If the #RedSox were ever going to get into the giant headed mascots racing thing, who should their 3 former players be? @45PedroMartinez for sure. Or should they be some other non-baseball figures? Like the cast of Cheers, etc?#WBZpic.twitter.com/xgNmI0r0Yl
GREAT question here, Joe. Now lets not just leave this to former Red Sox players though; thats too narrow. While I get what Joe is saying about Cheers, I am throwing that idea in the trash, respectfully of course. So any former Sox player or famous Bostonian is up for grabs in this poll. Here are some of the top Boston guys that I think would be A+ giant headed mascots
Trot Nixon
I cannot picture anything funnier than one of those abominations running around Fenway with the dirtiest gigantic hat ever made.
Kevin Youkilis
Youk would probably be the most easily recognizable giant headed mascot in the game with a 3 foot tall goatee.
Nomar Garciaparra
Once the sports book opens at the Wynn in Everett (lets go Mayor Walsh) I would HAMMER the moneyline on Nomah winning this race 5 nights a week.
Pedro Martinez
He would have a slight disadvantage though because a giant headed Pedro mascot would need to be taped to a poll as part of the costume.
Luis Tiant
El Tiante with a cigar the size of a pool noodle would be a dark horse candidate in every race.
Bill Burr
The angriest giant headed mascot you’ll ever see. Would never win shit because he is a comedian, not a track star, but Old Billy Red Balls would be a fan favorite for sure.
Ben Affleck/Matt Damon
They can’t have one without the other. Would be required they run the race as a three legged man.
Doug Flutie
The man is a damn legend. Forget the hail mary TD, the guy completed a drop kick in a live NFL game. My family literally has a framed picture of that shit in the basement. True story.
Who ya got? Tweet your best answers to me @The300sBoston so I can debate you on mascots instead of being productive in the cube.
Captain America: Civil War (2016) is one of my favorite Marvel movies and I think a lot of people agree with that sentiment. My worry going back and watching Cap 3 for the first time in years was that it would just be me remembering another OK movie through rose colored glasses because of the incredible airport scene. Fear not, despite yet another convoluted villain character, this movie still kicks ass all these years later. As it should, considering this movie really made up for the disappointing Avengers 2. They should have called this movie Avengers 2.5. It also has the distinction of giving Captain America hands down the best complete trilogy in all of the MCU. Iron Man 2 and 3 leave much to be desired. Thor 2 was not great, and Guardians 3 is TBD. Now lets get to it!
Oooooh I love cold opens.
It’s 1991 and Winter Solider is back. It seems like he’s being tortured by the Russians, but after a series of code words uttered wake him up you see he’s basically a brainwashed spy for the Russki’s. They send him out on a retrieval mission and he whacks someone driving a caddy and takes some blue goo from their trunk. Title card.
We cut to Scarlet Witch, Captain America, Black Widow, and Falcon scouting out a scene in Nigeria for a mission which quickly turns into an all out firefight
“Wanda, just like we practiced,” Cap says to Scarlet Witch, implying the training thats been taking place before this.
But, wait its not just some faceless mercs, it’s Crossbones who is already an established villain apparently, but someone I again had to look up to remember his story. For anyone thats forgot like me he played Brock Rumlow in Captain America 2 as a sleeper cell agent for HYDRA. Welp Crossbones tries to suicide bomb Cap, only to be temporarily stopped by Scarlet Witch, who in an effort to levitate him to safety accidentally blows up half a building.
And thats how you get the Sokovia Accords.
Holy christ they CGI’d Tony Stark’s de-aged face onto a teenager’s body.
Tony Stark gets confronted by a woman who blames Stark for her son’s death in….you guessed it, Sokovia.
And thats how you get the Sokovia Accords.
The Secretary of State drops in on Avengers HQ to lecture the team about all the collateral damage they’ve caused with literally no repercussions.
It raises an interesting question though, what gives the Avengers the right to operate with “unlimited power and no supervision,” as the Secretary puts it?
We are introduced to Helmut Zimo, who is another HYDRA agent on a mission. Zimo is torturing another old Russian general. When he asks how Zimo found him he directly references the gigantic Wiki Leaks dump Black Widow did at the end of Winter Soldier.
This is where the split between the team members of the Avengers begins. Tony Stark the rogue “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist” immediately opts to surrender his rights and sign the Sokovia Accords. This basically gives the Avengers the United Nations for a boss, which military lifer Captain America is just unwilling to do. It’s quite the role reversal we see here and drives the wedge between the team when half of them sign and half of them don’t.
Sokovia Accords ceremony gets bombed to high hell and King T’Chaka, of one Wakanda, is killed in the blast, which we will learn later leads to the introduction of another hero.
But who would bomb the Sokovia Accords? Oh well the news immediately identifies the culprit as one Bucky Barnes. That took 5 minutes, but sure. We’re then introduced to the first incident with the Sokovia Accords exposing why it’s such a pain in the ass. By not signing the document, Captain America isn’t allowed to interfere so he and his crew are officially outlaws at this point.
