Quick Hits and Key Takeaways from the Patriots 2019 Draft Class

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Per usual, Bill Belichick, Nick Caserio, Josh McDaniels, and the rest of the Patriots thinking heads were well-prepared and executed a near flawless plan at the NFL draft.

The team right away addressed what many believed to be their biggest need by selecting wide receiver N’Keal Harry in the first round on Thursday night. (A move I’ve already wholeheartedly endorsed.) Then, the team went on to select nine more guys throughout the final six rounds on Friday and Saturday, which does not even include the handful of undrafted guys they signed over the the weekend as well.

Basically, after a pretty quiet foray into the free-agent market, the team instead decided to use its abundance of draft capital this year to reload and retool at some of the most important positions on the roster. As always, there were also a few surprises as well.

Rather than break down each of the team’s selections from this past weekend, instead here are a few important takeaways and general thoughts for the Pats now that things have officially wrapped up down in Nashville:

The G.O.A.T.’s Successor?

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With their seventh selection, the Patriots drafted former Auburn quarterback Jarrett Stidham in the fourth round at No. 133 overall.

The seventh QB drafted in 2019, Stidham is a guy who actually might’ve gone higher had he been able to enter the draft last year. Coming out of high school as a top-50 national recruit, Stidham had a phenomenal season as a true freshman for the Bears in 2015, with a 199.0 rating (!!!) and a 12-to-2 TD-to-INT ratio in just 10 games. However, due the sexual assault scandal engulfing the school at the time, he decided to take a year off and transfer to Auburn, where he served as the Tigers’ starter for each of the past two seasons.

At first glance, his overall stat line looks almost identical across his two seasons at Auburn:

  • 2017: 246/370; 18 TDs; 6 INTs
  • 2018: 224/369; 18 TDs; 5 INTs

But playing QB is about more than just touchdowns and interceptions. And a deeper dive into both the numbers and the tape shows a guy who looked like he regressed a bit in 2018, no longer demonstrating the fearless confidence he displayed while leading the Tigers to 10 wins (including a huge one over Alabama) just the year before. Both his completion percentage and passing yardage saw a significant drop-off this past season, and it just seemed like he wasn’t the same guy. To be fair, he did lose some solid surrounding talent from 2017 (running back Kerryon Johnson; guard Braden Smith) and played behind a bad O-line. Also, it’s not like he completely fell off the map.

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The kid has shown the ability to step up in big moments.

Overall, Stidham is said to be a real smart kid who has a good release and can make all the throws. He even has some ability to take off and run when necessary, too. To be honest, he sounds a lot like Jimmy Garoppolo, and maybe he can become what Jimmy G was supposed to be once Brady ultimately retires (whenever the hell that will be)…or he’ll get traded away for a second- or third-round pick in three years. Either way, he’s got plenty of time to learn and relocate some of the talent that once made him one of the nation’s top QBs. Even though I wanted Will Grier, I’m not at all upset with Stidham.

Sony Gets Some Competition

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With so many other holes on offense, many were surprised to see the team draft Alabama running back Damien Harris with the 24th pick in the third round. Even if the Pats wanted to add more depth at the position (which is never a bad thing for any team to do), why did they need to use such a high selection in order to do so? After all, they spent a first-rounder on Sony Michel just last year, and he rewarded them with an excellent rookie season. James White, the team’s leading pass-catcher in 2018, is also still here, as is Rex Burkhead. AND the team also brought back Brandon Bolden this offseason.

So what gives?

To be entirely honest, I believe this one was all about value, as there was a time when Harris was actually thought to be the top running back in the class – yes, even ahead of his teammate Josh Jacobs, who went No. 24 overall to the Raiders in the first round on Thursday night.

Even though he had to constantly fight off other all-world running back talent throughout his time with the Crimson Tide, Harris still compiled over 1,000 total yards in each of the past three seasons, averaging over seven yards per carry in two of them. So, even with other NFL-caliber players fighting for playing time, Harris was still always one of Nick Saban’s most trusted and reliable guys. Short and stout (5’10”, 216 pounds), he also had 11 rushing scores for ‘Bama in 2017 and can serve as another goal-line stud for the Pats.

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With Harris being such a huge favorite of Saban’s, I bet that’s all Belichick really needed to hear.

So, yes, maybe it was a bit of a luxury pick, but with White being a glorified receiver as well as durability concerns with both Michel and Burkhead, it actually makes a lot of sense. I was pleasantly surprised with this one, and I think the rest of Pats Nation will soon be as well.

