Category: Movies

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Iron Man 2

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Let me start off by saying that Iron Man 2 is probably the worst film in the MCU. It bothers the living hell out of me, especially coming off of what I consider one of the best Marvel movies period, the first Iron Man. Ask most Marvel fans and they’ll probably rank this one near or at the bottom of their list which is totally valid. There are some incredible lows in this film, and i’ll do my best to break them down and sort them out for you.

Iron Man 2 is the 3rd installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, released on May 7th, 2010. By all means, this is the first true step in building towards The Avengers, as it features Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, and Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson. To quickly summarize, Iron Man 2 starts off with Tony at the Stark Expo in Queens, NY. He’s showboating his Iron Man suit, as he often does, but it’s also revealed that he’s dying, poisoned by the very thing keeping him alive, his chest arc reactor. Watching on television somewhere in Russia, the sinister Ivan Vanko, played by Mickey Rourke, is working away on his own version of the arc reactor, based on plans crafted by his father and Tony’s dad, Howard. He ambushes Tony at the Monaco Grand Prix, debuting his alter ego Whiplash. This is met with curiosity from Tony’s rival arms dealer, Justin Hammer, played by Sam Rockwell. Hammer breaks Whiplash out of prison and hires him to build a fleet of Iron Man-like suits for him to win back his government arms contract. Vanko does build Hammer his suits, but is also secretly working on improving his Whiplash armor, very similar to the way Stark secretly built his Iron Man armor in captivity in the first installment of the franchise. The film culminates with a battle at the Stark expo, and with the help of Don Cheadle’s War Machine, Tony saves the day once again. Oh, and remember how Tony was dying? Yeah, he just magically creates a brand new element that has the power to save him. He’s really smart guys.

You’ll notice how I left out a lot of what happens in the middle of the movie. There’s a reason for that. It’s pure trash.

There’s so much happening in the second act of this movie that is painful to the eyes and ears.

Let’s start with Rhodey becoming War Machine because Tony Stark was too drunk in his Iron Man suit. Riiiiiiiight. Just try and watch this nonsense with a straight face. Also, shout out to a cameo by DJ AM. RIP.

“I want my bird.” Vanko insists on Hammer getting him his bird, and he seems pretty damn serious about it. Yet, later in the movie he gets a random bird and….

….it immediately gets bagged in hilarious fashion! Also, what the hell is with Sam Rockwell in this movie? He is insanely bad and overacting the shit out of this thing. Mickey Rourke looks bored to death at every turn, and that’s saying something coming from an actor who was pretty much blacklisted from Hollywood for like a decade before this.

I only put this here because John Favreau stinks at acting. Decent director, stinky actor. Also, are we really not supposed to think ScarJo is Black Widow? Why even bother trying to hide it and play this game?

Finally, I’d like to shout out to Kate Mara for being in this thing for a total of 30 seconds.

I honestly could go on and on and nitpick this movie to death. Iron Man 3 stinks just as bad which is kind of crazy to think that for as much acclaim this series has, it only really has one good entry.

My final review: 3.0 out of 10. I’ve included the trailer just in case you wanted to test it out yourself. Godspeed.

Stay tuned for our next entry in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, Thor.

The 300s Top 10 Blogs of 2018

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2018 was a banner year for The 300s as we saw our readership grow exponentially, we rolled out a ton of new swag, and we brought some new writers onto the staff. We appreciate everyone who takes a few minutes out of their day to read a blog or watch a video or listen to a podcast. With that being said, it’s the last day of the year so we had to break down the Top 10 Blogs of 2018.

1.) David Price Continues Good Will Tour, Rips 69-Year-Old Red Sox Reporter Jonny Miller

2.) Apparently Jon Gruden’s Son, Deuce Gruden, is the Goddamn Hulk

3.) RIP Mac Miller, Dead at 26

4.) Nike Deserves Applause for Choosing Colin Kaepernick as New Face of “Just Do It” Campaign

5.) Boston Celtics NBA 2K19 Ratings Predictions

6.) The Marlins Are Replacing the Ugly Home Run Statue With Irony

7.) Tough Break for Malden Men Who Recovered Red Sox Banner

8.) Terrible News: Ed Hochuli is Retiring. Better News: His Son is Replacing Him

9.) I LOVE This Quote From Rick Porcello

10.) Brock Lesnar Possibly Playing Ivan Drago’s Son In “Creed 2”

 

 

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: The Incredible Hulk

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The300s MCU

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Raise your hand if you completely forgot this film was a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Trust me, from time to time I forget it too. A month after Iron Man hit theaters in May 2008, The Incredible Hulk burst onto the scene to keep the Marvel momentum alive. To be fair to all those involved in making this movie, it’s not as a bad as most people remember. In fact, I think many forget this film’s ties to the MCU mainly because  Ed Norton (who is a great actor by the way) was almost immediately replaced with Mark Ruffalo. It once again had something to do with a contract dispute (Norton wanted more creative control over the finished product and it caused a lot of headaches behind the scenes) so Marvel went in a different direction to get Bruce Banner ready for his Avengers debut.

