is a rocket. 9/10
Thor: Ragnarok
Giorgio: Possibly my favorite film of Phase Three. After two boring as hell solo films, Ragnarok takes a completely new approach to a stale franchise and gives it new life. It was hilarious, weird, and charming all at the same time. Tessa Thompson is a pleasure to watch on screen. Oh, and Jeff Goldblum. Horniest/smoothest man in Hollywood. 9.5/10
Red: This was one of the best comic book movies ever because it not only had top notch popcorn flick action, but it also was very self aware in how ridiculous it was (i.e. the opening scene/rock montage). Ragnarok also managed to work in Hulk perfectly without Marvel having to go out on a limb on ANOTHER Hulk standalone movie, despite how many people wanted a true Planet Hulk movie. I’ve always been partial to Thor despite it not being the strongest MCU trilogy (neither is Iron Man), but Thor 3 kicks all the asses and sets us up nicely for Infinity War, which starts minutes after Ragnarok ends. 9/10
Black Panther
Giorgio: Had zero idea what to expect, but came out really enjoying it. Great cast, great story. Michael B. Jordan is one of the best actors currently working. Also made over a billion dollars, so no surprises how universally liked this movie is. 9/10
Red: Same as Kyle I had zero idea what to expect out of this movie. Chadwick Boseman was pretty badass in Civil War so I knew they had a shot, but Michael B. Jordan stole the goddamn show as, in my opinion, the best villain in the MCU. 8.5/10
Avengers: Infinity War
Giorgio: For a film that has about 50 main characters, they did a great job not making the plot stroke-inducing to follow. Thanos finally shows his ass after a decade of sending his minions to inevitably just do it himself. We get a great Peter Dinklage cameo, always a pleasure to see him. It was great to finally see the beginning of the end. 8/10
Red: Bravo! Bravo! One of the few movies I made sure to see opening weekend because you have about a day before Twitter eggs ruin the movie for you and about a week before Yahoo just straight up starts posting spoilers in the headlines. As Kyle said this movie did an incredible job balancing dozens and dozens of characters that you legitimately cared about as the world building of Kevin Feige really started to pay dividends. This movie could have been 4 hours long and I wouldn’t have moved an inch. 9/10
Ant-Man and the Wasp
Giorgio: Fuck this movie. 2/10
Red: Very forgettable. All I remember is the villain that can phase through walls, yet is slowly dying. Also, if we’re being honest I’ve always disliked Evangeline Lilly for how she cucked Jack on LOST, but I admit thats not exactly fair. Paul Rudd is a treat to watch per usual and the movie introduces the Quantum Realm which I think we all expect to be one of the keys to Endgame. So decent movie, but very forgettable. 6/10
Giorgio: I….never saw this movie. Guilty as charged. I’m sure it was swell though, right? Nothing like shoehorning in a last minute character a month before the grand finale. At least I heard there’s an orange cat in it named Goose. Rating N/A
Red: Unlike Kyle, I paid 14 of my hard earned Schrute Bucks to go see this last weekend because I didn’t want to be completely lost when a Deus Ex Machina write in comes out of nowhere to save the day in Endgame. While I was less than excited going into this move (I just got a very Green Lantern vibe with the fighter pilot turned super hero with bad CGI), it wasn’t bad. Nothing great, nothing terrible. A de-aged Samuel L. Jackson (good CGI) carries the movie, but Jude Law is a great character/foil in Capt. Marvel. Some hamhanded naming conventions (Mar-Vel? Really?) and the lazy explanation for where Poochie, er I mean Captan Marvel, has been for the past 20 years leads to an OK, but highly skippable cinema experience. 6.5/10
Now I just need to make it to Sunday afternoon without someone spoiling Endgame for me. Do what I did kids, mute anything and everything related to Avengers on Twitter and stay off the news sites. We’re in the endgame now…
Captain America: Civil War (2016) is one of my favorite Marvel movies and I think a lot of people agree with that sentiment. My worry going back and watching Cap 3 for the first time in years was that it would just be me remembering another OK movie through rose colored glasses because of the incredible airport scene. Fear not, despite yet another convoluted villain character, this movie still kicks ass all these years later. As it should, considering this movie really made up for the disappointing Avengers 2. They should have called this movie Avengers 2.5. It also has the distinction of giving Captain America hands down the best complete trilogy in all of the MCU. Iron Man 2 and 3 leave much to be desired. Thor 2 was not great, and Guardians 3 is TBD. Now lets get to it!
