Category: NBA

Knee Jerk Reactions to the Celtics Atrocity in Toronto

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Image result for team america vomit gif

That pretty much sums it up. God, what an atrocity. I figured that after a Bucks game that we were one blown call away from winning and a disaster in Chicago we’d be able to bounce back and at least compete in Toronto, but boy was I wrong. What is it with this team and second quarters? I didn’t see a single positive out of this team, and am left questioning if this team even has enough to make it through the first round of the playoffs, let alone make a deep run.

Can you imagine what that postgame locker room and subsequent flight back to Boston were like?

As for knee jerk reactions, here’s what I saw. I saw a team that completely and utterly lacks the heart, focus and energy needed to compete at the highest levels. I saw players dropping easy passes, not getting back on defense, pointing fingers, yelling at each other, forgetting how to run a fast break, not knowing who to guard, and making every possible middle school mistake you can think of. It was disgusting. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t expect the Celtics to win this game, but I thought they’d show up.

Related imageBrad Stevens watching the other team go on a run and wondering if he should call a timeout.

Image result for well were waiting gifLiterally every Celtics fan watching opponents go on 12-0 runs while Brad wonders if he should call a timeout.

Now, I stand by everything I said about Kyrie last week. I’m sick of the drama surrounding him, not that it’s all his fault. However, I don’t blame him for all of our troubles in the least. The struggles this Celtics team have been going through are on everyone’s shoulders, and that’s reflected in the box score. Smart was -25, Morris -24, Horford -16, Brown -13, Rozier -11, Irving -10, and Tatum -8. Kyrie usually has no problem taking things into his own hands, but it seemed like he didn’t even try. This may be a result of good defense from Toronto, but the killer instinct he usually has was nowhere to be found. He only had SEVEN POINTS on ten shots. How does that happen? I understand this game meant more to the psyche’s of the Boston fan base than to the actual playoff picture, but still. That can’t happen.

On the plus side, this happened.

Danny needs to sign a big man and bring in some much needed toughness, as well as challenge these guys to earn their minutes. Brad needs to make changes to the rotation stat. Bench some people. Theis is trash and shouldn’t see the court. One of the Marcus’ should come off the bench. Shorten the leashes and pull anyone who isn’t making shots or hustling back on defense. For the love of god, change it up. The rotations are lazy, the play calling predictable, and the defense lethargic. Now excuse me while I go finish ralphing all over my shoes.

Doc Rivers Grabbed the Mic to Honor Dirk Nowitzki Mid-Game, Shows the Difference Between LA and Boston in 10 Seconds

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As any NBA fan knows, first ballot HOFer in waiting Dirk Nowitzki is playing what is almost definitely his final season. The guy has been one of the greatest scorers in NBA history with an absolutely unstoppable patented fadeaway:

Dirk’s legacy is something my good friend Mark Cuban and I talked about at length when we ran into each other my first time in Vegas.

While Dirk hasn’t officially announced his retirement, most fans expect this to be his last go round. So last night with time winding down in a game between the Mavs and the Clippers, Doc Rivers literally called a timeout, grabbed the PA mic, and told Clippers fans to get up and give Dirk a standing ovation.

Awesome gesture, and I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything like it….BUT, it just goes to show the difference between LA and Boston.

In LA, the coach literally had to stop the game and tell his fans to honor a legend because it would be embarrassing if they didn’t.

Boston?

Reminds of the old days when even Kobe Bryant was wildly cheered in his final games in Boston. Kobe was the first athlete I went from hating to begrudgingly respecting to flat out liking. The same became true of A-Rod years later. So even if we hate your ass, Boston is still the greatest sports city in the world.

This Ja Rule Halftime Show is Laugh Out Loud Funny. Whats Not Funny Though is Ja’s Acting Chops

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Growing up as a kid in the late 90s-early 00s, I’ve always liked Ja Rule. Despite his infamous beefs with 50 Cent and Eminem, I’ve always enjoyed his music. But even on top of that he just seems like a funny, self aware dude.

In addition to his music though he was an absolute staple in great bad movies on HBO for basically my entire youth. He’s been in some absolutely god awful “awesomely bad” movies like Half Past Dead,

Half Past Dead is so disrespected that you can literally find the entire movie on YouTube 3 times in the first page of search results. YouTube don’t even care, pirate away.

Assault on Precinct 13,

and thats before we even get into his award winning role in the original Fast and the Furious.

