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Joey Ballgame

I'd like to take this chance to apologize to absolutely nobody.

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Primarily MMA and pop culture takes from down in the rabbit hole. Sports straight out of left field.

The Patriots Need a Plan at Offensive Coordinator

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As Mattes blogged yesterday, Josh McDaniels will be staying with the Patriots for the 2019 season. To use McDaniels’ own words, “the book is closed” on interviewing this year. Who knows why; whether or not he decided to just stay another year or whether one of the jobs he coveted, such as the opening with Cleveland and Baker Mayfield, was looking like it would go someone else like Freddie kitchens and McDaniels didn’t want to be seen as a losing horse. Backing out in that situation is never a bad move.

Either way, the Patriots can’t continue to play this year by year. It just doesn’t make sense to not have a plan for when McDaniels does inevitably leave. And unlike 99.9% of the the big questions regarding the Patriots future, this one falls in the “regardless of Tom Brady” category. Brady or no Brady, when McDaniels steps away the Pats need a plan.

The obvious first question to ponder is whether or not this is one of those things that Belichick already has schemed up in his head but has never disclosed, as shocking as that is. It’s not like anyone has really ever asked him, to my knowledge, if he has a plan past Josh McDaniels’ tenure at the healm of the offense. Maybe there’s someone in the college ranks Belichick likes. Maybe there’s a coach in the NFL, possibly a football lifer in a lower coordinator or some sort of “special assistant” position, that he’s given the wink and the nudge to for when McDaniels leaves. There’s a distinct possibility that someone on the Pats current staff has been tabbed as the heir apparent. The latter makes possibly the most sense as the Patriots are known to promote from within (HR APPROVED!). Come to think of it, it wouldn’t shock me if Steve Belichick himself was vying for the job. I mean it does seem like the three things that guy loves is lacrosse, getting stoned in the Gillette parking lot, and football; football being something that has climbed to the top of that list as time has gone by.

On the other side of all these questions is McDaniels himself and his decision to stay. You kind of have to wonder why, right? Why two years in a row does it seem like he has his choice of jobs but decides to stay in a Coordinator position? Maybe the most logical reason would be that the Patriots have secretly told him that he was next in line for Belichick’s job. The “if and when” of Belichick’s retirement has more rumors attached to it than possibly any other storyline in football, and the team has come out before I believe and said McDaniel’s isn’t necessarily tabbed to be their next head coach, but that very well could be all smoke and mirrors.

Then there’s the fact that McDaniels has been here since 2012 and before that from 2001-2008. He has a family and so maybe he just wants to stay rooted. I mean, if we assume his kids are about a decade away from college then there’s no reason for him to not wait until his early 50s to be a head coach again, rather than uproot them now. He’d still be fairly young for that role being not yet 43 now. Lastly, and something Red and I discussed as a possibility, is the fact that maybe Josh McDaniels is simply shell shocked from his last time being a head coach. While his stint in Denver was not a without positives, it was far from a swimming success as well. Maybe he just chooses to stay at a job he is wildly successful in at an organization where he knows all the pieces and the operation cold. O and his QB is Tom Brady. There’s that.

Regardless, I hope both McDaniels and the Patriots have a plan for the future as right now we only have a plan for 2019. And, let’s face it, there’s about eight months until the beginning of next season, so that plan could change. The bottom line is that the “next era” of the Patriots, which we all are too afraid to talk about, is not just when this team moves on from Brady or Belichick. It would also be launched in part when we have to replace McDaniels and the rejuvenation he has brought to Brady’s career and the offense as a whole.

-Joey B

P.S: Anyone get that “close the book” is a reference to the Mafia and how they add names to the list of “made men”? McDaniels is such a weirdo.

Counterpoint: Nick Saban is a Fraud

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ESPN.com – SANTA CLARA, Calif. — With stunning ease — and a freshman quarterback — Clemson toppled college football’s greatest dynasty again to become the first perfect playoff champion. Trevor Lawrence passed for 347 yards and three touchdowns and the second-ranked Tigers beat No. 1 Alabama 44-16 on Monday night in the College Football Playoff national championship game.

So I am actually going to lay out an argument here, and I implore you to stick with me.

Basically, I don’t think that just because you cannot successfully coach in the NFL, it does not mean you are a bad coach. However, I think if you are a complete and abject fucking failure in the NFL, it may be a red flag and something to keep an eye on. An analogy, for reference, is if you were to look at someone in the corporate world’s resume and after a steady climb they plateaued awhile back. They still achieve highly and work on important stuff in their current role, but never got to the next level. Why?