Oooooh I love cold opens.
It’s 1991 and Winter Solider is back. It seems like he’s being tortured by the Russians, but after a series of code words uttered wake him up you see he’s basically a brainwashed spy for the Russki’s. They send him out on a retrieval mission and he whacks someone driving a caddy and takes some blue goo from their trunk. Title card.
We cut to Scarlet Witch, Captain America, Black Widow, and Falcon scouting out a scene in Nigeria for a mission which quickly turns into an all out firefight
“Wanda, just like we practiced,” Cap says to Scarlet Witch, implying the training thats been taking place before this.
But, wait its not just some faceless mercs, it’s Crossbones who is already an established villain apparently, but someone I again had to look up to remember his story. For anyone thats forgot like me he played Brock Rumlow in Captain America 2 as a sleeper cell agent for HYDRA. Welp Crossbones tries to suicide bomb Cap, only to be temporarily stopped by Scarlet Witch, who in an effort to levitate him to safety accidentally blows up half a building.
And thats how you get the Sokovia Accords.
Holy christ they CGI’d Tony Stark’s de-aged face onto a teenager’s body.
Tony Stark gets confronted by a woman who blames Stark for her son’s death in….you guessed it, Sokovia.
And thats how you get the Sokovia Accords.
The Secretary of State drops in on Avengers HQ to lecture the team about all the collateral damage they’ve caused with literally no repercussions.
It raises an interesting question though, what gives the Avengers the right to operate with “unlimited power and no supervision,” as the Secretary puts it?
We are introduced to Helmut Zimo, who is another HYDRA agent on a mission. Zimo is torturing another old Russian general. When he asks how Zimo found him he directly references the gigantic Wiki Leaks dump Black Widow did at the end of Winter Soldier.
This is where the split between the team members of the Avengers begins. Tony Stark the rogue “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist” immediately opts to surrender his rights and sign the Sokovia Accords. This basically gives the Avengers the United Nations for a boss, which military lifer Captain America is just unwilling to do. It’s quite the role reversal we see here and drives the wedge between the team when half of them sign and half of them don’t.
Sokovia Accords ceremony gets bombed to high hell and King T’Chaka, of one Wakanda, is killed in the blast, which we will learn later leads to the introduction of another hero.
But who would bomb the Sokovia Accords? Oh well the news immediately identifies the culprit as one Bucky Barnes. That took 5 minutes, but sure. We’re then introduced to the first incident with the Sokovia Accords exposing why it’s such a pain in the ass. By not signing the document, Captain America isn’t allowed to interfere so he and his crew are officially outlaws at this point.
Cap going to help his friend out turns into Cap aiding and abetting a wanted terrorist realll quick though. He nearly gets out of it unscathed too until a goddamn Black Panther drops out of the clouds to stop them. United Nations sanctioned War Machine joins the party and congratulates Cap for now being a criminal before all three are arrested. Oh and we learn that Black Panther is in fact King T’Chaka’s son, T’Challa.
“I’m not getting that shield back am I,” Cap asks.
“Technically it’s the government’s property,” Black Widow shoots back.
This movie has a lot of parallels to X-Men 3: The Last Stand. As bad as that movie was it’s how this storyline could very easily turn, with the world calling for the eradication of Mutants and the Mutants fighting back. Here we have Tony trying to stave off “something worse” than signing a document.