So Jeffrey Atkins just seems like a chill dude who knows he’s got a sweet deal singing about Ashanti and still touring with her all these years later. Now, he comes off as a complete moron in the Fyre Festival documentary, but hey a lot of people got conned by that sociopath Billy McFarland.

The absolute disrespect by Giannis though has got to hurt Ja a little bit. Giannis is trying to win MVP and put Milwaukee on the map, he don’t have time to listen to I’m Real for the 1,000th time. But, he grew up in Greece and may not be as familiar with Ja’s work so I’ll allow it.

If Zion Williamson Was Wearing Starburys This Injury Would Have Never Happened

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CNN – Nike is playing damage control after Duke basketball phenom Zion Williamson tore his sneaker in a game Wednesday evening. Nike’s (NKE) stock was down more than 1% on Thursday. Nike builds its reputation around creating premier shoes and clothes for athletes, but that image took a hit with Williamson’s sneaker snafu.

I’m pretty sure I could hear Phil Knight pounding his fist on his desk all the way in Oregon when this happened the other night. Obviously Zion is not your typical consumer, but having your shoes explode on national TV injuring the guy NBA teams are blatantly tanking just for a chance to draft is a bad look.

Nike’s stock has fallen after the paper mâché shoe fell apart in front of the country. Makes you wonder, whatever happened to good, quality basketball sneakers? I’m not talking about that low top bullshit that Kobe nearly broke his ankle in either. No I’m talking about the GOAT basketball shoe; the Starbury.

The greatest shoe of all time, made by one of the wildest dudes in the history of the NBA in Stephon Marbury. All for the low, low price of $14.98. As a broke as college kid I appreciated the Starburys. Unfortunately I could never find my size in AJ Wright. Sigh. Even eBay hates us 5’8″ dudes. Stephon my man, hook me up with a size 10! I respect what Steph was trying to do though. A revolutionary if you ask me. If only Zion had the same pair of kicks we wouldn’t be talking about a knee injury, we’d be talking about the most dominant college basketball player in the country in a pair of shoes cheaper than a 30 rack of Natty Lite.

Does Kyrie Realize He’s Only 26 Years Old?

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ESPN – “It’s been a trying year for us,” Irving told Nichols. “We basically have a bunch of young men in our locker room who feel like they’re capable of doing a lot more than they’re doing. And that’s OK, but there’s a maturing that you have to have. There’s a professionalism that you have to showcase every single day, and that’s what the great ones do.

“I initially didn’t play the minutes I wanted to play. I’m 26 years old, heading into my prime, like, why do I have to wait for anybody? [Terry Rozier] played in the playoffs. He did extremely well. Coming back, that’s a natural competition that me and him have.

“It is what it is. No one wants to say it, but I will. You know, [Jaylen Brown, Jayson Tatum], all these guys, it’s part of their growth. When you have winning in mind, you’ve gotta understand that. You gotta do what it takes, but you gotta understand your teammates.”

I fully understand I’m probably just listening to too much talk radio, but the quotes that have come out of this Kyrie Rachel Nichols interview where he’s constantly referring to the “young men” on the Celtics is becoming a bit much for me.

Kyrie is 26.

He’d be on the same high school varsity team with a lot of these dudes. Terry Rozier is 24, Jaylen Brown is 22. Tatum is a bit younger at 20, but the point remains. I was a moron at 26 and I cringe at the idea of talking down to slightly younger co-workers. Maybe its because as a millennial I am hyper aware of that disrespect from older bosses and baby boomers who can’t open a PDF.

I think Kyrie just needs to practice a bit more self awareness. You’re not that much older than these “young guys” that you are constantly shitting on in interviews. Jaylen Brown was just named the Vice President of the NBA Players Association for crying out loud. Maybe its not a maturity issue with the slightly younger players on the Celtics roster?

I Know What the NBA All Star Game is Missing

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I’ve had a few days to process the NBA All-Star Game now and I’m honestly amazed I made it through 75% of the game. Damn, that shit is boring. Nobody plays defense, people jog back and forth, and just chuck 3s. Every now and then there’s a nice dunk or alleyoop and Chuck or Kenny Smith says something stupid (pull!), but that’s about all the entertainment there is. There’s honestly less than 5 plays worth seeing, and you can catch those highlights online. To save you some time, here are the only two dunks worth seeing:

Luckily, I know how to fix the game. Make the ASG a real live game of NBA Jam. Limit the number of players on the court to two per side, subbing out every two minutes, make everyone wear flame retardant gloves, and any time someone makes 2 shots in a row light the ball on fire and have at it….