Chase Winovich Might Already Be My New Favorite Player

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Aside from the fact he’s a ferocious defender who compiled 18.5 sacks and 43 tackles for a loss over the past three seasons at one of the nation’s top schools, this dude is quite the character as well.

Heading into the draft, NFL Network’s Good Morning Football dubbed Winovich as the “draft’s greatest personality,” and there’s no doubt that he is an absolute gem in front of the camera. With wittiness and charm for days, along with some EPIC lettuce (just look at those golden locks), this dude could serve as the foil to the typically humdrum, boring Patriots locker rooms we all felt doomed to endure once again with Gronk now gone. This guy is going to be a blast.

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Winovich has a flow that would make even Clay Matthews blush.

However, when it really comes down to it, he’s still all about business. Though now-former Michigan teammates Rashan Gary and Devin Bush went two rounds ahead of him, there are many who actually regarded Winovich as the Wolverines’ true heart and soul over the past few years, with the numbers to back it up. His relentless motor and elite pass-rushing skills will be very welcomed in Foxborough. And he’s also a very charitable guy off the field as well.

Just like they did with Harris, it seems like the Pats stole yet another stud in Round 3.

Not One Tight End Taken

I’ll admit, I was really surprised the team did not take even one tight end through seven rounds this weekend. While I wasn’t expecting them to trade up and get someone like T.J. Hockenson or Noah Fant, I thought that maybe they’d try to take someone like a Jace Sternberger, Irv Smith, or Dawson Knox on Day 2.

But nope. The team did not draft one player at the tight end position.

It seems as though they’re prepared to roll with Austin Seferian-Jenkins and a jumbled group of mediocre guys to start the year, instead hoping that the running game and some added talent at receiver can carry them through. Do I think it was a fatal mistake? No. But it would have been nice to add something here, especially with the amount of picks they had at their disposal.

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Looks like it’s your time to shine, ASJ!

A few other quick notes:

  • A lot of people seem to be excited about the team’s second-round pick, Joejuan Williams, whom the team traded up to snag in Round 2. Williams is a BIG (6’4″, 211 pounds), deceptively fast defensive back who can play both corner and safety. Much like Patrick Chung, he can be used to cover the bigger and more physical opposing pass-catchers, serving in the hybrid DB/LB role we’ve seen become more popular throughout the league in recent years. Williams is certainly not the most athletic guy in the world, but he could become a force in the secondary.

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  • I already mentioned how the Pats got two third-round steals in both Winovich and Harris, but truthfully they may have actually had another. With the second-to-last pick in the round, the team took West Virginia offensive tackle Yodny Cajuste, who at one point was being talked about as a first-round pick. Were it not for a history of injuries, he truly could’ve been one of the first O-lineman off the board.
  • It was very interesting to see the team take punter Jake Bailey in the fifth round, especially after Ryan Allen’s phenomenal performance in the Super Bowl. (That might sound a bit over the top, but Allen honestly was one of the team’s most important players in that game.) However, Bailey was perennially one of the nation’s top punters during his time at Stanford, and Belichick is never afraid to add a little competition. On a one-year deal which would leave just $100,000 in dead money were he to be cut, Allen will need to be on his toes (no pun intended) this training camp.

Overall, I am very pleased with how things went for the Pats this weekend. And with most of the big offseason events now out of the way, we can finally look ahead to OTAs and training camp!

Friday Pondering: What is Most Likely to Kill Red?

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What you may know, as I believe I’ve blogged about it at least once, is that despite his fairly impressive culinary skills, particularly those centered around a grill, Red’s favorite food on earth is Chipotle. Loves the stuff. Burritos, bowls, everything, it doesn’t matter. He inhales it like the air he breathes. So it did not surprise me one bit when I got a text from him yesterday stating two things:

1.) Chipotle had been ISSUED A SUBPOENA (Legal document stating either a.) You’re in trouble come here now or b.) Dude what the fuck?) for making poisonous-ass food and that two
2.) This would not deter him in the slightest from continuing to ingest the toxic Mexi-merican cuisine he has become so ravenous for.