Cap going to help his friend out turns into Cap aiding and abetting a wanted terrorist realll quick though. He nearly gets out of it unscathed too until a goddamn Black Panther drops out of the clouds to stop them. United Nations sanctioned War Machine joins the party and congratulates Cap for now being a criminal before all three are arrested. Oh and we learn that Black Panther is in fact King T’Chaka’s son, T’Challa.
“I’m not getting that shield back am I,” Cap asks.
“Technically it’s the government’s property,” Black Widow shoots back.
This movie has a lot of parallels to X-Men 3: The Last Stand. As bad as that movie was it’s how this storyline could very easily turn, with the world calling for the eradication of Mutants and the Mutants fighting back. Here we have Tony trying to stave off “something worse” than signing a document.
Hey look its Zimo who somehow works for the government and is the exact guy interrogating Bucky Barnes. K? Zimo uses an EMP to knock out all the power in the building so he can say the code words to turn Bucky back into the Russian spy he was back in 1991. But, before we get into that, maybe War Machine can explain what the hell happened with that EMP?
Bucky is in brainwashed mode yet again and nearly kills everyone before Cap is able to knock him out before he can escape. He snaps out of it and explains to Cap how he got his brain scrambled again and what these guys might be looking for exactly.
“Because I’m not the only Winter Soldier,” Bucky says as a flashback shows exactly what that Blue Goo was from the opening of the movie. A group of psychos Bucky refers to as the most elite death squad in Hydra history were also injected with that serum, but they all seem to be pretty unhinged.
Tony Stark is officially given an assignment to bring in the rogue Avengers, but without half their team, Hulk, and Thor to back them up it’s time to do a little recruiting.
We head to Queens to meet the best Peter Parker ever put on film, who Tony quickly takes a liking to and invites him to Germany for a little project. Cut to Hawkeye who’s come out of “retirement” to bust Scarlet Witch out of house arrest, which takes a little duel with Vision to do so. Black Widow recruits Black Panther and Cap hits up Agent Peggy’s niece (whom he also macks on) to get back his shield and Falcon’s suit. And to round out the crew we got a starstruck Ant-Man meeting Cap and the rest of the rogue Avengers.
Paul Rudd should be in every one of these movies from here on out.
Tony and his crew of War Machine, Black Widow, Black Panther, Spider-Man, and Vision show up to shut that shit down. Let the Battle Royale begin.
Most of it’s all fun and games with some cheeky one liners, ya know except for Rhodes getting paralyzed. Other than that though, it’s all a pretty good time before Cap and Bucky escape and head to Russia to figure out WTF is going on. HYDRA winter soldier death squad, sleeper cell evil scientists?
The rest of Cap’s crew is on lockdown in the “max security underwater super pokey” as Tony describes it. He seems to be realizing this whole Sakovia Accords thing may have been a bad idea.
Tony learns of Zemo and with a tip from Falcon heads to Berlin, which don’t ya know is exactly where Bucky and Cap are headed. Zemo finds the old HYDRA lab in Berlin and locates the other winter soldiers saved on ice.
In a change of heart Tony realizes what Cap has been trying to do this whole time and joins forces with him.
Now this is where this movie gets weird. We finally see those other winter soldiers, but Zemo has already killed them all? So this whole thing was all a ploy to get the Avengers here? Bombing the UN, framing Bucky Barnes, killing innocent people for what?
“An empire toppled by its enemies can be rebuilt, but one that crumbles from within, thats dead forever,” Zemo says.
Zemo plays the security cam footage of Tony Stark’s parents not actually dying in a car crash, but getting straight up murdered by Bucky Barnes all those years ago. And it turns out Captain America knew the whole time.
Welp, there goes Tony’s renewed alliance with Cap and Buck. Blind with rage Tony will stop at nothing to kill Bucky now, even if it means going through Cap. After some serious hand to hand combat, it seems like Iron Man is in some deep shit, but with a blast from his goddamn chest piece Tony blows off Bucky’s metal arm.
Turns out Zemo’s family was killed in the shitshow that was Sokovia. Knowing he couldn’t kill the Avengers himself, he plotted to have them destroy each other. Black Panther apprehends Zemo before he can kill himself meanwhile Cap and Ton continue to beat the hell out of each other. Cap gets the upperhand and Tony drops a real heart wrenching quote that forces him to leave his shield.
Captain America goes full rogue and busts his half of the Avengers out of super max prison and leaves Tony with a promise, and a flip phone, that if he ever needs him he’ll be there.
Mid credits scene: Cap and Bucky are in Wakanda as Bucky decides being frozen once again is the best thing for everyone until they can figure out whats up. Oh and these guys have quite the technology don’t they?
Post credits scene:
This movie absolutely holds up and is one of the best of the entire MCU. It doesn’t really advance the overall plot of the Infinity Stones or the impending threat from Thanos, but this is a popcorn flick to beat all popcorn flicks. Captain America: Civil War is like when you finally get to open all your presents on Christmas Day and play with all your toys at once.