In the case of Nick Saban, there are no two ways about it, he was terrible as the coach of Miami. Not unlike that catchers mitt Pete Carroll with the Patriots, he could not understand the more subtle nuances of being a coach in the pros and it doomed the Dolphins while he was there. So he took his hair plugs back to the college ranks and Alabama, where he has run train on college football for the past decade or so.

So my argument is invalid right? If he’s had this much success in college he has to be a very high-level coach right? Wrong.

You see, during his time in college, Nick Saban, with his $5,000.00 suits and perfect diction has been an excellent recruiter. He woos people. He’s a good salesman. During his run of convincing half of the 5-star recruits in the country to come play for him at Alabama, he has had a pretty easy go of trampling his opponents in college football that simply fielded an inferior group of players, no offense to them. I mean, it’s basic probability when you break it down. Goliath beats David 9/10 times.

Unfortunately, Saban’s brute force luck has run out and now he has to contend with Dabo Swinney and a just-as-talented Clemson program. And what happens? They get run out of the fucking building. The team that is asked once a season if they could beat the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE’S BEST TEAM get’s seven shades of shit beaten out of them. Because as good of a recruiter as Saban is, he has proven to just not be that good of a coach. A poor executor who can’t make in-game adjustments. Because well, if you can adjust in game you don’t generally fail to score in the second half while your opponent drops 13 to go along with the 31 they dropped in the first half. You just don’t.

So there it is. You can trust Nick Saban to sell you a race car, just don’t ask him to race it for you. You can go through him to make it to the pros, just don’t always expect a National Championship. It might not happen. Not anymore.

Taking a Look at the 2018 NFL All-Pro Teams

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From NFL.com

FIRST TEAM

OFFENSE

DEFENSE

SPECIAL TEAMS

SECOND TEAM

OFFENSE

DEFENSE

SPECIAL TEAMS

_______________________________________________________________________________

-The first thing I want to point out is apparently there is now a “flex” position in All-Pro teams which is LAUGH OUT LOUD funny. Fantasy Football just owning real estate in the NFL’s head. I actually giggled a bit, especially when you consider the fact that Tyreek Hill is for sure a WR and Christian McCaffrey is most definitely a RB

-A paltry 2 New England Patriots made this list. Stephon Gilmore made the first team while Cordarrelle Patterson made the second as a KR (aka 2nd Flex) (kidding). I’m not sure what our record is in our years of greatness but I highly doubt it’s actually much more than two so maybe it isn’t that big of a deal. I think Shaq Mason got stiffed a bit but the Patriots OL brand is to be shitty, so I think he might of got the shaft due to reputation which sucks but happens.*

-At my a count, truly PREPOSTEROUS SIX rookies made All-Pro status. What a stacked fucking draft class. Remember when everyone ripped the Colts for taking Quenton Nelson at 6? Who is laughing now? But wait, want to really get nuts? An additional FIVE All Pros are from the 17′ class are on here. 11 All-Pros from the last two drafts. Sheesh.

-In regards to the above, Leighton Vander Esch also deserves a shout out. For most people he was “fucking who?” when he got selected and only collected 140 tackles on the year. Never found the QB but that is probably because he was too busy terrorizing the second level.

-Both Kelce brothers made First Team so that family is talentless.

-Cleveland Guard Joel Bitonio, long considered one of the good guys in the league, a worker through and through who sticks by his perennially shitty team a la his former linemate, Joe Thomas, made his first All-Pro team so kudos there.

-I had no idea JJ Watt had such a monster year. It makes me want to revisit my comment on the Pats and demand Trent Brown make this list off his game against Watt alone.*

-Also props to Julio Jones on finding this list a lot quicker than he found the end zone.

If Josh McDaniels Goes to Cleveland Am I a Browns Fan Now?

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ProFootballTalk – As hyperbolic adverbs go, this one is right up there with “strenuously object.”

Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels is “enthusiastically interested” in the Browns’ vacant head coaching job, according to Steve Doerschuk of the Canton Repository.

Josh McDaniels has patrolled the Pats sideline representing the offensive side of the ball for a combined ten seasons now and, minus his two season stint in Denver, has been a part of Patriot Nation since ’01. Let that sink in for a second. Josh McDaniels has played some part of all five Super Bowls. He may not be as much of a part of the soup that has made this Dynasty so great as say, Belichick and Brady, but he has been a necessary ingredient and since 2012 has brought the Patriots offense back to life, giving Tom Brady the second act he desperately craved and deserves. Maybe our fandom shouldn’t be required to travel with him wherever he goes next, but he deserves a tip of our cap and a nod should we bump into him between September and February.