And like a lot of things most well adjusted human brains simply move on from, this got me thinking: for one of the more low-key members of our tribe, Red has a number of sneakily-dangerous habits, hobbies, and ventures. Put them altogether, the odds of him making it to the night of his nuptials are actually quite bad. So what will be the thing that sends Red to his eternal resting place? Hmmm……

Things That Definitely Will Not Kill Red

Las Vegas

We know this because we already returned. And believe me, Vegas tried. There was ice, fire, booze, gambling, insomnia, booze, a gin and coke, and still we all came back in one piece. No, the City of Sin was not to be Red’s final downfall

A Complete Longshot But Must be Noted

Sours

I don’t have much in the way of science or scenario here, I just know our fearless leader has developed quite a penchant for these lip puckering brews and there’s something not quite right about it. It only takes one wrong hipster pouring one wrong orange beer and that could be it. How? I dunno man. Just could.

Improbable But Definitely Possible

Another Dog/Dog Owner

Listen I fucking love dogs and I have awesome friends that have dogs but let’s face some facts, people without kids that have dogs are a fucking WACKADOODLE breed. They hold their dogs in the same regard as they would their kids. So I can totally see a scenario where Red’s dog gets a little too frisky with, like, a Shih Tzu whose owner just ended a 10 year bid in Walpole and is none too pleased that their psuedo-child has been besmirched. One tire iron later and it’s curtains. That or the dog itself isn’t a Shih Tzu but an ill-tempered Doberman that decides that the owner must pay for the dog’s misdeeds and Red gets Ramsay Bolton’d. All in all this is highly unlikely but you never know.

Definitive Possibility

Chipotle

When I was 13 I spent two weeks of the summer on Outward Bound. Basically my parents sent to stop being a pissant camp. Part of the experience was living and sleeping in the White Mountains for a week. There I learned about giardia, a parasite that makes freshwater undrinkable until you treat it with iodine. Long story boring if you drink water straight from a stream, no matter how clear and clean it looks, you are going to start shitting a lot, possibly to death. I can imagine this is what Chipotle has in store for Red, but 12 times worse. The more I think about it maybe that’s just it? Maybe it is some sort of BDSM/thrill fetish where he doesn’t know if this refried bean will be his last before he literally rides the porcelain pony straight to his grave. Pretty fucked up.

This Might Kill Red

Traffic

Ahhhh, the lifelong nemesis. Re-adressing the whole BDSM thing, Red has continuously put himself in positions where he is at war with Boston traffic of all kinds, never unleashing his fury, just quietly bottling it up and letting it simmer. At some point, every man breaks. Whether it is a road range incident he comes out on the wrong end on or a quick detour off a bridge, the poorly laid plans of our city’s streets could certainly spell Red’s doom.

There you have it. Red has constructed himself a windy road to the dog days of summer and tying the knot. Let the tightrope walk begin. Wear a helmet.

-Joey B

The 300s NFL Draft Day 2 Patriots Wishlist

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Rounds 2 and 3 of the NFL draft will take place on Friday night, and the Patriots are currently slated to pick five times across the two rounds. I highly expect the team to complete some type of trade (or two) involving those picks, per usual, but Belichick & Co. are obviously still going to be selecting a few guys at some point tonight.

Myself and Joey B already gave you our very disparate yet equally insightful takes on the team’s selection last night in Round 1, N’Keal Harry. Personally, I am a HUGE fan of the pick, and I’m glad the Pats were able to immediately help alleviate what was easily the team’s biggest need. However, there are still a few positions (TE, OT, DL, LB, QB, S) which could use some reinforcements as well.

Before things kick off again tonight at 7 p.m., here’s my quick wishlist of some potential players who I’m hoping the Pats might be able to snag on Day 2:

Dre’Mont Jones (DT, Ohio State): This is a guy who I’ve been all over for a while now. A true athlete, Jones is perfect for the 3-technique. Much like guys such as Quinnen Williams and Ed Oliver, who were both top-10 picks last night, Jones uses incredible first-step quickness and motor to push the pocket and disrupt opposing backfields. Certainly no run-stuffer, Jones would give the Pats an interior pass-rusher (8.5 sacks last season) to pair alongside Lawrence Guy and under-the-radar free-agent signing Mike Pennel. He also has the ability to chase down running backs out of the backfield as well. I think he truly could be one of the biggest steals of the draft, and he is being slept on BIG TIME by the entire league right now.

