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Whats that saying? They don’t boo nobodies? Well thats how I’m going to take this one. YouTube commenter BuffaloMan can be the Newman to my Jerry.
I actually gave a pretty solid review of the Bills’ New Era Field, which you can see right here.
Had a great time watching the game, sight lines were excellent, stadium was intimate, fans were into it, overall a good experience.
I even met Buffalo’s prodigal son, William Fichtner!
The rest of Buffalo though?
I stopped by the Lids headquarters and I got buffalo wings from the place that invented them and that was pretty much all there was to do. Those are the facts BuffaloMan. Plus threatening my safety for joking about worrying about my safety in Buffalo is a bit ironic no? Dude has put my brain into a spin cycle. Touche, BuffaloMan, touche.
TechCrunch – Tesla is moving all of its sales online, a dramatic shift in its sales strategy that will result in the closure of stores and some layoffs as the automaker looks for ways to reduce costs in order to bring a cheaper Model 3 to market.
Tesla CEO Elon Musk didn’t say how many stores would close. He noted that some stores would remain and turn into information centers and showrooms. The company didn’t provide specific numbers on how many retail employees might be affected.
Goddamnit, I was just about to go to the mall and buy a Tesla too. In all seriousness though, have you ever actually met anyone that drives a Tesla? I see them plugged into random parking garages around town, but I’ve never actually met someone that drives one.
Come to think of it, the only place I ever really see Teslas is in those absurd showrooms in ritzy malls. Like I’m just going to be walking from Auntie Anne’s Pretzels to Lids and I’m going to stop and say ya know what, I should buy a car. Preposterous.
Just a ridiculous idea really, but I guess they are more so using the Apple model. Apple knows these gigantic showrooms cannot possibly be ROI positive, despite how expensive some of these iPhones have become. No, they’re thinking more longterm than that because they’re evil geniuses. How many kids do you see going into every Apple store playing with all the new iPhones, Apple Watches, and whatever other gadgets they put out? They’re basically just planting a seed in these kids’ brains so when they do come of age and have some disposable income they are already Apple disciples and they don’t even know why. McDonalds did that for decades with those gigantic play places.
Marketing is a trip, huh?
PS – When I was in Buffalo last year I was driving around the industrial part of town and stumbled upon the Tesla factory and it looks like the goddamn Avengers Headquarters. Just a massive building putting together technology I don’t understand in the absolute middle of nowhere.
OH BUGGY: At least some of us are enjoying this snow. Check out this Amish man SKIING behind his horse buggy! Thanks to Jenn Staggemeyer, of Waukon, for capturing and sharing this! pic.twitter.com/kG2VZrHajq
— Jalyn Souchek (@JalynSouchekTV) February 18, 2019
You ever sit at your desk during the 9-5 grind and think what the hell am I doing with my life? Well not this guy! Oh I have to ride in a buggy built in 1920 to go do Amish things while it’s a cold and icy hell outside? Welp, might as well bust out my K2s and shred some pow while I’m at it. This guy gets it. When life gives you lemons, you ski behind your horse drawn carriage.
CNN – European researchers have bad news for the 76% of Americans who experience hangovers after a drinking session: Try as you may to change up the order of your alcoholic beverages, if you drink too much, you will still be hungover.
Determined to find a way to help people have a better day after a night out, the researchers recruited 90 brave souls in Germany between the ages of 19 and 40 to drink beer, wine or both. One group drank 2½ pints of beer, followed by four large glasses of wine. The second group drank the four glasses of wine first, then the 2½ pints of beer. A third group drank only beer or only wine. Everyone was kept under medical supervision overnight..The results, published Thursday in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, show no difference in the intensity of the hangover brought on by drinking wine first followed by beer or the other way around.
Man I really missed the boat on being a scientist. Accomplish absolutely nothing at work and then get published in CNN as a reward. Long story short (and probably after a bunch of money was wasted) these scientists discovered that you can’t really prevent a hangover.
