Category: Food

Off-Duty Burger King Worker Lends a Hand and Gets Fired

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Fox News – Customers at a Burger King in Jacksonville, Fla., believe a woman waiting in line took the restaurant’s “Have it your way” slogan a little too literally when she hopped behind the counter and started preparing an order.

Witnesses say they watched the woman ─ who was photographed wearing a tank top and shorts ─ leave the slow-moving line and step into the food prep area, where she proceeded to slap on a pair of gloves before getting down to work…

In a statement to Fox News, Burger King said that the woman was an off-duty employee, but confirmed that the incident should not have happened. It also stated that the manager, and the woman, had been fired.

FIRED? This woman deserves a medal from the Jacksonville Chamber of Commerce for her dedication to service. We’ve all waited in slow-moving lines at fast food restaurants (usually Taco Bell), and finally someone did something about it. This employee shouldn’t have been fired, she should have been promoted. It’s gotta be hard for a fast food joint to find an employee who cares that much about their craft.

Whatever happened to the expression “many hands make light work?” This poor woman got fired for her dedication to teamwork. Why? Because the fashion police happened to be waiting in line at the same time?

“I said, ‘No, you’re not about to fix my food. You’re not in uniform,'” Marcelita [Jones] claims.

Take it easy, Marcelita. You’re at Burger King, not the Four Seasons. Also, it’s Florida in July. I can’t imagine how hot the back of a BK in Florida in July is. I’d rather my fast food worker there wear a tank top and shorts instead of business casual. And she was wearing gloves. I don’t see the issue.

I just hope this employee isn’t out of work for long. If I owned a fast food restaurant I’d offer her a job tomorrow. I don’t ever remember meeting a fast food employee that dedicated to their job.

Dunkin’ Does It Again!

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🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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boston.com – Lifestyle running brand Saucony… has teamed up with Dunkin’ Donuts to create an orange and magenta-infused version of its Kinvara 9 in anticipation of the Boston Marathon. The collaboration honors the “symbiotic relationship between running, coffee and donuts,” according to a press release…

The Saucony X Dunkin’ Kinvara 9 is available to pre-order for both men and women starting Tuesday for $120. The orders will ship April 3, when the shoe will also be available at Marathon Sports locations and on marathonsports.com.

$120! That’s it? When I saw these bad boys on Twitter I thought the price would easily be higher than $300. I might have to stock up on these kicks because they are fresh.

I’ve always admired the “America Runs on Dunkin” campaign and this latest move fits that campaign, and their brand, to a T. Orange and magenta running shoes with donuts on them? That’s kind of funny! It’s good to see Dunkin’ not taking itself too seriously. I can’t imagine putting on a pair of running shoes with this lady staring at me:

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That logo would feel more at home on the iPad case of the self-important guy at Starbucks who sits there for three hours a day to complain about Brookline zoning laws on Twitter.

With a price of $120, these shoes might actually end up on the feet of some normal, everyday Dunkin’ drinkers. A win for the common man! Compare that to the Pizza Hut Pie Tops. One pair of Pie Tops on eBay is currently going for $2750. Any one who can afford a pair of Pie Tops probably hasn’t eaten Pizza Hut in decades.

Dunkin’ piggy backing on the Boston Marathon is another a great move. America runs on Dunkin’, but Boston is Dunkin’s home base. As a Bostonian, I love seeing Dunkin’ embrace its roots. I’d also love to see how many Dunkin’s are on the marathon route.

 

PS – This commercial is more than a decade old but I still can’t get this song out of my head. You’re welcome.

Dunkin’s Menu Goes on a Diet

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boston.com – Regulars at Dunkin’ Donuts may begin noticing parts of the menu disappear this week.

The Canton-based company began testing a “simplified menu” in a number of markets last summer, eventually expanding the pared-down offerings to roughly 11 percent of their stores.

Now, beginning this Monday in New England and upstate New York, the reduced menu will be rolled out nationwide. The company expects all stores will feature the new menu by the end of March…

Dunkin’ Donuts says that the reduced menu will result in “faster, more accurate service and a more consistent consumer experience from store to store.”

The Dunkin’ Donuts menu is going on a diet and I don’t hate it. Here’s the full list of items getting the ax (for now):

The only item on that list that I’ve ordered more than once is the Steak & Egg Breakfast Sandwich. Not filet mignon, but a nice change of pace from the usual breakfast meats. Other than that I can’t say that I’ll miss anything that’s getting the ax. If you want a smoothie, don’t go to Dunkin’ Donuts. If you want a turkey, ham or tuna sandwich for lunch there are literally dozens of better places to go to.

