Tag: Fantasy

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 5

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Can you believe we are already more than 1/4 of the way through the season? Pretty crazy considering it feels like yesterday it was June and we were DYING for football. I mean people, when we began this season McKayla Maroney wasn’t even back on IG! Crazy stuff.

Anyway, let’s get to how The 300s writers room did in fantasy football this week.


Joey B (0-5)

Another week and another loss. My team had it’s best squad yet and it just wasn’t enough. Squandered huge days from Thielen and Chark, to name a couple. We’ll try and get them next week.

Dom (2-3)

Another Rough Week for the Nerfherders. I went up against Watson, the Philly D and Thielen, so that makes me feel a little better, but my team did not show up and couldn’t even muster 100 points. I blame the Rams, as their defense has been nonexistent and Brandin Cooks got knocked the F out, but I need me a bounce back week ASAP.

Lippa (2-3)

I have always been a big Sammy Watkins stan, but you have to know there’s always going to be those weeks each year where he’s active and gets hurt on the first drive and gives you a bagel. Well, this was that week. That damn hammy is at it again. I’m at 2-3, but I have the least amount of points in the league which is quite worrisome. Tight End has been an absolute wasteland for me for the most part as I just can’t find anyone to get me good production from the spot.

Papa G (who refuses to ever send his record, 4-1)

Lost in my main league for the first time this weekend. Very lackluster performance from the troops. Lamar Jackson gave me his first dud performance as well. Oh well, at least Will Fuller 5 put up a massive 54 points for me in my other league. Insanity.

Red (Who also never sends me his record, 1-4)

I have scored more points each week for the last 4 weeks in a row and had my highest scoring week yet. Unfortunately I played the 3rd highest scoring team this week and lost by nearly 30 points. DJ Chark has been my best fantasy pickup in years and his 32 points along with Cooper Kupp’s 22 meant nothing since my opponent had 37 from Matt freaking Ryan, 37 from Michael Thomas, 27 from Josh Jacobs and 14 from his kicker. I’m about ready for The 300s Fantasy WNBA League to start back up…

Mattes (4-1)

I’m just waiting for the inevitable crash and burn, but I am FLYING HIGH right now. Besides last week’s heartbreaker, my team has continued to straight steamroll my competition. I’m currently sitting in first place at 4-1, I’m second in the league in the points overall, and goddamn it feels good. Dalvin and Thielen continue to be an unreal 1-2 RB/WR combo. I didn’t even start Dak this week either (went with Dalton against the Cards instead), and he’s set up with some real cupcake matchups in the coming weeks. Breida also had a monster game, and he’s locked in as one of the league’s best running offense’s key contributors. (Also, how bout that sneaky Auden Tate play as my second FLEX. 😎) Still got Kerryon, Robert Woods, Kelce, and a solid bench as well. Again, I still can’t help having this sinking feeling in my gut, and I’m going against the No. 1 team in the league this week. But for now, WEEEEEE!!!!

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 3

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Blogger’s Note: Sorry for the tardiness this week. Big time snooze button week for the boys at The 300s. Leave us alone.

Welcome back. Week 3 has come and gone already. So have the playoff hopes of many of your favorite teams. Sorry I’m not sorry. Anyway, it was an interesting week in fantasy football, particularly within this modest enterprise. Losers became winners. Winners became losers. Some things didn’t change. Let’s check it out.


Biz Z (2-1)

Week 3 was a good week for the Z Men. A very good week. We rolled up 191 points. A personal record, and the highest one-week total in the 12-year history of my league. My only regret was starting Allen Robinson over Brandin Cooks. That kept me from hitting two bills. (Side note – my league’s scoring system is a bit goofy. Even in a standard Yahoo league I would’ve posted 159.)


Dom (2-1)

The Scruffy Looking Nerfherders did it again. Led by a 43 point showing by Keenan Allen and rounded out by solid games by Brady, Zeke, TY Hilton, Marlon Mack, I hardly noticed the duds by Conner and Andrews. Conner is really starting to frustrate me, but luckily I have the depth to wait him out or try to make a 2 for 1 trade. I’m only 5 points back of the league lead in points, so I’m feeling great going into Week 4.

Joey B (0-3)

I would have finally gotten on the board had I started recently acquired Rex Burkhead. But I did not. Did I err in starting someone else? Nope, just simply forgot to sub him in. “Things fall apart, the center cannot hold.”


Red (0-3)

Another week, another painful fantasy loss for your boy. This one was especially tough to swallow because my opponent jumped into the way back machine to pull out the W. I lost by 4 points after Lesean fucking Mccoy went off for 21 points like it was 2013 again. It also did not help that Ezekiel Elliott’s own backup outscored him by 5 points with garbage time points. Goddamnit.

 

Mattes (3-0)

My entire team dominated this week, and I ended up being the third-highest scorer yet again. That’s now three-straight top-three finishes, and I cannot believe how great of a start it’s been. Even my flexes showed out this week, as I got unreal performances from both Sterling Shepard and Rex Burkhead. Dak, Dalvin, and Kelce continue to roll; Kerryon is at least getting volume and is due to explode soon; Thielen finally got a bit more involved on Sunday; and my bench is still stacked, with Scary Terry McLaurin set to get his first start this week as well. I’m waiting for the inevitable crash and burn, but I’ll take 3-0!!!

 

Lippa (2-1)

A solid 138 point week from my team to move to 2-1. Things were looking a little hazy when Mike Evans scored a bazillion points in the first half of his game, but Tyler Lockett and Alvin Kamara balled out in the second half of that Seahawks/Saints game to get me up to 2-1. Next week QB streaming continues, as Josh Allen goes to the waiver bog, and Matthew Stafford, your time is now, as you face a porous Chiefs secondary.

 

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 2

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I would like to use this introductory paragraph to point out the fact that so far the Patriots defense is the highest scoring opponent they’ve yet to encounter this season.