So recently I sat down and re-watched this forgotten gem just to see how well it held up. This was only my second viewing of the film as I had not seen it since it was playing in theaters. Still, we promised a Marvel Cinematic Rewind, which means watching even some of the more obscure entries in the universe.

To quickly summarize, The Incredible Hulk is the second entry in the MCU. It follows Bruce Banner, a brilliant scientist who’s experiment goes wrong, turning him into one of the most dangerous and fearsome players in comic book history. The movie starts with Banner on the run in Brazil, laying low chatting up online with a mysterious Mr. Blue, who is trying to help cure him. By day, Banner is helping out in a bottling plant (where they produce green soda!) and naturally some of his blood gets mixed in a shipment causing Stan Lee to get Gamma radiation poisoning, leading the government to track down his whereabouts. Still with me so far?  Banner barely gets away when the SWAT team kicks in his door and a chase ensues around the city. He narrowly escapes and decides to head back to America, hitchhiking and bumming it on foot from Brazil all the way back to Virginia, in a cool 16 days. You’re still with me right? The head SWAT guy, played by Tim Roth, doesn’t like this very much and winds up taking a dose of super soldier serum mixed with a little Banner blood and becomes Abomination. They do battle, Hulk wins, and Banner once again goes on the run.

The Incredible Hulk definitely sits near the bottom of my MCU rankings. The entire movie is essentially just a cat and mouse game with the government consistently trying to bring Banner in, only to finally utilize him to stop Abomination. While I normally like Ed Norton, his Banner is, well, boring. This is definitely the beginning of the lazy villain stereotype that has plagued Marvel films. Tim Roth brings little to the table as Abomination, who probably has a total of 10 minutes screen time. And while i’m not particularly drawn to any specific aspect of this film, it is at least what most would refer to as a good popcorn movie. Good action sequences, paced pretty well, and it keeps your attention. Hey, at least it’s not that god awful 2003 Hulk. I still have nightmares about that one. If this movie proved anything though, it’s that i’m completely content with just one standalone Hulk movie in the MCU.

Final Verdict: 5.0 out of 10

And while you’re here, enjoy this nonsense.

Thor 3.5 AKA the New Men in Black Movie Just Dropped a Trailer and It Looks Awesome

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I never knew I needed to see another Men in Black movie until now, let alone another one without Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. The most recent entry into the series, MIB 3, was excellent and an absolute tearjerker with Thanos, I mean Josh Brolin, starring as a young Tommy Lee.

I thought that would have been the perfect sendoff, but hey studios gotta make money right? Thankfully Men in Black International actually looks like a fun, self aware, action comedy, which is exactly what made the first MIB so good. Chris Hemsworth takes the mantle as the young veteran MIB agent and brings on Valkyrie, I mean Tessa Thompson, as the rookie hotshot.

Not sold yet? Well good because I’m not done. Rounding out the cast is the go to action/deadpan comedy actor of our generation in Liam Neeson.

This came out of left field entirely for me as I thought Men in Black had gotten shelved entirely after the whole Sony email leak revealed plans to create a crossover event with 21 Jump Street. That movie would have been fucking awesome, but it seems like that got canned, for now at least. But Chris Hemsworth showed in Thor: Ragnarok that he has some serious comedy chops that he’s dying to put to use so I am all in on this movie.

Men in Black International releases on June 14, 2019.

Wednesday Morning Movie Quote: Kill Bill 2

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“As you know, l’m quite keen on comic books. Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating.”

One of my favorite monologues comes from Kill Bill 2 (2004), the second and final entry into Quentin Tarantino’s uber violent revenge series. Obvious spoilers in the clip above, but it’s been 14 years so if you haven’t seen Kill Bill yet thats a you problem. Bill tackles superhero mythology and what it is that makes Superman his favorite; the character’s critique of mankind.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Iron Man

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A little over 10 years ago I walked into the movie theater with some friends. I had just finished my freshman year of college and was home for a couple of months. That summer promised some insanely popular movies, namely the second installment of the Christopher Nolan Batman franchise, The Dark Knight. To say that Iron Man was anywhere on my radar would have been a complete lie. While I always considered myself a fan of comic book movies, I was never what you would consider a die-hard. You have to figure, this was 2008, way before we were able to see what the Marvel Cinematic Universe would become. Hell, just a year earlier we were given the much maligned Spider-Man 3. It was a different time back then. So when I sat down in my seat in the theater that day, I had no idea what was about to happen. I was about to enter a world that would engross me for the next decade.