I love the move to drop some flavor shots. What maniac is ordering peach coffee? Also, any move to reduce the number of flavor shots/swirls on the menu is a good move. In fact, I’m in favor of dropping all flavor swirls other than mocha. Try ordering a hazelnut iced coffee outside of New England with cream and sugar. You won’t even be able to taste the coffee if they put that sugary sweet hazelnut flavor swirl in there, which they will. If you ask for the standard, original flavor shot you will have to ask them to make it at least twice. I speak from experience.

Dunkin’s attempt to provide “faster, more accurate service and a more consistent consumer experience from store to store” will be appreciated outside of New England. Again, try ordering a flavored iced coffee at a Dunkin’ that hasn’t been around for 20 years and you’ll see what I mean. I’m firmly on Team Dunkin’, but I’ve never had to explain my order more than once at Starbucks.

Of course we’ll have to wait and see how long this menu diet lasts. McDonald’s made news about three years ago as it trimmed its menu, but it’s been beefed back up lately with the new $1-$2-$3 menu. It’s a step in the right direction for Dunkin’, though. As long as we don’t see pizza back on their menu in six months.

Arby’s Will Soon Have More Meats

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CNN Money – Arby’s is buying Buffalo Wild Wings, the chain of sports bars, for $2.9 billion.

In an all-cash deal, Arby’s is paying $157 per share for Buffalo Wild Wings (BWLD), a 7% premium based on Monday’s closing price. Buffalo Wild Wings stock had been much lower before rumors about a deal with Arby’s surfaced two weeks ago…

The deal will take Buffalo Wild Wings private. Arby’s is owned by Roark Capital, which also has big stakes in Auntie Anne’s, Carvel and Jimmy John’s.

Buffalo Wild Wings, known as B-Dubs to its fans, was facing pressure from activist investors who support the deal.

The two most disappointing restaurant chains in America are joining forces? It’s a match made in fast food heaven! Buffalo Wild Wings, the home of 75¢ Boneless Thursdays. And a place where the flat Pepsi flows like wine. I’m talking about a little place called Arby’s.

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Woof. Not exactly a power couple. More like Arby’s leaving with the last girl at the bar at 2:15 AM. What’s the matter, Arby’s? You big swingin dicks couldn’t close on Hooters?

Now Buffalo Wild Wings and Arby’s can combine forces to sling bastardized chicken wings and roast beef sandwiches more efficiently. I love chicken wings but I won’t set foot in a B-Dubs unless it’s 75¢ wing night. I shudder to think what those small, cold, under-sauced wings go for on a regular night. Hooters beats B-Dubs ten times out of ten. And don’t even get me started on Arby’s. Jon Stewart covered them pretty well.

It’s unbelievable to think that they sell the same food as Kelly’s. Comparing Kelly’s roast beef to Arby’s roast beef is like comparing apples to hockey pucks. And I still miss the Allston Kelly’s.

I’d also like to take a moment to discuss the soda situation at Buffalo Wild Wings and at Arby’s. I love a cold one-liter bottle of Diet Pepsi on a hot summer afternoon as much as any one, but fountain Pepsi at restaurants sucks. The Coke at McDonald’s can’t be beat and Burger King has stepped up its game with Coke Freestyle machines. The flat Pepsi is the worst part of any Taco Bell trip. Thankfully I usually don’t drink soda from Taco Bell unless it’s after dark and it’s mixed with some Admiral Nelson. Dumping Pepsi and getting back with Coke would be an easy improvement for B-Dubs and Arby’s.

It’d be interesting to see if Arby’s interest in Buffalo Wild Wings had anything to do with Buffalo Wild Wings venturing into the fast casual realm with B-Dubs Express. Does Arby’s hope to make B-Dubs Express the next Raising Cane’s? That might make sense with millennials “killing” chain restaurants, but there’s not much Buffalo Wild Wings has to offer to start with. If you take away the loud music and big screen TVs, what’s left?

Pedialyte Just Changed the Game with Hangover Freeze Pops

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Pedialyte just changed. the. game. I had friends in college who would swear by Pedialyte as the drink of choice for a hangover, but I never dabbled myself. Just never felt the urge to walk down the aisles in the grocery store and feel those eyes on me. That shame. When you’re buying Pedialyte people know either you have a kid who needs his electrolytes or you got black out drunk last night and need a fix. Well Pedialyte just went and flipped the game on its head with these Hangover Freeze Pops.

Huge freeze pop guy. In fact I once ate a whole box of them with a friend when we were like 12. Juvenile diabetes like you read about. But you can bet your ass I’ll be buying a box of these (hopefully) hangover curing freeze pops. It would seem like Pedialyte is in the midst of a re-brand too, targeting 20 something degenerates like myself. Seriously, check out some of their other recent tweets.