Moving along, Week 2 has come and gone in the fantasy world and teams have begun to take shape, some players have been added and dropped, 15 QBs have been ruled out for the season, and one missing a chromosome has been benched and possibly retired.

So without further ado let’s see how the staff here did in Week 2.

Joey B (0-2)

I don’t know what I ever did to deserve this but Ronald Jones getting me .9 points on Thursday proved to be foreshadowing. No one ever showed up and I lost by 20. My RBs are garbage and I need helllllp.

Dom (1-1)

For the second week in a row, the Scruffy Looking Nerfherders were the second highest scoring team in the league. Unfortunately, I played the only team that could’ve beaten me this week. Lame. Once again, most of the boys performed well, and I made the excellent pick up of Mark Andrews of Baltimore, who happens to be the league’s top TE through 2 weeks. The big downside to the week was that James Conner was knocked out with a knee injury, but reports are that it’s not serious thankfully.

Lippa (1-1)

Don’t love my team in my league as much as I have in previous years. Probably because I didn’t have a second round pick (traded it for Antonio Brown last year trying to go all-in en route to a first round playoff loss). O.J. Howard looks like a giant bust, and my general lack of elite players will probably cost me this year. Bright side: JOSH ALLEN time next week at QB after a week of streaming Andy Dalton.

Mattes (2-0)
Even though Dede Westbrook and his pathetic 0.8 points (!!!) almost screwed me, Dak, Dalvin, and Kelce were an absolute force for the second-straight week. Kerryon also had a nice day after a worrisome Week 1. (And it’ll only get better for him with C.J. Anderson getting the axe yesterday!) This week I’ll be replacing Westbrook and Singletary with Matt Breida and Scary Terry McLaurin, AND I nabbed Dallas’s D off waivers this week since they’re playing Miami at home. Reeeaallly trying not to get too cocky yet, and I know it’s early. But The Pride of Kansas is 2-0 and sitting third overall in points so far. I’m feeling good.

Papa G (2-0)

Lamar Jackson! What a stud. Another solid performance from my elite QB out of Baltimore. This week was definitely tougher than last week though. Barely squeezed out a win thanks to Le’Veon Bell on MNF. Njoku got concussed almost immediately in the game so it was all on Bell’s shoulders. 2-0 to start the season, just like my Bills. Inevitable collapse(s) pending.

Red (0-2)

I touched on this a bit yesterday in my blog denigrating Jets fans so I won’t rehash too much, but long story short I needed 8 points from Jamison Crowder. He got 6. The football gods mocked me for putting my faith in a Jets player too and had third stringer Luke Falk taking snaps before halftime just to really make me suffer. You don’t know degenerate levels until you find yourself yelling at the TV for a third string QB to throw a garbage time TD in a blowout on Monday night.

Big Z (1-1)

The Z Men will not go undefeated in 2019. We stand at 1-1 after a 120-96 loss in Week 2. At least my team wasn’t the only team that wasted a great effort from Dalvin Cook. Dude had a touchdown and 154 yards on the ground, only to see Kirk Cousins throw an interception that would have been unacceptable even in a pick up game of groomsmen in the parking lot before a wedding reception. Christian McCaffrey was a disappointment in Week 2 with only 53 total yards, but hopefully that’s an aberration.  My kicker Matt Prater might have been this biggest disappointment of my week though. A missed PAT is -2 in my league, so even with the PAT he made later in the game he still ended up in the red for me and cost me a point.

 

 

 

 

The 300s Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 1

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Welcome back. Here we are, already one week through the 2019 NFL season. Which means one week through the 2019 fantasy football season and one full week removed from your life expectancy due to fake, non-existent, nonsensical sports-induced stress.

As is customary here at The 300s, I reached out to my blogging brethren to see what went down for their squads in Week 1, and to give you the reader the opportunity to find pleasure in our pain (Ortriumph178fuckingpointsareyoukiddingmeGiorgio?).


Papa G (1-0)

QB – Lamar Jackson, WR1 – Keenan Allen, WR2 – Julian Edelman, RB1 – Le’Veon Bell, RB2 – James Conner, TE – David Njoku, Flex1 – Brandin Cooks, Flex2 – Austin Ekeler

Lamar Effing Jackson. 47 points. Can’t say I expected that. Ekeler with 38 was a nice surprise too. Feeling kind of confident for a change. I’m sure week 2 will destroy that.

Joey B (0-1)

QB – Baker Mayfield, RB1 – Alvin Kamara, RB2 – Phillip Lindsay, WR1 – Adam Thielen,
WR2 – Mike Williams, TE – George Kittle, K – Stephen Gostkowski, D/ST  – Denver Broncos. Notable Bench – WR – D.J Chark, TE – David Njoku.

I took it off the chin and am already about to call it quits. Phillip Lindsay’s new nickname is “fucking” and the Broncos D apparently sucks. Only solace is I have high waver status and might get John Ross.

Red (0-1)

QB – Cam Newton, WR1 – Davante Adams, WR2 – Cooper Kupp, RB1 – Ezekiel Elliott, RB2 – Devonta Freeman, TE – Austin Hooper, Flex1 – DJ Moore, Flex2 – Kenyan Drake. K – Will Lutz, Def – New Orleans

Just a real disaster of a showing from your boy’s team, led by Cam Newton and his stupid hat. I nearly ordered Grubhub hungover from my couch more times (3) than Cam Newton had points (5) on Sunday. So there was a real failure to launch in Week 1.

Big Z (1-0)

QB – Russell Wilson, WR1 – Mike Evans, WR2 – Brandin Cooks, RB – Dalvin Cook, TE – Eric Ebron. Flex1 – Tyler Lockett, Flex2 – Christian McCaffrey, K – Matt Prater, D – Seattle

With a 119-76 win, the Z Men claimed the biggest blowout in the league this week. Life is good when you’ve got Christian McCaffrey on your team. Hopefully my 2019 keeper has more of an impact than my 2018 keeper did (Le’Veon Bell).