With all of that said, we have a dilemma on our hands should he go to Cleveland partner with my best friend Baker Mayfield. If McDaniels landing spot is alongside the fire breathing Prince That was Promised, I may have to hand in my Patriots Loyalty Card. On one hand you have the coach, who I’ve spent enough time on today. On the other, you have a quarterback who not only led the Browns to their best season since 2011, but has enough electricity in his undersized (haaaaaaahahaha) body to power an entire city. And then tell said city to go fuck itself when it besmirches him. Baker Mayfield is a competitive lunatic and I love every second of it.

So what do I do here? What do I do if Josh McDaniels goes to the Browns? Do we just set up a Pats Nation Central shop in Cleveland? Do I become one of those asshats who says they have “two teams” and probably plays with My Little Pony dolls? Will Red hold a press conference where I will be sitting at a table and have two hats in front of me, one Browns and one Patriots, where I’ll announce where my allegiance now lays? I just don’t know. But here’s hoping we find out.

-Joey B

P.S – I’m obviously a Pats fan for life fuckheads. But Baker/McDaniels would be must watch T.V.

Bar Rafaeli Possibly Being Indicted?

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Yahoo – Israel’s most famous model Bar Refaeli is suspected of tax evasion and will be called into a hearing ahead of her possible indictment, authorities said Thursday.

Wesley Snipes. The guy from “Girls Gone Wild”. And now Bar Refaeli. A Sports Illustrated starlet and one of Leo’s most famous exes. Famous folks going to the clink for tax evasion is as American (Israeli) as peanut butter and jelly (whatever is popular in Israel). What is indeed shocking here, however, is the amount. And timing.

Bar Refaeli owes the Israeli government the American equivalent of $6.1 million. Hollllly moly. That’s a lot of shekels, which is apparently what Israeli currency is actually called. That is a fuckton in back taxes and an amount I can only imagine was the fault of a business manager and not like, Bar herself getting a few million dollar checks she forgot about. Although models make so much Goddam money that her getting a big piece of paper and just framing it and forgetting about it Ricky Henderson-style would not at all shock me.

The timing is also a little ridiculous. I feel like the statute of limitations on back taxes should be like, a couple years tops. It’s just such an innocuous crime and really the government’s fault. Like if a teacher doesn’t ever check homework who’s fuckin fault is that? Bar Refaeli’s indiscretions in this case date back as far as almost a decade ago. GTFOH Israel. You snooze you lose. You want those Swimsuit Edition taxes maybe lay off the West Bank ten minutes and pay attention to the East General Ledger.

So pretty soon Bar Refaeli may go from the world’s hottest deserter to the world’s hottest prisoner. Hotter even than the “hot mugshot guy” who then divorced his ride or die for some heiress flunky. Maybe her and Leo will even get back together and have what will go down as the hottest conjugal visits in History.

One can only hope.

-Joey B

Joey B’s Wednesday Morning Grab Bag

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This is sort of kind of the “Monday” of this week since a lot of people had Monday off and unless you work for commies, yesterday off was a given.

That said let’s grab bag it up a bit ya?

-In case you missed it, Amanda Nunes defied odds, physics, and whatever lab that went into creating Cris Cyroid’s bloodstream when she not only knocked out, but ran over the long-time Women’s Featherweight #1/UFC Champion. It was an absolute beat-down that no one saw coming. I love Amanda Nunes and was afraid to even watch. Tsk tsk to me.

-Jon Jones won as well. I personally am over the DC-Jones rivalry so I hope Jones fights a few contenders at 205 and DC fights Stipe and then Brock and calls it a career. There is just nothing to learn from a third match up between the longtime rivals.

-I know beating the Jets isn’t exactly a giant deal, but lest the rest of the NFL not understand that really what happened was the Jets continued to let the Pats get hot. Brady looked better than he has in weeks. Our backs got going. We were winning in the trenches on both sides of the ball and on the D side, getting great pressure. Stephon Gilmore looks unbeatable at this point. I’m not saying the Pats are going to get far, but they are heading into the playoffs on a roll and fairly healthy, with two weeks to heal up on top of that.