GET IT PEDIALYTE! YOU PARTY ANIMAL!

Do you enjoy getting shithoused watching your favorite football team? Pedialyte’s there for your irresponsible ass.

Tryna get day drunk? Lets get after it.

Long night of vodka and drinking out of dick shaped straws? Pedialyte it is.

I am all about this new look Pedialyte. I no longer will be shamed using a kid’s medicine for debaucherous purposes. Crack open a couple freeze pops and fire up the Netflix.

It’s a Great Day For a Winter Lager!

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Nothing gets me ready for the holiday season better than a Samuel Adams Winter Lager on a 72° day in Boston!

Look, it’s hard to rag on Jim Koch. There are definitely a few too many varieties of Sam Adams these days but he is the granddaddy of the American craft beer movement. He was making beer in his kitchen before it was cool. Still, I can’t help but point out the absurdity of the Sam Adams seasonal schedule.

The Sam Adams seasonal schedule is no longer based in reality. Summer Ale at Fenway Park on April 1 is comical. Seeing Summer Ale get pushed aside for Octoberfest when it’s still hot-as-balls in mid-August is depressing. Popping open a Winter Lager on 72° day is preposterous. And the poor old spring seasonal White Ale Noble Pils Alpine Spring Cold Snap only gets about six weeks every year. At least it’s around for the Super Bowl.

And it’s probably going to get worse. With global warming and el niño, how long until Octoberfest becomes a beach beer?

Papa John Coming Up With Hot Takes to Explain Slowing Sales

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Forbes – Papa John is having a bad day.

The net worth of John Schnatter, founder and CEO of pizza chain Papa John’s, fell $70 million in less than 24 hours after the company released its third-quarter financial report on Tuesday afternoon. The business beat estimates on earnings and revenue, but it lowered guidance on same-store sales for the coming period…

Schnatter blames part of the downturn on the National Football League, which has faced turbulence amid widespread national anthem protests in the past year. “The NFL has hurt us by not resolving the current debacle,” he said on a conference call on Wednesday. Papa John’s is the league’s official pizza sponsor.

How about the balls on Papa John? Papa John blaming sagging pizza sales on NFL protests would be like the Ninety Nine Restaurant blaming sagging sales on the Dennis Eckersley incident. [Of course that would never happen at the Ninety Nine. Who doesn’t love Gold Fever Wings with a $2 Bud Select?] It’s long past time for Papa John to take a good long look in the mirror and in his recipe book.

Domino’s Pizza has had a resurgence over the last ten years. Their stock closed at $2.83 per share on November 20, 2008. At the start of trading today, their stock was at $178.44 per share. That’s an increase of more than 6,000%. What happened? Domino’s realized there were problems. Their recipes were stale and their service was subpar. Just as bad, they weren’t “cool.” So they very publicly reworked and improved their pizza recipes in 2009. They tweaked their menu. They introduced the Pizza Tracker. They were no longer the company with delivery drivers allegedly killing people on the roads to deliver pizzas in 30 minutes. They became a hip, self-deprecating company, a social-media darling that served affordable pizza in tough economic times.

Papa John’s has had no such soul searching. Their pizza tastes the same today as it did the first time I had it in college. At least then I could pay for it with convenience points my dad’s money instead of my own hard-earned income. Today I won’t even consider ordering Papa John’s unless the local team won the night before and it’s 50% off. Otherwise it’s $14.99 (plus tax) for a large pepperoni.

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You’ll never realize the criminal mark up on pizza until you see what it goes for when it’s 50% off a few times a week. Why not just make a large three-topping pizza $7.99 all day every day like Domino’s? Cut out the gimmicks. Those “better” ingredients can’t be that much more expenses.

There’s also the problems with Papa John himself. Maybe a whiny rich guy who doesn’t want to pay more taxes shouldn’t be the mascot for a low-end pizza chain.

Sounds like you’ve got a “you” problem, Papa John. Why don’t you go figure it out yourself and leave your business partners out of it. I can’t believe I am going to stick up for Roger Goodell here, but there are enough things that he has screwed up in the past year and deserves the blame for. Sagging sales of your shitty, overpriced pizza are not one of them.

 

Domino’s to Test Self-Driving Delivery Cars

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CNET – If you’re one of a lucky few Michiganders within range of one specific Domino’s Pizza location in Ann Arbor, your next pizza could show up in a self-driving car… sort of.