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Nasir Adderly (S, Delaware): Of the team’s top outstanding needs, I’d say that safety falls toward the bottom…for now. Let’s not forget, though, that Devin McCourty – who toyed with the idea of retirement this offseason – is 32 years old AND on the final year of his contract. Adderly is still very raw and may not have played against top competition in college, but the talent and ball skills are there, with 10 picks and 23 passes defensed over the past three seasons. He could learn how to become a true single-high, center-field stud from one of the game’s very best, and then ultimately replace him when McCourty does actually move on for good.

Jawaan Taylor (OT, Florida): I am literally shocked that this dude is still on the board. (I had him going top 10 in my mock, as did many others!) While he may not be the best pass-blocker, he is truly a mauler who can set the tone in the running game. And with the team expected to continuing relying heavily upon Sony Michel and the ground attack moving forward, Taylor is a perfect fit. And honestly, as good as Marcus Cannon was a couple years ago, I feel like he’s regressed significantly and is no longer worth his $7 million-plus salary. Taylor could allow the Pats to move on from Cannon and lock down the right side of the line for years to come. (The team will likely need to move up within the first 10 picks of Round 2 to get him, though. He’s not going to last out there for much longer.)

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Jaylon Ferguson (DE, Louisiana Tech): Joey B has already been vocal about his love for the FBS’s all-time sack leader (45), who may be falling down draft boards due to a minor altercation he got into as a freshman – which resulted in a deferred sentence, $189 fine, and no further issues since. No I wasn’t there, but it seems like what happened pales in comparison to some of the off-field concerns associated with other current and potential NFL stars lately. On the field, there should be no concern. Besides holding the aforementioned record, this is a guy who dominated in college, as 27% (!!!) of his tackles went for a loss. So almost a THIRD of his tackles prevented dudes from even getting past the line of scrimmage. Belichick could have a ton of fun shaping and molding a guy with his potential, and after losing Flowers the team could use some immediate pass-rushing help.

Will Grier (QB, West Virginia): I keep going back and forth on how high I want the Pats to draft a QB – or if I even want them to draft one at all. But with the amount of capital the team has this year, I think it totally makes sense. I already said in my mock that Grier might be the most underrated signal-caller in this class, who could truly be better than any of the guys already selected ahead of him, and apparently the Pats love him. Besides a shaky Senior Bowl performance, Grier was one of the nation’s most efficient passers, completing over 67% of his passes last season to go along with 37 TDs. He doesn’t have the biggest arm in the world, but he’s got the confidence and leadership of a lion, and word is he is absolutely adored by teammates. He’s exactly the type of presence who could step in for Brady once he’s all said and done, and he also possesses the same type of football I.Q. It would be really fun to root for this kid.

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Jace Sternberger (TE, Texas A&M): Also another one of Joey B’s guys, Sternberger is smart, can run, and catches well. Many even think he’s athletic enough to play in the slot as a receiver. He does struggle in pass protection and didn’t play in a pro-style offense, but he would give the team some more explosiveness. Already lacking in that department anyway, the Pats didn’t really gain much in that regard with the Harry pick, as good as he is. Sternberger can give the Pats a true move tight end that can help Brady stretch the field and make some big plays.

Other guys I really like: Dalton Risner (OT, Kansas State); Zach Allen (DE, Boston College); Anthony Nelson (DE/LB, Iowa); Deebo Samuel (WR, South Carolina); Lonnie Johnson (CB, Kentucky); Taylor Rapp (S, Washington); Sean Bunting (CB, Central Michigan).

(I’d also love a good sideline-to-sideline linebacker with speed, too, but there really aren’t many great ones left, or at least they really don’t stand to be a Day 2 pick.)

Tune in this evening to see if any of my wishes come true, as Day 2 of the 2019 NFL Draft continues Friday night at 7 p.m. Also, be sure to check in with The 300s all weekend long for all the best Patriots draft coverage.

The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind Presents: Phase Three

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11 years. It’s been more than a decade since Tony Stark “built this in a cave with a box of scraps.” Avengers: Endgame is officially in theaters and I’ve been hiding from Twitter for the past week, minus a few ribbings at the expense of Mr. John Tavares and the Toronto Chokealeafs. Endgame is the culmination of everything in the MCU, a definitive end for many of the characters we’ve been watching since the days of George W.

As a final installment of the The 300s Marvel Cinematic Rewind, we wanted to touch base on the films of Phase Three that we haven’t covered yet, which also now apparently ends with Spider-Man: Far From Home. (Make up your mind, Kevin Feige!) So let’s get into it.