-I haven’t watched “Bird Box” or the “Black Mirror” movie and I don’t intend to. I know it seems like typical Joey B cynicism, but really I just don’t enjoy the “mind bending” stuff all that much. Just tell me a good story. Plus, I heard “Bird Box” is just a rip off of “A Quiet Place” plus a couple more recent thriller/horror movies.

-July 4, 2019 has been announced the release date for S3 of “Stranger Things”. As much as I am a gigantic fan of that show I wish they’d either release it more consistently or end it. It is just getting more annoying than anything else to have these long delays.

-Current ‘flix recommendations: “Frontier”, “Bodyguard”, “The Five”, “Redemption”. Currently watching “Bad Blood” and jury is out. Slow but ok mob story about real gangsters in Montreal.

-I’m going to start a weekly/bi-weekly blog on solid twitter account follows from the knowledgeable to the bizarre (mostly bizarre). Feel free to hit me @300sJoeyB with suggestions.

ESPN Made A Docuseries About LeBron and His 3 Buddies “Improbable” Rise

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This is ESPN finally, publicly, rolling over and letting LeBron James scratch its belly. This is the ‘worldwide leader in sports” deciding to come out and say “yes, we work for this guy”. Because make no mistake about it this is the most LUDICROUS thing I have ever seen in my entire life, hands down.

First of all, what is so fucking improbable about a guy with freak genetics (he’s 6’8″ folks) being a superstar basketball player? Really not a whole lot. Especially considering he also, ya know, likes basketball. Second of all, what did his buddies actually do?

What fucking pray tell do they contribute beyond being LeBron’s cronies? His “Day 1s” if you will. I’m not sure and maybe it’s a bit unfair for me to just assume they don’t do much, but the odds are ASTRONOMICAL that they are better at it than someone not handpicked by LeBron, just because.

What this “Docuseries” really should be is a way to weed out who should and should not be allowed to conceive. Because anyone who watches and/or enjoys a DOCUMENTARY ABOUT LEBRON JAMES’ FRIENDS should nevvvvver be allowed to reproduce. Ever.

So h/t to ESPN for deciding this was a good idea. In one fell swoop you’ve outed yourselves as LeBron’s personal media entity and the producer of the dumbest shit of all time.

Now pardon me while I DVR everything Fox Sports has ever made.

-Joey B

 

 

The 300s 2018 Fantasy Football All Cock Tease Team

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Welcome, welcome to our awards. Before we begin I’m going to briefly kick it to our team on tonight’s red carpet…

Thank Joey! Here we see Founder Red wearing a Lakers jersey with camo cargo shorts. I’m really digging his ironic choice that is clearly a protest to our recent cooperation with North Korea. Back to the studio…

Thanks guys! Now before we proceed I should probably explain what these awards actually are about since nobody fucking knows.

We have all picked a bust or 12 throughout our fantasy football seasons, however most are of either the “reach” or “hard on” variety. A “reach”, as is well known, is a player you pick a bit too high, possibly motivated by the fear of someone else picking him. A “hard on” pick, for lack of a more enlightened term, would refer to players that we just personally really like without a ton evidence as to why and that simply don’t work out.

These awards, however, celebrate the “cock teases” – players who are picked at a good time given their value, normally put up good numbers relative to that selection point, yet completely fuck us. They don’t buy us dinner first either, just bend us over the analogous  10, 12, or 16 team table and fuck us.

So without further ado, as composed by and contributed to by our talented staff, I give you The 300s 2018 All Cock Tease Team:

QB: Jimmy Garoppolo, San Francisco 49ers
Red: I was ready for Jimmy G to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes that was my 2017 fantasy season, but in his third game the most handsome ACL in the league exploded and I was stuck with Matt Stafford at QB the rest of the way.

 

RB1: Jordan Howard, Chicago Bears
Mattes: Now, a lot of people might give me crap for drafting Howard in the second round of a PPR draft. First, I’d like to respond by saying it’s only a half-point league, and, second, the guy also had two-straight 1,200-plus-yard seasons and nine touchdowns last year on a bad team. I – like many – expected the Bears to be much-improved this year (which they certainly are), and I also believed new head coach Matt Nagy when he said he’d finally get Howard more involved in the passing game. Then came along Tarik Cohen, and there were also five games this year in which Howard averaged under 2.6 yards a carry. In fact, Cohen actually ended up finishing over FOURTY spots ahead of Howard in the overall rankings this year. Picked the wrong guy, I guess, huh?