Whether you drink beer or wine, or a mixture, or even if you switch up the order it doesn’t really matter. You booze you lose. However the funniest part of this whole story was just how unhelpful the people in the study were.
“The researchers acknowledged limitations to their study. For example, they couldn’t assign a control group to drink beer or wine without alcohol, as the participants in an alcohol study were not interested in being in a non-alcoholic group“
Get drunk in the name of science? I will make that sacrifice. Try and mix in some O’Douls? Kick rocks, nerd. Come to think of it, thats probably why this study was inconclusive. When the scientists tried to test some placebos the alcoholics revolted.
Never mess with a man’s beer. Even for science.
A group of elementary school students made a mural out of Lego that changes from Tom Brady to BillBelichick when you walk from side to side.
Simply amazing 🐐 pic.twitter.com/o5v8DzVMKR
— Patriots Militia (@PatsMilitia) January 15, 2019
Lets just point out that this was in fact made by children. This magnificent magic eye mural of LEGO artwork was made by small humans. To put that into context, I did a 100 piece Snoopy puzzle on Christmas with the family and I almost flipped the table in blind rage nine times. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHICH BLUE SKY PIECE GOES WHERE??
Well done, children. Well done.
CBS News – A Boston city ordinance banning major grocery store chains from providing plastic bags to customers went into effect Friday. The new law – enacted to help reduce pollution and clean up city streets – applies only to checkout bags, described in the ordinance as carryout bags with handles. Retailers can still stock recyclable paper bags, compostable bags or reusable bags and sell them for at least 5 cents, as long as the charge is advertised near the checkout location, according to the ordinance, signed into law by Mayor Marty Walsh last December.
I bring my lunch to work every day in a repurposed Stop and Shop plastic bag because I’m a man of the people. I’m also not 5 so I don’t own a lunch box. However, today I had a very, very sobering realization. Finished making my lunch, got all the essentials, I reach under the sink and realized I am running *dangerously* low on plastic bags. Like we are at DEFCON 1. The Mrs. has already transitioned our grocery shopping over to the reusable satchels that Big Grocery has been trying to force down our throats for years so there are no new plastic bags coming into my household any more.
What is a man to do?
Do I cave and buy an Avengers lunchbox like a child? Do I just haul my Yeti cooler around like I’m heading to lay some concrete at the construction site?
I am a man at a crossroads in his life.
Come to think of it, I did buy one of the reusable grocery satchels years ago, but it’s a Super Mario one because I really am an overgrown manchild. Might be a bit aggressive for carrying my lunch around though…
Spoke with Joe Rogan Podcast coming soon🔥🔥🔥
— ye (@kanyewest) January 1, 2019
Joe Rogan has one of the most popular podcasts in the world and interviews everyone from his comedian buddies to UFC stars, astrophysicists, psychologists, and even self proclaimed UFO and alien life experts like Tom Delonge. Rogan is an excellent interviewer as he knows when to jump in and stir some shit up, but he also knows when to sit back and just let the guest go.
Not long ago Kanye West was tweeting up a storm after he took a ton of flak for his bizarre appearance alongside Donald Trump in the White House. Shit, even Trump looked nervous wondering if the whole thing was about to go off the rails.
Kanye was flummoxed at the overwhelmingly negative response his appearance got and legitimately seemed desperate for a way to make people “understand” him, which is what you see from a lot of creative types when they hit a crossroads.
I’ve been trying to do a serious interview speaking on mental health but it seems as though all members of press are afraid to speak to someone who has been diagnosed but is still everyone’s favorite super hero
— ye (@kanyewest) December 15, 2018
People said my career was over after TMZ I need to show the world that we so called crazy people will not be just written off
— ye (@kanyewest) December 15, 2018
Kanye is saying nobody wants to actually listen to him and would rather just put him into a box and disregard what he says as “crazy.” He’s not wrong. It’s easy to do and I am always cognizant of doing that to anyone after hearing Dave Chappelle discuss a similar situation years ago:
Chappelle gets it better than most. He was the most successful comedian in the world with one of the most popular TV shows of all-time. I still quote Chappelle’s Show 10+ years later even though it barely finished 2 seasons. He famously rejected a $50 Million deal from Comedy Central and moved to Africa so Chappelle knows a thing or two about being labeled crazy.