In just three weeks since the offseason and new NFL league year began, the Patriots have already lost each of the following from last year’s squad:
Their starting left tackle (Trent Brown)
Their top defensive lineman (Trey Flowers)
Their starting tight end (Rob Gronkowski)
Their top kick returner (Cordarrelle Patterson)
OH, and they could potentially lose their kicker, too, as Stephen Gostkowski still remains a free agent.
Now, it might be a bit misleading to say they “lost” each of these players; many presumed that guys like Brown and Flowers would be too pricey for the Pats to keep, and the team was likely preparing to move on from them anyway. However, the news of Gronk’s retirement certainly wasn’t ideal, and we know the team already swung and missed on multiple free agents or guys on the trade block so far as well (e.g. Antonio Brown, Adam Humphries, Cole Beasley, etc.).
MAN, this dude would’ve looked good rockin’ the Flying Elvis.
Look, I’ve been a die-hard Pats fan for almost two decades now, and Bill always finds a way to build a competitive roster, no matter what. But this offseason saw the team take some pretty big hits, and besides Julian Edelman and a solid running game, the team’s offense is pretty barren.
The thing is, after Gronk’s retirement and a few contract restructurings, the team now has about $23 million available in cap space after having just pennies a few weeks ago. (Which, like, WTF??!!! We couldn’t have figured all this out BEFORE free agency began, guys??!! SERIOUSLY??!!) At this point, I bet they’re saving up the dough for all the extra draft picks they’ll have this year or future re-signings, as there really isn’t anything noteworthy left on the market. (Maybe we could go after Michael Crabtree or Ndamukong Suh?? Ehhhh.)
Love ya, bud, but you couldn’t have said something in February???
While it’s always a futile effort to try and predict anything Belichick will ultimately do, here is at least a quick ranking of the team’s biggest remaining needs this offseason:
1. Tight End
OK. This one seems almost too easy. After losing arguably the greatest tight end to ever play the game, it should be pretty obvious that attempting to replace him would be at the top of the team’s priority list. Some, though, might say that trying to find a replacement for Gronk perhaps shouldn’t be the main focus; he’s a generational talent, and rarely has a team ever had someone so dominant and game-changing at the position. Rather than trying to replicate what they had with him, maybe they should focus on improving other areas of the offense, as they’ll never again find another Robert James Gronkowski.
Sure. I get that. But the team’s current options at the position are pretty bleak. At the moment, the team has Jacob Hollister, Stephen Anderson, Matt LaCosse, and something named Ryan Izzo (?) as its only tight ends on the roster. While Hollister has shown flashes of talent when given the chance, he can’t seem to shake the injury bug and has really only proven his worth in preseason action. Anderson is a decent piece with some potential; I liked some of what I saw from him during his time with the Texans. (No really, though. I think I’ve even started him in fantasy once or twice.) And apparently the team likes LaCosse, as they made a point to sign him as a free agent this offseason. (I literally know ZILCH about Izzo. Moving on…)
Again, while they’ll never find another Gronk, the position has always been a huge part of the team’s offense. Not only have over 20 percent of the team’s total targets gone to guys playing tight end over the past five seasons, but the running game has also relied upon some great blocking from the position, too. For as much as people think of Gronk as a receiver, he was also one the game’s elite blockers, regardless of position. The team also cut Dwayne Allen this offseason, who was another great guy to have up front. Especially with the investment the team has made in the future of its rushing attack, in addition to the lackluster receiving group, something else really needs to be added here this offseason.
Iowa’s Noah Fant is an almost too perfect fit for the team and would be a steal at the end of the first round…if he makes it to that point. (OH, and look he even wears Gronk’s number. Hmmm…)
2. Wide Receiver
WOW, MATTES! Way to go out on a limb.
I know, I know. Even the most casual Patriots fan knows the team needs some serious help at receiver. But it still doesn’t change the fact it’s one of their top needs, SO BACK OFF.
Anyway, while Edelman is still playing at the top of his game, the only other somewhat reliable receiver the team has right now is Phillip Dorsett. Josh Gordon is still under contract, and he was terrific during his time on the field last season. But, while he could potentially play for the team in 2019, who the hell really knows what’s going to end up happening with that guy? The team also recently signed journeyman Bruce Ellington as well as a guy with some sneaky potential in Maurice Harris. But, in reality, Edelman and Dorsett are the team’s top receivers for 2019 so far. Yikes.
Looks like Jules is going to have to be THE man again in 2019.
Fortunately, there is a lot of talent at wide receiver (and tight end) in this year’s draft, so the team could choose to pounce on someone in the early rounds. But, Belichick’s never really been too successful going that route, and I’d still like to see them bring in another veteran guy on a cheap flyer (again, Crabtree??) or via trade. Brady is in desperate need of some more weapons.
3. Linebacker
Here is a position that is being overlooked by Patriots fans this offseason. I don’t think people realize how weak the team was at times over the middle of the defense in 2018. And, to be honest, if we didn’t have such a stellar secondary to clean up the mistakes of those in front of them, it could’ve been worse.