I’m pretty pleased with the performance I got out of the Seattle defense, too. I didn’t even draft a defense as I prefer to go week-to-week at that position, and it worked out well for me in Week 1.

Picking wide receivers and tight ends are like picking Keno numbers for me. Thankfully Eric Ebron’s donut didn’t do me in this week. We’ll see how many more of those I can sit through before his inevitable four touchdown game.

It’s a shame I can only squeeze in two RB’s a week in this league. I still keep a long list of backs on the bench, though. A little bit of insurance and a little bit of roster manipulation. We’ll see how my starting lineup looks in Week 13.

Dom (1-0)

QB- Carson Wentz, WR1 – Keenan Allen, WR2 – TY Hilton, WR3 – Brandin Cooks, RB1 – Zeke Elliott, RB2 James Conner, TE- Hunter Henry, Defense – Rams, K – Robbie Gould

The Scruffy-Looking Nerfherders had a big week. Essentially everyone but Cooks performed well. Wentz went off, and I have Tom Brady and his back up, so he’ll be getting more starts going forward. My RBs weren’t even great and I still scored the 2nd most points. Marlon Mack and Allen Robinson also had solid games on the bench, so I feel like I’m in great shape early on.

Now the other league is a bad QBs and Punters league. I feel like bringing this up just because it’s a hilarious idea. You get rewarded for bad QB (turnovers, incompletions, etc) and lose points for good play. What makes it tough is that although you want a bad QB, you don’t want someone who is going to get benched and force you to keep make waiver claims. This week, I led the league in scoring behind famous Jameis. Here’s to hoping that he keeps the QB spot this year!

Mattes (1-0)

QB – Dak Prescott, RB1 – Dalvin Cook, RB2: Kerryon Johnson, WR1 – Adam Thielen, WR2 – Robert Woods, TE – Travis Kelce, Flex1 – Dede Westbrook, Flex2 – Sterling Shepard, D/ST –  Baltimore

1-0 and the league’s third-highest scorer. What a way to start the season! I was already loving my team heading into the season – for the first time in years – and besides Kerryon, everyone pretty much showed up in the opener. Dak and Dalvin set the world on fire, and even guys like Woods and Kelce produced over 13 apiece without even scoring. I’m switching Westbrook and Shepard out this week for Matt Breida and Devin Singletary, cause, ya, my bench is stacked, too. I’m usually never this confident about my squad, but The Pride of Kansas looks ready to fucking roll this year. LFG.

 

The 300s First-ish Fantasy Football Round Up Of The Year – Booms, Busts, and Sneaky Picks

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Welcome back, to your favorite fantasy blog as well as mine. It has been a wild ride in the NFL since last fantasy season ended and plenty of players changed teams, retired (COME BACK GRONK), and entered the fold.

With draft season already underway, to be honest (we have jobs leave us alone) we’ve picked the brains of the knowledgeable staff here at The 300s to bring you some players that are a sure thing, some to avoid, and a few to take fliers on later in your draft. Lezgetit.

Red

I am all in on James Conner this year because the guy is the real deal and even if he’s a JAG, he is still playing in Pittsburgh, which has produced a top 5 RB in each of the last 5 years with three different guys. BUY!

Avoid Antonio Brown like the plague this year. The guy has done everything but tell his infamously prickly coach to go shit in a hat. Shooting his way out of Pittsburgh, now the absurd helmet debacle, oh and lets not forget the guy wrecked his feet in a cryogenic chamber. Thats before we even get to the fact that Derek Carr is throwing him the ball, a guy that his own coach doesn’t even believe in. Pass.

My sleeper pick for this year is Ryan Fitzpatrick because you know for a fact he will post 3 or 4 straight weeks of 40 point games as the Dolphins get blown out by anyone and everyone. Pump and dump baby.

Dom (Who had one too many of his own craft cocktails to follow directions but gave some fantastic advice all the same)

I see this as the draft of the cuff running back. I’m buying on Ekeler and Jackson from SD, Henderson from StL, and Pollard from Dallas. It sounds like St Louis is wary of an ongoing injury for Gurley with all of their roster moves in the offseason, and if Gordon and Zeke continue to hold out, those other guys are there to fill the gap. So while I’m not necessarily calling anyone a bust or sleeper, that’s who I’m looking at.

Joey B

Red sort of stole my James Conner idea. He killed it for me last year. With him gone I’m going to go with David Njoku. Ya he’s a Tight End but there are only a handful that are going to produce at such significant levels as I think he will. Add that to Baker Mayfield is settled into year two and the former Hurricane is in for a big year.

I’m staying away from the Dallas football Cowboys. The whole team. It just sounds like a fucking disaster over there and God help them if anything happens to their vaunted offensive line.

For a sleeper I’m going with old friend Chris Hogan. Cam’s receivers occasionally have huge games and he never has had a consistent security blanket in the Hogan mold.

Lippa

Boom: Allen Robinson

People forget just how good Allen Robinson is. He put up 80/1400/14 with BLAKE BORTLES as his QB in 2015. The last two years have been rough for him injury wise, but all reports say that he looks healthy and has been a focal point of the Bears offense. If Trubisky and the Bears offense takes the next step, look out for a big time year from A-Raw.

Bust: Joe Mixon

I am not touching anything with the Cincinnati offense. The Bengals might have the worst offensive line in the league and with no A.J. Green to start the season, defenses will key on Mixon and give him little room to run. I’ll pass here at where he is typically getting drafted.

Sleeper: Damien Harris

So this may take a little while to pan out as Harris is not getting a ton of reps at training camp, but the Patriots took Harris in the third round for a reason. We all know Sony Michel has degenerative knee issues, so the smart bet will be that he isn’t going to hold up for 16 games. If the Patriots trade Rex Burkhead like I expect, Harris is going to be a must-own and will pay dividends as we get deeper into the fantasy season.