Dr. Strange

Giorgio: To be honest, Dr. Strange did nothing for me. I love Cumberbatch, but this film to me just seemed too much of a Christopher Nolan knockoff. The film is almost a literal combination of Batman Begins and Inception. One of these was good enough for me. 5/10

Red: This movie was a trip and one I did not expect to enjoy. I punted on it for so long that I actually ended up watching it for the first time on Netflix. I have to admit though I really enjoyed it. As Kyle mentions above it pretty much is like someone threw the scripts of Batman Begins and Inception together, but I loved both of those movies so it was right up my alley. Cumberbatch is excellent as the smarmy Dr. Strange and a really solid addition to the Avengers. 7/10

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Giorgio: I liked it, but wasn’t nearly as good as the original. It was also really depressing. I’ll take as much Rocket as possible though. Bradley Cooper is an actor’s actor. 7/10

Red: I know Kyle is a bigger Guardians fan than I am, but I just could not get into GOTG2. The music as always was excellent (like the opening scene featuring Mr. Blue Sky), Rocket steals just about every scene he’s in, but I hated the “Ego is a planet” storyline and I’m a big Kurt Russell guy. But with all the aforementioned factors propping it up, this is still an entertaining flick. 7/10

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Giorgio: This movie was incredible. First Spider-Man I’ve liked since probably the original with MTV Best Kiss Winner Tobey Maguire. Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker, and the film does a great job of not taking itself too seriously. Shoutout to Michael Keaton as Vulture, essentially playing Birdman twice within the span of a few years. 8/10. Also, Aunt May 10 out of 10.

Red: Kyle described it in the best way possible; Tom Holland is a perfect Peter Parker. Michael Keaton was a kickass villain in a truly surprising twist and a legitimately frightening Vulture. Oh and Aunt May is a rocket. 9/10

Thor: Ragnarok

Giorgio: Possibly my favorite film of Phase Three. After two boring as hell solo films, Ragnarok takes a completely new approach to a stale franchise and gives it new life. It was hilarious, weird, and charming all at the same time. Tessa Thompson is a pleasure to watch on screen. Oh, and Jeff Goldblum. Horniest/smoothest man in Hollywood. 9.5/10

Red: This was one of the best comic book movies ever because it not only had top notch popcorn flick action, but it also was very self aware in how ridiculous it was (i.e. the opening scene/rock montage). Ragnarok also managed to work in Hulk perfectly without Marvel having to go out on a limb on ANOTHER Hulk standalone movie, despite how many people wanted a true Planet Hulk movie. I’ve always been partial to Thor despite it not being the strongest MCU trilogy (neither is Iron Man), but Thor 3 kicks all the asses and sets us up nicely for Infinity War, which starts minutes after Ragnarok ends. 9/10 

Black Panther

Giorgio: Had zero idea what to expect, but came out really enjoying it. Great cast, great story. Michael B. Jordan is one of the best actors currently working. Also made over a billion dollars, so no surprises how universally liked this movie is. 9/10

Red: Same as Kyle I had zero idea what to expect out of this movie. Chadwick Boseman was pretty badass in Civil War so I knew they had a shot, but Michael B. Jordan stole the goddamn show as, in my opinion, the best villain in the MCU. 8.5/10

Avengers: Infinity War

Giorgio: For a film that has about 50 main characters, they did a great job not making the plot stroke-inducing to follow. Thanos finally shows his ass after a decade of sending his minions to inevitably just do it himself. We get a great Peter Dinklage cameo, always a pleasure to see him. It was great to finally see the beginning of the end. 8/10

Red: Bravo! Bravo! One of the few movies I made sure to see opening weekend because you have about a day before Twitter eggs ruin the movie for you and about a week before Yahoo just straight up starts posting spoilers in the headlines. As Kyle said this movie did an incredible job balancing dozens and dozens of characters that you legitimately cared about as the world building of Kevin Feige really started to pay dividends. This movie could have been 4 hours long and I wouldn’t have moved an inch. 9/10

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Giorgio: Fuck this movie. 2/10

Red: Very forgettable. All I remember is the villain that can phase through walls, yet is slowly dying. Also, if we’re being  honest I’ve always disliked Evangeline Lilly for how she cucked Jack on LOST, but I admit thats not exactly fair. Paul Rudd is a treat to watch per usual and the movie introduces the Quantum Realm which I think we all expect to be one of the keys to Endgame. So decent movie, but very forgettable. 6/10