While some might think I get on Kyle Van Noy too much, I want everyone to know that I do realize his value as a pass-rusher/edge defender. He stepped up big time, especially in the playoffs, and he is a key piece on D. I’m not denying that. However, neither he nor Dont’a Hightower (who continues to look older and older with each passing snap) could cover a blind paraplegic stuck in molasses if their life depended on it. Not only did the team give up the ninth-most receiving yards to the running back position last season, but in the playoffs both of these guys also allowed almost SEVENTY PERCENT of the targets thrown their way to be completed. WOOF.
Van Noy giveth, and Van Noy taketh away.
And there’s also the fact that Van Noy and Hightower are literally the only two linebackers who played significant snaps last season. Elandon Roberts has been all but forgotten. And while I am intrigued by second-year man Ja’Whuan Bentley – who showed a lot of promise before losing most of last season due to injury – we still need another guy, specifically one with some speed. Regardless of how you feel about anyone in the team’s current linebacking corps, there’s no doubt that the depth here is super thin.
(BOLD PREDICTION: Jamie Collins, an above-average coverage guy and former Belichick special project, ends up coming back to Foxborough on a cheap deal.)
Round 2, anyone???
4. Offensive Tackle
Again, here’s what seems like another pretty obvious choice, but I’m not highlighting the position solely due to the loss of Trent Brown. After all, the team did spend a first-round pick on a guy last year, Isaiah Wynn, whom is expected to take over and slide right into the left tackle spot this season. And they still have a steady-but-declining Marcus Cannon on the right side as well. Pretty much, the starters are set.
But behind that, there’s really not much. After losing swing tackle Cameron Fleming to Dallas in free agency before last season, the Pats then lost LaAdrian Waddle as a free agent to Buffalo this offseason. Waddle, while not a stud by any means, is a guy who played in 30 games (starting seven of them) for the team since 2016, filling in at both tackle spots whenever needed. (He wasn’t spectacular, but he was a solid, reliable guy who knew the system nonetheless.) So, in reality, the team is down two of its top four tackles from last season.
They did just go out and sign some guy named Cedrick Lang this week – who was drafted in 2016 and has yet to see an NFL snap – and there’s some who really believe in third-year man Cole Croston. Still, though, I’d like to see another solid tackle added within the first couple rounds this April, especially in a draft that is so deep at the position.
I don’t know anything about this Lang guy. But I guess a 26-year-old, 6’7″, 300-pounder is never a bad thing to have.
To me, these are the areas in which the team could see the biggest issues in 2019 if not addressed right away. While a lot of people may also bring up positions like the defensive line or quarterback, I feel as though the team already has enough at both of these spots to get them by for now. (The draft is also LOADED at pass-rusher, so we can feel pretty safe assuming we’ll get at least one or two of ’em.)
What do you think, Pats Nation? Do you agree with my rankings? Is there another position I overlooked entirely? Be sure to let us know in the comments!
Grenga here back with another installment of Liquor Store Etiquette, and a handful of new Do’s & Don’ts to help you make it through your harrowing journey to the local packie. Last time I gave you a fair amount of my own background, so this time I’ll just dive right in.
1. Bring Your ID
Do. Bring your damn ID. I don’t care how old you are, bring your ID. You are buying alcohol. This should be pretty straightforward, but I can’t tell you how many people I’ve turned away because they look college age and don’t have an ID on them. I can understand how a person in their 50s with grey hair might get annoyed at this, but chances are that person won’t get ID’ed anyway. In case you do, don’t get offended. The people behind the counter are just doing their job, and it’s your job to have documentation that you can legally purchase what it is you are trying to take home. And please do not give me the “ugh, I’m 24” response. Bitch, you aren’t old. I’m not saying that you look 16 when I’m ID’ing you. I’m saying you look under 40…which you fucking are, so shut up. Also, if you’re with anyone who is underage, leave them in the car. There are things called “Party Laws” where everyone in the party needs an ID. Don’t have one? Keep out of sight so you don’t ruin it for your friends. That goes for teenage children with their family members too.
Right after the Patriots completed the insanity that was the greatest comeback ever in the Super Bowl against the Falcons, Geneo Grissom, his wife and two friends came into my store looking for a bottle of wine and a 6 pack to go with dinner at the BYOB place down the street from us. Three of them had ID’s, but Geneo’s wife, a tiny five-foot-nothing blonde who looked like a high school cheerleader, did not. Her response? “Uh, you can google me.” FUUUUCK you….I googled her anyway, and guess what? She was TWENTY-FUCKING-THREE. And the only thing google had to say about her then and now is that she is Geneo Grissom’s wife. Get that arrogance out of my damn face! I wasn’t about to turn away a Super Bowl Champ just because his wife sucked, but I did explain to them that the only reason I was doing so was because they just made the greatest comeback anyone will ever see. What should you take away from that story? Unless you’ve recently won a world championship in something, bring your fucking ID. Also, Mrs. Grissom is a jerk.