 


RB2: Le’veon Bell, Pittsburgh Steelers
GUEST CONTRIBUTION! Patty Blackouts: I mean what is there to say besides he’s a seflish fuck who passed up 850k a week to sit out and try and protect his body to try and get a long term deal. Took him 4th overall thinking he’d show up sometime around end of September or October and nope just sat out all season sending cryptic tweets so you’d think he was going to report and next ya know he’s playing pickup basketball games at the local Y. I hope no one pays him what he wants and he regrets passing up the 14.5 mill he would have been paid this season by signing the franchise tag. But yes I’m bitter because  I used my first overall pick on him in fantasy got the same amount of points out of him as he did paychecks this season….0!

I hope he gets hurt in the next preseason.

Douchebag.

WR1: Quincy Enunwa, Goddam Jets
Red: No one, and I mean no one in my fantasy league watches more Jets games than me as the Mrs. is a huge fan. So watching a team that bad I was determined to derive some value out of it, which is exactly what Quincy Enunwa was going to do for me. Enunwa was going to be the steal of the draft as he put up 15, 12 and 10 points in 3 of the first 4 games, but then his season was derailed by various injuries. He cracked 6 points just once after September…

 

WR2: Golden Tate, Detroit Lions/Philadelphia Eagles
Joey B: Tate started the season as Matthew Stafford’s #1 option in what is normally a high flying Detroit offense. To that end, he kicked off the season with games of  17, 15, 10 and TWENTY FUCKING NINE. After that he completely shit the bed, probably became an asshole in the locker room because he realized his name is fucking Golden, and then got traded to Philly where he had one game of 20, coincidentally the only other time he’s seen the end zone since September, and seemingly is hated by all 12 of Philly’s playoff-ready QBs.

 

TE: Gronk
Joey B: I always pick Gronk wayyyy too high because he plays a position where all of 4-5 guys give you tremendous amounts of points and even among those guys he usually stands out. But this year, as the world knows, was different. He’s just broken and I’m just sad.

 

Flex1: Jarvis Landry, Cleveland Browns
Mattes: Landry wasn’t without a few big games of his own this year. Also like Cousins, Landry was a guy whom I expected to make a huge splash with a new team this season, but instead was super inconsistent. Yes, he had to deal with learning how to play with two different QBs this year, but remember that Baker Mayfield has been playing since Week 3. In the 13 games he’s played with Mayfield, Landry has put up single-digit totals in seven of them. For a guy who averaged 99 catches per season before this year, his mark of 72 through 16 games this year is incredibly disappointing.

 

Flex2: Chris Hogan, New England Patriots
Big Z: With Brandin Cooks in LA and Julian Edelman sidelined for the first four games of the season, I was certain Chris Hogan was a steal in the fifth round. He would be one of Tom Brady’s top targets the first month of the season, and hopefully stay in the mix even after Edelman returned.

Hogan scored two touchdowns in Week 2, but he wouldn’t find the end zone again for three months. By that time I had already dropped him and moved on. Just another cautionary tale of putting too much stock in to a Patriots WR/RB for fantasy football purposes.

 

D/ST: San Diego Los Angeles Chargers
Joey B: With Joey Bosa and company up front and some decent pieces in the secondary, I thought the “pressure creates turnovers” rule would get me some points on D. Instead Bosa got hurt and the Chargers are last in return yards allowed.

 

Kicker: Dan Bailey, Minnesota Vikings
Big Z: Drafting and picking up kickers in fantasy football is a bit of a crap shoot. You just try to pick up a guy who kicks for a team with a good, but not great, offense. If he plays in warm weather or a dome, even better. That’s why I love NFC South kickers and why I will never draft the Bills kicker.

Dan Bailey had a rough 2017 and got released by Dallas. But he was at one time the most accurate kicker in NFL history. When he got picked up by Minnesota, I thought he would be a good guy to take a flier on. Accurate kicker on a good, not great, team that plays its home games in a dome.

Bailey is 20/27 on field goals for the Vikes this year and his 2018 may be worse than his 2017. Yikes. God help the Vikings special teams coach

 

*BONUS: Mid-Season Pick Up Fist Fucker of the Year*

WR: Marquez Valdes-Scantling, Green Bay Packers

Red: MVS was one of the few guys I was first to the punch on in my league and he looked like a STUD. 6’4″ with 4.3 speed and Aaron Rodgers throwing him the ball? Yes please. After a quiet start to the season MVS blew onto the scene with a 4 week stretch of 13+ points. He would post 6+ points just once the rest of the way…

 

 

 

CONNECT.THAT.HEADLINE! – “Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey Sent Beard Shavings to Azealia Banks So She Could Make an Amulet to Protect Him from ISIS”

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NME –  But while her claims largely went unmentioned, they’ve been reference in a new piece on the Twitter CEO by Vanity Fair. writer Nick Bilton says: “A source who worked with him told me Dorsey had sent a rapper his beard shavings to make him an amulet that would protect him from evildoers.”