Giorgio: I….never saw this movie. Guilty as charged. I’m sure it was swell though, right? Nothing like shoehorning in a last minute character a month before the grand finale. At least I heard there’s an orange cat in it named Goose. Rating N/A

Red: Unlike Kyle, I paid 14 of my hard earned Schrute Bucks to go see this last weekend because I didn’t want to be completely lost when a Deus Ex Machina write in comes out of nowhere to save the day in Endgame. While I was less than excited going into this move (I just got a very Green Lantern vibe with the fighter pilot turned super hero with bad CGI), it wasn’t bad. Nothing great, nothing terrible. A de-aged Samuel L. Jackson (good CGI) carries the movie, but Jude Law is a great character/foil in Capt. Marvel. Some hamhanded naming conventions (Mar-Vel? Really?) and the lazy explanation for where Poochie, er I mean Captan Marvel, has been for the past 20 years leads to an OK, but highly skippable cinema experience. 6.5/10

Now I just need to make it to Sunday afternoon without someone spoiling Endgame for me. Do what I did kids, mute anything and everything related to Avengers on Twitter and stay off the news sites. We’re in the endgame now…

So Apparently 1,100 People Got Herpes at Coachella

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Ahhhh. To be young, born rich, on every drug imaginable, pretending to try and inspire people on IG, and making pow pow with anything that walks in a desert. We’ve all been there right? O wait, no? We haven’t? We haven’t all dressed up like a flower child version of the Kentucky Derby and proceeded to watch jackasses like Kanye West make supposedly church-inspired performance art? Huh, guess not.

I’m at work so unfortunately Google’ng “Coachella” and “herpes” is not an option and thus you’ll have to find the story yourself. Basically, clinics, doctors, etc. in the area have seen something like a ten-fold uptick in diagnosed cases of this particular STD. They estimate about 1,100 people picked up the gift that neeeever stops giving in one fateful weekend. Makes you wonder where that would stack up next to Woodstock, too bad no one went to doctors back then.

And here’s the thing. Maybe I’m just old. Maybe my sleep patterns or digestive system still haven’t come fully back on track since returning from a bachelor party almost an entire month ago, but fucking in a desert really does not appeal to me. Like, imagine being drunk, hot as all holy hell and sweaty, drinking a warm drink, and having another human being latch onto you. Noooo fuckin thank you. Leaaave me alone. This stopped being fun in general four hours ago and I just want to nap/trip balls again. I just don’t get it.

I also want to know who patient zero was. Was it a guy or a girl? Was it an orgy or did they bang a few people, who banged a few people, etc. etc.? Is there a dick/vag slinger out there who is terrified they are going to get hit with a class action, knowing they Posted so much Malone that they may have infected an entire valley with herpes? That is a WILD thing to have to be afraid.

In conclusion I think we can agree on one thing: Please GOD let Leo not have been one of these victims. I know he loves Coachella and I know he lays pipe with the best of them. But please let him have avoided this one.

Be safe out there,

-Joey B.

Counterpoint: The Patriots Went the Risky Route in Picking N’Keal Harry

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News-Press – Bill Belichick finally made an exception to address his aerial attack. The New England Patriots drafted Arizona State wide receiver N’Keal Harry with the No. 32 pick in Thursday’s NFL draft, marking the first time Belichick selected a player at the position in the first round since he became coach of the franchise

First and utmost the Pats got the guy Mattes wanted so hat tip to him. Good stuff.

Secondly, I don’t have any ill will toward N’Keal Harry nor am I trying to aimlessly “hate” on him. He plays for my fucking team now, I hope he goes out there and crushes it and has me on the bandwagon by Week 2. I just would have preferred AJ Brown as with Harry I have concerns. Big ones.

Since forever, NFL teams have had an affinity for big WRs. They have very good, very obvious reasons. The majority of defensive backfields have, for the most part, been made up of speedy guys that max out at 6’0″, mirroring the typical size for a receiver. It’s simple human mechanics – smaller usually means faster, to an extent. Therefore, having a 6’4 behemoth that runs like his smaller counterparts and can pivot on a dime, leaving the pigmy DB to fall over in disgrace is a gigantic advantage. In the far reaches of our lifetime, guys like Cris Carter and Keyshawn Johnson rebirthed the big WR. They were soon followed by Randy Moss and a couple of others that carried the torch that burned until 2006, when Megatron was drafted and the hunger for big WRs reached epidemic levels.