2. Store Workers Hate Trophy Hunters
Are you a trophy hunter when it comes to rare stouts, IPA’s, whiskeys and wines? Great! I don’t care. I couldn’t give any less shits about the number of bottles in your cabinet. Also, if you’re dumb enough to buy a bunch of expensive whiskeys, open them, and then never drink them again, guess what? Hard alcohol, like every other kind of alcohol, oxidizes and goes bad over time. It may take over a year to do so, but you don’t have forever. If you’re spending hundreds of dollars on rare products, make sure it’s not going to waste. Don’t brag to me about what you have in your cellar, because again, I do not give a shit, and you’re more likely to make yourself sound dumb than cool.
Another thing: if you’re going to be a trophy hunter, it’s a good idea to know at least a little about what you’re asking for and when it’s available. There are idiots everywhere who saunter into stores and expect people to have a bottle of Pappy, Yamazaki, Weller, etc just sitting around. Nobody does, and if you did even a little bit of research you’d be able to find that out on your own. If you are lucky enough to have found one of these online, don’t tell me how much you paid for it. Chances are you paid hundreds more than the initial retail price for a product that is comparable to plenty of stuff on the shelves if you know where to look. I once had a guy brag to me he bought a bottle of Pappy 10 for $500 (when in stock, we sold ours for $65).
If you do this, you’re lucky you don’t get laughed out of the store.
Many of these products only get released once a year. When they do the majority of stores either post online, raffle them off, have a waiting list or offer them to their best customers. They NEVER end up on the shelf. If you aren’t loyal to that store, you aren’t getting it. So fuck off.
3. Don’t Try to Out-do the Sales Associate
There’s a lot of people out there who like to sound special when talking about the products they drink. This point goes hand in hand with the points I made about trophy hunters. We don’t care what you’ve got in your basement or how long you waited in line to buy the beer in your fridge. If you want a recommendation on something like Treehouse or Trillium, of course I can help. But if all you drink is beer from those companies, don’t pontificate to me that you understand beer or have any idea about all of the other great beer that’s out there these days. Don’t get me wrong, those companies make excellent beer. However, when you consider you’re spending almost $25 per 4-pack, you wait in line for over an hour at a place that’s hours away, and you’re buying beers with the same hops you find everywhere else (Citra and Mosaic FTW), it’s really difficult for me to get excited for you. Now everyone should try beers from Treehouse and Trillium, among others, because they are great. Personally though, I think of them mainly as a reference point for the stuff you can actually buy at a retail store. Any respectable craft beer shop should have at least 5 beers in the same class. I personally stocked Fort Hill Jigsaw Jazz, 14th Star Tribute, Barnstable Brewing Examen, Two Roads Two Juicy, and IPA’s from Proclamation, Singlecut, Fiddlehead, and way more on a regular basis. All of these products (with the exception of Singlecut) are less than $20 a 4-pack and readily available. Add in the fact that Trillium has been at the center of several controversies, and there’s really no reason for me to get excited about that company.
4. Don’t be Afraid to Return Stuff That Seems Off
This is a tricky one. Unless you’ve had a lot of experience with corked wines or dirty tap lines, it can be hard to tell if a product is off. It can be a little easier if you’re out at a bar, because you can ask the staff what they think (assuming the staff is honest with you). If something tastes off or your cocktail is all ice, it’s okay to send it back and ask for a new beer. Just don’t be a dick about it and maybe try something else next time.
When it comes to returning stuff to a store, be open-minded. I’ve never personally enjoyed handling returned bottles of wine, because I am not an expert in all of the flaws that can arise in wine. TCA, or cork taint, is the probably the easiest of the bunch to identify. If you open a bottle and it smells like a musty basement or wet cardboard, that’s corked. A lot of people use the term to mean flawed, but that is a misnomer. TCA is a chemical that comes from natural corks and can eventually spread to the liquid. This kind of thing happens, so any store should replace this on the spot. This flaw only gets worse over time as well, so if you don’t bring it back immediately it shouldn’t be an issue. For more on wine flaws, check out this article from Wine Folly here.
On the other hand, if you get something that tastes off but aren’t sure, you can bring that back too. However, do so within a day or two of opening it otherwise the bottle will oxidize too much for the wine associate to be able to tell. It also helps to not be an asshole about it and act like they owe you something just because you brought it back. I’m a lot less willing to help someone or give them a refund if they insist that a product is flawed when it is not. If you tell me “something tastes off about this but I’m not sure what it is” then I can work with you to explain what it is you are tasting. If there isn’t a problem, I’ll switch it out for something more your speed. But if you are a dick and don’t want to listen to what I have to say, then you can shove that bottle where the sun don’t shine.
Very rarely do we have issues with beer, but often the problems we do see come from issues on the canning line. We’ll see cans that weren’t sealed properly and leak or cans that lack pressure, both of which leave a flat beer. We’ll also see cans that aren’t filled all the way. These are easy enough to identify right off the bat and can be avoided simply by checking the cans before purchasing them. If you squeeze them and the cans have a noticeable amount of give to them, then just grab the next 4-pack. As for a low fill, that’s pretty self-explanatory. A craft store with a reliable staff should be able to pick these out before they even hit the shelf, but they do get missed from time to time.