In case you somehow forgot, Iron Man started it all. We were introduced to Tony Stark, a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist (his words, not mine) played by Robert Downey Jr., who at the time was coming off a rough battle with substance abuse. The casting of Downey Jr. was definitely a bit out of left field, especially to lead what Marvel Studios hoped would launch a franchise. Keep in mind though, this was before Disney acquired Marvel and the distribution was still handled by Paramount. Suffice it to say they absolutely nailed the casting. I mean, could you imagine anyone else in the role?

To sum it up quickly, Iron Man follows Stark to the Middle East where he is conducting weapons tests for his company, Stark Industries. While overseeing the development, he is kidnapped by terrorists and instructed to create a weapon for them. Using his genius and the materials provided, he constructs a crude version of the Iron Man suit and unleashes holy hell on the terrorists. He escapes and returns home, set on changing how his company operates and with a passion to do good in the world. Naturally, shit hits the fan when his business partner, Obadiah Stane, catches wind of Starks’ plan to exit the arms dealing industry and learns of his Iron Man persona. Stane becomes Iron Monger with the help of Tony’s old suit, they battle, and naturally Tony wins and saves the day. After the credits, Nick Fury shows up to plant the seed of the Avengers initiative, and the rest is history.

I remember when I first saw the post-credits scene, I had no idea what Marvel’s plans were. In fact, I don’t think I had ever seen a post-credits scene before this point. Marvel then obviously perfected it, always leaving us hanging for the next installment. Where else do you see an entire audience stay in their seats through all the credits just to see a clip that will inevitably wind up on youtube the next day? It was revolutionary and changed the game.

So what did I like?

Robert Downey Jr. 

I became an instant fan when I saw this movie. He was hilarious and believable in the part. The guy obviously had a great number of films before this and it encouraged me to go back and watch movies like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Zodiac (I also completely forgot he was in the underrated gem, Bowfinger).

Terrence Howard

Talk about shitty luck, huh? Howard played the original Colonel James “Rhodey” Rhodes (aka War Machine) who was later replaced with actor Don Cheadle. It’s not clear why he didn’t return, but it had something to do with a contract dispute. I thought Howard and Downey Jr. played well off of each other and was looking forward to seeing him in the sequels. No disrespect to the Cheadle.

The Plot

I really loved how self-contained the story was. At the time I guess it wasn’t really that important, but now that we live in a world where there are already three Avengers films out with a fourth on the way, it’s nice to look back at a time when the only hero in town was Iron Man. Now any time a Marvel movie comes out and it’s a stand alone film, I always wonder where the hell everyone else is and why they can’t help out.

19 more MCU films have been released since 2008, yet unsurprisingly, Iron Man still remains one of my favorite Marvel films. It’s been cool to see the evolution of the character over the past decade and I am just praying to god he doesn’t meet his demise in Avengers: Endgame.

Final Verdict: 9.0 out of 10

On that note, I leave you with this gem. RIP Obadiah.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind

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There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable bloggers, see if they could become something more. See if they could work together when we needed them to rewatch every move in the MCU and prepare the world for Avengers: Endgame.

Well thats what we’ve decided to do ladies and gentlemen. It’s cold, the sun sets at 3 o’clock and we all obsess over these movies anyways so The 300s staff will be tackling the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe. We’ll be rewatching and blogging a refresher and a review of each movie all the way from Iron Man (2008) up to Captain Marvel (2019) ahead of Avengers 4, which drops on April 26th, 2019. We’ll be dropping one blog a week for every movie in the MCU and recording a podcast recapping each of the three Phase. By the end of it you’ll have either deleted my number from your phone or you’ll be salivating at the very thought of Avengers 4. We’re in the Endgame now…

Our first blog in The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind series drops tomorrow as Papa Giorgio reviews where this whole journey all began with Iron Man.

The Avengers: Endgame Trailer Has Finally Arrived and We’re Breaking It Down

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The Avengers: Endgame trailer just dropped and in the words of my friend Pikachu:

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First off, I need to address that aside from the trailer, we finally got a title reveal. ENDGAME. Short, sweet, and to the point. I like it. After 11 years in this wonderfully constructed cinematic universe, we are at the end of this current iteration of the story. Now we all know this is not the actual end of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Hell, they already announced Spider-Man: Far From Home which is interesting considering where we last left our friendly neighborhood spider. This is a turning point in the road, where we may actually see some of our favorite heroes meet their demise. Some serious shit is about to go down. SPOILERS FROM HERE ON SO BE WARNED.