Hey look its Zimo who somehow works for the government and is the exact guy interrogating Bucky Barnes. K? Zimo uses an EMP to knock out all the power in the building so he can say the code words to turn Bucky back into the Russian spy he was back in 1991. But, before we get into that, maybe War Machine can explain what the hell happened with that EMP?
Bucky is in brainwashed mode yet again and nearly kills everyone before Cap is able to knock him out before he can escape. He snaps out of it and explains to Cap how he got his brain scrambled again and what these guys might be looking for exactly.
“Because I’m not the only Winter Soldier,” Bucky says as a flashback shows exactly what that Blue Goo was from the opening of the movie. A group of psychos Bucky refers to as the most elite death squad in Hydra history were also injected with that serum, but they all seem to be pretty unhinged.
Tony Stark is officially given an assignment to bring in the rogue Avengers, but without half their team, Hulk, and Thor to back them up it’s time to do a little recruiting.
We head to Queens to meet the best Peter Parker ever put on film, who Tony quickly takes a liking to and invites him to Germany for a little project. Cut to Hawkeye who’s come out of “retirement” to bust Scarlet Witch out of house arrest, which takes a little duel with Vision to do so. Black Widow recruits Black Panther and Cap hits up Agent Peggy’s niece (whom he also macks on) to get back his shield and Falcon’s suit. And to round out the crew we got a starstruck Ant-Man meeting Cap and the rest of the rogue Avengers.
Paul Rudd should be in every one of these movies from here on out.
Tony and his crew of War Machine, Black Widow, Black Panther, Spider-Man, and Vision show up to shut that shit down. Let the Battle Royale begin.
Most of it’s all fun and games with some cheeky one liners, ya know except for Rhodes getting paralyzed. Other than that though, it’s all a pretty good time before Cap and Bucky escape and head to Russia to figure out WTF is going on. HYDRA winter soldier death squad, sleeper cell evil scientists?
The rest of Cap’s crew is on lockdown in the “max security underwater super pokey” as Tony describes it. He seems to be realizing this whole Sakovia Accords thing may have been a bad idea.
Tony learns of Zemo and with a tip from Falcon heads to Berlin, which don’t ya know is exactly where Bucky and Cap are headed. Zemo finds the old HYDRA lab in Berlin and locates the other winter soldiers saved on ice.
In a change of heart Tony realizes what Cap has been trying to do this whole time and joins forces with him.
Now this is where this movie gets weird. We finally see those other winter soldiers, but Zemo has already killed them all? So this whole thing was all a ploy to get the Avengers here? Bombing the UN, framing Bucky Barnes, killing innocent people for what?
“An empire toppled by its enemies can be rebuilt, but one that crumbles from within, thats dead forever,” Zemo says.
Zemo plays the security cam footage of Tony Stark’s parents not actually dying in a car crash, but getting straight up murdered by Bucky Barnes all those years ago. And it turns out Captain America knew the whole time.
Welp, there goes Tony’s renewed alliance with Cap and Buck. Blind with rage Tony will stop at nothing to kill Bucky now, even if it means going through Cap. After some serious hand to hand combat, it seems like Iron Man is in some deep shit, but with a blast from his goddamn chest piece Tony blows off Bucky’s metal arm.
Turns out Zemo’s family was killed in the shitshow that was Sokovia. Knowing he couldn’t kill the Avengers himself, he plotted to have them destroy each other. Black Panther apprehends Zemo before he can kill himself meanwhile Cap and Ton continue to beat the hell out of each other. Cap gets the upperhand and Tony drops a real heart wrenching quote that forces him to leave his shield.
Captain America goes full rogue and busts his half of the Avengers out of super max prison and leaves Tony with a promise, and a flip phone, that if he ever needs him he’ll be there.
Mid credits scene: Cap and Bucky are in Wakanda as Bucky decides being frozen once again is the best thing for everyone until they can figure out whats up. Oh and these guys have quite the technology don’t they?