Ford and Domino’s announced Tuesday that the two companies have partnered up to gauge customer reaction to self-driving cars. Instead of just asking folks on the street how they view autonomous vehicles, Ford wants to integrate one of its cars into the pizza delivery process.

After ordering Domino’s in the Ann Arbor area, the customer may receive a phone call asking if they’d like to participate in this study. If the recipient says yes, Domino’s will load the customer’s order into Ford’s self-driving car. The recipient will receive a notification when the vehicle arrives, at which point they’ll have to walk outside, input a code into a device on the side of the car, and then they can retrieve the pizza from a special window designed to keep the pizza warm on its trip.

There are two qualities I value above all others in the fast-food game: self-awareness and creativity. That’s why I love White Castle and Taco Bell. Today, I’m adding Domino’s to that list.

White Castle is the place for stoners to get sliders at 4 in the morning and breakfast at 4 in the afternoon. Taco Bell is the place where cost-conscious consumers people too broke for Chipotle go to sample an ever-evolving menu of Mexican offerings. White Castle and Taco Bell aren’t trying to fool anyone. You won’t see Frescata sandwiches there.

Domino’s has long displayed a keen sense of self-awareness. In 2009, they launched an ad campaign to apologize for how lousy their pizza had gotten over the years (though it was never bad enough to stop me from downing two thirds of a the 5-5-5 deal on a weekly basis in college).

More recently Domino’s Instagram has gotten attention for its brutal honesty. You won’t see anything like the pristine Big Mac that has never been witnessed in the wild on the Domino’s Instagram feed.

Domino’s has never been afraid to mix things up with their side offerings, either, but self-driving delivery cars takes their creativity and ingenuity to a new level. If Domino’s offered delivery pizza identical to all other delivery pizza on the market, you better believe I’d choose Domino’s just for the driver-free delivery experience. No awkward small talk with the delivery guy. No judgement on the size of my order for one. And no judgement on the amount I tip.

I only have one major concern. If this self-driving car is making multiple stops on one trip, how do I know the guy before me isn’t going to swipe my Kickers? Hopefully the food is more secure than the newspapers inside newspaper boxes.

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Oh yeah, I hope the cars don’t crash either. That would be bad. But I’ll leave that problem to Ford to iron out. For now, I’ll just give credit where credit is due. Domino’s is stepping up their game, again, and I’m on board. Sorry, Papa John.

It’s Over – The Worst New Product of 2017 Is Here

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TODAY.com – The latest wacky pickle product is something Walmart is calling “Tropickles,” a summer release featuring cucumber pickles floating in a jar of red fruit punch. The pickles, which were released July 14, are now being sold under the discount retailer’s Great Value brand. 

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I love trying outrageous new food and beverage products. I’ve yet to find a new Oreo flavor that I can’t eat a whole sleeve of in one sitting. I admire Taco Bell for its tireless efforts in innovation and for bringing new and creative products to life, like the Doritos Locos Tacos. I’ve enjoyed a few Not Your Father’s Root Beers, and know that Dougie can’t wait to get his hands on some Not Your Father’s Mountain Ale.

I love it when companies and restaurants take chances. But fruit punch flavored pickles is where I draw the line. Who the hell thought cucumbers in fruit punch flavored vinegar would be a good idea? I’m serious. I can’t think of one reason to try a Tropickle other than just to see how disgusting it is. Maybe I’ll pick up a jar and save it until December and make the guy who finishes in last place in my fantasy football league down it. It can’t be much better than pumpkin spice motor oil.

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So while I’m washing down a McLobster with a Moxie this weekend, I’ll take a pass on Tropickles.

Please Keep Dougie In Your Thoughts As Chipotle Goes Under The SEC’s Microscope (Still/Again)

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Quick one here. You may or may not have heard that Chipotle is in trouble, again/still from last time, for being filthy and disease-ridden. Not to be outdone by the E.Coli outbreak at the location near BC, an outpost in Virginia has caused about 130 people to get sick. You almost have to admire the Drago “if they die, they die” approach these folks take when it comes to their customers.

The latest news though, like all that pertains to Chipotle, is a personal story for us at the 300. You see, our fearless leader Dougie MacRay lives for the subtle notes of food-borne illness in the burritos and bowls he consumes around the clock. The pseudo-Mexican, borderline fast food that Chipotle serves holds a near and dear place in his heart; it is the driving force behind the every-man nature of his ambition. Basically without Chipotle he has no reason to live.

So let’s keep Dougie in our thoughts as this investigation moves forward. For without him you have less to do while not working and I can’t write tinfoil helmet blogs about the UFC.

Slainte.

Editors note: As normal, I’ll let movie quotes do the talking for me.