Here’s where things get murky. The reason guys like Moss worked out is because he runs like a fucking deer on top of being 6’4. He didn’t just use his size as leverage to get open. The reason we don’t see a lot of the “chain mover”-types like Keyshawn anymore is because DBs have simply caught up to their ability. It doesn’t matter how big you are nowadays, if you can’t separate from an NFL DB they are going to make your life hell.

That hasn’t stopped NFL teams though from taking fliers on big uber-productive college WRs that aren’t burners. They see size as size. And guess what? A lot of these picks don’t pan out. For every Tyler Boyd, Corey Davis, and Michael Thomas, there is a Josh Doctson, Laquon Treadwell, Devante Parker, or Breshad Perriman. The name I am afraid to even utter, and that gave me cold sweats when thinking about the Pats potentially drafting Harry, is Jaelen Strong. Strong also hailed from the A State Sun Devils wide open offense. He had striking similar measurements (6’2 220 lbs, 4.40 40) as well as stats in his last year in Tempe. He was selected in the early 3rd in 2015 by the Texans after slipping due to speed concerns. Strong amassed 330 yards and 4 TDs in three seasons before tearing his ACL in 2017 and missing last season. Yikes.

K’Neal Harry has literally the same issues as Jaelen Strong. They are both big guys who posted decent 40 times but that scouts say lack “breakaway speed.” So Harry isn’t a quintessential downfield threat, that’s no big deal right? Wrong. He also isn’t seen as having great quickness in and out of breaks or that “fast-twitch” speed scouts look for in wide receivers in order to gain separation. Basically, when face up with an NFL-caliber defensive back and not some guy from Utah who goes at 5’10 with a 4.7 40, how the hell is K’Neal Harry planning to get open? Against the league’s elite? I just don’t know.

Again, despite the amount of words I just used to tear him down, I hope the Harry-Pats relationship works out. There are just things you just can’t teach – A QB can have a huge arm but can’t hit water if he fell out of a boat, a DE could be an athletic freak but just not “mean” enough, and some of these big WRs just don’t have the quicks to get open.

Here’s to hoping I’m wrong.

-Joey B.

Brock McGinn Should Get the Key to the City After Willing the Hurricanes to Game 7 Win

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Playoff hockey really is bananas. Brock McGinn single handedly saved the Hurricanes seasons when the Caps were just bombarding them with shots. Saving your team’s season would be enough for most men, but Brock McGinn ain’t most men. He pulled a Happy Gilmore and figured why wait?

Uhh I’ll just beat em now.

Get this man the key to the city!

Patriots Draft “Baby DeAndre Hopkins” in N’Keal Harry

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Image result for n'keal harry highlights

OK. OK. So this might seem like a bit of an exaggeration, but I absolutely LOVE this pick for the Pats.

And, truthfully, it’s really not all that outlandish to compare him to the Texans’ superstar wide out. Like Hopkins, Harry has hands like Velcro and uses his big body (6’2″, 228 pounds) and excellent instincts to out-position defenders and beat them to the ball on almost every play. Harry has been the Sun Devil’s go-to receiver since he was a true freshman in 2016, compiling 213 receptions in three years in the desert to go along with over 2,200 yards and 22 TDs. The man was also a top-20 recruit coming out of high school. He has simply PRODUCED at every level he has ever played.

I had them taking Marquise Brown in my mock, because I really wanted the team to add some much-needed speed and explosiveness. And while Harry possesses nowhere near the athleticism of a guy like Brown, he is definitely a more well-rounded and dependable receiver. He will also likely hold up much better from a physical standpoint at the pro level.

But don’t get it twisted; the man can still move, too:

There are many who felt as though Harry was actually the best receiver in the entire class, and it’s not a hard argument to make. Considering the Pats got him by remaining at No. 32, all the while still holding on to the insane amount of picks they have over the next two days, it’s hard for anyone to be upset with this selection.

Of course, Belichick does not have the best track record with drafting wide receivers, and Harry is the first one he has ever drafted in the first round. But a guy this big, smart, and reliable should be able to pick things up right away. Also, his versatility and ability to line up almost anywhere will allow him to play within the Pats system. He is not just an “outside guy.”

For those that still need convincing, just take a look at this video and then try to tell me I’m wrong:

Did you see that catch at 0:32??!! Like I said: DeAndre Hopkins, eat your heart out. Welcome to New England, N’Keal Harry!