Mattes

BOOM/BUY: Kerryon Johnson, RB, Detroit Lions

I’m really hitching my wagon to my BOOM guy this year. Not only have I already chosen the second-year back as my keeper this season, but I’ve also already been telling everyone and their brother how good he is at pretty much every opportunity I’ve had this offseason. Some are sleeping on him after he played in just 10 games as a rookie last year. OK. Yet, when he was on the field, he still averaged 5.4 YPC and displayed the talent which helped him become the 2017 SEC Offensive Player of the Year at Auburn. He’s also a PPR monster, and with Theo Riddick now entirely out of the picture, he could easily approach 60-70 catches in 2019. Also, his new offensive coordinator, Darrell Bevell, loves running backs more than his own family and has seen his rushing attacks finish in the top five for each of the past six seasons he’s coached – including two-straight No. 1 finishes. The only thing I could see hurting Kerryon is C.J. Anderson, who could steal a few carries here and there, especially on the goal line. But it won’t be enough to prevent Kerryon from being a top-15 running back this season – if not even higher – especially in PPR formats.

 

BUST/AVOID: Phillip Lindsay, RB, Denver Broncos

Let me start by saying perhaps it’s a bit unfair to label an undrafted free agent who totaled almost 1,300 yards as a rookie as a BUST in any way. Lindsay was awesome last season. There’s no doubt about that. But this is about this season, where things have changed significantly out in the Mile High City. New coach. New quarterback. And above all, there’s much healthier direct competition than there was at any point last year. While Lindsay stole the show last year, he only had the chance to do so because the team’s other rookie running back, Royce Freeman – whom the Broncos actually drafted in the third round after a standout career at Oregon – was slowed by nagging injuries all year. Freeman’s been getting rave reviews all offseason for how good he’s looked, and the team has already said he’s going to get plenty more opportunities to showcase himself this year. Theo Riddick is also now in the picture, too. I’m not saying to avoid Lindsay entirely, and he could still end being a solid low-end RB2. But drafting him as a foolproof, bellcow RB1 this year is a big mistake.

 

SLEEPER/UNDERVALUED: Leonard Fournette, RB, Jacksonville Jaguars

It’s funny how just last season this guy was a locked-and-loaded first-round pick. Now, he has an ADP of 2.11 in half-point PPR leagues, and I’ve even seen some mocks where he’s not going until Round 3. Have people forgotten how good this dude is? He was an absolute animal at LSU, and he had a fantastic rookie season in 2017 before being slowed by injuries and dumb off-field behavior last year. Apparently, though, he’s learned from his past transgressions and is working hard to get back on track. There’s also reports that they’ve got big plans for him in the passing attack, and the team finally has a quarterback who is actually, ya know, GOOD at football. And above all: Fournette literally has ZERO competition. Seriously, I might even be able to crack the depth chart behind him. Fournette is someone whom I could easily see piling up 1,300 yards on the ground with 10-plus TDs and 40-50 catches to boot. I’m expecting a huge bounce-back year from this dude. Big time.

Top Patriots Fantasy Football Players for 2019

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Image result for sony michel

Though the first official 2019 NFL preseason game has already come to pass, we’re still two days away from the first slate of live action for the 30 other teams besides the Broncos and Falcons who have still yet to play. Eleven preseason games are set to take place on Thursday night – one of which being Pats vs. Lions in Detroit – with two more on Friday and three others on Saturday night.

Unless you and your leaguemates are absolute psychopaths, your fantasy draft is still likely a few weeks away. Everyone knows you always wait until, at the very least, after the third week of preseason play has concluded. That’s because most starters usually don’t play in their team’s final preseason game, and there’s nothing worse than losing one of your top guys for the year due to a B.S. injury before the season even starts. Also, there are still a ton of camp battles currently taking place, and most depth charts aren’t even set yet.

(Quick but still entirely related side story: Our very own editor-in-chief Red learned this the hard way a few years back. For some reason, we had to do our draft a little early that year, and it actually took place during the third week of the preseason. Again, this was a few years ago, and Red decided to use his second-round pick on Jordy Nelson, which was a very sound choice at the time. Not even 15 minutes later, probably somewhere in the middle of the fourth round, we all looked up at the bar’s TV screen, only to see Jordy’s knee get absolutely DESTROYED, effectively ending his season – as well as Red’s hopes of fantasy success that year. Of course, we couldn’t restart the draft at that point, and Red was pretty much screwed. So, look, I get it; I’m chomping at the bit to draft my squad already, too. But slow down there, gunpowder. Don’t get “Jordy Nelson-ed.”)

However, it’s never too early to start talking about fantasy football. Never! And that’s why I’m here to provide you with my annual ranking of the top Patriots fantasy players for the upcoming season along with their current ADP, “Mattes-Adjusted ADP,” and other little tidbits to help you win your draft.

(Rankings and predictions are based upon a 12-team, half-point-PPR scoring format. Honestly, if you’re still in a standard league which only counts yards and TDs, get out of the freakin’ Stone Age already! Also, all average draft positions [ADP] are current as of August 6, 2019 and courtesy of FantasyFootballCalculator.com.)

Let’s begin…

Julian Edelman, WR

Image result for julian edelman rams

  • (ADP: Early fourth round / Mattes-Adjusted ADP: Mid-fourth round)

While the recent thumb injury does cause for a bit of concern, it seems as though Jules is still on track to be ready for the start of the regular season. And there’s absolutely ZERO chance he doesn’t serve as Brady’s numero uno target in the passing game once again. Minus an injury-shortened 2015 campaign, Edelman had put up three-straight 90-plus-catch seasons before last year. And he would’ve had a fourth in 2018 if he wasn’t suspended for the first four games. Even still, he finished last season with over 70 catches and 800-plus yards; he was also on pace for 99 catches were he to play in all 16 games. He even hauled in six TDs, too. About as reliable as they come, the only reason I’m giving him a slight bump down from his current ADP is due to my concerns about the team’s offense as a whole this year. But as long as Brady can keep the ship afloat, Jules will be the first mate helping him lead the way. Draft Jules as a WR2 with absolute confidence. He is far and away the safest Patriot on the board in ANY fantasy draft this year.