Welp, that’s it for round two of Liquor Store Etiquette. I’d love to hear what people think about these posts. If there are any questions regarding maximizing an alcohol-buying experience, or tips on how to avoid awkward confrontations, I’m your guy!
SI – The Alliance of American Football will suspend football operations on Tuesday, reports ProFootballTalk. The league is just eight weeks into its inaugural season.
SI’s Albert Breer reported AAF team officials have a conference call with the league office at 1 p.m. ET. Breer reported there’s a perception inside the league that AAF majority owner Tom Dundon bought a bought a stake in the league for the gambling app being developed with one source saying, “Dundon got the technology he wanted and he’s now minus one rather large headache.” SI’s Conor Orr reported league heads were stunned and still working on a solution.
According to ProFootballTalk, the league is not folding yet but it is heading that way.
The writing has been on the wall for a while now as I’ve already written a few blogs over the past month about the AAF nearly going out of business and it’s barely Month 3 of the league’s lifespan. Welp, that’ll do it for the AAF apparently, who is heading the way of the dinosaur.
I bet the over on the Hotshots/Commanders game Sunday and now the league doesn’t even exist. Never take anything for granted. #RIP#AAF
I won’t rehash the same things I said in my last blog on this, but here’s what I had to say on a league not having a plan to make it through even one season:
“Who is running these leagues? Obviously we’ve seen football leagues come and go over the past 20 years as the NFL has maintained its stranglehold on consumers’ attention without even lifting a finger. Most of these leagues fail because its just morons running the business side of things it would seem.
In marketing they say the average person needs to see an ad or a brand message seven times before it sticks. Now apply that to the AAF. How many AAF games do you think the average sports fan has watched? One? Maybe two? The AAF *had* to be prepared for slow adoption, otherwise it was a stupid business venture.”
If thats true that is wild and I can imagine the other owners are bullshit. Those other owners probably feel swindled for paying to build up this football league only to have an investor come in and sell the whole thing for parts. But hey thats what happens when you sell majority ownership to a billionaire; you give up control. It’s fascinating just because I’ve never heard of anything like it. For all of its failings, the AAF was at least trying out innovative things, like the makings of a gambling app apparently.
Then on the other side of the Football Leagues Competing With the NFL coin is Vince McMahon who smells blood in the water now.
“Vince McMahon, who plans to give the XFL another shot next year, has sold $272 million worth of WWE stock, and company filings say that money will primarily go toward the XFL..McMahon has said he’s ready to spend $500 million over the first three years of the XFL to get the league off the ground, suggesting that even if the league struggles to gain traction at first, he’ll stick with it rather than pulling the plug after one season”
Vince seems to be pretty confident, cocky some would say, that he has fixed the issues that plagued the XFL the first time around. Despite the fact that a very similar concept just failed spectacularly, Vince has doubled down and is apparently ready to pour $500 million into the XFL.
Who knows if the XFL will be any more successful than the AAF, but I’ll tell you one thing, Vince will not fail because of a lack of marketing and promotion. Thats his bread and butter so don’t be surprised to see mass media promotions and gigantic billboards featuring Johnny Football, maybe Colin Kaepernick and whatever other fringe NFL players with a big name that they can find. Either way, this whole 2-3 year drama of new football leagues popping up and dying off will be a fascinating case study of monopolies in American business as the NFL crushes these competitors without even lifting a finger.
Speaking of Manziel, he’s the voice of reason and restraint here today, which was refreshing to see. My man is once again a free agent and as I’ve said before, it’s probably XFL or bust for his football career at this point.
If you’re an AAF player and the league does dissolve. The last check you got will be the last one that you get. No lawsuit or anything else will get you your bread. Save your money and keep your head up. It’s the only choice at this point unless something drastic happens.
I know we’ve all heard the jokes about how devalued Pete Rose’s autograph has become over the years because he legit signs anything and everything all day long in Las Vegas, but that didn’t change the fact that I desperately wanted to meet Charlie Hustle. I’m not looking to sell the goddamn thing, I’m looking for prime memorabilia for The 300s Podcast studio.
They literally have Pete sitting in a glass box like a wax statue in the MGM Grand while staff members stand outside the store to try and reel people in. It’s basically a gigantic memorabilia store that has everything from Pete Rose bats to autographed JFK memorial collages. Then the girl working the cash register sells you a bat or a pic or a ball for Pete to sign and they even let you take a picture with the man himself for a small fee. (Shoutout to Giorgio for ponying up for that.)
You go in and meet the man, the myth, the legend and he’s literally sitting there watching March Madness on a small TV and I start to become a little concerned this dude is not even going to glance at us. His employees must deal with that sense of dread a lot because the girl taking the pics literally says to us “Don’t worry Pete will look up for a pic when he’s done.” Umm thats good I guess?