I Am Fairly Torn to be Rooting Against Mallory Edens

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CBSSports – When this season started, the Boston Celtics were a popular pick to represent the Eastern Conference in the NBA Finals. Now, it’s the Milwaukee Bucks who hold that distinction. After both swept their first-round series, Boston and Milwaukee will square off with a trip to the conference finals on the line, and what a series it should be. Game 1 is scheduled for Sunday at 1 p.m. ET. Below are some quick thoughts on things to watch for in this series.

Can we talk as friends? Cool. The lead in above ^^^ really has nothing to do with anything besides the fact that the Celtics are indeed playing the Bucks. But the Bucks have an owner. This should not matter to me in the slightest as I am indeed a lifelong Celtics fan to the extent that I cried when Paul Pierce did. But it does.

The Bucks are owned by Wes Edens, a genius hedge fund guy that very well could have been one of the inspirations for Bobby Axelrod. By all accounts he cares about winning and loves the team. They’re not just a trophy or a toy to him like some teams are to some owners.

My friends Wes Edens has a daughter, Mallory. And here is the things folks. Mallory Edens is the ultimate object of my IG affection. For all the bizarre butt models and tattooed ho-urs I follow on the ‘Gram, Mallory Edens is the one I give a tasteful smirk to whenever she posts. She’s not a slutty distraction from the work day and monotony of life that makes me question my own validity as a human being and completely disqualify myself as someones life partner; she’s a hot as hell, Princeton educated, actually pretty funny woman of class. Just a rarity in today’s world/my follows.

And now her team must be destroyed. Mangled. Disembowled. If Mook has to murder the very likeable Giannis to do so so be it. I need this NBA Championship. And if the Celtics need to annihilate the team my IG crush-Father-In-Law owns, so be it.

So Mal, can I call you Mal? If you’re reading this, maybe we were never meant to be. On second thought, definitely not. You’re a trust fund kind from Princeton who likes horses and the Caribbean. I’m a State School kid in corporate America who likes getting kicked in the head in between sessions of beers and keno. Opposites might attract. Different species generally don’t.

So here is a goodbye before a hello. Cheers to a lifetime of happiness. When the bus pulls back into Milwaukee tell them I said “say hi to your mother for me”.

Fuckin go Celtics.

-Joey B.

Public Service Annoucement: Please Do Not Try And Rob Bun B

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Yahoo – Rapper Bun B shot an armed man who broke into his Houston home, pointed a gun at his wife and tried to steal his car, according to police.

My knee-jerk, shooting from the hip (PUNS!) reaction to this story is that this is like the diner scene in “Pulp Fiction” if Jules Winnfield had decided existentialism could fuck itself and just blown Ringo’s head clear off. The would be car thief in this story, much-like Ringo in the aforementioned Tarantino classic, had no idea that he was about to take up arms against, as they say, a real one. In that sense, both low-grade scamps can almost be seen as sympathetic figures.

However like most stories your favorite blogger of the random and obscure indites these days, this one has layers, like an onion.

The first layer is the largest, and is called “this is fucking Texas”. The very second I land in Texas I assume everyone from the guy behind the counter at Whataburger to the little girl selling lemonade is strapped. The fact that this Albert McGlone-wannabe thought he was going to shove his way into a random house in Texas and steal a car unscathed is completely batshit. Robbing a home in Texas, in short, is no saner than robbing a gun store.

Secondly, you kind of have to assume he knew this was Bun B’s house. Why else would he go straight to the garage, where an Audi was parked? And assuming he knew this was Bun B, don’t you think that maybe kind of sort of he should have thought twice before trying to steal his car? I mean look, not all rappers have guns and Bun isn’t a “I got guns” kind of rapper for the most part, but in the LEAST you gotta figure a guy with his kind of money has a sick security system? I mean my MAN what the fuck was going through your head?

Lastly, and this is more about professional pride, but I feel like as a criminal if you are engaged in a shootout it’s your duty to hit your target. I WOULD NEVER want Bun B injured. But if you choose a life of crime as a career and proceed to break into a man’s home, run into his garage, hop into his car, and then engage in a a gunfight, it is in the job description you at least hit a kneecap. Is it too much to ask for competent armed robberies?

To restate the title of this #2019NFLDraft night blog: Please do not try and rob Bun B or you will be shot. Furthermore, The 300s does not condone any kind of armed robbery, even when done correctly.

-Joey B.