Post credits scene:
This movie absolutely holds up and is one of the best of the entire MCU. It doesn’t really advance the overall plot of the Infinity Stones or the impending threat from Thanos, but this is a popcorn flick to beat all popcorn flicks. Captain America: Civil War is like when you finally get to open all your presents on Christmas Day and play with all your toys at once.
On this episode of The 300s Podcast we’ve got Red, Big Z, and Giorgio on the line discussing the funniest, most deranged, and most obscure in Vegas movies. We discuss each of the below and more from the past 30 years of Las Vegas film and TV history.
After a pretty hit-or-miss slate of movies throughout Phase 2, Marvel ended the epoch on a really good note with 2015’s “Ant-Man.”
To be honest, I had no idea what to expect from this one – not only because Hank Pym wasn’t really one of my guys growing up, but even more so because the MCU had my emotions all mixed up at the time. The studio’s second phase started off with clunkers like “Iron Man 3” and the second Thor movie, only to follow that up with two of their best ever in the second Cap movie as well as “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Then, I was absolutely disgusted with “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” which was released just two months before. (Seriously, it has to be my least favorite MCU film. I still think Papa Giorgio was being a bit ambitious with his 5.0 rating.)
Ant-Man was great, though. It truly was. Even though, as I mentioned above, I wasn’t really an expert on the storyline growing up, I was cautiously excited solely for the fact it starred one of my favorite actors/humans ever in Paul Rudd. I may actually love him more than I do some family members, and I can’t remember the last thing I’d seen with him I didn’t enjoy. So good start there.
Then, we were also treated to the absolute GEM that is Michael Peña (more on him later). And we also got an extended cameo from Tip Harris – aka T.I. (yes, that T.I.) – along with a star-studded supporting cast that included Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly, Judy Greer, Wood Harris, and Bobby Cannavale.
In typical MCU fashion, the movie was obviously going to sprinkle in the funny, especially with guys like Rudd and Peña leading the way. Fortunately, though, it wasn’t overkill. The humor was placed perfectly throughout the story, and I was grinning pretty much the whole film.
As far as the action goes, there wasn’t really any actual “fighting” at all until the very end. But still, there were plenty of unique shots of what life would look like from the perspective of a man the size of a freakin’ thumbtack. For example, here’s what the poor guy had to go through after trying on the suit for the first time and discovering its insane abilities:
And there were plenty of shots like this, too:
Not mindblowing stuff, but pretty cool nonetheless. At least it’s not something you see everyday.
For those who need a refresher on the actual movie itself, here’s a (kind of) quick rundown:
We start off with a flashback to 1989, where we see Hank Pym (Douglas) walking into a small meeting of the minds at S.H.I.E.L.D., which includes Marvel legend Peggy Carter, and we find out that Pym is pretty pissed off after finding out people were trying to replicate his work. Apparently, he had been hiding the secret stuff that allowed him to change his size, because he knew how dangerous the technology could be in the wrong hands. He then resigns and says, “As long as I’m alive, nobody will ever get that formula.” So that’s that.
Back to present day, where we see Scott Lang (Rudd) getting his ass kicked in some sort of weird prison goodbye ceremony, only to then be escorted out of the gates and right into the van of his good pal, Luis. This is where we first see the on-screen magic between these two and are introduced to the comedic genius of Michael Peña, who plays Luis. From the get-go, the dude had me roaring almost every time he was on the screen, absolutely stealing the show at some parts. Peña is pure gold in this one. GOLD.
After getting fired from Baskin-Robbins when his manager discovers his criminal past, Lang visits Luis’s apartment, where two of Luis’s buddies, Dave (T.I.) and Kurt, are sitting at the table, looking all shady. Come to find out, they’re interested in having Scott help them with a “score,” a request which Lang immediately rebuffs. Luis then explains to the other two that while Lang is technically an ex-con, he was actually arrested for hacking into a company which stole millions from its customers (called Vista) and somehow distributing the funds back out the deserving folks. Lang then calls himself a “cat burglar” and not a robber, trying to look as non-criminal as possible.