Enter Joe Rogan, who jumped in and offered Kanye a platform to discuss his ideas; nothing more nothing less.
I would be happy to talk to you about it for as long as you’d like. https://t.co/jPCeNJ5nmB
— Joe Rogan (@joerogan) December 15, 2018
As one of the most widely downloaded podcasts in the world, Kanye will be able to talk about whatever he wants and probably for as long as he wants since the majority of Rogan’s podcasts are anywhere from 2-4 hours. This could be a trainwreck for Kanye or it could provide some valuable context to the bizarre antics he’s becoming known for more than his music. Either way I will be listening to this the second it drops.
Yahoo – Israel’s most famous model Bar Refaeli is suspected of tax evasion and will be called into a hearing ahead of her possible indictment, authorities said Thursday.
Wesley Snipes. The guy from “Girls Gone Wild”. And now Bar Refaeli. A Sports Illustrated starlet and one of Leo’s most famous exes. Famous folks going to the clink for tax evasion is as American (Israeli) as peanut butter and jelly (whatever is popular in Israel). What is indeed shocking here, however, is the amount. And timing.
Bar Refaeli owes the Israeli government the American equivalent of $6.1 million. Hollllly moly. That’s a lot of shekels, which is apparently what Israeli currency is actually called. That is a fuckton in back taxes and an amount I can only imagine was the fault of a business manager and not like, Bar herself getting a few million dollar checks she forgot about. Although models make so much Goddam money that her getting a big piece of paper and just framing it and forgetting about it Ricky Henderson-style would not at all shock me.
The timing is also a little ridiculous. I feel like the statute of limitations on back taxes should be like, a couple years tops. It’s just such an innocuous crime and really the government’s fault. Like if a teacher doesn’t ever check homework who’s fuckin fault is that? Bar Refaeli’s indiscretions in this case date back as far as almost a decade ago. GTFOH Israel. You snooze you lose. You want those Swimsuit Edition taxes maybe lay off the West Bank ten minutes and pay attention to the East General Ledger.
So pretty soon Bar Refaeli may go from the world’s hottest deserter to the world’s hottest prisoner. Hotter even than the “hot mugshot guy” who then divorced his ride or die for some heiress flunky. Maybe her and Leo will even get back together and have what will go down as the hottest conjugal visits in History.
One can only hope.
-Joey B
2018 was a banner year for The 300s as we saw our readership grow exponentially, we rolled out a ton of new swag, and we brought some new writers onto the staff. We appreciate everyone who takes a few minutes out of their day to read a blog or watch a video or listen to a podcast. With that being said, it’s the last day of the year so we had to break down the Top 10 Blogs of 2018.
1.) David Price Continues Good Will Tour, Rips 69-Year-Old Red Sox Reporter Jonny Miller
2.) Apparently Jon Gruden’s Son, Deuce Gruden, is the Goddamn Hulk
3.) RIP Mac Miller, Dead at 26
4.) Nike Deserves Applause for Choosing Colin Kaepernick as New Face of “Just Do It” Campaign
5.) Boston Celtics NBA 2K19 Ratings Predictions
6.) The Marlins Are Replacing the Ugly Home Run Statue With Irony
7.) Tough Break for Malden Men Who Recovered Red Sox Banner
8.) Terrible News: Ed Hochuli is Retiring. Better News: His Son is Replacing Him
9.) I LOVE This Quote From Rick Porcello
10.) Brock Lesnar Possibly Playing Ivan Drago’s Son In “Creed 2”
The 300s 