Sony Michel, RB

Image result for sony michel

  • (ADP: Early fifth / Mattes-Adjusted ADP: Late fifth/early sixth)

Sony might be one of the most difficult fantasy players to peg this year. There’s no doubt that he lived up to his first-round NFL draft stock as a rookie last season with a 931-yard, six-TD campaign. And if he played a full season (only played in 13 games), he was on pace for 1,146 rushing yards; that would have been good for sixth in the league. But there are multiple red flags surrounding his fantasy prospects this year. First, there’s his extensive injury history. His degenerative knee condition is only going to get worse over time and will never go away. To be fair, a few of the games he missed last year were due to a freak injury he suffered in Week 7 against the Bears – which truly looked much worse initially – and were it not for that he probably would’ve only missed one or two contests. Still, the concerns are always there. Secondly, he’s a one-dimensional back who does not provide much in the way of receptions, severely hurting his PPR value. (Even though he’s reportedly looked great as a receiver in camp so far, I’m sorry, he’s not suddenly going to become the next Alvin Kamara.) Thirdly, there’s also still James White and rookie Damien Harris to worry about. White is the team’s main pass-catching option at the position, and Harris is a back who excels in all facets of the game. In fact, some people believe Harris could steal the job outright from Michel this year if he’s not careful. (More on that in a bit.) But for me, I still think Sony is an absolute grinder who showed a lot of toughness last year. The team still believes in him and he’ll still get plenty of burn this season, especially on the goal line. His TD upside alone is enough to keep me believing in him as a top-25 back in 2019. I guess I’m OK with him as my RB2, but if you aim to grab him as an RB3 instead, I think you’ll be just fine.

James White, RB

Image result for james white

  • (ADP: Mid-fifth / Mattes-Adjusted ADP: Late eighth/early ninth)

Here’s where we see my first big ADP discrepancy, but it’s not meant as any disrespect to my boy Big Game James. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a huge fan of his, and White did actually lead the team in total targets, receptions, and receiving TDs in 2018. But that just ain’t happening again. The team’s receiving corps might have been even worse off at times last season than it is right now, especially early on when Jules was out and Gronk was a shell of his former self. Until late last season, Brady relied on White to be the keystone of the offense, but the tide started to turn in the second half. Through the first eight weeks, White was targeted an average of nine times per game; over the final eight, that number dropped to six. The team also went out and acquired more weapons in the passing game this offseason – including the aforementioned Harris, who could really cut into White’s share of the load even more in 2019. Also, White isn’t getting another 94 carries, which was 59 (!!!) more than his typical career average. I could see another 50-plus-catch season for White, which is something he’s done multiple times before. But I promise you that he will not come close to sniffing the numbers he put up last year. You can take that to the bank. Look at White as no more than a RB4/5. DO NOT draft him anywhere near the fifth round this year. Just don’t.

Damien Harris, RB

Image result for damien harris patriots

  • (ADP: Early ninth / Mattes-Adjusted ADP: Mid-to-late ninth)

I’ve mentioned him a few times so far in this piece, but the truth is nobody has an effing clue how this kid will be used this season. For those who don’t know who he is yet, Damien Harris is one of the team’s third-round draft picks this year who served as one of Nick Saban’s lead horses down at Alabama for the past few years. Not only is he said to be a real stand-up type of dude, but unlike Michel and White, Harris is someone who is as equally adept at toting the rock as he is at catching it. In fact, many believe he has the ability to become the Pats’ No. 1 back by the end of the season. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but unless Michel’s knees completely explode, he’s too talented to cede his role entirely to Harris. Especially with the team’s continually expanding reliance and focus upon the running game, both players will still get their fair share in 2019, but Michel is still the back to own. With other running backs like Jerick McKinnon, Peyton Barber, and Carlos Hyde (*YAWN*) going around the same draft slot as Harris, though, why not take a chance on the rookie here? I wouldn’t necessarily advise against it.

N’Keal Harry, WR 

Image result for n'keal harry patriots

  • (ADP: Late ninth / Mattes-Adjusted ADP: 11th round or later)

Another rookie who nobody has had a chance to even see play yet, Harry has not had as great of a camp as I expected. One of the more complete receivers to come out of the draft in years, there’s a reason Belichick made him the first-ever wide receiver he chose to take in the first round. However, Harry’s struggled with drops so far this summer, and while he hasn’t been horrible, according to reports he is being outplayed significantly by fellow rookie Jakobi Meyers as well as free-agent pickup Maurice Harris. I think that Harry has a chance to be a beast as soon as he puts it all together; especially given his elite size (6’4″, 225 pounds), he could be a key fantasy bench piece just based on his potential to be used in the red zone. But until I hear more encouraging reports on his progress, I’d rather snag guys like DeSean Jackson, Emmanuel Sanders, Keke Coutee, and Donte Moncrief, all of whom are being selected after Harry in drafts so far. But, if he does reach his potential in Year One, he could end up being one of the steals of the draft. It’s honestly just too early to tell, and he is currently the epitome of a high-risk/high-reward player.

Tom Brady, QB

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  • (ADP: Mid-11th / Mattes-Adjusted ADP: Undrafted)

Novice fantasy players might be shocked to see the G.O.A.T. so far down most draft boards – and it may be especially jarring to see that I personally wouldn’t even take him at all! However, while he is unquestionably the greatest quarterback to ever play in terms of real-life football, the same cannot be said for fantasy. There are a solid 20 or so QBs who I guarantee you will score more points than Brady this season – particularly those who will also get you points on the ground – and there’s typically only 12 who start each week. I honestly believe Brady is being drafted on nothing more than name alone, which is vastly skewing his ADP. While TB12 will have his top-12 weeks this season, you’re probably better off snagging an extra RB or WR at this point in the draft to build depth. Then you can simply stream QBs each week until one hits. Nobody loves you more than me, Tom, but you’re not going to be on any of my fantasy rosters this season.