So when we last left our heroes in Infinity War, half of the universe was completely dusted. A bunch of our Avengers disappeared in front of our eyes and we were left with what pretty much resembled the original Avengers lineup, and there is absolutely zero chance that wasn’t done on purpose. We’re back to where we started and in the words of George Lucas, “It’s like poetry, they rhyme.”

We were also left with a lot of questions. Where the hell is Hawkeye? Is Ant-man still stuck in the quantum realm? Is Pepper pregnant? Oh, the humanity!

Luckily, we have our brand spanking new Avengers trailer to help answer some of those questions.

I think I can speak for most when I say, holy shit. I know this trailer doesn’t give away too much, but it does set us up perfectly for what’s to come. Sure, there’s no hint at what the actual plot is, but a friend of the blog put it as “Well, we’re all going to see it anyway, let’s just use it to hype us up.” Solid advice from a solid individual.

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So we start with a stranded Tony Stark in space. The chaos perceived after the Thanos snap is awesome. None of our heroes seem to have tabs on where the heck anyone is, and who is actually still standing which is great for the tension in the beginning of the film. So how will Iron Man find his way out of this one? Well, we pretty much have one option I can think of off the top of my head. Captain Marvel.

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I feel ya, Cap.

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Next up, we have the Incredible Hu….Bruce Banner going over what seems to be images of the people the Avengers think to have hit the old dusty trail. Here’s hoping in Endgame that Bruce takes some of Michael’s Secret Stuff from Space Jam and figures out how to Hulk out again.*

*He will, duh.

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Nebula! Kind of forgot you were still alive!

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Now this is where things start picking up. Who’s our new assassin friend?

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By Golly! It’s our old pal Hawkeye! Way to make an appearance!

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Title card. Yeah, i’m pretty damn excited for this thing now.

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And finally, we get the return of Scott Lang. So many questions. How did you get here Scott??? I guess we’ll all have to collectively wait and see April 26th.

TWO NEW MARVEL TRAILERS DROPPING THIS WEEK – including Avengers 4!

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Marvel nerds like yours truly are in for a real treat this week, as it was announced we’ll get TWO brand-new trailers over the next couple of days – starting with the second teaser for Captain Marvel on Monday night!

Back in September, we brought you the first CM trailer and there was a lot to like from the brief footage we got. For a story and character who does not have much of a mainstream following at all, we’ll hopefully get a better glimpse into Carol Danvers’ background and how it connects to the MCU overall. We already know she’s a force to be reckoned with and that Nick Fury has a lot to do with her story, but that’s about it right now. I need more, Marvel! Especially considering I still have to wait a little over three months to see it.

As mentioned in the tweet above, the second Captain Marvel trailer is set to drop tonight on Monday Night Football.

But even more exciting is the news that we are also going to get what we’ve all been waiting for: the first look at the still untitled Avengers 4 film! The first-ever teaser trailer – or promotional material of any kind so far, really – for the much anticipated finale to last year’s Avengers: Infinity War is expected to be released on Wednesday morning, with many speculating it will air on ABC’s Good Morning America.

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Yes, FINALLY! I know! Took ’em long enough!

BUT, do be sure to temper your expectations a bit. We’re not going to find out what happened to our beloved heroes that turned to dust at the end of the last film (I’m not even gonna say SPOILER ALERT here, because…come on, seriously?). We’re also probably not going to find out wherever the hell Thanos was at the end of the movie (even though some tried and true Marvel fans out there think it might be a place called “Soulworld,” which I will fully admit I am certainly no expert on.)

Maybe, however, we will get some intimations about some of the other burning questions we all had after leaving the theater last summer. Is Gamora alive? Does Hawkeye decide to make one more comeback? What actually happened to Vision? And, last but not least, will Bruce finally get his shit together and learn how to control himself (and the Giant Green Guy) once again?

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What the hell’s going on with you, doc?

I guess we’re about to find out, and there’s always a chance we could get a quick 30-second cut of B.S. But either way, I’m super amped and just wanted to make sure all my fellow Marvel heads have their eyes peeled this week. Happy Monday indeed!

The Grinch is Going With an All Out Bizarre Marketing Campaign and I Am Here for It

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I don’t quite know what the hell is going on here, but I am all in on it. Kudos to Illumination, the company behind the movie, for having the creativity to market to people completely outside their target demo using the NBA. Rather than just run cheeky ads geared towards young kids and parents like the Jim Carrey Grinch did once upon a time, they went the complete opposite direction here.

Pretty much anyone that advertises with the NBA does well because basketball players are the most self aware and marketable athletes in any league. The NBA dominates social media and fan engagement, has dove headfirst into e-sports and gambling, and is the most socially aware league so it’s no wonder the NBA is the most popular sport to anyone under the age of 30.