I ask the baseball legend to sign it to The 300s and he says “…what is that?” I tell him and he signs the pic and I can’t help but wonder how many horrendous things he’s signed under false pretenses. Giorgio insists he’s heard of Pete signing photos that says he killed JFK. But once we took the pic he was actually a pretty good shit, very laid back dude who joked around with us for a couple of minutes. My one regret is not telling him how much I respect him for nearly killing that catcher for a goddamn exhibition game in the 1970 All-Star game. His name is Charlie Hustle so if you’re not prepared for the train, get off the tracks.
As has been alluded to and addressed, a number of folks from The 300s along with a crew of additional compadres will descend upon the city of sin this weekend to celebrate Red’s last few weeks as a man.
Now in reality, getting married is just another excuse for Red to refuse to go out and do anything fun; much like getting a dog, getting engaged, growing a beard, buying a grill, etc. However, society has deemed this one valid so there’s not much I or anything else can do or say about it.
We have an eclectic crew heading out for our weekend of drinking, gambling, professional hockey, tasteful prostitution, and more drinking. Not all men are made equal, especially when it comes to bachelor parties. There’s a weird “on a bachelor party” effect where folks tend to just slip into some sort of alter ego, no two which are the same. I can only imagine that this is only magnified in Las Vegas, a place I have never been but have ingested the lore of in great quantities.
So to prognosticate what will become of our conquering heroes, I partnered with a Professional Sports Scout to look at the game tape, read between the lines, scrutinize some measurements, and come to some conclusions.
Here’s what we drew up.
Big Z – Center Fielder, Stay-at-home Defenseman, OLB, 3-and-D Small Forward Most tenured veteran of the bunch…saw a dip in production over last few years….recently showed he still has “it”…committed to living and training in the elements to prepare….very willing when it comes to taking a gamble….locker room guy who can keep things organized and together….can he last the whole season?
Mattes – 2nd or 3rd Starter, Left Winger, Free Safety, 2 Guard Gunner Another prestigious career…workman-like through and through…sometimes apprehensive to give up the rock…still has gas left in the tank that he can call on…keeps fit with the use of herbal remedies, huge dedication to his physical condition….will prosper with a little change of scenery….huge team guy, could be a key clubhouse decision maker….may need a mid-game nap.
Papa Giorgio – Third Baseman, Enforcer/4th Line Something, Strong Safety, Small Ball 4 The personality and force of the group….has mellowed as late….one might say he’s just dormant as of now….will pick his spots….not afraid to leave it all out there, then immediately head home….will perform best with the right tunes played….has taken up fun running, which has nothing to do with this….recent move has him reinvigorated…dark horse MVP candidate.
Red – Shortstop, Offensive Defenseman, Scat Back, Point Guard Long known as the glue guy…. the brain to Giorgio’s brawn…has played sparingly of late on his own accord….does he still love the game?….does he only love craft sports?…..one last shot at glory, will he go for it?….Known as a 5-tool player….can do it all, might feel like he has something to prove…odds-on All-Pro.
Joey B – 2nd Baseman, Right Wing, Wildcat QB, Small Ball 3 Has signed a “Do Not Resuscitate” order.
ESPN – The majority owner of the Alliance of American Football told USA Today Sports that league is in danger of folding without help from the National Football League Players Association. Tom Dundon, who became the AAF’s chairman last month, told USA Today Sports in a recent interview that the NFLPA is not cooperating with the AAF by refusing to allow the first-year league to use young NFL players.
“If the players union is not going to give us young players, we can’t be a development league,” Dundon told USA Today Sports. “We are looking at our options, one of which is discontinuing the league.”
Dundon said he expects to make a decision about the league’s future over the next two days…The eight-team AAF, billed as a development league, kicked off the weekend following the Super Bowl. The league is seven games into its 10-game regular season.
What kind of business model pumps its own tires as much as the AAF did prior to launching only to make it barely 2 months before nearly going out of business TWICE? In case you forgot, they almost couldn’t make payroll in Week 2 of the first season. Who is running these leagues? Obviously we’ve seen football leagues come and go over the past 20 years as the NFL has maintained its stranglehold on consumers’ attention without even lifting a finger. Most of these leagues fail because its just morons running the business side of things it would seem.
In marketing they say the average person needs to see an ad or a brand message seven times before it sticks. Now apply that to the AAF. How many AAF games do you think the average sports fan has watched? One? Maybe two? The AAF *had* to be prepared for slow adoption, otherwise it was a stupid business venture.
First off, if the AAF’s thinly veiled expectation was for the NFL to welcome them with open arms and create yet another item on their budget sheet then they were sorely mistaken. Sure the NFL needs a minor league system….but they already have one.
It’s college College Football.
Does College Football’s love of wishbone offenses, pistol offenses, air raid offenses, shotgun only offenses, and run pass option offenses prepare players for the NFL? Well five years ago I would have said no, but now…um yea it kind of does. So many coaches are taking College Football offensive plays, concepts, and entire schemes and running them as is in the NFL now. Belichick does it, so does Andy Reid, Matt Nagy, Doug Pederson and Sean Payton.
So if the AAF was hoping to be a way of preparing young players for the standard operating procedure in the NFL, well then they’re fucked because the market has shifted.