Josh Gordon, WR

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  • (ADP: Early 14th / Mattes-Adjusted ADP: 12th round or later)

Choosing to draft Flash right now is a complete roll of the dice; I’m not gonna lie. Though he did officially apply for reinstatement with the league this past weekend, there has been less than zero indication as to when he could possibly be allowed to return to action. But after his performance in just 11 games with the Pats last year – 40 catches / 720 yards / 3 TDs – there should be no doubt that he’s still got it in him. He’s also reportedly worked out with Brady this offseason to stay fresh, so the two could start clicking again right away if and when he returns (which I think he will). If you’re comfortable with your bench and are simply taking stabs late in the draft, go for the gold with Gordon. He could truly be a league-winner.

There are other guys – like the aforementioned Meyers and Harris, and maybe even Ben Watson when he returns – who could be sneaky options at certain points this year. (And maybe, juuuussst maybe, my guy Dontrelle Inman could still come through, too. 🤞🏻) But to be entirely honest, this is likely the only list of Patriots players you should be concerned about heading into your fantasy season. Again, there’s still a lot to be fleshed out before the really meaningful action begins, but hopefully this little primer helped to whet your appetite and start to prepare you for what lies ahead.

We’re almost there, everyone! And best of luck to all in this fantasy season.

The 300s 2018 Fantasy Football All Cock Tease Team

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Welcome, welcome to our awards. Before we begin I’m going to briefly kick it to our team on tonight’s red carpet…

Thank Joey! Here we see Founder Red wearing a Lakers jersey with camo cargo shorts. I’m really digging his ironic choice that is clearly a protest to our recent cooperation with North Korea. Back to the studio…

Thanks guys! Now before we proceed I should probably explain what these awards actually are about since nobody fucking knows.

We have all picked a bust or 12 throughout our fantasy football seasons, however most are of either the “reach” or “hard on” variety. A “reach”, as is well known, is a player you pick a bit too high, possibly motivated by the fear of someone else picking him. A “hard on” pick, for lack of a more enlightened term, would refer to players that we just personally really like without a ton evidence as to why and that simply don’t work out.

These awards, however, celebrate the “cock teases” – players who are picked at a good time given their value, normally put up good numbers relative to that selection point, yet completely fuck us. They don’t buy us dinner first either, just bend us over the analogous  10, 12, or 16 team table and fuck us.

So without further ado, as composed by and contributed to by our talented staff, I give you The 300s 2018 All Cock Tease Team:

QB: Jimmy Garoppolo, San Francisco 49ers
Red: I was ready for Jimmy G to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes that was my 2017 fantasy season, but in his third game the most handsome ACL in the league exploded and I was stuck with Matt Stafford at QB the rest of the way.

 

RB1: Jordan Howard, Chicago Bears
Mattes: Now, a lot of people might give me crap for drafting Howard in the second round of a PPR draft. First, I’d like to respond by saying it’s only a half-point league, and, second, the guy also had two-straight 1,200-plus-yard seasons and nine touchdowns last year on a bad team. I – like many – expected the Bears to be much-improved this year (which they certainly are), and I also believed new head coach Matt Nagy when he said he’d finally get Howard more involved in the passing game. Then came along Tarik Cohen, and there were also five games this year in which Howard averaged under 2.6 yards a carry. In fact, Cohen actually ended up finishing over FOURTY spots ahead of Howard in the overall rankings this year. Picked the wrong guy, I guess, huh?

 


RB2: Le’veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers
GUEST CONTRIBUTION! Patty Blackouts: I mean what is there to say besides he’s a seflish fuck who passed up 850k a week to sit out and try and protect his body to try and get a long term deal. Took him 4th overall thinking he’d show up sometime around end of September or October and nope just sat out all season sending cryptic tweets so you’d think he was going to report and next ya know he’s playing pickup basketball games at the local Y. I hope no one pays him what he wants and he regrets passing up the 14.5 mill he would have been paid this season by signing the franchise tag. But yes I’m bitter because  I used my first overall pick on him in fantasy got the same amount of points out of him as he did paychecks this season….0!

I hope he gets hurt in the next preseason.

Douchebag.

WR1: Quincy Enunwa, Goddam Jets
Red: No one, and I mean no one in my fantasy league watches more Jets games than me as the Mrs. is a huge fan. So watching a team that bad I was determined to derive some value out of it, which is exactly what Quincy Enunwa was going to do for me. Enunwa was going to be the steal of the draft as he put up 15, 12 and 10 points in 3 of the first 4 games, but then his season was derailed by various injuries. He cracked 6 points just once after September…

 

WR2: Golden Tate, Detroit Lions/Philadelphia Eagles
Joey B: Tate started the season as Matthew Stafford’s #1 option in what is normally a high flying Detroit offense. To that end, he kicked off the season with games of  17, 15, 10 and TWENTY FUCKING NINE. After that he completely shit the bed, probably became an asshole in the locker room because he realized his name is fucking Golden, and then got traded to Philly where he had one game of 20, coincidentally the only other time he’s seen the end zone since September, and seemingly is hated by all 12 of Philly’s playoff-ready QBs.

 

TE: Gronk
Joey B: I always pick Gronk wayyyy too high because he plays a position where all of 4-5 guys give you tremendous amounts of points and even among those guys he usually stands out. But this year, as the world knows, was different. He’s just broken and I’m just sad.