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WE’RE BACK! Episode 2 of CONNECT.THAT.HEADLINE!

What you, the readers of The 300s critically acclaimed “CONNECT.THAT.HEADLINE” column, gloss over is the cross I bear in writing these. That burden is the fact that I would love to just sit back, as most due with such a lead, and ask “what in the actual fuck?” allowing my mind to wonder. But no, I must leave nothing to the imagination and delve deeply into the subject at hand, trying to make sense of how these ad lib-ish series of words are connected.

First and foremost if you don’t know who Jack Dorsey is, he is the CEO of Twitter. I, as you know, have sworn off actual, formal research but from what I….think? I know he is a mix of more suave, nameless tech execs that have sprouted up over the last few years and Dan Bilzerian. Basically he is formal, but likes to party.

As for Azealia Banks, she’s a tough one to describe. To sum it up,  in today’s day and age it would seem that it is not uncommon for a rapper to become a “someone”, largely based off social media, and then sort of put rap on the backburner in favor of other shit. Azealia Banks in particular would appear to have put her musical artistry on hold in lieu of being just kind of a crazy person. She picks fights with whomever and is VERY into all the mystical and astrology-type shit that a lot of people on twitter tend to be. A synopsis of Ms. Banks would be that she was an on-pause musician turned voodoo witch doctor shit stirrer. An “American Horror Story” character with #bars, if you will.

I can’t tell you how ISIS, or Jack Dorsey’s specific fear of ISIS fits into the mold. Islamic militants use social media heavily to recruit so one would think their ranks would be toasting the head of Twitter and pledging to save him a virgin in heaven at their annual summer outing. On the other hand, Twitter pays really well and ISIS literally has people quitting over pay , so I could see some resentment building when you are, in your mind, dying in the name of God and some pasty fuck is making literally 1000x what you are to write computer code for a blue bird.

And so good readers, to ward off the evil wishes of ISIS, Jack Dorsey did the only logical thing and sent his beard trimmings to an absolutely not stable internet personality/rapper to make him a necklace. To defend him from those terrorists. IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE.

These are fun.

-Joey B.

 

Breaking Down Bovada’s Odds Of The Last King/Queen Standing On “Game Of Thrones”

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I figured for fans of The 300s who are into gambling, I’d break down for the two of you this list and see if we can decipher our safe plays at this point as well address any oddities.

-First and foremost, I’m surprised there aren’t a couple more Jora/Greyworm/bit character/warrior-types as long shots.

-Jamie Lannister at the bottom seems a bit odd, but if you think about it, when did he ever express a personal craving for power? It just doesn’t seem to be on his list of priorities, a list which currently consists of stabbing people and fucking his twin sister.

-Unless there’s some deep-GOT stuff regarding Bran I don’t know about, I’m perplexed he’s even on this list, let alone this high. I’ve heard the usual conspiracies regarding Westeros’ favorite paraplegic who possibly has used a bit too much ayahuasca, but none of them end with Bran himself being in a position of power, if you winkwink nudgenudge get my drift.

-Cersei being this low is either a sign of people trying to get way too #woke or that they just still don’t understand what a bad bitch she is. I don’t know which but she should be higher.

-How fuckin pissed would people if Gendry won this thing? That said, if you’ve seen my twitter avatar you know I’m #ChrisMilesForever so I am all for Joseph Dempsey’s character picking up the dub.

Onto some picks….

Arya Stark (+900)

This could be another “woke” pick but out of the contenders I guarantee you Arya is among the last few to die, if at all. She just won’t go away.

Tyrion Lannister (+1000)

This feels about right for Tyrion, who despite all his cunning and intelligence, two traits that aren’t without fragility as we saw last season, has consistently been exposed by brute force. Also, he has always just seemed doomed – at least to me. That said, a late run with an army behind him, possibly that of a fallen fellow contender, is not out of the realm (baboom) of possibility.

Sansa Stark (+1300)

Take my motherfucking money. In Sansa, we’ve seen the beginning to end of Cersei Lannister’s own road to sociopathy. She is going to be HARD to take down.

The Night King (+900)

Ya, he’s prolly gonna win.