Over to Pym Technologies, where we see a much older Hank Pym, who is apparently no longer running the very company which bears his name. His daughter, Hope van Dyne (Lilly) is also present, along with quite possibly the most douchey character in MCU history, Darren Cross. Apparently, this guy Cross was Pym’s former protégé whom is now responsible for running the company. Cross is obsessed with continuing Pym’s research, which Pym kept hidden from him, and is miffed that he was lied to about the whole Ant-Man thing. Come to find out, Cross was able to get a hold of the formula and introduces his own miniature “hero” idea: Yellow Jacket. He also lets Pym know about his plan to sell the technology to those who want to create an army of miniature super soldiers.
Sure, he was an A-hole, but that suit is DOPE.
Pym tries to reason with Cross not to pursue the tech any further, and he especially warns against selling it as a weapon. Cross doesn’t care, some even more douchey guys with money show up, and Pym’s not a happy camper. However, apparently he and Hope, who serves as Cross’s second hand, have been conspiring to stop Cross behind his back for a while now.
We then see Lang show up to his daughter’s birthday party, an event at which he is NOT welcome by anyone besides his disgustingly adorable daughter. Not only is he being shunned for being an ex-con, but he also realizes he needs money, and he needs it fast. At which point, he goes back to Luis’s place to ask about that “score.”
Cue the first hilarious Peña rant recap of the movie:
Lang accepts, and they go to rob the house. Come to find out, though, they’re not robbing a safe full of money – and even more importantly, they’re not just robbing any old house. Once Lang breaks open the safe, which is actually a room, we see the Ant-Man suit sitting there, which he quickly grabs and books it out of the house. We also then see a shot of good old Pym watching Lang rob his house, which seems a bit odd at first.
I already showed you what happens when he tries on the suit, which causes him to go right back to Pym’s place and “return it.” Upon leaving the house, who else is there but the cops, right? Boom. Back to jail for Mr. Lang.
OK, we’re getting a bit long here, so time for a Peña-style recap of the next chunk of the film:
Pym pulls a fast one, tricking the cops into thinking he was Lang’s lawyer in order to try and get him out of jail.
We find out that Pym had actually planned the entire thing, down to his house being robbed, because he’s been following Lang ever since finding out about his story. He then forces Lang to use the suit to escape prison.
After waking up at Pym’s house, Lang first meets Hope, who is nahhht a fan.
Pym explains to Lang why he’s there. Hope remains pissed off because she wants to do it herself. Pym seems really dead set against that whole idea for some reason. Lang tells him to call the Avengers. Pym says he’s spent his whole life trying to keep his tech away from the Starks and anyone associated with them.
They talk about a plan to infiltrate Pym Technologies and destroy Cross’s plans.
Then begins a whole training montage of Lang learning how to be Ant-Man, which is basically the MCU’s version of “Rocky III” minus the beach.
During this time, we also see Cross discover how to finally shrink organic matter without killing it. So that’s not good. And we get to see Lang fight Falcon when attempting to steal a piece of tech from the Avengers facility:
Lang also convinces Luis and the boys to help them with their plan. We also find out that Pym has been keeping Hope away from danger the whole time after losing her mother Janet (aka the original Wasp) in a mission years ago. And this is actually super important. Apparently, in order to diffuse a Russian (because of course) bomb, she had to shrink down to sub-atomic levels and enter the Quantum Realm, which had never been done before. Pym says it’s “a reality where all concepts of time and space become irrelevant as you shrink for all eternity.” He never saw her again and has spent his life trying to get her back. (He had previously been lying to Hope and saying it was a plane crash that killed her mother. *Cue heartwarming father-daughter healing scene.*)
And off to Pym Technologies…
A lot of stuff happens inside and outside the facility, everyone escapes (including Cross), and the building itself basically implodes as everyone is getting away. Lang follows Cross, who throws on the Yellow Jacket suit and becomes super tiny himself, all the way to Lang’s daughter’s house.