 

Flex1: Jarvis Landry, Cleveland Browns
Mattes: Landry wasn’t without a few big games of his own this year. Also like Cousins, Landry was a guy whom I expected to make a huge splash with a new team this season, but instead was super inconsistent. Yes, he had to deal with learning how to play with two different QBs this year, but remember that Baker Mayfield has been playing since Week 3. In the 13 games he’s played with Mayfield, Landry has put up single-digit totals in seven of them. For a guy who averaged 99 catches per season before this year, his mark of 72 through 16 games this year is incredibly disappointing.

 

Flex2: Chris Hogan, New England Patriots
Big Z: With Brandin Cooks in LA and Julian Edelman sidelined for the first four games of the season, I was certain Chris Hogan was a steal in the fifth round. He would be one of Tom Brady’s top targets the first month of the season, and hopefully stay in the mix even after Edelman returned.

Hogan scored two touchdowns in Week 2, but he wouldn’t find the end zone again for three months. By that time I had already dropped him and moved on. Just another cautionary tale of putting too much stock in to a Patriots WR/RB for fantasy football purposes.

 

D/ST: San Diego Los Angeles Chargers
Joey B: With Joey Bosa and company up front and some decent pieces in the secondary, I thought the “pressure creates turnovers” rule would get me some points on D. Instead Bosa got hurt and the Chargers are last in return yards allowed.

 

Kicker: Dan Bailey, Minnesota Vikings
Big Z: Drafting and picking up kickers in fantasy football is a bit of a crap shoot. You just try to pick up a guy who kicks for a team with a good, but not great, offense. If he plays in warm weather or a dome, even better. That’s why I love NFC South kickers and why I will never draft the Bills kicker.

Dan Bailey had a rough 2017 and got released by Dallas. But he was at one time the most accurate kicker in NFL history. When he got picked up by Minnesota, I thought he would be a good guy to take a flier on. Accurate kicker on a good, not great, team that plays its home games in a dome.

Bailey is 20/27 on field goals for the Vikes this year and his 2018 may be worse than his 2017. Yikes. God help the Vikings special teams coach

 

*BONUS: Mid-Season Pick Up Fist Fucker of the Year*

WR: Marquez Valdes-Scantling, Green Bay Packers

Red: MVS was one of the few guys I was first to the punch on in my league and he looked like a STUD. 6’4″ with 4.3 speed and Aaron Rodgers throwing him the ball? Yes please. After a quiet start to the season MVS blew onto the scene with a 4 week stretch of 13+ points. He would post 6+ points just once the rest of the way…

 

 

 

The 300s Bloggers’ “HAHA EAT IT MANISH MEHTA” Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 12

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Image result for gronk touchdown week 12

The thing about New York sports fans is that they REALLY show up for their own. They think their players, coaches, and, for whatever reason, sports media personalities are Gods amongst men. Like there is a CONVENTION for Mike Francesa fans. To repeat, a sports radio show host has his own convention. It is kind of bizarre and really not relatable for those of us outside of the tri-state area.

Which is why it really says something that even New Yorkers hate Manish Mehta. He is a troll through and through that is not as much of a troll sports writer as he is a troll writer who decided to apply his trolliness to sports. Gross.

And he recently came for Gronk. Said he was washed and done and sad and depressed. Well, unfortunately for M-Squared Gronk came back Sunday and the Pats beat the Jets. There was a Gronk-spike and all.

Gronks have 87 lives, motherfucker.

Red

This is it. It took 12 weeks, but I am breaking up with Matt Stafford. After burying any chance I had before the turkey was even on the table with 7 points on Thursday, I am breaking it off. This is likely the last shot I had at the playoffs as even an average performance from Stafford gives me the win. I may just start an empty QB slot moving forward in a silent protest.

 

Joey B

I’m officially out of it so this shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter that I lost a BARN BURNER with a final score of 60-51 (nope, no one forgot to set their line-ups). But I forgot to put in Gronk. Those points would have given me the win. Forgive me big man.

 

Papa G

It’s curtains for my fantasy teams. Shout out to Fournette getting suspended too. Appreciate the self-control. We’ve officially moved into “who should I pick for my keepers” mode. TRASH.

 

Mattes

I’d like to start off this week by apologizing to one Amari Cooper. Since becoming a Cowboy, the man has averaged 17 points a game, which included a bananas 38-point showing on Turkey Day. That performance helped me beat Papa Giorgio this week, finally giving my suddenly resurgent team more than one measly win on the year and potentially playing spoiler for my fellow blogger’s season. I have changed my team name to “Amari’s Resurrection” in his honor. Maybe Oakland really does just suck THAT bad.

A couple “coulda, woulda, shouldas” sank my other team this week. I went for the upside with Lamar Jackson as my QB2 behind Rivers, but the extra 10 from Cousins, who was on my bench, would’ve given me the win. Or maybe playing Aaron Jones over Mark Ingram this week would’ve done it, too. I now need to win this week and have two other teams lose to get into the postseason. I’m literally hanging on by the short and curlies right now.

 

Big Z

With another big win in Week 12, the Z-Men have won 5 of their last 6. Fantasy football isn’t that hard when you get steady quarterback play, contributions from a few wide receivers, and 43 points out of Christian McCaffrey.

A win in Week 13 will lock up a first round bye and a guaranteed crack at some prize money. LET’S GO!

-Joey B
Blogger | Crier | British Television Obsessive| Whiskey Dickist

The 300s Bloggers’ Lois Einhorn Edition Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 10

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Farewell, sweet prince.

Just like that our favorite underdog has been jettisoned from the ranks of professional football. Needless to say, Nathan Peterman had possibly the worst series of spot starts in the history of the game, if not in the history of sports. Poor guy just could not get out of his own way. He’d flash some semblance of ability one play and then on the next one hit a DB in the chest for a pick 6. Fucking brutal to watch.

So with his run in Buffalo finally over, I see a full-scale Lois Einhorn situation developing here. Peterman will masquerade as some sort of female public figure in a long-con scheme aimed at extracting revenge against the world that so openly mocked and derided him. It’s coming people.