But seriously, it’s time to update the ASG. Adding the draft last year was a good start, but they need to go further. And I think they can do that by taking a cue from NBA Jam. Obviously I don’t mean the part about fire, but remember how every now and then a star would appear on the floor with a number and it would be worth that many points? That’s what I mean. 

Here’s how I would do it: you have 3-4 marked circles on each end of the court, and they randomly light up with a number inside. Each time that number is different. I’d maybe only do it on 15-20% of possessions, but I think that would be enough to add some excitement and keep the players on their toes. 

The game is already an arcade game as it is, why not take it a step further? 500 points in a game would be hilarious. It wouldn’t need to be every time down the court, but if they did it infrequently enough that players would all of a sudden kick the ball out to a spot from way behind the arc, that could add some excitement to the game. It would also force the game to be close, and maybe you do actually see people trying to play defense on those shots. It’s already a chuck-fest, why not make those shots worth more points? Plus, this would open up the floor for even more dunks. Not only that, but there have been murmurs of the NBA considering a 4 point shot, and although I think that would be moronic, it would give them a grounds to test it out. Yo Adam Silver, let’s get it done!

#RushHourRap – J. Cole – NBA All-Star Game Halftime Show

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If you’re a frequent reader of #RushHourRap then you know I am a J. Cole stan. Ever since I first heard The Warm Up mixtape in 2009. J. Cole has always been one of the best live performers in the game. I’ve seen him live multiple times from small venues like the Paradise in Boston where I saw him for $1 to watching him at the Garden where he performed his entire show sitting on a stool. And every time Jermaine brings it. Every damn day. He did just that last night in the place I least expected it; the NBA All-Star game.

Performing in his throwback Hornets starter jacket just a few miles from his hometown, J. Cole played for over 10 minutes straight with maybe 2 or 3 breaths taken the entire time. He didn’t show up and just play some of the hits and the hooks, he rapped some of his best stuff showcasing his lyrical ability to a bunch of people who probably weren’t expecting it. He legitimately killed it at an event best known for partying, mediocre dunk contests, tampering player recruitment, and the absence of defense.

Even LeBron had to stop and watch the show.

Have a weekend J. Cole. First it was helping out Dennis Smith, then nearly showing up every scrub in the NBA dunk contest to now putting on the best halftime show I’ve seen in a long time.

Have You Ever Messed Up One Thing at Work So Bad That They Fired You?

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ESPN – The New Orleans Pelicans fired general manager Dell Demps on Friday, clearing the way for a new top basketball executive to oversee the Anthony Davis trade talks, league sources told ESPN.

This is laugh out loud funny, ridiculous, and just plain sad all at once. Dell Demps screwed the pooch SO bad on trading Anthony Davis that the Pelicans used this one catastrophe to straight up can their GM. Scouting, personnel, all those important decisions now have to be handed to one person because of the handling of one player. #Sports man, they are wild.

When it all gets boiled down, I think this really has to do with the fact that, supposedly, the talks with the Lakers fell apart because of how petty Demps was. I guess he got pissed the Lakers publicized/leaked everything and just for that tanked trade talks with them. You cannnnn’t really do that when the future of your franchise is at stake. Just a big fat no bueno. And now Dell Demps has a big fat no jobo.

I like to teach lessons when I can. Leave some wisdom for the next generation to pick up. So I say to those youngsters out there who want to go into sports management, the key to be successful is to not fuck up the most colossal deal you’ll ever see. It will indeed hurt your career.

-Joey B.

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver is Part Steve Jobs, Part Wizard

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This digital jersey witchcraft comes just a couple of days after ESPN reported how badly the NFL has been trying to convince him to sack Roger Goodell and become commissioner of the NFL.

Just look at the growth of the NBA under Silver:

“League revenues have increased from $4.8 billion to a projected $9.1 billion in Silver’s five years.”

and the growth of individual teams as well:

“Team valuations have increased by 267 percent, from an average of $509 million in 2013 to $1.9 billion in the latest Forbes Magazine valuations.”