To just expect this league full of no name players would be a mega hit from Day 1 is so shortsighted it’s almost funny. Did anyone in that league go to business school? Isn’t Bill Polian supposed to be one of the smartest football execs ever? Yet somehow they don’t have a plan to make it through even one full season without fears of going out of business?
I was texting back and forth with Mattes about this story and he summarized his opinion succinctly, if not spitefully, after getting roasted by AAF Reddit for somehow not believing in this league:
“As Dashboard Confessional once said: I AM VINDICATED.” – Mattes
Real talk though, this is not a good turn of events for my guy Johnny Manziel. After flaming out in two different football leagues, it would be some shit luck for the third one to just straight go out of business. Looks like it’s XFL or bust baby.
Over the years, much has been written about the trials and tribulations of the retail worker. It’s been well documented that employees working in the retail and service industries often deal with the underbelly of society and the ugly side of people you would otherwise think are respectable, upstanding citizens. I’ve personally worked in retail for over half of my life, and have worked in the alcohol industry in particular for nearly a decade. In that time, I’ve seen a lot. In the span of a few posts, I’d like to share some insights from my side of the counter in hopes of creating a more aware, educated public that will stop being such fucking idiots when trying to perform the relatively simple task of picking out a 6-pack.
As a disclaimer, all of my experience comes from working in cities and towns outside of Boston. Most of this comes from one shop in particular, and I can only imagine that people working in more urban settings have even more outrageous stories to tell. First, a little about why I’m qualified to tell you to fuck off. I started off as an entry level wine associate reading, doing tastings, and most importantly, drinking. Eventually I worked my way up to becoming a beer buyer and manager for a craft beer and wine shop in a Boston suburb. I’ve been in this particular role for about 17 months, but have amassed a wealth of knowledge when it comes to beer, wine and spirits over the course of my career. I am a Cicerone Certified Beer Server, the first step in becoming a Cicerone, although anyone who has gotten this certification will tell you it’s pretty basic and nothing to brag about. I wouldn’t call myself an expert on any aforementioned categories of alcohol because the more you learn about this stuff, the more you realize there is to learn. All I would say is this: I am a professional drinker; that is, I drink professionally.
What follows is the first part in a multi-part series of what to do and what not to do when interacting with the staff at your local liquor store.
1: Don’t Piss Your Pants on the Sales Floor
This would seem like an obvious one, no? Well guess what? This happened to me. One typical Tuesday afternoon, a construction worker guy came into my store demanding to know where the Twisted Tea Raspberry tall boys were. I explained to him that we were out and they would be coming in tomorrow, but this didn’t do. He told me he’d settle for a regular Twisted Tea tall boy, but needed to use the bathroom. At almost every liquor store I’ve worked at (5 in total), we’ve kept broken bottles and other crap in the bathrooms, so they are off limits to customers. The last thing we need is someone filing a lawsuit because they cut their wiener on broken glass while trying to piss. This guy didn’t like that answer, and next thing I know, we’ve got a Billy Madison Miles Davis situation going on. I let him use the bathroom, but needless to say he was banned.
2: Be Honest With Yourself About What You Like
My least favorite people to deal with are the regulars who don’t understand what they actually like, and insist they want the opposite of what they actually like. They hear buzzwords like juicy or fruity or jammy, and think for whatever reason there is something wrong with these words. I can’t tell you how often we have people insist they don’t like sweet wines but end up with a red blend with more residual sugar than a bar dark chocolate. They may not necessarily taste sugary because things like tannin and acidity can dull perceived sweetness, but that sugar is still there. Also, why do people insist on wanting wine that isn’t fruity?
These people, and Big IPA guys. Fuck, these guys suck. The majority of these guys drink one of two things: Bud Light or a “Big IPA.” These are the type of guys who don’t drink fruit beers because their hyper-masculinity tells them that fruit beers are chick drinks, yet their preferred method of intoxication is either alcoholic rice urine or canned orange juice. These are the same guys who order a Sex on the Beach in a whiskey glass without the umbrella because they don’t want to look gay. Hate to break it to you Bro McCarthy, but you like fruity drinks. What’s the hallmark of the New England IPA that has the beer world clamoring these days? Low bitterness, soft mouthfeel, high alcohol, and…you guessed it, TONS OF FUCKING FRUITY HOPS. Not to mention the fact that the difference between most of these beers is so minute, you’re basically just drinking one of three things…
At the end of the day, nobody should feel ashamed about what they like. There is no such thing as a gay drink, a chick drink, or a dudes drink. Everyone drinks everything. But the more honest you are with yourself about what you like, the easier it will be for the staff at your local shop to recommend things you like. We’re living in the golden age of alcohol with a ton variety out there across beer, wine and spirits. Unless you’re a professional or have the wallet and liver to constantly try new things, you’re going to need some help, and I’m willing to do so. In part two of this series, I’ll dig into when it’s acceptable to return stuff, why trophy hunters are obnoxious and who should bring their ID.
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The 300s 