So how’d we all do this?

Red

We had a goddamn barn burner this week. Down 37 points heading into Monday Night Football I completely checked out and went to play some beer league softball like all athletes past their prime do. Matt Breida had the game of his life with two TDs and 26 pts and Sterling Shepherd chipped in with 10 of his own. So I was down by less than 5 with a minute to go with the 49ers driving. All I needed was Breida breaking a screen for a big gain or maybe punching it in from the 1! So. Much. Hype. Andddd Breida wasn’t even on the field for the final drive.


Mattes

You know when things get so bad it’s almost comical? Check this shit out.

My 1-8 team was taking on the team that is *now* in first place. After a pretty solid, 130-plus-point performance across the board, I was up comfortably heading into Sunday night with two guys left to play – Amari Cooper for me and Zach Ertz for him. Ertz then goes off for the greatest game of his life – in a game his team still loses, mind you – and I lose by 0.78. ZERO-POINT-SEVEN-FUCKING-EIGHT. Sure, my season’s already over, but it would’ve been cool to see my abortion of a team take down one of the best in the league. But again, it’s just not my year.

AND THEN – in the league that actually matters – I got unreal performances from DJ and Aaron Jones (I told you guys to grab him two weeks ago!), but the Buffalo Bills decided to somehow actually be good at football this week, and the Jets defense got me -7. NEGATIVE SEVEN. It all came down to Monday night: I was leading by 13, and all he had left was San Fran’s kicker. And guess how many points San Fran’s kicker got? Did you say 13??!! GOOD FOR YOU! I TIED and am now hanging on by a pube to a chance at the playoffs. (OH, and that last field goal Gould had was EXACTLY 30 yards; were it just one yard shorter, I would’ve won.)

I don’t know what I did to piss off the fantasy gods this year, but COME ON, MAN.

Joey B

I won a Goddam UGLY one but I won all the same. Another two excellent performances from James Conner and Michael Thomas allowed me to squeak by equally anemic opponent 91-84, and no, we didn’t forget to sit someone on a bye, etc.

Papa G

Lost in 2 out of 3 leagues this week. It’s getting down to the wire as i’m a borderline playoff team in all my leagues now. Fournette returning has seriously helped though and my bench is becoming useful again, not just a sea of RBs on IR. I’m going to need Aaron Rodgers to step it up though as i’m not getting the production I would have liked from him. I guess we’ll see how this plays out.

Side note: fuck the Jets. Bills Mafia for life.

Big Z

The Z-Men made it four wins in a row in Week 10 with a one-point victory, and led the league in points for the third straight week. You never want to lose with the second-highest points total for the week. That’s when furniture gets broken.

Christian McCaffrey led the way for my squad again this week with 31 points, but Eric Ebron was my MVP. He was game-time decision Sunday. I left him in and he rewarded me with three touchdowns. George Kittle was my closer, and his 83 yards Monday night was just enough to get me the one-point win.

Not a bad turnaround! Just hoping not to peak too soon. Again.

 

The 300s Bloggers’ Nick Mullens is Elite Fantasy Football Round Up – Week 9

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Yey, my children, behold the Week 9 fantasy football blog. The NFL itself was actually a bit of a dumpster fire this week with quite a few just plain bad games. On the other hand, was Nick fucking Mullens. The complete unknown practice squadder who jogged out there for San Francisco and was just about perfect. The best QB from Southern Miss not named Brett Favre. Only highlighting Mullens success was his counterpart on the Raiders, Derek Carr, simply forgetting how to QB and Carr’s coach Jon Gruden searching Indeed for new jobs on the sidelines. Sports, amirite?!

Anyway, how’d we do?

Papa G

Blogger’s Note: Papa Giorgio did not submit a fantasy blog this week. He is however a Mets fan and their newly introduced General Manager is indeed the slimiest seeming person since Lester Diamond so maybe he’s just in a gutter somewhere. Ts and Ps son.


Red

You wanna know why The League was such a completely unrealistic show? It’s not because of all the crazy antics they get into with NFL celebrity guest appearances sprinkled in. No it’s because I’m supposed to believe a group of grown men in their 30s are endlessly devoted to a game that is almost entirely dependent on random acts of god. On Sunday, I was greeted to a glorious “Look what I found” TD that I was so jazzed up about I tweeted it…which sealed my fate with the fantasy gods. 

I later came to find out that the refs changed their mind and just awarded the TD to someone else, thus stealing 6 points out of my front pocket. Can’t win like that guys. 

I now reside firmly in 10th place.

Joey B

3-6. No bueno. Probably out of the running at this point as it is a ten point league. The worst part in this was a 15 point loss to the number one team in the league, which is pretty fucking close. Basically all I needed was Matthew Stafford to do literally anything at all (I think he got me 5 or 6 points) and I would have got the dub. Wasted games from Connor and Howard. Just disappointing.

 

Mattes

I’ve hit an all-time low this week: I lost to a guy who started two inactives and is last in the league in points. I’m 1-8 and ashamed to even look myself in the mirror right now. No need to talk about this abomination any longer. It simply hurts too much.

After getting a combined 120 points from Michael Thomas and the Fitzmagic/O.J. Howard stack in my 2-QB, full-point PPR league, I still lost because Kirk Cousins and Tarik Cohen forgot how to play football this week. If I had just started Philip Rivers as my other QB, I would’ve been fine. I just pulled a Big Z this week and left points on the bench. Happens to the best of us, but I’m still right in the thick of it.

 

Big Z

Things are coming together nicely for the Z-Men. With 144 points in Week 9, I led the league in scoring for the second straight week and won for the third straight week.

I’m still in the running for the Horse’s Ass Trophy, too! In addition to 25 points from James Conner and 26 points from Christian McCaffrey, Tevin Coleman scored 26 on my bench and James White scored 22 on my bench. The curse of being deep at the RB position in a league that only lets you play two per week.