The NBA has become the most popular sport in the world for anyone under the age of 25 and its not even close. The NBA and Fortnite are what kids care about and not necessarily in that order. I went to a youth basketball game last night and the effect is real:

A lot of that credit has to go to Adam Silver. Sure players not having to wear helmets that hide their face helps, but he’s made the NBA the most marketing friendly sport we’ve ever seen. It routinely embraces cultural trends, technology, and social media, and he’s had the NBA at the head of the line for two of the biggest opportunities in America: esports and legalized gambling.

I’m calling it right now. As the most progressive league in professional sports, the NBA will be the one to partner with the first national marketing campaign for recreational cannabis. Oh the NFL banned a marijuana commercial? Well Adam Silver will use that opportunity to make anyone even associated with the league even more money.

Just patently absurd how good this man is at his job and he ain’t resting. I still hate the advertising patches on jerseys and expect it to only get more distracting, but hey money talks.

The Greatest Trick the Devil Ever Pulled Was Convincing the World He Didn’t Tamper With Every Young Player in the NBA

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ESPN – Philadelphia 76ers general manager Elton Brand called Los Angeles Lakers president of basketball operations Magic Johnson on Monday afternoon to apologize for insinuating in a radio interview that the Lakers had called — unprompted — to ask permission for Johnson to speak with Sixers forward Ben Simmons, league sources told ESPN.

In the interview with 97.5 The Fanatic on Monday morning, Brand said, “[Lakers GM] Rob Pelinka called me and said that Ben wanted to talk to Hall of Famers after the season; Magic was on the list. He asked for authorization … I said no.”

Brand did not mention in that interview that someone from the Sixers, at the urging of both of Simmons’ brothers, had contacted Pelinka first, which is what prompted Pelinka’s call to Brand.

Granted I’m a 90s kid so I never grew up watching Magic Johnson, but I just don’t see the same aura around him that someone 10 or 15 years older than me might. With that being said, I am constantly in awe of how this guy just gets people falling all over themselves to kiss his ass.

I have a developing theory that Magic is in fact the Keyser Soze of the NBA.

He tampers with their kids, he tampers with their wives, he tampers with their parents and their parents’ friends. He burns down the houses they live in and the stores they work in, he tampers with people that owe them money. And like that he was gone. Underground. Nobody has ever seen him since. He becomes a myth, a spook story that NBA GMs tell their kids at night.

Did you know that you can’t find a single clip of his old Magic 8 Ball segment on ESPN? The one where he struggled to speak complete coherent sentences, yet is now the President of the Lakers? Yea well they’ve all been scrubbed from the internet.

Okay so just a quick recap for anyone that is a little out of the loop. Ben Simmons is a player that LeBron James has publicly coveted for a long time and after Simmons signed with LeBron’s Rich Paul’s agency Klutch Sports, many thought LeBron was headed for Philly. Obviously that didn’t happen as LeBron went to LA, but the two now share the same agent.

LeBron and Magic proceeded to tamper with other young big name players like Anthony Davis, also a Rich Paul client, with rumors and leaks and very public trade requests. AD didn’t get moved as the Pelicans hold out hope for the holy shit mega deluxe package from Danny Ainge and the Celtics.

Now most recently, Sixers GM Elton Brand came out and said the Lakers asked to speak to Ben Simmons, which obviously set off massive tampering alarms right? Well not really as the league has seemingly turned a blind eye to Magic Johnson in the same way everyone in Boston used to adoringly say oh thats just Manny Being Manny every time Manny Ramirez did something moronic.

NBA spokesman Mike Bass told ESPN on Monday, “The league office is looking into whether any contact took place between Ben Simmons and the Los Angeles Lakers that violated NBA rules.”

Brand told ESPN earlier Monday that Simmons simply wanted the Sixers to help him facilitate “chatting with some of the game’s all-time greats.”

So a little bit more context to that story came out today. Allegedly Ben Simmons wanted to have a meeting with his (and LeBron’s) agent and Magic Johnson, the President of Basketball Operations for the Lakers (whom LeBron plays for) to just chat about basketball. All of this with everyone in the world knowing that LeBron has pined after Simmons, Simmons signed with the same agent and lifelong friend of LeBron, and now they all want to have a meeting with Magic Johnson, who has repeatedly gotten into dubious situations regarding tampering.

Got all that?

Well if you’re the Sixers GM you’re probably pretty pissed off about the whole thing right? Well you’d be wrong because today HE apologized to Magic Johnson for the whole situation.

I don’t get it. This is how the Lakers routinely wind up with the best players in the league despite offering nothing but nice weather and poor management. Magic has got guys apologizing to him after trying to steal their players. Got it.