As Cross is holding Lang’s daughter hostage, Lang decides to take the leap and go sub-atomic to get inside the Yellow Jacket suit and destroy Cross. He’s able to do so, but he also almost gets stuck in the Quantum Realm forever. Lo and behold, he finds a way out, and with both Cross and the tech destroyed, the movie is basically over. (Pym also walks in on Lang smooching with Hope at the very end, setting up the future of the franchise. The first post-credit scene also has Pym showing Hope the Wasp suit he’s been hiding in the basement for years. SPOILER ALERT: She becomes the new Wasp.)
Again, I had a blast watching this one the first time, and I had almost just as much fun watching it again. Rather than making it your typical “good guy vs. bad guy” cookie-cutter super hero flick, the MCU seemed to be more interested in creating an origin story that was simultaneously a redemption story for a new and really fun character.
I have a hard time coming to terms with this movie. Avengers: Age of Ultron is a strange crossroads for the MCU. The film has some great moments and sets up a ton of what is to come in Phase 3, but just tends to stumble over itself constantly with some laughable choices and poor pacing. Even though it is the 11th movie in the MCU, it is the first direct sequel to The Avengers which obviously comes with built-in expectations. Here’s a quick re-cap for those that need a refresher.
Avengers: Age of Ultron suffers from the same problem as most of the Phase 2 films. They all sort of feel like filler. Phase 1 was able to build excitement from the promise that we were about to see all our heroes on the big screen together for the first time. Flash-forward to Phase 2 and we have more of a “been there, done that” mentality. I’ve seen them assemble, so now what? Phase 2 promised us a new direction, the lead up to the Infinity Stone plot line. So what do our heroes do in the meantime? The answer is, not much.
Ultron in itself is a plot device designed to stall. You have a self-made threat, created by Tony that is the newest danger to the existence of mankind. James Spader does fine with the character, but Ultron’s presence alone is just a stop-gap until Thanos shows up. The Infinity Stone plot line is at least front and center, with several references to the stones encountered so far and Thor claiming this all isn’t happening by chance and that there must be someone manipulating them from afar. Very astute observation, Thor.
The film does give us some new characters, most notably Vision and Scarlett Witch. Vision, who is essentially a demi-god, is a solid addition to the team. The character is played by Paul Bettany, who is best known in the MCU as the voice of Jarvis. It is kind of crazy to think just how well thought out things are behind the scenes at Marvel. Kudos.
There’s a ton that bothers me in this movie though. Thor’s lightning pool scene. Quicksilver dodging bullets all movie long to just get a shot a thousand times and die. Hawkeye having a wife and kids just hanging out at home. All things designed to distract us that this plot isn’t really advancing.
It’s tough to follow up one of the most successful movies of all time in The Avengers. Director Joss Whedon famously exited Marvel Studios after this film because it stressed him out too much. Luckily at this point we were only a year away from Captain America: Civil War, which is essentially Avengers 2.5 and feels like a more natural place to take these characters after the events of the first Avengers movie. Overall, Ultron is very meh.
Granted I’m not exactly Ari Gold so I don’t know who’s hot in the producer streets, but this is a mixed bag of credits for the guys tapped to helm the reboot. 22 Jump Street? Good! Fast and Furious? Good! Cloverfield Paradox? …OK. The upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog movie? Oh my this is going to be a disaster.
11 years. It’s been more than a decade since Tony Stark “built this in a cave with a box of scraps.” Avengers: Endgame is officially in theaters and I’ve been hiding from Twitter for the past week, minus a few ribbings at the expense of Mr. John Tavares and the Toronto Chokealeafs. Endgame is the culmination of everything in the MCU, a definitive end for many of the characters we’ve been watching since the days of George W.
The 300s 